/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Yeah there is a way with coping with the fear.

It's called escapism

Internet, touhou, games, masturbation
whatever you want

>>8468373

I do that already, but it's getting harder and harder to dwell deeper into that world with the constant thought nagging me that it'll eventually be taken away within the next few years or so.

I may eventually just try applying for disability or something in regards to my mental state since in the past I originally became a shut-in due to Severe bouts of Anxiety, Derealization, Depression and all that other shit to the point where I couldn't even step outdoors without feeling like I was going to pass out, die or freak the fuck out; and I feel as more time pass, that state may eventually come back if I do not summon the willpower to fight it. I've even been comitted for about three weeks because of it.

>>8468386
dude, that's like an automatic acceptance for autism bucks. that or a ticket back to the asylum. either way, you won't have to worry about taking care of yourself.

>>8468386
How are your finances?
I suggest taking up drinking or some other drug

>>8468399

My finances are pushed to their limits as I only have about 8 dollars in my checking, five dollars on my saving and six dollars in person. I used to have a job, but got laid off due to the company being downsized along with some of my mental issues coming back to haunt me at work during the last part of it; something I emailed my employer about.

Now I just spend my days filling out sweepstakes appilcations on Facebook hoping I'll randomly win something, re-sale it on ebay and try to make enough to get by for the time being. Along with trying to scratch up enough change to buy a lotto ticket. Any kind of luck to bring some type of fiance in my life while I'm looking for various odd jobs I can do in the future to fund some of my needs before going back to my lifestyle.

I also used to do various drugs like LSD, Weed, Liquor and etc when I was younger, but stopped when I tried to keep my body somewhat /fit/ by losing a shit-ton of weight in the off chance I'd ever get to see Genysoko (lost about 100 pounds; actually) and now I feel I'm better without the drugs.

>>8468397

Hopefully that is the case when I go to apply later on this year or something.

>>8468386
That sounds like me. Though is "derealization" the term for when everything just feels surreal, like an odd, slightly unnerving dream?

>>8468427

Yeah, even now I'm still fighting those feelings off. For instance, if I were sitting outside resting after going for a jog and I began to left my thoughts wonder, I would take a look at my surroundings and begin to gradually freak out how I am existing, how complex reality is, start to feel somewhat dream like and then the anxiety kicks in, amplifies these feelings and I have to do something to distract myself.

So far, I've been fighting insanity with insanity. When I do my work out's or whenever I go outside, I put myself under heavy delusions that I am some sort of anime/story character going through some serious challenges, going through great lengths to find inner will power to fight off alot of the things going through my head and putting myself through a whole ordeal of shit.

If that does not work, I simply focus on pushing my body in my work out's even going as far as to run about 8 miles in one day until the feelings numbed down; as I had reached a far enough point at home to eventually feel panicky/dazed, but kept running/putting myself through those delusions until I just dealt with it.

Along with that, talking or putting myself in awkward situations also help as I noticed I was in a bookstore one time when this began to happen when I went on the escalator and I just started trying to strike up conversations, look interesting or blar my music from my I-pod at the loudest volume to attract attention; anything to distract me from those thoughts.

>>8468427
If so I've encountered that before and it's fucking terrifying.

I'm actually in college right now. But I feel like I'm just wasting time and putting off the eventuality of not being able to find a job and a general place in the real world due to my general social incompetence and lack of direction and I'm slowly growing more and more anxious about it. How the fuck do you people manage to be NEETs?

>>8468399
Alcohol and many drugs make anxiety far, far worse. Take it from a guy who has anxiety and has gone insane for about 2 days at a time after taking speed, ecstasy or smoking weed. Seriously, just lying in the corner sweating even though it's freezing in the room, all stimulus scaring the shit out of me but too scared to close my eyes in case I start seeing things in the dark, too scared to keep them open in case I hallucinate things in the room - so I just get as close to the wall as possible and stare at it to limit how much space I'd be able to project hallucinations into.

Not being able to control my thoughts, so just thinking of random chains of words for hours on end. This sounds as stupid to me now as it does to you, but not when it's happening. Even beer can take me up a few notches to a horrible place the day after.

>>8468407
>I used to have a job

>>8468441
>I'm actually in college right now

Gee, I wonder why this thread looks like it was made by normalfags from /b/ and /soc/?

>>8468439
Yeah, that's it. But I have the problem of going completely, deeply red in any kind of social situation just because my mind thinks of it, so I can't really go outside at all because the fear of blushing puts me on edge, that edginess unsettles me and brings on the unrealization, that makes me feel embarrassed and awkward about everything which makes blushing (at least seem at the time) a lot more likely, and it's all a viscous circle.

e.g. The other day walking to the shop, I was convinced I was veering off to the right, into the road, but then I was convinced I was overcompensating by leaning steeply to the left. I got to the shop and realised there was no way I could go inside like that.

>>8468438

It seriously is. Other times where my derealization happens is when I'm in large places. For an example, if I were to eventually start moving away from the 1-2 miles radius where I normally do my runs, I will eventually start to feel foggy about the surroundings around me. If I were to look up at the building, I'd be scared to move my head because I would feel like my body is breaking down and something would happen if I were to move my head a wrong way. I use my willpower to overcome it at times, but it does reach levels of insanity.

>>8468441

You don't deal with it. You just figure out ways to shove it deeper and deeper down without bothering to think about it. Find some ways to abuse escapism, use drugs anything to distract this thought.

>>8468444

Indeed, I never liked when I used to depend on outside substances to control some of the things with my anxiety. I'm glad I eventually learned to get this point as there was a time I had little to no control over it. Now, it's still there, but at least I can somehow cope with it in some ways. It's hard to explain.

>>8468450

Go back to /r9k/ or /a/ with the "normfalfag" talk.

Otherwise, nice attempt at derailing the thread.

>>8468463
Sounds pretty moe, to be honest.

Will you be my waifu?

>>8468450
>once having had a job = normalfag
Holy shit, serial killers had jobs, some incredibly dull and boring people don't have jobs simply because they're lazy and prefer benefit fraud.

>>8468463

That must suck as I have never really had a problem with blushing; I just feel like my cheeks get incredibly hot in those situations when I feel like that. I never notice myself blushing, but my face just feels REALLY hot and like it SHOULD be blushing.

>>8468475

Indeed, and I more or less got the job so I could use all the money I did have to put into savings, buy computer related things and support my habits until I could no longer push myself as I'm currently living with my parents and I was able to use my money as I pleased.

Speaking of drugs. How does one get in contact with a gentleman that sells them?

>>8468472
Well, I guess I should've phrased my question better. I mean literally how do you do it. I've pretty much got all the escapism I can handle I hope. But are you living off of your parents or autism bucks or what?

Brevity is the soul of wit.

>>8468483
>How does one get in contact with a gentleman that sells them?
How does one not? They are everywhere.

>>8468490
Everywhere being...?

How far would I have to venture outside of my house in a white suburb?

>>8468490
I don't go outside or work. The only person I've ever met that sells drugs was some kid in High School who would jump in the back of my car and sell me overpriced dirt.

>>8468483
Usually you have to have connections which means having friends.

>>8468484

Currently living with my parents as previously stated in my other post. When they eventually die or decide they have had enough of this insanity I bring into their lives before they reach their final years, I will need to figure out a plan to sustain myself. I feel like perhaps my delusions and willpower that I'll "be okay" no matter what happens will somehow alter the chains of fate around me to make sure my path will "be okay" when that time occurs.

>>8468483

Find a holly jolly African American. My situation, however, is more easy then the typical /jp/er to find drugs because I am infact Black and makes it easier to blend in with these types of people.

>>8468501
It's kind of fucked up, but I have literally wondered if I can get by by staying here until my parents die and just inheriting their house so I don't have to worry about buying a house or paying rent.

>>8468494
Why don't you try the silk road?

>>8468494
>How far would I have to venture outside of my house in a white suburb?
Until you find some minorities. High School and College students are also a big hit. You may find it in the open... I've been casually walking around and had people offer me drugs, and this is in a relatively safe suburb.

Just make sure you don't look like a cop.

>>8468494
Just find some students. At least in England, pretty much every student (at least the ones you'll see outside rather than stuck inside all day like us) will have access to drugs.

>>8468509
You still have to pay bills and tax, though.

>>8468520
Yeah, I know, but considerably less to worry about.

>>8468501
>>8468512
>>8468518
So, I should go to local College/High School campus and find a black guy?

>>8468532
You nailed it. Outside of colleges curing night time or in shady neighborhoods is a good bet.

>>8468532
Safest way.

You could also go to a shady neighborhood and look for guys sitting in their front yards. Ask them if they're holding. Be careful.

I get derealization/dissociation frequently, but no where near where I used to (where it would carry for weeks at a time). It is an awful experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

If I am in a high state of anxiety and think about how unlikely/insane it is we/reality actually exists. It is just such an insane situation we are in I would freak out so bad, feeling like reality actually isn't real. It is awful.

>>8468509

I'm unsure if I'll be able to do the same in my sitaution. Our house that was originally in our name had gotten foreclosed on in 2009 during the shitstorm the economy went through, I was forced to move somewhere else for about a year after losing all my shit, moved back home and now we live in this rented property. If my parents die, I'm unsure if I'll be able to take the house.

I wouldn't mind living in the old house, if I had the chance, but it's much worse off then my current living situation despite it being much larger. There was much mold throughout the house, there was a room with trash to the ceiling, there were roaches EVERYWHERE in the house (To the point where I had roaches in my ear, roaches crawling on me while I was on the computer, roaches in my food/drinks, roaches in my electronics etc), there was a THICK smell of cat/dog piss/shit, the house was almost unable to live in by most health standards and it was just an overall mess.

The move was simply horrible.

>>8468542
>Selling drugs from your front door.
Seriously?

Meditation is a great way to deal with fear, depression, anxiety, and other emotions.

Once you've accepted the idea that some day you might be thrown out onto the street and starve to death then it won't be scary anymore. Who says that you have to be upset when you feel fear? Even if something is a genuine threat to your life and there's no way to avoid it then you still don't have to be scared. Fear, depression, anger, or any emotion only bothers you because you allow it to.

Why do you care so much? Practice meditation and come to the realization that it doesn't matter if you die. Completely let go of everything and then you can live your life happily.

>>8468548
Yeah. At least they do that a lot where I live. Black people are just the craziest.

>>8468556
As someone who meditates I have to say it is easier said than done. The ego always finds a way to worm itself back in.

It is weird though, how the closer you come to destroying the self, the more you feel like you discover who you really are.

Join the peace corps or something. Living in a third world country would probably be really refreshing. Makes you realize all your fears are socially manufactured BS and all you should care about is eating and living.

Seriously, I really wish I could do it for a few years, but I've already been to college so I have to find a good job so I don't screw over my co-signer.

>>8468556
Oh yeah, I've been wanting to try this out for a while now.
Where does one start? Are there any guides online or anything useful stuff like that you could recommend?

>>8468556

I've steadily been attempting to come to that point in my life. As of now, I am simply trying to come to grips with my situation along with holding out hope that I will somehow get better as well. The not caring part has done wonders for some social situations I've found myself in, but the fear is something I am still trying to let go.

However, something that makes me feel good is the quote; "All Good things must come to an end". It pretty much explains my current situation and somehow makes it acceptable for this to occur as it will end one day; when? I'm not entirely sure. For now, though, I will try to make the best of my life currently before it goes to shit and my future curse who I am now.

>>8468564

I've also had that approach coming into mind as well. If I can get enough funds or muster up the willpower for another job or additional schooling, I may try just living for food, shelter and internet in a small apartment. That's all I've really desired out of life. Some place to call my own apart from my small room, food, internet and warm shelter. I don't believe it's too much ask if I can find some type of work or assistance with everything going on with me.

>>8468564
People in 3rd world countries have similar mental problems, but they just either get killed in a street fight for acting strange or exorcised by a tribal doctor (or fed tiger teeth pills, depending on location).

>>8468558
How do I know I won't get robbed?

>>8468583
lol yeah, that's the thing.

>>8468570
http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_english.php

>>8468583

OP here.

Usually, I don't believe you will get robbed if you follow my advice. Do not wear anything flashy, try to downplay how wealthy you are, attempt to somewhat blend-in and I'd more or less have someone go with you just in case. I'd recommend trying to find some place where these type of people meet up, observe their conversations and eventually ask them about the weed. Especially if you see people sitting around smoking weed at Gas Stops, Liquior stores and things of this nature.

However, I'm unsure if this will fully work for you because as stated in my previous voice I am black and thus makes all of the above easier to perform me when I wanted drugs in the past. It's up to you to take my advice, but I have seen my childhood white friend hang all of these people more then I do. In fact, he has way more contacts/black friends then I ever will or hope to have. It's weird at times.

>>8468589
Thank you, kawaii sir.

>>>/adv/
>>>/r9k/
>>>/b/
All of you, /jp/ isn't the place to ask where you get drugs from, or how to deal with mild depression, for fuck's sake.

>>8468580
I just wish people would give being homeless or joining army or peace corps or all the other options a chance before giving themselves the ultimatum of "be a shut-in or kill myself". Realize that the world directly outside of your room is not the only choice you have. There are other cities and other countries. You can completely recreate your life in another part of the country or the world. What's outside your window isn't what you have to face.

Sometimes I envy the homeless. Their life is rough but they also have no monetary debt stacked on their souls. When you're forced out of your own perspective you realize the things you're so anxious about have very little to do with basic human life and it makes you realize why you're not more worried about THOSE things.

>>8468570

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL603BD0B03E12F5A1&feature=plcp

If you're looking for videos then I would recommend these. They should cover what you need to know to get started with meditation.

I would also recommend any of the books written by Thich Nhat Hanh, I particularly enjoyed The Miracle of Mindfulness. I found that mindfulness practice helped every aspect of my life tremendously. It really helps to calm you down and appreciate everything in life.

>>8468601

Who in the sam hell would recommend /b/ for anything good? Besides, there is actual discussion, exchange and content being done in this thread along with some decent advice here and there. So I do not think we will be going any where until the duration of this thread is complete.

I trust my parents enough to not just dump me on the street without warning. However, they expect me to go to university this September so I'm vaguely worried about that.

I suppose the best way to cope with the fear of running out of resources is to develop a workable plan for the future. Start looking for jobs which you could see yourself doing without wanting to commit suicide or try to get welfare. If there is no escape from a social job try seeing a doctor, maybe you can get some anti-anxiety medication or something.

>>8468613
Discussion or not, depression and drugs have nothing to do with VN's, Touhou, or anything that actually belongs on /jp/.

>>8468625
Hikki general is pretty Otaku Culture related.

Maybe the drugs discussion is a bit much, though. Ask 420chan.

I try not to think about it. Living for today and putting off tomorrow is how I became a NEET in the first place.

I live with my grandmother. I cook, do some light cleaning and yardwork, as well as helping her with computer problems. She pays for my car insurance and gas, as well as most other things. I don't worry about any "resources" running out, because it's not going to happen. I may or may not be getting this house that I am in right now and in the future I am getting my mother's house. If possible I'd like to rent one or both of them out and live in a studio apartment. I've said this many times before.

At least I'll always have you guys.

I love you, /jp/.

lmao try to make a thread using this gif now, looser

>>8468653
And if for some reason I get shunned onto the streets by both my grandmother and mother, I have the choice of either an aunt that lives nearby, some other family member, or a childhood friend in another state that would all likely take me in.

I have a feeling that if they were going to kick me out at all they would have already done it. As things are going now it's just not going to happen.

I always post this book when meditation is brought up.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/159030702X

Following his advice, or taking his thoughts seriously and meditating, opening yourself up while letting go. This honestly opened me up so much I "got over" the majority of my social anxieties. But, I am very sympathetic to his ideas about gentleness and stuff too so it didn't take too much convincing for me. I think for some of you it could really help.

I left school at 14, was a shut-in till 22 and then started meditating and etc. Some parts caused me a lot of pain and it isn't all easy, it can be harder than what is happening now, but it is worth it. Particularly I conjunction with CBT and other forms of therapy, assuming you get a good guy. Fuck medication, drugs, joining the army and all that other bullshit.

ITT: neet scum try and associate themselves with hikki/shut-ins and then make a thread about depression and going outside to buy drugs from blacks in the ghetto.

this is why neet are fucking trash. neet use to mean something besides being a jobless loser scummy normal 2 years ago on /jp/. now it just means any reject without a job on summer break

>>8468668
yeah man, tell 'em

I'll just leave it here.
Get the russian-english translator and read this book. NOW.

http://lib.aldebaran.ru/author/protopopov_anatolii/protopopov_anatolii_traktat_o_lyubvi_kak_eyo_poni
maet_zhutkii_zanuda/

>>8468668
I guess NEET is back to meaning what it's supposed to mean, then

>>8468685

Fuck, I wish I could have a tea party with /jp/ while dressed like the little girl, I would be able die happy. ;~;

>>8468939
Do you work at Coles?

I work 3 days a week, 4 hours a day then spend the rest of the week inside. I know this doesn't make me a tru neet but I can still feel like one for half a week and have the money to support it.

>>8468942
I don't know what that is. I just work at a store in the UK filling shelves. I'm not good with talking to people, but I only have to talk to my manager, so that's not much of a problem
No idea how I passed the interview, I was a mess and didn't even answer questions fully

>>8468957
Yeah, Coles is the Australian equivelant of a grocery store. I didn't even have to go to an interview.

>>8468961
I used to work nightfill in coles.

Did you have to do an IQ test as well?

>>8468990
I had to when I filled in my initial application to make my "profile" thing. My friend gave me the job without an interview though, and I was NEET for something like a decade or so before that.