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/jp/ - Otaku Culture


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10272350 No.10272350 [Reply] [Original]

This is the new corporate NEET thread.

please share your latest cubicle (mis)adventures here.

>> No.10272355

I almost got put on an "improvement plan" but now I'm mediocre again and my job isn't in jeopardy.

>> No.10272359

I just entered a new tax bracket.

>> No.10272360

>>10272355
Human resources is making me take some classes. It's really boring, I find myself dozing off most of the time, and I haven't learned anything. I'm worried because a) they'll test me next week and I don't think I can just wing it and b) the HR lady probably took note of my shitty attitude. I hope I don't get fired.

>> No.10272361

I skipped work today.
Am I awesome?

>> No.10272372

>>10272360
It's not to late to beg for mercy. Think about what would happen if you needed to get a job that actually required work or socialization.

>> No.10272378

>>10272372
I'll have to do my best in class tomorrow.

>> No.10272379

Where do you find these awesome jobs?
Only jobs I've had have been hard labor. Moving furniture, unloading boxes for a supermarket, and literally picking up shit for hours at an animal shelter.

>> No.10272396

>>10272379
Your post reminded me how swell it was when my online business wasn't dead and I was making $2k a month doing nothing but bumming around.

>> No.10272400

>>10272379
1. get useful degree.
2. find cushy 9-5 job that let you use the internet.
3. shitpost on 4chan during work.
4. win at life

>> No.10272406
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10272406

>>10272379
I started tech support and did well enough to make it into management. I have 10 hrs/wk of work and a full time salary + 4 weeks of vacation. I just browse /jp/ to kill time in the office.

>> No.10272413

>>10272400
You don't need a degree, you just need to be willing to work for free to begin with. Do some sort of job placement program that has office positions, you can easily get a desk job or a stay at home desk job with only a high school diploma.

>> No.10272418

>>10272379
Thousands of small business have gone bankrupt in the past 3-4 years. Look them up and pad your resume with volunteer work, internships, etc, remember to add a relative as a reference or former boss. If they ask for extra documentation (tax receipts, contracts, etc) just walk out the interview. They can't call the police unless they can actually prove that you lied. Also, before a interview you should look up your potential job on youtube and learn as much as possible about it, if you have enough info you can bullshit your way through and pretend that you've held a similar position before.

>> No.10272420

>>10272413
except you need a degree to make it worthwhile to sit in the office from 9-5. companies cant pay you well if you dont have a degree.

>> No.10272424

>>10272400
this also works:

1. ask parents to pull strings
2. receive cushy job

>> No.10272426

>>10272418
If you actually do the volunteer work/internship you get a letter of recommendation, which makes it easier to get hired.

>> No.10272431

>>10272420
I get paid more than minimum wage, so I can't complain. As long as I have enough money to survive when my parents pass away, I don't care if I'm rich.

>> No.10272436

lol why do u guys work??? i don't do shit everyday im living the life

goml losers

>> No.10272453

How can you be a NEET with a job when NEET means "Not in Education, Employment, or Training"?

>> No.10272449

Does your office building have it's own "Siberian" section? You know, where employees who fuck up or piss someone off are sent. Everyday I see this 46 year old guy who has to take phone calls like a 20 year old intern, he has like a decade of experience and earns almost the same as me. I hope I don't end up like him

>> No.10272462
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10272462

I had a 1 1/2 hour meeting with my two bosses during which I summarized to them why I think I deserve a 9.8% raise. They admitted it won't be easy but they'd try their best during the next employee rating in February. So yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself. Let's see how that'll turn out eventually.

>> No.10272456

>>10272453
Shut the fuck up, nerd.

>> No.10272466

>>10272453
When you job consists of doing nothing but pushing buttons and screwing around on the Internet. It is like we are living in the Jetsons' time.

>> No.10272473

>>10272462
I'm in the top 5 and I all I got was a bottle of wine and chocolates for the holidays.

>> No.10272477

>>10272453
"Corporate NEET" implies we're not really working

>> No.10272475

>>10272453
I have enough of pretending to be one. I am being honest now.

>> No.10272493

I'm starting a job next month that involves me going around to various sites to test for pollutants in water. All I have to do is drive my company given truck to these things, dip a test tube in a pool of water, and then go wherever they tell me next. I'll only have to report to the office once I'm done sampling. I plan on doing one sample and then dicking around in the truck all day before going back to the office to drop off the sample and to pick up my car to go home.

Is that mind numbing and easy enough to be considered corporate NEET?

>> No.10272497

>>10272493
Can you shitpost on 4chan in the truck?

>> No.10272499

>>10272477
https://fuuka.warosu.org/jp/thread/S9549154
>* Neet lifestyle¹
[...]
>¹ - NEET lifestyle will be contained in only one thread, so the board won't be flooded with personal threads.
FUcking tryhards ignoring the rules just to be edgy.

>> No.10272503

>>10272497
Of course, I'll be driving around relatively busy areas. I'll even have LTE service on my phone which is faster than my cable internet at home.

>> No.10272509

>>10272493

>I plan on doing one sample and then dicking around in the truck all day before going back to the office to drop off the sample and to pick up my car to go home.

I'm pretty sure they'll notice

>> No.10272512

>>10272499
The post your quoting is outdated. The 4chan.org/rules doesn't say that NEET discussion should be contained in only one thread. Furthermore, corporate NEETs and shut ins/hikis have different lifestyles so I think it's best to have separate threads.

Feel free to start a thread about this in /q/, but please don't derail this one

>> No.10272513

>>10272499
Let's just get along, the regular NEET threads are already shitty anyways.

>> No.10272520

I have no job or education. I don't know what to do.

>> No.10272523

>>10272520
Do minimum wage labor

>> No.10272524

>>10272512
>>10272513
edgy tryhards detected.

>> No.10272527

It's been the holidays and the office is out on vacation, so I've been hanging out at the office because it's warmer than my apartment and the internet is faster. I brought a little sleeping bag and there's a vending machine down the hall so it's all cool. The janitor came by once or twice but I don't think he cared.

>> No.10272530

>>10272524
I never claimed I was a NEET, I just want to take it easy.
I don't think NEET is a title to be proud of anyways.

>> No.10272532

Also since it's Christmas time I'm getting paid over time. Icing on the cake.

>> No.10272543

Yesterday I decided to work from home today, so I left the shitty workstation on at the office on overnight. Strangely enough, I couldn't manage a remote connection to the computer at work this morning from home so I had to drive to the office and see what the hell was the problem. Turns out the computer there goes to sleep automatically after an hour of idling. After I got over that disappointment, I changed the setting there, and returned home. A waste of an hour, but whatever.

>> No.10272550

There are so many office people here. I'm curious, what do you guys actually do?

>> No.10272552

>>10272527
I've tried to "work" overtime but the manager noticed something was up and wanted me to explain why I had to stay 2 extra hours last Tuesday. I'd rather not push my luck

>> No.10272557

>>10272550
I work in IT. Tech support, sysadmining, network maintenance, software updates, that kind of thing. Mostly though I just sit in my office listening to music or doing whatever until someone calls, then I walk down to their office and turn their computer off and on.

>>10272552
What kind of work do you do? It's easy enough to stretch the truth... you just need to understand the flow of things in the office.

>> No.10272558

>>10272550
Browse /jp/

>> No.10272572

>>10272550
I work for a engineering firm and we get a lot of calls everyday from clients having all sorts of technical problems. My "job" is to sort them out and send email notifications to the proper teams. I don't understand why they don't just make the phone operators send the emails themselves right after they hang up. My position as a middleman is completely unnecessary.

>> No.10272581

I plug in RAM and switch out video cards for a living

I make 9 grand per month

>> No.10272682

>>10272413

How easy is it to lie about having a degree? I'm well spoken enough to pass as having higher education. Do most interviews require a college transcript?

>> No.10272691
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10272691

>/jp/'s child if /fa/ raped /jp/

>> No.10272698

>>10272682
I don't know, I was just honest that I only have a high school diploma and an A+ certification.

>> No.10272717

I'm thinking about attending a lecture for the new retirement program they're trying to push on us. It kills an hour of company time and I don't have to work. Sure it'll be boring but anything to kill time.

I hope nobody catches on to how much company time I waste. I spend an hour talking to people about life and stuff, and then I probably spend about an hours worth of time taking poop and coffee breaks.

>> No.10272719

>>10272550
Manage servers and databases, which consists of scrolling through logs and fixing (or ignoring, if I'm lazy) any issues that appear. Occasional software development contribution, but very rare.

>> No.10272750

>>10272550
Call center quality assurance.

>> No.10272761

>>10272550
File Clerk

>> No.10272819
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10272819

That cubicle NEET feel when you take the day off work and watch Office Space for the eleventh time.

>> No.10272849

>>10272819
That exact picture was shooped onto a "cubicle etiquette" poster over the copy machine where I work.

>> No.10272850

I got lucky and found a job posting by a decent coffeehouse on Craigslist. I only work afternoons (which are usually slow as shit) and my shift is usually only 6 & 1/2 hours long. There's a flat screen with cable set up inside so sometimes I watch that or browse 4chan from my phone.

It's fun because I can drink all the coffee and shit-quality tea that I want for free, but I'm a little worried because I'm slow and I'm still not very good at making drinks and I don't always socialize with the customers like the previous manager wants me to. Although I think the new manager doesn't really care if I talk much so I'm not too worried about that last part.

>> No.10272853

>>10272550
Take a laptop with 2phones.
Drive around the city for like 8hours.
Go back to the office and upload the logfiles into the server and then go home.

>> No.10272858

>tfw I'm the laziest worker at the office
>tfw my laziness might get me fired not far in the future
What do, /jp/?

>> No.10272860

>>10272682
You cant.
Since nowadays they can check alumni easily with the advent of IT. Also you have to give references.

>> No.10272864

>>10272418
>They can't call the police unless they can actually prove that you lied.

Wait, it's illegal to lie in an interview?

>> No.10272867

>>10272858
Be the second laziest worker instead of the laziest.

>> No.10272868

>>10272858
You'd better kill yourself before they fire you. God forbid you have to work harder or get a better job.

>> No.10272871

>>10272864
On your job application, they tend to make you swear that everything is the truth under penalty of law.

>> No.10272873

>>10272867
These are wise words

>> No.10272910

>>10272550
Programmer

I haven't been assigned anything to code in a month

>> No.10272933

>>10272910
Do me a favor and do a security audit on TrueCrypt. I've picked some bad habits up again and now I'm paranoid. God damn junior idols.

>> No.10272948

>>10272453
welcome to jp, the only board on 4chan besides b where shitposting is approved by staff

>> No.10272951

>>10272933
There is a hole where you can get the key from RAM if you accessed it recently. So turn off your computer often if you are paranoid.

>> No.10272953

isn't a corporate neet just a miserable faggot who should go back to their own board and not bother /jp/ with their boring, off-topic posts about work?

>> No.10272975

>>10272953
But this is my board.

>> No.10272989

>>10272953
shut the fuck up corporate neet is janitor approved

>> No.10273006
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10273006

>>10272953
>boring
Ironically enough, this thread is more interesting than the other pants-shitting NEET thread. Step it up, kids.

>> No.10273071

>>10273006
It's not exciting at all. I'd rather read some pants-shitting or lewd stories. This could pass as some biting satire at the working man.

>> No.10273256
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10273256

It's kind of ironic. I sorta miss my corporate NEET days. Fresh out of university no one took you seriously at all. Your input and work didn't really matter and could've even been automated honestly. That really bothered me and aside from getting paid more I wanted more challenges and shit. But then you get your cert and into management and it's a pain. Seems all the problems/blame get shunted your way and even mundane things need you to sign off on it. Being middle management a suffering. Not powerful enough yet to have a secretary or large enough team with an old crew to do virtually all the work for you. Don't even have coffee-getting interns right now.

>> No.10273269

>>10273256
My superior said there is practically nothing I can get blamed for, aside from stealing, because it's his (or her) job to make sure I do what I'm supposed to do. Feels kind of good to be at the bottom of the chain.

>> No.10273280

I've never had a job in my life

>> No.10273430 [DELETED] 
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10273430

I can't see myself in 10 years anymore. I think I need to just hurry up and go

>> No.10275121

I've been out for the past week due to the holidays. I'm staying at home, wasting away my time on 4chan and games, and loving it.

As a former NEET, I would pick the NEET lifestyle over work in a heartbeat.

I'm only in it for the money that I spend on otaku culture. Autism bux pay nowhere near as much as I make. So that option would be a significant loss.

>> No.10275712

The boredom kills me little by little everyday. Today I spent 8 hours staring at the empty corners of my desk, the walls, the floor, and my co workers who like to post racist comments on facebook while looking at porn on google images. When I was a NEET I'd just take a nap to pass the time but I have to look busy and that is a entire job of it's own. It's really exhausting, mentally more than anything

I wish I was dead

>> No.10275746

very nice blog about your jobs being shit kind sirs, upboated

>> No.10275774

The thing I like best about being a corpo slave is that due to my superior autistic planning skills I can get all the work, every single ounce of it, that is shoved off on me by my lazy superiors done in like 4 hours.
I spend the rest of the week doing fucking nothing.

>> No.10275821
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10275821

We could really use a few cute mascots right now to lighten the mood and mediate. The time around fiscal year end is always crazy with lots of head-bashing within and between departments.

>> No.10275900
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10275900

I went out to lunch with my boss today. He paid for my food and then we went out for ice cream. It took about two hours and he said since he suggested going out he'd fix my hours so it looked like I was only out for 30 minutes.

>> No.10275921

>>10275900
He wants to fuck.

>> No.10275929

90% of the people in this thread are disgusting crossboard mongoloids from shit boards like /a/, /g/ and /mu/ and the rest are /jp/sies shitposting (you can identify them by the actual funny posts).

>> No.10275943

IT sysadmin here. Going to be taking some CCNA courses. I've been volunteering for lots of network projects at work and wouldn't mind gaining new skills and the certificate to back it up. I'm also going to take Japanese language classes. Not telling the coworkers about the last one though.

>> No.10275955 [DELETED] 

>>10275929
>tgfw pretending to be everything you mentioned at anytime in the sanctity of /jaypee/
I wish I had an epicles reaction image to show how good it feels.

>> No.10275975

>>10275929

nah it just reeks of /g/

>> No.10275995

>>10275929
Since you used a super cool /int/ meme I'm going to assume you're being "ironic", but I'll respond seriously anyway. I'm from /a/ because I came here with the split. I haven't browsed another board since 2010 when I stopped being interested in music. /jp/ has always been full of successful people along with our less motivated brethren.

Also, this should have been a corner office stories thread. Just remember, gods lurk here.

>> No.10276014
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10276014

>>10275995
Upvote /a/ bro.

>> No.10276037

>>10275900
I miss my old bro boss. Always got great reviews from him too.

>> No.10276041

>>10275995
What /int/ meme did he use?

>> No.10276067

>>10275712
>When I was a NEET I'd just take a nap to pass the time but I have to look busy and that is a entire job of it's own. It's really exhausting, mentally more than anything
Oh, I know that feeling all too well. I wonder how I've not gone crazy yet.

>> No.10276153

>>10276067
because it is fun

>> No.10276167

>>10275995
I wouldn't say having a job makes you successful. It just pays for the Internet and prevents you from starving to death.

>> No.10276310

>>10276167
then what makes you successful?

>> No.10276319

>>10276310
beign a braindead 20 year old child who shits his pants every evning and gets mommy to wipeh is ass for him Xd

>> No.10276322

>>10276310
Being a job creator.

>> No.10276388

>>10276322
by that measure, does that mean that doctors, lawyers, and professors are not successful?

>> No.10276419

>>10276388
Eventually, the doctor should open a hospital, the lawyer should open a law practice, and the professor should just die because I hate those guys.

>> No.10276427

>>10276388
They cure filthy normies, help filthy normies in court and teach filthy normies stuff, respectively. Disgusting. They should live for themselves and make sure those not worthy of a good life won't get one. Because being a harbinger of justice is the only way to be successful.

>> No.10276441
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10276441

>>10276310
Do you happy?

>> No.10276448
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10276448

What's the easiest way to make money online?

I'm sick of working at real jobs. I can live off 10 dollars a day so even minimum wage feels like an unnecessarily large amount of work.

>> No.10276460
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10276460

>>10276441
Ultra happy.

>> No.10276474

>>10276448
Craigslist prostitution
YouTube
Forex
MTurk

If you don't mind reddit, there's a subreddit all about making tens of dollars per month, mostly through online surveys and installing software and stuff like that. If you have a spare computer, it'd be perfect because you're probably going to get a buttload of spyware. It's /r/beermoney

>> No.10276481

>>10276474
Oh, and reddit also has a Bitcoin mining group. Supposedly if you don't have multiple computers set up for mining, it's best to join a group. When a coin is mined, it's split throughout the group.

>> No.10276485

>>10276448
Digital sweatshops are actually more work than a minimum wage stay-at-home job.

> I can live off 10 dollars a day

Great, you can save the rest. Eventually, you want to be able to retire without worrying about starvation.

>> No.10276498

>>10276485

>stay-at-home job

Those still exist? I thought every stay-at-home job was just turned into those microworker jobs that the Indians do.

>> No.10276501
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10276501

>>10276460
Congratulations. You already won at life.
Dont let other people get you down.

>> No.10276517

>>10276498
Most of them are reserved for disabled people, but, yeah, they exist. I got one from a government job placement service. If you want to find a stay-at-home job, ironically enough, you can't do it from home. You need someone to help you or you'll just get one of those jobs you described.

>> No.10276560
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10276560

>Get about 700 a month from SSI
>Live with my mother so I don't have to spend any of that money
>Insurance covers all of the enjoyable prescription drugs that I get to take for fun (speed, opiates, etc)
>If my mother dies then I get a couple hundred thousand dollars in life insurance and a house that is already paid off

Feels good. Never going to have to work a day in my life. If my mom dies then I can live off life insurance until I'm old and if my mom doesn't die then I get 700 dollars of fun money every month.

Every day when I wake up in the morning I turn on this song and get my boogie on. I dance for hours. I love being a NEET.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDwutKpVyas

>> No.10276572

>>10276560
>Get about 700 a month from SSI
>Live with my mother so I don't have to spend any of that money

You have a job: con artist.

>> No.10276658

>>10276560
I'm jealous and your situation is pretty truNEET but who are you quoting scumbag?

>> No.10276701

>>10276560
And you're the reason why SSI shouldn't exist.

>> No.10276710

>>10276658
>who are you quoting
-ur mom

>> No.10276716

Question for fellow Canadian wageslaves: How easy is it to land a cushy government IT job if you achieve an acceptable fluency in French?

>> No.10276752

>>10272456
bully alert

be considerate

>> No.10276754
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10276754

>Journalist
I...I may have picked the one career that is worse than being a NEET.

>> No.10276763

>>10276710
I swear, these fucking NEETthreads lure in the worst kind of people.
At least try to fit in

>> No.10276772 [DELETED] 

>>10276763
Don't worry about it

>> No.10276777

>>10272350
The is no such thing as corporate NEET. If you have a job your not a NEET its just that simple.

>> No.10276799

>>10276716
Depends on how "fluent" you really are.

My cousin is fluent, and yet the uncle of her beau has a hard time understanding her French, due to her thick accent. Basically, you need to speak fluently enough that Quebecers can understand you at first go if you speak slowly and clearly.

It also depends on the job. Some jobs (most of which involve interaction with the public) require fluent bilingual workers. For others, it'll put you over the top when going against equally-qualified candidates.

>> No.10276808
File: 17 KB, 268x277, killeveryone.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10276808

>this thread

>> No.10276816

>>10276777
Indeed, the fact that this thread has 100+ replies is killing my faith in humanity

>> No.10276848

>>10276777
http://www.japancrush.com/2012/stories/workers-with-no-work-rise-of-the-corporate-neet-in-japan.html

>> No.10276857 [DELETED] 

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Your faith in humanity should have died long ago.
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>> No.10276870

>>10272858
/jp/ Proverbs

"Laziest man get fired, second laziest does not."

>> No.10276874
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10276874

Please take this discussion off the board, words like "tax bracket" and "profit margin" are scaring the truNEETs

>> No.10276875

>>10272858
suck you boss' cock

>> No.10276879
File: 61 KB, 800x600, you what mate.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10276879

what the fuck did I just see?

>> No.10276884

What's the easiest job to get that requires no real work?

I don't care what the pay is. Anything is fine as long as I can just sit there and do nothing all day.

>> No.10276886

>>10276857
Hey, want to swap emails so we can send encrypted mails back and forth?

>> No.10276889

>>10276884
i just want to live at my house and have a stay at home job, or get SRI.

I have BPD, Manic Depression, and Severe Depression. But I'm told even then I'll never be able to get SRI.

>> No.10276893

>>10276884
Any office corporate or government job.

>> No.10276895 [DELETED] 

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I don't have an email address.
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>> No.10276898

Today my job was to 'supervise' an automated system that impressive self-diagnostic and repair capabilities. I napped for more than an hour and took an extra long lunch. It's been a real hard Friday.

>> No.10276906

>>10276895
>>10276895
>>10276895


what the fuck???

>> No.10276912 [DELETED] 

Janitor monitered thread. Next deletion means this janitir huffs cock.

>> No.10276927 [DELETED] 

Janitor if you delete this you are officially gay.

>> No.10276927,1 [INTERNAL] 

>>10276912
>>10276927
Janitor is a fucking faggot

>> No.10276978 [DELETED] 
File: 330 KB, 800x680, 089323728975276.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10276978

Well, I'm homeless.

Is $11/hr decent pay as a "Winter Laborer"?

>> No.10276986

>>10276978
It depends on how many hours they give you. If it's only one hour per day, that's nothing, if its a full eight hours, that's incredibly good.

>> No.10277010 [DELETED] 

>>10276986
It says Full-time Seasonal.

Then again, who knows what'll happen to my hours after that fiscal cliff plunges us into another recession. Perfect time to finally get a job, huh?

>> No.10277021
File: 338 KB, 900x731, 1351977141281.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10277021

Stories? Did a surprise audit a while back. Bumped into a group bitching about corporate on way in. They turned white as sheets when we introduced ourselves. Doesn't help the team has lots of mean-looking guys and ex-military. Being professionals, we ruffled them a bit and told'em some of the rumours were true. We do indeed eat babies. One person half our size looked like they were going to cry. Funny day.

>> No.10277022

>>10277010
That's very good pay even if it's only for one fourth of the year. I doubt you'll get it though due to all the applicants and the fact you probably don't have that great interview skills being on /jp/ and all.

>> No.10277046 [DELETED] 

>>10277022
It has had 3 positions open since October and my stepmom and brother also work there. I should mention it's in the mountains and 2 hours from a decent-sized city.

It doesn't seem too crazy if I get the job. The only problem is explaining the last 6 years of sitting on my ass NEETing it up.

>> No.10277058

>>10277046
Just bullshit and lie about how you travel all around the world with the people you met on the internet.

>> No.10277059

>>10277046
You should probably take up the opportunity since it's right in front of you. If you hate it you can just quit.

Also I'm jealous, I loved living in the mountains but I'm stuck in flatland.

>> No.10277076

Do you ever think it's funny how if you push off taking a job to have time for yourself you're treated like shit but if you take a job and spend all day playing Solitaire it's as if somehow you're contributing to society?

>> No.10277077

>>10272853
streetview car?

>> No.10277083

I've found one can become a corporate NEET even in relatively flat organizations. I was an internet hire for a local restaurant so I could sit in a kitchen with a laptop and tell line cooks when GrubHub orders came in via outlook; Chef couldn't even use an Android phone and he was white. I mostly traded soda to Mexican dudes and received pizzas and entrees from them, then drank free beer when I closed my station for the night.

I miss this job.

>> No.10277086

>>10277076
Protip: people at work hate the guy who slacks, acts anti-social, and wastes time all day

>> No.10277087

>>10277086
But that's what everyone does.

>> No.10277091

I've scouted Amiami and Mandarake secondhand/pre-displayed sections for deals while being on the phone with HP to redo SNMP traps for SIM monitored devices.

>> No.10277095

>>10277086
Actually working hard pushes up the production quota up for everyone else... so... you'll actually be more hated if you work hard rather than goof off all the time like everyone else.

>> No.10277102 [DELETED] 

>>10277087
No?

Stop basing reality off of shows like Seinfeld and Drew Carey. If you don't work you generally get fired, especially in the current job market.

>> No.10277112

>>10277083
I don't understand how some people can be retarded with computers. My co workers don't even know how to use Utorrent

>> No.10277105

>>10277102
You work just as hard as everyone else works, no more, no less.

>> No.10277106

>>10277086
but the more slacking we do at work the more work there is for us to do and the more necessary we look to the company

i've seen two hardworking girls get fired while all the people who just talk and waste time sit for years comfortably in the company

>> No.10277122

>>10277112
That's because utorrent is chocked full of ads ever since it was acquired. I don't know how you use it either. You should switch over to Halite.

>> No.10277125
File: 27 KB, 482x321, laughing-whores.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10277125

>>10277102
> If you don't work you generally get fired

>> No.10277129 [DELETED] 

>>10277105
There's a difference between being a tryhard faggot and working hard.

If you're an autistic aspie who shuns everyone else for slacking off while you work they hate you. If you don't act like an arrogant prick they'll appreciate you for getting shit done. It's all about being social.

>> No.10277131

>>10277102
In my work place, they coined a term call LLB.
Look like busy

>> No.10277133

>>10277095
>>10277087
No. People who fuck around all day trying to look cute, be funny, and avoid work are only popular in TV shows. No one likes the lazy guy or the guy who makes mistakes all the god damn time. It only means more work for them.

Remember back in middle school where your lab partners made you build the entire fucking bridge out of straws while they talked about GTA and masturbation? Did you like them? No, you resented them and told the teacher, who gave them Fs. It's the same way in the Real World.

>> No.10277139 [DELETED] 
File: 70 KB, 500x628, 1332910598646.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10277139

>>10277131
They just stole George's "If you look annoyed people think you're working" bit.

>> No.10277145

>>10277139
Fuck, it's been two years already?

I was here when this meme was created.

>> No.10277151

>>10277133
Congratulation everyone, we have been very efficient this year. Unfortunately, this means we have to cut hours and pay because we did all the work they hired us to do, but good job!

They don't like that, either.

>> No.10277157

>>10277151
And you think that means that they will like the guy who gets to screw around all day while they work?

>> No.10277158

>>10277133
I didn't have labs in middle school, but in college whenever we had lazy lab partners, it wasn't socially acceptable to complain because most people were like that at some point.

The person would be like, "Well I'm sorry I'm not a genius like you and don't understand the experiments man, thanks for making me fail, jeez". Everyone else would be, "Hey man, what a douche. Would it kill him to just not fuck up that guys grade? He'll tread over you for the slightest personal gain, man, I hope I never partner with him".

>> No.10277171

>>10277157
As long as you meet your personal goals your manager gives you and the whole team meets the goals sent down from corporate, it's OK to goof off.

>> No.10277188

>>10277158
That's because they didn't have to put up with his shit. If I may quote a Jew: "We might see someone kicking a vending machine, and conclude they're an inherently angry person. But maybe they just failed a test, had their driving license revoked, and had the machine eat their money for the third time this week." They see you mad and think you are being an asshole, but if they had to work with him, they wouldn't like it either.

>>10277171
>As long as you meet your personal goals
See the post we are discussing: >>10277086
>people at work hate the guy who slacks, acts anti-social, and wastes time all day
He is correct. The lone person who does that is hated and the first to be fired.

>> No.10277190

>>10277133
How many people do you think they fire in March? All of them? Because companies lose millions in revenue to March Madness.

Most of what I do has been task based but I did work customer service for awhile and everyone just cheated on their metrics because they were ridiculous. Those things just exist so they can shit can you any time since you're always going to have bad metrics.

I'm not saying everyone is a jack ass, but a lot of them are. Just go on to any forum or IRC channel so many of the people are using it from work. I don't know what experience you're basing this all off of but it's not as uncommon as you seem to think.

Also you shouldn't be giving 'real world' proper caps unless you're talking about the fucking TV show.

>> No.10277194

>>10277190
*millions of hours in productivity
not revenue

>> No.10277209

>>10277190
Well, they do want to have an excuse to never give you a raise. I am far to scared to even think about asking for one.

>> No.10277218

>>10277171
Everyone at my job thinks this way except one person, and she only works two days a week.

This mentality makes being a non-NEET a little more bearable.

>> No.10277223

I spend so much time just trying to fix my speeding patterns...

>> No.10277243

About a year ago I learned to type properly (I had been typing with two fingers for over 20 years).
However, I recently realized that I only properly touch type with my left hand. So I fixed it and now I touch type with both, but my right hand is slower and can't keep up with my left hand. As a result my WPM has dropped to about 60 and I keep making typos.

My boss is going to kill me when I go back to work.

>> No.10277249

>>10277190
No one gives a shit if you fuck around on facebook for a while. If you are pissing away 6 hours a day on it and people have to go out of their way to fix your fuck ups, they are going to hate you.

Everyone can sympathize with wanting to fuck the boss over, but those who take it to extremes are very unpopular. I present welders as an example. Many are arrogant assholes who will sit in their truck just to watch you work. No one likes them, not even other welders. They can't be fired simply because it cost thousands of dollars to test a new one, but they are always the first to be laid off none the less.

>I'm not saying everyone is a jack ass, but a lot of them are. Just go on to any forum or IRC channel so many of the people are using it from work. Also, programmers. If you were working on a project, would you like the guy who introduced 5000 bugs a day and couldn't fix them because he was too busy talking shit about your code to other coders?

No one faults people for browsing the internet in the background, just the people who can't stop mashing F5 and refuse to be accountable because "everyone does it!".


>Also you shouldn't be giving 'real world' proper caps unless you're talking about the fucking TV show.
I don't know this show. I would have done a trademark symbol to emphasize the absurdity of the idea that there was a Fake Life, but charmap was so far away.

>> No.10277252

>>10277243
I don't get it, do you stare at the right side of the keyboard when you type? How can you only partially touch type?

>> No.10277259

>>10277249
If you have Internet access, it's easier just to use Google™ to get special characters.

>> No.10277264

>>10272350

All the managers and all the principal developers in my group left for the holidays and put me in charge... for some strange reason. Nothing major happened. Same old shit of triage, answering questions from random confused developers, and making them fix shit.

>> No.10277267

I worked at a pizza place once. I got to take however long on deliveries because our delivery range was so large. On busy nights I would just be delivering all night without doing much work inside. I listened to the same fiften eurodance songs while delivering.

>> No.10277268

>>10277252
With my left hand my fingers touch the proper keys. With my right hand I basically only use my index finger and little finger. It's a real pain when it comes to things like , and .
I don't seem to pivot my hand either, it moves all over the place whereas my left hand stays firmly on the desk.

>> No.10277277

What is a good degree to aim for that will give me a high chance at getting a decent office job?

Right now I'm majoring in computer science but I haven't taken any classes for it yet and I think it will be too hard for me anyway.

>> No.10277281

>>10277268
Who cares if you use the correct fingers? You'll be slower than somebody who learned properly, but the important thing is just to be able to remember where the keys are and hit them quickly.

>> No.10277280 [DELETED] 

>>10277277
Accounting.

It's boring as fuck, though.

>> No.10277285

>>10277277
Computer science really isn't hard. You'll be taught Java or Python and make GUI apps that prompt for and save names using built-in methods. Your program returned "John Smith"? Great, you've passed. Here's your degree and a complimentary UML diagram plus some webspace for your e-portfolio. Come again next year!

>> No.10277286

THIS IS NOT FUCKING SPAM
>>10277209
Yeah I'm sure it's limited to certain jobs. Though there are dead end jobs, and within those jobs yes people slack off because they feel they don't have much to lose.

>>10277249
Have you ever worked in an office? You're just coming across as some ESL with a chip on his shoulder, like you can't quite find the words for your point but want to argue it anyway. I'm not talking about fucking criminal incompetence here, stop framing your counter arguments as if I was. I'm talking about half assers not someone who shits on the floor. That you don't understand the difference is confusing as hell.

>> No.10277294

>>10277281
That's the thing: I can't go back. I'm stuck in this horrible inbetween state where I can't type the proper way or the weird way I used to type.

Have you ever played a game a lot and you've thought, "I'm good at this game. I can beat this level easily. So now I'm going to beat this level super fast and stylishly!" then you keep dying, only to realize you can't beat the level at all any more? It's like that.

>> No.10277288

>>10277277
Degrees don't matter much. As long as it's a BS you're fine. Don't go near BA because they're wastes of money unless you want to pursue a scholarly life or work in the arts.

What matters most is connections. Ask everyone in your family if they can ask around their company for open positions. Connections get jobs, networking through that job opens up other jobs.

>> No.10277291

>>10277277

Depends on how lucky you are, even with a CS degree. I only have a two year degree from an ass-tastic community college, and I've somehow managed to fall into the senior ranks. My W2 this year should be about 135k USD, which is more than I could have hoped for just a few short years ago.

>> No.10277297

>>10277294
No, not at all. You just really suck.

>> No.10277301

just download mavis beacon and fucking nut up

>> No.10277303

>>10277294
its not the end of the world

>> No.10277312

>>10277286
>I'm talking about half assers not someone who shits on the floor.
Oh. I thought we were discussing the guy described in >>10277086. I guess I missed where you changed the subject. I'm sorry, the problem is me. You win the argument and I admit that I was completely and totally wrong in every way. I'll stop posting now and I'll probably leave /jp/ forever. Goodbye.

>> No.10277317

>>10277077
>streetview car
Close. Freelance subcontractor doing telecommunication service. Basically you drive around and do benchmarking for their mobile coverage and way to improve their coverage.

>> No.10277316
File: 13 KB, 689x49, storyofourlives.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10277316

>>10277291
Can you send me some money? Like maybe 100$? I don't really need it, I just want some.

Please.

>> No.10277319

I type with pretty much all my fingers except for my left pinky. My pointer and middle fingers get the most use.

>> No.10277326

>>10277316

Now, let's be honest... what will you do with it? Are you going to put that money away toward retirement, buying a house, or something else equally honorable?

>> No.10277322

>>10277317
Oh, so you do site surveys.

>> No.10277325

>>10277280
I'll look into this, it does seem like what I would want though.
>>10277285
Well there is a lot of math involved and I'm not that good at math.
>>10277288
Sadly I don't have many connections, I've never even had a job before and I'm going to find one soon (obviously nothing special as I don't have a degree yet) but I would like it to be a decent job, I wouldn't mind sitting on a computer typing all day or something but I have no idea where to even begin looking for an office job.

>> No.10277329

>>10277319
How exactly do you hold down the control key?

>> No.10277336

>>10277326
I'm going to buy a cheap whore and snort coke off her huge tits. I'll spam the pics on /jp/ until I get bored.

>> No.10277333

>>10277329
Ah, the pinky does go to the control key. I don't really know what fingers use what keys, they just kind of go all over. I do know the two innermost get the most use though.

>> No.10277339

>>10277322
I used to.
site survey is fucking easy anyway, just go to the rooptop and take 360degrees pics and then go home. You are going to NEET a lot since most of these jobs are project base and arent permanent job.

>> No.10277340 [DELETED] 

>>10277325
Even jobs like the ones in Dilbert or The Office require a degree these days.

Well, a degree or being a 6/10+ female.

>> No.10277341

>>10277325
You have family though most likely. And since you're unemployed you have another valuable resource: time. You can use that time to volunteer, which builds connections, makes your resume stand out, and may even provide immediate job opportunities. If you do go to school then there will be intern opportunities. Take them, and you can build experience which is infinitely more desirable to companies than degrees.

>> No.10277345

>>10277325
>Well there is a lot of math involved and I'm not that good at math.

Not really. Or rather, it's simple math. Digital logic is just arithmetic but with two digits instead of ten.
Specific fields have some heavy math, but I don't know why people think CS is math-heavy. It really isn't.

>> No.10277348

>>10277336

For $100? Wow. I somehow doubt that.

>> No.10277352

>>10277348
I live in Sudan. With 100$ I could kill someone.

>> No.10277354

>>10277312
Actually I was following up my post here >>10277076, "plays Solitaire all day" might have been a little hyperbolic but equating that to "causes core meltdown" is even more fucking hyperbolic.

Also my reply was mainly to your post with the middle school analogy which is simply wrong. There are half assers and they very often can get ahead, the business world is not whatever perfect productivity based system you've deluded yourself into thinking it is. Just because someone engaging in Seinfeld level shenanigans like sleeping under his desk doesn't mean he's not a half asser. Nepotism and liars abound!

>> No.10277358

Also another question about degrees and stuff.

Would going for a bachelors in IT be a wiser choice than CS if you are looking for an easy job and more job opportunities

>> No.10277355

>>10277352
I could kill someone with ten. Your point being?

>> No.10277356 [DELETED] 

>>10277345
It's not really "math-heavy", but if you don't have the abstraction skills necessary to understand higher math like Calculus then you're fucked.

It's all about being able to break down complex math problems into code, which often requires a lot of creativity and being able to picture the calculations in your head.

Also, get a touchpad with a pen for UMLs. You'll be making a lot of them.

>> No.10277360

>>10277354
*someone isn't engaging
God fuck this I'm out.

>> No.10277361

>>10277352
>With 100$ I could kill someone.

Really? How much does $100 weigh in Sudan? Does it have sharp edges? I suppose it might be a choking hazard, but getting someone to eat it is probably the trick.

>> No.10277365 [DELETED] 

>>10277358
IT is a rat race thanks to places like ITT Tech churning out graduates like a factory.

>> No.10277374

>>10277340
Dilbert is an engineer, so of course you would need to go to college to have his job. To have an office job, you don't, though.

>> No.10277391 [DELETED] 

>>10277374
I was referring to the people around Dilbert, fuckface.

God, are you always this retarded?

>> No.10277419

>>10277391
They are also engineers. It's the engineering department of the company.

>> No.10277421

>>10277277

Pretty much any BS degree will work. Pick something that interests you and major in that.

You'll find once you get out there that a lot of people have degrees in fields completely unrelated to what their careers wind up being.

If you just want to do IT crap, you might be better served with an AS, some certificates, and some time doing entry-level shitwork.

>> No.10277439

Came in 3 hours after I was supposed to today, drunk as hell.
At this point I wish they'd fire me but they won't.
They never will, not unless I freak the fuck out and throw a monitor through a window.
It wouldn't be so bad if the job was challenging.
It wouldn't be so bad if I actually had something to do.
I have to wonder why my job even exists in this company.

>> No.10277486

>>10277439
To prevent people from having to live on the street.

>> No.10277749

>>10277326
Eh, to be honest I don't have a lot of material possessions left to buy. I do have a car payment though, and the sooner I get that paid off, the sooner I can move out of my parent's house. So if a car payment counts, then sure, I'll put it to something honorable.

>> No.10277791

>>10277326
>>10277749
Also sorry about the slow reply. I'm at work, and actually had to do something, surprisingly.

>> No.10277834

>>10277439
What's your job?

>> No.10277839

>>10277834

dick sucking

>> No.10279241

>>10277421
That's pretty much me. BS is Biochemistry and Physics - now I work for a translation company managing copyrighted material.

Professional /jp/ shitposter for $19/hour.

>> No.10279252

>>10279241
I didn't even know it was possible to get a job with my Biochemistry degree, it just didn't seem applicable to pretty much anything except working in a lab, which is way to competitive in the Vancouver area.

>> No.10279275

>>10279252
>>10279241
Cant you get some job as a liquid tester for medical checkup or some shit like that?

>> No.10279286

>>10279275
Medical? Not without an associates degree or license in nurse/doctor's assistant.

Unfortunately, in this country and at this time, it's not what you know but who you know. i wouldn't have gotten my cushy office job if my best friend's parents didn't own the company.

>> No.10279301
File: 47 KB, 329x247, anzu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10279301

About to fap with my anzu onahole

>> No.10279315 [DELETED] 

>>10279286
I was about to ask how the fuck you managed that.

I have BS in Biology and I shovel snow for $11/hr.

Fucking wealth concentration, man. These fuckface CEOs are just sitting on their cash reserves and refusing to hire.

I hope the fiscal cliff causes mass riots and a militia shoots those greedy fucks in their gated mansions that have 12 yachts parked in the front yard filled with coke.

>> No.10279409

>>10279315
>BS in Biology

HA. All of my chem and physics professors referred to Biology majors as "our future sandwhich makers."

did you seriously think you could get anywhere with a "science" degree that doesn't even require you to understand basic calculus?

enjoy doing manual labor for the rest of your life.

>> No.10279493 [DELETED] 
File: 107 KB, 518x500, 1356581115841.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10279493

>>10279409
I was going for Pre-med but I burned out on my last year and realized I fucking hate it. My grades tanked pretty badly since I stopped giving a shit so I don't even know if I can get into a grad school with my final GPA.

At least I have a BS that's technically a STEM degree. It might impress some employers who think Biology is actually hard / useful.

Even with a useful degree you generally get paid shit these days. Jobs that used to dish out $40/hr are close to min wage these days.

Fucking baby boomers.

>> No.10279497 [DELETED] 

>>10279493
Also, these days.

>> No.10279682
File: 7 KB, 259x194, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10279682

>>10279493
if you're strong and healthy, you could work for the state DOT doing road construction and stuff. The pay is ridiculously high, and if you work overnight it's like $30+ an hour for just sitting around and watching machines move at a super slow speed.

if i weren't such a cute and weak little girl i'd be a construction worker

>> No.10279688
File: 36 KB, 420x312, 1342400998993.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10279688

I just got fired and I'm scare.

My mom is forcing me to go back to college or she is going to kick me out of home.

>> No.10279693

>>10279688
She's bluffing. Don't let her bully you.

You sit down in front of your computer and tell her you won't do shit.

>> No.10279695

>>10279688
Stop complaining you can become NEET when your 50 or 60.

>> No.10279739

>>10279695
i've been NEET since 2008 and i am honestly getting bored as fuck with it all.

>> No.10279952 [DELETED] 

>>10279739

Have you tried picking up something like painting? With all that time you had on your hands you could of become a master painter and travel all over the world to galleries, flee markets, or participate in contests! Your name will be known by thousands as you slowly gain a following online! Ah but no...you decided to moan and groan how shitty your pathetic existence is on an anonymous imageboard for 5 years. Such a shame really. Look at all that time wasted,sudo.

>> No.10279962 [DELETED] 

>>10279739
Have you tried picking up painting? With all that time you had on your hands you could have become a master painter and travel all over the world to galleries, flee markets, or participate in contests! Your name will be known by thousands as you slowly gain a following online! Ah but no...you decided to moan and groan how shitty your pathetic existence is on an anonymous imageboard for 5 years. Such a shame really. Look at all that time wasted,sudo.

>> No.10280021
File: 346 KB, 800x700, 5180956.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10280021

I used to steal a lot of stuff from my workplace

I would probably have enough money to go to Florida if I didn't spend it all on alcohol

>> No.10280033

>>10279688
How can you force someone to go to college? Is she paying your tuition? Otherwise, just tell her you can't afford it, what with being unemployed and all.

>> No.10280059

>>10280033
"If you don't go back and get yourself an education I'm booting you out of the house"

>> No.10280078

>>10280059
Right, beg poverty. Tell her you don't have enough money to survive even a month without her care. That will solve both problems.

>> No.10280102

>>10280078
Not him
But some parents don't care

They want to get rid of the parasite

>> No.10280437

>>10272413

Totally this. I've been working for ten years doing graphic design with nothing but a high school diploma. Pay is shitty at first but if you're persistent you can find decent money. Making $55k/year now.

>> No.10285955

Are there any accountants here? Big four firm, smaller firms, at all?

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