/jp/ - Otaku Culture

1 Name: ⊂二二二（ ＾ω＾）二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4798 05:59 [Del]

Dearly 4Chan Website Today:

To my English, forgive me am German makes happily speaks, because I, and to the English.

It is brings a matter to to your attention. I have a science-Proven magic petrification ray that is capable to change magic any young feminine person into a marble statue immediately with magic. I am has very excitied to this thing. I will tell you the story. I enjoy to turn of pretty young girls in statue. I turned ran five girls in statue with the device however I out of girl and need I more girl. Help me please to receive to more girl. It is very important service to the world girl in statue because to transform:

1. Girls who have been turned in statue can be used for decoration.
2. Rocky-girl transformed did not make overpopulate the world or use natural Betriebsmittel.
3. The girls hear stop aging and decaying if in statue.
4. Young feminine person lives eternally after statue.
5. Girl, when statue is nicer, than a girl as a meat -- only kidding! :)
6. Women, when statue can be naked in publicly naked, to how fleshy woman does not complain.
7. Woman think I when statue is prettier, than women while living woman, opinion lives.
8. Humanity as well likes statue.
9. Women and girl liked by people.
10. Combining you 8 and 9 (8+9) - women + statues = girl who is changed to statue with machine, best.
11. Woman doesn't have to make waste or must eat or must sleep after statue becomes.

>>8435887
THESE ARE CAUSE FOR WHY.

I will tell you like the machines functioning.

A. The body of girl changes of organic fleshy material into marble stone.
B. Woman cannot move.
C. Young feminine person is statue eternal.
D. Girl can think and can: girl mind awake and living to see, from SCIENCE.
E. Woman knows, is is herself that she statue, and aware all that happens.
F. I make statue feminine petrification statue happily.
2 Name: ⊂二二二（ ＾ω＾）二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4798 06:00 [Del]

**** This why that I am need of you:

ARE YOU WOMAN GIRL? If you are woman girl, you come can make stop please to me so I can make girls becoming and beginnings of becoming stone statue woman. They come my house, remains my home. First you come my house. Then you remove clothes will need your to naked so you take it off. Then you stand on pedestal-stand to pose. Then I turn the petrification machine and it you statue turns you into. You will be the naked, and marble, and young, and girl, and pedestal-stand. Then you remain my home. With other girl-statue.

Good worry would plan turn takes that I to of my girl--in-statue. I speak touches with you and tremendously you and you sexually to show my love to you and make you happily and satisfies. You will be awake, sees during statue, awake eternally, to world, therefore I maintained would retain you and am happy too good.

They remain statue eternal. If I die I, I give provides you to for to other good man for care.

CONDITION: I do not become excited by children, therefore you must be old at least 13 years. I do not become excited old people, therefore you must be young under 21 years. You age is preferred becomes 17 the perfect years. Lovely must be. Must be willing to naked. No Africans or Turks. Jews preferred. Also Canada.

IF YOU WISH: Answer to my message with your electronic abschickenden addresses WANTING, and I will tell, how you come to me to becomes to statue!

Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should just stick with today's special.

Anything about tanasinn. Tanasinn tanasinn tanasinn. The word makes me laugh. Tanasinn. Hee hee hee. Tanasinn.

>>8435894
Picture in your mind a massive yellow phone book.

In this phone book is a name, number and address for every human being alive, that has ever lived, and ever will live, along with an equivalent number of pages in the business directory.

This phone book is on an old wooden table in a concrete room with no doors or windows.

You are trapped in the room and have a compulsion to read the phone book. You have now read through it cover-to-cover five-thousand, seven-hundred, thirty-one times. Your hands are pale from the lack of sunlight. Your hands are covered in scars from paper cuts. Your hands resemble the surface of Europa. You reach for the phone book one more time and flip through the pages like a picture book. As you flip through the pages at high-speed, the names and numbers form an image of yourself, staring back at you with a corrupted smile. The skin on your hands is now in shreds, the razor edges of the phone book having revealed bare bone, to which you are oblivious as you watch images dance on thin, colored-coded pages.

You have now flipped through the book eleven-thousand, eight-hundred, sixty-eight times.

This is what tanasinn is like

>>8435891
Babby Tokiko's first kopipe.

What did they do to you Afghanistan? Before you got sent there you discussed games/anime/whatever your other interests were in a rather intelligent fashion. All you do now is spam memes and feign ignorance for some undisclosed reason. What happened?

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. 9/11 WAS A LIE. THERE WERE NO TOWEL HEADS. THERE WAS NO AIRPLANE. IN TRUTH I WAS VISITING THE BIG APPLE, SO AS TO COMPARE MY GARGANTUAN MEAT TRAIN TO IT AND LAUGH AT THE GASPING NEW YORKERS AS I POUNDED THEIR BELOVED NAMESAKE INTO BIG APPLE SAUCE. HAVING NOT GOTTEN RELEASE FROM MY CULINARY EXERCISE, I MEANDERED DOWN THE STREET WITH MY VITAL BLOOD ENGORGED SEWER PIPE OUT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE A BLIND MAN'S CANE, LOOKING FOR A HOLE IN THE BACKSIDE OF A WOMAN WHICH I WOULD STRETCH BEYOND HUMAN LIMITS. I SPOTTED AT THAT VERY MOMENT AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE IN A MINISKIRT WAVING AT ME. I SLAPPED HER TO THE GROUND WITH MY ENORMOUS PHALLUS AND QUICKLY RAVISHED HER SKIRT LIKE A STARVED DOG ON A BABY MADE OF STEAK. THE SIGHT THAT AWAITED BOTH SHOCKED AND ENRAGED ME. AFTER SEEING THIS "WOMAN'S" RAISIN-SIZED WINKY WINKLER, I VOMITED DOWN HIS THROAT AND PENETRATED HIS ESOPHAGUS, RIPPED OUT HIS SPINE AND PEELED HIS CORPSE FROM MY MONEYMAKER. TO TEACH ALL OF NEW YORK A LESSON FOR LETTING THIS FLAMING FAG BAG LIVE, I LET

LOOSE A SEMENAL FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS UPON THE TOWERS OF TWO (AT WHOM'S SMALL SIZE I LAUGHED LIKE A CLOWN RAPING AN 8 YEAR OLD), WHICH CAUSED THEM TO COME CRASHING DOWN LIKE ME AFTER A WEEKEND METH BINGE. I MOCKED THE NEW YORKERS AND MADE NIGGER JOKES AS THEY RAN FROM MY EVER EXPANDING CLOUD OF SPERMAZOA, MASTURBATING TO THE LOOKS OF HORROR ON THEIR FACES. THE GOVERNMENT, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE AND BECAUSE THEY HATE ARABS MORE THAN JEWS, PAINTED A BOEING 767 ON MY GIGANTIC COCK AND CALLED IT A TERRORIST ATTACK. THE FEELING OF PAINTBRUSHES ON MY DICK MADE ME COME AGAIN, AND PRESIDENT BUSH SNORTED UP EVERY LAST DROP BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS COKE. SUDDENLY, HE CRIED OUT, "WHAT'S THAT AMAZING SMELL?" THEN A GROSSLY OBESE NEGRO POPPED OUT FROM BEHIND THE BURNING, TWISTED WRECKAGE OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTERS AND QUIPPED, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINE-SOL!" DISPLEASED AT HER INTERRUPTION OF MY DEVASTATING SODOMY

CONQUEST, YET SIMULTANEOUSLY ODDLY AROUSED BY A SUB-HUMANS DEFIANCE IN THE FACE OF MY TITANIC MEAT MONOLITH, I GRABBED THE NEGRESS BY HER ARMS AND INSERTED MY BATTLE CRUISER OF PASSION INTO THE ROILING WAVES OF FAT WHICH OBSCURED HER VAGINAL CLEFT. SHE SCREAMED INDECHIPHERABLY IN EBONICS, SO TO SHUT HER UP I POURED ALL THE CONTENTS OF THE PINE-SOL BOTTLE DOWN HER THROAT. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CHEMICALS IN THE LIQUID COMBINED WITH MY UNEARTHLY SUPER-SEMEN TO FORM A HIGHLY UNSTABLE AND EXPLOSIVE MIXTURE OF PURE POWER. JUST BEFORE THE FAT NEGRESS BLEW APART AS A RESULT OF THE INCREDIBLE CHEMICAL REACTION, MY MOTHER GOT SCARED AND SAID, "YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR." I WHISTLED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR, THE LICENSE PLATE SAID 'FRESH' AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR. IF

ANYTHING I COULD SAY THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE, BUT I THOUGHT, 'NAH, FORGET IT, YOU HOLMES, TO BEL-AIR!" I PULLED UP TO THE HOUSE ABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT AND I YELLED TO THE CABBY, YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER!" I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE, TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR. ONCE I ENTERED MY NEW, PALATIAL ABODE (ALMOST, BUT NOT QUITE, WORTHY OF MY INCALCULABLY HUGE MEAT MISSILE) I IMMEDIATELY SWEPT MY NEW FOSTER PARENTS ASIDE AND HEADED FOR THE ROOM OF THEIR YOUNG NIECE. YOU SEE, I JUST SPENT THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES RUBBING A TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL'S BARE CHEST. "HOW?" YOU ASK. WELL APPARENTLY THERE ARE A SELECT FEW CONTEXTS WITHIN WHICH SUCH AN ACTION IS ACCEPTABLE. FOR INSTANCE, IF YOUR NIECE HAS A HACKING COUGH AND YOUR SISTER ASKS YOU TO "PUT SOME OF THIS ON HER" WHILE SHE CALLS THE DOCTOR.

The following will be a series of posts that contain some tough news. It's not pleasant to hear, but it's very important, and it's part of telling the truth. The key point of the following exposition is that many of us are too naïve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see a person as inherently morally questionable or inherently raffish. Alas, Tokiko is doing all he can to provide us with unmistakable proof that he is inherently both. For instance, Tokiko criticizes me for encouraging quality posts over imagedumps. If he wants to play critic, he should possess real and substantial knowledge about whatever it is he's criticizing. He shouldn't simply assume that there won't be a shitstorm from his exploiting the board's short attention span in order to encourage shitposts.

"PUTTING SOME OF THIS ON HEAR" MEANT USING MY BARE HANDS TO RUB THIS VAPOR OINTMENT SHIT ALL OVER HER BARE NAKED CHEST. MY HEARTBEAT IS STILL ALL ERRATIC FROM IT. I HAD A BONER THE SIZE OF MANHATTAN THE ENTIRE TIME. SHE'S SLEEPING NOW AND I GUESS SHE FEELS BETTER BECAUSE SHE STOPPED COUGHING.

DETAILS: SHE'S ABOUT 5 FEET TALL, HAS LONG BROWN HAIR, A CUTE FACE, A THIN WAIST AND LONG SKINNY LEGS. SHE'S IN JAMMIES I THINK BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I'M PRETTY SHAKEN UP RIGHT NOW I KNOW I UNBUTTONED SOMETHING BEFORE I WENT AT IT.

>>8435915

To fortify a social correctness that restricts experience and defines success with narrow boundaries has never been something that I wanted to do. Never. Tokiko is too self-pitying to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of these posts. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: We must unmask his true face and intentions in regard to /jp/. If we don't, future posters will not know what a good post is. Instead, they will know shit; they will know autism; they will know imagedumps, namefagging, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that prudence is no vice. Cowardice—especially Tokiko's gormless form of it—is.

GOD I FEEL SO GREAT. I JUST RUBBED MY HANDS LAL OVER HER FUCKING TITS, YOU GUYS. WELL THE PUFFY PARTS OF HER CHEST ANYWAY. HER NIPPLES GOT HARD. I JUST ABOUT WEPT TEARS OF JOY. OBVIOUSLY, THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS IN THIS UNIVERSE WHICH CAN BRING ME TO SUCH A STATE, AND COMBINED WITH MY INCREDIBLE STATE OF AROUSAL, I WAS UNABLE TO HOLD BACK THE STORM BREWING IN MY COLOSSAL PUDDING BLASTER. MY STEAMING-HOT SILVER LAVA BLASTED OUT FURIOUSLY, INSTANTLY KILLING MY UNFORTUNATE YOUNG COUSIN AND REDUCING MY NEW HOME TO BLASTED BITS AND PIECES OF WOODEN DETRITUS. I GUARANTEE IT.

>>8435923

The vital matter is that the use of long run-on sentences, bad metaphors, multiple misspellings, and inappropriately placed $5 words like "imageboard culture" does not help his cause at all. But that's inconsequential because I frequently wish to tell Tokiko that he demonstrates a terrible, inaccurate, even disagreeable, misuse of /jp/ history with his damnable, puerile reinterpretations of historic events. But being a generally refined person, however, I always bite my tongue. He insists that he can be trusted to judge the rest of /jp/ from a unique perch of pure wisdom. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? To answer that question, we need first to consider Tokiko's thought process, which generally takes the following form: (1) It's perfectly ok to shitpost, so (2) there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of the same Tokiko pictures. Therefore, (3) he should be hailed as a good poster. As you can see, Tokiko's reasoning makes no sense, which leads me to believe that he exhibits an overweening sense of entitlement and a predilection for depreciating others. Let me recap that for you because it really is extraordinarily important: He has blood on his hands. Yet Tokiko pretends to be an innocent lamb who has our best interests at heart. We all know the reality: If he really had our best interests at heart, he wouldn't replace quality with shitposts.

>>8435931

There's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I profess, there's a time to do what comes naturally. Or, to put it less poetically, aspies often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Tokiko enjoys watching respectable anons twist and writhe whenever he threatens to contaminate our board with his posts.

Tokiko's teachings may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into lackluster autism. So far, this post has merely identified the ways in which even children are not safe from Tokiko's horrible shitposts. Now, let me shift gears and start telling you about how I stand by what I've written before, that Tokiko has, at times, called me "shitposter" or "squiddy". Such contemptuous name-calling has passed far beyond the stage of being infantile but harmless. It has the capacity to thrust all of us into scenarios rife with personal animosities and petty resentments.

>>8435937

The key to Tokiko's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, Tokiko's posts contain a farrago of extraordinary claims with little or no evidence. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly. If it is not yet clear that Tokiko's merely a sideshow exhibit in the circus of shitposters, then consider that it seems clear that as far as being autistic is concerned, none of the other /jp/ers hold a candle to him.

Someone just showed me a blog supposedly written by Tokiko. The blog spells out his plans to prime the pump of shitposting. If this blog is authentic, it tells us that I shall not argue that Tokiko's twitter postings are an authentic map of his plan to foster and intensify his drug-drenched drama of immorality. Read them and see for yourself. As you know, he habitually reads negative meanings into innocuous remarks. Oh, you didn't know that? That's because Tokiko has been trying to keep that fact hidden from the public so as to prevent people from realizing that he really struck a nerve with me when he said that shit in the name of quality is a valid use of /jp/. That lie is a painful reminder that this is our board, and I think we ought to keep it that way.

>>8435944

On a similar note, Tokiko keeps talking about the importance of his cause. As far as I can tell, his "cause" is to annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. He deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that his cause is just, that it's moral, and that /jp/ will love him for promoting it. In reality, Tokiko's criticisms of my posts have never successfully disproved a single fact I ever presented. Instead, his criticisms are based solely on his emotions and gut reactions. Well, I refuse to get caught up in Tokiko's "I think … I believe … I feel" game.

Now stay with me a moment here; I am making a point. Specifically, what we're involved in with Tokiko is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person—every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility—must concern himself with it. You may be shocked to hear this, but when I'm through with him he'll think twice before attempting to work both sides of the post-quality fence. I wish I knew when Tokiko was planning on unleashing his next volley of useless, benighted offhand remarks. Alas, I'm no Nostradamus. Nevertheless, some of my predictions have come true in spades. For instance, I predicted ages ago that Tokiko would fill /jp/ with recrimination and rancor, and look what happened. Even scarier, I predicted that Tokiko would marginalize me based on my standing up for /jp/. Although most people doubted that prediction when I made it, they neglected to consider that Tokiko has got to go—and yesterday isn't soon enough. To end this series of posts, I would like to make a bet with Tokiko. I will gladly give him a day's salary if he can prove that he is a quality poster, as he insists. If Tokiko is unable to prove that, tahen his end of the bargain is to get out of /jp/ while I put to rest the animosities that have kept various anons from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. So, do we have a bet, Tokiko?

ha ha ha

>>8436368
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _ hehe…toodles!!!!! love and waffles, t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

>>8436446
Go away, shii.

I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing a twelve year old girl's bare chest.

"How?" you ask. Well apparently there are a select few contexts within which such an action is acceptable. For instance, if your niece has a hacking cough and your sister asks you to "put some of this on her" while she calls the doctor.

"Putting some of this on hear" meant using my bare hands to rub this vapor ointment shit all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. My heartbeat is still all erratic from it. I had a boner the size of Manhattan the entire time. She's sleeping now and I guess she feels better because she stopped coughing.

Details: She's about 5 feet tall, has long brown hair, a cute face, a thin waist and long skinny legs. She's in jammies I think because although I'm pretty shaken up right now I know I unbuttoned something before I went at it.

God I feel so great. I just rubbed my hands all over her FUCKING TITS, you guys. Well the puffy parts of her chest anyway. Her nipples got hard. I just about wept tears of joy.

I didn't do anything else because I'm a coward and rubbing was enough. Plus it was legal and I didn't technically do anything wrong, so I'm in the clear.

I'd write more but I seriously have to go fap while the memory is fresh in my head.