/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Why are you playing classic casual OP?

Classic competitive is much more fun.

>>9997458
Because I can't dedicate myself into sitting 90 minutes playing a video game. Worse if it is a Russian/Swedish server. They can't take it easy.

I've played /jp/sies in classic comp but I've never outed myself as one of you since you all suck.

>>9997479
it SAYS 90 minutes, but that's only if each and every round goes until the time limit.

I've never seen one match go to the time limit, they usually take under half an hour.

CoD is better.

I play classic casual because its more fun

Does anyone want to play with me

Ze epic headshot

>>9997539
whats ur ign

>>9997479
Same here, I can't even play more than 40 minutes or so, but I think that's because most games are repetitive. For that reason I can play ArmA II for 3 hours straight without getting bored, for example.

>>9997539
I can play with you tomorrow Anon.
Right now I have to do my Anki reps.

Take this shit back to your board, /v/irgin.

>>>/v/
>>>/vg/

classic casual

yep perfect mode for a deagle spamming noob like you

XSA pls

I suck at CS. I'll still to baby moba LoL

>>9997575
Stop saying things like noob you asshat. It makes you look like one ironically.

>>9997539
Post your steamid

Why is my Deagle not silver like OP's?
It's piss brown.

>>9997613
Stop shitting all over the floor /jp/

Who GLOBAL ELITE here and wants to play Comp? I got this 3 days ago.

Piss isn't brown, dude.

Yes! I've been waiting for the day we start getting Counter Strike threads.
*posts le steamid*

>>9997648
Who are you quoting?

>playing CounterStrike

Anybody want to play with me on PS3?

>>9997648

Who are you quoting?

>>9997648
You probably suck.

>>9997631
I don't play with faggot noobs lol

I killed 4 guys with the sawed-off in office in one round it was so MLG.

>>9997662
I'm ranked Global Elite though, which is the highest and I only got this 3 days ago so I don't have a consistent team. Why don't you step it up you Gold Master Cock Sucker III

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsI70Kddujk

/jp/ playing CS:GO

Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is.

>>9997681
Fuck off GhosTsight1.

>>9997672
gj wrecking bots you scrub. try that shit against me and ill awp your head off

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED REVERSAL OF THE ATTACK
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OSENSEI I GUESS ?
HE'S A KAISO
AND IS CALLED ``MORIHEI''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT AIKIDOKA
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED DAN
AIKIDO IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE DEFEATED A CHARGING RHINO
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

Deagle is shit random luckers weapon.

P250 is better.

>>9997653
>>9997656
>>9997659
You.

Reimu, being a shrine maiden of considerable power I would guess she possesses some intrinsic purity in regards to most things, likely that her anus is clean and lacks of hair judging from the rest of the body.

Marisa, a tough case, she's known for taking baths while reading though I can't remember this source specifically. However if one assumes Marisa has a diet that consists primarily of mushrooms then she has very good fiber intake which would make sure her poops and subsequent wipes are in the lighter side. So relatively clean I would guess. Ass hair presence however is a mystery. If one considers her rivalry with Reimu then Marisa might have a habit of shaving her body just to keep up, but verifying this is impossible.

Rumia, somewhat similar to a roaming hungry beast, she most likely eats a lot and she can't see very well due to her ever present darkness that only goes away on red moons. Most likely never wipes or not well enough due to not being able to see in the dark. Entire butt most likely covered in fecal matter.

Daiyousei and Cirno, being fairies which lack most biological needs they probably need not ever poop or sweat nor have any of the more disgusting biological functions of a regular human body. So it is very likely they have neat and tidy anuses.

Hong Meiling, stands outside of a gate most of the day so she only has the opportunity to poop and wash in the mornings or night. If she does both daily then it would be wisest to poop first and take a bath afterwards. Assuming most days it isn't very hot due to the heat mitigating nature of the Misty Lake and that Meiling sleeps most of the time, she quite possibly won't get very hot or sweaty as well. So most of the time it is likely she has a clean anus.

>>9997681
Damn, that was MLG.

any cute skins for csgo? i dont like grimdark firearms

>>9997708
Or you are just bad.

Koakuma, a minor demon, the fecal specifics of demonic beings are not that known I would fathom. Finding information on this is also rather difficult as any attempts at investigating just brings up the shit demon from Dogma. However demons aren't very known for decent anything so there's a decent chance that Koakuma isn't very decent at the wiping thing, however her summoner, Patchouli, probably made her start doing it once she summoned her and bound her to her service. How well she does it now depends on how long she's been in service now and has been acclimated to more proper habits. So anus cleanliness is a function of how long she's been in Patchouli's service.

Patchouli, if one assumes she skips out on eating then it's also likely she doesn't poop that much either. Patchouli also has mentions of waterproofing books and reading them in the bath as well so it's known she bathes. Thinking about it, Marisa most likely gets her bath reading books from Patchouli. Skinny anemic Patchouli would most likely have a clean anus, but she probably wouldn't put any effort towards shaving it so there's a good chance of it being hairy.

Sakuya, she has all the time in the world and she uses it. Her personal hygiene is most likely perfect befitting her status as a perfect maid. She probably even shaves her anus using her own knives.

>>9997681
jaypee so pro!

Remilia, a vampire which has a diet consisting mostly of blood and cake, blood contains many elements that can't go through the urinary tract and no fiber, cake also lacks fiber. Remilia most likely has very thin waterish poops similar to diarrhea. Waterish diarrhea however is also one of the easiest poops to clean after. There's also a chance that Sakuya helps wipe Remilia however even Remilia would have too much pride for that, but considering the fact that Sakuya can freeze time, Sakuya might just wipe and shave Remilia's anus for the hell of it.

Flandre, has the same diet as Remilia so the same applies, however she spends her time entirely in the basement. Does it have a bathroom down there and does she know how to wipe? If they lock her up there and the only time Sakuya comes down is to bring food then there's a good chance Flandre is self reliant for hygienical matters. However Flandre has the advantage of being able to duplicate herself. This could possibly result in a situation where she splits into four and stands around in a circle where each Flandre wipes another Flandre's butt, even shave possibly. Anus cleanliness depends on Flandre's concerns on the matter personally.

>>9997722

Luck isn't skill, dweeb.

>>9997737
Don't blame on luck just because you're bad.

Letty Whiterock, something one would have to factor in considerably is the fact she manages to hibernate throughout seasons spring through fall and only awakens in the summer. This would mean she would have the metabolic abilities of a bear and be able to develop a fetal plug for the entirety she is sleeping. She would however have to poop this fetal plug out every winter once she wakes up. I can imagine Cirno visiting every time Letty wakes up while Letty is having her yearly super shit. might be why she finds Cirno annoying. I imagine Letty would have bodily functions and abilities similar to that of a black bear. During the period before hibernation, bears stop eating for those few days and lose activity until they eventually decide to start hibernating. Bears are pretty amazing for being able to stay in a period of doing absolutely nothing for so long without dying. Letty even more so for doing it about 3 times as long. So during a good portion of the year Letty is perfectly free of most of the biological functions the body performs normally. So during non winter seasons her anus is probably pretty clean from lack of pooping and sweating as she sleeps if she washes up well before entering hibernation. However we don't know how well she washes up during winter. I searched up bear hygiene habits, but could not find anything regarding them so I am at a loss for Letty's hygienic habits. For anus hairiness, hair growth is faster in summer and slower in winter, since Letty is entirely inactive during every season but winter, her anus hair most likely grows unchecked so it's probably quite hairy.

>>9997708
Get on my level skrub
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlgWGws9Cgw

Nazrin, a rat youkai, I ended up reading some rat dietary information pages for this. Apparently most rats are lactose intolerant and cheese gives them runny stool. They are also incapable of burping or vomiting. If one assumes Nazrin favors cheese then there's a good chance it gives her the runs a lot. This makes it so she probably has to go to the bathroom more than normal. Doing more research and rat cleaning habits and it turns out they're very habitual groomers. Apparently in groups if a rat doesn't groom itself properly, other rats will pin that rat down and do the grooming themselves. Apparently this high importance on grooming is a show of dominance and since Nazrin appears to be the leader of her rats one should assume she places high importance on the act herself. She shows herself as a responsible person as well even being more professional than her superior, Shou. Anus cleanliness is probably fairly high despite the fact she probably gets the runs more often than not due to a like for cheese.

>>9997710
>>9997725

been awhile, keep up the good work

Kogasa, an umbrella youkai, yeah, I can't really figure out the pooping habits of an umbrella so all I have to go on is Kogasa's personality and the fact her umbrella is based off eggplants. Eggplants are high in fiber content, but just because it's her umbrella color doesn't mean Kogasa eats it all the time however. Might even creep her out possibly. So we have no real idea about her diet. However if we consider the fact she's an item that goes without an owner we can possibly assume she does not receive maintenance or cleaning. Meaning her anus is relatively unkempt. She also likes surprising people and farting can be a very surprising act. However she's not very good at surprising people so she may not know this. Overall anus is probably uncleaned and unshaven. If somebody takes good care of the umbrella portion though then the human portion might change to reflect that. So if you're of the belief that Sanae has taken Kogasa as her own umbrella and takes proper care of it then there's a good chance Kogasa's anus is clean now. Battered too, if you're also of the belief Sanae is a sadist.

Ichirin, pretty damn human in appearance and ability it looks like really, I also can't understand her connection to her legend that well either other than being a messenger who uses clouds. Her ability is use of Unzan so I take that as meaning she just uses Unzan for a lot of shit. Including cleaning her shit quite possibly. Since Unzan is a cloud with amorphous form that means he can get every last bit and even function as an enema quite possibly. Ichirin's anus is quite clean if she's willing to use Unzan for that purpose.

Unzan, he is a cloud, he doesn't even have an anus.

Murasa, the ghost of a drowned ship captain. As a ghost she probably gets a free pass to this pooping thing, however for this analysis we will assume she does so anyways. Murasa likes scooping water and flinging it so if she were to poop, there is a good chance of her splashing water onto her anus like a bidet. Anus is likely higher than average in cleanliness if she does poop. However she might do this anyways even without pooping so spotless anus if she doesn't poop.

Does anybody want to play with me on PS3?

Shou, a tiger youkai that worships Bishamonten, a difficult analysis, but it seems tigers groom well and poop in water when they get the chance. Her worship of Bishamonten provides no insight into her pooping habits sadly. If we were to assume Nazrin as the dominant one in their relationship, there is a good chance Nazrin would clean Shou by force if Shou slacks on such matters. Reading up Shou's backstory however it seems after Byakuren was sealed that Shou maintained a facade as a human for a very long time as a disciple of Bishamonten. That means she's used to the way of human pooping and cleaning. However taking into account her loss of her most prized and important possession she's also considered clumsy and forgetful, but that's what Nazrin is there for. So she likely keeps good care of her anus and in the event she forgets, Nazrin does so for her.

Byakuren, a Bhuddist monk, there's really not much to theorize. One would assume normal human pooping habits and cleaning with the regularity and discipline of a monk. Since she was one to keep up pretenses there's a chance she didn't even fart in public and avoided rude behavior in general.

Nue, the poop of the Nue is unknown. Her anus is as well. It could appear positively spotless to some and absolutely disgusting to others. One might not even realize Nue's poop is poop.

>>9997797
lol

Chen, a nekomata in shikigami service. Chen hates water, but is a cat. Cats are normally clean enough to poop where it's better for them to poop like litterboxes so she probably goes to the toilet. However, she hates water, not only as a cat, but as a shikigami as well. This means she probably showers or bathes not all that much. Wiping works well enough to get rid of the shit on your anus, but not even the most thorough of wiping will make sure to get rid of all the shit on your anus after a poop. It takes water and soap to make sure that not a trace of shit remains. Chen's anus is probably wiped regularly after poops, but still not all that clean due to the fact Chen rarely bathes or showers. Not only her anus will not be that clean, but her entire body as well. Unless Ran makes sure Chen washes up then Chen's probably very smelly.

Alice, a magician who resides in the Forest of Magic. Alice most likely holds herself up to standards based on her peers. Patchouli shouldn't be too hard to be more clean than as Patchouli is perfectly fine smelling of patchouli. However if Marisa holds herself to standards of being as clean as Reimu at least then Alice will most likely be at those standards as well to not fall behind Marisa in terms of cleanliness. It'd be pretty shameful to lose out to a human in both magic and hygiene so as long as Marisa keeps herself clean then Alice will likely keep herself clean as well. However even if Marisa were a filthy girl, Alice would probably clean well anyways to not be grouped in with that "magic hobo who lives in the forest". So Alice would probably have a clean anus. If Alice likes the smooth form of her dolls' bodies, there's also a good chance she shaves down there as well.

The Prismrivers, poltergeist musicians. As ghosts, they get a free pass on this. And honestly, I know so little about them relevant to this subject I couldn't make an analysis even if I tried.

Youmu, half-ghost swordsman. Her human half is most definitely biological to some degree. So her pooping and cleaning habits should be somewhat normal. However, her ghost half can make things more interesting. It has been shown to be able to function as a spectral duplicate of herself. This means that Youmu's ghost half is somewhat amorphous and able to take on other shapes. It would be able to help her wipe in its duplicate form, but in amorphous forms in general it would be capable of doing anything Unzan can do. Which can include anal scraping and enemas. Thinking about it, another possibility would be swallowing it and then letting it clean your intestines as it goes through your body. I should've thought about the possibilities more when I was still on Ichirin. Thinking about it, unlike Unzan, Myon wouldn't even need to be swallowed as it's a ghost and can simply go spectral through Youmu's body. This can be incredibly helpful if Youmu's suffering some constipation and needs help pushing it out. Depending on Youmu's use of her ghost half, her anus and intestines in general can be very clean. Also if Youmu enjoys her work as a gardener there's a good chance she trims away whatever hair grows down below.

Yuyuko, a hungry ghost, eating so much that if she did poop then there would be no toilet that could possibly survive. The food she eats seems to go into the void however. As a ghost she eats needlessly. So wasteful. Good chance she doesn't poop at all. However if she does then her anus is most likely wrecked from her number 2 sessions.

Ran, a fox youkai and a shikigami. Specifically a kitsune meaning she has 9 tails. This is the crux of the matter. This would make sitting on a toilet near impossible the normal way. Meaning she would have to sit in reverse on toilets. As a shikigami, she would also be averse to washing with water as well. Wiping would also be pretty difficult as her tails in the way. This would make cleaning up nightmarish for Ran. As well as expensive considering all the tail fur she would need to wash. Thinking about it, she would possibly be even less hygienic than Chen. Unwiped anus, tail closest to ass somewhat stained, doesn't bathe or shower. Thinking about it logically, she would be quite filthy. Especially her anus. And even if hair didn't grow on her anus, it would still most likely be covered in fallen off tail fur most of the time.

Yukari, gap youkai that controls boundaries. Taking her powers to the logical extreme, she would be able to simply gap out her shit into the void. However, assuming she likes the act of squeezing through gaps, she might shit for the hell of it just to feel her shit squezing out her anus and asscheeks. For wiping, she could manipulate the boundary of clean and not clean or the boundary between shit and her asscheeks. There's a lot of ways she could do it really. Her entire physical form is modifiable by this power if you word it to use the word boundary. Yukari's anus would be as clean and smooth as she wills it.

I want to play with /jp/

Suika, an oni with the stereotypical alcohol indulgence. Alcohol can have quite a few effects on the intestines and pooping due to being a toxin, but Suika is an oni so it should be assumed her intestines would have no problem with it. The thing to examine is Suika's manipulation of Density. By manipulating density, it would be possible to condense all her shit into one supershit. This could quite possibly allow her to not poop for even centuries or perhaps forever depending on how well she can condense her shit. It could also be a measure of her strength with the determiner being how heavy this superdense supershit gets before Suika is incapable of moving her ass normally. If Suika also keeps the supershit solid enough so that it is perfectly solid and manage to push it out with her supernatural strength, then it is possible for herself to give dry shits through use of her density manipulation and oni strength. Depending on how long Suika's density manipulation lasts, the poop might also be entirely odorless if not allowed to part itself in anyway. Suika's anus is quite possibly shitfree and not even remotely smelling of shit no matter when her last shit was. Other things to consider are Suika's mini-duplicates and mistform. Suika can disperse the entirety of herself into mist, clothes and all. She could quite possibly disperse herself into mist, leave out any shit mist particles and reform in shit free form. If she's willing to large form herself and create mini-duplicates, she could create an anal spelunker team to head into her own ass. For what purpose, I don't know, as her anus should be pretty clean from the other methods already.

>>9997689
Aikido can suck my balls. Nobody can beat a bullet.

One shoot and you're down. How many years did it take for you to master aikido? It doesn't matter, I can kill you in a matter of nanoseconds by just pulling a trigger. A bullet can defeat even the strongest man in the world.

Remember, the result is all that matters.

Keine, a school teacher and were-hakutaku. As a school teacher, and a strict one at that she would probably keep her anus in very good condition. Whether she keeps a literal stick up her butt is something her student may wonder about however. However, on full moons, Keine turns into a hakutaku and hangs out in the woods. The closest thing the hakutaku can be compared to is the cow which will be used as the basis for this analysis. Cows do not clean themselves at all. They also slightly poop into their own vaginas without a care apparently as well. If we go by common assumption that Ex-Keine is more bestial in nature, she might not bother to wipe entirely if she's in this state. She possibly wouldn't even care if some of it got on her legs or feet as well. She would probably wipe and shower once she returned to normal, but for the small time every full moon between the period she poops and the full moon ends her ass is most likely entirely unwiped and covered in shit. Anus is most likely clean for all periods besides that however. Anus is shockingly dirty during the aforementioned period however. She might not poop at all during full moons however as when you poop isn't set in stone. She might have even obtained a habit of pooping beforehand and not eating if this actually does happen to reduce the chance of herself pooping during that time. I imagine when Keine first contracted lycanthropy, she must've been absolutely ashamed when this first happened, coming back to her normal sense while having a shit covered ass and legs. However, if we consider a Keine proud of her other side, then she might not be that entirely repulsed by her own shit. How she views shit after that first time would determine her anus cleanliness of today. She could've even possibly have erased the history of it. However it most likely did happen.

Tewi, a rabbit youkai. Rabbits generally toilet train themselves to reduce attacks from predators by pooping in only one spot so they become less easy to track. However they are also willing to use their poop for territory marking as well and will do it a lot without the presence of predators. They also don't seem to be quite that skilled at holding it in either. A single rabbit will usually stick to pooping in a litter box most of the time with the occasional poop here or there, but multiple rabbits will start poop wars. Eientei very likely has rabbit shit everywhere. Rabbits clean themselves, but dislike water. They can go into shock if directly immersed into it. Rabbits also have a scent gland, where a stinky discharge accrues and needs to be cleaned away every so often. It is locate right besides the anus. Now for the poop itself. A rabbit has two types of poop, the regular waste kind and cecotropes. Cecotropes are specially made by a rabbit's organs and very nutritious. That is why rabbits eat them immediately after pooping them out. They will apparently die of malnutrition without them. They also like giving caretakers a kiss after consuming them as well. It is also not unknown for a rabbit to eat the regular waste kind as well, but it's not a common occurrence. So not only is Tewi's anus very likely to have some dry shit on it and be quite stinky, she has eaten her own poop quite a lot. Even the waste kind most likely due to how long she has lived.

Reisen, a moon rabbit. An alien species, sadly not much is known about their dietary, pooping, and cleaning habits. Sadly, no real analysis can be made. If we assume constant experiments from Eirin, she definitely won't poop anything normal however.

Kaguya, a lunarian immortal, finding information on lunarians is similar to finding information on aliens. So somewhat non existent. Analysis is not possible here either. Though if she has the decorum of a princess then she would probably wipe well if she did poop. However if we take her personality as having devolved into NEET then how well she does it now would be hard to gauge.

Eirin, lunarian supergenius. Could quite possibly discover a method that would allow her to not need to poop anymore. For the same reasons above, analysis is hard. However she might possibly be entirely sterile to help with her research as to not accidentally affect anything. For testing she would most likely use Reisen meaning she probably wouldn't do any nasty things to her own body. She could probably develop a method to stop hair growth in unwanted places fairly easily as well for the purposes of avoiding body hair falling off and causing possible research contamination. Anus is most likely sterile and hair free.

Mokou, hobo immortal. Has quite possibly lived off the forest alone for a long time. There are methods for washing one's self and pooping in the wild. She could probably have figured out the most useful methods over her lifetimes of wandering. However perfect hygiene with the forest alone really isn't possible. Lack of soap is one of the more restrictive downsides. Bacteria can't really be gotten rid of with only water. Overall her anus hygiene would suffer due to this even if she can wipe every time with the amount of leaves present. And shaving it wouldn't be that easy either without properly sharpened tools.