/jp/ - Otaku Culture

She's my waifu.

Patchouli smells bad. I prefer sandalwood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIbIBYnAQNQ

/prog/thread?

>>9892911

I suppose

>>9892929
This unsettles me.

One of the greatest touhou!

>>9892949

>>9892941
why
dont you want to be part of patchy cosplay club tea party?

http://youtu.be/-8Fj7iTHw8c

Patchy is just laid back chillin' posted, living in the mansion mostly, coughin' from this dust n' shit, No lie she's coughin so damn often. Books, assistants, Spells and Magic. viva cast a few cantosis' Bring them through the elementsan', but she cough and wheeze still ma-mostlah.

>>9893028
*remove the "still" in that last sentence.

I think she's alright.

Yes I am Patchyfan

>>9892890
I used to be a bigger patchy fan a few years ago.
Now not so much, still, she has the most images on my HD.

TD cast stole my attention away from her I guess.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIfGQpTtYZI

goth haet patchouli

I like some other touhous, but Patchy will always be my favorite.

Also, megane!pachy is best pachy

>>9893047
Prove it.

>>9893113
She is canon DFC, and want to lodge my member in her naughty parts.

>>9892890
My waifu <3

>>9893157
She seems pretty intent on protecting them from you.

>>9893157
Hmm...I'm not sure you're understanding DFC correctly, because those look pretty nice and rotund to me.

>>9893169
She's mine, nerd.

I'm lewd Patchy's biggest fan.

yes

Well, at the very least I like her.

I wanna .. hold hands with her

>>9893932
Holy fuck that is too lewd what the hell is wrong with you!

>>9893932
epic spoilers /a/-kun

Sure am.

>>9894016
what a delicious anus. face needs work though.

>>9894016

Patchy's okuchimanko looks very inviting.

>>9894016

>>9894016

Yeah, she's pretty nice.

I'm a fatchouli fan

I'm a faptchouli fan

I want to suck her ankles so bad

I am. She's not my favorite, but she's still very high up there.

I always liked librarians for some reason

I love Patchouli.

I can identify myself with her. Her assistant is cuter, though.

>>9894302
>I can identify myself with her.
Tell me more about you. Also, have you been looking for an Onii-chan recently?

>>9894302
How can you say she's cuter when she doesn't even have a portrait?

>>9894337
I'm a 26 years old, 6'2 tall, balding white male. I study IT-Security in Bochum, Germany. I spend my days in lectures, writing on my thesis and fighting my depression-fuelled loneliness. I have not a single friend in this city despite living and studying here for 3 years.
I appear cold and unapproachable yet I yearn for human contact. I'm unable to approach people after being bullied for years in school.
I'm come here to post cute pictures, look at the cute pictures posted by other /jp/sies and be happy for a few hours while talking to the only people I consider my friends.

I'm the 99%, on /jp/ at least.

>>9894394
Cute. Devil girls are cute.

>>9895118

We accept you, One of Us!

>>9895118
I'd be your friend irl if I could.

>>9895118
You sound like a mentally tough person.

People nowadays would of offed themselves by now.

>>9895165
>>9895169
Thanks guys.

>>9895175
I've got years of experience in repressing emotions. My initial plan was to silently suffer until my parents die so I can off myself w/o hurting them.
Sadly, my depression as accelarated in the recent months at a pace I've never though would be possible. Crying myself to sleep became more normal and even writing this make me tear up. The thoughts of all the missed opportunities drive me insane.
I afraid of my metal state continuing to degenerate at the current speed. I'm deathly afraid of the pain the future will bring. Suicide seems to be the only way out.
I'm not there yet, though. I think I'll fill /jp/ a little more with cute pictures.

>>9895266
You'll always have a friend with us, anon.

Although have you considered seeing a psychiatrist? Since you're in school, there's problem someone at the school who you could see for free.

>>9895118
I'm 35, 175cm tall, buzzcut male.

I've lived in Helsinki for 15 years, not a single friend. I spend my days rererereading SICP and working on my toy projects.

I don't have a single friend, despite living, studying and working here for 15 years. I'm also a virgin.

And you know what? I'm happy. I finally learned how to have lucid dreams, I sell RC cars for a living, I finally 1cc'd UFO in hard and I fucking love programming.

Man the fuck up, faggot.

I finally figured out why the "hide all text" is an option on some extensions.

>>9894394
I'll fight you kid.
>>9894302
I guess I'm not the only one.
Except you're a bit too whiny/depressed.

I really like studying/learning/accumulating knowledge, have asthma, ulcers (and thus sometime anemia), back pain, BMI says i'm in a state of denutrition.
Yet I'm pretty happy with my life, and don't yearn for human contact, although I don't have much problems socialising.

>>9895461
>have you considered seeing a psychiatrist
Don't. Been in a mental hospital twice, you feel way worse when you are authorised to leave, and while you're inside it's a fucking nightmare.

>>9895266
>Suicide seems to be the only way out
That's a bit of a waste. If you're that fucked, why don't you try things you really want to do but are risky and might not succeed ? You're fucked anyway, so get the best out of it, at the very least.

>>9896416
Not that anon, but I can relate to him. The fact that I am fucked doesn't change anything; I am scared. It is scary to do things that I might fail at — because what if I don't get the best out of it? What if I humiliate myself and end up sinking lower? There is also the fact that human nature makes us afraid of change, simply because it is something unknown and unpredictable. I know it isn't a healthy way to think but breaking out of this cycle is tough. I wish I could be brave.

But to that other anon, if you are afraid, don't be. You will succeed as long as you try and don't give up even if you at first have trouble. Success is definite that way, so there really is nothing to fear. Good luck, don't kill yourself but don't live miserably. You can be happy — get help because there is no reason to go through that alone. If you are nervous about telling your family first the doctor is a good place to start. Just your normal doctor. You will be ok!

>>9896359
ebin :DDDDDD

official patch of chouli? :3

>>9892929
>/jp/ meetup

>>9896682
hoo r u quotin

>>9896682
Would you go?

I would

>>9892929

Aw shit, is that a chocolate orange?
I like those.

Post Patchouli you fags!

>>9897691
I'll post Patche but pleas don't call me a fag okaaaayy~

>>9897728
vug you foggot

>>9897728
Post the version with cum dripping from her vagina.

PATCHY! PATCHY! PATCHY!

>>9897772
Goddamn, you're noisy!

>>9897778
BLOW! BLOW! BLOW!

>>9897780

Too lewd! Patchouli is a respectable woman!

>>9897772
>>9897780
what is that game?

Posting some manga Patchy in a Patchy thread.

>>9898275
pls respond

Patchy is a wife!

You wouldn't do anything lewd to a tied up Patchy, right?

...right?

I LIKE LE PATCHY

>>9898838
Sure...

>>9898838
... Naah... Na-.....

Big breasted Patchy is best Patchy.

>>9892890

What kind of stupid ass name is patchouli? It sounds like a pasta

>>9898911
Woah there nerd, it's a nice name, unlike yours.

>>9898915
What if his name is Patchouli?

>>9898918
Then I will look like a fool, but I highly doubt his name is Patchouli.

>>9898911

its an herb used in perfume and medicine, actually

>>9898915
How do you even pronounce Patchouli?
Pach-uu-lee?
Pach-oh-uu-lee?

I love Patchy.

>>9898937
What happened to the 't'?

>>9898937
http://images.wikia.com/touhou/images/0/06/Pronuciation_PatchouliKnowledge.ogg

>>9898937
pa-chou-lee
patches
rudechouli

>>9898937

patch-ou-li

>>9898947
Why did she pour raw eggs on her breasts?

>>9898944
so basically just mumble a bunch, got it

>>9898955
Anon, do you have hearing problems or perhaps faulty headphones are speakers?

>>9898937
>>9898947
>>9898952
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ipa
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-sampa
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_phonology

Thank you.

>>9898954
because they're a part of a healthy breakfast, how do you prepare yours

>>9898974
I usually bake them, but sometimes cook them or make an omelet with garlic, tomato, onion and sometimes beans.

>>9898974
I don't like eggs.

>>9898987
I highly doubt that. I bet tons of stuff you eat contains eggs.
It's like saying you don't like onions.

>>9898993
I don't like onions either.

>>9898974
5 egg whites and 1 yolk in a bowl, microwave it until it's all cooked, eat seasoned with salt/pepper on some wholemeal bread, maybe spread some aioli on it if I feel like having a treat.

>>9898995
Do you like spaghetti?

patchy could use the protein from eggs, clearly she is a vegetarian.

>>9899013
> clearly she is a vegetarian.
Not really, she's just clumsy at cooking.

>>9899020

clumsy, but she tries hard.

Can she cook her breasts?

>>9899034
Clumsy is right. Look at her tripping over a banana like that!

>>9899052
No but she can wear pastries.

>>9899034
I'll say it again, but she forgot the flour.

>>9899063
Where are those choco-sticks going?

>>9899066
In my mouth ?

>>9899065
I'm not sure if Patchy understands that not everything can be learned from books.

>>9899080
Sure can.

>>9899085
You can't learn how grass tastes or what it smells like from a book.

>>9899079
Not sure pal.

Looks like they're more going towards Patchy's vagina.

>>9899089
Sure can.

>>9899092
Don't be silly.

>>9899085
I don't think so. If it could, all those books on cooking she no-doubt read before these escapades would have made her cook incredible dishes on the spot.

I can just imagine Patchy trying to cook something while casting all this magic to help her do so, and ending up with some sort of crazy cake monster.

>>9899116
Just like in my cartoons.

>>9899106
nice thumbnail

>>9899085
What about sex?

>>9899141
Patchouli is a good girl.

>>9899146
Indeed.
See? So you can't learn everything from books!

>>9899149
But she doesn't need to know those things!

>>9899162
Hm. She'll change that tune someday...

A love for fatchouli made me work up the courage to talk to fat girls, causing one to latch on to me like a metroid and control my life, making me quit drinking and get a job.

Thanks to fatchouli, I can never become a wizard and I am no longer one of you. Learn from my mistakes so that you may not stray from the path of wizardhood.

>>9899191
You made the mistake of loving her body rather than her.

>>9899201
but I do love her. we cuddle and play video games every night and she cheers me up when I'm depressed

>>9899212
Is this a spoiler from one of the games? I don't want to mouse over it if it is.

>>9899212
Fuck off you dumb piece of shit. Nobody loves you and you will be alone again soon enough. I hope you wont be able to bear the pain and try to kill yourself.

>>9899225
I want to kill you

>>9899191
Man, girls are scary. They look harmless, so you'd think that if you just tread carefully, you wouldn't be putting yourself at any risk, but it seems like all it takes is that you show a little interest in a girl and suddenly you're married, have 2-3 kids and a fulltime job.

>>9899191

Wow, this is the most moronic thing I have read on here all week.
Enjoy your ruined life and possessive land whale.

Oh my. I wonder what she spilled down there?

>>9899342
Looks like some yoghurt.

>>9892890
NO

>>9899381

Then fuck off.

>>9899342
I'm not sure. It was probably supposed to be cum, but no cum is that thick.

I love it when girls tug on their shirt to hide their crotch. It looks cute and accents the breasts.

>>9899390
shame really. Think how much better that would make it.

>>9899417
...which part are you talking about?

>>9899398
I think you're cute.

>>9899424
Don't be foolish, anonymous. You've got no idea what I look like.

>>9899428
That's hardly relevant. I think your posts are cute.

>>9899423

The part you or I will never experience.

>>9899449
So cumming in Patchy? No thanks. I don't like the idea of Patchy sitting there with semen leaking from between her legs.

>>9899448
Oh. Well, that's terrific.

>>9899459
What do you mean by that?

>>9899455

No you nerdsword, I mean intercourse in general. But I guess patchy counts.

>>9899465
What do you think?
I'm not going to play along and be all "waaiiii he thinks I'm cute~," anon. I do a lot on /jp/, but not that.

>>9899483
You're just coming off a bit cold, I thought you disliked me.

"Have you heard about the mage of the scarlet devil mansion?"
"The scarlet devil mansion has a mage?!"
"Yeah, I was impressed too. She's a youkai who spends her life lazing around her library."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she hardly ever moves. She smelled like mold, too. The head maid was visibly upset that I found out about the library's little secret. Moreso than when I ran into Remilia's younger sister! She looked... Ashamed!"
"Is she any good as a mage, though?"
"Not really. She managed to put together a cool light show for me and called it threatening attacks. I beat her without breaking a sweat. That's when she told me she is so anemic she can't even recite her spells."
"What?! How can a youkai let itself fall so ill?! She lives in a mansion! She has servants!"
"I know, right? She is even weaker than a normal human."
"Dear me! Poor thing! I almost feel sorry for her! She attacked my dear Marisa, though, so I'm really not."
"Alice!! Don't talk like that! You make me feel embarassed!"
"I never tire of seeing rowdy tawdry Marisa all fluttery!"
"Stop that!! Hahahahaha!"
"Hahahahaha!"

>>9899491
Na. You're fine.
Patchy threads are for discussing Patchy, though.

>>9899502
I'm sorry. I don't really know anything about her and I dislike posting images without adding any text, so I just resort to random talking.

God I want to cuddle her so bad.

>>9899473
Oh god, I want to bury my face into Patchoulis fat thighs.

Seeing so much cuteness makes me sad.

>>9899581
Why?

>>9899566
This reminds me I should have a look through that thread for 2hu related alcoholism.
http://archive.foolz.us/jp/thread/9460240

I don't get what the big deal is, what's there to like about a character that everybody draws as morbidly obese?

>>9899612
It's like trying to cuddle an unreachable dream. It both makes me happy and sad at the same time.

>>9899640
Thank you for the link, anon. I need some extra fancy alcohol in my life.

>>9899671

I wish I had enough money to take up alcoholism.

>>9899661
Heh heh, yeah.

Yeah.

>>9899677
Making your own wine has it's perks.

And living with your parents.

>>9899683

I don't live with my parents and they would never let me move back in.

>>9899686
If I didn't live with my parents I'd probably have more merchandise.

>>9899690

But you would have an apartment inspection at the end of every lease period, and your real estate agent would be a normal.

>>9899696
Hm.

Do you still collect?

>>9899696
they can't kick you out for a hobby. My cousin own one and has figs and poster everywhere nothing happens to him

>>9899705

Yeah. They have let my room out at home, and they pay my rent and give me $75pw for everything else.

>>9899715
We're still posting Patchoulli?

>>9899721
Why the hell not? That's this thread's intended purpose, is it not?

>>9899566
>>9899640

I can actually make most of these.

>>9899805
I'm jealous. I can't find a single one that would require me to buy less than two ingredients.

Such a mighty wizard.

Upgrades!

>>9900010
You sure about this, Patchy? Breasts are heavy, and you are weak.

>>9900035
Patchy lifts

>>9900159
Oh, yeah right.

I tolerate Patchuoli I don't love her i'm not a fan

purple is a nice color ( she looks kinda like grimace though )

she seems pretty boring personality wise and she was pretty easy to beat in EoSD

I like her moomoo though pretty unique clothing for the rest of the Touhou cast

I like when she's depicted as being fat even though she's anemic ( you can be both )

so basically she's decent no where near my top 5 and not even worthy of top 10 but she's decent

She is perfect.

>>9900619
Shitty overrated 2hu

>>9900659
like ur moms vag?

>>9900665
iceburn

>>9900599
>( she looks kinda like grimace though )
Although the rest of your opinions do not rouse me to anger, brethren, I must say that referencing grimace in this situation is a low blow ye not need resort to.

>>9900693

I'm sorry cos my condolences, here partake in this Patchouli take precaution to thine eyes it might be a bit lewd for your taste

I'd make sweet love to her and cum inside, while holding hands.

>>9902279
...which will impregnate her and then, one day, when you come back from a long and hard day of work, you will see me aborting your inferior baby with my gigantic, superior cock. Unfortunately I'm on my laptop and not on my desktop PC so I can't provide a fitting image to help visualize your tragic loss.

roleplayers pls go

Patchouli a shit

>>9903846
Did you take that picture yourself?

>>9903913
No, it is a Patchouli figurine

>>9903931
lel :-)

>>9903846
I-Is this what they call "Fecal Matter Otaku"??

>>9899500

owned that nerd

>>9903948
Yeah, your mom introduced me to it.

>>9903953
Oh word, I didn't know you and my mom knew each other. Maybe we could be friends someday.

>>9899500
>The head maid was visibly upset
>visibly upset

Drop that. Makes it look like a typical 4chan copypasta.

>>9903953
Did you eat his mom's poop?
That means you truly love her

>>9904041

I hate pictures like this so much

NOBODY LAYS DOWN ON *BOOKS*. NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODDDDY!!!!!

>>9904300
Patchouli Fucking Knowledge lays down on books if she wants to

>>9904345

But she wouldn't want to! She loves books! SHE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO *BOOKS*!

>>9904463

AHHHHH!!!!

>>9904608
Don't take books so lightly, they're more resilient than you'll ever be.

>>9904694
I will throw one in a bathtub just to prove you wrong.

>>9904737

>>9904711
From the thumbnail I thought it was a picture of Patchouli farting. How disappointing.

>>9904704
You don't bathe anyway, that would prove nothing.

"You'll never rest your head on Patchy's warm lap while she reads you a book".

This world cannot contain the sadness in my heart.

>>9899500
super cool story bro

>>9905786
She's skinny and frail, putting your head there probably wouldn't have been that great an experience anyways.

>>9892890
She has horrible personal hygiene masked by over use of Patchouli incense.
That being said, yes.

no

>>9909274

>>9908776
But having a weak constitution / asthma doesn't mean she is a walking skeleton. She doesn't do any physical activity either, and being the 2nd in command she must get to eat nice home-made food made by Sakuya.

And well, in the end everyone is canonically fat/thin and flat/healthy at the same time.


PS: Fuck SoPM

>>9909431
I dont care that you're deluding yourself, but don't buttrape logic: a weak constitution + anemia + asthma (which translates in low physical activity) can only lead to being skinny.
Anemia is a lack of nutriment, you get nutriment by eating.
lack of eating causes you to be skinny.

You should've just went with ``she's a youkai, she doesn't need to eat''

>>9909456
Anemia is "a decrease in number of red blood cells (RBCs) or less than the normal quantity of hemoglobin in the blood".

What you talk about is malnourishment.

Maybe she's anemic because Remilia takes a few sips of her blood here and there.


If not, "she's a Magician, she doesn't need to eat".

>>9909527
>a decrease in number of red blood cells
Which is caused by lack of iron.

>Maybe she's anemic because Remilia takes a few sips of her blood here and there.
I'm ok with that.

>>9909609

But if Remilia was not lying when she said that she only drinks the blood of those that fear her, she would not drink Patchouli's blood since Patchouli says Remilia is EZ due to all her vampire weaknesses.

I wonder if patchouli has nice feet..

>>9910226
Patchouli has nice everything because she is nice.

>>9909833
They should have gave her mid length hair so it would be longer than Remilia's but shorter than Patchouli's. With that hair length she just looks like Remilia wearing Patchouli's clothes.

>>9909431
I do not think I would want to eat anything served up at the SDM

Drilling

>>9909431
>PS: Fuck SoPM
Why?

>>9910226
It's a mystery.

>>9911688
Stop that.

>>9911706
SoPM conflicts with his black Tewi.

>>9911688
haha.

do patchy fans like koakuma as a character, seeing as she gets /u/ shipped with her a lot?

>>9911743
Of course I do. She's Patchy's precious familiar.

Bigger version: http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/638674/

>>9911743
At first I liked Patchouli because we were alike.
Then I fell in love with Koakuma.

>>9912480
You're a book obsessed girl?

Haven't seen this one yet.

Clearly shows how casual and full of secondaries /jp/ is.
lel patcho is mai waifu xDDdd let's imagedump xD

>>9914354
>secondaries
Ya say it like it's something bad...

>>9914354
Trying too hard.

>>9914388
>Ya say it like it's something bad...

LOL.
New lows of /jp/.

>>9914446
lmao rofl

I bet none of you secondaries can even break 400 mil on EoSD lunatic.

>>9914463
None of them have Touhou actually installed on PC.

Just reposting pictures from booru.

>>9914463
the 400 mil what? can i watch it on youtube?

>>9914473
No need to reply to yourself.

>>9914482
>b-b-but he's samefagging!11

>>9914502
epic greentext

>>9914512
epic buttownage, there's no turn back, you're Internet-loser for life.

>>9914519
looks like someone here is jealous of my nerd-owning skills

>>9912480
Same here

>Max limit of 150 image replies has been reached.
;_;

>>9914677
Make a new thread.

>>9914714
Why? Does there need to be a Patchouli thread at all times?

>>9914842

There doesn't

>>9914714
As much as I like patchouli, I'll have to go with
>>9914854

>>9914842
>Does there need to be a Patchouli thread at all times?
No, but it seemed like he wanted to post more patchy images. If I thought a Patchy thread should be up all the time I would make one myself.

Cute!