/jp/ - Otaku Culture

quality.

My apartment had a pest controller come spray a fortnight ago.

Every morning I come out, there are roaches dying everywhere. Four or five of them.

Sometimes they aren't quite out yet. I watch them for a minute before sweeping them into the dustbin to die among the trash.

Wow...wow

Best thread on /jp/

What a disgusting filthy human being you are. I got spiders. They keep themselves out of sight and take care of other bugs. And spiders cannot be kept out. If those turn into cute girls it is win, win situation.

my exactly face to OP-s story

You are a disgusting fucking person and I hope each of those roaches turns into a beautiful 2D girl each with their own unique, and likeable qualities for your harem.

Good luck on your monster girl quest OP!

oh mi god lmao so randum xD

Can I talk about bugs here? This morning I took a dump and when I stood up and turned around I noticed there were worms in squirming around inside the toilet. I'm not sure if they were already there when I at down (my bathroom is very dirty) or if they crawled out of my log. In case it's the latter, how do I get rid of this infection? I don't wanna go to the doctor, it's embarrassing.

>>8753535
go to the fucking doctor you stupid cunt

>>8753535
You could probably get over the counter stuff to get rid of intestinal parasites.

You know realize their brains aren't complicated enough to have anything even remotely resembling a personality.

If they really did turn into girls, they'd be barely functioning automatons who merely react to immediate present stimuli.

>>8753542
And tell him "hey doctor, there are worms coming out of my ass"? What if he wants to take a look at my asshole? Yeah no thanks... I just need to know the name of the drug used to get rid of these things. I called my grandma and she says I have to eat lots of onion, not sure if she's legit

Are you the person from yesterday that wrote elaborate posts how you wanted to teach a a clumsy bug girl to suck your dick and fertilize her eggs?

>>8753546

...

And this is a bad thing, how?

really?

>>8753550
Biology Anon is a different guy than OP but this is certainly the type of thread he would post about variant subspecies of roach monster girls.

Living the dream.

Goddamn, why don't I come to this board more often!?!

>>8753567
Go kill yourself you fucking piece of trash.

>>8753559
I think he posted yesterday in wasp king thread. It was a two post long fantasy and it was very detailed.

I forced my cat to eat my semen every day for couple of months in hope she turns into a girl. She never did.

>>8753549
I was forced to go for medical check-up of this kind.

You know those stories from rape victims where they tell that they felt like world was turning around them and they just laid there taking it and their bodies seeming like dolls?

Doctor said. "It won't feel as uncomfortable if you don't resist."

I felt that.

If I'm not careful my bathtub drain might get pregnant

>>8753505
>>8753578

>>8753573
Possibly the best reply I have ever received. Completely random and unwarranted, I guffawed.

Definitely visiting this board more often.

Roachgirl thread?

Roachgirl thread.

We can't stop here.

This is roachgirl country.

>>8753524

i dont have roaches in my apartment because i dont live in a third world shithole

>>8753681
Roaches are a firstworld pest, though.

We're not talking about rats or tarantulas hiding under the sink.

>>8753524

>>8753702
Or enjoy her hand knitted silk undies...

>>8753697
But Tarantulas would take care of the rats.

I used to be stupidly afraid of spiders. And we get TONS.
As I grew up I toughened up and just decided to cold murder them on sight.
Then I grew up more and felt compassion for other living creatures.
Those three feelings are in constant confliction.

Just the other day I saw a spider on the top of my wall as I was going to bed. My first reaction was OH GOD A SPIDER, then "I'm gonna kill it!", then "I don't want to kill it. It's just living its life and trying to get out of the rain.."
So I let it stay in my room and it just sort of wandered around the top of my walls and occasionally ate some flying insects that wandered in. Once the rainy days ended it went on its way and I haven't seen it since.

I'd love to have a spiderbro or Spider waifu living with me. ;_;

>>8753524
I hate having spiders in my room because they make webs, and you have to clean them up.

>>8753938
This is why hunter spiders make the best spider roommates.

Everytime I show compassion to bugs or insects they always screw me over. Don't kill that spider? The next morning I wake up with a brown recluse bite. Has happened 3 times in my life. Don't kill that ant? Now my entire house is infested. Ignore that bee or wasp or anything with a stinger? It goes out of its way to land on my arm and sting me.

So fuck those lesser lifeforms, I'll crush them all beneath the power of my foot.

Extremely Related
http://www.nwanime.com/hareguu-deluxe-episode-3/watch/239dd56ac310886e8495/

>>8753944
That's because you are so fucking worthless, even the insects hate you

I'll trade you some goats milk for one of your roach princesses

you could always tape cute anime girl faces to their backs, OP.

Fuck that!

He deserves a medal for this thread

>>8754016
It's in my kopipe file now.

>>8753942
Those are pretty fascinating. I decided to observe one out of boredom and learned that they would stay for days around same place. Probably not to waste energy on unnecessary movement. Then when there were food available they would be gone and could be found on feasting on it. Then the spiders would find new spot and be there for days.

>>8754000
would you /a/?

>>8754050
Wrong board m8

>>8754057
Whats the difference

>>8754060
The shitposters here entertain me. The shitposters there are /v/.

>>8753938
You don't HAVE to clean them up.
There's webs everywhere here.

I'd mention Joe's Apartment but you've probably never heard of it....

I remember a wasp followed me inside once after I had taken out the trash. As I sat down to play little girl games it landed on my hand and started walking around. It was the worst possible feeling I could ever imagine. In a panic, I immediately shook it off. As it flew up and began to make it's escape I unplugged my arcade stick and threw it as hard as I could. It smashed him against the wall with a really satisfying crack. In hindsight, that was probably the most friendly wasp to ever live considering he didn't try to attack me at any point, but there's no way I'd ever trust a dirty wasp, not after feeling those disgusting legs move across my hand.

Fuck you OP, my swarm of spidergirls and boys will come over and lick and suck your stupid roaches dry to the last drop

>>8754125
Urinal cakes?

>>8753505
>I will have a harem of roaches, living inside my kingdom. Alone. In my eternal kingdom.

OP, are you Agitha?

>>8753505
I wish I was as liberated from fear as you.

Don't they get cocky and crawl on you while you sleep?

>>8754186
This couch we used to have seemed to have roaches living in it or something.
I remember taking a nap on it one day(before we knew, of course.) and I woke up with a roach crawling on my chesting staring at me.
Freaked the fuck out and we ended up burning the couch when found out.

>>8754000
Ok I laughed hard on that one.

I've killed too many roaches so if they become cute girls I bet they'll all come to kill me, which may not be a bad thing actually since i'll get to fight overrated lolis, not a bad end.

I'll either lose and be killed or win and have my way with all of them.

This sounds nice indeed, especially since cockroach courtship and mating is unexpectedly cute - the female usually licks the tergal secretions of the male prior to mating, so I guess a cockroach girl would first try to look for the tergal glands on your back and would be very confused about their absence before you correct her and show her how humans reproduce. Cockroaches also provide their young with secretions containing symbiotic bacteria, so I suppose she'd also try to feed you her saliva so that you also learn to subsist on things like glue and book bindings like she can. You should be careful, though - female cockroaches can determine whether their prospective husband had sex with other women (and some are almost as picky as /jp/ when it comes to non-virgins) so yandere tendencies are not unexpected if you try to maintain a roach harem.

If you really want to be surrounded by cute girls, the Japanese subterranean termite Reticulitermes speratus has an highly desirable mating system for /jp/, revolving around a loli harem. In those termites, the queen does not directly mate with the king, except in the initial stages of nest construction - she instead produces a harem of neotenic daughters by parthenogenesis to serve her husband's needs, so if you married a termite girl, she'd become a devoted, loving wife who'd understand your fetish for little girls and produce a harem of cute loli daughters for you to impregnate. As a termite queen, she herself would have large breasts and a mature figure, so I suppose she'd think herself unworthy of receiving your love and try to distance herself after teaching her daughters how to properly service you, but of course, as a proper, responsible husband, you'd kiss her, hug her gently and tell her that you don't care if she doesn't have the flat chest and youthful innocence of her daughters, she's your wife and you'll love her no matter what.

>>8754665
This thread just got awesome.

>>8754665
You'd then live as a happy couple, surrounded by your cute wife and harem of non-blood related daughters in your sheltered underground nest - I guess trying to keep up with your dozens of lovers would be difficult though, unless you end up as a Kenkou Cross-style incubus.

For those more interested in yuri, the same species is also known to form long-lasting bonds between two females, who construct a single nest and live together (I find it particularly adorable that one of the pair leads the other to a suitable nesting site, like a reliable onee-sama gently leading a younger girl by hand.) Curiously, nests founded by two queens are incapable of producing males.

>>8754665
The cockroach part of that post is INCREDIBLY cute
I want a cockroach waifu now.

>>8754811
There are plenty of pet stores that breed certain types of roaches as pets. I don't suggest trying to have sexual relations with a roach though.
Would a cockroach eat cum if you jizzed in its container?

My Entomology professor seemed like he might go to /jp/

I wonder...

>>8754665
Dude, you should post more often. And use a name when you make posts like these, for archiving purpose. It's impossible to find all your older posts.

Is it possible to befriend an insect?

And now you make me feel bad about killing roaches. I hope your roaches turn into little girls.

Op you are a disgusting piece of shit

I feel a holy anger rise up every time I think of bugs in my house. Whenever I see any bug thoughtlessly desecrating my domain with their filthy legs a soundless command from God envelops me and I take every measure to eradicate them. Some would be content to stop chasing a bug after it hides in a dark corner they can't reach, but I'm not so weak. My wrath washes over every corner of my house and I chase away any shadow or semblance of darkness that would dare provide refuge for those impure germ-covered crawling abominations. Sometimes I simply crush them before they get away, but few are that lucky. I use a letter opener to lance any roach I see in my room but I'm not so merciful that I'd let it end there. using an extended lighter I roast the roach and consecrate the ever living hell out of it. Afterwards I toss it outside for the ants to devour with great gnashing of teeth. If any bug shows up in my bathroom it suffers a watery death in my sink as I slowly drown and drain it for 20 minutes before picking it up and flushing it down the toilet. The most satisfying method of purification though is lysol sprayed against any roach or spider I see that is not within reach of my letter opener or toilet paper. An ecstatic pleasure overtakes me as I exterminate the dirty germ-infested punk with my hose of clean righteousness.

>>8755483

I hope not i accidentally kill some strange bug last night and if they can become friends i just killed a potential buddy.

>>8755529
>The most satisfying method of purification though is lysol

Cleaning agents are ridiculously effective against bugs. Bugs spays should be made of window cleaner or something.

I don't have roaches, but if I did, I'd want a meido roach.

roach rape

>>8755611
Do roaches have a penis?

Ainsley

>>8754260
>roach crawling on my chesting staring at me

You know what it was saying? "I know we've had our differences, but I want to thank you for letting us stay in this couch. It's very comfortable and we love it here. I know it isn't much but please accept our sincere thanks."

Then you went ahead and burned the couch, you motherfucker. I hate you.

>>8755529
First, I'll just observe her, crawling around the whole place, trying to get whatever she can out of my house.
Sould I just ignore her?
Should I just drive her out of the house?
Should I just use an appropriate tool to dispose of her? There's so many of them : spray, poison, traps...

... but no, I don't want any of that.
Such methods wouldn't be... funny... right?
Such methods wouldn't ... satisfy me... right?

Look at her. Just look at her.
Why is she crawling more and more towards me?
What does she want?
Why is she doing this?
Don't you see that you shouldn't come near me..?

No.. no.. don't come.. please, don't come !
It's coming... it's coming back... that feeling is coming back...
I can't stop it... I can't restrain it...

It's... it's... ...........................
What... is this..? Her antennas.. are they... pointing at me?

Why did you stop there? What are you watching? What are you smiling at? Why are you giving me those eyes? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

...Wait... What is... this? My hands are... filled with something. Something green and sticky... Where did it come from? It stinks.
... Huh..? What is that stain on the floor?
... No, wait, there are several stains on the floor, as well as maroon looking blocks everywhere.

What is that? It seems like a ...puzzle?
All the pieces are scattered everywhere. It's funny.
Should I try to assemble them all?

when I was a kid I used to help my father get rid of tomato worms in our garden. I would go out with a box of matches and a magnifying glass. whenever I found a worm I would impale it with a match and then use the magnifying glass to ignite the match head.

I remember reading that people who tortured bugs and played with fire as children are more likely to become serial killers, but I haven't murdered anyone yet.

>>8755733
>yet.
Just be patient and you'll eventually murder someone, don't worry about it anon.

>>8755684
Reminds me of the cockroaches city chapter of Franken Fran.

>>8755733
It's a sign of psychopathy.

Psychopath / sociopath =/= serial killer.