/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I waited the whole night for this.

>>949624
So you fused the three pages together?
GJ

Mokou is such a magnificent bastard.

I lol'd

>>949647

but Mokou is a girl so yeah.

So, what's with that yukkuri inflation?

>>949666

It's due to the rising cost of bean paste.

>>949666
One man's fantasies.

Originals are here:
http://tennkoma.blog92.fc2.com/

http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Yukkuri_shiteitte_ne!

>>949672
Frustration seems to lead to the increase of their volume. This could be useful as a market trick: frustrate your yukkuri and sell it as if it was really large.

I dont know why, but whenever i see those things i feel like hurting them

>>949691

Despair makes a Yukkuri taste better.
There are economic reasons for that, as well.

>>949710
We all do.
Also, obligatory:
http://rapidshare.com/files/125683771/yukkuri_no_more.rar.html

I feel like kicking a yukkuri in the fucking face now.

>>949677

Best page on that whole wiki.

>>949716
Is there any other place to kick them?

>>949710
Crying moe.

>>949726
Cunt punt.

Mokou is my new heroine. Heck those fucking yukkuris, I'd taunt them for the rest of their whole entire miserable life, until they die of despair - but just before they die, I'd eat them.

>>949726
Well, it's not like the face covers their entire circumference. It has to be right in the middle of their eyes. I wanna feel how my feet plunges inside their soft bodies and bam!...wooh, I got hard.

>>949726
The back?

They do seem to have some sort of abstraction capacity, however. I remember this fic in which that mother was fed with her children(as usual) and then she shouted "Reimu ate Reimu!!!". Well, if it can recognize certain caracteristics that lead to such classification, it means that it can create mental representations of material elements. They are not so retarded after all.

Also, the wiki lacks the green-type, adept of agricultural projects.

Mokou is awesome

>>949677
We should add "-Inflates when angered" and "-They say things relative to their state. For example, they will say "it's like I'm in the plains" when running or "it's like I'm flying" when flying (usually when caught by birds)"
Also, they may say "stop or I'll get angry!" when angry.

This is awful. Please stop hurting them! ;_;

Yuka offered a yukkuri family a place where they can take it easy and can get some food. Purely out of kindness. Seriously.

>>949815
She realized her mistake later. To be continued.

>>949815
The only sane person in Gensokyo.

>>949829
Yukkuris can urinate?

>>949849
According to only this author, yes. Just to make them more disgusting. I wouldn't take that as canon.

>>949849
You don't want to know...

>>949815
>>949829
And I thought Yuka was cool... an idol has fallen

>>949829
moar, plz kill them all

/r/ Yukkuri guro

>>949885
Her yukkuri is still the best.

>>949849
Impossible, their insides are exclusively made of bean paste, and anything they eat turns to bean paste as well - no way urine can be produced.
Not many ppl would like to bite into a yukkuri and have a full bladder pop between their teeth.

>>949916
You have a point there. Gross.

>>949916
... You just had to say that, didn't you?

Where the hell is summary Anon?

Oh well, keep the yukkuri facts coming, guys.

>>949815
>>949829
/r/ translation
In return, guro

And more...

>>949916
hahaha oh wow

All this Yukkuri abuse is getting me hard

>>950018
YES!
Kill them all!

>>950039
MUDADA

>>950059

wat wat

They die for good if they are eaten

which why yukkuri yuyuko is one of the most fearsome Yukkuri

>>950090
Then will she turn into a Miko Swordsmen?

Yukkuri can regenerate.

But they die for good if eaten or if they die of despair (losing their accessory, mental torture, ect)

>>950101
>die of despair
>mental torture
I would so do that. Wtf is wrong with me

>>950349

uh oh

Meanwhile, somewhere else.

>Red yukkuris take it easy three times faster and taste salty. For this reason, they tend to call themselves "Triple X", where X is the species they belong to. They also superfuck (3x more fucking) other yukkuris, and are capable of reaching 10 times the speed of the regular yukkuri when angered.

Dammit, I laughed so damn hard.

>>951044

Take it easy, Meiling.

These don't look so distressed in water.. yet.

>>949941
Recovering from exams, sorry for the delay. I plan to post a few summaries today and tomorrow.

Yay! All hail SA!

A new yukkuri repellent, a form of incense, has recently become very popular, especially among farmers. One group of Reimu-Marisa-Chen-Myon attempt to ravage a field, but get driven away by the incense. Upon hiding in a cave, and while discussing how horrible that was, they get caught by the factory guys with a net and taken to a room. One of the employees brings them a box, which they think contains food, but it actually contains incense. Still in the net, they can do nothing but scream. The man takes the Reimu out, but before it can thank him he puts it into the incense box. It starts throwing up its bean paste. The other yukkuris are going crazy, some throwing up and some eating the vomited bean paste. In the end, the Reimu has shrunk to a tiny size, but it's still alive. The man crushes it, rolls up its skin on a stick, and puts its accessory on the end. He then puts the Chen in the box, and lights that stick. The Chen starts screaming, and the other two are laughing like maniacs, driven insane by the incense. The materials used for its production are the best kept secret of the factory; skin and accessories of yukkuris.

I wish to be a little factory employee

You folks need to learn to take it easy.

I suppose thats why I don't feel that Yukkuri need to be subject of such abuse, as a southern gentleman, I can see much similarity's between them and myself.

fuck you people, the yukkaris are adorable and i'd adopt them all (while giving special care to keep hostile types seperated)

>>951669
I can agree somewhat with you, I feel a little pity and sympathy for their pain; only a little.

Anon is a farmer who grows strawberries. This year's crop was somewhat bad, so he can't eat them, but upon reading the Hieda family's Yukkuri Dictionary, he gets an idea. He catches a family of Yukkureimus, and goes to the factory to exchange them with a large Chen and two small Alices and Patchoulis. He takes them home, puts strawberries, bread and marshmellow in a plate, and cuts open the Chen. (It screams, of course.) Its filling is chocolate cream, and he intends to make a parfait. He takes the strawberries, dips them in Chen and eats them. He then goes on to the main dish. Alices are filled with custard, so he takes one with his fork (It speaks in a somwhat ladylike manner. "Ooow!!! It hurts!!! Let me go easy!!! Alice is from a city sect!!!") and dips it in the Chen ("Alice is from a city sect, so it feels good!!!"). He then eats it, ignoring the screams coming from inside his mouth. ("Don't bite me!!! Alice is from a city sect!!!") He eats the rest of the yukkuris, throws the used Chen away, and goes for a walk. He plans to catch more yukkuris.

Note: we don't know if the Chen=chocolate cream part is canon yet, but the Alice=custard part is canon. I think.

When is NEET going to appear and save the yukkuris?

>>951908
The NEET also tortures yukkuris, so no hope there.

>>951861
"I'd like to go one day!"

Note that the yukkuris do suffer if they can't breathe, but they won't asphyxiate.

>>951908
>4. Kaguya owns a yukkuri Chen and tends to spoil it, so it's quite self-absorbed.. One day, they go to an underground lab, where Kaguya puts it on a red-hot iron plate. She then sews its eyes shut. (Its exclamation it "I don't get it!"; "getting it" is as precious to yukkuri Chens as "taking it easy" is to the rest of the yukkuris.) Since then, it spent the whole day trembling in a corner. A few weeks later, Kaguya takes it to the laboratory and sews its mouth shut, leaving a small hole to feed it. It now serves as an armrest. Whenever Kaguya needs a massage, she clips one of its tails with a pair of scissors. The convulsions feel good.

ＴＡＫＥ　ＩＴ　ＥＡＳＹ！！！

If anything, this just proves that Japan is even more fucked up than the rest of the world.

>>952072

America really gives it a run for its money.

You're American so you think America is normal, but trust me, you guys are batshit insane.

>>952084
That may be true, but America doesn't try to hide it. In a way, it's a source of national pride. Japan, however, tries its best to cover how fucked up it is with polite manners and fake smiles.

I'm Russian, I'm not really batshit insane, but I like yukkuri abuse. Proceed.

ｉｃｈ　ｍｏｅｃｈｔｅ　ｄｉｅｓｅｓ　ｙｕｋｋｕｒｉ　ｎｉｃｈｔ　ｋ
ａｕｆｅｎ　ｂｉｔｔｅ．

What are these dreadful creatures?

>>952200
>>949677

>>951861
Because the soul of Japan is definitely disembodied head blobs.

Draw your own yukkuri.

What if Yukkuris had stands?

>>952481
Ganzan Ryozan Ha does not work against Yukkuri because they have neither a skull nor a brain. ;_;

>>952680
MOEEEEEE~!

>>952688

Does anyone know what ZUN would think of a Yukkuri game? I know he's supportive of fanart/music, but what about fan games? Would that be coming too close toinfringing on his work?

I am seriously thinking about making at least some 2d game based on yukkuri.

>>952744
There's plenty of fanmade Touhou games, newfag.

>>952751

Examples?

>>952766

http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Other_Games

>>952772

Thanks, that was actualy helpful.

>>955334
OMG IT'S MARISA

>>952481
Yukkuri...They don't have pressure points!
Your fighting style is useless!
...But your muscle isn't, I mean really, you can just tear them in half with your bare hands.

>>955367
Kenshiro doesn't need pressure points.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLn433e991o

>>952744
>I am seriously thinking about making at least some 2d game based on yukkuri.

As long as there's some torturing/bullying/killing of Yukkuris, I'm in

>>955389
Its going to be an eroge!

Where would regeneratan yukkuri fit?

>>955398

>>952744
How about a yukkuri raising game? Start with a koyukkuri and do whatever you want with it. Get money by taking it easy and selling stuff it finds.

You can buy companions too. Or are you going with the eroge?

>>955415
HOW ABOUT A GAME WHERE YOU SMASH THE YUKKURIS WITH THE BASEBALL BAT AND SEE WHICH ONE GOES THE FARTHEST

>>955427
You'd be able to do that, too.

>>955398
While constantly getting head from them sounds sexy enough for an eroge, it is not enough...

>>955415
With the "crush" option repeated from time to time, I hope. Or the option to include more creative forms of killing it (treadmill, I'm looking at you!)

>>955430
Other items to take it hard would be available, but they'd cost money.

Spam the take it easy button, okay?

>>955412
Is she crying, or facepalming?

>>955434
Little of column A, little of column B.

>>955412
What is she saying?

>>955467
"I don't know what's what anymore"

>>955505
So she is crying ;_;

Are there any yukkuri games? Please link me.

>>951755

What are Patchoulis filled with? Diseased lungs?

>>955585
I think they have coal mixed with their paste.

>>955585
paper mush probably

>>955585
Cancer and love

>>955585
Bean paste. Their bean paste is low in iron, however.

>>955334
Translations?

Can it be abuse tiem again?

>>956051
Ah, yes, this feeling of psychological terror. I want to shatter their little minds...

>>956051
ahhahahahaha

>>956051

SO BALD

>>952744
make it like pokemon

>>956166
I'd love to see that fishing part. Without the shoops, of course

Are there any yukkuri bullying vids on nico? I see a bunch of stuff, but no bullying or gore or anything of the like.

>>955334
need translation.

> It is easy to gain a yukkuri’s trust under the pretense of taking it easy.
I don't know why, but I lol'd

I was reaading through the wiki and found this
>Alice-types rely on other yukkuris to reproduce. They gain the trust of a pre-existing yukkuri village and secretly kill off the children. Then, the remaining yukkuris of the village are gangraped until they die from giving birth to more Alice-types. Alice-types may also just go around in rape-posses, preying on any and all yukkuris they encounter. However, there are consensual Alice-types, who behave much like Reimu-types and Marisa-types. Alice-types are filled with custard.

Seriously, where'd you guys get this from? What's the name of the doujin?

>>956376
Ah, that entry was my favorite to write.

Anon is observing an isolated yukkuri village, probably for research. He notes that they all live happily, except for one thing. Every day, half of them go out to gather food, and half stay home to play with the children. When they return, there's always a hassle of such proportions that the mothers lose the children. Some get taken by other mothers, and some (approximately 3 per day) get targeted by two mothers, in which case they both pull it apart trying to take it from each other. In most cases, its real mother is in a feeding trance ("This shit's good!!!") and doesn't notice.

Some time later, a group of yukkuri Alices came to the village. They were recieved well, and they got along quite well with everyone, especially the kids. However, Anon noticed that the kids started decreasing. So, he gets a pair of Nitori-made night vision goggles and goes to see what happens during the night. It turns out that the Alices go into the others' nests, smash the children, and rape the teenaged ones in their sleep. Said teenaged ones wake up to find out that their children are missing, and they have a tendril full of yukkuri Alices sprouting from their heads. After a while, they've overrun the village. They gather the mothers together and gang-rape them. Some of them are sprouting dozens of tendrils, which kills them. After that, having nothing more to pillage, the Alices left for another place.

I want several people to steal the Yukkuris' accessories, see if they all chase you around. Just fucking take it easy.

>>956386
I never would have thought anything related to Alice would be so evil and non-lonely.

SON OF A BITCH MOKOU!

>>956386
Those Alice Yukkuris must be a damned virus, it does nothing but consume and after the resources are gone, they move elsewhere.

I've been wondering: what will happen if you steal a Yukkuri's accesory (or many) and go where they can't follow you, like the moon or the depths of the ocean?

>>956831

Oh lol.

>>956831

Eirin sells the secret recipe to the Lebanese; Jerusalem falls within days.

>>956831
Yukkuri Self-Propelled Grenade? FUCK YES!

>>956831

Eirin's new shady drug.

sage for yukkuri shit

>>956831
haha oh wow

>>956874
age for Gaia newfag

>>956887
wait what

>>956874
Kinda futile,no? 145 posts and NOW you sage, I think you need work a little faster.

>>956831
Uho, nice one.

And we have a new species: Mokotan.
Three men are chasing an extremely rare Mokotan through the bamboo thicket. They can recover from almost any injury, and it's said that eating one will extend your lifespan by 3 years. They corner it, but Mokou appears and drives them away. Mokotan wants to take it easy with Mokou in return, but Mokou explains that she wants to experiment with another immortal to find out which ways of killing are the most painful, for use against Kaguya. So after a while she asks "Which was the most painfu, getting bathed in ol and set on fire, getting impaled with bamboo sticks, or getting crushed?" "All of them hurt!!! ;_;" In the end, it decides that burning is the most painful. It then asks for permission to leave, but Mokou has other plans, such as pulling out its insides through its eye sockets, cutting off the top and removing its filling, and other things. After half a day, Mokotan had suffered permanent psychological damage.

>"Which was the most painful, getting bathed in oil

I need sleep.

>>956898
>Mokou explains that she wants to experiment with another immortal to find out which ways of killing are the most painful

BEST TOUHOU EVER, OR BEST TOUHOU EVER?

>>956898
awesome

>>956898

hahaha oh wow

>>956898
So is a Mokotan a Mokou version of Remirya?

>>956949
It's a head-only affair, but it's much harder to kill. And it's not mind-numbingly annoying, as Remirya is.

>>956959
That relationship didn't last long. The Yukkurisa was annoying right off the bat

>>956898
>pulling out its insides through its eye sockets
Oh Mokou, you are the best girl ever.

>>956799
Such a behaviour doesn't need to indicate a virus, merely a life-form which due to mobility has a "habitat" larger than the immediate surroundings. Thus population size will reach equilibrium with the resources of a large area, whereas if you look at just a small area the pack will appear as utterly devastating. Population control due to control will then kick in once there are too many of the creature around for a devastated areas to recover in time, as per usual.

Also, the Yukkuriver sisters: Yukkulyrica, Yukkuri Merupo and Yukkuri Lunasa. They can sing better than other yukkuris, and they can actually remember songs. In a certain yukkuri village, whose denizens love events, the Yukkuriver sisters have planned a concert. The audience consists of all kinds of yukkuris, even Remiryas and Flandres, but the power of music overcomes the food chain. They start singing nonsensical lyrics (about food, masturbation, Code Geass OP parodies etc), off-key, and without paying any attention to each other, but all the yukkuris are cheering; this is much better than what the average yukkuri can do. A yukkuri Mystie gets excited and goes on stage with them, and eventually the whole audience is singing (different songs). A man then appears, demanding that the heads shut up so he can sing. He kicks the yukkuris off the stage (made of cardboard boxes) and gets on. They're pissed off, but as soon as he tells them to have fun easy, they get excited. His singing, however, is so horrible that even the yukkuris beg him to stop. Their skin starts rupturing and they start ejecting bean paste from their mouths and eyes. When he stops singing, more than 200 yukkuri corpses lie before him.

Also:
Yukarin-types consider themselves beautiful.
Cirno-types are called Cirnoff.
The man wore an orange shirt and deep blue pants, is that a reference to anything? He also called himself ore-sama.

>>957061

Are yukkuri Merupos as insane as regular Merupos?

>>957061
>power of music overcomes the food chain.
Lol, Macross. Lacked some Yukakkuri.

>>957061
I wonder who that man was... DMC?

>>957080
No, they're as retarded as the regular yukkuri.

>>957090
I did get some Macross vibes. The "listen to my song" guy, perhaps? I haven't seen much.

>>957061
You can kill the Yukkuris merely by SINGING?
Quick! Someone get some death metal albums!

>>957102
>listen to my song

>>957102
Damn it Anon. You know the Code Geass OPs, but never seen Macros -oh nevermind. None of that stuff matters here in /jp/.

As long as you take it easy, then I will respect you. Let's all take it easy together.

>>957215

ｍｅｓｓｅｄ　ｕｐ　ｋｅｗｐｉｅ　ｄｏｌｌ　ｓｈｉｔ

You take my easy, I take your easy, bro.

Take it easy!

>>957215
Well, you know how it is, series piling up, no time to watch them all, and sometimes no time at all...I do intend to correct that mistake, though.

>>957308

But Macross is a classic...

>>957310
I know, I do intend to watch it. I just didn't have the time until now.

>>949624

Also, I can't take it easy until more of this series is completed.

>>957061
>>957091

The singing dude MUST be Jaian from Doraemon.

d'awwwww

>>957310
Not everyone on /jp/ even watches animu.

>>957428
Enjoys the bullying

>>957428
I think it says "hit me more, okay?".

>>957428
Is the tenshi yukkuri filled with peaches?

>>957460
Millions of peaches.
Peaches for free.
Millions of peaches.
Peaches for me.

instant yukkuri, fuck yeah

I've grown to feel sorry for yukkuri when I see them bullied or killed.

I find it odd that I feel compassion for imaginary balls, but not for other human beings.

I carve for more sories...

And then China was awesome.

Shameimaru is playing tennis over there!

Who would win in a fight, Yukkuris or Jissousekis?

The factory has announced five new products. We would like to invite you all to test them.

1) Instant Yukkuri Soup
A package with a small hole, containing rice and a live koyukkuri. All you have to do is pour boiling water into the hole. You may consider the screams as an elegant BGM, and when they stop, your soup is ready.

2) Bagged Yukkuris
A large number of koyukkuris in a bag. Saves you the trouble of carrying them seperately. Depending on your taste, you may eat the first one in front of the others, so the horror makes their bean paste sweeter, or you can eat them secretly, to keep the babylike sourness.

3) Capsule Yukkuri
Not food, but entertainment. Newborn yukkuris in a small tube with holes, through which you can pour orange juice to feed them. (Scientific research has shown that they can survive with only orange juice, but thei won't grow larger.) When they grow up, they will trust you completely, so even if you tell them to eat each other they won't object.

4) Iced Yukkuri
A box with one Cirnoff in each corner. Place a yukkuri in the middle and leave it overnight. (You may want to cover it with something to stifle the screams.) The next morning, you can file it and obtain a wonderful topping for many sweets.

5) Instant Remirya
A Remirya in a special box. All you have to do is immobilize it, and eat the parts you want. If the screaming bothers you, a special soundproof mask is included.

We hope you enjoy or new line of products!

You know, for all the mentions of Flandre Yukkuris, I've yet to see one depicted anywhere. Are they really stealthy, camera shy, hard to locate, or just subject to the "can't get an image/reflection" vampire trait?

>>957942
They've appeared many times. They usually eat/break/slaugher something and leave.

On a related note, what happens when either of the Scarlet types spots a Yukkuri in a house with closed sliding glass doors? Do they try and swoop down anyway, only to bounce off the glass with a loud wet slap and roll about in a daze? Do they learn that they can't get through the glass, or do they keep trying in a flurry of bouncing, flapping, and ineffective biting? And should they give up, will they lurk in the branches of a nearby tree until an entrance opens, or just flap off and hunt it easy somewhere else?

>>958012
The first two, and the fourth. It usually gows like this:
-Oh, food!
*swoop*
*bash*
Re: Zaguyaaa!!! Beat up the door and bring me pudding!!! or
Fl: RAGE you damned door!!!
After a while, they'll leave. Flandre may return for revenge, or forget it altogether. Remirya won't.

>>957927
I'm going to be sick. Eating food that moves?
...Now if they sold them as fuck toys, that'd be a different story!
ahahahahaha

>>957927
Sorta want...

>>958094
When you see it...

bump or autosage?

>>955334
wheres the translated version of this?

>>960149
seconded