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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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10044970 No.10044970 [Reply] [Original]

The Loli Reaper comes one day to take your life, as it is your time (You are dying of acute terminal autism),but upon seeing what a sad little faggot you are, she takes pity on you. After patting your head and nullifing your acute terminal autism so that it's just regular autism, she offers you one of four gifts before she leaves.

1. The Piggu Bank of Spare Change

A piggy bank with an open mouth-but instead of putting change in it, change will pour from it's mouth. Any change that is lost on the streets, in couch cushions, cars, stores, or whatever, is teleported to your piggy bank and expelled. You can use the money for anything you wish, but if you tell anyone about your piggy bank, it will explode into hot ceramic pieces and kill you and your family. It will only transport change that is lost in your state, province or whatever administrative district that is in effect in your country. You may use the change for whatever you wish. The only downside is that you must roll all the change yourself by hand.

>> No.10044972

>>10044970
2. Waifu.exe

A program that launches a window where your waifu is recreated with an AI of human-intelligence and the same personality, knowledge, mannerisms etc of your waifu. You may talk to her about whatever you wish, ask her to do lewd things for you, etc. But you can only interact with her with your computer-if a device is manufactured in your lifetime that allows virtual reality, you will be able to be with her in that manner. You may also attach teledildonics and such-the program is compatible with any device you can attach to your computer. Your waifu further develops as you interact with her, and she will have a normal memory. Time only passes for her when you run the program. The only person she knows of existing is you-but she has knowledge and memories of the other characters that she interacted with in her universe, and may or may not fall in love with or like you. The program is provided on an indestructable pendrive that also stores all memory and the like. It will never break down, but your waifu will also never forget anything you say or do to her. You may not sell, copy or share the program.

>> No.10044978

>>10044972
3.Bishoujo Ghostu

An attractive female ghost will inhabit your home and be your friend and lover. You may alternatively ask for a male one, if you wish. The ghost can become semi-corporeal, and you can see them very well-though they are slightly transparent. The ghost is of average attractiveness,plain but not ugly, and her personality will be chosen at random by the Loli reaper's hypersided grim dice of human traits and mannerisms-however, she will uncondtionally love you. The Ghost will disappear when you die. No one else can see the ghost. The ghost will never hurt you (Unless you're into that and ask). The ghost will respect your privacy if you ask.

4. The Mystery Box

No promises. The loli reaper offers no hints one way or another. Will be revealed after 35 posts. Afte 35 posts have been created, the box cannot be chosen.

>> No.10044980

EPIC /V/ THREAD *fArTz*

>> No.10045010
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10045010

>>10044980

These types of threads are a newly-minted /jp/ feature specific to /jp/.

>> No.10045024

I'll take the program.

>> No.10045030

>ever not choosing the mystery box
Number three. No matter what she looks like or her personality, being emotionally needed is all I could ever wish for.

>> No.10045040

>>10045030
what if she rips smelly ghost farts?

>> No.10045054

>>10045040
>The ghost will never hurt you...
It doesn't specify any kind of pain, so I choose to include the olfactory pain of smelly ghost farts.

>> No.10045138

>the mistery box will definitely turn you into a litte girl

this does not belong on /jp/

get back to /a/

>> No.10045148

>>10045138

>mistery box

>> No.10045159

mystery box mang

>> No.10045175

Mystery box, mystery box!

>> No.10045234

>>10045024
same here

>> No.10045262

>>10044970

Mystery box. All other options are shit.

>> No.10045337

Piggu bank

>> No.10045351

I pick the ghost, and will use her other/netherworldly insights to gain power beyond comprehension in the mortal realm.

I will ultimately achieve everlasting life/unlife to spend with her through these exploits.

>> No.10045354
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10045354

>>10044970
Mystery Box cannot possibly be better than ghost. #3 all the way.

Is this model of ghost avaible, OP?

>> No.10045362

>>10045040
How can she fart if she doesn't eat? Or respirate?

>> No.10045399

Spare change is tempting because them 10euro coins, but it's too materialistic.

waifu.exe only runs on M$ shit, do not want, also too restrictive, she'd be unhappy.

Ghost might be cool, but too many drawbacks, I'd rather try to get a tulpa while living off spare change.
>>10045054 is almost a dealbreaker. And maybe ghost blowjobs. woo woo woo.

The ghost personality is as random as the mystery box, and that's no good.

That'll be a mystery box for me.

>> No.10045428

Ghost will be nice. Spare change would have been nice, if I wasn't making much more than it'd earn me in the same amount of time. Waifu.exe is too much of a risk. I could realistically see us growing apart and neither of us will be happy about it. Mystery Box is also too much of a gamble. It's like pure risk in a can and I can't put my money on it. So yeah. Ghost.

> captcha: pansmex beyond
Seems to agree with me alright.

>> No.10045445

>>10045428
I don't know what country you live in, but at least in Canada where the maximum coin currency is unusually low, rolling $2 coins at full speed by hand would land about $200 a minute. $200 a minute is, well, enough to do basically anything you want, unless you want ridiculously wasteful things

>> No.10045453

>>10045362

Ghosts are basically magic, so I have no need to explain.

>>10045354

Ghost model is determined at random by the Loli-Reapers hypersided dice. It's entirely random-However, she will fall within the range of "Moderate attractiveness/average-looks/not ugly"

>> No.10045462
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10045462

WHO THE FUCK ISN'T GOING FOR THE MYSTERY BOX?

1 mystery box plz

>> No.10045467 [DELETED] 

>>10045462
>>10045453
>>10045445
>>10045428
>>10045399
>>10045362
>>10045354
>>10045351
>>10045337
>>10045262
>>10045234
>>10045175
>>10045159
>>10045148
>>10045138
>>10045054
>>10045040
>>10045030
>>10045010
samefag

>> No.10045481

>>10045467
>I don't know how to check for samefag, but I bet it would be funny if I said that everyone in this thread was the same person.
Translated from Idiot. I used to be fluent until I graduated middle school.

>> No.10045491

Shitty options today. Mystery box onegai

>> No.10045498

>>10045481
so fucking random xD lel

>> No.10045504
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10045504

Hey fags, Ryougi Shiki might be in that box. Why don't you pick the box?

She might even let you sell her strawberry ice-cream farts.

>> No.10045508

>>10045498
This one seems to incorporate a recent slang that wasn't incorporated into speech when I spoke it. I think it either means
>That greentext is exactly what I was thinking, and that makes me so infuriated that I'm going to make another stupid post
or
>I'm not sure what he's implying, but for some reason it makes me so infuriated that I'm going to make another stupid post

>> No.10045524

>>10045508
lel when are you gonna be a comedian xD

>> No.10045525

>>10045508
Thanks, your translation effort is appreciated. I used to speak habitual liar in case you ever need work done on that front.

>> No.10045648

I need to know what the fuck is in that box

Please respond so we can hit 50 posts

>> No.10045671

>>10045648
It's only 35 this time.

I made it shorter because there are fewer posts this time of day.

>> No.10045680

>>10045671
okay

>> No.10045686

mystery box please

>> No.10045687

+1

>> No.10045702

Can't you keep this shit on /b/ - Forum Games?

>> No.10045708
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10045708

>>10045702

Because /jp/ is displaying so many quality threads right now.

>> No.10045709

>>10045702
I believe you just made the thirty-fifth post, if you don't count OP's.
So thanks for that. You made us able to find out what those poor sots who didn't choose number three got.

>> No.10045710

>>10045708
I'd rather have 10 shitpost threads than one shitty ripoff of an epic /v/ thread.

>> No.10045712

>>10045708
>Everyone's raping and looting, I should rape and loot too!

>> No.10045715

mystery box for me

>> No.10045721

Anyone who doesn't take the money is kind of a faggot.

>> No.10045722

>>10045715
Too late, my friend. Try again.

>> No.10045729
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10045729

Congratulations, the box has been opened!

You become a reaper as well. You are forced to work 40 hour weeks visting people and taking their souls back to the interdimensional soul factory for permanent destruction. You are immortal. You are paid what is considered a high-medium wage. On the bright side, you live with the cute loli reaper the entire time and she eventually falls in love with you. Everything in the Interdimensional Soul Realm looks like an anime, as well as yourself. You may choose to end your existence after 500 years of service at the soul factory if you wish.

>> No.10045736

>>10045729
Good enough.

>> No.10045739

>>10045729
>immortal
>40 FREAKING HOURS
i take the mystry box plox XDD lel

>> No.10045744
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10045744

>>10045729

>> No.10045835

>>10045445
What? No, you must have misunderstood the description, genius. It said that you'd only get the spare change lost in your own local government division. If an average of 5 $2 coins are lost in your local area per minute, that won't amount to a lot of things. Also note that it specifically says spare change, meaning you'll never get any higher denomination than the highest coin value. Here, that translates to 1.2$ a minute, and I don't even know about that. I live in such a shithole that I don't imagine loose change will stay loose change for long come the wandering hobos.

>> No.10045853
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10045853

>>10045835

Once change is lost in your government division, it will be considered loose change and be teleported to the Piggu Bank.

Also, an average of 10 dollars per minute, 24-hours-a day is 240 dollars a day. That's 7200 dollars in a 30-day month. And it won't be taxed. That's a lot of money to buy alcohol and figures.

>>
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