/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Pictures of Pygma-chan. I had a couple of her photos laminated so I wouldn't have to waste so much printer paper.

By watching you sleep

By lifting them

What are my rocks on, and why do they need to be moved?

Pseudo-esoteric 19th century philosophy. I also thoroughly enjoy various things I encounter on the internet.

>>8964607
>Pygmy waifu

Furiously masturbating to pictures of Kirisame Marisa while listening to a heavy metal arrange of love colored masterspark or casket of star

3D girls fisting as hard as possible.

>>8964684
Have you self/been formally diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder? Are you overweight, wear anime themed clothing, have facial hair and/or actively wear a fedora?

Make 2 fists and punch each testicle as hard as I can in alternating fashion until white and/or red comes out of my pee hole

I peed and faped in the woods the other day.
I am now a man.

>>8964739
i faped ur mom lul

For me it's got to be NTR eroge. I can't achieve climax with anything else anymore.

I've actually taken to masturbating while playing bayonetta one handed these days. It's like the game was made for it anyways, with the beginner mode and all.

It's a combination of killing all those angels and watching them explode as bayonetta spreads her legs and cracks the whip or lands with that massive axe you take from the large angel as his flesh sears off.
I can't really explain what it is, but I can always cum in a big fight.

>>8964716

>Have you self/been formally diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder? Are you overweight, wear anime themed clothing, have facial hair and/or actively wear a fedora?

Yes to all above.

>>8964607
Would you mind sharing some Pygma-Chan pics?

>>8964995
thats fuken gay

Sometimes I drink raw eggs and pretend I'm swallowing cum. Is this weird?

>>8964995
I imagine that would taste strange.

>>8965002
I have no idea what cum tastes like, I just know eggs are supposed to have a similar texture.

>>8965011
Have you never tried your own semen?
It's wonderful.

>>8965011
once I got some on my hand by accident so I tasted it and it was not that bad

>>8965043
I don't have semen, you dork.

>>8965095
Why did you cut it off?

>>8964995
Come around and see me, together we can get past the pretending.

I have a strict masturbation routine which I follow each day.

1. Play http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfjKG3ZP3AA and place it on a constant loop. This sets the mood.
2. Read doujinshi and masturbate.
3. Orgasm three hours later. Force myself to last this long through constant edging.
4. Immediately stand up as quickly as possible so it throws off my blood pressure, my eye sight goes black, and I pass out for a few seconds.

It's a wild road of fury and passion and I ride that road every day.

>>8965170
You spend 20% of the time you're awake jerking off? Maybe some of that time could be spent learning math.

>>8965199

>learning math

That's not fun, so it's a waste of time.

>>8965220
And masturbating is fun?

>>8965231
Why would you do things that aren't fun unless you get something for it?

>>8965220

>masturbating
>fun

underage detected

masturbating to pictures i find online
masturbating to doujins
masturbating to videos

>>8965231

Of course, don't you enjoy it too? The best part though is the masturbation rather than the orgasm. The orgasm feels good, but the intense focus and enjoyment of whatever material you're reading is what makes it good.

Doujinshi is 100x more interesting when you are masturbating as you read it than if you just read it normally.

See, you kill two birds with one stone. Not only do you get the happiness of masturbation, but you get the happiness of reading and feeling immersed in a story.

>>8965043
How do you get past the refractory period.

>>8965247
Oh yeah, doujins are written so well.

>>8965255

Elitism limits your options and gives nothing in return.

If I can eat shit and enjoy it, but your tastes are too good to enjoy it then you're the one that misses out. Having bad tastes means that everything I read is enjoyable, but having good tastes means that only the most high quality things will be readable to you and the higher the quality the rarer it is.

>>8965247
But why is it so fun?
We only masturbate because our bodies tell us to.

>>8965270

>But why is it so fun?

Masturbation is fun because of the chemicals that are released during the act which makes it feel enjoyable. That's the only reason why anything is fun.

If you take a step back and really look at things then nothing in life is inherently fun. Our bodies just make certain activities feel enjoyable.

I dry edge for 6 hour sessions (5 min break every 45min) to guro/ryona (including games) and every Pixiv R-18/R-18G picture posted.

My penis stands true.
My penis stands strong.
I am life.
I spill the seed of the unknown one, the one who does not yet live.
Through my seed I become life.
I am death and I am life.
The seed and sower.
The baby and the dragon.

I can only get off to text stories. Also

>masturbating on table edges

WHY DO I KEEP SEEING THIS? DO GIRLS ACTUALLY DO THIS?? WTFF

>>8965319
>WHY DO I KEEP SEEING THIS? DO GIRLS ACTUALLY DO THIS?? WTFF
Answer this, please. Thank you

>>8965319
>>8965321
Yes they do, you are welcome.

>>8965319
I'm a guy and I did this as a child.

>>8965325

wit ur ASS?

>>8965326
No, I would tuck it between my legs and it would feel really good.

>>8965325
>I'm a guy and I did this as a child.

Thats CODE for GAY ASS

>>8965323
That doesn't explain much, you buttmuncher

traps, asians, and 2d asian traps

>>8965331
We've got the pun of the year here, folks.

Lately I read Tailchaser or get raped in MGQ.

>>8965436
You sick fuck.

kemonono more like kemoyes

>>8965462

Please don't bully me!

>>8965474
Yes, I agree. No bullying, please.

I really like it when I am asphyxiating myself and I can feel my heart slowing.

Too depressed to fap.

>>8965491
How can you do that without passing out?

Position my dick pointing up towards my head with my right hand as I lay on my stomach, then grab my balls with my left hand and move my hips on their own so that the friction between the bed/the floor, my dick, and my stomach causes orgasm.

>>8965495
I press my face into my pillow and focus on my heart rate. In adults, the heart stops beating very soon after breathing stops. After a while though it gets hard to ignore that other feeling that comes with asphyxia so I yet to actually pass out or die from this. I'm not going to lie though, the though of my heart fully stopping and sending me into eternal peace sounds so very inviting.

>>8965575

do it faggot

>>8965575
Bullshit I can hold my breath for a whole minute and still live.

>>8965591
"Very soon" is not immediate. If you are still conscious, it is a safe bet that your heart has not fully stopped.

From my CPR training, it is assumed that if a person stopped breathing unexpectedly via any way but choking (while retaining consciousness) that their heart has stopped or is about to stop. In adults, anyway. Infants and children are different.

I imagine Ogiue drawing penises with one hand, and doing something else with the other.

>>8967868
Why would he need to draw 2 penises at the same time?

I do some entry-level self bondage.

But recently I pierced my nipples couple times.

My god it was amazing. I can barely wait until they get healed before I do it again.

>>8964865

Really, really fast because I live in a house with seven people, all with interfering schedules, never leaving me any alone time.

>>8964995
>Sometimes I drink raw eggs and pretend I'm swallowing cum. Is this weird?

It's not weird, it's just lazy and inefficient.

Here:

>This recipe for theatrical cum looks like real cum, has no sugar (so as to discourage yeast), and has a neutral taste so that you can really get into the fantasy. Because it contains raw egg white you should make it fresh right before use and discard the leftovers. If you are concerned about using raw egg, either don't swallow it (half the fun!), or use pasteurized egg whites, which can be purchased in most supermarkets. However, fresh egg gives a better consistency.

>1 cup water

>2 tablespoons cornstarch

>1 raw egg white

>1 tablespoon plain yogurt

>pinch of salt

>Dissolve cornstarch in ¼ cup of water and set aside. Bring the remaining water and a pinch of salt to a simmer in a small saucepan, then stir the cornstarch to redissolve it and stir it in. Simmer and stir the mixture for about two minutes, it will be very thick. Cool the mixture thoroughly. If you don't let it cool the egg will get cooked. If you are impatient, set the pan in a bowl of ice and stir to speed the cooling. When cool, stir in the egg white and yogurt. Mix thoroughly with a wire whisk until smooth. If you want a little more flavor you can add ¼ teaspoon of vanilla extract and some Equal or Splenda for sweetness when you add the egg.

Make sure the starch is cooked through because otherwise it has a distinct taste.

You're welcome.

>>8968139
You know that is for women, right? Your own penis can provide you with all the semen you could want.

>>8968146
My penis provides me with a spoonful of semen at a time at best, which is unsuitable for any interesting play.

Oh, one thing I forgot: make sure you warm up the mixture after it's finished to a bit above body temperature. Between that and getting the saltiness just right, the end product is pretty amazing. Personally, I keep it in a thermo-insulated cup to keep it deliciously while you're doing whatever it is that you want to do. Unless you cover yourself in the whole thing at once or something.

>>8968146
Real cum tastes horrible. At least mine does.

>>8968170
You haven't heard? It depends on what you eat. At least to an extent.

>>8968170
That's the point. It's not supposed to be "tasty" in the regular sense of the world.

That said, mine is so horribly bitter at times even being turned on can't help me get over it. But only sometimes.

>>8968170
>>8968171
>>8968172
I have an incredibly unhealthy diet but thankfully my metabolism is extremely fast. I have no idea why but my semen has an alcoholic taste to it. I don't even drink alcoholic beverages. It also gets me extremely horny to the point of getting a boner almost immediately after climaxing. I can do this thrice in a row, by which point almost nothing comes out.

>>8968139
Alternatively you can just mix some flour, water, and salt together on the stove. Don't remember how much, though.
>>8968188
My semen sometimes has a light coffee flavor to it. Still, unless I immediately gather some with my opposite hand it shove it in my mouth while climaxing, I can't get myself to eat it.

Anyway, I try not to fap that much because everytime I ejaculate, my skills in touhou and other shmups decreases greatly, and takes days to recover. And then after waiting so many days, the mess is huge, and that also puts me off from doing it.

I really like to play a video game and lose horribly over and over, especially if I'm either a female character or losing to female characters. Recently did it with Sword Girls Online. I would play several matches and throw them just after getting into a winning position. Afterwards my dick would be a large hadron collider and I would cum little black holes.

>>8968210

I like to lose to make the other players feel better about themselves.

It makes me happy hearing them be happy.

>>8968210
So being horny makes you better at games?

>>8968313
I'm fairly sure that's true. Recently I've started looking at lewd pictures before playing, though I haven't done it long enough to confirm it.

>>8968210
>Alternatively you can just mix some flour, water, and salt together on the stove. Don't remember how much, though.
It's nowhere near as realistic in texture, color, or taste, though.
>>8968313
Well, I did hear that not fapping for a couple days leads to increased levels of testosterone, so maybe it's that?

thats private!

>>8968210
>>8968313
For me it's the opposite. I remember when I had urges for the first time, when I was 15. I couldn't concentrate at all playing battlefield 2, at the time for unknown reasons. My scores and capabilities at any game were rock bottom, even those I was a master on. I know I'll raise up a couple of edgy flags for saying this, but I thought I was in love with someone. Then one day, I wake up in the middle of the night yet again with the urge to piss but with a boner (the urge would disappear as soon as I concentrated enough to make my penis flaccid again). Though, this one time, I instinctively started stroking my penis. I came, cleaned myself with toilet paper and went to sleep. The next day I was a carefree, genius videogamer again. At the time I felt relieved because, besides the theory of me being in love, I thought I had somehow lost my skills.

>>8968344
Can you please tell me?

>>8969434

I would also like to know.

>>8968344
If you don't post it here I will post as many lewd pictures as I can on /jp/ in the next 10 minutes. When I do, it will be all your fault.

SAVE US dntf**kwitmeormyfriends-chan!

/jp/ purity is at stake!

>>8969530
That isn't worth fighting for.

>>8969509
>>8969489
>>8969434
you didnt do it.. wwww your all talk...

i convince a stranger on chat site that i am underage and female and have him teach me about sex.

>>8970515
I am very interested in how you masturbate.
If you are so reluctant to share it must be very special indeed.

Can you make a desk pay child support once you've had sex with it? Yes/Not/Which states.


>How do you get your rocks off?
I masterbate.

Delicious Rustle flavored loli is all I need.

>>8968169
>My penis provides me with a spoonful of semen at a time at best
save it up in a bottle, store it in the fridge, and reheat when needed

or just stop fapping so frequently.. you are probably getting smaller loads because of that

>>8971382
Does reheated semen have the same consistency as freshly ejaculated semen? For instance, when I ejaculate on a picture, the semen will be very white and thick for about two minutes, then it will turn more runny.

>>8970926
hmph

>>8971598

3 girls at front have identical faces.

>>8971602
no cordelia has a smaller mouth and her eyebrows are less slanted and you can see her lower lip

nero has a different shaped mouth and her eyes are different

THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENt

>>8968169
I takes about 72 hours to accumulate full load, take a good long one after saving it up and compare.

>>8968344
>>8970515
>>8971598
>>8971614
MEIDOOOOOOOOOOO

I like to masturbate to images of Sherlock Shellingord while imagining she's dntf**kwitme

>>8973291
Why would you sexualize such an innocent pure girl?

>>8973291
Don't we all.

>>8973295
Because she's cute.

>>8973303
Is nothing sacred anymore?

>>8973291
Turns out that guy is some kid who lives in northern England

>>8973308
When it comes to 2D, nothing's sacred.

Is this thread really from Saturday?

>>8965170

Actually, I do something similar to this, interestingly enough. Only difference is different music.

Sometimes its only 2 hours though, because I am a pleb and a failure as a person.

>>8973328
Reading is pretty hard huh?

>>8973328
Are you surprised?

>>8973328
Help I'm stupid and I can't get up

>>8973296
>>8973268
dont do that please

>>8973295
i dont know either ;~;

>>8973291
O_O

>>8973344
Yes, disappointed in the mods.

>>8973357
Delete your posts else I'll start fapping to the thought of my big fat cock plunging in and out of your tight little asshole.

>>8973367
nsj already did.. :(
please dont think that

>>8965170
Wow dude enjoy that brain damage.

>>8973403
It's not like he had much to lose.

shower water into rectum and fap

>>8973296
>>8973268
dont do that please

>>8973295
i dont know either ;~;

>>8973291
O_O

>>8973367
nsj already did.. :(
please dont think that

reposting becuase nsj deleted my ontopic post by mistake
I WOTN SUBMIT TO BULLYS

>>8973423
NSJ is jealous of you. He will never be cute like you. You probably make him feel inadequate because of how pure you are and how you don't like lewd things.

>>8973423
Too late now, I've already fapped to that thought, just imagine me stroking my big hard cock to the thought of you.

>>8973431
totally :) i hate him

>>8973434
IW OTN IMAGINE THAT

>>8973422
Shit, I miss my previous shower head, it was removable and the hose was just perfect for this.

The new one is too big and has sharp angles. Bummer.

I usually try to look for short, non-cannon(or from a meta-verse) storyline, and just imagine scenarios as I watch. Most recent one was the BRS TV series.
That hospital scene with Kagari and Yomi. That basketball camp scene. That mental breakdown of Yomi's. That counselor-choking scene. That STR-BRS fight. The dominating force had a cock on, and when the underdog started fighting back, they would sprout one as well.
Sadly, such a type of series is rare, so it gets stale quickly, and I just go vanilla every now and then.

>>8973972
Mo' money, mo' nendos

I like to find forced feminization doujinshi.
I also like gender bender and loli doujinshi.

with a promise ill only do it once today, and failure till the pain in my penis is directly proportional to my shame.