/jp/ - Otaku Culture

This could potentially start a whole new array of visual novels too such as My Little Chimpanzee Can't Be This Cute. With many different figures and various merchandise, should I copyright this?

The second I accidentally upset it is the second I die or go to the emergency room.

>>9697491
You can just buy a wife or girlfriend

>>9697513

But I'm aiming for the little girl market, you can't just buy little girls and chimpanzees have nearly the same brain capacity as that of a little girl. I want the exact same experience as having the little girl.

>>9697516
Chimpanzee's the way, then. Best of luck to you. You can probably teach him to say Toho really loud.

>>9697516
>you can't just buy little girls
I wouldn't be too sure about that skipper.

>>9697531
her*

>>9697527

I live in the US, it's illegal here. Should I move to Japan? I bet it's not illegal there. Or Europe for that matter.

>>9697531

Thanks :)

I thought about this a little more, chimpanzees will also never choose to not hold your hand like a real little girl, or will they say no, they're essentially the ultimate mates, kind of like dolphins on land.

>If they're anything like birds you can teach them words so you can make it say baka!
I - I guess they're both warm-blooded.

Aids.

I laughed way too hard.

>>9697513
It's funny because one of my relatives is a middle manager in a large company and he literally married a poor student from the Russian countryside.

>>9697556

That's what a condom is for, you need those for any human female too. Or you could teach it to jerk you off, certainly it has the hands of a kind, tender, and loving woman.

>>9697548
Chimpanzees grow as big as a gorilla, dont they?
And they eat your hands if they become enraged

>>9697573

I don't think so, but they won't eat you if you treat them like a little girl with the respect they deserve. Just don't call him/her a baka too much if you name yours Cirno I guess :3

>>9697568
Can't really blame him. I wonder if he managed to teach her how to saw baka.

Chimps are fucking ferocious and dangerous as HELL. Just like their taller cousins.

>>9697573
If you can teach it to jerk you off, what do you really need your hands for anymore, anyway?

>>9697595

Well could you keep them drugged all the time to make them extremely calm? Certainly you can pump like a gallon's worth of tranquilizer in per week and call it a day.

>>9697598

That's a good point, maybe I should invest in a harem to do everything for me.

Romanian mail order bride

They have about the same language capacity, and probably don't poop themselves. Probably.

Plus its easier to find clothes for.

I already have an orangutang, I don't need another primate in my life.

>>9697594
She actually learned his language perfectly. They're still married and their kids have already moved out.

One more thought before I head out, ANOTHER pro.

If you live in an area with black people you can have your chimpanzee out with you around the town to get you some street cred.

This really is the ultimate.

I can't fap to a chimpanzee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhxqIITtTtU

Chimpanzee Harem

>owning a wild animal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyLNaEDMAts

>>9697634
fuggg :---D

>>9697634
This is too funny. The thing is people are too fat these days. 1000 years ago, if you couldn't run, jump, or bash something's head in with a rock you would die. Humans are better than Chimps, if you took a Human from back then and made in fight a Chimp it would destroy in a moment, give it something like a rock, hammer, or a spear? No contest.

>>9697662
At least you think like a chimp.

>>9697662
>1000 years ago, if you couldn't run, jump, or bash something's head in with a rock you would die.
1000 years ago was 1002. Not the stone age.

>>9697662
>1000
I think you mean 2000-3000.

>>9697662
You wanna bet? I bet my chimp can beet your Medieval caveman any day.

>>9697669
1000 years agoi is 1012 you retard.

>>9697669
Yes, I know but back then most people would be in shape.

I should have gone back further, like pre-agriculture.

Reminder to the meido that you deleted a similar thread about cats and dogs a few days ago.

>>9697681
Right. Shit.
Thanks retard master for schooling my retarded ass.

>>9697491
I know exactly how I'd dress mine if I got one.

>>9697662
>give it something.

And if I had a shotgun I could beat a lion. what's your point?

>>9697683
>but back then most people would be in shape.
Back then you were either living fat in a castle or living in diseases and filth.

>delete teeth breeshing thread with a 2hu picture directly related to the lifestyle of /jp/ers
>"LOL CHIMPANZEES xDDD [chimpanzee-picture.jpg]"
>leave it

Monkeys > Chimpanzees

They're smaller and cuter and not dangerous

>>9697710

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j79sFcczOGg

What kind of monkey is this? I want to put it in a little dress

>>9697724
Jesus christ how disgusting.

>>9697724

molly is a victim of bullying...

>>9697710
Chimpanzees are monkeys.

>Why haven't you bought your own chimpanzee /jp/? You can get them to cosplay as your favorite 2hu or animu and them fuck them.
Ok, no.

D
K
DONKEY
KONG
HE'S THE LEADER OF THE BUNCH
YOU KNOW HIM WELL
HE'S FINALLY BACK
TO KICK SOME TAIL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PacUjLWfIwc

Monkey in a dress at 1:10

>>9697753
holy shit i nostalgia'd so HARD xDD

sure is epic being in our twenties

fuc kall u older ppl :PP #mygenreation

>>9697769
Which Touhou is this?

do chimps moan with sensual pleasure during the act of copulation?

Almost as epic as your post about fucking a swan, Robert :-)

I have my lab to fuck, deal with it.

The little girl threads were more related than these.

Meido confirmed for OP.

>>9697816

Stop whining you little bitch

Janitor-sama picks the best threads, the threads he loves and he knows we love

I like this thread , so it stays.

>>9697904
No one likes you , so you can't stay.

Fucking monkeys is a Japanese niche interest.