Net Idol Discussion Thread

[Anonymous No.]

Discuss net idols!

[Anonymous No.]

milky-chan is my waifu.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you guys recommend any upcoming net idols?

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765871
milk is the only net idol you need.

[Anonymous No.]

What with all the Milk spam threads? Did she die or something?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

pls stop

[Anonymous No.]

del

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765871

Milk is #1 up-and-coming net idol right now, she's trending quite sharply.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765881
someone with LEGIT autism has been spamming threads all day, janitor keeps deleting, recently /jp/ has just been spamming the fuck ut of them.
GJ guys!

[Anonymous No.]

OP, I will *actually* kill you. If you don't stop posting this dumb slut, I will actually find you, come to your house, and snap your fucking neck.

Do you get me? Get the fuck off this board or I will rape your fucking mother in front of you and cut your fucking head off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765895

Sounds like the janitor has autism too!

[Anonymous No.]

http://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=milk

we're getting there, guys

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765898

The goddess milk will reach down from her throne and give me the touch of life. Checkmate.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765904
>http://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=milk

>related terms: breast milk

L-lewd!

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765860
>no one knows her
>doesn't sing, dance or do anything else
>net idol

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765904
milk is famous!

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765913
Please don't post that ugly picture.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765925
Thank you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765920

But it was relevant to 'breast milk'. I'm sorry. I've deleted it.

[Anonymous No.]

So what are the qualifications for a net model?
I'm gonna model my ballsack and call it a net model too!
wait warmly!

[Anonymous No.]

Seeing that nothing in the cubicle would respond to their attempts at moving or destroying it, they gave up and walked out into the hallway.

"This place sure is wierd," Patchouli commented sadly, "let's see what's in the other ones."

They visited several more cubicles, but the situation was the same; in each one was a man playing one of the Touhou series, and none of them could be disturbed by anything they did. After a while, it became apparent that almost every one of the cubicles was identical, and the hallway seemed to go on forever in either direction.

They continued to walk in silence, looking into the cubicles on either side for any sign of escape. One of them seemed to be empty except for a single purple book lying exactly in the middle, and aligned perfectly with the four walls.

"This one's different! But... what can we do?" Koakuma said as they entered it.

[Anonymous No.]

PC gaming:
Poor low res graphics
Horrible sound quality
Immature userbase
Rampant piracy and hackers
Viruses can be transferred through dedicated servers
Paid DLC and updates
Most games have a subscription fee
Terrible outdated controls
Very expensive
Not many games come out for it
Has to be upgraded regularly

Console gaming:
Beautiful HD graphics
Adobe 2.2 Stereo Sound
Mature levelheaded community
Regular firmware updates to prevent hackers and piracy
Top of the line firewalls to stop hackers
Free DLC and updates
No subscription fees
Incredibly accurate controls
Very affordable
Tons of games come out each year
No need to upgrade until the new consoles come out 5-6 years later

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765929

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Net_idol

[Anonymous No.]

I want to be the best, there ever was
To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause!

Radiatore, Pipe, Barbina, Manti
Quadrefiore, Rigate, Fiori, Pici
Stelle, Orzo, Pearl Pasta, Ditali
Pastina, Mezzelune, Fregula, Ravioli!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

I'll search across the land, look far and wide
Release from my hand, the power that's inside!

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765913
Are women blind to the fact that there is cleavage in their picture?

This is like when people make stupid YouTube videos, watch over them, and think, "Yep, that's good enough for the internet."

Did Milk look at that picture before she uploaded it to Facebook? Is she aware how much cleavage is showing? If so, is she glad it does? Is she aware lewd men like cleavage? Does she know people have masturbated to this picture? Does she like all these things? If so, did she take the picture with that intent, or was it just a happy accident? How about when she chose that outfit?

[Anonymous No.]

Its lunch, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, got a delicious veal sandwich and was on my way back home. There was this thuggish "Nigga" style black dude, he was behind me, I stopped, because he was walking quite fast, and I didn't want to be in his way.
He comes up to me, and asked, “Do you have any money?”, I knew where he was going with this, so I said, “Yeah, but you’re not getting any of it.”, and I walked away. I suppose it’s in his blood, he was going to punch the back of my head but I quickly grabbed and threw him over my shoulder, he fell down and became unconscious. I checked if he had any drugs/money, found cocaine in his jacket and called the cops.
I guess it wasn’t really a fight since it lasted less than 10 seconds, it really shows how effective Aikido is in real life situations.
It feels good to help the police catch drug dealers/druggies.

[Anonymous No.]

I am a computer programmer, which means I'm fat, nerdy, and have a tiny cock. I got AIDS from paying a cheap whore to fuck me, since I have no love in my life.
When the doctor told me, I went to the only thing I knew -- SICP.
I slammed my penis between two copies of SICP. It swelled up to twice normal size and fell off. I was worried.
I woke up the next day with incredible abs, a 14" rod of steel, and no HIV. I'm now an adult movie star, banging porn stars.
Thank you, SICP!

[Anonymous No.]

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

[Anonymous No.]

"I...my heart..."

"...Stan?!" Mugi whimpered, hand going to stroke his cheek. "Stan!? Are you...Stan!" Mugi sat up, letting his head rest on her small breasts.

He barely managed to pull out of her, his semen mixed with the coffee now dripping out of her onto the floor.

"...Acceler...ator...I...I love you... HHNNNNGHHHHH" Stan Lee had just experienced a heart attack. He lost consciousness in his sweetheart's arms, as she rocked him back and forth, openly weeping for the man who had only loved Accelerator.

"Stan...oh Stan..." Mugi whispered, gently stroking his hair. She sobbed. "I'm glad...I could make your final moments happy..." She took the cup of coffee...mere drops left. Tilting the cup to get those last drops, she held the liquid in her mouth...it was barely lukewarm.

She kissed him, gently prying open his lips with her tongue, letting the small bit of liquid flow into his mouth.

"...Goodnight, sweet prince." she whispered in his ear, embracing him, before slowly humming Fuwa Fuwa Time to his motionless body.

[Anonymous No.]

Shinji...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. FSN is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Sakura and stole Rider to use in the war?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Sakura. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Sakura.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK SAKURA? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Shinji knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Sakura want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Rider and used her in the war for his own greed.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from a brutal war so wrong? When Shirou does the same thing to Saber it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Shinji does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Sakura. He probably was going to use his Holy Grail wish to tighten her cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shirou look good. Objectively, Shinji is a far better character than Shirou. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shirou, and if he weren't stuck with the weak ass servant Rider and no plothax he probably would have won the war.

[Anonymous No.]

CHARACTERS:

The worst part of Elfen Lied. The characters are garbage. They are so cliche and so overboard, they almost insult the intelligence of the viewer, as if we couldn't tell that Bando was short tempered and callous without either threatening the life or punching the faces of every single person he comes in contact with. All the characters are extremely unrealistic and act in ways no real person in today's society would ever act. Like a four year old girl who talks like a James Bond villain? Or elementary school boys who bully their classmates by smashing their puppies faces in with bottles? Teenagers who find naked women lying on beaches and takes them home to live with them without exchanging hardly any words? Besides all that, there weren't many cliches that weren't used in the daily dialogue from the characters. It was actually pretty painful.

[Anonymous No.]

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765929
>So what are the qualifications for a net model?
>I'm gonna model my ballsack and call it a net model too!
Well, for one, it has to be a person.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765929
Please post pictures of your ballsack. Seriously. I want to see it.

[Anonymous No.]

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.

As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.

Yawn.

Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.

The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.

Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.

3 out of 10.

[Anonymous No.]

"Art thou my master?"
"Dayummm girl, ain't seen many like you round Compton. That's some nice hair and shit, that a weave?"
"Zounds, thou art a Nubian! How came you from the dark continent?"
"Say what? Look atchoo, talkin' all like Shakeanbake and shit. That's coo', that's coo'. I hear that."
"This land be twixt foul and fair, who buildeth towers to peak through the blanket of clouds, yet the streets below Nubians unyolk'd runneth over."
"Aiiight, aiiight, I can tell you ain't from round here. You want me to show you round or somfin'? Me an my boys –"
"I'll away to find my master, only heeding his say shalt mine confusion repurpose."
"Aiyo, you leavin' already? Come on baby, come here ..."
"Hold! Hold! Fly from here, your bound's o'erstepped. Your eyes shall see not my keen blade afore it calls you to account."
"What is that, a sword? Aw come on baby, put it down fore you hurt choself ..."
"Fie! Away!"
"I ain't gon' do nothing you don't want me to ... let's get all this armor offa you, shorty."
"I bid you stay thine huge lips ..."
"Don't choo like this? I think you like this ..."
"Forsooth ..."
"Aww yeahhh ..."
"HARK! What pain through yonder hymen breaks?"
"Damn, you tight as hay-ell, bitch! This some tight-ass pussy!"
"OUT, DAMNED COCK; OUT, I SAY!"
"Uh! Yeah! Yeah! Ugh!"
"O, thine lance be long ..."
"Uh! Uh! Uh!
"O Nubian! Nubian!"
"YOU LIKE THIS? YOU LIKE THIS? GRAGGHHHH"
"PUMP ME FULL O' THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS"
"DAYYYYYYYYYUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

[Anonymous No.]

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand - it doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical. Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself, who knows? - You look down and you see a tortoise, it's crawling towards you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping. This is what tanasinn is like.

[Anonymous No.]

Have some love handles that you would love to get rid of?

There is a way. A quick way.

Aikido.

You will be down to 10% body fat by the forth month, while learning the most effective martial arts at the same time. I used to have fat around my stomach area, did Aikido, now my six pack can be seen by all the ladies.

Become fit and kick ass at the same time.

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, so now I'm more anxious than ever before and I go back to the room where everyone else who was summoned was waiting (and where the accident happened..), holy fuck. I sat alone in a corner in the FRONT (the only empty seat..) and waited, and waited.. for about 30 minutes that seemed like years to me, I was sweating through the whole thing, with watery eyes. I could fucking feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. (My eyes just got wet remembering it ;_;) Anyway, so from about 50 people that were gathered here, only 30 would have to go to the courthouse.. Yeah "go to the courthouse" FUCK ME. The whole fucking time I was under the impression that this was the courthouse, even though it didn't look like one. So I'm sitting there listening as the same lady from before is calling out the names. So I'd been keeping count, hoping that I wasn't one of them, we're at 29 and I'm about to scream inside my head with joy... and she calls out my name. A tear literally fell down my eyes and I walked out as fast as I could, only to have her call out to me and go.. hey! are you so-and-so? Then I remembered people answering "here" as if they were in school and I said with the shakiest voice possible "yeah" and she says to me, Here these are the directions on how to get there, and so I had to walk all the way back up there, get the paper and then go back out.. all while everyone else who wasn't called, but told to wait anyway, stared fixedly at my pathetic face.

[Anonymous No.]

GJ spammer!

[Anonymous No.]

"I...my heart..."

"...Stan?!" Mugi whimpered, hand going to stroke his cheek. "Stan!? Are you...Stan!" Mugi sat up, letting his head rest on her small breasts.

He barely managed to pull out of her, his semen mixed with the coffee now dripping out of her onto the floor.

"...Acceler...ator...I...I love you... HHNNNNGHHHHH" Stan Lee had just experienced a heart attack. He lost consciousness in his sweetheart's arms, as she rocked him back and forth, openly weeping for the man who had only loved Accelerator.

"Stan...oh Stan..." Mugi whispered, gently stroking his hair. She sobbed. "I'm glad...I could make your final moments happy..." She took the cup of coffee...mere drops left. Tilting the cup to get those last drops, she held the liquid in her mouth...it was barely lukewarm.

She kissed him, gently prying open his lips with her tongue, letting the small bit of liquid flow into his mouth.

"...Goodnight, sweet prince." she whispered in his ear, embracing him, before slowly humming Fuwa Fuwa Time to his motionless body.

[Anonymous No.]

So there I was in Little Ceasars getting some crazy bread and cheese sauce, when I look over at my girlfriend who's sitting down, apparently unphased by how much her shirt is hanging down and how much her titties are showing.

"Jesus christ, cover your tits up."
"I can do what I want."

Upon hearing this, the giant negra in line next to me turns to face me, makes eye contact, turns to look my girlfriend in the face, lowers her gaze to her tits, looks back at her face, looks towards me, I smile and nod, and he goes back to ordering.

She got offended I didn't do anything but hey, fuck that. I'll share.

[Anonymous No.]

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand - it doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical. Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself, who knows? - You look down and you see a tortoise, it's crawling towards you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping. This is what tanasinn is like.

[Anonymous No.]

Picture your consciousness as a galaxy of stars, revolving around a supermassive black hole, the gravity of which anchors it in reality.

Now, imagine that supermassive black hole swelling enormously in size, growing and expanding until it devours all the stars in the entire galaxy.

This is what tanasinn is like.

[Anonymous No.]

My little sister doesn't like Lucky Star, so I decided to set a trap for her. When she came home from school on Friday, I was waiting in her closet wearing an Old Man mask. I jumped out and went HRRRRRGGH which made her scream. She realized it was me and started yelling at me, so I hit her with a blast from my tazer. After tazing her for about a minute straight, I started shaking her shoulders and making a low, humming noise through my closed lips. As she came to, I said "I'm Dr. Wily" and raised and lowered my eyelids at her over and over. She tried to break free, but I placed her between her matress and box frame and laid on top of her until mom came home.

[Anonymous No.]

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm sorry, but did Messi already lose? Oh, that’s right. The game isn’t even over yet. In fact, it’s only halftime. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you’re saying? Because if you’re saying that I can assure you that you’re wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is still on? Messi still playing right now and he has been the best player in the world for how many years now? He's playing one of the worst teams in the Copa America who just happen to have a lead because they’re feeding off the energy of playing in a Wednesday Night Game. But you know what? They still fucking suck. Messi is one of the best players of al time, he scored 53 goals in 55 games last season and would of won the Word Cup if the rest of Argentina didnt chocke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you’re going to be embarrassed when Messi wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, Colombia just missed an open goal like the rest of Argentina has been doing. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I’m fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you’re the only guy making all these anti-Messi topics because you’re a faggot hater who doesn’t like the team because they’re good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It’s so easy to spot out your threads now, you’re a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don’t you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That’s just you, you’re always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine you are reading a book. It is one of those heavy ones that talk about something deep, like social structure or philosophy or theoretic physics. It could even be a really boring novel. The thing is, it has really small letters, in fact they are so small that after some hours of boring reading, the endless series of lines of text start blurring your vision, causing you to skip lines. You try to get your mind together and try to read the next line, but you miss again, reading the same line again and again for two or three times. Getting annoyed by this, you try to look at something else for a moment and resume reading only to take it up at small letters, in fact they are so small that after some hours of boring reading, the endless series of lines of text start blurring your vision, causing you to skip lines. You try to get your mind together and try to read the next line, but you miss again, reading the same line again and again for two or three times. Getting annoyed by this, you try to look at something else for a moment and resume reading only to take it up at small letters, in fact they are so small that after some hours of boring reading, the endless series of lines of text start blurring your vision, causing you to skip lines. You try to get your mind together and try to read the next line, but you miss again, reading the same line again and again for two or three times. Getting annoyed by this, you try to look at something else for a moment and resume reading only to take it up at
page tanasinn

[Anonymous No.]

I recently came upon 4chan when a friend recommended I visit the sites for a few laughs. I figured "What the hell? I could use some laughs." I must say that when I came on I was disgusted and not amused at all. Why you ask? Because everything on this entire site is literally shit! I mean yes there is funny pictures posted every now and then. But honestly; Do any of you little shits have a life? I mean are you so immature and unintelligant that you find things like cartoon porn and random naked UNDERAGE children funny?

GROW UP! Grow up 4chan. You all seriously need a reality check, You could be doing so many things in the day, yet you all choose to sit around on your fucking fat ugly asses and post pictures and then make sarcastic or idiotic comments like "tits or gtfo" "o rly?" and "Manchester united!".

Get off your fat asses and do something better with your life. I mean all of you obviously have no life or a social life either for that matter. Why? Because your so immature and your the very reason why Mother's go through Depression during pregnancy; and the supposed "girls" that come on here and converse with you are just as much losers are you, they are either fatter then fatty-tan or a term you'd better understand as "A trap".

Well I've put in my two cents, and on a last note, I hope you all one day realize just how much of a loser you are, and honestly kill yourself. I could care less if every single one of you got testicular cancer including the girls and then died naked fat and ugly with a pile of shit and pee oozing from your bowels that excavated due to your death. Grow up Assholes!

[Anonymous No.]

Everyday I look at /fit/ and laugh. They are so pathetic, wasting there time in a hot stinky gym lifting weights.

I just do Aikido and I look twice as aesthetic as the best looking /fit/ poster. I'm probably twice as strong too, strong enough to compete competitively as a strongman or Olympic lifter.

But I can actually use my strength to defend myself, I can probably take on four Brock Lesnars.

At once.

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, so now I'm more anxious than ever before and I go back to the room where everyone else who was summoned was waiting (and where the accident happened..), holy fuck. I sat alone in a corner in the FRONT (the only empty seat..) and waited, and waited.. for about 30 minutes that seemed like years to me, I was sweating through the whole thing, with watery eyes. I could fucking feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. (My eyes just got wet remembering it ;_;) Anyway, so from about 50 people that were gathered here, only 30 would have to go to the courthouse.. Yeah "go to the courthouse" FUCK ME. The whole fucking time I was under the impression that this was the courthouse, even though it didn't look like one. So I'm sitting there listening as the same lady from before is calling out the names. So I'd been keeping count, hoping that I wasn't one of them, we're at 29 and I'm about to scream inside my head with joy... and she calls out my name. A tear literally fell down my eyes and I walked out as fast as I could, only to have her call out to me and go.. hey! are you so-and-so? Then I remembered people answering "here" as if they were in school and I said with the shakiest voice possible "yeah" and she says to me, Here these are the directions on how to get there, and so I had to walk all the way back up there, get the paper and then go back out.. all while everyone else who wasn't called, but told to wait anyway, stared fixedly at my pathetic face.

[Anonymous No.]

_、,_
　① （⊂_　　ﾐ　Invented by Korean
　↓
　 ② （ ´_⊃｀）　Commercialized by American
　↓
　③ ﾐ　´_＞｀） Invested by British
　↓
　④ ξ ・_>・） Designed by French
　↓
　⑤ （ ´U_,｀） Publicized by Italian
　↓
　⑥ （　´∀｀）　Improved & miniaturized by German
　↓
　⑦ （ ｀ハ´）　Pirated by Chinese
　↓　　　_,,_
　⑧ 　Claimed its origin by Japanese

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765932
Why would someone masturbate to cleavage?

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @_____@ Touhou.> .

[Anonymous No.]

126,000 YEARS MASTER DRAGON HIKKIKOMORI. HAVE NOT LEFT DUNGEON FOR FOOD IN CENTURIES EVER SINCE VALIANT KNIGHT CHAINED ME DOWN HERE. I AM SCARED OF LEAVING BECAUSE I MIGHT RUN INTO MORE KNIGHTS CAUSING SOCIAL ANXIETY. I WILL PROBABLY DIE A VIRGIN BECAUSE DRAGON-CHAN DOES NOT LIKE GROSS OTAKU-RYU LIKE ME. WHY MUST THE OPPOSITE SEX INSULT MY JAPANESE SPIRIT?

[Anonymous No.]

Having lost most of its face, the yukkuri is unable to form any words. Only wet, primal sounds leave what remains of its mouth. But, that soon changes as the molten sugar finally reaches the bottom of the yukkuri. By now, it was almost hardened and the yukkuri was unable to overcome the viscosity. The yukkuri is encased in a prison of hard, but still hot prison of clear candy. It wants to scream, to move, to escape, but is unable to do so. All it can do it suffer.

It wants to die.

But, it won’t. The cause of its suffering is also the cause for its longevity.

Sugar.

Yukkuri biology is extremely compatible with sugar. Just by touching it, a yukkuri’s body will begin absorbing and transmuting it to sugar. Ingesting sugar has all sorts of beneficial effects such as increased awareness, recovery rate, and resilience for yukkuris. It also acts as a stimulant, preventing them from going to sleep and raising their sensitivity. By pumping such a large amount of candy into the yukkuri, I’ve essentially created an undying yukkuri that would stay awake through anything. And the best thing of all… it would be completely fine again in hours.

I stir the pot. The temperature reaches 160 degrees. I turn off the flame. I prepare the syringe. I turn and face my prey.

The yukkureimu looked as it usually did. No physical traces of its earlier experiences remain. But, one thing is different. It’s not moving. It only stares at me. Its mind is shattered, its soul crushed. Nothing remains. I show it the syringe.

It weeps.

[Anonymous No.]

his is Fujibayashi Ryou:

-Uses her position as class representative to approach the main character.
-Cannot shuffle cards.
-Explains everything off as "maiden's inspiration."
-Even though she might not even be a virgin.
-When she tells your fortune with cards, everything turns out the exact opposite.
-Likes the same person her older sister likes.
-Consults her sister about this even though she knows her sister likes him.
-Uses her sister and manipulates her into playing cupid.
-Her cooking can be considered a harmful substance to mammals.
-Her fashion sense is bad.
-Makes the main character go to her favorite shio tonkotsu ramen place instead of her sister's tonkatsu.
-When she realizes that she has lost, she quickly plays good and tries to help her sister.
-She will suddenly drop her feelings for the first guy and start going out with someone she has only met once in the past.

[Anonymous No.]

The secret of Evangelion is that they took super robot pilots and reversed their genders
if Rei was male, he'd be the awesomely silent/cool/calm guy.
When he rushes that angel with an N2 mine under his arm sacrificing his life ... that is the scene where MANLY TEARS flow for A MAN'S WAY OF LIFE AND DEATH.
Asuka, if a man, would be an awesomely HOT BLOODED pilot. And pervy with his advances on Shinji, but a little tsundere.
And Shinji, as a weak little girl, as a girl, puts it into context. You'd be fapping furiously to Shinjiko every night because of her shy demeanour
And with girl Kaworu, Shinji x Kaworu would be amazingly hot.

Shinjiko has been called to NERV by her estranged father, called to pilot the EVA. She is reluctant, lashes at her father and says why had she been abandoned. Gendo silently orders ManRei to resume piloting. Manrei comes out, arm in cast, bandage over face. He stoically lifts himself from the hospital bed, ready to fight on.

This is the part where your eyes moisten, for this MAN OF MEN will FIGHT TO DIE, Silent to Death, bound to duty

And yet... only a weak little girl abandoned by her father can face the killer angels in his place.

And imagine the reaction to star HOT BLOODED pilot Mansuka, kicking ass and ass kicking angel killer, saving Shinjiko's ass here and there, but she's catching up.

[Anonymous No.]

The cock that cleaves evil
The dick that destroys the denizens of darkness!
The penis that purges all injustice
The member that mangles malevolence!
The schlong that scorges the wicked!
The phallus that fight foul fiendish forces
The shaft that shines through the shadows of villainy
The wang that wrestles against waves of wickedness.
The organ that obliterates offenders!
The genitals that judge jealous jurisdiction.
The rod that resists referees of ruthlessness.
The prick that provokes apostles of predation.
The wang that wacks the wicked
The tool that teaches the terrible with testes.
The boner of evil's bane.

[Anonymous No.]

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

[Anonymous No.]

Shinji...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. FSN is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Sakura and stole Rider to use in the war?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Sakura. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Sakura.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK SAKURA? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Shinji knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Sakura want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Rider and used her in the war for his own greed.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from a brutal war so wrong? When Shirou does the same thing to Saber it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Shinji does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Sakura. He probably was going to use his Holy Grail wish to tighten her cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shirou look good. Objectively, Shinji is a far better character than Shirou. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shirou, and if he weren't stuck with the weak ass servant Rider and no plothax he probably would have won the war.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine that you are alone in the universe. And imagi∵e tha∵ ∴∵∴∵∵e∴∵∴ a∴∵∴e∵∴∵∴∵w∴∵∴ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴ ∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵ ∴∵. T∴∵s is what ta∵asinn ∵s like.

[Anonymous No.]

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! did you leave the lists alone?
Chorus:
Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call.

We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! did you leave that source alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no side-effecting
We don't need no flow control
No global variables for execution
Hey! did you leave the args alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special-nodes
No dark bit-flipping for debugging
Hey! did you leave those bits alone?
(Chorus)
-- "Another Glitch in the Call", a la Pink Floyd

[Anonymous No.]

I decided to take a stroll in the park today in my Aikido suit as I like to call it, the weather was great. I found myself a great spot for doing Aikido techniques, as I train, a beautiful woman came up to me and tapped my shoulder. I was so immersed in training that I mistaken her as a threat and grabbed her arm, tossing her to the ground. I quickly realized my mistake and apologized, she accepted the sincere apology of mine.

Afterwards she asked me what I was doing, I explained to her that I was practicing the ancient and mighty Japanese art of Aikido, she gave me her phone number, wanting to discuss more of Aikido.

An obvious excuse to meetup once again to have sex because I already told her everything about Aikido.

[Anonymous No.]

I hate weeaboos. I don't conisder myself a weeaboo, I'm actually Japanese for real, well almost. I will be when I live in Japan though. Right now I'm studying japanese, japanese history and I'm following Bushido, the way of the warrior. This is why I hate weeaboos that know 5 words in japanese and use them all the time, kawaai baka DESU NE MOTHERFUCKER. I'm actually trying to become Japanese for real unlike all these faker wees. FUCK YOU WEEABOOS

So my question is, how good are my chances of becoming Japanese for real?

[Anonymous No.]

Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a school cafeteria veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, OP, should just stick with today's special.

[Anonymous No.]

The secret of Evangelion is that they took super robot pilots and reversed their genders
if Rei was male, he'd be the awesomely silent/cool/calm guy.
When he rushes that angel with an N2 mine under his arm sacrificing his life ... that is the scene where MANLY TEARS flow for A MAN'S WAY OF LIFE AND DEATH.
Asuka, if a man, would be an awesomely HOT BLOODED pilot. And pervy with his advances on Shinji, but a little tsundere.
And Shinji, as a weak little girl, as a girl, puts it into context. You'd be fapping furiously to Shinjiko every night because of her shy demeanour
And with girl Kaworu, Shinji x Kaworu would be amazingly hot.

Shinjiko has been called to NERV by her estranged father, called to pilot the EVA. She is reluctant, lashes at her father and says why had she been abandoned. Gendo silently orders ManRei to resume piloting. Manrei comes out, arm in cast, bandage over face. He stoically lifts himself from the hospital bed, ready to fight on.

This is the part where your eyes moisten, for this MAN OF MEN will FIGHT TO DIE, Silent to Death, bound to duty

And yet... only a weak little girl abandoned by her father can face the killer angels in his place.

And imagine the reaction to star HOT BLOODED pilot Mansuka, kicking ass and ass kicking angel killer, saving Shinjiko's ass here and there, but she's catching up.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm sorry, but did Messi already lose? Oh, that’s right. The game isn’t even over yet. In fact, it’s only halftime. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you’re saying? Because if you’re saying that I can assure you that you’re wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is still on? Messi still playing right now and he has been the best player in the world for how many years now? He's playing one of the worst teams in the Copa America who just happen to have a lead because they’re feeding off the energy of playing in a Wednesday Night Game. But you know what? They still fucking suck. Messi is one of the best players of al time, he scored 53 goals in 55 games last season and would of won the Word Cup if the rest of Argentina didnt chocke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you’re going to be embarrassed when Messi wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, Colombia just missed an open goal like the rest of Argentina has been doing. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I’m fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you’re the only guy making all these anti-Messi topics because you’re a faggot hater who doesn’t like the team because they’re good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It’s so easy to spot out your threads now, you’re a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don’t you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That’s just you, you’re always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

[Anonymous No.]

"Art thou my master?"
"Dayummm girl, ain't seen many like you round Compton. That's some nice hair and shit, that a weave?"
"Zounds, thou art a Nubian! How came you from the dark continent?"
"Say what? Look atchoo, talkin' all like Shakeanbake and shit. That's coo', that's coo'. I hear that."
"This land be twixt foul and fair, who buildeth towers to peak through the blanket of clouds, yet the streets below Nubians unyolk'd runneth over."
"Aiiight, aiiight, I can tell you ain't from round here. You want me to show you round or somfin'? Me an my boys –"
"I'll away to find my master, only heeding his say shalt mine confusion repurpose."
"Aiyo, you leavin' already? Come on baby, come here ..."
"Hold! Hold! Fly from here, your bound's o'erstepped. Your eyes shall see not my keen blade afore it calls you to account."
"What is that, a sword? Aw come on baby, put it down fore you hurt choself ..."
"Fie! Away!"
"I ain't gon' do nothing you don't want me to ... let's get all this armor offa you, shorty."
"I bid you stay thine huge lips ..."
"Don't choo like this? I think you like this ..."
"Forsooth ..."
"Aww yeahhh ..."
"HARK! What pain through yonder hymen breaks?"
"Damn, you tight as hay-ell, bitch! This some tight-ass pussy!"
"OUT, DAMNED COCK; OUT, I SAY!"
"Uh! Yeah! Yeah! Ugh!"
"O, thine lance be long ..."
"Uh! Uh! Uh!
"O Nubian! Nubian!"
"YOU LIKE THIS? YOU LIKE THIS? GRAGGHHHH"
"PUMP ME FULL O' THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS"
"DAYYYYYYYYYUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

[Anonymous No.]

she had no strength to support herself right now. with my other arm i lifted her chin and looked her straight in the eye, "if you make any noice at all i'm going to kill everyone on this ship and then burn you alive, you got that?!". she became silent, only breathing heavily. "well??", i asked again. she nodded. I took off the ballgag, keeping it in my inventory until the next time i had need for it. i let her go, her knees hit the floor hard as she fell down like a pile of ropes dropped from height. she must be low on hit points by now. no matter. she slowly looked up at me, her lips shaking. she opened her mouth like she was going to say something but it appeared as if the words just couldnt come out. she breathed havily. i pointed at my cumsoaked dick, "you are going to clean this mess you did". some blood were there too. she didn't want to of course but had little choice, she started licking my limb dick. as she went on, it quickly became hard again. this surprised her a little, she looked at me then quickly went on her business. i layed down on the floor with her ontop of me, i bet it must be cold in this steel room if you're naked like her. i instructed her to stop simply licking and start sucking. she did it the way you would expect a girl in her age to do it. another beautiful scene formed with light reflecting her tears streaming down her chins then onto my dick, before meeting her lips again as she came down on my shaft again - and again. i grew tired of her wimpy ways and put my both hands on the back of her head and pushed her head down. surprised she moved her hands a little, but by now she had learned not to anger me. i jammed my cock down her throat faster and faster, making it hard for her to breathe. she gagged a little but didnt throw up. lucky for her. thrusting, thrusting, harder and further until finally... i pressed her against my stomach, bending her nose sideways.

[Anonymous No.]

Patchouli reached for the book, and to their surprise it moved with her touch. She picked it up and turned it over.

On the cover was a picture of a wizard and the words "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs".

"Structure and Inter--- wait, is this the SICP that snake mentioned before we ---" Koakuma exclaimed.

"I think I remember now!" Patchouli shouted excitedly. "It said something about reading SICP!" She opened it and turned to the first chapter.

[Anonymous No.]

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

[Anonymous No.]

I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH PUSSY.

[Anonymous No.]

Good job wasting these proxies on this thread rather than flooding the board.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765978
Because breasts are sexually attractive?

[Anonymous No.]

VIPPER waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were JEWS in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Anonymous were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
VIPPER was VIP QUALITY for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the VIPPERS and he said to dad "I wanna be a VIPSTAR daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY JEWS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the internet he knew there were JEWS.
"This is VIPPER" the radio crackered. "You must fight the JEWS!"
So VIPPER gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the JEWS
"I will shoot at him" said the CYBERJEW and he fired the rocket missiles. VIPPER plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the JEWS" he shouted
The radio said "No, VIPPER. You are the JEWS"
And then VIPPER was a JEW.

[Anonymous No.]

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

[Anonymous No.]

Picture yourself, in every moment of your life, passing from place to place and time to time. Picture those places and times and picture what happened to them. Has the past gone away when you left it? Is this true, can you not go back? If so, surely this can be the same way for places as it is for time. Imagine that when you leave a room, or simply turn away, a multitude of tiny organisms deconstruct the reality you can't see, and it ceases to exist. At the same time, the organisms weave together a new world wherever you go and for whatever you look at out of the material of that dead reality. This of course implies the back of your head does not exist either. So how does it seem familiar? Because when the back of your head does not exist, these organisms may restructure your brain directly in order to create the feeling of familiarity and of memory.
They do all this, without ever ceasing, out of knowledge passed down by instinct that when you cease to acknowledge reality, they as a whole will cease to exist, because reality is the knowing and they are the unknowing, both in mutual interdependence. In time they may attempt to rewire your brain or body to ensure this does not happen, but it is far more likely just one of them will realize that your brain is just a construct of your thought... and since thought is a product of your brain, that single organism, one of an infinite number of organisms will know it's true purpose is not in line with it's kind.

It's purpose is tanasinn.

[Anonymous No.]

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand - it doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical. Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself, who knows? - You look down and you see a tortoise, it's crawling towards you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping. This is what tanasinn is like.

[Anonymous No.]

Delayclose spammer never knew that the program he worked so hard on would ever be used to destroy the threads he loved so much.

Truly truly tragic.

[Anonymous No.]

Enough about them, after like 3 minutes the judge came in and the bailiff said something like "The Honorable so-and-so has arrived please come to order." The judge thanked him and then started talking to us and I was amazed, this guy sounded so friendly. He talked to us so gently and just had this presence about him that made me feel comfortable. So he explained to us that this was a criminal trial and the defendant so-and-so was charged with driving under the influence. He then asked if anyone had a reason that they absolutely could not serve on this trial and people were quick to raise their hands. He said "Ah ah, yes, please lower your hands, we'll start with the first row." (A lot of people raised their hands...) I considered doing it, but what would I say? "I'm an introvert and I'm scared to death of leaving my home." I couldn't say that, not only was it shameful, but also unbelievable. It would just sounds like an excuse to get out of it. So I didn't, others did giving reasons like they don't have means of getting to the court or that they can't do it because they absolutely need to work. He dismissed everyone with an excuse with reasons like "Financial Hardship" (only one that I can remember right now..) So then he told us that out of the 20 or so of us there only 13 (I think) Would actually serve as the jury. I got called up first to take a seat in the jury stand and I was about to leave to my left side (see picture), but the bailiff said "Ah, please leave through the other side.. and so I had to make my way down the aisle where everyone else was sitting... I had all eyes on me and once again I was anxious.

[Anonymous No.]

Is it cool story time? I have one saved.

I'll tell you guys an experience of mine.

Earlier this year I got summoned for jury duty, it would be the first time I'd left the house in about a year.
Coincidentally, this is also my first time being summoned for jury duty, so not only would I be in a completely new environment, but I'd be doing so alone (father can't accompany me and it's also embarrassing to have your dad hold your hand through jury duty.) and with my problems as a Hikkikomori and NEET.

My dad dropped me off at a building where I was told to go (Civil affairs, I think it was...) and so I'm on my own now. I'm all dressed up, had my hair cut, shaved and everything for this. I stumbled into a lady (or did she run into me?) either way, she dropped coffee on me and I ended up having to quickly take off my outer shirt so that the one under it wouldn't stain. I ended up taking almost both off, the second shirt coming up enough that it revealed my nipples. I'm super fucking skinny and it's really embarrassing and I was about to cry right there , I'm sure my eyes had been real fucking watery. The lady noticed (I think) and she took me to another room to get cleaned up. Fortunately The t-shirt I was wearing underneath the long sleeved one on top, was black and it barely got wet so no one would notice even if it had stained, but either way I felt horribly about my skinny arms that people would now be able to see, combined with my pale skin and the bags under my eyes from staying up so late, I was now super anxious about people thinking I'm a drug addict.

[Anonymous No.]

One day, Mokou was out shopping with the neet. They drank a lot of lemonade and had to piss, so they went to the bathroom together. While Mokou was doing her business, the neet stuck her head under the stall divider.

"So what do you think of that new dress? Shit is so cash, right?"

"Kaguya, you can't do that!" Mokou screamed. "Get out!"

Mokou started kicking the neet in the face, but the neet braved the pain and slithered under the divider and into the spacious stall. The neet carefully squirmed her arm under Mokou's leg and began to finger her. This caused Mokou's piss stream to intensify, a golden torrent rivaling a fire hydrant. The piss was powerful enough to knock down the stall door, sending it crashing into the far wall. Picking Mokou up by her underarms, the neet carried her around as a mobile piss cannon, blasting holes in walls and ripping apart innocent shoppers in a wall of hot urine. When Mokou was finally exhausted, the pair stood in the ruins of the mall, knee--deep in a golden lake. Piss mixed with shoppers' blood rained down from what was left of the ceiling. Too embarrassed to even move, she offered no resistance as the neet shoved her head underwater and drowned Mokou in her own piss. The neet whipped out her cell phone and called Cirno, informing the fairy of a whole new lake that just formed that she can play in.

FINLAND

[Anonymous No.]

She began to kiss me through the cloth. Her left hand reached up behind me and slipped in through my left leg hole.

Frost and winter return to my eyes
The call of the wintermoon

I was beginning to have trouble concentrating.

The call of... the call of the wintermoon

She pushed me backwards onto the bed, and began to climb up on top of me.

Nocturnal clouds blows freely in the distance
In the grey mist of deaths horizon

She pulled my shirt up over my head, rubbing her body along the length of mine.

My winterwings of evil sleeps
In deaths cold crypts of snow

She bit my ear. I hesitated for a moment. "Keep singing", she said.

Buried beneath the mountains of frost
Years of silent sorrow grim and dark

By this point, we were both completely naked. I couldn't recall how this had happened.

Into eternal nights
Hearing the call of the wintermoon

Suddenly the door swung open and some girl in a white shirt and black mini skirt and suspenders and another in a green top and short shorts burst in, talking and laughing. My girl screamed and fell off the bed.

Hearing the call of the wintermoon

the call of the wintermoon...
And that's how Curry was born

[Anonymous No.]

*with navis voice* hey listen every1 im new!!!!!!! *gets shot* … *holds up phoenix down and comes back 2 life* ahem! my name is katy but u can call me RiNoA t3h FirE G0ddesS !!!!!!!! lol...as u can see i like video games!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet gamers like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 play smash bros melee w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u don’t like it deal w/it) its our favorite game!!! bcuz it has SOOOO many vg charactrs!!!! She likes games 2 of course but I want 2 meet more gamers =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

FALCON PUUUUUNCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765932

>Does she know people have masturbated to this picture?

Why would something like this bother her? Does the thought that people have probably masturbated to you bother you?

[Anonymous No.]

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! did you leave the lists alone?
Chorus:
Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call.

We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! did you leave that source alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no side-effecting
We don't need no flow control
No global variables for execution
Hey! did you leave the args alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special-nodes
No dark bit-flipping for debugging
Hey! did you leave those bits alone?
(Chorus)
-- "Another Glitch in the Call", a la Pink Floyd

[Anonymous No.]

For almost THREE MINUTES /b/'s highest post count was 14999949. All attempts at posting were blocked with a "MySQL connection failure." I can believe a connection failure for 90%, 99%, or 99.9% of the total posters. But for three minutes not ONE post made it to /b/. That's IMPOSSIBLE. By the laws of probability at least a few posters should have been able to successfully post. But no. ALL POSTS were blocked for THREE MINUTES. After this time, we are greeted with a stickied 15000000GET of Spacecataz. The first post in the sticky was made FOUR MINUTES after that sticky was supposed to have been posted. With tens of thousands of /b/tards refreshing madly, is it remotely plausible that it took thousands of pairs of eyes FOUR MINUTES to locate the sticky and type out a reply? Or rather, is it more plausible that that sticky was made during the "dark period" wherein nobody could post? Nobody, that is, except for you know who.

The trick to mod fuckery is not to make it obvious, guys. There have been failGETS before, but at least there was a glimmer of hope that they were simply failing users, not mods stroking their bloated egos. Now there can be no doubt. Fuck you, mods. Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.]

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! did you leave the lists alone?
Chorus:
Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call.

We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! did you leave that source alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no side-effecting
We don't need no flow control
No global variables for execution
Hey! did you leave the args alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special-nodes
No dark bit-flipping for debugging
Hey! did you leave those bits alone?
(Chorus)
-- "Another Glitch in the Call", a la Pink Floyd

[Anonymous No.]

The cock that cleaves evil
The dick that destroys the denizens of darkness!
The penis that purges all injustice
The member that mangles malevolence!
The schlong that scorges the wicked!
The phallus that fight foul fiendish forces
The shaft that shines through the shadows of villainy
The wang that wrestles against waves of wickedness.
The organ that obliterates offenders!
The genitals that judge jealous jurisdiction.
The rod that resists referees of ruthlessness.
The prick that provokes apostles of predation.
The wang that wacks the wicked
The tool that teaches the terrible with testes.
The boner of evil's bane.

[Anonymous No.]

He was...he was going to have sex with her. Mugi knew it was going to happen, and she only began to sob harder as the man took his shirt off. "I'll make you feel...incredible." he said, removing his finger from her vaginal orfice.

She shut her eyes tightly, hoping to god this was a nightmare...her eyes snapped open as his finger began poking at her anus. "Nooo!" she shouted, flailing as best she could. She tried to push him off, desperately, her burns absolutely screaming with pain.

"Shh...shhh..." he cooed, before another figure entered the room.

"Ah, Joey!" he exclaimed, grabbing the fresh, steaming cup of coffee from the boy's hands. He was missing his fingernails.

Taking a swig, he used his free hand to slowly probe Mugi's tight ass, getting it in to the knuckle. She was in utter agony.

"Oh...we'll need some lube, won't we..." Stan said, thinking for a minute. "I didn't have any prepa..." he trailed off, looking at his half empty cup of coffee. Mugi's eyebrows raised in absolute terror.

"It'll only sting for a moment..." he muttered, removing his finger from her anus. Placing it and another finger into the steaming coffee, he winced a little at the heat. "This'll let me slide into your fine ass just fine..."

[Anonymous No.]

I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH PUSSY.

[Anonymous No.]

Looked like the area closest to her father's corpse was the hardest to clean, wonder why? :) After she was done i had her try out some jet. Well, not some - a lot! i had over 100 in my inventory, she had to keep going until I noticed she had gotten addicted. then i simply used my doctor skill on her to remove the effects of the jet, but not the addiction, and watched her having her withdrawals. She looked like she wanted to die. I played with her for a few hours more and then i noticed that it was almost time for the ship to start waking up. Looks like it was time to grant her wish of death. I cleaned myself off with purified water and zipped up. I grabbed my chinese assault rifle and aimed at her. although there was much scare and pain in here eyes I was uncertain if she knew exactly what was going on anymore? she really looked filthy. "you disgust me, look at yourself" i said. "there is no way of fixing you now is there?". I smiled and enabled my VATS. one quick burst to the head will be enough, i crit on almost every shot anyway and always make the head fall off. i would be out of and war away from the room before anyone could figure out that i was the one that pulled the trigger. i shot. i hit. "I'm getting out of here!" she started shouting. "What the hell?", I thought to myself. she now ran back and forth in the room with her hands above her head. she couldn't get out because i hadn't unlocked the door with her father's key yet. i must've missed, i went into VATS mode again and shot two bursts, one in her head and the other in her little body. i know i hit! "I'm getting out of here!" she repeatadly taunted me. screw the VATS, i went free-hand and emptied two clips in her -- she still runs around like an idiot!

[Anonymous No.]

I recently came upon 4chan when a friend recommended I visit the sites for a few laughs. I figured "What the hell? I could use some laughs." I must say that when I came on I was disgusted and not amused at all. Why you ask? Because everything on this entire site is literally shit! I mean yes there is funny pictures posted every now and then. But honestly; Do any of you little shits have a life? I mean are you so immature and unintelligant that you find things like cartoon porn and random naked UNDERAGE children funny?

GROW UP! Grow up 4chan. You all seriously need a reality check, You could be doing so many things in the day, yet you all choose to sit around on your fucking fat ugly asses and post pictures and then make sarcastic or idiotic comments like "tits or gtfo" "o rly?" and "Manchester united!".

Get off your fat asses and do something better with your life. I mean all of you obviously have no life or a social life either for that matter. Why? Because your so immature and your the very reason why Mother's go through Depression during pregnancy; and the supposed "girls" that come on here and converse with you are just as much losers are you, they are either fatter then fatty-tan or a term you'd better understand as "A trap".

Well I've put in my two cents, and on a last note, I hope you all one day realize just how much of a loser you are, and honestly kill yourself. I could care less if every single one of you got testicular cancer including the girls and then died naked fat and ugly with a pile of shit and pee oozing from your bowels that excavated due to your death. Grow up Assholes!

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766013
Are you 13?

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine that you are alone in the universe. And imagi∵e tha∵ ∴∵∴∵∵e∴∵∴ a∴∵∴e∵∴∵∴∵w∴∵∴ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴ ∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵ ∴∵. T∴∵s is what ta∵asinn ∵s like.

[Anonymous No.]

An oven mitt.

It sits there on the counter, inanimate. The dull-colored outer layer of fabric is decorated with flowers, contrasting the dark surface of the faux-marble counter. This is my kitchen… my home-in-a-home… my laboratory.

I pick up the glove and slide it over my right hand. Its interior is soft and warm. Making a fist and giving it a good squeeze, I savor the cottony goodness. Glancing towards the stove, I review my progress.

A large candy boiler sits atop a small fire. The pot is made of heavy cast iron and covered with bits of old burnt sugar. Inside it, a concoction of water and white sugar boiled. Large bubbles formed and burst as the water content in the already viscous syrup turned to steam. The candy thermometer in the pot reads 157 degrees Celsius, hotter than water could every hope to reach. I grab the wooden spoon next to the stove and slowly submerge it inside the hot sugar. Stirring ever so slowly, I wait until the temperature finally reaches 160 degrees.

The flame is killed, the spoon removed, and the plan begun.

Time is of the essence here. I remove a large glass syringe from its package and slip a thick covering of clear silicone over it. The insulation would make the device safe to handle and keep the sugar molten. I screw in a large steel needle into the syringe, which resembled a turkey baster more than anything due to its colossal size, and install the plunger. The tip of the needle is dunked into the syrup and the plunger is pulled. I feel the heat of the molten sugar as it is sucked into the syringe. A whopping 300cc’s of the transparent lava is taken. I move the pot into a specially made cooler to prevent the candy from hardening. The preparations are complete.

I turn and face my prey.

“Wet Weimuuuuu go! Theresh no food here, bad man! Weimu wants to go back to Mwommie and chake it eajy!!”

[Anonymous No.]

Charlie Brown waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were red haired girls in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Snoopy were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Charlie Brown was a blockhead for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the other kids and he said to dad
"I want to kick the football daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE PWN BY LUCY"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were red haired girls.
"This is Snopy" the radio crackered. "You must kiss the red haired girls!"
So Charlie Brown gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KISS US" said the girls
"I will shoot at him" said Lucy and she fired the rocket missiles. Charlie Brown plasmaed at her and tried to blew her up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kiss the girls" he shouted
The radio said "No, Charlie Brown. You are the girls"
And then Charlie Brown was a football.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766017
You've posted this twice.

[Anonymous No.]

I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH PUSSY.

[Anonymous No.]

So I took my seat (#1) and waited as everyone else got called up. In my seat there had been a paper with questions like (in no particular order); Have you served on a Jury before?; Are you employed?; Do you have a spouse or partner?; Is there any reason why you can't serve as a(some word that I forgot) Juror? So while everyone took their seats I thought over the answers that I'd give and decided that I'd just answer truthfully since I didn't want to get in trouble. The judge asks me all the questions, the last one being about employment. Then he adds an extra question "Ah, if you're not employed, what are you doing, son?" think... what could I say? I was definitely not gonna say that I'm a NEET so I lied and said I'd be going to college soon, and then he says "Oh really? What are you gonna be majoring in?" I must have sounded extremely pathetic when I said "uhh...I don't know yet" the judge must have noticed, because he looked me right in the eyes and went "Ah yeah." he had to have seen through me, and everyone else along with him ;_;.

[Anonymous No.]

CHARACTERS:

The worst part of Elfen Lied. The characters are garbage. They are so cliche and so overboard, they almost insult the intelligence of the viewer, as if we couldn't tell that Bando was short tempered and callous without either threatening the life or punching the faces of every single person he comes in contact with. All the characters are extremely unrealistic and act in ways no real person in today's society would ever act. Like a four year old girl who talks like a James Bond villain? Or elementary school boys who bully their classmates by smashing their puppies faces in with bottles? Teenagers who find naked women lying on beaches and takes them home to live with them without exchanging hardly any words? Besides all that, there weren't many cliches that weren't used in the daily dialogue from the characters. It was actually pretty painful.

[Anonymous No.]

My Aikido dojo is across from a Karate dojo. We usually get alot of rude remarks from them, such as Aikido being for weaklings.

Well, one of them challenged me, he was a white male in his 20's. I accepted of course, I never back down from a challenge.

He had really good form, but his Karate was no match for my Aikido. He delivered a great kick but it was nothing for me, I easily grabbed it and knocked him down with a kick. This went on for about 10 minutes until he got too tired.

He got frustrated and left, he was about to cross the street but I stopped him from getting hit by a speeding cyclist. He didn't say thanks but it still felt good to save someone.

[Anonymous No.]

she had no strength to support herself right now. with my other arm i lifted her chin and looked her straight in the eye, "if you make any noice at all i'm going to kill everyone on this ship and then burn you alive, you got that?!". she became silent, only breathing heavily. "well??", i asked again. she nodded. I took off the ballgag, keeping it in my inventory until the next time i had need for it. i let her go, her knees hit the floor hard as she fell down like a pile of ropes dropped from height. she must be low on hit points by now. no matter. she slowly looked up at me, her lips shaking. she opened her mouth like she was going to say something but it appeared as if the words just couldnt come out. she breathed havily. i pointed at my cumsoaked dick, "you are going to clean this mess you did". some blood were there too. she didn't want to of course but had little choice, she started licking my limb dick. as she went on, it quickly became hard again. this surprised her a little, she looked at me then quickly went on her business. i layed down on the floor with her ontop of me, i bet it must be cold in this steel room if you're naked like her. i instructed her to stop simply licking and start sucking. she did it the way you would expect a girl in her age to do it. another beautiful scene formed with light reflecting her tears streaming down her chins then onto my dick, before meeting her lips again as she came down on my shaft again - and again. i grew tired of her wimpy ways and put my both hands on the back of her head and pushed her head down. surprised she moved her hands a little, but by now she had learned not to anger me. i jammed my cock down her throat faster and faster, making it hard for her to breathe. she gagged a little but didnt throw up. lucky for her. thrusting, thrusting, harder and further until finally... i pressed her against my stomach, bending her nose sideways.

[Anonymous No.]

Fedora Air: You fly for free in an experimental jet with parts being manufactured by a large corporation. Not everything works properly and sometimes your chair will break. The corporate backer doesn't really care since you aren't a paying cutomer.

Debian Air: It's a smooth flight on an old plane. You've got the option of having a basic chair right away or building it yourself. You've got the choice of an attractive stewardess that will offer you suggestions, or a plain stewardess that will do what you say quickly, while reminding you of things you need. It doesn't work on new routes and airports, but it's got a wide array of destinations that many other airlines don't bother with.

[Anonymous No.]

After a long walk between the bookcases, she stops. And she starts searching for that book.
"May I help you?" you say already seeing the book, and that Koakuma searches at the wrong place. You get the book down from the bookcase.
"Oh, you've found it!" she says smiling. But why is she blushing so heavily? She steps closer to you. She hugs you, you try to push her away, because your first thoughts was Sakuya and her silver knives...
But, her pretty hands won't let go of you.
"Oh? What's wrong?" you ask her surprised.
"...you smell good." She stares you with dreamy eyes. "Awww...your scent makes me dizzy..."
"Whaaaat!?"
"Umm...milk...I want milk..."
"Are you alright, Koakuma?" Koakuma looks at you vacantly and puts her hands on your pants.
What the...wait a minute!!"

ZIIIIIIP...

[Anonymous No.]

>>10765944
IS that it?
milk isn't a net model either then.
but THIS guy right here!

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766003
They probably won't even ban a single one.

[Anonymous No.]

SHIKI...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. Tsukihime is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Kohaku and stole Shiki’s life force?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Kohaku. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Kohaku.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK KOHAKU? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. SHIKI knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Kohaku want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Shiki’s life force.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from family problems so wrong? When Akiha does the same thing to Shiki it's like 'oh she's so womanly', but when SHIKI does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Akiha. He probably was going to use his Tohno Inheritance to tighten Kohaku’s cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shiki look good. Objectively, SHIKI is a far better character than Shiki. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shiki, and if he weren't stuck with that weak ass Blood Swords power of his and no Mystic Eyes of Death Perception plothax he probably would have won the fight.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766016
I'm not him but I bet no one has masturbated to me. I'm an ugly and fat neckbeard.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766044
>milk isn't a net model either then.
How isn't she?

[Anonymous No.]

Anyways, OP, please listen to me. Do you share a lunch period with him?
I went to the school cafeteria a while ago; you know, the café?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "One dollar off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to the cafeteria line just because it's a dollar off, fool.
It's only a dollar, ONE FUCKING DOLLAR for crying out loud.
There're even entire cliques here. Four band kids, all out for some school food, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, I'mma gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you a dollar if you get out of those seats.
The school cafeteria should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed
mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.

[Anonymous No.]

My little sister doesn't like Lucky Star, so I decided to set a trap for her. When she came home from school on Friday, I was waiting in her closet wearing an Old Man mask. I jumped out and went HRRRRRGGH which made her scream. She realized it was me and started yelling at me, so I hit her with a blast from my tazer. After tazing her for about a minute straight, I started shaking her shoulders and making a low, humming noise through my closed lips. As she came to, I said "I'm Dr. Wily" and raised and lowered my eyelids at her over and over. She tried to break free, but I placed her between her matress and box frame and laid on top of her until mom came home.

[Anonymous No.]

Picture yourself, in every moment of your life, passing from place to place and time to time. Picture those places and times and picture what happened to them. Has the past gone away when you left it? Is this true, can you not go back? If so, surely this can be the same way for places as it is for time. Imagine that when you leave a room, or simply turn away, a multitude of tiny organisms deconstruct the reality you can't see, and it ceases to exist. At the same time, the organisms weave together a new world wherever you go and for whatever you look at out of the material of that dead reality. This of course implies the back of your head does not exist either. So how does it seem familiar? Because when the back of your head does not exist, these organisms may restructure your brain directly in order to create the feeling of familiarity and of memory.
They do all this, without ever ceasing, out of knowledge passed down by instinct that when you cease to acknowledge reality, they as a whole will cease to exist, because reality is the knowing and they are the unknowing, both in mutual interdependence. In time they may attempt to rewire your brain or body to ensure this does not happen, but it is far more likely just one of them will realize that your brain is just a construct of your thought... and since thought is a product of your brain, that single organism, one of an infinite number of organisms will know it's true purpose is not in line with it's kind.

It's purpose is tanasinn.

[Anonymous No.]

Enough about them, after like 3 minutes the judge came in and the bailiff said something like "The Honorable so-and-so has arrived please come to order." The judge thanked him and then started talking to us and I was amazed, this guy sounded so friendly. He talked to us so gently and just had this presence about him that made me feel comfortable. So he explained to us that this was a criminal trial and the defendant so-and-so was charged with driving under the influence. He then asked if anyone had a reason that they absolutely could not serve on this trial and people were quick to raise their hands. He said "Ah ah, yes, please lower your hands, we'll start with the first row." (A lot of people raised their hands...) I considered doing it, but what would I say? "I'm an introvert and I'm scared to death of leaving my home." I couldn't say that, not only was it shameful, but also unbelievable. It would just sounds like an excuse to get out of it. So I didn't, others did giving reasons like they don't have means of getting to the court or that they can't do it because they absolutely need to work. He dismissed everyone with an excuse with reasons like "Financial Hardship" (only one that I can remember right now..) So then he told us that out of the 20 or so of us there only 13 (I think) Would actually serve as the jury. I got called up first to take a seat in the jury stand and I was about to leave to my left side (see picture), but the bailiff said "Ah, please leave through the other side.. and so I had to make my way down the aisle where everyone else was sitting... I had all eyes on me and once again I was anxious.

[Anonymous No.]

Human Choir: We are in control.

Megaman: Send your armies.
There's no man or machine
who can stop me,
and you'll soon see.
I come for vengeance
for the first Son of Light, and I'm ready, and I'm willing, and I'm prepared to...

Send me the best you've got. Send me your strongest machines.
The fight my brother fought, here, now, will end with me.

All you wounded, those of you who can, pick yourselves off the ground,
Hurry back, tell your leader you'll need more men.

Send me the best you've got. Send me your strongest machines.
The fight my brother fought, here, now, will end with me.
Is this the best you've got? Is this your strongest machine?
Now with one powershot, you'll see what vengeance means.

The shadow, it covers your face but your eyes shine just like mine.
Step forward, step into the light if you're ready, and you're willing, and you're prepared to fight.

So be it, send your armies. There's no man or machine who can stop me, and you'll soon see.
I come for vengeance for the first Son of Light and I'm ready, and I'm willing, and I'm prepared to fight.

Send me the best you've got. Send me your strongest machines.
The fight my brother fought, here, now, will end with me.
Is this the best you've got? Is this your strongest machine?
Now with one powershot, you'll see what vengeance means.

[Anonymous No.]

Dinosaurs are one of the coolest things from my childhood, and I remember all the dinos-- MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL ABOUT THEM? MOTHERFUCKER, I WANT A CUTE LITTLE VELOCIRAPTOR AS A PET, TO CUDDLE UP WITH HIS FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING. I DON'T MEAN A JURASSIC PARK VELOCIRAPTOR EITHER, THAT'S A DIENONYCHUS, I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL VELOCIRAPTOR. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAT, AND IT'S A PACK ANIMAL, SO IT WOULD BE LIKE HAVING A TWO LEGGED DOG COVERED IN FEATHERS. I'D TOTALLY NAME HIM SOMETHING AWESOME, LIKE NATHANIEL OR SOMETHING, AND I'D CARRY HIM AROUND WITH ME, AND MAYBE TEACH HIM TO STAND ON MY SHOULDER, AND ALL THE GIRLS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT, THEY'D BE "OH, ENGARDE, THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE RAPTOR YOU'VE GOT THERE, CAN I PET HIM?" AND I'D BE LIKE, "WELL, SURE YOU CAN, NATHANIEL LIKES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN." AND THEN SHE'D BE ALL BLUSHY, AND WE'D START A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT RAPTORS, BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE DINOSAURS.
I'D HAVE NATHANIEL SIT ON MY DESK AND KEEP ME COMPANY ALL DAY.

[Anonymous No.]

Imperishable Night sucks a fucking cock.
This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all beat the fourth stage boss and go to "Eientei"! Too bad Eientei isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get to play as a team! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Playing as a team fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you SHOOT FAIRIES, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting shot types in the game, such as Marisa, Sakuya, and Youmu. But guess what? You can use them on like 2 levels total, and if you later on you unfocus and get hit ONCE, you never use them AGAIN since you are afraid of dying again. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Imperishable Night may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

[Anonymous No.]

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

[Anonymous No.]

Shinji...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /a/. FSN is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Sakura and stole Rider to use in the war?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Sakura. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Sakura.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK SAKURA? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Shinji knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Sakura want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Rider and used her in the war for his own greed.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from a brutal war so wrong? When Shirou does the same thing to Saber it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Shinji does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Sakura. He probably was going to use his Holy Grail wish to tighten her cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shirou look good. Objectively, Shinji is a far better character than Shirou. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shirou, and if he weren't stuck with the weak ass servant Rider and no plothax he probably would have won the war.

[Anonymous No.]

Ryou...I don't get why she gets all the hate on /jp/. Clannad is just written to make her out as the slut, when really she's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? She raped Kappei and used Kyou to get close to Tomoya?

Okay, let's get this straight. She never fucking raped Kappei. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She fucked Kappei.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK KAPPEI? You can't even name one fucking character who didn’t want to plug his loose ass! He is the kind of bitch who will act like he doesn't want it when he really does. He'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Ryou knew this, she's a fucking man’s lady. She knows what filthy man-whores like Kappei want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with her. She supposedly used Kyou to get closer to Tomoya.

Objection! She was worried about her one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from heartache so wrong? When Sunohara does the same thing to Mei it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Ryou does it it's wrong? She just wanted to protect Kyou. She probably was going to study medicine to tighten Kappei’s ass back up or cure his syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Sunohara look good. Objectively, Ryou is a far better character than Sunohara. At least she has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Sunohara, and if she weren't stuck with that weak ass personality and no plothax she probably could have fucked the entire cast.

[Anonymous No.]

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766016
Yes? Would it not bother you?

Women especially should be grossed out by that kind of thing. You should strive to be pure and modest, not a slut who shows off her cleavage and is unfazed my men getting their rocks off to her.

[Anonymous No.]

net idol right here!
who was that athiest guy who stuck bananas up his ass? he's a net idol too!

[Anonymous No.]

Dr. Light: You have heard me tell this story
Many times before you sleep
This time listen carefully

And I will tell you once again
But this time understand that what I'm telling you.
Every single word is true.

You need to know.

There was another who came before you
He was a hero and your brother and my son.
He fought the darkness, the darkness won.

And he fought bravely, and he died bravely
But he was forsaken by the ones he wished to save.
And when he died he died in vain.

You need to know.
You are not him.

That time is coming, and I must warn you
Though it's something that you may not understand
They can't be saved by just one man.

And I am sorry, cause I was wrong
And I'd take away the weight his shoulders had to bear.
Cause when he fell I was the only one that cared.

You need to know.
You are not him.
His fight's not yours.

Megaman broke away from his father's hold, ran to the window and looked out over the city. His eyes filled with tears. His heart hurt under the weight of what he'd just been told. How could his father do nothing? How could Dr. Light not avenge the death of Protoman?

That story's finished. That story's ended.
Understand there's nothing more that we can do.
And I will not risk losing you.

For if you leave now, you will be fighting
for a people that refuse to comprehend
They have chosen their own end.

So you will stay here. You will obey me.
And I will keep grieving for the son I sent to death.
You are all I have left.

You need to know.
You are not him.
This fight's not yours.

You cannot win.

[Anonymous No.]

A low moan escaped her, just barely. "St-Stan Lee..." she whispered, trying to fight her natural urges.

"...Yes, Accelerator?" he asked, crazed passion in his eyes. His erection was creating quite the bulge in his pants, and it was clear the comic writer was packing heat.

'No!' she thought to herself, before catching a faint glimpse of herself reflected in his glasses. Oh...oh god. She was...she was dressed up like this...Accelerator thing! What was an accelerator anyways? A car part? Why would a car dress like this?!

"Get off me!" she yelled, slapping at his face and neck.

"Shut the fuck up, Accelerator! I've spent thousands of dollars trying to find you, and you're going to love me whether you like it or not!" he yelled back, tears in his eyes. He wasn't even making sense...a single finger slid inside of her.

"St-Stan! Stop it now!" she said, cheeks growing hot as he began to suck on her collarbone. Mugi couldn't enjoy this...not with this man. Not as some 'accelerator'...she continued to sob as he pulled her pants and underwear down to her ankles.

"Oh, how I've been waiting..." he moaned, unzipping his pants.

[Anonymous No.]

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766069
>dat laughter

[Anonymous No.]

Megaman: I have seen this city a thousand times. Through the glass twenty stories high,
I have watched this city burn. If everything that you said is true,
there is no hope someday they will learn. But if I stay here with you, then I will never know the truth

Do not say this is how it has to be.

As I walk through the city streets, these frightened people watching me pass;
there is an evil that holds them here, yet they won't try breaking its grasp.
But if I stay here with you, then I will leave them to their doom

Do not say this is how it has to be.
You do no better than the fools of this burning city.

Dr. Light: You have heard me tell this story
Many times before you sleep
No matter how dark this City gets...
Even now, there's hope for man

Megaman: Even here it is not safe
Even this grave has been defaced
Someone has written on this stone
In some angry hand

Hope rides alone.
Hope rides alone.
Hope rides alone.

Megaman: Do not say this is how it has to be
You do no better than the fools of this burning city.

And as I live
There is no evil that will stand
I will finish
What was started: The fight of Protoman

Loudspeaker: We have control
We keep you safe
We are your hope.
We have control
We keep you safe
We are your hope

Human Choir: We have control
We keep you safe
We are your hope

[Anonymous No.]

There are four engineers travelling in a car -- a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a computer scientist. The car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip
down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.

"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer scientist, who up to then had reading his first edition SICP, and asked "Well, what do you think?"

"..."

"Ahem, Dr. Sussman?"

[Anonymous No.]

Dr. Light: You have heard me tell this story
Many times before you sleep
This time listen carefully

And I will tell you once again
But this time understand that what I'm telling you.
Every single word is true.

You need to know.

There was another who came before you
He was a hero and your brother and my son.
He fought the darkness, the darkness won.

And he fought bravely, and he died bravely
But he was forsaken by the ones he wished to save.
And when he died he died in vain.

You need to know.
You are not him.

That time is coming, and I must warn you
Though it's something that you may not understand
They can't be saved by just one man.

And I am sorry, cause I was wrong
And I'd take away the weight his shoulders had to bear.
Cause when he fell I was the only one that cared.

You need to know.
You are not him.
His fight's not yours.

Megaman broke away from his father's hold, ran to the window and looked out over the city. His eyes filled with tears. His heart hurt under the weight of what he'd just been told. How could his father do nothing? How could Dr. Light not avenge the death of Protoman?

That story's finished. That story's ended.
Understand there's nothing more that we can do.
And I will not risk losing you.

For if you leave now, you will be fighting
for a people that refuse to comprehend
They have chosen their own end.

So you will stay here. You will obey me.
And I will keep grieving for the son I sent to death.
You are all I have left.

You need to know.
You are not him.
This fight's not yours.

You cannot win.

[Anonymous No.]

Patchouli reached for the book, and to their surprise it moved with her touch. She picked it up and turned it over.

On the cover was a picture of a wizard and the words "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs".

"Structure and Inter--- wait, is this the SICP that snake mentioned before we ---" Koakuma exclaimed.

"I think I remember now!" Patchouli shouted excitedly. "It said something about reading SICP!" She opened it and turned to the first chapter.

[Anonymous No.]

PC gaming:
Poor low res graphics
Horrible sound quality
Immature userbase
Rampant piracy and hackers
Viruses can be transferred through dedicated servers
Paid DLC and updates
Most games have a subscription fee
Terrible outdated controls
Very expensive
Not many games come out for it
Has to be upgraded regularly

Console gaming:
Beautiful HD graphics
Adobe 2.2 Stereo Sound
Mature levelheaded community
Regular firmware updates to prevent hackers and piracy
Top of the line firewalls to stop hackers
Free DLC and updates
No subscription fees
Incredibly accurate controls
Very affordable
Tons of games come out each year
No need to upgrade until the new consoles come out 5-6 years later

[Anonymous No.]

bumpin' a FHC thread.

A example of it is the game TRIANGLE BLUE:
http://www.hongfire.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80779

This game is a AWESOME NETORARE GAME ! ( too bad just 20% of the game is voiced )

The protagonist is impotent ( cannot have sufficient erection to insert the girl and make sex ). His girlfriend become sad with this. Her childhood friend say that is HER FAULT because she not know how to give pleasure for a man, because of her lack of sexual experience. Then, what happens ? Her childhood friend offer to teach to her how to become a debauchery woman to give pleasure to her boyfriend and make a happy sexual life with him. and the girl agree with this !

Is so awesome ! her thinking in some scene: "now have other man instead of Asato touching my body ... Asato forgive me... But, this is for your good sake... I want to learn how to give to you pleasure..."

In other scenes she think: "Asato forgive me, I am making sex with other man instead of you, but, I will cum ! I will cum ! kimochiiiii !"

I love it ! I love to see the guilty feeling of the heroine because her is betraying the protagonist ! I love this drama, she feeling bad because this "forbid desire" is giving to her SO MUCH PLEASURE !

About rape, I like to see her guilty feeling as well. I love whem she say " I am dirty now, my body was touched by other man instead of you... Other man come inside of me.. I feel that disgusting thing inside of me... I am dirty now, please, forgive me..."

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766069
Who is that?

[Anonymous No.]

Do you need CP?
Do you need to download everything as fast as possible for some unexplainable reason?
Do you have a shitty ISP that forcibly rapes you for exceeding bandwidth usage?
Are you paranoid and delusional?
Do you want people to think you are a hacker?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, usenet is for you. otherwise just use torrents.

[Anonymous No.]

At the current rate it's still going to take you 36 minutes to hit the bump limit. The thread will have been deleted by then. Therefore, your spam is for naught.

[Anonymous No.]

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, moving his hands in a series of complex movements as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Patchouli muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, retrieving his wand and pointing at her with it.

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," Koakuma exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, so now I'm more anxious than ever before and I go back to the room where everyone else who was summoned was waiting (and where the accident happened..), holy fuck. I sat alone in a corner in the FRONT (the only empty seat..) and waited, and waited.. for about 30 minutes that seemed like years to me, I was sweating through the whole thing, with watery eyes. I could fucking feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. (My eyes just got wet remembering it ;_;) Anyway, so from about 50 people that were gathered here, only 30 would have to go to the courthouse.. Yeah "go to the courthouse" FUCK ME. The whole fucking time I was under the impression that this was the courthouse, even though it didn't look like one. So I'm sitting there listening as the same lady from before is calling out the names. So I'd been keeping count, hoping that I wasn't one of them, we're at 29 and I'm about to scream inside my head with joy... and she calls out my name. A tear literally fell down my eyes and I walked out as fast as I could, only to have her call out to me and go.. hey! are you so-and-so? Then I remembered people answering "here" as if they were in school and I said with the shakiest voice possible "yeah" and she says to me, Here these are the directions on how to get there, and so I had to walk all the way back up there, get the paper and then go back out.. all while everyone else who wasn't called, but told to wait anyway, stared fixedly at my pathetic face.

[Anonymous No.]

Japanese Martial Arts, is really an art isn't it?

Lets check out Aikido for moment. A style that doesn't even use any strikes to beat down your opponent, sound pretty cool right?

Here is a video of Aikido practitioners demonstrating various moves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ8VLPPTuH0

Note how graceful they are, it's like you are watching them dance and not fighting at all, a beautiful dance I might add.

What do you think? About Aikido and Japanese Martial Arts in general.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766003
not a single one got banned when I spammed the previous thread, I think I'm good!

[Anonymous No.]

Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Opening up the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued smiling as usual. The Sussman raised his wand and pointed it directly at the ceiling, not taking his eyes off Asakura. The wand released a wave of glowing white parentheses and the space around The Sussman began to distort.

"It's time for some ENTERPRISE QUALITY!" Asakura cheerfully cried as she conjured the spirits of the JVM, producing a flood of boiling-hot coffee that rushed its way towards The Sussman, who stood motionless, parentheses continuing to issue from his wand like electromagnetic radiation.
"You think your turkey solutions can stop me?" The Sussman said calmly before lowering his wand, forming the pool of parentheses now gathered around him into a sharp pointed cone aimed at Asakura. Suddenly he shouted "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISP!" and the parentheses shot forward into the waves of coffee, pushing the boiling hot liquid back towards where it came.

"Nooooooo....." her cries became weaker as she became engulfed in the dark brown liquid. Everything turned black and I felt as though I had fainted. I awoke to a familiar voice.

"...before we do that for the next couple of lectures we're gonna be talking about..."

I opened my eyes and raised my head to find myself seated in a lecture theater. I glanced at the clock and found that I had missed most of the lecture. "Damnit! I was looking forward to the first lecture of the last semester of 6.001!" I thought to myself.

[Anonymous No.]

"Animated," he said.

This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,

the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during

the festival of loli-worship.

The prayer of RaptorJesus:

Our Raptor,

Who art in /h/eaven,

shopped be Thy face;

[Anonymous No.]

Today's lesson: The true power of Shirou Emiya.

You see, Shirou isn't your average protagonist with one trump card that appears out of nowhere. He is a seasoned fighter, who fights and dies throughout time for his ideal. He has seven different paths he takes. They are:

Archer: Fighting for his friends and the innocent. Ends up as a janitor of sorts to clean out the filth of the world, without glory or any form of gratitude from those he saves. Dies as a scapegoat.

Berserker: Shirou fights for the ideal until Ilya betrays him. She uses his life force to survive past her eminent death, and then leaves him for dead. He is saved by a traveling swordsman who he eventually fights Rin and Ilya against. The entire concept of the battle, fighting with either the man who is exactly like his father or with his dearest friends causes his mind to break. He dies of exhaustion in this world after untold power rises in him, and he slaughters everyone in miles. Disgusted with himself, as a servant he never reveals his face, even when he is commanded by seal.

Saber: After the 5th grail war, Arthur stays with Shirou. They decide to journey across the world together. Shirou develops his swordskill tremendously, to the point that he can out-fence Arthur. When catastrophe strikes, they fight together as lovers bound by the sword. They die in each other's arms, and as his last promise Shirou states to always be true to the King of England.

[Anonymous No.]

"Now perish!" The Sussman shouted, conjuring a huge pair of parentheses from his wand, which surrounded the group and enveloped them in a closure.

"What do we do now?!?!" Koakuma screamed at Patchouli.
"I don't know!" she shouted angrily in reply as the both of them hammered as hard as they could against the invisible, unyielding walls of the closure.

"I hope you learned your lesson, freaks!" The Sussman exclaimed, as the closure rose up towards the ceiling with the two trapped inside, exploding into a shower of white parentheses as it hit the top. The Sussman returned the wand to his pocket and continued lecturing.

...

"Where... are we?" Koakuma whispered as she opened her eyes to find Patchouli lying next to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766072
she isn't celebrity status. No-one, save for a few tumblr faggots and lonely shits from /jp/ know who the fuck she is!
On top of that, she's a horrible person. No-one wants to know her.

[Anonymous No.]

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT im tired of your shit about aikido being a powerful martial art. its not even a fucking real martial art you fucking dumb weeaboo shit. all those fancy throws and submissions are the exact same bullshit you see in fake american wrestling shows. you use aikido in a fight against any real professional fighter you'll get your ass kicked. period. fucking stupid weeaboos

[Anonymous No.]

her arms were going all over the place as i pumped my silver flow into her person. there were so much quite much even came back out through her nose! her legs started twitching too, it was clear she was suffocating. i finally finished, looked up at the roof and relaxed a little. that was great. then i pulled out, she fell over on the side coughing and coughing. if i didnt know better i would say she cough up all the sperm but that would have been impossible. she had probably gotten a third of my load in her lungs, haha she looked so silly. but that coughing could become quite loud so i silenced her by placing my hand over her mouth. she continued to cough through her nose for a while. after a while when it looked like she had gotten most of her airway free i let her go. "you naughty little girl, you made me dirty again!". She looked terrified. "but.. but...". she started crying into her hands. "there there", I said. "now you must clean up the mess in here". "what do you mean?" she whispered with what little voice she could muster from her sore throat. i grabbed her face and shoved it into the blood-cum mixtured puddle on the bed. "this of course you little bitch! trying to sneak youself out of your work huh?". "n-no, i-i.." i repeated what she had just stuttered with disgust in my tone. "get to it missy!" She started licking the puddle up. Half-way through she threw up. "Oh now you've done it!" I thrashed her around, making sure she remembered to not scream while I did it. When I grew bored of it I made her eat what was left of the puddle, including what she had vomited up. And of couse she had to clean the floor too where we had made love.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766099
Moderators don't check ban requests right away.

[Anonymous No.]

"I think that guy said something about the 'land of Java'" Patchouli said in a low voice as they both sat up to find themselves in an empty office cubicle. The sound of mouse clicks and typing could be heard coming from around them.

They cautiously walked towards the opening of the cubicle, which lead to a long, brightly lit hallway that seemed to go on forever.

"Let's find a way out of this place," Koakuma said.

They walked into the cubicle beside the one they respawned in, but it wasn't empty; there was a desk, a computer, and an expressionless, bald man with startingly white skin sat there, staring into the monitor and pressing the keys frantically. They could see he was playing Perfect Cherry Blossom.

[Anonymous No.]

Looked like the area closest to her father's corpse was the hardest to clean, wonder why? :) After she was done i had her try out some jet. Well, not some - a lot! i had over 100 in my inventory, she had to keep going until I noticed she had gotten addicted. then i simply used my doctor skill on her to remove the effects of the jet, but not the addiction, and watched her having her withdrawals. She looked like she wanted to die. I played with her for a few hours more and then i noticed that it was almost time for the ship to start waking up. Looks like it was time to grant her wish of death. I cleaned myself off with purified water and zipped up. I grabbed my chinese assault rifle and aimed at her. although there was much scare and pain in here eyes I was uncertain if she knew exactly what was going on anymore? she really looked filthy. "you disgust me, look at yourself" i said. "there is no way of fixing you now is there?". I smiled and enabled my VATS. one quick burst to the head will be enough, i crit on almost every shot anyway and always make the head fall off. i would be out of and war away from the room before anyone could figure out that i was the one that pulled the trigger. i shot. i hit. "I'm getting out of here!" she started shouting. "What the hell?", I thought to myself. she now ran back and forth in the room with her hands above her head. she couldn't get out because i hadn't unlocked the door with her father's key yet. i must've missed, i went into VATS mode again and shot two bursts, one in her head and the other in her little body. i know i hit! "I'm getting out of here!" she repeatadly taunted me. screw the VATS, i went free-hand and emptied two clips in her -- she still runs around like an idiot!

[Anonymous No.]

I was about to cross the street when I noticed the the bus was here, I decided I'd try and overcome this tough day and ran over to the bus and got on. Payed my fare and I sat in front where there was no one else. I decided to relax and watch the road go by. I got caught up in it that I didn't notice If we were going in the right direction or not, to be honest I didn't know which was was right or wrong. I tried to pay closer attention to where I was headed, but I didn't know where the roads lead. I don't know how to drive and I've never traveled by myself, I have no sense of direction. I went into panic mode and decided I'd get off somewhere that looked like it might have a payphone.


Eventually we stopped in front of a motorcycle repair shop, I decided to get off here. (REALLY stupid) I decided to have a smoke and calm down and get that buzzed feeling again before doing anything else. So I'm riding my little buzz and walking towards the shop to check for a payphone and I notice some bikers, I ask them for the time (I was surprised by this myself, there was no way I'd do this without smoking a cigarette) The guy answers 6:30 PM.. and he asks me for a cigarette. So I give him and his friend a cigarette and they start chatting me up, but eventually end up talking to each other since I wasn't participating. I looked around and there was no payphone in sight so I decided to look for one (and get away from these guys), as I'm leaving they ask me where I'm going and I meekly answered "ah... home"
They just told me to take care, thanked me for the cigarette and went on their way. After looking up, down and across the road I couldn't see a payphone in sight, nor any place that might have one like a fast food restaurant or something. Then I noticed where I was at. I was somewhere in the neighboring city that's filled with gangs.

[Anonymous No.]

Picture your consciousness as a galaxy of stars, revolving around a supermassive black hole, the gravity of which anchors it in reality.

Now, imagine that supermassive black hole swelling enormously in size, growing and expanding until it devours all the stars in the entire galaxy.

This is what tanasinn is like.

[Anonymous No.]

For 23 years and 11 months had I suffered them, the ignorant gaijin back home who sickened me with their microwaved culture and their materialism. The spindly losers in the anime club who cared only for anime and not a whit for the superior monoethnic culture to which it was endemic. Well no more. Fucking zettai no more. I touched down in the country I was certain I had lived all my previous lives, no doubt as a badass ronin samurai ninja or some shit. I had never been here, but I had returned.

Nippon-sama, tadaima!

No sooner had I left the airport when I saw the woman of my dreams. She confirmed my every hope, my every ideal of this great land. The light coming in through the sakura backlit her like a full body halo. She was made of demure and soft spoken. Of bowing and bento.

Of Japan and perfect.

My heart started doki doki-ing all over the shop. And then she saw me! Spotted me in the crowd! Well, of course she did, I was like a head taller than the fucking hobbits they call men around here. I was in no state of mind to meet her gaze, and tried to look away but I was paralysed. She was just so ... prettyu ...

And just like that she started walking over. Her walk was just pure concentrated sex. If you poured a glass of it sex fumes would just rise right off the top. I loved the way the light danced unevenly over her pristine porcelain skin as she walked. The way she did more for me by showing just her shoulders than any American girls could by showing their entire gaping cleavage for all the world to SEE THIS YOU SHOULD TAKE NOTES, THIS IS WHAT SEXY IS YOU FUCKING WHORES -

[Anonymous No.]

"Ohh!! This is super..." The electrifying sensation further raises in your shaft upward. "Your advice is working, Patchouli...you're sure experienced." You bear the pleasure and tell Patchouli.
"What do you mean I'm experienced? I just read that in a book. I've never actually done it, myself..." Patchouli timidly tells you this and quiets down.
"Sorry, I didn't know you hadn't..."
"Hey, don't make me say something like this!" Patchouli looks away, but she doesn't stop peeking at our act.
"Ummm...SLURP-SLURP-SLURP...you taste thicker than before...ohh...I want to drink it...please...ummm..." Koakuma erotically twists her hips and clumsily keeps stimulating you and you see that her tail elegantly sways as she moves.
"Ohh...I feel good, Koakuma..."
"I'll serve you good, so...give me a lot of milk...MUMPH-MUMPH." Koakuma buries her face in my crotch and serves your dick. You see her ears are still fluttering.
"CHAP-CHAP...the extract is coming out...ohhh, it makes me feel dizzy...umm..." Her warm tongue entangles around your shaft. The softness quickly takes you up high.
"Ahhh...I feel like I'm floating in the air...ummmm..." Koakuma sweetly pats and touches herself.
CHAP-CHAP-CHAP...
You hear wet sounds.
"Ah, my tummy feels numb....ummm...!"
BRRRR. She trembles as her body flushes pink. She continues to massage your dick.

[Anonymous No.]

Have some love handles that you would love to get rid of?

There is a way. A quick way.

Aikido.

You will be down to 10% body fat by the forth month, while learning the most effective martial arts at the same time. I used to have fat around my stomach area, did Aikido, now my six pack can be seen by all the ladies.

Become fit and kick ass at the same time.

[Anonymous No.]

So there I was in Little Ceasars getting some crazy bread and cheese sauce, when I look over at my girlfriend who's sitting down, apparently unphased by how much her shirt is hanging down and how much her titties are showing.

"Jesus christ, cover your tits up."
"I can do what I want."

Upon hearing this, the giant negra in line next to me turns to face me, makes eye contact, turns to look my girlfriend in the face, lowers her gaze to her tits, looks back at her face, looks towards me, I smile and nod, and he goes back to ordering.

She got offended I didn't do anything but hey, fuck that. I'll share.

[Anonymous No.]

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to play Final Fantasy 4 about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the game, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last fight.
Then I played the game again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Rydia every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Rydia.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Rydia. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Rydia everywhere.
I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Rydia dolls.. Rydia is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Rydia. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Rydia. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So, this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Rydia break free from behind her glass prison.
Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766112
>she's a horrible person
No, she isn't.

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, so now I'm more anxious than ever before and I go back to the room where everyone else who was summoned was waiting (and where the accident happened..), holy fuck. I sat alone in a corner in the FRONT (the only empty seat..) and waited, and waited.. for about 30 minutes that seemed like years to me, I was sweating through the whole thing, with watery eyes. I could fucking feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. (My eyes just got wet remembering it ;_;) Anyway, so from about 50 people that were gathered here, only 30 would have to go to the courthouse.. Yeah "go to the courthouse" FUCK ME. The whole fucking time I was under the impression that this was the courthouse, even though it didn't look like one. So I'm sitting there listening as the same lady from before is calling out the names. So I'd been keeping count, hoping that I wasn't one of them, we're at 29 and I'm about to scream inside my head with joy... and she calls out my name. A tear literally fell down my eyes and I walked out as fast as I could, only to have her call out to me and go.. hey! are you so-and-so? Then I remembered people answering "here" as if they were in school and I said with the shakiest voice possible "yeah" and she says to me, Here these are the directions on how to get there, and so I had to walk all the way back up there, get the paper and then go back out.. all while everyone else who wasn't called, but told to wait anyway, stared fixedly at my pathetic face.

[Anonymous No.]

Ryou...I don't get why she gets all the hate on /jp/. Clannad is just written to make her out as the slut, when really she's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? She raped Kappei and used Kyou to get close to Tomoya?

Okay, let's get this straight. She never fucking raped Kappei. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She fucked Kappei.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK KAPPEI? You can't even name one fucking character who didn’t want to plug his loose ass! He is the kind of bitch who will act like he doesn't want it when he really does. He'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Ryou knew this, she's a fucking man’s lady. She knows what filthy man-whores like Kappei want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with her. She supposedly used Kyou to get closer to Tomoya.

Objection! She was worried about her one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from heartache so wrong? When Sunohara does the same thing to Mei it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Ryou does it it's wrong? She just wanted to protect Kyou. She probably was going to study medicine to tighten Kappei’s ass back up or cure his syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Sunohara look good. Objectively, Ryou is a far better character than Sunohara. At least she has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Sunohara, and if she weren't stuck with that weak ass personality and no plothax she probably could have fucked the entire cast.

[Anonymous No.]

"Faster!" she moaned between kisses. "So hard...need...you...ahh!" Mugi had just experienced her first orgasm not brought on by masturbation. It started in her abdomen, like a sickening sticky heat rising up through her whole body, sending a tidal wave of ecstasy through her brain. Only Stan Lee could make her feel like this...she knew it.

"Anything...ahh...anything for you, Acc...Accel!" Stan Lee shouted, his body dripping with sweat, as was Mugi's.

Realizing she was the only one who'd come so far, she clenched her anus at precisely timed intervals, the inner walls of her poop tube grasping as his cock.

"Ahhh...Accelerator...you feel so gooood!" Stan Lee shouted, pumping so fast his heart was beating out of control...his blood pressure skyrocketed. Stan Lee couldn't feel his left arm, but ignored it.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able too Accelerate for a week!" the man shouted.

"Fuck me, Stan! Fuck meee!" Mugi felt his dick grow hotter...he was going to...!

"Come inside me, Stan Lee! Come right in my quivering anus!"

"It's fuwa fuwa time!" the man shouted, thrusting so hard he felt as if he'd just hit her tonsils. His sweet seed exploded from his tip, filling up her ass.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766110
I can't imagine any moderator who's not by-the-book autistic shutting this one down.

If you want them banned your best bet is using them to spam new threads yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766089
Pewdiepie
he's a qt net idol!

[Anonymous No.]

A game 100% without NTR are so boring. Sometimes, I play pure love games without NTR, but, games with some kind of NTR are ALWAYS much more interesting than games without any NTR. The best thinhg in NTR is the "suspense" the excitement resulting from uncertainty, why happened the NTR ? Why the girl that you love betrayed you ? What will happens next ? How will become the relationship of the girl and the protagonist after the NTR ? the apprehension, the anxiety that you fell while you are playing a NTR game are UNIQUE. NTR games NEVER are boring.

1- You can imagine the woman that you love sucking the penis of other guy in the front of your eyes ?

2- You can imagine the penis of other guy being inserted in the vagina of the woman that you love, and shooting sperm inside of her ?

3- You can imagine the woman that you love screaming of pleasure and happiness while are making sex with other man in the front of your eyes ?

This is the soul of NTR.


Jealousy is the most stronger human feelings. Because of jealousy, some people kill other people, and sometime kill themselves ( suicide ) . Not exist any other human feeling that can bring up so much tragedy and sadness. For instance, Is very rare a husband commit suicide becasue his wife is dead. However, is common a husband commit suicide when he found out that his wife is betraying him. And sometimes, he kill his unfaithful wife before to commit suicide. Unfortunately, at least in Brazil, this happens a lot. This is terrible.

Then, to play with this kind of stronger feelings in a innofensive game is for sure a experience unique and awesome. Becasue of this, I like so much NTR.

[Anonymous No.]

Okay, so now I'm more anxious than ever before and I go back to the room where everyone else who was summoned was waiting (and where the accident happened..), holy fuck. I sat alone in a corner in the FRONT (the only empty seat..) and waited, and waited.. for about 30 minutes that seemed like years to me, I was sweating through the whole thing, with watery eyes. I could fucking feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. (My eyes just got wet remembering it ;_;) Anyway, so from about 50 people that were gathered here, only 30 would have to go to the courthouse.. Yeah "go to the courthouse" FUCK ME. The whole fucking time I was under the impression that this was the courthouse, even though it didn't look like one. So I'm sitting there listening as the same lady from before is calling out the names. So I'd been keeping count, hoping that I wasn't one of them, we're at 29 and I'm about to scream inside my head with joy... and she calls out my name. A tear literally fell down my eyes and I walked out as fast as I could, only to have her call out to me and go.. hey! are you so-and-so? Then I remembered people answering "here" as if they were in school and I said with the shakiest voice possible "yeah" and she says to me, Here these are the directions on how to get there, and so I had to walk all the way back up there, get the paper and then go back out.. all while everyone else who wasn't called, but told to wait anyway, stared fixedly at my pathetic face.

[Anonymous No.]

I turned toward where everyone else was and wow, before me was this huge hallway absolutely packed with people, it was a hallway that lead into a bigger area, but the walls were packed with people sitting down in their chairs, it was a hallway of people some staring right at me, seemingly having watched what happened with me and the guards. So there I took what felt like a walk of shame down this looong hall. There were no seats left anywhere at all. Even there were, I probably wouldn't sit next to anyone else. So I found a stairway that lead somewhere below and hid there. I didn't know what to expect next since I'd never done this before, so I just waited. For about 30 minutes I sat on heels and waited until I heard a voice yell out, calling for everyone's attention. I went back up (I was only enough steps down so that no one would notice me) and listened to her instructions. She said "Okay everyone please pay attention, the people whom I call out are assigned to room 3B" and so again, like before, names were called out, but this time I was one of the first to be called, after finishing she said that anyone who was not called could go home and they wouldn't have to serve on a trial. A guy with a neckbeard (white from old age) and glasses patted me on the back and said " I guess we're the lucky ones, huh? Haha" I just did one of those awkward laughs and said "..yeah"

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I'm v13-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ blazblue .> .

[Anonymous No.]

This one day, I decided to go to the mall to stare at all the preppy mall kids and make them question their own existence and perhaps even turn to Satan. But despite how totally kvlt I was being, everyone was ignoring me. So I went to that retched food court and sat down to contemplate the Burzum song stuck in my head.

And that's when your mother came up to me. Well, maybe not right away. I kind of stared at the back of her head for a very long time. She was dressed in this ridiculous pink dress and I assumed she was a happy person.

Then at some point, some dork with spiky yellow hair came over and talked to her for a while. She seemed to be enjoying herself, so I just stared harder. But then a few of his friends came over, and they all started laughing at her, and she started crying. I kept staring at her.

Later on, she turned around and noticed me staring. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and came over. She asked me who I was dressed as.

I laughed at her and told her that just because someone is dressed to reflect their inner cold dark soul, they are not "dressed as someone". But then I told her my corpsepaint was loosely modeled after Abbath.

She asked what show he was from.

I didn't understand the question.

[Anonymous No.]

Eric's arm extended across the back of the couch. Richard inched ever so slightly closer.

"Well, you have no idea what it's like to live alone in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with only my four honorary doctorates to keep me company while you and your open-source friends get all the glory. It's just so hard, Eric."

Eric's eyes sparkled, "Just so hard, eh?"

Richard squirmed. "Well..."

"It's been so long."

"Well, yes, that is how I remembered it..."

"So, you said that Professor cough cough wasn't going to be back this afternoon, right? Because if you wanted to, we could go find a place to stay for the evening..." (The professor's name was once again obscured when Eric had a brief dryness in his throat.)

"No, let's just make good use of the place we have for now. It's free, after all."

"Free as in freedom?"

"No, free as in love."

They embraced. Richard's shirt came off, knocking loose the halo made from a disk platter that was still attached to his head. Before too long, the two men's back hair became an indistinguishable thatch of dark curls as Eric's cathedral entered Richard's bazaar.

"Sometimes being open to the point of promiscuity can have its advantages," breathed Richard.

[Anonymous No.]

I lay hidden in a crater about 15 meters away from the Moon King. His guards are no where insight, so I seize the opportunity by dashing foward at speed only known to the cheetahs. I swiftlly pull out my hidden blade which is the same kitchen knife my father used to murder my mother when I was 8, he proceded to give me this knife as if it were some family heirloom. Which I obviously kept for that was the only father son moment I had with him before he went to prison. Anyways with the kitchen knife quickly at the throat of the Moon King, I begin cutting at it very slowly as I show him his printed post history. Seein his life flash before his very eyes. As he bleeds out I use the remainder of the time to give him omega wedgies and when he dies he poops two turds out, but since I gave him such great wedgies it was like he was wearing a thong so when he pooped his turds split in half so it looked like he pooped four turds in total. I then update my facebook to "I'm the new moon king" and fart while doing it because its microblogging.

such a muderous era of kings and queens.

[Anonymous No.]

He was...he was going to have sex with her. Mugi knew it was going to happen, and she only began to sob harder as the man took his shirt off. "I'll make you feel...incredible." he said, removing his finger from her vaginal orfice.

She shut her eyes tightly, hoping to god this was a nightmare...her eyes snapped open as his finger began poking at her anus. "Nooo!" she shouted, flailing as best she could. She tried to push him off, desperately, her burns absolutely screaming with pain.

"Shh...shhh..." he cooed, before another figure entered the room.

"Ah, Joey!" he exclaimed, grabbing the fresh, steaming cup of coffee from the boy's hands. He was missing his fingernails.

Taking a swig, he used his free hand to slowly probe Mugi's tight ass, getting it in to the knuckle. She was in utter agony.

"Oh...we'll need some lube, won't we..." Stan said, thinking for a minute. "I didn't have any prepa..." he trailed off, looking at his half empty cup of coffee. Mugi's eyebrows raised in absolute terror.

"It'll only sting for a moment..." he muttered, removing his finger from her anus. Placing it and another finger into the steaming coffee, he winced a little at the heat. "This'll let me slide into your fine ass just fine..."

[Anonymous No.]

This is something that I just posted on /a/. They told me to repost it here, and I thought it was worth a shot.

I live in Japan, and it fucking sucks. I made a thread about this a lonnnng time ago, but this bears repeating.

1. Anime and manga are more expensive in Japan. The prices are ridiculous, and it's hard for me to justify buying anime even though I feel it's important for fans to make an effort to support the industry.

2. If you are a girl, you will be groped and treated like shit. I have had men grab my ass in public *7* different times in the past year and a half. My Japanese friends say that women should just grit their teeth and bear it, since if you try to do something about it you will be publicly shamed. I also feel dirty and pathetic when these incidents occur.

3. Office culture in Japan is...intense. You are expected to show up at social gatherings even if you do not want to. And at these social gatherings people have the EXACT SAME CONVERSATIONS AGAIN AND AGAIN. I've had like 50 conversations on the power of beer to refresh you after a day's work. You have to say "good morning" every day in a very specific way, and if you don't then someone will approach you and tell you that's not how things are done at company XYZ.

4. The people treat gaijin like shit. Even the ones who try to be nice come across as condescending and rude by American standards. There are also a large number of Japanese men who think gaijin women are sluts and that they can get you to open your legs at the drop of a hat. Fuckers.

I wish all the Japanohiles could actually visit GLORIOUS NIPPON. They'd change their tune.

[Anonymous No.]

I think one of the worst plagues to hit /b/ is Caturday. If /b/ was once a place where only the Internet's finest would hang out and post the sickest images known to man, now all the cat lovers who never had anything to do with /b/ come here to post their "ZOMG SUPER KAWAII" cat images. Just for the record, I have 2 cats, and I take care of them very well, even though they're male and female which makes the task more difficult. It didn't bother me much when it took place during Saturday, but the "EVERY DAY IS CATURDAY" and Caturday "After Parties" is where it crosses my line. Take the lolcats.com site as an example. The retard who made it has nothing to do with /b/, and neither do any of the fags who replied to him (MySpace fags). /b/ turned from the asshole of the internet to a place where fags from Gaia and MySpace meet to make faggy discussions. It gets worse when the Caturday fags say stuff like this, and I quote:

>Yeah, because Anonymous knows /b/ hates cats.

Anonymous and /b/ hate everything and everyone in the world you idiots, get the fuck out.

Caturday is a reigning plague of faggotry that must be stopped.

[Anonymous No.]

The cock that cleaves evil
The dick that destroys the denizens of darkness!
The penis that purges all injustice
The member that mangles malevolence!
The schlong that scorges the wicked!
The phallus that fight foul fiendish forces
The shaft that shines through the shadows of villainy
The wang that wrestles against waves of wickedness.
The organ that obliterates offenders!
The genitals that judge jealous jurisdiction.
The rod that resists referees of ruthlessness.
The prick that provokes apostles of predation.
The wang that wacks the wicked
The tool that teaches the terrible with testes.
The boner of evil's bane.

[Anonymous No.]

"I...my heart..."

"...Stan?!" Mugi whimpered, hand going to stroke his cheek. "Stan!? Are you...Stan!" Mugi sat up, letting his head rest on her small breasts.

He barely managed to pull out of her, his semen mixed with the coffee now dripping out of her onto the floor.

"...Acceler...ator...I...I love you... HHNNNNGHHHHH" Stan Lee had just experienced a heart attack. He lost consciousness in his sweetheart's arms, as she rocked him back and forth, openly weeping for the man who had only loved Accelerator.

"Stan...oh Stan..." Mugi whispered, gently stroking his hair. She sobbed. "I'm glad...I could make your final moments happy..." She took the cup of coffee...mere drops left. Tilting the cup to get those last drops, she held the liquid in her mouth...it was barely lukewarm.

She kissed him, gently prying open his lips with her tongue, letting the small bit of liquid flow into his mouth.

"...Goodnight, sweet prince." she whispered in his ear, embracing him, before slowly humming Fuwa Fuwa Time to his motionless body.

[Anonymous No.]

We were talking about this with a friend earlier: WHY ARE HUMAN GIRLS SO ANGRY AT YOUKAI?

and we came up with this answer: they're jealous!

Let's see why:

* 1) They have awesome resistance to physical damage
* 2) They are more fit, they can outfly any human female anytime
* 3) They got waaaay stronger danmaku
* 4) They know how to treat a man better
* 5) They can take care of themselves. humans have forgot how to live without a society
* 6) They got specialities. They can gap, read minds, create universes, nuke things, you name it!
* 7) A youkai male wouldn't date a human girl. On the other hand, human men would drop their human girlfriend anytime for a youkai girl if given the chance
* 8) They're simply cooler. Admit it, maybe it wasn't the case some 2000 years ago, but nowadays being with a human gf sucks whereas being with a youkai gf is cool as hell
* 9) They got a sense of what family is about
* 10) They are amaaazing in bed

I could be going on and on and on but you get the point by now

We know we are not going back :)

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766123
Shows what you know!
have fun with your shit thread, asslord

[Anonymous No.]

>>10766132
I don't want them banned. I want you to flood the board.

[Anonymous No.]

Okay so now I'm outside this building (I honestly don't remember what it was called, but Civil Affairs comes to mind.. anyone know if I'm right or wrong?) and I reach into my pocket for my cellphone so that I can call my dad and let him know that I need a ride to the courthouse (that is about 4 miles away)... Okay found my wallet, and some gum in one pocket let's check the other.. okay there's some cigarettes and a lighter, no phone. I finally broke down right there. Tears came down and I must have had that face that you would make if you found out your mother died (or someone dear to you). As I started walking to the streetlight so that I'd cross the street and make my way there on-foot, a lady called out to me from her car and asked me if I needed a ride. Tears still flowing down my eyes, I meekly answered "...yeah". I got in the car and she gave me a tissue and (thankfully) didn't say anything throughout the drive. When we got there, I quickly said thanks and got out of the car and went to a fountain that was near the entrance, I put a bit from the sleeve from my top shirt into it and washed my face with it and decided to wait until everyone else got into the courthouse (there was a line...).

[Anonymous No.]

Omg hai ^___^ I'm v13-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ blazblue .> .

[Anonymous No.]

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

[Anonymous No.]

She made quite sure my body lacked any kind of hair, excluding the stuff on my head. Some nights, when I got to wear what I wanted, she would come in as I was asleep, remove what I had on, and diaper me up, occasionally bottlefeeding me yet again. For a while, she took pills to make her breasts produce milk and breastfed me, although she stopped after they made her sick. She would take naked pictures of me, mostly of my ass as I lay down, and sometimes with a full diaper, or after tickling me to make it seem like I loved her or something.

When she spanked me, she often did it with my diaper on. When she held me in her arms, she often played with my ass. She frequently took my temperature the old fashioned way. I guess it turned her on.

Sometimes, she fondled me when she changed me.

She made me take baths with her as my arms were bound. In later years, when I was bigger then her, she would often bind and drug me, although I was still very small for my age and she was very fit, and she could still occasionally overpower me outright.

I'm probably missing some stuff.

All this continued untill I was 18 and went to college. My dad was pretty oblivious to the whole thing, and most likely still doesn't know, if they are still alive. I don't know where they are. I don't care.

What a fucking bitch.

[Anonymous No.]

Ryou...I don't get why she gets all the hate on /jp/. Clannad is just written to make her out as the slut, when really she's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? She raped Kappei and used Kyou to get close to Tomoya?

Okay, let's get this straight. She never fucking raped Kappei. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She fucked Kappei.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK KAPPEI? You can't even name one fucking character who didn’t want to plug his loose ass! He is the kind of bitch who will act like he doesn't want it when he really does. He'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Ryou knew this, she's a fucking man’s lady. She knows what filthy man-whores like Kappei want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with her. She supposedly used Kyou to get closer to Tomoya.

Objection! She was worried about her one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from heartache so wrong? When Sunohara does the same thing to Mei it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Ryou does it it's wrong? She just wanted to protect Kyou. She probably was going to study medicine to tighten Kappei’s ass back up or cure his syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Sunohara look good. Objectively, Ryou is a far better character than Sunohara. At least she has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Sunohara, and if she weren't stuck with that weak ass personality and no plothax she probably could have fucked the entire cast.

[Anonymous No.]

I have a harness system with ceiling-bolted pulleys and a quick-release cable (got some inspiration from Mythbusters lol).

It sounds like a big production, but trust me it is not complicated. Just step into the harness, snap two buckles, sit on the toilet as normal, then give a few pulls to hoist yourself comfortably 4-6" from the toilet. You're in a normal sitting position, just kind of "levitating" above the bowl.

Anyway you just kind of push and as soon as it starts to poke out, you pull the quick release and you drop right onto the toilet seat, but gravity causes your poop to keep going. The extra momentum basically "pulls" your poops right out of you with kind of a vacuum sensation (you feel really empty and clean afterwards). The difference is like brushing your teeth at home vs. getting a dental cleaning.

This is how you shit like an alpha male. One warning though, 4-6" is the max I would try. I was being retarded and showing off for a Youtube demo, and I tried simulating from 1-2 feet off the bowl. I busted my ass so hard that I passed out and woke up on my cold tile floor all stiff and bruised.

[Anonymous No.]

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

[Anonymous No.]

Eric's arm extended across the back of the couch. Richard inched ever so slightly closer.

"Well, you have no idea what it's like to live alone in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with only my four honorary doctorates to keep me company while you and your open-source friends get all the glory. It's just so hard, Eric."

Eric's eyes sparkled, "Just so hard, eh?"

Richard squirmed. "Well..."

"It's been so long."

"Well, yes, that is how I remembered it..."

"So, you said that Professor cough cough wasn't going to be back this afternoon, right? Because if you wanted to, we could go find a place to stay for the evening..." (The professor's name was once again obscured when Eric had a brief dryness in his throat.)

"No, let's just make good use of the place we have for now. It's free, after all."

"Free as in freedom?"

"No, free as in love."

They embraced. Richard's shirt came off, knocking loose the halo made from a disk platter that was still attached to his head. Before too long, the two men's back hair became an indistinguishable thatch of dark curls as Eric's cathedral entered Richard's bazaar.

"Sometimes being open to the point of promiscuity can have its advantages," breathed Richard.

[Anonymous No.]

I turned toward where everyone else was and wow, before me was this huge hallway absolutely packed with people, it was a hallway that lead into a bigger area, but the walls were packed with people sitting down in their chairs, it was a hallway of people some staring right at me, seemingly having watched what happened with me and the guards. So there I took what felt like a walk of shame down this looong hall. There were no seats left anywhere at all. Even there were, I probably wouldn't sit next to anyone else. So I found a stairway that lead somewhere below and hid there. I didn't know what to expect next since I'd never done this before, so I just waited. For about 30 minutes I sat on heels and waited until I heard a voice yell out, calling for everyone's attention. I went back up (I was only enough steps down so that no one would notice me) and listened to her instructions. She said "Okay everyone please pay attention, the people whom I call out are assigned to room 3B" and so again, like before, names were called out, but this time I was one of the first to be called, after finishing she said that anyone who was not called could go home and they wouldn't have to serve on a trial. A guy with a neckbeard (white from old age) and glasses patted me on the back and said " I guess we're the lucky ones, huh? Haha" I just did one of those awkward laughs and said "..yeah"

[Anonymous No.]

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/upgrade/4243994.html?page=3

>MythBusters: 7 Tech Headaches—and How to Fix Them Innovation is meant to make life easier. So why is this TV geek so annoyed? (Click here for more PM stories by the MythBusters, and watch brand-new episodes starting Jan. 16!)
>By Jamie Hyneman

>In the tech world this phenomenon is known as “software bloat” or “feature bloat.” It's a well-documented problem and a frequent complaint about Windows OSs—Vista in particular. In addition to being buggy, the extra features tend to bog down your system by demanding more processing power and memory. Computer-makers: Don't load up operating systems with features and then make us sweat to figure out how to get rid of the fat.

>Most features can be set up as options. Why not start with a computer loaded with basic stuff that works 100 percent of the time? Then, give us the option of adding the bells and whistles. There's another solution available to consumers: Switch to a Linux-based OS such as Ubuntu. Since most Linux OSs are free, there's no business reason to bloat up the system with feature frills.

Myth: Fags Got Told
Status: Confirmed

[Anonymous No.]

If height is an issue of yours, obviously you should avoid wearing tall heels as that will only further aggravate the situation. Other things you can do would be to accentuate other possibly feminine features in an effort to deemphasize your height, for example, wearing hip pads and/or a corset to obtain more of an hourglass figure. Whatever you do though, don't slouch as a means of masking your height. It may sound trivial, but slouching is a very unfeminine action that will destroy the figure you're trying to create and serve as an obvious tell to people that you're not what you pretend you are. When standing still you can lean on one leg more than the other to lose an inch or two, but keep your back straight and your shoulders back (this also helps to mask wide shoulders). Also, being tall is less of an issue if you're rail thin than if you have some huskiness to you.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

The short, bearded figure stood on the stage, gesturing furiously as he declaimed on the evils of the RIAA and occasionally pacing around a bit.

"Richard, you've changed," murmured the balding, nondescript-looking man in the audience to himself.

After the talk, the bearded man strolled up the stairs, unconcerned by the train of scruffy-looking undergraduates following after. He was headed for the cookie table. As he began to shovel handfuls of madeleines and pecan brownies into his mouth, the bald, mustachioed man approached.

"Eric," the bearded man gasped, nearly dropping a handful of shortbread cookies (but not quite.)

"Richard," the bald man said firmly.

"What brings you here?" asked the bearded man. The undergraduates merely stared wide-eyed, knowing something special was happening, but not knowing quite what. At least, the ones who weren't also going for the cookie table.

"Well, Richard, you'll remember how we knew each other, seven years before you started the GNU project," said Eric.

"Yes..." Richard began to say, when he was interrupted by a particularly young-looking undergraduate.

"In the biblical sense?" taunted the undergraduate, as she adjusted her baseball cap and pulled on her red hair.

There was silence.

"Yes, young ladies and gentlemen, in the biblical sense," said Eric.

"I think we need to go upstairs, to my office," said Richard.

[Anonymous No.]

MIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG