/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I need new kopipe...

/c/ really is the only 4chan anime board liek that, isn't it?

>anime board
First off, this wasn't the anime board to begin with. You're looking for /a/. I reckon they're exactly what you're looking for.

Sup trapfags. See this? It's something you can never have. That's right, none of your traps will ever be delicious milfs, because they're all one-dimensional, effeminate flirts without any real personality.

How does that make you feel?

Liking Okuu isn't that different from liking Cirno or Flandre. They all have gimmicky powers, and cliché and shallow personalities. The only real difference is that Subterranean Animism came out in 2008 while Embodiment of Scarlet Devil came out in 2002, making the former less of a target for new and inexperienced fans.

And this is while characters from Undefined Fantastic Object and Ten Desires are hated or shunned, simply because they're "too hard to understand". While in reality it's just that their powers are original and their backstories elaborate. The casts of the two later games are more popular in Japan than here, perhaps because a native japanese person has an advantage when it comes to knowing of and understanding the original historical events the characters are tied to. To like Okuu all you need to understand is that she's "a badass idiot who controls nuclear fusion".

While I like the setting and general story-line of Subterranean Animism, I'd like to point out, that not only including and post Mountain of Faith but perhaps in all of Windows era Touhou, Okuu is the least developed, least interesting and least intimidating villain. Not to mention her motive is the least elaborate and engaging of all.

This is nice one

Anyways, >>8511297, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>8511297, should just stick with today's special.

>>8511301
I'm going to find out where you live and kill you and your family. You are going to be chased by a 7 foot tall psychopath caked in his victims' guts and blood, coming at you, naked, with a huge fire axe and a MASSIVE 3 foot long hard on while you try to escape with 50lb weights on your legs. I will pull out your intestines and use them to hang your heads from the ceiling of my shed like Christmas ornaments, cook your internal organs in the microwave and watch them rise like yeast, pull out your eyes and crack them into a mixing bowl in place of eggs for my jello cake, then masturbate over the remains. The entire time I will be listening to Bach's Minuet in G major. When I'm finished with you I'll be on my way to OP's house.

Cheers!

Dohohoho found new one!

>>8511306

you wanna fucking fight kid well guess what I just hacked your IP address. yea thats right you can't do shit you fucking pussy... if you try to start ANY MORE shit with me, I'll hack the shit out of your computer so be warned you terrorist piece of shit. and if you try to come to my house just be warned that I know Kung Fu and have a GUN so if you wanna start some shit I'll fuckin be ready to kick the shit out of you. You've been warned, motherfucker. don't FUCK WITH ME again.

Real funny faggot ass bitch. You think this is a joke? You think giving me lip is a good idea? I'll fucking murder you.

Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.

>>8511308
Yawn, old stuff

>>8511287
But aren't they girls who wish to have balls?

Well. I am sorry sir but there might not be one. I remember that there was GAR board somewhere but that is it. I think it has some gay to it too now that i think of it again.

>>8511315
SUCK MY HUGE FAT CHODE YOU LITTLE DILL MUFFIN YOU COULDNT GET LAID IF YOU PAID YOUR MOM FOR IT YOU REALLY LIFE TO FUCK WITH PEOPLE DONT YOU> CAUSE U KNOW WHEN I LVL IM GONNA RALLY UR ASS JULST LIKE I DID TO YOUR MOM AND ITS NOT GONNA HURT CAUSe ur LOOSE!!!

>>8511327
Hmm... Not funny, trying too hard. 1/10

>walk into kitchen
>ask mom if it's already morning
>"What?"
>spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets
>oh god not again
>face gets red
>"Please tell me if it is morning already or not"
>"What are you talking about? Are you alright?"
>struggling to contain my embarrassment
>clenching asscheeks together to hold in my shit
>meanwhile spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets
>voice reduced to a mumble
>"morning already please ohayou touhou jp"
>"Are you ok?"
>shit breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60mph
>crash through the table
>mom's holding on to me for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the neighborhood, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling "MORNING PLEASE ALREADY TOUHOU PLEASE OHAYOU GOMENASAI JP"
>Mother is covered in shit and spaghetti
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>she tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my shit has reached 650mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and shit intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as we head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>spaghetti and shit blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>Mother has died from lack of oxygen, her body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my shit
>my transformation is almost complete
>as I leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>steer myself across the cosmos with my gleaming shit and spaghetti trail

She's so fucking cute and sweet. I'd treat her to some fancy restaurant, then take a long romantic walk with her, holding hands and talking about philosophy, art and dreams. Then I'd invite her to my home and ravage her hot ass for hours, and forcing my cock down her throat so she choked on both the throbbing cock and her own rectal juice. I'd then proceed to cum on her cute innocent face. Then, as the ultimate love gift, I'd carry her in my arms to the tub and let my piss wash away the semen and last dignity from her. I'd whisper "I love you" and give her a tender smile, and cut her throat from ear to ear with a knife. Covered in her own warm blood, she'd look straight into my very soul, forgiving, understanding. A bubble from blood and saliva would burst between her lips, then she'd die. After some additional lovemaking, I'd stuff her in a bin bag. Three Weeks later, some playing children will find her mutilated and desecrated body in the forest. They will be scarred for life.

>>8511357
it's HELL without windows huh? can't tell if it's morning or not, i know that feel fellow basement dweller

>scheduled for my first ever "gloryhole meetup" at McDonalds
>extremely nervous
>arrive a little early
>don't want to look suspicious, so I buy a cheeseburger
>I'm cheap as a Jew so I grab a lot of ketchup packets and put them in my pocket
>head to the bathroom when it's time
>walk into the third stall, as we agreed on
>lock
>sit on toilet
>stare nervously at hole in side
>whistle Sanae's theme from Touhou - that's the signal to let him know I'm the one he's waiting for
>a large, slimy penis emerges from the hole
>heart starts beating like crazy
>it smells horrible, and probably tastes even worse
>do I really want to go through with this?
>put my tongue on it
>almost gag, it tastes HORRIBLE
>he's getting impatient, moving his cock in and out
>I don't know if I can do this
>suddenly come up with an idea to mask the taste
>grab ketchup packet
>pour onto penis
>hear a whisper, "what are you doing?"
>he pulls his cock back
>suddenly he starts screaming while pounding on the stall "AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH"
>"IT'S BLEEDING IT'S BLEEDING IT'S BLEEDING"
>he runs out screaming
>hear more screams from customers and staff in the main area
>walk out trying to maintain composure
>grab some ranch dipping containers before I leave

>have to pee
>go to bathroom
>three urinals
>two on the ends are occupied, one in middle is empty
>walk into stall instead
>close door
>unzip pants
>notice hole on stall wall
>look closer
>there's a tongue hanging out
>this must be one of those glory holes I've heard so much about on /jp/
>no idea what to do
>put my penis through the hole
>start peeing
>hear a loud scream, "WHAT THE FUCK"
>he starts smashing down the stall wall
>run out with my pants down
>exit building with my penis flopping and peeing everywhere
>heavyset man chasing me slips on my urine and falls down

and that's why I wear diapers

>walk into Gamestop
>ask for a copy of Atelier Totori
>"What?"
>spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets
>oh fuck not again
>face gets red
>"Please give me a copy of Atelier Totori right now."
>"I don't know what that is. What platform is it on?"
>struggling to contain my embarrassment
>clenching asscheeks together to hold in my shit
>voice reduced to a mumble
>"have money please alterlier torti give money please game"
>"Are you okay?"
>shit breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60mph
>crash through the Gamestop employee's counter
>he's holding onto me for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling "ATELIER TOTORI PLEASE MONEY ATELIER GAMESTOP TOTORI"
>Gamestop employee is covered in shit and spaghetti
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my shit has reached 650mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and shit intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as we head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>spaghetti and shit blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>Gamestop employee has died from lack of oxygen, his body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my shit
>my transformation is almost complete
>as I leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>steer myself across the comsos with my gleaming shit and spaghetti trail

>>8511282
Sounds like a pretty boring message board you're looking for, anon.

Culinary Sign - DELICIOUS FUCKING EGGS.
I am the bone of my skillet.
Yolk is my body, butter is my blood
I have cooked over a thousand eggs.
Unknown to fat,
nor known to grease
Having withstood pain to make many breakfasts
Yet those hands will never cook anything
So as I pray, UNLIMITED EGG WORKS!
I am the seasoning of my egg
Shell is my body, and yolk is my blood
I have fried over a thousand dozen eggs
Unaware of MSG
Nor aware of cholesterol
Withstood pain to cook many breakfasts
Waiting for one's timer
I have no recipes, this is the only dish
My whole life was Unlimited Egg Works

>>8511390

Priceless

LOL I JUST LITERALLY

PEED
MY
PANTS

JUST A LITTE THOUGH

I MEAN ITS A LITTLE SPOT NOT LIKE IT RUINED MY CHAIR R NYTHING LOL BUT FOR REAL EPIC LULZ *HIGH FIVES* XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

>straight anime board
What are you, some kind of faggot?