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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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10082504 No.10082504 [Reply] [Original]

You are to be given one Touhou, in her entirety. She may not like you, but cannot use her powers nor trickery to usurp your ownership of her nor can she escape you.

Who would you pick, how would you treat her, and what would you do with her?

Yukari can't manipulate crazy borders for you and make you a god

They can't use their powers to go get more Touhous for you.

>> No.10082518

i'd pick whoever the fuck and set her free immediately because i'm not an asshole
fuck yer shit

>> No.10082521
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I think I'd start studying insects, since my new lovely assistant could so easily facilitate it.

>> No.10082527

I would pick Kogasa and make her feel useful and loved.

>> No.10082529

someone with benign powers who wouldn't miss much by not being in gensokyo

kogasa, maybe

>> No.10082534


Almost word for word what I was going to say.

Maybe Kogasa is really popular in the west?

>> No.10082539
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>She may not like you

Bullshit. I prepared all my life for this moment.

>> No.10082543
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I'd have Yuugi help me start a successful tavern in a cozy seaside town. We'd eventually raise a healthy family and I'd make her wear a collar in public every day so everyone would know who she belonged to.

>> No.10082545

That still doesn't mean she's going to like you.

>> No.10082553
File: 1.42 MB, 1500x1500, Mokou PNG (51).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd pick Mokou. She needs someone to hang out with anyways. I would treat her as I would my best friend. We'd hang out until I the day I die. It'd be fun.

What, did you expect me to try and eat her liver or something? Pfft, that's not what friends do to each other.

>> No.10082562


But she "Literally cannot die"

thanks to the Hourai elixir. You could put her in a blender and she would be fine!

>> No.10082566

Futo of course, I would love to show her some cool modern things, and also learn a little bit about Gensokyan Taosim.

>> No.10082567

``Literalize'' this
*writes an autism paper*

>> No.10082581

Wriggle so I could personally destroy her and take my time doing it.

>> No.10082599
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But she's a youkai and will regenerate unless you destroy her body completely and quickly.

I guess you could torture her forever then if you desired

>> No.10082602

Poor Wriggle

>> No.10082605

I'd snuggle up to her and let her take my life.

>> No.10082606

Yes. That sounds just fine. I'll pluck her antenna out over and over until I just have a box full of them.

>> No.10082609

>cannot use her powers nor trickery to usurp your ownership of her
>They can't use their powers to go get more Touhous for you.
can they still use their powers for other stuff?

>> No.10082608

Normally I'd say something cruel, but right now I feel sleepy, so I'll say Sanae because her breasts look like they would make comfortable pillows.

>> No.10082612
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I'll bump it tomorrow so you can say something cruel.

I pick Tenshi because not only could I break every bone in her body every single day, but she would be fine the next day, and would worship me for it.

>> No.10082624

Erin so I could force her to make me the hourai elixer then set her free

>> No.10082626
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Yukari nerfed because she is obvious choice (border of immortality/omnipotence)

>> No.10082628
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Fuck you.

>> No.10082634

Will someone explain Touhou to me? I hear about it quite a bit, and I'm not willing to invest more than 5 minutes of Google'ing into it.

>> No.10082638

then i pick eirin

>> No.10082639

Cute girls everywhere.

>> No.10082653

I'm thinking Eirin as well. In addition to the obvious hourai elixir, I could create a pharmaceutical company and we both could be very rich and live like royalty, after curing basically every disease ever.

We then would be hailed as gods amongst men and live a permanent life of luxury. I'll do my best to ensure that Eirin can retire quickly if she wants and treat her well, although I probably would not be romantically interested.

>> No.10082660
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Eirin! So I can become immortal (maybe).

Then go to Gensokyo. Why bring the Touhous to me when I can go to them.

Join Eientei for fun and profit.

>> No.10082663

To all Eirin-pickers, keep in mind that she would be limited to Earth's medicines, as the girl doesn't come with a portal to Gensokyo or any materials/servants from her home.

>> No.10082671

These guys are Right. Eirin is the best answer. I'll take the immortality and just hang out in a cabin sleeping all day until someone invents space travel. Maybe Eirin can invent that too.

>> No.10082674

eirin makes her own medicine

>> No.10082680

I'd take Mima so that she can be loved non ironically.

>> No.10082681


So, no hourai elixir.

Well, that's fine. That means she can just develop a cure for aging that's even better in some ways than the hourai elixir, as you can kill yourself if you want to.

>> No.10082682

If there were some retarded bullshit rules that prevented Eirin from making me immortal, then I'd choose Marisa.

She's a regular human who learned how to use magic. What's stopping me from doing the same, assuming I could convince her to teach me?

>> No.10082683
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Just eat her liver.

She's hourai too.

>> No.10082684


Yes, but in order to make the hourai elixir she needed kaguya's powers. She would not be able to make that particular elixir on our side.

But like I said here >>10082681, that's fine by me.

>> No.10082687

That's even better. I want to pick Eirin even more now.

>> No.10082690


I suppose I could. I would have to consider whether I truly wanted to be completely immortal. I would have her make me ageless in the meantime.

>> No.10082693


This was my initial response... I like Marisa a lot and being a magician would be crazy cool. I just worry about money and longevity too much. I'm just a worldly person, I guess.

>> No.10082700
File: 2.20 MB, 1805x876, Konachan.com - 77371 flandre_scarlet touhou.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


I think I would treat her well. Try to get her anything she wanted. I hope "nor can she escape you" means she can't destroy me. I'd try to get involved if she's interested.

We would go on a rampage.

>> No.10082708

Would you pick for practicality or one that you actually like?

>> No.10082712


As far as longevity goes, you could always just become a full magician. I have no qualms about giving up my 'humanity' to stop aging. I wouldn't even have to buy food anymore.

It's unclear whether Marisa KNOWS how to become a full magician and just has chosen not to, or if she doesn't know how to at all because she doesn't want to. For sure-fire Magician immortality, you'd have to go with Alice. She's much less of a barrel of fun, though.

>> No.10082717

I think choosing one for practicality makes it a little lame.

Maybe we can assume immortality isn't an option, or that everyone is immortal, since it seems like Eirin is the obvious choice. In the same way Yukari would be otherwise.

>> No.10082722
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>> No.10082723

i actually like eirin

>> No.10082744

Mystia, because Mystia is love.

Then again, I doubt I'd really want to bring her here with me. She'd lose all her friends and be doomed to live with a failure like me for the rest of her life.

>> No.10082755

get eirin to make me immortal
then tell her to fuck off

>> No.10082756

>Would you pick for practicality or one that you actually like?

Neither. I'd pick Rumia, because I could torture her and not feel guilty about it.

I've even thought about how I would do it. There is a torture called the "parrilla" that South American governments used against revolutionaries. Reportedly even hardened dissidents who earlier managed to resist other forms of torture (either staying silent or lying) broke down under prolonged application and told everything. It was a very simple device. You strap someone to a steel frame, clip an electrode to their genitals, then touch the other electrode to various parts of their body. As the torture continues you increase the voltage.

Anyway, I would torture Rumia until she said she was sorry for eating people and promised never to do it again, then I would keep going.

>> No.10082763

The one that can magically make money out of thin air. After I get my money she can go home.

>> No.10082770

I'd do that but with Wriggle until she promises to stop being shit.

>> No.10082777

edgy as HELL d00d

>> No.10082779

Money isn't hard to get at all. Your fantasies are so pedestrian.

>> No.10082784

You could use Rumia to commit all sorts of crimes and murders though. Just for shits and giggles. Hell, she would be more than happy to play along. The only other Touhou you get that with is Flandre.

>> No.10082785

It's better than thinking up some roleplay story, I tell ya what.

>> No.10082787

I would have my nails surgically painted black if it meant having a chance and harming Wriggle.

>> No.10082842
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Alright pals, see you tomorrow.

I'm going 2 sleep, gonna fap to thoughts of torturing Wriggle and Daiyousei until they are begging for death.



>> No.10082850

Edgy as fuck.

>> No.10082898
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1. Buy low-quality alcohol of your choosing.
2. Put in Yuugi's Dish.
3. Comes out top-quality alcohol of whatever you bought.
4. Drink up.

Not to mention:
Cuddle with Yuugi.
Workout with Yuugi.
Drink with Yuugi.
Treat Yuugi like an actual girl and make her blush.
And if I finally get her to actually like me, Kiss/Propose ect.

>> No.10082913

Suika if she comes with infinite booze.

>> No.10082931

She would, but it's only sake. And you never know what quality it's of.

Not to mention it's tailored for Oni, so you'd probably die of kidney failure or something pretty quickly.

>> No.10082963

Oh well, I'm an unsophisticated drinker that wouldn't know good booze from bad since I think it all tastes kind of bad. If I wanted to drink something good then I'd just drink juice or something. If it's tailored for Oni then that's just less that I have to drink to have a good time so I still come out on top.

>> No.10083050

If I went with Youmu, I'd prolly get pulled in by police or something.
So, between Yuuka and Kanako...
Screw it, I'mma swordfight with Youmu erryday.

>> No.10083065

I'll bet the fucking dork would be into larping too.

>> No.10083073
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>> No.10083079

Komachi. Death is nothing to sneeze at and she's pretty laid back already so I wouldn't have to worry about sudden changes in personality that I would disapprove of.

I think the only downside would be getting her to do anything.

>> No.10083097
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>owning a woman in any sense other than at some video game or "e sports" or whatever
Reminds me of the Ayakashi death cat arc

So Ran, I guess, just so Chen could slaughter through my whole apartment and murder me and my roomies.

>> No.10083104

Who are you quoting?

>> No.10083113

What is the Ayakashi death cat arc?

>> No.10083114

Are there any black Touhous? It's always been a fantasy of mine to own a black person.

>> No.10083116
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Engineering bros, plain and simple.

>> No.10083121

Ask Yukari to send you back in time with a bunch of money.

>> No.10083135

The preamble to that Mononoke anime. Fine piece of work, even better if you're into Touhou since it has essentially the same subject matter, and has some of the same sensibility to it.

>> No.10083144
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Utsuho without a doubt.
I have a fucking MASTER of Nuclear Fusion in my ownership that can bring HELL upon Gensokyo.
Who the fuck wouldn't want this bitch?

>> No.10083146

Patchouli and i would treat her with lobe and care.

>> No.10083155

>Ask Yukari to send you back in time with a bunch of money.

I wouldn't want to give up air conditioning and modern plumbing, even if it meant being able to own a black slave.

>> No.10083186

I don't want to own anyone, I want to be owned

>> No.10083194

Then play online video games some time.

>> No.10083221

Youmu will have to endure years of me tearfully screaming "You'll love me, I know it!".

>> No.10083300 [DELETED] 
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Battle Tolds
Toldasaurus Rex
The Elder Tolds
Lord of the Tolds
Assassins Told
Angel Tolds
Why so told?
Batman: The Dark Told
Spiderman: Friend or Told
Tribes Atold
Told of Duty 4: Modern Toldfare

>> No.10083305

I'm a filthy /v/ crossposter and I suck fat hairy dicks.

>> No.10083514

Lo u buttmad

>> No.10083531

Orin because she pissed me off. So bad.

I don't know. Really. Probably scream and curse at her while playing through SA. So then, she at least hears it! Besides that she can make dinner and fetch me diet soda. That would be grand.

>> No.10083682

Aya so she can write smut on people I don't like. Also free omelets.

>> No.10083698

I'd chose Keine, treat her well ( Giving her Mokou doujin ) and have some fun editing history

>> No.10083726

She is so bullyable. I'd pick on her every day so much, and just when she can't take the bullying anymore, I'd stop and tell her I'm sorry and that I love her and we can fall asleep loving each other in hugs.
Then the next day I continue to beat her and bully her.
Rake the leaves you dork freak! and then I punch her and knock her to the ground.

That would be great.

>> No.10083779

I'm sorry to ask. But did something like this happen to you?

>Rake the leaves you dork freak! and then I punch her and knock her to the ground.

>> No.10083801
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Just look up heroscape in the archive. I get it from my mom.

>> No.10083824
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Marisa, we'd get along like bros.

>> No.10084090

I doubt it.

>> No.10084127

If I pick Hina does this mean that I am immune to her aura of misfortune?

>> No.10084131
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"I'm not just your Umbrella anymore.
Please take good care of me."

>> No.10084165
File: 279 KB, 800x1170, yande.re 229435 kirisame_marisa susu touhou.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


We both have strong personalities. I imagine that I'd learn how to emulate her magic by just observing and analyzing her, and from that point on it would be a never-ending competition. That's if she never outright taught me what she knew, anyway.

A friendship with someone like that is something I've always wanted--a person who could so rival my abilities that we could build off of each-other and progress indefinitely.

I enjoy how unapologetic she is about her competency.

>> No.10084172

> I imagine that I'd learn how to emulate her magic by just observing and analyzing her, and from that point on it would be a never-ending competition.

Ughhh, where do you faggots come from?
You typed XxsasukexX wrong in the name field btw, duude.

>> No.10084192
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>> No.10084193
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Youmu, and we would travel the world together. I wish I was immortal though.

>> No.10084210

The prospect of studying something entirely new to science is very appealing to me. If magic were to exist, it would have to follow the same laws as everything else, which means that I would be able to mathematically represent whatever magical formulas Marisa might concoct, ergo I would be able to recreate them. This would, of course, require sufficient contact with her and her magic, but assuming that I did have some sort of ownership over her, this shouldn't be a problem.

Maybe I'd be able to put theoretical physics to good use, finally.

>> No.10084218
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you are the biggest loser i have ever seen get the FUCK off /jp/ if i see you in the street i'll snap you to bits

>> No.10084223

>it would have to follow the same laws as everything else
Then it wouldn't be magic.

>> No.10084232

There are three possibilities.

1. Magic does not exist, the laws of physics are the same.
2. Magic exists and conforms to the laws of physics, which stay the same.
3. Magic exists and the laws of physics conform to it, the laws of physics are changed.

In 1 and 2 the laws of physics remain unchanged, in 3 they are changed, but in all possibilities the laws of physics still govern what magic can and cannot do. Ergo, if magic were to exist, I would be able to mathematically represent and recreate it. So, in conclusion, my original statement must be true.

>> No.10084268

No, you're dumb.
Go to /a/ if you wanna try and look like a fucken homo again who thinks he's deep or smart.
Magic = no sense
math and magic are nto same same

>> No.10084274

in my opinion youre dumb.

>> No.10084285

Too much よくわかる現代魔法

>> No.10084295

No, you are wrong. Magic exists, it happens, and the laws of physics are irrelevant to the proceedings of magic. How did you fail to understand this most basic of concepts?

>> No.10084300

For any given thing to exist, it needs a way to exist, and magic would be no exception.

>> No.10084315

It is magic. It exists because it does, regardless of what should or should not be, regardless of what could or could not be, regardless of how or why things happen. Science means nothing to magic, and magic means nothing to science. They exclude each other. Science is attempting to understand the world as it occurs, and magic is making the world occur, because you want it to, without a reason, in spite of what actually should happen.

>> No.10084321

If there's magic, it "doesn't need a way to exist," not any more than electromagnetic force "needs a way to exist." It could just be there.

>> No.10084326

>In 1 and 2 the laws of physics remain unchanged, in 3 they are changed, but in all possibilities the laws of physics still govern what magic can and cannot do.
The "laws of magic," which you could call "the laws of physics but accounting for magic," could have mathematical representations too obnoxious, unintuitive, or pathologically behaved for you to usefully model them.

>> No.10084345

For example, a person can be mathematically modeled, but is too complex for you to have a reasonable chance of getting him to do what you want (like bake you a cake) based on any sort of physics-based mathematical model.

>> No.10084354

These arguments don't make sense, but then I suppose that's the point of them.

Magic doesn't exist in reality because it can't. Your explanation of magic is insufficient and is only functional in a poorly-written, non-deterministic, fictional universe.

Everything must have a cause and effect. For magic to exist, it would require the disregarding of cause, resulting in pure effect, which disobeys the law of conservation of mass and energy. Were this to be the case, the universe itself would inevitably become a singularity--if not one immediately after the introduction of magic as you describe it--and would cease to be able to harbor life as we know it.

The same could be said about our current laws of physics. Either way, it's conjecture.

>> No.10084356

Magic refers to things that operate outside of our current formal understanding of reality. If you successfully model something magic, it isn't magic anymore.

>> No.10084361

>Were this to be the case, the universe itself would inevitably become a singularity.
This doesn't follow. One can come up with a mathematical model of a universe in which mass and energy are not necessarily conserved. We have the laws because they agree with our observations of the world.

>> No.10084362

>One can come up with a mathematical model of a universe in which mass and energy are not necessarily conserved.
This would require an exact compensation for loss, and the result would be equivalent to our current system.

>> No.10084368

Anything that can be eventually will be. Anything that you can think of has a possibility, and any possibility has a probability, and any probability, however infinitely small, will eventually become true.

>> No.10084370

Yukarin... maybe Aya. Hard choice... but I would obviously pick one of my favorite Touhous and I would treat her with love and care.

>> No.10084373

No, it wouldn't. You could argue that the loss had to be quantifiable, but the idea of "compensation" is based on sensibility and is not logically required.

>> No.10084378

Everything you just said is completely baseless and wrong. It's your responsibility to provide logic, or otherwise provide evidence, for your argument.

It's not required for a universe to continue to exist, but human life and all life as we know it requires very specific conditions. If magic were to exist, we could not.

>> No.10084390

Honestly, my arguement was more of an opinion piece. I just posted it to see what you would say. It seems a little rude for you to just outright call it baseless and wrong though. I want an apology.

>> No.10084411

No. It was baseless and wrong.

1 = 0. Impossible, but I can "think of" it.

>> No.10084416

Apologize, you piece of shit.

>> No.10084424

>Yukari can't manipulate crazy borders for you and make you a god

Maybe not a god but at least have me become some sort of higher being maybe? Having absolute omnipotence doesn't seem that fun.
Oh and lifespan equaling the rest of hers.

>> No.10084471


We'd then live a comfortable life together funded by my capital gains for the remaining of my days.

>> No.10084489

Gonna steal that choice and use it for my own. Sans for the lack of romantic interest and instead replace it with romantic interest.

>> No.10084536
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I want to be Parsee's slave

She will make me jealous of everything and we will be hateful little bastards together

>> No.10084538

>She is so bullyable. I'd pick on her every day so much, and just when she can't take the bullying anymore, I'd stop and tell her I'm sorry and that I love her and we can fall asleep loving each other in hugs.

I would have her do this as well but I would beat her with the rake and put her ghost half in a bucket of freezing water.

>> No.10084550

She doesn't HAVE a lifespan.

>> No.10084554


You realize she would continuously be jealous of you and think you have it too good, so she would always be finding new ways to torture you, right?

>> No.10084560
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That's the point

>> No.10084562

pls don't bully wriggles ;;__;;

exactly that

>> No.10084564

I want you to be that Touhou for me. It seems there are so few people who can so thoroughly understand what they are arguing.

But in all seriousness, I'm surprised no one has picked Yukari to turn into a little girl.

>> No.10084569

"Bah, I'm jealous that you have such a loving master!I'm gonna have to be more rough!"

>> No.10084575
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I want to lick her feet clean while she calls me a worthless human being

>> No.10084645

Ran(assuming she can keep her human form). I'd let her do some cooking and cleaning etc. I'd brush her tails and rub her ears and generally dote over her.

>> No.10084704

Parsee would be fun to hang out with. Pair up and go out to places lovers gather and harass people.

To help blend in, we would of course take part in some of the activities and motions of a couple.

After a while, parsee starts to enjoy the preamble more than the event itself.

We still go out of our way to ruin other peoples' days though, because fuck them and their happiness.

>> No.10086087

I'll go with Kogasa. I take good care of my things. She would be in good hands, and I would get a trusty friend. You can never have too much of them.

>> No.10086153


I'd ask her to teach me the basics of magic in return for setting her free. I figure as a human magician she would be the best bet for that.

If she doesn't agree, I'd set her free anyway, what kind of monster do you think I am?

>> No.10086722

rumia just so i could pull the ribbon off in the middle of NYC

>> No.10087010

I would keep kogasa in a cage outside.

In the rain.

>> No.10087082
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What would I do to suwako?

(Text is basically the guy taunting her and threatening to exterminate her)

>> No.10087180
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I'd go with Patchouli. We would spend quiet evenings reading about topics of our interest while having some tea. Marisa would be cool too.

>> No.10087243

What about Alice?

>> No.10087261
File: 249 KB, 600x800, 1278559748406.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

if Eirin still have her knowledge of chemistry, even though alchemy wouldn't work, I could still still have her cooking up whatever medicines tickle my fancy and dose me right into my eyelids. I could even start supplying to stupid college freshmen if I'm ever in need of money.

Additionally, it would be great to have someone intelligent to talk to when I'm not tripping balls.

>> No.10087405
File: 281 KB, 800x800, 1341034957744.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Can I just let her go? I wouldn't want her to hate me.

>> No.10087464

Yeah that's allowed.

>> No.10087506

I feel like being mean to one of the 2hu. I don't know where this feeling came from, but I just do.
I want to do something dirty, but not life-threatening or scarring(like rape).
I want to take a Touhou and fondle her feet while she looks at me in disgust and tries to squirm until she's free. I want to put her feet on my warm crotch while she calls me bad things and tries to pull away.
Then, I want to let her go, so I can cry alone in silence and feel bad for doing it.

>> No.10087517

Don't we all.

>> No.10087518
File: 559 KB, 1600x1600, - 1291915441043.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm glad the other people that would choose Patchouli would also treat her with love and enjoy the prospect of reading together. I wouldn't mind Sakuya either.

>> No.10087529

I'm torn between picking one I would actually enjoy and picking one that I hate and would do horrible things to out of pure spite.

>> No.10087540

Not to mention discussing the respective magics of our worlds.

>> No.10087557


If I had Patchy, I would.... oh, crap. Normally I am a 2hu rapist but I cannot to Patchy.

She is too nice.

>> No.10087559
File: 666 KB, 1500x1500, 1330993437387.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Satori, hard abuse.

>> No.10087582

I'd settle for doing that because I'm far too selfish for my own good. I want too much from my favorite Touhou. I want to be loved by her, and hated, but also insulted and simultaneously ignored.
I want her to allow me to touch her, but at the same time I want her to walk past me with a disgusted look, choosing to ignore me for the rest of her life.
I want more than a Touhou could possibly give, and it hurts me on the inside.

>> No.10087589

Thank you. She deserves respect.

>> No.10087605
File: 1.12 MB, 1072x1500, 13.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

but Patche has the lewdest figure.

>> No.10087617

mokou, eat liver = INFINITE FUCK TOY

>> No.10087615


I would hard abuse her as well, and I would immediately lemon juice/pepper that eye-heart of hers.

>> No.10087626

Patchouli, I think she already used to being owned since Remilia owns her.

>> No.10087632

Also I would let Patchouli do anything she wants, except she has to teach me magic for an hour a day.

>> No.10087649
File: 755 KB, 1240x1753, 1334017551584.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Right on. It's the only way.

>> No.10087656

I want her look in disgust as my cum shoots out all over her feet, as she realizes with a look of defeat that she can do nothing to stop me. And then, I want to see her cry, not silently, but sobbing, so I can cuddle her and reassure her that things are okay. Only to do it all over again every night for the rest of eternity.

>> No.10087669


God dammit, why is this so similar to me?!

Who would you do it with, anon?

>> No.10087673


Where do you find your Satorabuse?

>> No.10087678

You bet. She'd be even more scared watching two people reign supreme over her. Then we'd have to switch off every time. Whoever cums/plays with her feet first cuddles last and so on.

>> No.10087693
File: 1.64 MB, 512x384, Meiling.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It will not be an ownership, but a partnership.
I will learn under her as a student learns from the master, and live out our lives afterwards in glorious [camaraderie].

>> No.10087699

I'd give her unlimited access to my booze supply and go on an adventure with her. I don't really have much use for a slave, I'd rather just have a friend.

>> No.10087703

Whoever doesn't goes first gets a forced footjob with her cum-covered feet.

>> No.10087708


It's a deal then!
Also nightly tortures for her eyes, all three of them.

>> No.10087717
File: 1.99 MB, 1181x1748, 1309412987619.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Okuu. I would treat her with gentle kindness and affection and make her feel like the most beautiful, loved girl in Gensokyo. I'd help her out at the reactor and keep her company, and hopefully we'd get some free time to snuggle and wing hug.

>> No.10087713

Afterwards though. I want her third eye seeing exactly what's happening to her feet!

>> No.10087751

But what if she starts to develop feelings for you, anon? Or you to her? What will you do then?

>> No.10087747


Yeah, then we can put her in a cage outside in the rain, assuming she isn't going to be in our beds, which she probably will, begging for tortures to stop.

>> No.10087748
File: 60 KB, 650x750, 96de2287fbebb634580e1b648a659a32.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I would give her attention that she somehow lacks in this thread and in SDM by hanging out and talking to her everyday even though I'm not good at keeping up conversations.

>> No.10087763

There's a third guy with us? You jumped in while I was out.
I'll keep her in my room. She'll be tired and in need of cuddling.

>> No.10087762

>snuggle and wing hug.

I've changed my mind on my Touhou. I'm think I'm going to go with Okuu now.

>> No.10087767

You could talk about danmaku, then slap her across the face for killing you in EoSD

>> No.10087779
File: 21 KB, 266x379, naughty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.10087782
File: 22 KB, 320x320, 1339801099020.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Then we'd stay the course, but now as lovers.

>> No.10087789
File: 299 KB, 480x537, 30468270.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

But can you learn to love her as much as me?

>> No.10087791

Maybe, but deep down I love my Touhou with all my heart and soul and would die protecting them.

>> No.10087815

If you want I'd keep your tohou for you.

>> No.10087817

Challenge accepted.

>> No.10087819
File: 46 KB, 780x575, kawaii girl watching tv.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm happy to hear it.

>> No.10087824
File: 221 KB, 720x900, 4c8916b074cda6d6ce1a6a7d32c08e58.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Yoshika I guess. I've always wanted a mentally retarded but adorable pet.

>> No.10087832

How can you say you love her if you can't take off her socks and shoes and lick and smell her smelly irradiated feet.
I'd stop if she truly asked. Is there marriage in Gensokyo?

>> No.10087849
File: 133 KB, 800x1111, 18851068.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Who said I wouldn't? Not that she's radioactive anyway. Fusion Reactor shielding keeps that shit under control.

>> No.10087859

I'd do it more.

>> No.10087866


>> No.10087871
File: 636 KB, 1024x1536, eb7bb19bb6699836961904e0066639ef.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

She's ready anon. Go prove yourself.

>> No.10087872

Is that a yes, man? (or girl depending on whether or not that name is just a name.)

>> No.10087891

To all you Okuu-pickers...

Please deal with Israel for us.

>> No.10087898

Yes, it's like how little girls say "yes" in anime.

>> No.10087907
File: 276 KB, 600x480, proof.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

"Oh Okuu, yes! Now take off those socks and we can really begin. I can smell them from here."
I'm getting married!

>> No.10087925

Wait where do I get married?! Do I have to have a formal ceremony in the Scarlet Devil Mansion?

>> No.10087929


>> No.10087931

No, silly. You go to a religious site like the Hakurei or Moriya shrines.

>> No.10087933

>They can't use their powers to go get more Touhous for you.
Does that mean they can use their powers to get more Touhous for other people?
Does that mean I can potentially sell touhous for profit?

>> No.10087939

Does Reimu run it? Or what if I'm marrying Reimu? Does she still run it?

>> No.10087942

No idea. Good luck with that!

>> No.10087947

Fuck. I don't even have a foot fetish and this picture gave me a boner. Maybe because I've never seen Okuu give a footjob before.

>> No.10087960

Then look at this. Even better. http://images.4chan.org/jp/src/1353383565115.jpg

>> No.10087975

Aren't shrine maidens supposed to never get married?

>> No.10087984

They're not nuns; they can get married.
How else would the Hakurei line survive?

>> No.10087986
File: 88 KB, 614x300, Okuu Gulp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.10088020

Is it possible to be Christian and Shinto?

>> No.10088047

I guess?
Believe what you want to; just don't pick sides.

>> No.10088063

According to the bible no
According to shinto kind of, with enough jiggery-pokery
Common sense says "who cares, be what you want to be"

>> No.10088101

As far as I'm aware, there are no creator gods in Shintoism, only "kami" which are essentially nature spirits. The Bible does say "thou shalt have no gods before me," but I see nothing in Shintoism that contradicts that commandment.

>> No.10088104

All the laws and rules in the bible are shit. Many of them were written for a bunch of filthy primitives who couldn't take care of themselves. Rules against "filthy" things to keep good health in a time without proper medicines; rules against certain sexual practices to promote population growth; foreign policies to prevent their culture from being polluted; various laws to keep the church in control; laws to prohibit differing beliefs; etc.

>> No.10088241

I'm pretty sure that would then fall under witchcraft or the worship of idols.

Granted, we're talking about die-hard protestant Christianity here. A Catholic would probably be able to spin the kami as angels or some shit. I mean, fuck, it's Catholicism. All I have to do is stand up and sit down at the right times, eat my stale biscuit, drink some wine that's gone off, and drop a dollar or euro or peso in the collection plate. Why do I gotta memorize the Bible like I was writing the LSAT?

>> No.10088276

I would take Ran, so eventually Yukari and Chen will hunt me down and whoop my ass.
Alternate ending, I convince the three of them to live a while in this world.

>> No.10088290

>Not moving in with them
What's wrong with you?

>> No.10088300

I would have to prove than Im nice, so I would invite them first. Than, I would ask politely to move in with them.
My, my ano-kun. You have such bad manners.

>> No.10088310

>They move in with you so you can move in with them
I'm sorry?

>> No.10088318

Its courtesy. I invite them first.
It would be rude to kindap Ran, and then ask them to move in with them.
Remember that they may or may not like me.

>> No.10088325

But if you move in with them after they move in with you, you'll still be in the same place!

>> No.10088343

I mean that they would take me back to Gensokyo with them.
Lemme explain again.
1) Ran magically appears with me, since she cant transport back like Yukari.
2) I am nice to Ran, so that she will like me.
3) Eventually, Yukari will come back for her, with intentions of whooping my ass.
4) Ran will stand up for me.
5) Since Yukari still doesnt trust me yet, I invite her to stay a while at my house.
6) I treat her the best way possible.
7) When they are about to leave, I ask politely to take me with them, offering my services as meido.
8) Profit.

>> No.10088359
File: 90 KB, 500x400, 1290313371696.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Oh, okay.
As long as they react as you hope they will.

It really would be a shame if they didn't.

>> No.10088370

Yeah, of course it would. And it would end badly. (for me.)

>> No.10088384
File: 436 KB, 637x861, CRAZY AS FUCK1352511303315.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

this is how you "bully" wriggle

>> No.10088420

And I assume you'll impregnate all of them in the process?

>> No.10088426

My seed is not worthy of impregnating them.

>> No.10088443

But what if they beg for it?

>> No.10088445

I'm sure many of you have seen this, but this is related.


>> No.10088453

I hope I can do the same with Meiling :3

I don't get it.

>> No.10088461

What, you want Meiling to impregnate you? You a homo, anon?

>> No.10088467
File: 236 KB, 319x454, 1272762282483.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I, uh, sure.
I meant the other way around, but I'm very okay with that too.

>> No.10088580

Are you implying we're crazy/weird?

>> No.10088714
File: 112 KB, 1000x742, 1324710904994.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd let her go on the condition that she must train me at sword use for a decade.
If it turns out that I am already better than her, I'll let her go and offer to teach her.

>> No.10088797

You got your wooden stick ready?

>> No.10088802

>If it turns out that I am already better than her
It's cute how you even pretend to believe this is at all a possibility.

>> No.10088821

Youmu, as my loyal servant. She already serves yuyuko unquestioningly, plus I'm sure I could get her to make me money and support my NEET lifestyle somehow.

My favorite 2hu is useless alone.

>> No.10088824

Don't pick your favorite then.

>> No.10088839
File: 396 KB, 800x684, 1351449550952.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Easiest decision I've ever made.

>> No.10088842

Explain why. She seems like a horribly impractical decision.

>> No.10088850

There's two very good explanation just in that pic alone. Do you really need any more?

>> No.10088852


>> No.10088861

My favorite Touhou, whose name I won't say because /jp/ would bully her. I would keep her for a week and let her go if she dislikes me by the end of the week, which she probably will.

>> No.10088865

I want to spray her with bug spray the second she steps out of your house.

>> No.10088874
File: 260 KB, 800x1058, BySho.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Shou, I think it'd comfy to just have her around.

>> No.10088886
File: 391 KB, 600x600, 76aa7c7d496765e2c7e96463072de3c0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

No mercy for Hina, that spinning bitch, I would shackle her in a way that would prevent her from spinning forever!

and then cuddle her

>> No.10088904
File: 354 KB, 800x800, 13028722_big_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Nice try. But wrong.

She's not actually an often-bullied Touhou I just didn't want to take the chance.

>> No.10088913

Well I'm still going to pick Wriggle so I can cover her in bug spray and stuff her in a barrel that I am going to roll down a hill and into a tub of even more bug spray at the bottom.

>> No.10088929


Bug spray hurts everyone, and might even be more effective against asthmatic patchy.

>> No.10088932

i want to bully her________HER COCK________

>> No.10088938
File: 84 KB, 400x300, gokiburi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Same. I'd force her to fuck one of these.

>> No.10088942
File: 44 KB, 409x500, ww1334751619162.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

give her the pussy!

>> No.10088962

And I'd whack her with a fly swatter while she fucks the roach catcher.

>> No.10088999 [SPOILER] 
File: 286 KB, 1279x1000, LEWD AND CRAZ1352835573625.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

i want to stomp/kick her until se fucks the bug zapper

punishing her for being a boy

>> No.10089004
File: 99 KB, 600x600, 4e4ce78c0a4ee1b1a35d71be351a3c6c.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I wish you guys would stop already.

Dammit, even you, sparky?

>> No.10089016

I'd rather skip the bug zapper step and just shoot her with a stun gun as she cums into the roach catcher. Afterwards she'll be too weak to even get up and I'll pour out the roach catcher onto her face and tell her to go clean herself up.

>> No.10089020

yes Wriggle needs to stop being a boy!!!!
even if she is one, she needs to be a girl!!!

>> No.10089026

soo lewd..... i am getting wet....

>> No.10089023

Even then I would punish her for being shitty at being a girl.

>> No.10089043
File: 116 KB, 559x760, a3892cfd19f544a3cd39c1e0dbd99f63.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Wriggle is fine the way she is!

>> No.10089052

Fine for the bullying that is. I'd feel bad if I chose someone that didn't suck to make miserable.

>> No.10089053
File: 182 KB, 905x1280, koishi depressiontumblr_ljlzwlu4NO1qaykjwo1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I see wriggle is crying after me bullying the shit out of her.......

>> No.10089057

If you were a girl I'd kick you in the cunt for being ugly.

>> No.10089080
File: 81 KB, 600x407, 1323296119981.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Touhous are not for bullying!

>> No.10089084

You're right with the exception of Wriggle.

>> No.10089088
File: 54 KB, 700x900, 9339640fdf9d14ea779f9aefc9e81148.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

None of them! Especially not Wriggle!

>> No.10089094

Please don't bully Wriggle-chan. She is pure, innocent, and doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

>> No.10089100
File: 172 KB, 1022x768, BAKA1349525946455.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

wriggle is an exception

>> No.10089107


She is shit and filth a fucking bug, i'll treat her like I do other pest...I will squish her nasty insect

>> No.10089108
File: 475 KB, 1050x750, 3fc03b344f433f685a5a768f5a83237d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

No exceptions.

>> No.10089122

This. I will constantly reminder her of the filthy bug that she is as I abuse her until I run out of creative ways to use bug killing paraphernalia.

>> No.10089123

Please don't say things you don't mean, it hurts other people's feelings.

>> No.10089129
File: 608 KB, 826x1169, crazy!111762782.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

she looks like a boy

>> No.10089134

she needs to stop being a boy!!!!

even if she has a PENIS

>> No.10089137
File: 68 KB, 700x300, 1310059899000.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

So I can't even bully Tenshi? Man, fuck you, I thought you were cool.

>> No.10089145
File: 118 KB, 600x600, murder.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.10089150
File: 537 KB, 900x720, 1339492631340.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You wouldn't last a second.

She is a girl, with lady parts!

>> No.10089153

I wouldn't go as far as murder though. There is no fun in bullying a corpse that can't even react. I'd make sure she stays alive even by a string.

>> No.10089158

Oh but in the context of OP's scenario she wouldn't be able to do a thing about it.

>> No.10089184
File: 1.40 MB, 1000x1202, rumia1345527768876.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

ice burn

>> No.10089193
File: 172 KB, 1240x1754, 1dc050c04b335b43429707777b48b672.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'll free her myself.

I was never cool.

>> No.10089200
File: 176 KB, 513x677, Yuuka CRAZY1344279178891.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Wriggle is my Transgender victim!!!


>> No.10089205

I think you're cool, friend.

>> No.10089214

Go paper your crappy copy of Wriggle. This one is mine for the spraying.

>> No.10089216

See, there are more people that want to harm Wriggle than save her. You can never hope to beat all of them.

>> No.10089218
File: 2.84 MB, 4617x3161, a011bebc3a2a95201b93a182e3082f6a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Just try and stop me.

>> No.10089220

Okay. You choose.

>> No.10089240

Dying for Wriggle is the best death I can think of.

I don't think it's right for the challenger to do so.

You might be the only one.

>> No.10089251

Anyone who likes Wriggle is a friend of mine. I'll help you beat these bullies up.

Maybe tomorrow though, I'm kind of tired.

I better not see you bullies abusing Wriggle tomorrow, this is a place for friends!

>> No.10089254

Even if your death is in vain? I would make sure Wriggle knew that she had a defender that died for nothing. That would add to her suffering I'd like to think.

>> No.10089265
File: 126 KB, 515x629, a3ed8de948feb25007fd38e78c3924fd.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I won't die before I assure her freedom from your bullying.

I appreciate the help, comrade! Good night.

>> No.10089268

You may try, but you will fail.

>> No.10089269


Why does everyone keep calling Wriggle a girl, when he's clearly a cute boy? Please respect his sexual identity.

>> No.10089274
File: 96 KB, 500x706, 20120505_1221_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I like Wriggle, too. She's cute.

I'll take you all on. Come at me, nerds.

>> No.10089279
File: 650 KB, 1198x1300, 1fd807206ef3d036330a761c9c95b20f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Whatever will be, will be. But I won't give up until I win.

She's clearly a girl with a taste for boyish fashions.

>> No.10089295

God fucking dammit guys, roleplaying belongs in /tg/.

>> No.10089299

>God fucking dammit guys, roleplaying belongs in /tg/.

Make a Touhou thread there and I'll post in it.

>> No.10089314

I'm sorry.

>> No.10089334

Don't you even fucking think about touching Patchy.

>> No.10089559

I'm with you.

>> No.10089705
File: 530 KB, 1280x1300, 28817138.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Explain why you think she's impractical and I'll explain for that guy why she is likely an easy decision.

>> No.10089742


>> No.10089780

She isn't radioactive though.s

>> No.10090574

I'll buy one Yuuka, please. No need to wrap the package.

>> No.10090854

She's got large wings that will probably knock shit over even when folded, she's dumb and packing lots of firepower which is never a good combination, especially in a regular home setting, and you may or may not get cancer from prolonged exposure to her.

>> No.10090994

>She's got large wings that will probably knock shit over even when folded

An extremely minor annoyance at best, but more likely not an actual problem or legitimate concern as she can probably retract her wings just like Aya.

>she's dumb and packing lots of firepower which is never a good combination

All thats proven about her intellect in canon is that she merely does not have good short term memory, and that she can forget things after receiving a concussion and being knocked out, but she isn't pants on head retarded. She operates and maintains a fusion reactor on her own which makes her more intelligent than most Touhous, plus she is a raven which are scientifically proven to be one of the most intelligent species on earth. The dumbest of ravens would still be more intelligent than most species. Even if you argue that the reason she knows how to operate a fusion reactor is merely intuitive, intuition is still a form of intelligence. it's more likely that she knows how to operate the reactor because she is simply smart.

>and you may or may not get cancer from prolonged exposure to her.

If we were to even assume that Okuu was radioactive, she would have to be a living, bipolar Fusion Reactor in the form of a human. Ignoring the absurdity of that notion, even if she was, all possible fusion reactor designs are meant to be safe and pose no health risks to workers. They are so safe, that they don't even possess the same catastrophic risks that current day Fission reactors do. If anything disrupts a Fusion reaction, the reactor simply shuts down. In other words, they are disaster proof.

>> No.10091041

Oh okay then. Enjoy your pick.

>> No.10091117

Alice or Patchy have quite an impressive repertoire of spells. Do either of them have a spell that could permanently make me into a woman?

If so, I'd choose either and give them back their freedom and give them most of my worldly possessions in exchange for giving me the correct body, as well as anything else within my power to grant (within reason).

>> No.10091140
File: 153 KB, 1000x1000, 713cbd28f3cbda8125cdd30554319dea46d42744.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Keine, obviously.

>> No.10091174


>> No.10091345

Have you seen Mai Chan's Daily Life. She could go through with that

>> No.10091408

Going to pick whichever one puts out the easiest when you treat them nice.

>> No.10091426

I can't believe none of you fags have picked Rinnosuke. I mean really? Are you gay or something?

>> No.10091450

Damn. My time on /gsg/ and /tg/ has clouded my judgement. I keep on thinking whose powers I would benefit from the most. I mean Sakuya can freeze time, Remilia can change fate, Nitori is an engineer, Aya and Hatate can perform espionage, Utusho has control over nuclear physics, Flandre is powerful enough on her own and her powers were never given an explicit limit, Yukuri is fucking Yukuri so who gives a shit if I can't get more or become a god. I mean its hard to chose when you've been thing of how to conquer the world for a while.

>> No.10091692


>> No.10094559

Kaguya. I'd eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

>> No.10095007

As far as I know, she only regulates the output and powers the reactor, which can be done through pure intuition of her powers alone. That's like saying a cashier is a master of the underlying workings of computers because they can intuitively use a cash register.

>she can probably retract her wings just like Aya.
Don't go around flaunting canon and proofs when you jump to conjectures like this in the same fucking post. Until I see otherwise, she can't make her wings magically disappear, and she'll inevitably bump things.

>plus she is a raven which are scientifically proven to be one of the most intelligent species on earth. The dumbest of ravens would still be more intelligent than most species.
Somewhat irrelevant. How many dumb humans do you know? Even if you belong to a species that's supposedly the pinnacle of animal intelligence, you can still, as an individual, be as dumb as a brick.

>intuition is still a form of intelligence.
And inability to remember things is a sign of stupidity. I don't see where you're going with this.

>Possessing a divine spirit means becoming like a walking branch shrine. [...] The easiest way would be to have a completely hollow head.
Speculations, but it makes sense. She's a birdbrain to begin with, hence why she was able to accept the Yatagarasu so easily. She doesn't really use her brains that much, 'sall.

Okuu isn't bad by any means, but trying to defend her by making her out to be something she's not is just...

>> No.10095918

And trying to make her seem like a bad Touhou by saying she is radioactive and would knock shit over with her wings is just grasping at straws, especially when there is zero evidence of it.

>> No.10095992

I'll abduct Hina. I'll make her feel loved and appreciated. And even seeping misfortune will not scare me. That's small fry compared to usual hardships my people handle.

>> No.10095992,1 [INTERNAL] 

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