/jp/ - Otaku Culture

cheeeeeeen

take it easy

>>9625479

is that like... some kind of fetish... holy mother...

>>9625494
get out
newfag

Is this like that fluffy pony shit I keep hearing about on /q/?

>>9625502
Yeah pretty much

i hate them so much

>>9625499

yes i am on /jp/ since ~30minutes, nice to see that people here are as friendly as in /a/, /b/, /v/ etc etc

>>9625554

I got a boner.

I want one of those, where can i buy me a yukkuri?

>>9625559


how 'bout no?

>>9625522
Why?
They're not real, autist.

“If everyone reading this reported OP, we could end the shitposts today"

Man
If there's one thing I dislike about Touhou derived works it's these fucking things, abuse or no abuse

>>9625600
get a load of this newfriend

I feel so bad when the yukkuris get hurt. All they want to do is take it easy. There's no harm in that.

>>9625610
truly all of them are harmless creatures that deserve no punishment whatsoever

>>9625608
Don't fucking quote my post, nerd.
I hate nerds.

>>9625617

>>9625625
Suck your own code duck, gaylord.

>>9625625

NOW LISTEN UP YOU COCKSUCKING FAGGOT.

I WONT SUCK YOUR COCK I AM A FUCKING MAN AND I AM NOT GAY. Fucking EVERY DAY the same shit. ''SUCK MY COCK DUDE'' I have a wife you piece of shit I AM AS STRAIGHT AS SPAGHETTI YOU HOMO SHITS. I go out with my friend to go bowling like a normal person I go with him to gaybars like a normal person and I KISS HIM GOODBYE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. I AM JUST A STRAIGHT GUY I DO NOT SUCK DICKS YOU HEAR THAT ?! I also hang out with my friend LIKE A STRAIGHT PERSON. I LOVE HIM LIKE A STRAIGHT PERSON AND I FUCK HIM LIKE A STRAIGHT PERSON. MY WIFE ALSO FUCK ME IN THE ASS SOMETIMES LIKE THE STRAIGHT CHRISTIAN FAMILY WE ARE. Fucking FAGGOTS I WILL NOT SUCK YOUR DICK YOU PIECE OF SHIT I AM STRAIGHT I AM NOT GAY.

>>9625631
>>9625636
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>9625617
That's a really cool image, mind if I post it on my tumblr?

>>9625639
stop bullying them, nerdlord.

>>9625639
>>9625636
>>>/b/
>>>/v/
>>>/sp/
>>>/r9k/

>>9625646
Allow me to play double advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like its a peach of cake.

>>9625646
WHY SHOULD I GO TO THOSE BOARDS? JUST BECAUSE I'M HETEROSEXUAL? FUCK YOU!

>>9625652
That was a pain to read
I guess that was the point

>going to movies alone
>at home I get my mom to pack me spaghetti in a 2-liter bottle
>put it in my fanny pack
>decide to take the bus
>i ask the bus driver where the bus is going, he says something I don't understand
>I say "e-excuse me?"
>he says something and I still don't understand it
>I get on the bus anyway
>Bus takes me through the blackest of all ghettos
>a bunch of black people get on the bus, hooting and throwing their arms and fingers into various contortions
>I clutch my fanny pack and look away
>the walk past me and one says "LOOK AT DIS FAT WYTE MUTHAFUCKA, GOTS A RUG ON HIS NECK NIGGA WAT IS UP WIT DAT"
>I turn my entire body away and start shaking
>"AW SHIT WE SEEIN SUM CRACK BACK HEAH"
>my pants are exposing my butt
>the black people take out a boom box and start playing "WOOP THERE IT IS" and start dancing around my buttcrack in some sort of tribal ritual
>"LEMME SEE SUM MORE OF DAT"
>I awkwardly pull down my pants more
>"WOOP DERE IT IS" 'YOOOOO I BE LIKIN DIS!' they variously exclaim
>the bus finally stops at the movie theatre
>I take out a marker and draw a face on my butt, and then walk off the bus with my hands
>all of them follow me with their boom box, playing "WOOP THERE IT IS" on repeat
>I hand-walk inside and the security guard stops me, saying that I need to leave because I am being indecent
>this enrages my black followers and they start attacking and eating the guard
>everyone starts screaming
>i nervously take out my spaghetti bottle and try to open it
>the pressure launches it as a bottle rocket into the cashier, killing her
>i realize I had a crush on her
>start crying uncontrollably and my exposed face-butt starts sputtering shit
>everyone suddenly turns to me in a roar of laughter
>go home alone

>Be American
>Go to Europe on holiday
>Picking up bags at the baggage claim
>As the bags are coming round people are clapping
>Ask someone what is going on
>"Oh it's just what they do here"
>Confused but leave Airport
>Trying to hail a taxi but not working
>People are just clapping in the street
>Taxis racing to get to the people who are clapping
>Lift my hands up ready to clap
>Everyone stops what they're doing
>Looking at my hands with tentative eyes
>I close them together and make a clap
>Suddenly everyone around me is clapping and applauding my clap
>Taxi races directly at me
>I hop in
>Ask to get to my destination
>Notice the fare is only going up in cents
>Get to destination
>Start paying the guy in cents
>He yells at me
>"SIR WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING?!"
>I tell him I'm paying him
>"LISTEN JOHNNY FOREIGNER WE ONLY TAKE CLAPS ROUND HERE SO YOU BETTER PAY UP OR ILL HAVE TO CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES"
>Grudgingly clap 350 times
>Notice the taxi drivers face slowly lighting up as each clap is delivered
>He's consciously waiting the next one as if he forgot the last one

> Walking to work.
> Walk by the local nuts house, an old alcoholic that supposedly lives with loads of cats and has sex with them.
> Street totally empty, about 7am.
> Just about to put headphones on, when there's a huge bang to my left.
> I turn to see said nut in his doorway in nothing but a gross old vest and boxers, while literally about 50 cats flee out the door at his feet.
> He stands, staring at the sky, apparently unfazed by the cat avalanche, arms outstretched like Moses parting the fucking sea and bellows
> CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTSSS.

>Be 22
>Live with parents in middle-class part of town, going to Uni
>Working as roofer's assistant for summer job; parents spending summer at family lake cottage
>long hours, OK pay, lots of overtime
>Get home late one night
>Feed dog (rottie/lab cross, about 100 pounds)
>go downstairs into basement for shower; drop all my shit on the bathroom floor because I'm along and IDGAF when mom's not home to bitch about my dirty sweaty clothes on the floor
>in shower, soaping ballsack, hear dog going apeshit
>WTF.jpg
>Open shower door, hear someone yelling upstairs
>dog lets out a yelp and whimpering
>AW HELL NAW
>Grab toolbelt from floor - my fucking Roofer's Hatchet gonna be my weapon I guess
>Go charging upstairs, naked and wet, all fucking BERZERKER LEEROY JENKINS MODE
>2 native guys standing in kitchen wailing on my dog; kitchen is getting trashed
>Come up behind first one, he turns and I smoke him on the shoulder; he goes down with a scream
>Second one turns, looks at me, he's got the dog by the collar
>I rush him; he's going for the back door out of the kitchen
>His hand is all tied up in the dog's choke collar, dog falls and he goes down with dog.
>He's got a mini crowbar in his hand
>I'm on his ass, and he's swinging the crowbar at me, clips my biceps and rips it open
>Flailing away with Roofer's hatchet and hit him on forehead
>his buddy is up and opens the door
>we're wrestling on the floor
>everyone did the dinosaur

>I'm in a crowded subway
>a girl holds my shoulders for support since I'm a big guy
>I feel her tits on my back
>get a boner
>she starts breathing heavily on my ear
>look back
>a guy is fucking her from behind
>my boner gets bigger
>she starts wispering "harder! harder" in my ears
>my precum is staining my shorts
>next stop is best buy, it's my stop
>I can't get down because the girl is still getting fucked
>I miss my stop
>guy finishes fucking her
>girl cleans the semen on her vagina with my velvet cape
>I say "I'm s-sorry"
>she looks at me with a weird face
>I mumble "d-do you use a-ati or n-n-nvidia?"
>girl goes away
>I missed my stop, now I have to ride the other subway to bestbuy to buy a mechanical keyboard

However many times I see these they always make me feel terrible inside.

What's wrong with me? I think they're so cute and I feel bad for them... but the thing is I enjoy reading these...

>>9625668
Post more racist ones.

Or more like these >>9625957 since they get me hard.

>Go to see a movie alone
>I'm couple minutes late, the trailers are about to end
>As I walk into the theater, the whole crowd turns to look at me
>One of them yells "HOLY SHIT, HE'S ALONE!"
>Whole theater laughing hysterically as I take my seat
>Calls of "weirdo," "creeper," etc.
>Want to die
>After the movie, the entire audience mobs me in the hallway
>They start dancing in circles around me, chanting deliriously and laughing
>They start singing a nursery rhyme about how only virgins go to the movies alone and how I shot kill myself
>I can't get away because they've joined hands and won't let me escape
>They start throwing their drinks and candy and stuff at me
>"HAHA LOOK AT THE LOSER GETTING STICKY"
>Ushers come by
>They look mad but then they see me in the middle of the crowd
>One of them says "wait, did that fucker come here alone?"
>Ushers join in, start using supersoakers to shoot artificial butter at me
>I'm lying in the fetal position sobbing at this point
>The dancing and chanting continues for over 13 hours
>I'm completely covered in soda, butter, and bits of candy
>Black guy goes NIGGA LOOKS LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE
>Crowd finally disperses
>Cinema manager comes by
>Leans down, whispers in my ear "never come here alone again."
>All I can do is whimper yes sir

You know anons, yukkuri are based on your harmless little friend.....the rats or hamster. You can always buy one and fucking abuse it.

>>9626222
No plz don't

>pic related, my rats i used to have

>>9626222
Yeah if you're a fucking sociopath

>>9626222
But those don't talk like retarded kids.

>>9626222
And they don't take it easy. They're always acting nervous as fuck and trembling when you hold them.

>>9626230
who are you quoting.

>>9626263
lol