/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

You're summoned before the Yama, who promptly hands you the Rod of Remorse, and tells you that for the next 2 weeks you'll be judging souls to heaven or hell while she goes on a much needed vacation.

As she walks away, you realize you've been given no instructions on what to do otherwise. How do you handle the pressure /jp/?

[Kokoro Chan No.]

>>11026707
>>11026707
Brother, If I was in her place, I would be a god, and not some pussy slave to a yama.

[Anonymous No.]

I hand her MY rod

[Anonymous No.]

Throw a big party till she gets back.

[Anonymous No.]

ALL Y'all Muthafuckas goin' to hell

[Anonymous No.]

Send Shikieki to hell and go wild for more than two weeks.

[Anonymous No.]

Shout after her and ask questions. Why me? The hell am I supposed to do?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026723
judge souls obviously!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026720
She's not dead and probably can't be sent to hell anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026718
Okay

[Anonymous No.]

I'd send janny to HELL.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026726
But I don't know how!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026732
Did you /diy/ that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026707
Call for Komachi to help explain how Shiki usually does things. Once I have an understanding, do the job. Of course I would ham it up and make just about every judgement over dramatic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026761
Are you gonna bang Komachi on Shiki's desk?

[Anonymous No.]

It would have been nice if she had given me her Cleansed Crystal Mirror, too. I mean, I can get a rough sense of how sinful the person was based on how heavy the rod of remorse is, so that can guide me a bit. I'll probably end up rubberstamping people into the reincarnation wheel unless I can't actually pick up the Rod of Remorse at all because it's too heavy, in which case they go to hell. If it doesn't weigh anything, they get to become a Celestial.

I figure that's about as good as I can do without the ability to look at their lives or be able to distinctly distinguish black from white.

[Anonymous No.]

I exchange tickets to heaven for sex and other goods.
Before leaving I hide a shit under Yama's desk.

[Anonymous No.]

Invite Komachi to the office to get drunk with me while we randomly send souls to hell.

Enma-sama should know better than ask someone like me to do her job!

[Anonymous No.]

Whack EVERYONE (except Komachi) with the rod of remorse.

Anyone who shows pain goes to hell!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026875

Of course you have to whack Komachi's ass too. Such delicious butt demands spanking.

[Anonymous No.]

Arrange things so that I can capture the Yama when she returns.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026905
How do you capture a God?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026933
Very carefully. Everyone has a weakness.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you think she enjoys her job?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026971
Sometimes. She's got good days and bad days.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026971
Who wouldn't enjoy it? Besides she looks very passionate about judging people.

[Anonymous No.]

Do my best in hopes of getting praised for doing a good job. Maybe even a pat on the head.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026983
I dunno. She really, really doesn't want to send people to hell, but has to anyway because of her job. I can't imagine that doesn't get to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026805
That sounds like a good course of action.
Unless Eiki is testing me for her own use.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027017
>She really, really doesn't want to send people to hell
Are you sure about that? I don't think that an eternal like her cares much for sinners.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027017
She loves preaching though


I'd love to preach too but I don't know if my preaching wouldn't be a little inappropiate

I mean, I follow totally different moral system and shit
I'd probably reverse shit up

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027031
She spends all her free time trying to get people not to sin.

[Anonymous No.]

So who is stronger, Eiki or Reimu?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027058
Eiki

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027050
Just because she wants to prevent people from committing sins it doesn't mean that she feels remorse for sending sinners to hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027067
Then why bother?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027071
why not?

are you astisusm?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027071
Ask colonel Dirlewanger!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027071
Because of her love for justice, obviously.

[Anonymous No.]

What gives Shikieiki the right, the authority to judge a man and his entire life?
Who is she to judge what is right and wrong?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027087
>Who is she to judge what is right and wrong?

She is enma, that's who.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026707
can I fug Komachi?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027087
Oh, you remind me how buttmad I was because the game wouldn't allow me to destroy the Wall.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027099

No sexual harassment in the workplace.

You can romance her normally, though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027095
And what gives them the right? To judge all morality?

By mere power and divinity? How is that any different than enforcing one's own morals on others with an iron fist?

Having any one being judging one's entire life and their actions and how "moral" or "correct" they are just doesn't sit well with me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027106
That frustrated me too.

But at least the proper wheels are in motion and in some endings it mentioned Kaelyn crusading and saving a few damned souls from the wall.
The mere fact that someone can be saved from the wall means the whole world to me.
It means that it can one day be brought down, brick by brick if need be.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027116
She's the enma. That's all the right she needs.
You're arguing over what gives birds the right to fly or what right the sky has to be blue.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027116
She is a God, and as such is all-knowing and never wrong. Unlike mortals she isn't swayed by feelings, she just cares about the absolute moral value of the soul.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027112
Is Eiki herself open to be romanced?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027116

Her power to discern what is "black" and what is "white" is what gives her the right.

It is not "one's own morals" but an absolute morality that exists independent of all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027138
No. The Yama is married to her job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027133
There are scientific reasons as for why we see the sky as blue and why birds can fly.
Birds fought and adapted and evolved to be able to fly, they have a history in it. They earned that right.

For what reason does she judge? What right does she have in damning others?
Because she was appointed? Because she was the first being? Because some religious figures said so? Because they had the power to appoint her?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027153
She was given divine rights for her faith.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027116
I think that, in this psuedo-Buddhist cosmology, morality is woven into the very fabric of reality, and the Enma is appointed by the Powers-that-Be to judge all those who die. She is not moral by reason, or by might, or coercion. She is moral by axiom; things just work that way because they do. For instance, we know, roughly, what gravity does. We don't know why it does what it does, though, or even how.

[Anonymous No.]

the
e
n
m
a

Captcha:
mxpeni bending

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027149
Aw, come on...

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027153
You know, it's cool to rebel against divine powers the way Sakuya does it.

But it's fucking disgraceful to do it the way you do it.

that victim-complex twisted logic is just sick, you can question anything like that

at the end of the day, only you remain a broken, clueless faggot

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027112
can I romance her with my dick?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027153
And there's mystical reasons as for why Eiki judges souls.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027183
That's so cute. It's good to see Eiki smile.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027169
Cut it out or you'll be sentenced!

[Anonymous No.]

Is voodoo an automatic sentence to Hell?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027194
What? It's a sin to try and swoon the yama now?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027208
I don't think that "black" magic is a sin in Buddhism, so it wouldn't be a sin unless you used it to harm others.

[Anonymous No.]

You die, and Eiki sentences you to hell. Something goes wrong, though, and she falls into hell instead.
Do you flee while you have the chance, or go in after her?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027216
No. As long as you don't harass her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027208
Does Alice even use black magic to animate her dolls?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027232
Define harass.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027227
After her!
If I am dead I have no where to run anyway

not that she needs my help anyway

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027232
Define harass.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027227
Eiki is already in hell, silly Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027252
Nah, not quite. Regardless, I meant she fell into the infinite horrible torture part of hell.

>>11027242
Everyone's equally helpless in hell, anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027262
Post the beerfloating one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027262
Eiki's a murderer!?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027268

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027266
>Everyone's equally helpless in hell, anon.

reimu and marisa fared pretty well, as far as I recall from th11

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027251
Objectifying her for your sexual desires and/or doing anything that distracts her from her job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027273
Fucking masterpiece. If there's a hall of fame for great comics this deserves to be in it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027279
That's easier said than done. She IS gorgeous, you know. A real feast for the eyes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027227
Shikieiki's pretty cool, and I don't blame her for damning me to burn forever or anything. It's her job, and even if it wasn't, I probably deserve it.
I guess it determines which hell it is. If it's Gensokyo a-cave-underground Hell she's probably fine. The way I imagine this going wrong is that suddenly she falls down an extremely deep hole onto her ass, in which case she gets a complimentary omg r u ok ??
If it's superterrible eternal torment Shitsville hell, I'd probably actually go after her, because that would really suck for her, and I'm already dead anyway. I don't know what I could do, but I'd try and do it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027280
You know, I actually enjoy them unironically

I like this sort of humor

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027290
Either overcome the slavery of sexual urges or be damned for life.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027274
Well that was just the entryway or something, right? In the main part of hell, everyone's at the mercy of it's tortures. Otherwise the stronger people could just bust out or fight it off or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027305
Hey now, it's perfectly natural for men to be attracted to attractive women. How can you call it slavery?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026805
LIVING THE DREAM

[Anonymous No.]

All souls go to hell unless I'm genuinely impressed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027273
Hey, I typeset that, you jerk!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027227
If you saved Eiki from Hell, would she change your sentence?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027331
oh wait no this was the one I typeset. Nevermind.

[Anonymous No.]

Komachi is theoretically still around, and she's my bro, so I ask her how shit works, and then do a good job.
Unless she's like "pff Idunno dude, drink beer," in which case I drink beer and do a shitty job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027341
I guess that she would take your good deed into account and cast a new judgement.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027341
If you save her just because you think it'll get you in her good graces, no. You'll still be doomed to a miserable eternity.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027341
probably not unless you were maybe really on the edge between here and then and still, it would probably take something extraordinary and out-of-character of you for her to even consider changing her sentence

that's because she has said several times that once you are dead it's too late for anything

[Anonymous No.]

I'd probably do terribly and get punished eternally. I'm way too forgiving, I don't want to send anyone to hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027295
I wasn't being ironic at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027347
I did hash search and I got only two results, including this thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027368
Well, let's say that wasn't it.

>>11027369
I dunno. Willingly leaping into literally the worst place one could ever possibly be to save someone would be pretty extraordinary for almost anyone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027386
This Eiki is to harsh. Laziness shouldn't be a damning offense.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

How well would Eiki and Kasen get along?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027393
I think that, given the magnitude of Komachi's job, sloth

actually.

What does sloth do? I mean, she has eternity to judge the souls anyways, right? But she is deliberately going out of the way to avoid her duties. I think things work differently for Shinigami. If I recall correctly, in Eiki's scenario in PoFV, she says that ferrying souls are good deeds for Shinigami, so it stands to reason that deliberately not ferrying souls, in defiance of one's reason for existence, would be a great sin, far more so than it would be for a mortal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027419
Scary.
I really, really don't want to think of Komachi in hell.

[Anonymous No.]

Some misunderstandings about the Hell Shiki uses in this thread.
It's not christian-style, eternal suffering Hell. Damned souls spend a long time down there, but eventually get booted out and reincarnated. I'm not exactly sure how long an average sinners stay in Hell lasts, but it's not forever.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027447
No, you're right. I just didn't see a reason to make it explicit. But different crimes have different lengths along with different hells. The very worst sins result in a stay multiple cycles of reality long, but you'll eventually get reincarnated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027462
>The very worst sins result in a stay multiple cycles of reality long
Oh, good. So it might as well be forever.
What about lesser sins?

[Anonymous No.]

repeatedly spank Komachi with the rod to gain favor with Eiki and have records expunged

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027476
Pfft, weak.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027472
I can't remember, sorry. I'm sure that there's a listing of all the sins, hells, and durations somewhere online.

It really isn't forever though. It's so long that it's forever to our feeble mortal perceptions, but Kaguya and Mokou are gonna last even longer. Infinitely longer, in point of fact.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027488
She's soaked. The Yama's a masochist?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027503
Well it's my feeble mortal perceptions that I'm using when it's my feeble mortalness that's gonna be tortured for multiple realities!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027509
Well, while you're down there, you can comfort yourself with the absolute and irrevocable knowledge that, eventually, you are going to get out and the torment will end. Even if it takes the birth and death of several sum totalities of existence.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027518
I guess-

>Even if it takes the birth and death of several sum totalities of existence.
nope nope nope nope nope

That does it. Eiki, teach me how to not go to hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027523
Basically, so long as you don't intentionally kill your parents or a Buddha you're safe from the lowest and longest hell. Someone later added "causing a schism within an order of monks or nuns" to that list, so I like to imagine that a monk somewhere scribbled it into the margins.

Anything other than those sins ensures that you'll at least get out within this particular reality. Unless, I suppose, you die really, REALLY close to the end, in which case there's a bit of wrap-around, but whatever.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027539
How can I avoid hell altogether?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027551
http://www.virtuescience.com/defilements.html

Going to one of the Hells is a result of your Karmic debt being so great that it would be impossible to "pay off" in a lifetime. So long as you try to stay on the right path you'll probably end up being reincarnated. Most people wind up somewhere in the middle, I think. Too sinful to warrant a higher form of life, not sinful enough to warrant a hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027568
Geeez, that's a lot of stuff. Ridiculous! What happens if you land in the middle?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027580
Reincarnation. I don't really know the details beyond that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027568
Those are ridiculous. I've had cases where I did every single one of those at least once up until now in my still young life.

Also
>voluptuousness
Confirmed for jelly as fuck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027633
They're not really sins in the Christian sense of the word, so much as things that are thought to pollute the soul on some level. They don't carry the same weight that the word sin implies, even though they're still not good.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027568
I hate this shit. What is even left to feel? Literally everything is sinning. Everything causes cancer.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027663
Did you know that the #1 leading cause of death is birth?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027651
How much pollution can the soul take? Can you pollute it a bunch, than clean it up by doing good things?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027773
>Can you pollute it a bunch, than clean it up by doing good things?
The worst people I've encountered have always seemed to think like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026805
Why would you ask a question with an obvious answer?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027799
That doesn't answer my question.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027873
It kind of does.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026805
Yes please

[Anonymous No.]

>>11026707
I'd le send all the le souls to le hell! xDDD

[Anonymous No.]

>>11028157
Cool

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027568
Clearly the best course of action is to take down the Yama.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11028248
>take down the commander of the Shinigami
Try it. Then you can see how fast it takes to hit the lowest layer of Hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11027176
So worshipping any being with more power than you is the non disgraceful thing to do?

Thanks anon-kun, duly noted.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11028355
She just gave me her seat for 2 weeks. I can work something out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11028391

No, no. You're just the judge and you have the rod of remorse. You don't have supreme executive power over the Ministry of What's Right and What's Wrong. OP doesn't say you're a Yama for two weeks.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11028391
Given that the Yama probably counts as a Buddha (Jizou statue and all), killing her or spilling her blood would send you straight down to the lowest hell, where you'd stay for a couple kalpas. You'd get to see the next cycle, though, so it probably wouldn't be all bad.

[Anonymous No.]

No

[Anonymous No.]

>>11028425
Of course not, but I've still got total access to her workplace/home and whatnot.
I can work something out.

>>11028801
Oh, god! I don't want to KILL her!

[Anonymous No.]

Business casual dress standard
Sitting back in the big chair judging people to hell
Komachi hidden under the desk sucking my cock the entire time, me getting enjoyment out of it, her enjoying getting out of having to do real work.