/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>9680381
What are you reading?

I approve this thread

>>9680394
How To Sexually Please Your Man

Patchy Patchina Patchouli

>>9680402
Fuck off with your stupid, shoehorned lewdness. It doesn't belong here.

>>9680429

You're the reason /jp/ is the best board. I mean that unironically.

>>9680429
Someone's a prude little NEET girl!

>>9680429

Exactly. No shoehorning. There's no way that Patchouli would be reading a book like that, since everybody knows that she's Remilia's concubine.

Ｒｏｌｅｐｌａｙｉｎｇ　ｉｓ　ａｇａｉｎｓｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｒｕｌｅｓ

>>9680381
You like hip-hop, yes?

It's okay, Patchy.

I love you just the way you are.

>>9680487
Why is it so cute when girls hold their breasts like that?

Patchouli-chan can transform though

>>9680542
what happend?

I will never forgive you.

>>9680542
for what?

I wouldn't want you to transform anyway, Patchy. You're already wonderful the way you are.

>>9680550
>>9680564
I came here expecting a magical girl who can transform. Instead I got Patchoulli. Unforgivable. Absolutely unforgivable!

>>9680429

Ima go ahead and second that.

>>9680584
Well, fine, she'll throw something together. Just wait a minute.

>>9680584
And of all possible magic users it just had to be Patchoulli! It's like she made it on purpose to annoy me. And then she has the nerve no shyly apologise! What a horrible person! Next time avoid the apologetic attention whoring instead of wasting my time!

Poof!

...here, how's this? She doesn't look weird, does she?

>>9680584
>>9680593
Careful how you're talking to my favorite touhou, bitch nerd.

>>9680591
I'm waiting. Do not disappoint me.

>>9680604
You call that a transformation?! You're just messing around with color. Are you even a real magical user or are you just an asthmatic bookworm? Or is this your lame attempt at stealing the title "seven-colored magician"? Newsflash, miss: you're missing a couple of colors! Or has the lack of vitamin A kicked in so strong you can't even tell red from blue anymore? What a failure. Please don't associate yourself with other magicians anymore.

>>9680621
Alright, this is it you faggot. *sticks dick up anons' ear*

Imagine supporting Patchy's head with one hand, and holding her inhaler in the other while she uses it.

>>9680621
But...that doesn't make any sense! They can't transform either!

>>9680550
Zettai Yuru-Sanae

>>9680621
What about her eyes?
Magician transformations don't have to be all big and flashy. Any hedgemage can turn into a cat or something, but I'd be none of their unimaginative transformations have the power that Patchy's fancy form has here.

Patchy is the second most bully-able Touhou.

>>9680640
Just because you can't transform doesn't mean other, better (read: all other) magicians can't. Have you reflected about your reason to live yet? You're a youkai who is weaker than humans. On top of that, your magicianship sucks, even though you spent centuries locked in a library. Perhaps the library is full of crappy manga and not real books about magic. Who knows? Then you spend your days whoring for attention on imageboards, trying to capitalize on the sudden rise in popularity of "cute" girls in the west. Do you even research magic anymore? Or do you hide under the excuse that Marisa just so conveniently swipes the exact books you're using for your research (a mathemathical impossibility, considering the size of your library) so that you don't have to do any work? Must be nice, living in a house with a pathetic excuse for a demon (goes along with her master well: a pathetic excuse for a mage) serving you, along with a far more skilled human(!) who mastered the art of time and space manipulation while being best friends with a powerful vampire who happens to have a sister just as poerful. Do you even try anymore? Spamming mukyuu mukyuu on the internet while posing in that bag you call a dress will only take you so far.

>>9680670
That's enough.

>>9680666
Who's first?

It's the softest

>>9680666
It isn't bullying when she deserves it. I, for one, have gotten sick of her attitude.

>>9680679
Who else but Youmu?

>>9680637
What about fondling her chest, and feeling her fluttering heart beat?

>>9680681
Alice is canonically a bitch.

>>9680678
What are you gonna do besides leering at me? Make another hair rainbow? Or are you going to be a coward like usual and send your cronies to do a job you can't perform?

Please don't bully Patchy.

>>9680670
You shut up. Don't you talk shit about Patchouli, her magic, or especially her familiar.

>>9680689
Just look at her. How can you honestly say you do not want to make her cry? She looks so soft and fragile.

>>9680681
Bring it, cunt.

>>9680688
Wait a moment and see.

>>9680695
Oatchouli!

Please condense your Patchouli threads.

>>9680699
Please SMC, dude.

>>9680698
Oats and Squatchouli.

>>9680687
She is not. Alice is the most talented magician in the world. She is also an expert at puppetry and she is extremely kind, never using her full power so that she can have a fair match. Not only that, she is also quite the looker. I bet she has a couple dozen suitors lining up in front of her house, ready to shower her with riches, for the mere reward of seeing her smile. A smile as pure as the smiles she gets from children, when she puts on puppet shows.

>>9680692
I'm not a bully, so I don't like making people cry.
And please don't start a whole tirade about how it's her fault for being so abusable or some other sort of bullshit.

>>9680706
But it is her fault. It is completely her fault. I cannot help what she does. Her entire appearance practically begs you to bully her.

>>9680710
"It's her fault that I raped her, she dressed too scantily."

>>9680710
What did I just fucking say?

>>9680713
That was not a whole tirade though.

>>9680697
Nice leering. I notice you're just making blue light now. Has your mana depleted from making so many colors early?

>>9680706
It's not bullying. I'm setting her straight. She should also learn to share her library. Not just let herself get stolen by the girl she has a crush on (yet does nothing to make anything of it. Maybe because she knows she has no change. Ugly, weak, a failure as a magician... I would quit before I even tried, too)

>>9680706
It's like leaving $10000 sitting on the dashboard of your unlocked car. You don't deserve to get stolen from, but you're making it pretty damn hard to resist. In that same sense, Patchouli is really bringing this on herself by being so bullyable.

>>9680712
Yes, and?

Patchy's gonna get fat...

How about we all stop replying to bullies?

>>9680688
>>9680697

Poof!

آه، انها كانت طويلة جدا.
إذا كان هذا لا اشباع لك، وسوف الإنسان، لا شيء.

>>9680721
HELL yeah

>>9680713
You asked someone to start a tirade about how it's her fault by inviting it.

You know, in a way you're proving that you're wrong. The reason people started the tirade is because you invited it. The reason people bully her is because she invited it?

Of course, I really doubt humans can bully her...

you secondaries do realize you'd probably end up dead if you tried to bully Patchy right?

>>9680721
Oh. That is really something. Look at me I am so scared.

Not really. Wasting your time making a golem to your likeness when you don't even know where I live? The golem would fall apart on the journey here. Not that it won't turn to dust any second, now. My puppe-- you can't sustain anything stronger than gas. You rotten, putrid, rude excuse for a woman!

>>9680728
Why does anything think I can be killed?

>>9680731
>Why does anything think I can be killed?

>>9680726
>>9680726
Well...he was going to anyway, just like always. I can at least try.

>>9680728
Pffft, I can't be killed. That bullshit about alternate universes confirms it. Sure I can die billions of times but not in my continuity!

>>9680737
I applaud your effort.

Alice really is a bitch.

>>9680715
>Ugly

you shut the fuck up right now bitch.

>>9680730
ya know the names hippy perfume right. just had to say that made me laugh.

>>9680746
Alice is no such vulgarity. She is a sweet, talented, charming young lady.

>>9680751
Secondary as hell.

>>9680753
I'm not a secondary, I know what I'm talking about. I wish I was as good a person as Alice. So successful and gifted. And hard-working, too!

what anime is this from?

>>9680741
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-wAaBoW408

Is this you?

>>9680807
my little reddit

>>9680728
I've got a gun, bitch.

>>9680381
She can do it if she tries!

>>9681135
That was very good.
Doesn't suit Patchy very well, though. I can't imagine her running around doing magical girl stuff.

>>9681020

So do I! *grabs dick*

>>9680721
I hope you're not implying Patchy is a fatass.

>>9681627
Of course not. She's not some thin, fit bombshell, but she's not outright fat.

Pachy makes my penis so hard. I just want to cuddle her :3

>>9682645
It's one or the other, lewd-kun.

>>9682654

Im sure she's fine with both.