/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I remember this thread. It ended in ERP between some internet tough guy and a Marisa roleplayer, if I recall.
This one has quite the reputation to live up too.

Define steal. Are we talking rape or kidnapping or both?

>>8224416
Why wouldn't I?

If she'd steal me I'd be overjoyed.
However, I'm afraid she'd just steal my heart and then leave, never to return.

Only if I get to be her apprentice.

How would a tiny girl steal me? Lasers and stars won't help her carry someone around.

Anyone who says they would resist is a lying faggot.

It is known.

Why wouldn't she steal me? I'm not precious.

>>8224424
You don't know. You have no information to go on other than she's taking you. If you wish you can assume anything COULD happen, even if its not likely.

B-b-but that's not a mushroom!
aaaaaNNNNHHHHHHHH~

Yeah that's how it'll go down.

I don't think you get a choice. It's just the easy way or the hard way

Can't be any worse than it is here. Besides, I could do with her hat.

I'm here to steal your virginity, Anonymous!
★ And your heart ★ ze~

>>8224433

ill be happyt

Typical gaijin
steal everything

>>8224445
You can take my heart, but you'll never take my wizardry.

>>8224445
But Marisaaaaa, I'm browsing /jp/

>>8224447
>>8224445
>>8224433
UBER FUCKING CRAZY

Ahhhh~
My dream come true!

>>8224445
Don't forget first kiss

>>8224450
Don't you want to become my wizard apprentice, Anonymous?
Now fork over your virginity before I steal it by force ze~.

While I'm at it, I'll steal your doubles too ze~

D-does that mean I get to go to Gensokyo?

But how will you all feel when she gets tired of you and dumps you in Reimu's donation box as a prank?

It's a trap, if you want to become a wizard the last thing you should do is live with a woman, much less Marisa.

>>8224467
Free trip to Gensokyo, I wouldn't complain.
Time to chill with Reimu.

>>8224467
This just gets better and better.

>>8224467
That's when I plot my revenge

>>8224467
You asked an interesting question, but utilized in the process one of the many pictures that could answer that question.

My response is to take my pants off. Be back in five minutes.

*Maastaah*
*Spaaarkuu*
*ZWOOOOM*

That is all it takes for Marisa to break into your house to steal your virgnity.
Why have you not learned some form of danmaku to defend your purity?

Some of you seem to have been getting information from questionable sources, so I'd like to remind everyone that Marisa steals durable objects and hearts, and virginities are neither of these.

>>8224489
>>8224490
>>8224493
>>8224494
And when Reimu eventually trades you to Aya for a subscription to Bunbunmaru and you're forced to live on a mountain full of tengus and one mechanical genius kappa?

>>8224500
>virginity
>purity

Nope.

>>8224526
Fucking jackpot!

>>8224500
That would imply I'd want to defend myself from that attack. Now if she wanted to steal my virginity and THEN teach me danmaku, I'd be up for that.

>>8224526
Oh, yeah, no. That would just suck. That entire situation isn't exactly Christmas, you know?

What to do, what to do?

>>8224526
I hope this doesn't end up being a cycle of various people discarding, bartering, or otherwise disliking you and sending you to the next unfortunate touhou.
Even rumia probably wouldn't eat me because I no doubt taste horrible

>>8224419
Link to this fabled thread

>>8224526
THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER!
It's like I'm getting a free trip throughout the best places of Gensokyo and meeting my favorite Touhous!

Next you will tell me Aya loses me in a drunken bet to Yuugi and now I am stuck in hell with the Oni.

>>8224557
Gimmie a minute.

>>8224560
Now is when the brutal anal rape happens.

>>8224574
>Anal rape
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

>>8224557
Huh. I remember there being a lot more.

http://fuuka.warosu.org/jp/thread/7815537

>>8224546
Yes, this is exactly what it leads to. A never ending spiral of trading you like a piece of meat just as you're starting to develop feelings for each them, never having the happiness you so long for. Each time it will elude you just before you can grasp it. A personal hell of emotional torment and crushing loneliness that lasts until you go to the Eientei and break down crying at Eirin's feet, asking her for a drug that will allow you to end your own life painlessly.

After you die to Eirin's drug, your final stop will be to stand before Yamaxanadu and be judged, where she takes pity on you for all you've wrongly suffered, and decides to keep you for all eternity to ease her own loneliness, sparing you for a horrible bad end

>>8224574
I hope Yuugi is sober enough to send Anon to Eirin to fix his massive internal wounds before he dies.

>>8224583
...it could be worse. As long as I'm making some unhappy Touhou happy.

>>8224583
Nice to see another romantic around.
Although I wouldn't bother eiren with my troubles. I can at least kill myself properly after adequate despair, or die trying.

>>8224526
I break the seal and void the warranty before that happens, making sure I can stay with Reimu forever.

YOU CAN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD

>>8224630
Isn't he just saying that he's going to steal your stolen goods and sneakily extort money from you or he'll make your life living hell?

>>8224640
Yes, the state is a racket.

>>8224640
Anyone who marathons across mountains, in the freezing cold, while wearing heavy armor, just to extort me deserves the money

>>8224640
no

>>8224450
>>8224481
What if losing your virginity if a means to transfer prana to you? You won't become a wizard, but Marisa can teach you to be a warlock instead.

What? Why would Marisa steal a person? What's she going to do with that?

>>8224666
Toss it on the pile.

I'll pretend to resist so she won't get bored.

I know all of her danmaku patterns anyways
I'm sure I can put up a fight

>>8224666
Sacrifice your soul to Tzeentch and siphon your proto-wizard powers.

>>8224666
Research on humans becoming youkai. Wants to test the waters on that one

>>8224666
End her loneliness.
Must feel pretty lonely to just sit in a forest all day by yourself, hoping that something interesting happens.

>>8224675
Good point.
But wouldn't a person just get up and leave? Or talk? Or something?

>>8224697
>marisa is a cat.jpg
>sign says "Caution: Vicious dog"
?

>>8224676
This here is a worthy man.

>>8224704
Damn it...

Marisa tries to kidnap you, but her spell misfires and ties her up instead. Now what?

>>8224736
I would be scared but I think I would start masturbating.

I'd bash her in the face with a police baton.

>>8224736
I feed her Mcdonalds everyday until her fat stomach tear the ropes.

>>8224736
I'd put on her clothes

>>8224736
Stare at her for a few moments, untie her, and then
>get killed by angry Marisa.

>>8224736
I'd untie her and help her up.
Even if she did it on purpose.

>>8224736
Steal her hat.

>>8224736

Put on her hat and run around her in circles with her broom between my legs, all the while doing an insulting impression of her.

>>8224693
Loneliness? She spends 95% of her life alongside Reimu.

What happens if Marisa breaks into a Black man's house and tries to steal him?

Porn movie perhaps?

>>8224842
What's the other 5%?

>>8224881
In Occupy Eientei Street.

>>8224881
Stealing.

>>8224881
3% Stealing.
2% Sleeping.

>>8224843
If the black man fails to seduce Marisa, it ends in master spark.

She can't steal me if I willingly give myself to her!

Marisa can steal my virginity

Marisa marches into your room to steal you, and immediately trips, falls flat on her face, and goes unconscious. Now what?

>>8224913
Run my hand through her hair, touch her boob, that sort of thing.

>>8224932
Would you steal her hat?

>>8224962
I think I'd try it on, but I wouldn't steal it. I wouldn't look as cute in it as Marisa.

>>8224913
Make sure she is okay, then get her a bag of ice for her face.
It would be a shame to leave a mark on something pretty.

>>8224975
Swoon~

>>8224776
but you don't know japanese so the only thing you'd be saying is just "Ze! Ze! Ze! Ze! Ze!", right?
actually that still sounds really fun.

>>8224989
Ore wa sekushi mahou shoujo!

>>8224736

Take her hat and Hakkero, go "LOOK AT ME IM MARISA MASTERSPARK DAZE~"

Then send her on her way.

>>8224913
As soon as she wakes up, ask her how many digits are in the decimal system

>>8224989
MARISA DOES NOT SAY "DA ZE"
SHE DOES NOT SAY THAT

>>8224913
Get her awake as quickly as possible so she can save me from this hellhole.

Why would Marisa care for some non-special human without friends? The most she would probably do for you is make you tea. But when you would start drinking it you would start feeling tense and soon you would get a suffocating feeling. Your heart starts racing but you can't breathe. You start to get paralyzed and everything is becoming dark. You look at Marisa, she has this look on her face.

Why steal something of no value?

>>8225167

>>8224416
If it was truly Marisa, I'd be scared shitless. Marisa(or for that matter pretty much any Touhou) has about as much destructive capacity as an atomic bomb. Yes, even with danmaku rules.

I would not resist. Resisting could set off the armed atomic bomb that is attempting to kidnap me and kill me and people around me.

Escaping from Gensokyo is going to be hard, a disaster occurs there every few weeks, people say hi to each other by shooting barrages of bullets at each other, human eating monsters are everywhere, and Gensokyo's surrounded by some crazy magic barrier that prevents people from getting in(can't get rescued by the cops). And I can't use motherfucking magic or fly. So in order to get out, I'm going to have to con my way to the shrine and make a break for it.

Though in the mean time, I'll devote my time to studying Marisa's powers. Figuring out how Marisa is able to shoot a laser of many megawatts into a turbulent airstream without producing blooming or getting vaporized herself could have useful applications in the outside world. Especially ones in the military realm.

>>8225229
Is that comic ever going to get updated again

>Marisa

>>8225373
The comics are here
http://radtouhoucomic.tumblr.com/

>>8224913
Call the cops, report break in. Take Hakkero, reverse engineer. Produce directed energy weapon. Sell to military and make a huge profit.

>>8225404
You get rich and Marisa goes to jail? Dick move.

>>8225397
I know that, but there's only three and it's been months

>>8225404
The Jews wouldn't give you any money, stupid goyim.

>>8225412
but she was trying to break into my house, WHO IS THE REAL DICK?

>>8225412
Jail can be avoided if Marisa "cooperates".

>>8225404
>Call the cops, report break in.
>>8225412
>Marisa goes to jail

Implying the cops would do something other than beat YOU and leave you bleeding in your own doorway. Ahaha, you're funny.

>>8225427
You don't blame a lion for killing an antelope, and you don't blame ☆Da~ze☆-chan for burglary.

I'd kick her fucking ass.

>breaking and entering
>stealing
>kidnapping
>murder

>breaking and entering
>stealing
>kidnapping
>murder

>>8225422
Marisa's Hakkero is a practical direct energy weapon. It shoots a very powerful laser, yet it is handheld and firing said laser does not vaporize the user. Not to mention the fuel source is mushrooms. These could be grown in the field, allowing field ammo replenishment.

Not to mention Marisa has an estimated power output on par with that of Japan. Given that the fuel for these Hakkero type devices is mushrooms, which are clean and renewable, reverse engineering Hakkero could give us an endless source of clean and renewable power.

Oh and did I mention? I'm Jewish.

/jp/ would just make her suck their cock, dude.

>>8224416

No, on the condition that she teaches me the way out and in of Gensokyo.

I'll let Marisa to steal my anal virginity if she wants.
And then I'll go with her to Gensokyo and I will become a familiar if necessary, I will become a Futa with a shota looking dick, a vagina and a frilly dress and hat, to prove my new adquired magical powers.

I was waiting for this to degenerate into passably-readable cybering.

What a waste. I'm disappointed.

>>8226136
Me and you both

>>8226151
>Me and you both

So... um... what are you wearing?
Ha ha just kidding, social interaction, even in an anonymous image board freaks me out

Why on earth would anyone resist?

>>8224416
That's not her modus operandi: You are moving -> You are a person -> You have something she wants/She does not like you -> MASTER SPAAAARK!!

I hope she boils me in a kettle until I become a potion

You gonna get stolen.

>>8226255
I am scared

Marisa is going to steal you and have sex with you until you impregnate her.

Then she'll take you to court and milk you for all the child support you can get when they force you to get a job.

>>8226284
No need to be scared.
It's not going to hurt that much.

>>8226294
Whatever, I can handle a knobby broomstick in my asshole better than you think

>>8226303
Well then, prepare yourself.

>>8226309
><

>>8226255
You gonna get loved tenderly.

You ask a silly question OP. Why would I resist anything from the best, loveliest Touhou?

Will I be taken to Gensokyo?

If yes then obviously!

>>8226431

Yes exactly, then I can see Reimu.

>>8226435
Oh no, you're not going anywhere.

>>8225361
>has about as much destructive capacity as an atomic bomb. Yes, even with danmaku rules.

No. Not at all.

>>8227598

That's true. Marisa has much more destructive power than anything human technology has achieved so far. Her Final Spark can, according to Zun, vaporize a mountain. No nuke comes close to that.

>>8227616
Unfortunately, danmaku rules negate any kind of destruction of that matter, otherwise Gensokyo would start looking like a wasteland from the countless times she and Reimu have fought over which spice to use in a meal.

You also have the sun-throwing bird that is also nullified by these rules and is now using a minimum of her powers to energize and manage a nuclear energy plant.

>>8227616
>No nuke comes close to that.

I assume you don't know what a nuke can do, or even close.

>>8224583
Have you ever considered about writing?

Your dry humour cracks me up sometimes /jp/. Never change.

>>8227682
I've written numerous things for /jp/ before.

Why do you ask?

>>8227653
I'm pretty sure there aren't many if any nukes that can flatten a mountain.

>>8229785
A nuke has an area of effect miles larger than a that, the Final Spark could only obliterate that which is the same size or smaller than itself, a nuke covers more, simple as that.

>>8224458
If you take that I can't be a wizard.

I don't really know that much about nukes, so I won't try to argue. But are we sure we're all aware he said "vaporize", not just "destroy"? Do we seriously have nukes that could not only melt a whole mountain, but cause it to turn into vapor?

>>8231221
We don't know what type of mountains he may be referring to.

A nuke doesn't ''flatten'' or ''vaporize'' things, just think of explosions, except not the ones in the movies, otherwise every action movie hero would be just a pile of guts considering how close they are to the ignition everytime.

We could easily make a nuke capable of flattening a mountain. However, the side effects are not worth it. Obliterating everything in a radius of 200 Km and sending tons of radioactive materials and dust into the atmosphere that will cause a nuclear winter aren't exactly productive in terms of war.

>>8231280
You have to admit, though, it's pretty cool that we technically have the firepower to obliterate a whole country.