[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/jp/ - Otaku Culture

View post   
  [?]In ghost mode, only threads with non-archived posts will be shown
File: 263 KB, 750x750, 804936756abd66b6c3cfbe69711c829b.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10921069 No.10921069[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

OKAY /jp/

YOU MASTER THE JAPANESE LANGUAGE/GET A LOLI GF/ANY OTAKU MERCHANDISE YOU WANT, ONLY ONE CONDITION: YOU MUST SUCK 3 DICKS A DAY FOR 3 YEARS.

THE DICKS WILL BE OF VARYING SIZE, COLOUR AND SHAPE

THEY WILL COME THROUGH A MAGIC PORTAL IN ONE OF YOUR WALLS AT RANDOM TIMES DURING THE DAY WHEN YOU ARE ALONE (BUT NOT WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING)

WELL /jp/, DO YOU CHOOSE WEEABOO HEAVEN OR BEING A FAGGOT WHO'S INSECURE IN THEIR SEXUALITY?

>> No.10921082

I don't like dicks

>> No.10921081

So its just a portal penis? Not a man standing over me? No thanks I won't suck on a single one then.

>> No.10921078

>insecure about sexuality

I'm pretty damn sure I won't enjoy sucking dicks.

>> No.10921088
File: 205 KB, 700x600, 1367109766897.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10921088

>>10921069
I suck all three dicks for the next three years of course.

I get all the merch I want and I get master the art of blowjobs. It's a win-win situation.

>> No.10921100

Wait, let me get this straight:
I get all that free shit AND I get to suck portal dicks? What's the catch?

>> No.10921105

Do the dicks belong to futanaris? If so, I'll suck 20 a day forever.

>> No.10921109

I'll take it. And then I'll immediately fall asleep and learn how to do everything while sleeping. Sleepwalk, sleep indulge in my cool new stuff, sleep ass scratching, and I dont have to suck dicks since I'm sleeping, it's the perfect plan.

>> No.10921111

How many dicks do I have to suck to become a Touhou?

>> No.10921115

>>10921111
this man has his priorities straight

>> No.10921118

>>10921111
Thousands, but unfortunately that path only leads to becoming Sanae.

>> No.10921123

>VARYING SIZE, COLOUR AND SHAPE

You mean I could get a cute little white one?

I'm not even gay, but this is very tantalizing.

>> No.10921129
File: 43 KB, 500x565, 1356228949170.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10921129

>>10921118

>> No.10921141

Can I have a cute jaypee boyfriend instead of all that other stuff? I want to suck 4 dicks a day.

>> No.10921156

That's all I have to do? Done!

>> No.10921165

Do people actually like small, phimotic penises, or is it just an ironic thing?

>> No.10921169

>>10921165
I like to suck on them getting fucked by one not so much.

>> No.10921176

>>10921169
Will you suck mine please?

>> No.10921183

>>10921165
I think phimosis is a myth Americans propagate to make themselves feel better about their merchant cocks. Seriously, how hard could it be to do some stretching exercises and fix it?

>> No.10921208

>>10921183
I have been stretching for over a month and I haven't seen any improvement yet.

>> No.10921216

>>10921208
Can you pull it all the way back? What if you did that and slept that way every night?

>> No.10921231

I only suck the penises if they are STD-free and clean...

>> No.10921234

>>10921216
I can't pull it back even a little. The most I can stretch it is so it's maybe 4-6cm in diameter.

>> No.10921241
File: 37 KB, 400x600, 03_alice_volleyball_trouble_red.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10921241

that sounds too good. i would just imagine that its from a cute trap

>> No.10921250

>>10921234
That sucks. I guess you could ask a doctor for proper stretching equipment or whatever, but if you're anything like me that might stress you out too much.

>> No.10921258

It's not a ~le epic troll thread~ if half the replies are from you, T.

>> No.10921283

>>10921250
It doesn't bother me that much plus I heard most doctors try to circumcise it?

>> No.10921291

>>10921283
Fair enough. I don't know if doctors still circumcise for phimosis today, but if it doesn't bother you I suppose that's irrelevant.

>> No.10921302

Wait, did I rescue an evil wizard?

>> No.10921305
File: 105 KB, 580x700, 1362967391950.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10921305

Let's get this started

859 looking to get sucked off

>> No.10921312
File: 219 KB, 332x399, 2f4r5e9s7e5d.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10921312

>>10921305
EOP

>> No.10921322

>>10921291
I'm a little worried it will bother other people which is why I'm trying to stretch it.

>> No.10921338

>>10921322
>bother other people
What? How?

>> No.10921341

>>10921322
>pretending youre ever going to use it

>> No.10921356

>>10921183
Nope.

I didn't realize you were supposed to be able to pull it back until I was about 16. When I finally did, it hurt like HELL, but once I had it "stretched in" it was fine. Kind of like blowing up a balloon for the first time.

There's still a little pink tip of extra skin at the top.

>> No.10921378

For Remilia, I would suck all the dicks in the world.

>> No.10921375

>>10921338
>>10921341
I met a really cute boy I'm interested in.

>> No.10921378,1 [INTERNAL] 

>>10921375
Tell us more details! How cute is he?

>> No.10921378,2 [INTERNAL] 

>>10921378,1
kill yourself fucking HOMO

>> No.10921378,3 [INTERNAL] 

>>10921378,2
I'm not any such thing! I just love a cute love story! Don't you?

>>
Reply to thread [?]Don't expect anything heroic. Your post will not be uploaded to the original board.
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Action