/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Here is the attention you are so discretely asking for.

Suck his cock, dude
..Guy's love blowjobs.

This isn't Gaia.

Wow holy shit, macarons? I love it so much

>>8498494
I knew about /jp/'s reputation but I was hoping for at least one friendly person. :/

Help, anyone?

>>8498494
Hmmmhmmhmm~

>>8498500
I can't help you, sorry. Pierre Herme... I wish I can taste it... So fucking expensive...

>>8498488

>>8498500
You have already been told to suck his cock, dude
If you need help you can practise on mine first.

If I had a boyfriend, I would give him a sweater.

>>8498488
He's a 7Jp/ browser, but you only talked about anime and manga, witch goes to /a/n (and, if he likes the legend of the galactic heroes, then he is a great man).

If he hides his power level, then you need to think about something that he could enjoy but no one else would be able to see. I guess an nahole or a tenga would be quite weird coming from you... I dunno, I'm at a loss, sorry. Maybe figurines, dakimakuras, etc... but dunno

>>8498503
Uhh... Goddammit...
http://www.pierreherme.com/products/macarons.html

>>8498509
Oh, and a Cirno-cake surely will please him... and maybe a cirno-fridge full of chocolate frogs...

>>8498511
Hoo~ Flandre

Give him a homemade porn video with you fucking all his friends or a black guy.

All /jp/ browsers love slutty girls or NTR.

>>8498515
The cirno-cake so you can know how it looks like

>>8498509
Well, is there anything that you guys would like to get ideally? He doesn't collect figs or any of that stuff. Like I said, he is pretty stealth about his interests...

And I would have gone to /a/ but he seems to spend most of his 4chan time on this board, so I figured you guys were my best shot. :/

Anyway, here is another picture of macarons for you.

>>8498525
Something I would like...
Well, this is a crazy idea, but it may work...
Do you have good drawing skills? If you do, you could turn yourself and your boyfriend into 2D in a poster-like thing (normalfags sometimes have drawings of themselves so it wouldn't be weird).

>>8498488
2 words: Maid Costume.

>>8498525
>>He doesn't collect figs or any of that stuff.
But if he hides his powerlevel then how do you know if he doesn't have figs?

>>8498540
This guy is right, the maid costume is a great idea. Trust him.

Personally, I would want some hanafuda cards, but I don't know if your boyfriend is into that kind of things...

>>8498525
>Well, is there anything that you guys would like to get ideally?

You can never have too much ammo! And maybe one of those neat Russian folding cups. Get him these and you can't go wrong. Just be sure to know what caliber he uses.

>>8498535
Oh, that's a cute idea. Thank you. :3

>>8498540
>how do you know if he doesn't have figs?
...I guess I don't.

Unless you can grow a penis I think you're out of luck. But really, if he is from here just tell him something nice and he should be happy.

I feel like I've read the OP before too.

>Valentine's Days
Homemade Chocolate.

>>8498547
Why do you keep posting those disgusting things?

Unknown cream and cancer causing dyes. I think I'll pass when there are clearly superior options when it comes to cookies.

>>8498554
If you don't like macaroons you need to fucking get out.

>>8498558
Make the macaroons yourself. They are easy. I made a cute macaroon tower once (light blue and green with pistachio buttercream), I might do it again for valentines day for my waifu.

I know this is a troll thread, but I just like posting angry Reuental caps

>>8498554
see >>8498561

>>8498561
This are the only macaroni I know.

Goddamn it, now I want cookies.

>>8498568
I was going to make truffles and macarons as a part of the gift too... I just wanted to get him something extra special because he always gets me the perfect presents.

And here is a St. Honore because I guess some /jp/ anons don't like macarons.

@sonico_macaron

I don't believe you have a boyfriend from /jp/ and just want to make a funny topic for a thread.

>The Galactic Heroes or something? It looked incredibly dull.

This gave you away, since calling LotGH dull and boring is what everyone who browses /a/ or /jp/ says to criticize it. If you're going to get a present for someone on /jp/, it depends from person to person. Not everyone here is the same. We have a crowd for figures and dolls, those who play shmups all day or their equally obsessed fighting game brothers, the touhou guys who get everything touhou, and some hermits that don't own material goods other than a computer.

If you really even HAD a /jp/ friend, you'd know what they would be interested in other than one board on this site. Try to get to know this person better before you claim they're your boyfriend or try to buy them something.

>>8498568
Whom are you replying to, comrade?

I'd not risk my life on your crayon colored mystery meat.

>>8498577
oops.

>>8498579
It's really not a troll. :/ I do know his other interests, it's just that he's really hard to shop for and I don't want this to be another predictable set of presents.

And I know you guys aren't all the same, but I thought it would be a good place to get ideas. Drawing a little booklet/poster or something of the two of us was a good idea, and I think he'd enjoy something like the hanafuda cards... So, so far this thread has given me good ideas. :/

>>8498488
Give him a blowjob, suck his balls, try to deepthroat and swallow his cum. And while you do it, look in his eyes. Perfect gift for Valentine's Day.

>>8498590

She probably does this every day already, rimjobs too.

>>8498550
This, this and this.

>>8498577
Would you post some pics so your story feels more beliveable?

>>8498590
Too fucking lewd. The perfect gift for a /jp/sie is to hold hands while walking in a park in the sunset. Preferably wear a nice scarf.

Poison your boyfriend, dude. Then spend the rest of the day nursing him back to health. Apologize for not being able to do something fun together and take all the blame, he'll think you're a saint.

>>8498599
Hold hands is A+ #1.

>>8498590
If that's all someone wanted hey could get a prostitute.

>>8498579
>>8498569
I don't get it. I though people on /jp/ had some degree of intelligence. Do you really believe this is a troll thread? Ok, let's suppose it is:
>Hurr durr, joke's on you, I don't have a boyfriend.
>mfw

So, either you are retarded, or OP is retarded for making such an stupid troll-wanna-be thread

if you're a girl you don't belong on /jp/
if you have a boyfriend you don't belong on /jp/
if you don't realize that you're supposed to make him breakfast naked apron style you don't belong on /jp/

This thread sucks, OP didn't even make a minimal attempt at this.

This should instead become a post your favorite bakery thread until it's deleted.

>>8498609
I guess my description of the LotGH(??) was kinda troll-ish, but I couldn't remember the name and didn't know how else to describe it. I tried to watch it alone once so I could maybe start getting into his hobbies, but it was too boring to keep watching. Sorry if I'm offending anyone.

If I really wanted to troll, I'd tell you who my boyfriend is. :/ But I'm not here to bother you guys, I just wanted some help.

>>8498626
I used to have a local bakery that had great maple donuts but it closed years ago

>>8498609
It's too late to try and save face now. The OP already trolled more than half of /jp/ while posting expired cookies.

>if you don't realize that you're supposed to make him breakfast naked apron style you don't belong on /jp/

This should permanently be added under the board title.

I wish I could bake...

>>8498626
I agree, they don't have to be limited to sweet things though do they?

OP should have her answer. Honestly, if you aren't a troll, macaroons and truffles and being nice, holding hands and being gentle would be more than enough for someone from here.

>>8498635
It's never to late to start!

If you put the effort in to back something pretty and cute for your waifu, think of all that energy that will be released into the heavenly realms. The more mana she receives from your sacrifices the more your mind becomes a vessel for her so you can become close.

>>8498635
It isn't terribly hard, it just takes following instructions and being patient. I used to be terrible at cooking but then I realized that cooking good food isn't really hard and I now cook most of my meals from scratch.

>>8498625
>if you don't realize that you're supposed to make him breakfast naked apron style you don't belong on /jp/

Just for the record, never ever ever ever cook anything greasy (bacon is a common one) while not wearing something that covers the area between your waist and your knees. A long apron is sexier than grease burns and a short apron every day of the week. less painful, too.

Act like a wife. Make him breakfast, go on a picnic for a quick lunch and make something for dinner. Be extra attached and submissive on valentines. As it's three years I'll assume your relationship has reached a point where you are ready for sexual relations (although I don't recommend it outside of marriage of course). If it does occur, the pleasure of cumming inside goes both ways. Multiplier bonus if you beg to be impregnated.

>>8498645
>beg to be impregnated

A nice idea, however, asking him not to cum inside then when he goes to pull out, she should wrap her legs around him and force him back in and say she wants him to cum inside while looking away and blushing.

>>8498637
Not at all, just bread like.

I've always wanted to make my own bagels but I always forget to pick up a pot when I'm out.

>>8498645
>Multiplier bonus if you beg to be impregnated.

Visual aid if needed, although missionary position would be optimal.

>>8498649
I make my own bagels and pretzels. Living here in Aus it is hard to find really legit quality breads like this, so teaching myself was a good experience. My mum bought a machine thing that makes all of this very easy.

>>8498642
>>8498643
I just think about fucking up and burning everything, that'd be a waste. I sometimes cook, but baking seems more difficult.
Maybe I'll start with easy stuff and dress it up with colored marzipan.

A funny thought about this is she'll probably break up with him after seeing the type of people he spends time with on the internet.

Oops.

>>8498659
We're all nice people, I don't see why anyone would leave a /jp/er.

>>8498645
I'm pretty sure wives don't do any of that these days. in fact I think modern girls are instructed to do the exact opposite.

>>8498653
my pOnOs is too short to reach a girl's uterus ;_;

Well this is a refreshing thread.

Though I'd figure if he was a fan of /a/ and stuff, as well as /jp/, it should be pretty easy to decide on a gift. Seeing as you seem to at least have an idea of this stuff

>>8498657

start off with the pre-made dough stuff.

Things that only take 3 steps to cook:
1. preheat oven
2. put dough on pan
3. put pan in oven for 15-20 mins

And work your way up from there.

Does anybody know where one could purchase quality macarons in Amerifats? None of those cutesy French boutiques ship over here.

>>8498663
Frankfurt school Marxism and their multi-pronged attack on western culture.

You know who's to blame for this right?

>>8498657
Everyone makes mistakes, don't sweat it. You probably will fuck up a first but you need to make mistakes to learn, BUT, baking seems far more intimidating than it is.

Maybe we should start a bakery for /jp/ NEETs to reintegrate into society and build confidence. But the catch is they have to work there forever.

>>8498656
I've been baking bread using the sourdough starter method from Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day for a few years now, and it's a really nice way to be able to have fresh bread daily. Bread machines are nice too, even though /ck/ seems to hate them.

>>8498659
I come here every now and then to lurk and then get scared off. The last time I was here, you guys had some sort of a doorknob licking thread going on. :|

>>8498657
Baking is loads easier than cooking. Just gotta be more patient.

I'm at a pretty passable level of being able to make cakes and cookies and all derivatives and such, but can't seem to make frostings to save my life.

Anyone got tips or recipes that worked out well for them? Buttercream need not apply, even I can do that.

>>8498668
Make them yourself lazy.

>>8498633
>>8498633
>>8498633
>>8498633
>>8498633
>>8498633
>>8498633
>>8498633

This

>>8498668
There are great bakeries everywhere if you live in a decent sized city. Shop around and find stuff.

>>8498662
OK, just pretend you are a normal female, and your boyfriend asked you as a favor to beg to be impregnated for a Valentines gift.

If I was with someone from /jp/ I would beg for that naturally, and imagine he was impregnating my boycunt, but alas.

>>8498668
Ummm, on Valentines I could make some and send them to you~

>>8498668
If you live in NYC, there is a Laduree in the UES. If you're elsewhere in Amerifat... you should just learn to bake them yourself. Prepare to be frustrated the first several batches though.

>>8498675
David Lebovitz has some great recipes on his site if you're not already familiar with them.

>>8498685
>OK, just pretend you are a normal female, and your boyfriend asked you as a favor to beg to be impregnated for a Valentines gift.

Somehow I just got a massive boner from you reading my idea back to me. I'd do it of course.

>>8498670

There's a bakery like that im New York.

If I could get a sponge cake to come out looking like this I might very well die from smugness. If you don't cheat and use that artificial shit, you'll know no greater exercise in frustration.

>>8498685

This bakery thread just wouldn't be /jp/ related without talk of impregnating boycunts,

Well you see, generally when it is your boyfriend's birthday you get him a present, and also have the sex with him. Otherwise what's the point of dating if you don't get required sex on your birthday?

Silly /jp/.

>>8498673
Setting up a glory hole is a wonderful idea too! Why did you even come here, silly? You had the aswer all along.

>>8498630
All right. I'll take the bait. Who is your boyfriend?

>>8498709
I bet it is Eksopl.

I want to eat one of these things so bad that I don't even mind the strange things they're made of.

>>8498709
>>8498713
I guess it's just Tokiko again, pretending to have a girlfriend.

>>8498716
What are they made of?

When I was in a cult I ate Cakes of Light. Little cakes containing menstrual blood and semen and charges with the phallic solar powers. Verily, I wish I was joking.

>>8498716
I've tried some with durian filling, they weren't vietnamese though. They tasted delicious.

>>8498723
What?

And... any more (non-sexual) suggestions?

Attempting to make some of these is on my to do list.

>>8498727
I'm very jealous all the same. Where did you get it, or did you make it yourself?

>>8498723
I'm pulling these from wikipedia, so a quick right click would explain anything you want to know. Assuming you're using firefox, which you should be. The chinese ones with the egg in them are the only ones I'd hesitate before trying.

>>8498703
You need to whisk eggs and sugar until it's really light and fluffy, then you can proceed whisking in the other ingredients, flour first though, so you'll have a smooth batter in the end.
And fucking pay attention as well, then you'll be ashamed of how EASY it is to make sponge cakes.

>>8498735
Why couldn't it be sexual? Just wait right there for a minute and think through this. Guys are practical. If you're a girl, you should just give him something he couldn't afford by himself. Other than that, he'll be better chosing 'nerdy material' by himself.
It's a terrible idea to ask strangers' opinions just because he hangs out with us. All the tips concerning sex around here WILL work, along with something considered normal/common wich you're certain to work. Now if you decide to give a material gift /jp/ related, there's only a chance he will enjoy it.

>>8498752
Because I already do the things /jp/ have suggested. :/

This has turned into a pretty informative baking thread though, and I am okay with this.

>>8498739
My older brother brought some when he was visiting me, they were apparently some special offer at an asia shop (is that what you call it in english?).
You'll probably need to wait until it's time for Moon Festival again.

Yeah, the ones with egg seem strange.

>>8498765
You already beg your boyfriend to get you pregnant while leglocking him in the missionary position after a nice day holding hands in the park?

This stuff is so abnormally good. If you haven't tried it, make a loaf it's super simple.

>>8498754
I guess my level is just too low still.

>>8498771
Sometimes not in the missionary position, but yes.

OP, you could always get him a physical copy of something he enjoys but does not own.

>>8498774
It also reminds me of this stuff, which is also pretty fantastic.

>>8498770
Oh, I guess I'll have to learn how to make them myself as the nearest asian is some 500 miles from here, let alone a bakery that would cater to them.

If I could afford it I'd go to China just to eat. And of course for tea that not even my importers stock.

LOGH thread? LOGH thread.

>>8498791
Oh, dammit!

I was on a roll too.

97 posts and 40 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>>8498793
>>8498793

>>8498774
Never stop trying dude!

...is dis nigga 4 real?

>>8498585
>>8498558
>Hating on Macaron
You should try it first and then shut the fuck up.

>>8498817