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10090417 No.10090417 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

i just walked out of my room with my pants and underwear a little down a little above my knees because i thought my sister was asleep and i was in the middle of masturbating and needed lotion

but when i walked out my sister was about 10 feet away and kinda froze and i pulled up my pants and we just kinda of stared for a couple seconds and then i went into the bathroom. she is gone now but when she gets back should i bring it up?

>> No.10090423

Serves you right you perverted dummy

>> No.10090426
File: 191 KB, 638x900, jesus christ, my holy lord and saviour may you rescue me from evil.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10090426

“None of you shall approach any one of his close relatives to uncover nakedness. I am the Lord."

Leviticus 18:6 ESV

>> No.10090427

she's currently fingering her tight little cunny thinking about your cock

You should go into her room and give her some relief.

>> No.10090431

What a baka hentai

>> No.10090432

give him le dick

>> No.10090433
File: 20 KB, 334x393, 1353144910608.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10090433

>we just kinda of stared for a couple seconds and then i went into the bathroom.

>> No.10090450
File: 125 KB, 480x800, 1320423341196.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10090450

Thong Meiling

>> No.10090468
File: 57 KB, 525x588, 1341046529112.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10090468

SHE WAN TO SUCK YOUR TODGER

GIVE IT TO HER BOY

>> No.10090473

>>10090417
If it comes up, tell her you had jock itch and was going to find some lotrimin or something.

>> No.10090490

>>10090473
That's stupid, tell her you spilled food/a drink on your pants and wanted to clean yourself and change your pants

>> No.10090491

>>10090468
>TODGER
Is this another one of those crazy British sayings?

>> No.10090505

>>10090490
That's a bit too cliche, jock itch makes it awkward enough not to bring up again and serious enough to be a more believable lie.

>> No.10090506

>>10090491
Yes.

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/todger

Don't worry, nobody actually uses it seriously.

>> No.10090510

>>10090505
Why would you walk around with your pants down to get lotion for jock itch if you could also do it with pants up?

>> No.10090520

what a retard

>> No.10090536

>>10090520
Please don't bully.

>> No.10090607
File: 105 KB, 740x740, 1318623532581.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10090607

> and i was in the middle of masturbating and needed lotion
>Using lotion to masturbate

Use your saliva,buy some lube or go dry. Lotion is pig disgusting and looks nasty when it mixes with your cum.

>> No.10090640

>>10090607
Cum is nasty

>> No.10090664

>>10090640

Only during the refractory period. I enjoy the feeling of it building up and shooting out.

Wish I could skip the clean up.

>> No.10090686

>>10090607
>saliva
never thought about that

>> No.10090691

>>10090607
Or, you know, don't mutilate your penis so you can masturbate without lube all day erry day.

>> No.10090695

>>10090686

Just brush your teeth and use mouth wash beforehand. Stinky saliva kills the mood.

>>10090691

I don't need lube. I go dry.

>> No.10090894
File: 286 KB, 1250x1425, le smug ran face.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10090894

>>10090686
>never thought about that

Is this guy le serious?

>> No.10090997
File: 111 KB, 800x600, 5610ce449490175c0c2ce5ed67fa5585b6381602.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10090997

I really want to kiss a girls soft butt.

>> No.10091029

>>10090997

I always wanted to slap and grope a girl's soft butt.

A trap is fine too.

>> No.10091039

>>10090997
screw kissing Id fuck it
captcha:
position gylove

>> No.10091069

>>10091029
metoo but only 2D girls. Real big asses are gross.

>> No.10091073

>>10091069

They aren't that. Naturally big butts are nice.
Big butts produced by weight gain is disgusting.

>> No.10091074

>>10091073
>that bad*

>> No.10091116

>>10091039
epic captcha dude

>> No.10091118

>>10091069
This, small but shapely butts are the best.

>> No.10091128

>>10090417
>2012
> masturbating

>> No.10092607

What's the status, op? You left out some details, as well.
Younger or older?
Hard or flaccid?
As for lotion: lol. Man up and buy some silicone-based.

>> No.10092640

>>10090417
you can always say that the toilet paper had finished

>> No.10092649

Get her to watch you fap next time op

>> No.10092655

>>10092640
but he went out of his room

>> No.10092664

>>10092655
he was looking for some old cloaths, or some socks to clean himself
but didnt found any
so he was going back to the bathroom to take a shower

>> No.10092689

If he had an erection when this happened these excuses are going to be hilarious.

>> No.10092691

I feel like I've seen this thread before

>> No.10092935

>>10090417
>It's all your fault onee-chan, take responsibility!

>>10090505
>jock itch
What's that?

>> No.10092937

>Lotion to masturbate

I seriously think nobody EVER does that outside the US.

>> No.10092948

>>10092937
I'm not sure how it is if you're uncut, but masturbation is much more pleasurable for me if I use some form of lubricant.

>> No.10092962

>>10092948
I'm cut and have never used lube to masturbate. What am I missing out on?

>> No.10092971

Another proof that mutilating penises at birth isn't a good idea.

>> No.10092976

>>10092962
Just use enough lotion to have your hand be able to freely slide over the dick without any friction. Being able to focus on the head feels great.

>> No.10092988
File: 817 KB, 3264x1952, IMAG0839.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10092988

Pretty sad to see the savages in this board who haven't found a superior way of self pleasure

>> No.10092989

>>10092971
It depends on who you ask.

>> No.10092993

>>10092971
Who are you talking to?

>> No.10093011

>>10092988
I think I'm going to get myself one for Christmas.

>> No.10093018

>>10092935
Athlete's foot for your groin.

>>10092937
It seems to be portrayed a lot in Japanese media.

>>10092971
To this day I don't understand what 4chan thinks happens when you get circumcised. It doesn't make the skin taunt.

Also don't any of you people make precum? Your dick should be lubing itself if you're working right.

>> No.10093028

>>10093018
>skin taut

>> No.10093032

>>10092989

Of course someone with a already crippled penis will do everything to convince himself that it's better but it is not. It's not cleaner and in fact is more dangerous for people who don't wash good, you get std's more easily and you lose sensitivity. In some cases your penis also looks like a total mess. I seriously feel sorry for people who are cut.

>> No.10093052

>>10092988
I had one, but it broke within a week of use (seventeen).

I need on with more texture, as the the seventeen was boring as hell. That doesn't break so easily, (the flesh part came away from the clear part). My hand gave a more pleasurable experience compared to it.

>> No.10093054

Every time I look down my pants I get sad.

A finger should be clipped for each circumcision you perform

>> No.10093075

>>10092971
>>10093032
>>10093054
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEO7zDdmm-w

>> No.10093111

>>10093075
I don't care about that. I just want to wank properly.

Since I'm not an Unitedstatian the reaction would probably be reversed anyways.

>> No.10093192

>>10093075

I don't even live in america and I rage with the force of a billion suns.

How do you even find such a video?

>> No.10093222
File: 227 KB, 800x575, tumblr_m3q3ct2V1m1qcd45no1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10093222

>>10093075

It reminds me of chinese finding not so long ago that women with bound feet were the cutest and sexiest things on earth when it was just plain mutilation.

>> No.10093238

>>10093018
It doesn't make enough to be able to masturbate as well with just it as opposed to with a lubricant.

>> No.10093242

You use lotion? Are you a middle-schooler? Just shower every day, and you can go dry.

>> No.10093248

>>10093222
jesus h christ

>> No.10093251

>>10093192
>I don't even live in america

Most Americans are circumcised and agree with her astute analysis.

>> No.10093260

>>10093222
That was just dumb shit women did like wear corsets or get ass tattoos. In 50 years, people will say that Americans of the 2010s found wearing pantyhose without skirts to be the height of attractiveness

>> No.10093275
File: 30 KB, 300x286, CorsetComp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10093275

>>10093260
>dumb shit
>like wear corsets

They never should have stopped.

>> No.10093282
File: 220 KB, 1689x553, le american bear baby cirumcised.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10093282

Circumcision is so popular in America because the hospitals make millions by selling the foreskins to cosmetics corporations who make face creams out of them:
http://voices.yahoo.com/human-foreskins-big-business-cosmetics-201840.html

>> No.10093289

>>10093238
Sux4u. Mine's always dripping down and onto the floor/my feet. Get better material?

>> No.10093311

>>10093282
I wish I could regenerate my foreskin so I could get circumcised again. The thought of women spreading my foreskin cream all over their faces is about the most erotic thing I've ever heard.

>One foreskin can be used for decades to grow $100,000 worth of fibroblasts.

Imagine if they were being used by young pop stars and loli beauty pageant contestants. Also MILFs.

>> No.10093314

>>10093282
I'm glad to know that my dick skin was on some woman's face. I'm certainly happier without it.

>> No.10093323

"I'm glad to know that my dick skin was on some woman's face. I'm certainly happier without it."
- Anonymous, 2012

>> No.10093324 [SPOILER] 
File: 304 KB, 940x600, Donggspotgone.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10093324

>>10093251

>We have crippled penises and got powned by the jews (again)
>Claim it is the best thing ever to not loose face (and not being depressed for having a monstruous dick)
>Bitches and whores are used to the cutted dicks after having engulfed 10 miles of it

And that's why everyone is a faggot and we can't have nice things (like a foreskin for example).

The statement of the girl in the vid is also retarded. When in erection the skin totally retract so it doesn't have a "turtle neck". Not our fault the guy she fucked was from some jap phimosis fetish doujins.

>> No.10093334

>>10090997
It's actually really therapeutic o.o

>> No.10093348

>>10090691
I'll never understand this.
I'm cut and I can't masturbate with lotion. Dry is the only option.

Maybe everyone else had some crazy doctor that did something wrong?

>> No.10093349
File: 101 KB, 800x800, 6686698.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10093349

>>10093334
wud u kiss it?

>> No.10093353
File: 19 KB, 418x204, quot ho.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10093353

>>10093324

>> No.10093373

>>10093348
4channers think circumcision involves cutting off the tip of your dick then removing any excess skin so that you only have just enough to get erect, and then sewing the tip back on half assedly.

They also think your head is permanently completely exposed thereafter, not realizing that when it gets soft, there's the skin will still partially cover it if you don't have a micropenis or only gain an inch when erect.

>> No.10093375

>>10093349
I'd kiss and nuzzle most of the asses posted in this thread.

>> No.10093389

>>10093373

There aren't such things as excess skin. When flaccid you have skin to cover your dick and when erect it retracts. Where exactly is the excess skin? Do the americunts are really subhuman scums with phimosis by default like asians?

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