/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[spoiler]> How big of a place does Touhou take in your life?
Just a hobby. I don't take it anywhere near as seriously as some of these weeaboos.

> Do you ever feel like you're too deep into something, to the point of where it's even hard to enjoy yourself at times?
I can't enjoy anything any more. That's the curse of being a depressed shut-in.</spoiler>

[spoiler]If it were not for Touhou, I would have killed myself a while ago. Also, it motivated me to teach myself Japanese. Looking forward to the next Comiket or Reitaisai or Kouroumu, enjoying doujin Touhou material and games is what keeps me going in ``life.''</spoiler>

[spoiler]I really like touhiu but im sad I contribute nothing to the fandom.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I play touhou for at least 30 minutes a day. Lunatic 1cc's in all games.

It's not that big in my life, but it's a fun time killer here and there.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou is the only motivator in life. My motivator to getting good at violin is because of touhou music.

So.. Touhou is pretty big in my life. I also want to learn how to sew the costumes so I can cross dress</spoiler>

[spoiler]Not much, it was just a fad, I'm pretty much over it.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412173
>How big of a place does Touhou take in your life?
I know it can't sound seriously but listen. I was torment by one global and abstarct question for years. That question was " What's the main point?"
I mean main point in all things. And i found it.

It's "Changeability of Strange Dream". I undestood that this world not so much differers from Gensokyo. It's just another phantasm.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412225
>I really like touhiu but im sad I contribute nothing to the fandom.
this</spoiler>

[spoiler]I'm just trying to finish everything I would need to enter Gensokyo and soon I will be having fun at Kourindou!</spoiler>

[spoiler]To me Gensokyo is what heaven to Christians.</spoiler>

[spoiler]OP here, Touhou has played a big part of my life for a long time, and in a lot of ways it's a big motivator to get myself out of bed in the morning. The music especially.

But I feel like it's gotten out of hand recently. I get strangely upset about (Touhou-related) things that didn't bother me before, and even though I still love it so much, I get very conflicted feelings. My life has had a bit of a negative spiral over the last six months, I think this might be the trigger.

I know I sound like a complete faggot, but can anyone relate to this at all? How do you deal with it?</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412614
>I get strangely upset about (Touhou-related) things that didn't bother me before
Can you give some examples? I'm not sure if I'm understanding what you get upset about properly.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412279
Are you me? I agree that it might sound idiotic, but CoSD had such an emotional effect on me when I first read it, it was out of this world.

[spoiler]And, the image you posted was once used for a YouTube upload of an old "The Doll Maker of Bucuresti" arrangement called "Retro Atmosphere" that I used to listen to a lot. It sure feels nostalgic.[/spoiler]</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412614
For some reason I can relate to what you said just by looking at OP picture.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412614

I relate with you 100% I really don't know why its such a big part of my life. Although I don't get mad at touhou related events.

Also, touhou has been a positive thing, it seems its becoming a negative thing to you?</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412656
That's a very good, question. I thought a lot about it now and I'm not as sure as I thought I was.

For one, I get upset when people say things I don't agree with. Not like a bitchy baaaw, and I've never cried about it, but I feel anxious, like my chest is tight and like I'm heavily at unrest.

I start thinking frantically about it and just can't stop.

I might get the same way when I see stuff like character portrayals I don't agree with, or when I see certain characters in certain situations that trigger a specific "bad memory". I hope that explains some stuff.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou has helped me so much. I think I might have killed myself long ago if I never found it. It always makes me feel like there's something worth living for.

I want to give ZUN a big hug, and a beer.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412683
Garnet seems to have the power to indulge sweet, complicated feelings within anyone who loves Touhou.

>>8412696
Please don't get me wrong! I still love Touhou, and without it there'd be a fuckhuge gaping hole in my life. I'm not considering "quitting" Touhou, just a way to deal with these feelings. New habits, or a new way of thinking.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412783

You wanna talk about it on IM? I relate to your problem.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou helps me sleep at ease during night.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412700
Yeah, I know what you mean. I sometimes find myself feeling the same way on a lot of aspects about Touhou, but I think it just means that you are passionate about it. Having strong support for something is never a bad thing, although it can sometimes cause anxiety. When I get like that, I just take my mind off of it by indulging in some other aspect of Touhou. It's never really stopped me from enjoying it as a whole, though.</spoiler>

>>8412700

>>8412824 here,
Although, if you mean that Touhou as a whole has a negative impact on your life, then it may be time to change. For me, it's had a positive impact, with some minor uneasiness, but it doesn't distract me from enjoying it entirely. But if you find Touhou burdensome, it may be time to change.

[spoiler]Touhou IS my life. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. I learned japanese just because I wanted to understand anything related to touhou without having to wait for translations, I've spent countless hours daydreaming about Gensokyo, and I've read dozens of books about western and eastern magic to better form my theories about how to open a portal.

By the way, I've come to the conclusion that suicide is a very bad idea if you want to end up in Gensokyo.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I'd suppose that Touhou takes up about 5% of my day</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou is filling the spiritual gap in me that current religions couldn't.
That doesn't mean I pray to Touhous or think they're real. But it feels a lot like religion-lite, with deities, followers etc...</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412852
I'm not sure if you're completely serious, but if you are, this describes me as well. Found any leads yet?

And yeah, I came to the same conclusion.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412885
Touhou inspired me to study Shinto in-depth.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412817
T-this so sudden but

Yes, sure. Is msn ok or do you prefer something else? I'll make a new email address and post it here in a bit, and then whoever wants can add me for whatever reason. If you want to talk about this, or if you just want to talk about whatever else.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou saved my marriage.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412928

Ill wait</spoiler>

>>8412885

I'm trying to summon a familiar to help me binding an illusionary land. I haven't succeeded yet though.

[spoiler]>>8412900

I'm trying to summon a familiar to help me binding an illusionary land. I haven't succeeded yet though.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412968
hello_anonymous@live.com

Feel free to add me, anyone and everyone...</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8413012

You gonna accept?</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412991
Ah, I'm trying to use talismanic magic. How are you going about the summoning?</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8413341
Are you guys serious? I'm interested</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8414245
Guy using talismanic magic here. Yes, I'm completely serious. Nice to see that there's at least some interest in this kind of work.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>How big of a place does Touhou take in your life? And if you don't like Touhou, substitute with whatever else you come here for.
i like Touhou but i'm hardly a fan, i mostly come here for the hilarious shitposting when i am bored.

>Do you ever feel like you're too deep into something, to the point of where it's even hard to enjoy yourself at times?

lack of sleep and internet shortens my attention span. i need to read some books.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I'm not that into Touhou, but I sort of feel attracted towards Touhou, the characters fascinate me for some reason, I can't explain it.

Maybe it's the ZUNart.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8412931
>>8412900
>>8412885
>>8412852
>>8412824
>>8412707
>>8412696
>>8412665
>>8412279
>>8412252
>>8412197
I'm pretty sure you are all insane in one way or another, but I am very glad you people exist and are willing to share your experiences.

This thread warmed my heart.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I use it as a coping mechanism, combined with meds and therapy. I don't know if I'll like it forever, but it gave me comfort in a critical time of my life.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou it's my reason to fap.
Also It's basically my hobby nowadays, I want to believe they exist, maybe when I die I would get there and become a little girl with a frilly hat and a frilly dress and I will start having fun in spellcard duels [spoiler];_;[/spoiler]
Even so... I suck at the games. I only can do 1CC in 5 games.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou has become my medicine when I feel down and a huge motivator for practicing artwork. Without Touhou what's the point of even trying to live life? The amount of relativity and all the fun and wonderful games and books and fan works that ZUN and fans make are soul soothing. I could say if I didnt have Touhou I would hate my life and I do fantasize about being glitches into gensokyo every single day.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I am a fan. Passionate. But knows my limit. I would try to at least contribute to the fandom. I took cooking class and thought "What if i make [P] biscuts..." I did some but with trial and error.

I quiet myself being a Touhou Fan. But if others found out. I just tell the truth and walk away.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8415973
Huh, recently I've started researching magic as well. Good to see that I'm not alone.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I haven't gotten into tohou. Cirno is pretty cool, as is the shrine maiden. But I couldn't be arsed to try to get into it, because I'd want to start from "the beginning", and that would take to much time.

I just come here because I like you guys.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8419470
Huh, and a am studying runic magic.
I didn't expect so many people who are interested in magic here.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8419510
No touhou game is difficult on normal. You could probably 1cc all of them within a week. I honestly played for no more than 30 minutes a day and I still was able to clear hard mode, even.

For some Cirno action, I'd recommend playing EoSD or PoFV(but only if you have people to play with.) PCB also has her there, but only as a stage 1 mid-boss. I would also say StB, but it's about as hard as most touhou games get.</spoiler>

[spoiler]If heaven does really exist, it must be Gensokyo.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>How big of a place does Touhou take in your life?

>Do you ever feel like you're too deep into something, to the point of where it's even hard to enjoy yourself at times?

I'm too scared to answer these, I know my life would be worse without the girls, the concept of an eternal Gensokyo where I can come back makes my life comfortable and, somehow, I can empathize with them and share their happiness a little. I've been always a friendless person due to myself and my situation, I'd recall karma here.
What is touhou to me?
I'm scared to answer because once I know what I have I'll know what I can lose and the idea of losing sight of the girls crushes my soul

What part takes in my life?
It's a master wall that holds a lot of grief. See it like a life like structure, if I remove it then the whole thing would collapse and once I'll reach bottom, if that happens I don't want to build it again, just end the suffer.</spoiler>

[spoiler]It's really great to see all the people who have love for Touhou here.

Maybe a lot of people probably think it's stupid to love imaginary things, but I think it's a really great thing. After all, to those who do, these things are perfectly real.

I used to love Touhou much more than I do now. I don't know why, it just started to fade after a time. I wish I knew how to get back into it like I was before.

By the way, as for OP. What you're feeling is very simple. You love these characters, you love Gensokyo, and so you don't want to see an interpretation of these things that you feel is an insult to them. I think that's also a great thing.

Imaginary things, dreams, stories, legends. Without things like that, I think life wouldn't be worth living. So why not love them?

I almost want to become a writer one day just so I can write stories. Just for the sake of the stories themselves. I don't particularly care whether the stories get popular or not. But if at least one person comes to me and says that they also love the story, that would be all I need.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8419330
I totally agree with you there. This is the most heart warming thread on /jp/ ever.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou is the biggest part of my culture, it replaced many of my other interests, because that is becoming sometimes (even more) hard to converse with me due I rather not bring out my big touhoufaggotry.

I can say without exaggerate like 90% of my free time is dedicated to Touhou related activities.

I started again drawing courses inspired by fanarts, and most probably I study Japanese this year.

And I met Touhou first time just a year and a half ago.</spoiler>

[spoiler]And we're back!

Why was the Touhoucore thread deleted?

(apologies for using this as a meta-thread of sorts)</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8420436
Actually, every single thread besides this one is 404'd.

The archives are going to have an interesting situation to deal with.</spoiler>

>>8420436
Every thread apart from this one 404's.

[spoiler]>>8420437
How strange.</spoiler>

[spoiler]omg this thread isnt 404'd how is everyone?</spoiler>

[spoiler]Getting 403s on most of the other boards too (seems only /a/ and /jp/ are fine).

Team 4chan, what on earth are you doing?!</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8420443
same here bro. What the fuck is going on?</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8420442
It's only been a day, faggot.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8420443
Ditto. Hey, at least /jp/ is here. And /tv/ is up just in time for the Globes.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8420445
man, I thought you guys would be nice on the day 4chan is going nuts. jeez</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8420447
>The day
4chan has been having more and more issues as of late.

This is nothing special.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I may as well make what may be the last on-topic post in this thread.

I'm really happy to see other people here who think as I do, that Touhou is as religion, that access to Gensokyo is possible, and who have reached the same conclusion as I have - that suicide is not the way.

It is inspiring to read those posts. I'm not alone, it's good to know this and it only feeds my faith.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Oh god whats happening</spoiler>

[spoiler]I love this thread.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I knew about toohoo since a long time ago, but never actually bothered seeing what the fuss was about until I started playing the games about 2 months ago

It changed me

I cant go a single day without playing at least an hour, I started having dreams about it and the characters, I cant let the toohoos out of my head and I dont want to

I now base everything I do after them, name and theme stuff after them, I named my cat Chen and gave her a silly hat, I buy touhou merchandise with my leech money and listen to nothing but touhou remixes, and the best part of it its that this obsession actually made me happier than ever before

ZUN is my hero</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8420452
>that suicide is not the way.

Which is the way, then?

But, if I suddenly stop posting for more than 2 weeks straight, it means my soul is in Gensokyo or deep into the void.

I love you /jp/.</spoiler>

[spoiler]bump</spoiler>

[spoiler]Did someone say magic? Picture and link related.

media f1r3 , corn/ ?lwnk807826r5vkv

For me, the increasing of consciousness and the exploration and touching upon what truth may be hidden from normal states is my biggest motivation, but I split my fun hobby action between /a/ and /jp/.


If you tell me you interests or motivations for reading something in the vein of what's in my link, I will recommend a book for you out of it.

As to reality, I know these characters are all fiction, but using fantasy to incite emotions and experience has been occuring since man wondered.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8422797
Because a lot of you are lurkers, may I suggest the game of life by Dr. Leary to introduce the 8 circuit psychology model followed by light mode Robert Anton Wilson's non fiction or hard mode Gurdjieff?

After that maybe Austin Osmand Spares writings might start to make sense.</spoiler>

Sensation . . Nutrition . . . Mastication . . . . Procreation . . . ! This is your blind-worm cycle. Ye have made a curiously bloody world for love in desire. Shall nothing change except through your accusing diet?

In that ye are cannibals, what meat should I offer? Having eaten of your dead selves savoured with every filth, ye now raven to glutton of my mind's motion?
In your conflict ye have obtained . . . ? Ye who believe your procreation is ultimate are the sweepings of creation manifest, returning again to early simplicity to hunger, to become, and realise-ye are not yet. Ye have muddled time and ego. Think ye to curb the semen sentimentally? Ye deny sexuality with tinsel ethics, live by slaughter, pray to greater idiots-that all things may be possible to ye who are impossible.

For ye desire saviours useless to pleasure.

Verily, far easier for madmen to enter Heaven than moral Lepers. Of what difference is Life or Death? Of what difference is dream or reality? Know ye nothing further than you own stench? Know ye what ye think ye know for certain? Fain would I be silent. Yet too tolerant is this Sun that cometh up to behold me, and my weakness comes of my dissatisfaction of you solicit . . . . but be ye damned before obtaining fresh exuses of me!

[spoiler]I play the games, not nearly as much as I used to though, listen to the music and occasionally look around pixiv for fanart. Other hobbies have gradually taken more place lately.</spoiler>

[spoiler]Although I only play touhou a few times a day these days. I listen to touhou related music and look at touhou pictures pretty much all day.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8422865

>Austin Osman Spare

I am >>8420452

Seeing once more that people in this thread are on the same track as I am... I'm really happy.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I mostly just listen to the Doujin music and beat off to the eromanga. I've always been terrible at the games.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8424885
How do you mean
>access to Gensokyo is possible
?

Also, I've only today finally gotten around to torrenting the touhou games. I think I will start with 6.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8424922

How do I mean? If I knew how, then I don't think I'd be on /jp/ right now, if you get my drift.

If you just want a clarification of that statement, then I'm not sure how much clearer I can be - I sincerely believe that it is possible to physically go to Gensokyo. I believe it exists, and I believe that all its 'characters' exist there.

Trying to explain the nature of its existence and how something that's quite clearly a work of fiction dreamt up by ZUN can actually exist is something I'd find difficult to properly word.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8424885
It's a hell of a challenge even keeping yourself sane and solid when doing such a thing, though. There's a lot of spiritually active realities out there -go looking and you might find it.

A friend of mine died during an astral projection. I'm not sure what he saw during his last moments or where he ended up, but he went places nowhere near earth. Maybe that'd do?</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8424988

I'll just reply as though I believe you. That's the foundation of my method anyway. Belief as a tool.

Nowhere near earth wouldn't be a terribly good place to be if Gensokyo is your destination - physically, at least. It's right there on the Touhou Wiki!

>The fourth chapter of Cage in Lunatic Runagate reveals that the Youkai Mountain preserves the original appearance of Mount Yatsugatake before Sakuya-hime, the goddess of Mount Fuji, tore it down out of jealousy. In the outside world today, the remnants of the mountain can be seen as the Yatsugatake mountain range in Yatsugatake-Chūshin Kōgen Quasi-National Park between Nagano and Yamanashi Prefectures, providing an indication of where Gensokyo would be located in Japan. Lake Suwa (諏訪湖, Suwa-ko), which Suwako Moriya was named after, is located nearby.

>Yatsugatake-Chūshin Kōgen Quasi-National Park between Nagano and Yamanashi Prefectures

Gensokyo is right there - it's getting in that is the difficult part.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8424949
As someone who heavily relies on Touhou in everyday life and has done so for many years, but still believes that Gensokyo is entirely fictional, this post makes me curious.

Maybe there are things that can convince me otherwise. Could you maybe share your story?</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou is a cultural treasure.
1000years from now when historian try to solve the Touhou myth, legend will be spoken of the mysterious hidden/lost land of Gensokyo.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I'd wish /jp/ would actually talk about touhou instead of LOL FAP FAP FAP SLUT SLUT SLUT</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425062


Land of Illusion and Fantasy. Gensokyo, the place where things go when our world has forgotten them.

It's really hard for me to explain, I'm bad at explaining most ordinary things as it is, but I'll make an attempt, and I'll try to keep it simple.

Touhou's 'characters' are based upon myths and legends. Things that don't exist.

To be considered just a myth. You could say that this is what it means to be 'forgotten' by this world. We don't believe in them anymore, so they no longer exist.

That's all I'm able to put together, I'm sorry. The rest is simply faith.

If you want to know where I first gained that faith, you can attribute that to Kanako. She responds to prayer and tribute - "she" being the wind and rain that never once, not a single time, has failed to appear when I offer Kanako my respect. That's where I first truly believed Gensokyo could actually be real: When I appealed to Kanako for wind and rain, and wind and rain appeared. First time could have been co-incidence, second, third times also, but I've since lost count. I realized that if Kanako is able to respond, then she must be real, if she is real, then Gensokyo is real. That's how I realized it for myself.

I'm sure this post is a jumbled mess of no help, but I tried.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425154

Now I can't stop thinking about Kanako. I'm moved to tears, here. Actually believing that Gensokyo exists, and just thinking that I, little, insignificant me, have actually spoken to Kanako Yasaka is a source of tremendous happiness for me.

Here's part of a post I made on /jp/ a while ago when someone else was asking about Kanako:

Through imitation of whatever it is that Sanae is singing in the intro to this track, I managed to be heard by Kanako.

Of course, you need to have faith, and you need to be thinking hard about what you're trying to convey to Kanako. It's also best done outdoors, and I consider it a token of gratitude if I stay outside for a while in the rain instead of immediately going in to escape getting wet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icGf5PfQhEM

I admit I don't have a clue what's being sung there, but that isn't the point. It works, or at least for me it does.

I believe that when practicing this, I am temporarily assuming the role of Sanae herself, in a way.

Through faith, and correct intonation, the hopeful takes on the ability to cause a miracle.

...

I'm sorry for going on, but I love talking about this.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425154
I think I got some insight of your reasoning. Thank you for your time.

I think this is all really interesting. The very concept of Gensokyo in itself makes it very much so. Even if my relationship to Touhou isn't religious, it's more than just something that takes up a lot of my time. It's a very important "tool" of sorts in my everyday life.

And on the general topic of this thread, I wonder what sort of footprint Touhou Project as a whole will leave on world history. I just can't seem to think of anything similar that has existed in modern times. Huge fandoms, sure, devoted fans, sure, but Touhou stills seems unique the width of it all.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425269

I never used to think of it as something religious, but it's true, isn't it. Touhou has literally become my religion.

I never understood religion, how people could get so worked up about it. But when I'm singing for Kanako and when I can hear her beautiful voice in the form of the howling wind, I think I do understand.

I'll never forget the time my neighbours were having a party in their back garden, being very noisy, and I went outside with a lit candle and asked Kanako to put it out along with the din coming from next door. It rained for the rest of the night. I can't even explain the feelings I experienced.</spoiler>

[spoiler]I've been trying for a long time to decide what kind of impact touhou has had on my life; if it was positive or negative.

since I discovered it I've been spending more and more time in touhou related activities, I play it at least once a day, or as I think of it, I practice every day. I feel like someone who is heavily involved in a sport. The more I practice and the better I get just gives me this incredible feeling of accomplishment.

I've became distant from people I know because I talk about touhou constantly and they don't get it, so I've been spending much more time online with people who understand the glory that is touhou.

I'm afraid I've become a touhou otaku, it's given me a goal, and endless entertainment, searching for new fan art, doujin, any kind of media, before I just passed each day by uninterested in anything, and now I have something that truly interests and entertains me.

I've become quite reclusive and obsessive, more and more distant from reality, but I feel like there is a purpose to my life now. I'm not sure how I feel about any of it, so if someone can help me figure out what this all means I'd be very greatful</spoiler>

[spoiler]/jp/ - Religion/General</spoiler>

[spoiler]=_=
Naive realism, naive realism everywhere. Excellent for pragmatic works, but horrible for anything of added dimensions.

The first thought of god was an angel and the first word was man. What fool would think that a symbol can be the same as an idea?

The more exact a science the more it admits loss.

While magick is verified via results, this does not justify false logic.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425556

>Magick

Your words, they issue from your gluteus maximus</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425334
>Touhou has literally become my religion.
きんも☆</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425556
It does, however, justify possibility and hope. The more we know to be feasible the more we hope to achieve.</spoiler>

[spoiler]How does it feel to fap to something you worship as a god?

Do you feel guilty or is it some sort of praise?</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8425705

I don't fap to Touhous. Not even that picture will change that, delicious as armpits can be.</spoiler>

[spoiler]necrobump</spoiler>

[spoiler]Touhou is not really a big part of my life right now, maybe thirty five percent of my life?
It's not that big but it is one of the most significant things that refined my personal reality.

Discovery of Yukari Yakumo to be exact. No, I discovered Touhou through the Scarlets and still love them lots but the whole 'Borders/Boundaries' thing really helped me 'discover'(more like decide) what I am.
As a physical entity, I believe I will be able to act as a border for phantasms to pass through and hence exist in reality.

While I'm not trying as hard as you guys to get into Gensokyo(I have my own 'Gensokyo' inside me already after all), I most certainly understand the feelings and beliefs behind that intent.
Though my ultimate goal is to project a 'Gensokyo' into reality instead of the other way round. I think if going from real to fantasy is possible, then surely from fantasy to real is possible as well no?

I'm now trying to project two phantasms into my surroundings and keeping them there in my mind's eye for a start. Is there any known magic that is similar to this that I could benefit from reading up about?</spoiler>

[spoiler]I stopped listening to Linkin Park and started listening to touhou instead</spoiler>

[spoiler]Sup crazies, OP here.

I've been following this thread, but I still managed to forget to reply and say my thanks to those who offered me advice. I'd like to mention >>8420158 and >>8412824 especially. I think, for me, they where a good dose of positive energy. This thread as a whole has been, and even if I can't relate to some of the more deeply existential pondering, I think it's great that everyone has opened up to talk about this.

Today I made some rules that I think might help me get over my negative spiral. It's pretty simple, but I'll post it anyway, because I want to get it out of me.

Cont. in next post</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8429172
1) Silent Time
I listen to Touhou music almost every single moment awake. I have a huge collection and I add new albums every week. It's great fun and I love it, but I think in some ways the music fuels my frantic thinking. It also triggers daydreaming, which I love, but it's tiring in the long run, and when I get tired I start triggering negative thoughts. I've decided to not listen while I cook, eat or read, or try to spend an hour or so now and then without music. I'm not listening now, for example.

2) Non-Touhou activities
This ties to the one above. I need a few non-Touhou activities everyday, to take my mind off it. I should stop visiting Danbooru and Pixiv so often, and I should limit my time on /jp/ some. I should start reading newspapers again, for example. Also try to find interesting tv-shows and documentaries, and watch the news on channels that have longer news casts. I have an interest in what's going on in the world, so this shouldn't be so hard. And idk, if I'm desperate I could start watching anime again, I guess.

3) Talk about my feelings
Like this thread, for example. But I have also realized that I hold in a lot of my emotions. This has gotten better, but I need to get even better. I shouldn't ignore my own feelings or thoughts, I shouldn't dismiss them as not worth mentioning, because even if they're just my opinions, they are a part of my reality and my world view, and there's nothing wrong about wanting to defend those. Even if they are "just" concerning a game series.

cont.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8429195
4) Play more Touhou games
This might sound weird, but I think this really might help! I don't play the games as much as I used to, and for longer than I want to admit I've played nothing but TD and UFO. I should go back to the roots and enjoy what first made me fall in love with Touhou. It might also help to focus on the official works more, because fanworks can sometimes create such mixed and complicated feelings. The games are also a good stress reliever, and a good way to focus on something else other than what's going on in my head.

And that's pretty much it. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me and not just calling me faggot.</spoiler>

[spoiler]>>8429195
>>8429172
>>8429201
Yeah, the last idea is good. Just don't take the games too seriously, like overfocusing on a 1cc to the point where you get frustrated with playing. Just take it easy. I'm glad to be of some help, anon.</spoiler>