/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Oh FUCK it's bleeding it's bleeding all over the place shit shit shit

Get out of /jp/ and to a hospital.

Call 911, or whatever your local emergency number is.

I'm not sure how you could think that would be a good idea.

>>8172533
No, no fucking way. I haven't left the house in four years and you think I can just stroll into a fucking hospital while everyone is looking at me like some kind of fucking freak show or something? No, not going to happen.

>>8172535
Oh yeah, brilliant plan, then I get these emergency workers coming in seeing all of my figures and masturbation toys and stuff. No way.

>>8172536
This looked to be a slightly fun thread until you went and blew it.

You have to fap and cum into your ear!
The semen will cover up the wound, but at the same time dissapear over time when the wound has healed.

>>8172537
Well it's not that different from using a Q-tip or something I thought.

>>8172538
Emergency workers have to deal with drug addicts and people who literally live in their own shit. They're not going to give a shit. But if you really care, you can greet them at the door.

Thanks for making me think twice next time I dig super deep with a q-tip.

Don't they put cuts in ear drums to drain liquid? I don't see a problem here.

that sounds dangerous op. I use a modified plastic straw that came with a juicebox to pick my ears. the only problem is that the plastic has gotten a little bent and I can't find the same kind of juice anymore to get another straw. one time I made the mistake of trying to pick at an itchy spot while I was playing half life. I thought I had the game paused, but right when I had the thing stuffed in my head a headcrab zombie appeared on screen. I jumped and it hurt like hell but there wasn't any blood so I guess I was pretty lucky.

>I was cleaning out my ear with an unbent paperclip, and I think I just punctured my eardrum.

>Oh FUCK it's bleeding it's bleeding all over the place shit shit shit.

I'll go ask for advice in 4chan.

I'll ask in /jp/ where's a higher chance to find a medic or someone who's studying medicine.

Also, I spect to find help even in these times when the board is infested by trolls.

☑ Failure
☑ Be stupid
☑ Fail even more
☑ 0/10
☑ Mongolic for introducing sharp objects in your ear
☑ Again asking for advice in 4chan

>>8172544
I don't know if I'll even be able to hear the door. I can't fucking hear myself typing right now, I'm starting to get pretty fucking scared here.
>>8172547
Maybe but I don't know what I did, I can't hear a fucking thing. I was already deaf out of one ear because of an infection I had as a kid, if I just fucking ruined the other one... Oh god...

>>8172544
And also, five hundred pound people who have to be moved by lift and are so fat they have trouble breathing, dozens and dozens of vomiting drunks, people who beat their wives, and various things of that sort. You're far from the most "fucked up" person emergency medical personnel deal with on a regular basis. At most you'll be a funny story for a few hours.

>>8172547
If they do, it's with sterile equipment, and not dirty paper clips. That's a recipe for infection.

>>8172556
Call emergency medical services. If you can't hear them, give them your address and a description of what happened, and tell them that you can't hear anything. Then get off the fucking computer and go sit outside your door, or if that's too hard, prop open your door slightly and sit behind it and wait for the flashing lights to appear.

>>8172565
I.
Don't.
Want.
To.

Christ, even the thought of going to the grocery store is terrifying to me, what the fuck makes you think I'd want to subject myself to that?

>>8172571
Don't want to go out?

See>>8172555

I'm also a shut in. Luckily I'm not stupid enough to put myself in situations where I'm forced to go outside.

>>8172571
Enjoy your newfound deafness and possibly meningitis.

Cleaning out your ear with a bent paperclip.
Hit the ear drum.
Start bleeding.

Suddenly deaf in both ears?

All of /jp/ is posting in this thread right now and none are reporting.

>>8172573
It will probably get better on its own soon. It has to get better. If I can't even hear my mom at the door bringing me food once a week I'll starve to death.

>>8172578
He said he had an infection in the other. Keep up, anon.

>>8172571
Well i guess you are fucked then.
You wont die but you will lose your hearing on one ear, i hope the wound wont be infected.

That could lead to a slow and painful death.

>>8172578
See >>8172556

If you did pierce your eardrum you should feel quite bit of pain right now. Do you?

>>8172555
KoG-sama...

Apparently most perforated eardrums heal on their own eventually, but you will probably want antibiotics for it.

>>8172579
I reported his thread after it became clear that he was just blogging and not actually seeking advice.

>>8172586
Yes, but it's lessened a bit by the fact that I'm fucking scared because I can't hear a thing.

I'll suck your cock dude. I'll make you feel better.

>>8172571
If you go deaf in one ear it will harm your enjoyment of eroge and 2hu arrangements. Yes, people will probably judge you for being a smelly fat neckbeard or shaggy-haired twig of a man, but after this you can just retreat inside for a few more years and never have to see them again.

Chances are you are over thinking things and if you just shave and put on decent clothes no one will think to look twice at you.

>>8172592
Not the time, man.

>>8172597
You want to cuddle instead? That's fine too

>>8172591
Then chill for two hours or so. Make up your mind. Can be also that you blocked the ear way path with wax. It gets thinner the further in it goes from the opening. So it is fairly easy to block it with something like bent paperclip. Which is pretty stupid tool to clean ear with.

But here is a test. If you really must. Try to pour water inside, it wouldn't kill you even if it would reach the brain. If you did puncture your eardrum, you should feel considerable amount of pain as the water reaches the wound. If you didn't pierce it, no pain should be felt.

I'd suggest you to do the obvious though.

Why would you


Fuck

Why aren't you using a mimikaki?

protip: Don't put things in your ears that don't belong there.

I clean mine out with warm water every now and then.

I should have linked this shit to /sp/

>>8172686
You should have fucked off back to /sp/ and stayed there.

Why haven't you just killed yourself on webcam for us yet?

Oh good. I've always wanted to ask something:

Is it dangerous to sleep with earplugs in? The thing that sucks about sleeping through the day is that everyone outside is noisy. Dogs barking, garbage trucks, etc.

>>8172716
as long as they aren't mashed deep into your ear they should be fine

also Q-tips are not for cleaning the inside of your ear by the way you shouldn't use them there as they can cause the wax to go further into your ear and get stuck

>>8172716
Not unless your earplugs are shaped like nails/spikes/needles/unbent paperclips.

I sleep with earplugs in my ears all the time, i like to listen to lucid dreaming tracks or some hypnosis-ish ones.
They give me very very lewd dreams.

>>8172736

This sounds very nice.

>>8172736
>They give me very very lewd dreams.

I should try this.
My dreams are usually some chuuni shit, punching monsters through the wall, triple backflips into my Italian sportcar and running aforementioned monsters over and stuff. Fuck, I want some romance,

I can't remember my dreams, I don't what I'm doing wrong.

My most recent dream I dreamed that I woke up from the nap I was in and for some reason I was in the back seat of a car in the middle of a busy street which had rolled to stop and late to somewhere to a class that I would have instantly failed if I had missed.

I completely panicked, jumped out of the car while profusely apologizing to the angry motorists, piled into the front seat of the car and did a completely illegal U-turn while trying to figure out where I was from what I could see out the windows. Eventually I got to a small creek and woods on the other side of the bridge and attempted to figure out where the bridge was in relation to the places I knew.

Then I remembered that there was no creek or bridge for countless miles in any direction of where I live, no conceivable reason I would be alone and sleeping in the backseat of a moving car, I hadn't driven a car in months, and I wasn't late for any class at all.

>>8172757
I vividly remember my dreams right after I wake up.
It's often some freaky and horrific shit that I can't even begin to understand. It often makes me question my sanity. I've been injured in a dream several times as well, waking up and grabbing the injured area, having to turn on the lights and check for blood, since I still feel the dream pain.

My most recent dream I dreamed that I woke up from the nap I was in and for some reason I was in the back seat of a car in the middle of a busy street which had rolled to stop and late to somewhere to a class that I would have instantly failed if I had missed because I overslept.

I completely panicked, jumped out of the car while profusely apologizing to the angry motorists, piled into the front seat of the car and did a completely illegal U-turn while trying to figure out where I was from what I could see out the windows. Eventually I got to a small creek and woods on the other side of the bridge and attempted to figure out where the bridge was in relation to the places I knew.

Then I remembered that there was no creek or bridge for countless miles in any direction of where I live, no conceivable reason I would be alone and sleeping in the backseat of a moving car, I hadn't driven a car in months, and I wasn't late for any class at all. I had fallen asleep on the floor in the middle of the day.

>>8172774
>>8172785
If I could have dreams that were at least as half as entertaining as those on a regular basis, my life would be much better.

I did have a semi-dream today though; For some reason I had to go to a hardware store to buy some shit, but it was dark out and I have no car, so I started walking there. On my way there some random 3D girl showed up, with a faggy macbook, who accompanied me to the store. It was underground, and had some kind of VR thing, which we volunteered to try out. I don't know what the fuck happened next, but I was inside Halo: Reach, running around a level, runnig away from a monster of sorts. I got scared towards the end, which is when I woke up.

Fuck, I'm sorry for the shitty story.

OP here, the pain has subsided, but I still can't hear out of that ear. (So, I can't hear at all, since my other ear has been deaf since I was a child.) Am I fucked, or will the hearing come back eventually?

>>8173232
you should let this thread of made up bullshit die, that' what

>>8173232
it should regrow.

will take months thou.

>>8173248
Ah, thank god. Any suggestions for how I should have my mom let me know she's here when she brings me food? Obviously I can't just have her banging on the door until it grows back, but if I give her a key so she can let herself in, she might walk in on me masturbating or doing something embarrassing. Is there some way she can alert me to her presence outside without making a sound?

We have a board for stupid fucks like you,you know.

>>>/adv/

OH GOD JP NOW I WAS CLEANING MY EARS WITH MY GUN AND IT WENT OFF

>>8173267
Hey man, we all make mistakes. Besides, I'm more comfortable here than among the population there that probably wouldn't be as understanding of my lifestyle. I mean, wouldn't you rather ask your friends (assuming hypothetically you had some) for help than some random advice help line?

>>8173263
Here's a suggestion: Get off your ass and get your own fucking food.

>>8173294
You really think I'm capable of leaving the house and going to a grocery store to get food? Fuck you, you insensitive prick. If I could do that I would.

When you use shampoo or semen to finger yourself, how do you stop it from hurting the next day?

>>8173303
Use conditioner instead of shampoo if you can't get any lube, there's less stinging.

>>8173313
I will give it a try but I don't know.

I usually have lube. I masturbated with a tube of KY I found in my dad's bedside drawer he must use with my mum the other day. I nearly vomitted as I came but something about it was so good I just don't understand.

>>8173296
You don't need to go to a grocery store to get food, you moron. You could always order in bulk via the internet.

>>8173779
How? Also, don't I still have to answer the door for the delivery guy if I do that? So even besides the fact that I have to go interact with a stranger, I still can't hear the fucking door any more than I would if my mom was the one on the other side, so your suggestion is pointless.

If you're in the US go to the doctor anyway, THEY CANNOT TURN YOU AWAY FOR THE INABILITY TO PAY. If you cannot pay, THEY CANNOT FORCE YOU TO PAY IF YOU HAVE NO MONEY.

Although we don't have universal health care we do have laws to protect the poor.

>>8175536
Yeah, but they still come after you for the rest of your life to try to get payment, and harass you many times a day. And then there's the stress of just going to the doctor, even if it was paid for. No thanks.

>>8175539
Why would you care anymore? You will never hear them ringing your phone, nor you will hear them banging on your door, if you actually punctured your eardrum.

>>8173268
this made me laugh so hard

Perforated Eardrum Overview

The eardrum (tympanic membrane) is a thin, oval layer of tissue deep in the ear canal. It helps protect the delicate middle and inner ear from the outside.

It is called an eardrum because it looks and acts like a drum. The eardrum receives vibrations from the outer ear and transmits them to the small hearing bones (ossicles), of the middle ear.

Because it is so thin, the eardrum can be ruptured or punctured. The hole exposes the middle and inner ear to damage or infection.
When to Seek Medical Care

Call a doctor immediately if you suspect you or someone you know has a ruptured eardrum and any of the following occur:

An uncontrolled spinning sensation
Difficulty walking
An abrupt change in hearing
A change in the ability to taste foods
You accidentally put your ear under water
The following symptoms suggest a potentially life-threatening complication and require immediate medical evaluation:

Stiff neck
High fever
The worst headache of your life
Numbness or weakness in face, arms, or legs
Difficulty talking or opening mouth
Continued vomiting
Pain or swelling behind the ear
Abrupt change in vision
Difficulty staying awake

>>8175539
NO THEY DON'T, NO THEY FUCKING DON'T

Seriously, when I was unemployed I got sick and was puking all day which is majorly bad for me because I'm hypoglycemic which can mean coma or death.

I went to the emergency room. They had to shoot glucose directly into my veins. Total cost $1300. I paid NOTHING because after my hospital visit I got the bill, went back to the hospital, showed them I was unemployed and poof, the money I owed VANISHED.

Seriously they cannot and will not collect money for hospital/doctor visits for the inability to pay.

>>8175571
>implying OP didn't got this all ,even before the accident

>>8175571
tl;dr it'll probably heal, but if you suffer the symptoms above you'll probably go permanently deaf or possibly die without medical treatment.

Probably in agonising constant pain that makes you claw your own ear off and smash your own head into the wall until your skull shatters and ruptures into your brain. It might be a good idea to see a doctor before you go mad from the sensation of blinding streaks of white-hot needles being smashed into your brain through your eardrum with a warhammer.

Anyway, keep it clean and dry to avoid infection.

I can't believe I answered this properly.

>>8175583
It's been more than 12 hours already, and he has not posted anything about any of those symptoms.

So far, he has only posted about not being able to hear.

>>8175572
Man, that's some expensive glucose. I mean, even factoring in the work costs... Nope I'm not seeing it.

>>8175594
inbefore same guy with
"OH GOD /jp/ I PUNCTURED MY ASSHOLE WITH A FORK"

>>8175590
That's a shame. We might have been able to force enough willpower into him to have gone to seek medical help or watched him type messages that slowly degenerate into illiteracy, each one pleading more pitifully for help than the last as the pain rips the sanity from his mind.

It'd have been fun to watch, either way.

Well if you are deaf you may get more disability funds from the Government.

Go to a Hospital, Anon. Quickly. Be as brave as you can be.

>paperclip
poor as HELL

>>8175598
I've seen worse.

>"Help me /tg/! i watch porn while modelling, i accidently glued an imperial guardsman head and torso to my penis when i thoughtlessly rubbed myself and did not notice the pieces temporarily sticking to my hand. how do i undo superglue?"

The guy actually posted pictures of the guardsman stuck to his dick.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4956404/

>>8175610
>Superglue and cotton have a nasty chemical reaction that produces massive amounts of heat. We're talking enough to cause burns, and if you've used enough glue, you could light your undies ON FIRE.

brb supergluing cotton

>>8175610
Chances are good that this was the same OP

OP, you're gonna need antibiotics no matter what. If the fucking thing's punctured you're going to get an inner ear infection which is very fucking serious if left untreated.

Antibiotics aren't that hard to get, though. Maybe you could have a family member get them for you?

It's gonna have to be some industrial strength shit, though.

>>8175610
That is pinnacle of fail.

>>8175610
The rest of this thread should be about this.

You can get special instruments for ear cleaning in Chinatown and shit, if you look hard. Much better than using a paperclip.

Just take it easy, your eardrum should seal back up by itself. Go to a doctor if it gets infected (if you're truly dirt poor, you can buy antibiotics used for fish-tanks at aquarium shops that would work).

Putting things in your ear?

I didn't think /jp/ was this retarded.

I THINK I PUNCTURED MY FUCKING EARDRUM!
BETTER GO TO /jp/ AND POST ABOUT IT!

>>8175700
Ear cleaning is practically a /jp/ cornerstone.