/jp/ - Otaku Culture

It's her fault.

You picked a poor image to start with.

Alice doesn't look lonely in this image, just autistic.

She's real if you want her to be

>>884956
Meiling is wearing no panties and hogging two seats. She's asking for it.

Was the aim of your third paragraph to give us all huge boners? Because, uh, you succeeded.

>>884956

I want to sit next to Kaguya and let her drool on me.

Because she's an attention whore.

>>884993
Me too brother, me too.
>>884956
We don't, they're all just tsundere. I'd love Alice tenderly.

>Why are you so cold to Alice?
Stopped right there.

EVERYONE HAS THE SAME SHOES

>>884985
Meiling NEEDS two seats.

Why is Cirno so cold to Alice?

>>885023
I doubt Cirno and Alice ever even interact with eachother

>>885023
>>885020

>>885033 butthurt

>>885029
DURR HURR DERP DERP

>>885016

dat ass

datassnigger.jpg

Also, anyone have that "Happy birthday... to... me..." Alice copypasta?

Kaguya's sleepy because we stayed up all night having sex and playing MGS4.

>>884985

How did I NOT notice that?

INCOMING FUTA

OP, it looks like you've read into my mind. This is exactly my feelings for the relationship between /jp/ and Alice. Fuck you, /jp/, Alice is loev.

>>885041
ಠ_ಠ

>>885063
You're confusing yourself for Mokou

>>885067
I love Alice too but I'm not as vocal about it and I just hide the ronery Alice threads. I'm the guy who does the Kaguya/Kaguya x Mokou image dumps.

When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how misguided Alice Margatroid is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that we live in a deeply troubled society. I begin with critical semantic clarifications. First, we must provide a trenchant analysis of Alice's sentiments. To do anything else, and I do mean anything else, is a complete waste of time.

Alice's argument that she is entitled to impede the free flow of information is hopelessly flawed and entirely circuitous. Our future is hopeless indeed if we do not denounce Alice's manifestos. She will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if she didn't, you might come to realize that her fixation with phlegmatic palookas is pugnacious. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if she finds a way to use scapegoating as a foil to draw anger away from more accurate targets. Alice is utterly mistaken if she believes that she can change her loathsome ways. It may seem difficult at first to shout back at her propaganda. It is. But if everyone does his own, small part, together we can build a sane and healthy society free of her destructive influences. Now that you've read this letter, let me challenge you, the reader, not just to help me rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause, but also to educate others about what I've written.

>>885073
Too lies; didn't read

>>884956
look at reimu, dressing like a real skank

>>884956

You. You are what's wrong with Alice fans. It's not like Alice was shunned by Gensokyo and forced into her position, she lives on her own out in the forest because she wants to, because she's engrossed in her magical research trying to perfect her doll magic to create a doll with free will. Shanghai isn't independent, none of her dolls are, she's just a wooden doll under Alice's complete control.

She keeps to herself mostly, sometimes Marisa will bother her, other times when something concerns her she'll both Marisa. She gets invited to parties (IaMP) and Suika has a go at her for being more friendly with the humans then she is with Youkai (but then, who didn't Suika drunkenly rant about?). The human villagers avoid her because she a creepy Youkai, but they know she's relatively safe and will even allow someone trapped in the forest late at night to bunk at her place (but most don't because it's a house full of creepy dolls that do all the work).

tl;dr - Alice isn't some sad pathetic creature, she's a independent Youkai mage who happened to take a interest in two local strong humans.

>>885130
Her parents are dead.

I shat blocks of code.

On the other hand, now you guys have a bitch who's actual power is manipulation of jealousy because she got really jealous of people coming and going.

SO RONERY.

>>885154
COBOL?
HAHA, sure that shit is FAIL.

>>885161
At least it isn't a toy language with no real functionality like Scheme

>>885161

Everything sucks compared to LISP

>>885143

Yeah, and we don't see her bawing about that either like Batman. She's doing her own thing with her own reasons. Fuck her parents.

I like to think of Alice as someone who pretends they don't care about company but deep down needs it as much as anyone else.

>>885169
No, just fuck it all.

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me...
Happy birthday... dear Alice...
Happy birthday to...

Where is everyone? I'm sure they all know today is my special day. I sent everyone in Gensokyo an invitation informing them of my party. I even took the extra step and made personalized invitations for everyone; it took a very long time to do them all, but I was satisfied in letting everyone know I care about them and are special to me.

I also did a lot to prepare for this party. I even made a huge, seven-layered cake for everyone. Just as I was finished icing it, I was moving it to the center of the center, I tripped; the cake fell out of my hands and got completely ruined as it hit the floor. I was about to cry from all the hard work I put into the cake, but then I realize I could tell the story to my friends and we could laugh it off together. I cleaned up the mess, and made the little cake in a hurry.

I waited so very long for everyone to come; it's now 1:30 in the morning and technically my birthday has passed. I spent my entire birthday preparing for the party and waiting for everyone.

Happy birthday to me...

>>885182

>>just fuck it all

>>885204
... is added.

>>885237
who?

can I get the pasta of Alice playing Gensokyo's touhou with Anonymous as her favorite character?
It explained a lot of why she is pitied by anon

>>885250

No, there's another chair, now.

>>885237
I don't get it, you just reposted the exact same picture.

>>885241
... thats who!

>>885247
http://rapidshare.com/files/124790204/alice_anon.txt.html

Cartoons are cartoons. In a game, or in an anime. Fiction isn't real. GO RAPE YOURSELF!!!

>>885250

i hate her

>>885263

Can you post it here? I want to read and I can't rapidshit from work...

>>885276
fine but only because you asked

It was a quiet day in The Forest of Magic, just like every other day. The spring air flowed into the room through the open window, bringing with it a cool and refreshing breeze. A young girl was sitting elegantly at her desk, marveling the wondrous object that lay before her.

"I can't believe I let Nitori talk me into testing this thing out for her. It seems so complicated, I can't figure out what goes where and how to set it up. Oh heck, I can't even figure out how to turn it on!...

Oh well, at least it was nice talking to someone, even if it resulted in something troublesome like this."

The young puppeteer sat perplexed on her chair, tinkering with the modern piece of technology. Alice was anxious and determined to get the device to work, and thus she didn't stop until late into the night. The refreshing breeze turned into a stiff wind and darkness flooded the house's insides. Noticing this, Alice stood up, lit a candle, and closed the large glass windows. When she sat back down, she noticed that the device was nearly set up, and all she had left to do was turn it on.

"Alright, I believe this button should do it.", she said with anticipation. To her excitement, the machine began to buzz and run, indicating that it was beginning to start up. Less than a couple minutes later, the screen of the strange device lit up with various icons and such. Alice remembered Nitori telling her that this was the "Desktop", whatever that was.

Eager to test out the device per her promise to Nitori, Alice put her hand on the mouse and started clicking frantically, until she realized that she was just clicking into empty space. She moused over an icon that she found quite interesting: a small blue and orange sphere. Below it was text that read "FireRan Browser".

Suika: I'm sick of having to do the same thing over and over here for the past three days.

Suika: But, I know all about you. I've always been watching you. You always look so bored at the festivals. You never say much, so it's like people forget you're even there. But, it's really the thing you look forward to the most, right? You're always lonely since you usually don't get out much.

;_; poor Patchy

/thread

"I wonder what this one will do if I click on it", pondered Alice. To her utmost enjoyment, as soon as she clicked on it her screen almost immediately changed completely. "Ah, this must be the Web Browser Nitori told me about. She said that this was probably the most popular feature of her invention."

In time, Alice got used to this new device Nitori called a "Computer", and eventually all the commands and whatnot would just come naturally as if she had been doing this forever. In that time, many other people took liking to this invention, including many people from the human village.

One day, Alice came across a website with lots of texts and images. When she asked Nitori about this, she said it was a Message Board, a place where people would post messages accompanied with images about various subjects. She noticed that one subject was very popular, a game called Uohout, created by a man called NUZ. She later learned that this was what they called a curtain fire shooter, and that it was really popular in the human village. Alice decided to try these out for herself, as many people exclaimed how fun they were.

The first time she decided play, Alice was quite confused. First of all, she couldn't decide which character to chose. There were many, after all. Anon, John, Steve and Ryan were the main ones, with many side characters as well.

In the beginning, Alice wasn't very good, however as the days passed she got better and better and was eventually able to move up in the levels. However, one day Alice discovered that these shooting games weren't the only things about of this game called Ouhout. She also found out at the various doujins and fan-made comics existed, each one with great artwork and funny or dramatic story lines. Alice immersed herself in these stories, laughing at the hilarious jokes involving the stereotypes assigned to the characters, and sobbing at the stories of lost love and heartbreak.

Alice started developing a certain liking towards the character named "Anon", which was short for Anonymous. He was a lonely character who was always made fun of by everyone else. Day in and day out he was satirized and ridiculed, even though he tried his best to make friends with the others. As such, he spent almost all of his life inside his small, resolute home, practicing his Danmaku or reading manga. Although you couldn't see his face, you could tell that Anon was fairly attractive, which was a surprise considering his situation.

As time passed, Alice soon became infatuated with this heartfelt yet unbefriended character. She would fantasize being together with him, comforting him in his times of melancholy and going out together as an act of their love. She would lament over the though of being with him forever, enjoying themselves together, having kids, growing old as a couple, etcetera. She wanted to give him the love and appreciation that he desperately deserved, most of all because she knew exactly how he felt. It hurt Alice knowing how woebegone he must feel.

However, one day Alice came to an inconsolable realization. She realized that Anonymous was not real, and never would be real. She realized that both he and herself would be lonely forever, separated by 2dimensional and 3dimensional barriers. She realized that they would never be together, never share the beautiful view of the sunset, never hold hands while walking down a park trail, never have a peaceful picnic on the edge of the forest with a beautiful view of the lake.

>>885291
>Fanonlol
fixed

"This isn't fair! This just isn't fair! Why can't he be real? Why has fate been so cruel, to present me with such a perfect man, only to be rejected by this barrier of woe, this realization of dismay?"

A single tear flowed down Alice's cheek, grazing her soft yet troubled face and shortly falling to the ground.

Alice cried herself to sleep that night, her hopes and emotions dashed, her future bleak and dim. Aside from the resolute sobbing, it was a quiet day in The Forest of Magic. Just like every other day. As such, it would stay that way forever...

>>885291
As the maker of the original, I approve of this font.

>>885237
Don't vampires cast a shadow?

I was wondering, why is Marisa the strongest magician when she's not a natural magician, doesn't study as much as Patchy or Alice, and isn't as moe either?

>>885393
Because she isn't (she is moe, though).

>>885393

She powers her magic through a mini-reactor. Marisa cheats, her whole method is about finding cheap ways to copy others techniques and improve herself the fast way with flashy effects. Where Alice and Patchy power their magic through their Youkai strength, Marisa does it with her own understanding of magic, love and a convenient magical artefact.

>>885393

It's the hat. Proof is in the pudding.

>>885424
But Patchy's hat has a moon on it and Alice actually looks good with short hair.

>>885429
Marisa looks good with short hair. Look at her in PCB

>>885429

....... It's the hat.

Stop making this more complicated than it has to be, Anon.

>>885446
But, Patchy would be stronger if she wasn't so sickly, and Alice never uses her maximum power level.

/r/ more Alice copypasta outside of Dan Kim's stuff

Om nom nom

Miscarriage was the best Alice copypasta

>>884956
KAGUYA HIME!
Get out of the priority seats

>>885515

Holy shit, I haven't read this one.

DO WANT.

No Valentine copypasta?

If one more of you assholes references a copypasta without pasting it or at least linking it I will cut you so help me god

>>885648

Do it, fags.

So how many of you didn't notice Sakuya in OP's picture?

>>885652
Beside Reimu?

>>885130
This

and not
>>885204
that, please.

needs more leaky poop Alice, preferably pooping or pissing on Marisa for making her sad, SO SAD AND HEARTBROKEN AND GUH WHY CANT THIS STOP AIDHJIWRH

>>885652
The first thing I noticed was the programming language.

>>885705

>>885705
Do very want.

>>885648

>>885718
Viral marketing lol.

Where's my copypasta?

Alice frowns upon your faggotry.

>>885291
What is the sauce on this image, anyway?

>>884984
Oh my god I remember seeing this before I even liked Touhou, before I even knew what it was. And here I am today, seeing this image again for the 2nd time, and it all makes sense.

I hate Alice and I love to see her lonely, and I ship Marisa and Reimu. THIS IMAGE IS THE REASON FOR THIS. Had I not seen this a year ago, I would've maybe liked Alice. Maybe I would've shipped her with Marisa.

Fate has played an interesting hand.

/r/ that Anon "dying" in real life but was actually in Gensokyo with Alice all along pasta

>>886364
Why does it make you hate alice
It should at least make you feel pity

>>886417
B-Because! Just because, ok? Stupid...

>>886453
so tsundere~

I like Alice just fine.

I think it's intereting to watch the "tidal forces" of popular toehoes on this board.... always changing, never constant

>>886453
Ooooh...I get it.

You're Tsundere for Alice.

ALICE MEGATRON

>>886511
Wriggle is kinky? I knew there was a penis on there somewhere.

>>886511
I don't get this chart.

>>886509
S-shut up you idiot! It's not like I think she's c-cute or anything. Geeze!

>>886511

How does Ran get a D? She's got warm, fluffy tails.

>>886553
...

>>886586
...

>>886575
Alice hates furries.

>>886611
Yes because Remilia is useless, not even good for sex appeal.

>>886511
Remilia gets nothing?

>>886597
...

>>886616
...

>>886546
>>886575
I think it's rating their performance in bed or rating their personality. Wriggle is listed as kinky, and Marisa is given extra love, so it's probably sex performance.

>>886620

>>886620

>>886511

alice is my favourite

Alice is my favourite

/jp/ - correctly named reaction images.

>>887237

>>887240