/jp/ - Otaku Culture

wat

"Do you see what happens when you fuck a fairy in the ass?!"

OVER THE LINE

"Marisa, ya know, it's Rumia, so her deathbomb was a millisecond too late, big deal. It's just a game, man."

We Lebowski now.

>You ready to be fucked, man? I see you bombed your way into the Extra. Ayayayaya, man. Nitori and me, we're gonna fuck you up.

>Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

>>8188275

>Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking turtle.
>Ve vant ze money, Hakurei.
>Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze fairy.
>Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Hakurei.
>You don't HAVE the fucking fairy, dipshits! We know you never did!
>Are these the ghosts, Marisa?
>No, Alice, these women are poltergeists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
>Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Hakurei, or ve fuck you up.
>Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
>Hey, cool it Marisa.
>No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
>Her girlfriend gave up her toe!
>She though we'd be getting million yen!
>Iss not fair!
>Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING POLTERGEIST HERE, YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?
>Hey, cool it Marisa, hey look, pal, there never was any money. The big Miko gave me an empty donation box, so take it up with her, man.
>And, I would like my bloomers back.
>Are they gonna hurt us, Marisa?
>No, Alice. These women are cowards.
>Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.
>Fuck you.
>Hey, no, come on, Marisa. We're ending this thing cheap, man.
>No, what's mine is mine.
>No funny shtuff.
>Alright, alright, I've got four hundred yen, almost five...
>Hey, I got eighteen hundred.
>What's mine is mine.
>We fuck you ups, man. We takes the money.
>Come and get it.

>>8188326

Get a JOB, madam.

>Am I wrong?
>No you're not wrong.
>Am I wrong?
>You're not wrong, Marisa. You're just an asshole!
>Okay then.

Fuck it Miko, let's go bowling.

"REIMU, THE GATEKEEPER IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE!"

>Nice weather? You think we're having... nice weather? I guess you didn't lose the only one that meant anything in your life. I guess you don't feel burned out by the human misery and despair perpetrated by the lunarian scum that infest every pore of this decaying world, forcing you to guzzle cheap wine and cheaper sake to dull the pain that shatters your heart, rips at your soul, and keeps your days forever gray. What flavor Ice you got today?

>>8188556
>>8188433

They make such an adorable couple.

Way out east there was this lady I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Reimu Hakurei. At least that was the handle her loving parents gave her, but she never had much use for it herself. See, this Hakurei, she called herself "The Miko". Now, "Miko" - there's a name no woman would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Miko that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where she lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Gensokyo the "Land of Fantasy"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course I ain't never been to London, and I ain't never seen France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing Gensokyo, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd seen in any of them other places. And in Japanese, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in the early '90s - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a woman... I won't say a heroine, 'cause, what's a heroine? Sometimes, there's a woman. And I'm talkin' about the Miko here - the Miko from Gensokyo. Sometimes, there's a woman, well, she's the woman for her time and place. She fits right in there. And that's the Miko. The Miko, from Gensokyo. And even if she's a lazy woman - and the Miko was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Gensokyo County, which would place her high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a woman, sometimes, there's a woman. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.

>>8188786
That was beautiful man.

I hate the fucking eagles man

Best thread on /jp/

>Everybody knows you never go full baka.
>What do you mean?
>Check it out. Utsuho Reiuji, 'Hell Raven,' look baka, act baka, not baka. Killed gods, harnessed nuclear power. Bird-brain, sho'. Not baka. You know Shikigami Chen, 'Cat of Ill Omen.' Slow, yes. Baka, maybe. Cat ears on her head. But she charmed the pants off Ran and drove out an oni. That ain't baka. Suwako Moriya, "Moriya Shrine Goddess." Infantile, yes. baka, no. You went full baka, girl. Never go full baka. You don't buy that? Ask Kogasa Tatara, UFO Incident, "Pitiable Illegally Dumped Object." Remember? Went full baka, went home empty handed...

This... is cool.
Please continue

>>8188786
awesome

>Here is what it think of danmaku... It's like, when you play the danmaku, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose... But it's better than using mushrooms or alcohol - Because when you use mushrooms and alcohol, especially mushrooms, you always lose.

>Mokou: [the immortal interrupts a meeting between Kaguya and Eientei's rabbits] Ah ha ha ha ha ha oh hee hee ha ah ooh hee ha ha. And I thought my fires were bad.
>Kaguya: Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my minions here pull your head off.
>Mokou: How about a magic trick? [starts out a fire]
>Mokou: I'm gonna make this fire disappear. [slams Reisen's head into fire]
>Mokou: Ta-da! It's... it's gone.
[Reisen gets up in anger] Eirin: Sit. I want to hear her proposition.
>Mokou: Let's wind the clocks back a year. These shrinemaiden, witches and ghosts wouldn't dare cross any of you. I mean what happened? Did... did your balls drop off? Hmm? You see a girl like me...
>Kaguya: [interrupts] A maniac.
>Mokou: A girl... like me... Look, listen. I know why you choose to have your little group therapy sessions here in broad daylight. I know why you're afraid to go out at night; the Border youkai. You see, Yukari has shown Gensokyo your true colors, unfortunately. Reimu, she's just the beginning. And, and as for the little Inaba's so-called plan? Yukari has no jurisdiction. She'll find her, and make her squeal. I know the squealers when I see them and... [points at Tewi]

>>8192504
>Eirin: What do you propose?
>Mokou: It's simple: We, uh, kill Yukari. [everyone laughs]
>Tewi: If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?
>Mokou: If you're good at something, never do it for free.
>Eirin: How much you want?
>Mokou: Uh... the forest. [everyone laughs again]
>Kaguya: You're crazy.
>Mokou: I'm not. No, I'm not. If we don't deal with this now, soon little, uh, the princess here won't be able to get a mochi for her rabbits.
>Kaguya: Enough from the phoenix!
>Mokou: [reveals the inside of her shirt, which has five hundreds incendiary grenades with the pins attached to a thread tied to her finger] Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta! Let's not "blow" this out of proportion.
>Kaguya: You think you can burn us and just walk away?
>Mokou: Yeah.
>Kaguya: I'm puttin' the word out: 500 thousands mochi for this bird dead. A millions alive so I can teach her some manners first.
>Mokou: All right, so listen. Why don't you give me a call when you want to start taking things a little more seriously? Here's my spellcard. [leaves Everlasting "Phoenix's Tail" on the table and walks away]

LIVING HERE IN GENSOKYO
FIGHTING ALIENS FROM THE MOON
YOU GOTTA FIND FIRST GEAR
IN YOUR HISOUTENSOKU

YOU! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
I! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
WE! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
GODS! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!

NICE

>>8192504
>>8192507

You just made my day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QjuEWsdgEc