/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Once you guys have a son to feed you will understand what real problems are

>>8126193
Joke's on you, I'm sterile!

/jp/sie? I thought we were /jp/edos.

>>8126198
/jp/tard here.

>>8126193
Why? You just go to the store and buy food. I do that now, actually.

>>8126201
I have to work, go to college and change diapers.

You don't understand my suffering.

>>8126193

You're a funny guy, I like you.

>>8126193
/jp/? Kids?
Come on now, I thought you knew better than that.

>>8126198

It's /jp/er, only newfriends trying to fit in use /jp/sie.

>>8126193
The users on /jp/ are around 18, you can't expect much from them.

>>8126193
>having kids

>>8126208
http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Jp

>This videogame requires my attention, I wish there was someone else here to play it for me.

>I've had this HHD for 5 years now, I'm worried about it failing.

>I'm balding pretty badly, I'll have to order a wig to crossdress now.

>I've been waiting years for the Segagaga translation, my life is hell.

>>8126205
I told you about the 3D bro!

>>8126215
>If you want to fit in, just put "sage" in the email field and type "Reported" in every thread, as often as needed. A fun game is to see how long it takes for others to reply! If you want to make people angry, mistype sage or put sage in the name field instead.
lol

>>8126224
forgot my sage

>>8126205
But I've been to university and get my Master's degree this year. I made a lot of money this summer. Why did you have kids before getting your life in order?

>>8126220
>HHD
what

>>8126220
>I'm balding pretty badly, I'll have to order a wig to crossdress now.
Oh god, that does sound horrible. How can you live with that?

>>8126226

>>8126229
You don't understand.

>>8126193
I met a guy who had a child once, made me realize how lucky I am to be forever alone.

A boy died in 1932 by a homicidal murderer. He buried him in the ground when he was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried him. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little boy. In the middle of the night he will be on your ceiling. He will suffocate you like he was suffocated. If you post this, he will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

>>8126235
Face it, you made bad life choices and your situation is one of your own construction.

>>8126235
Unless you got raped or somehow tricked into providing for a child you had no way to know was being conceived, stop complaining about messing up your own life.

>>8126239
Why do young girls around 18 love the fact they are having a kid? They are throwing away the best years of their lives and the boyfriend/father is like....FUCK.

>>8126230

whoops

>>8126234

It was always going to happen, nothing I can really do about it, it doesn't really bother me too much. I've haven't felt like crossdressing for a while, but when I do I'll just grab a nice cheap wig for it.

>>8126239
One of my old friends who dropped out of high school had a kid at 20.

I didn't like vegetables but now that pizza is one I can finally eat them.

>>8126253

>>8126251
It has always depressed me that as time goes by, you can only go further and further away from being a little girl. Starting to bald must be one of those milestones that makes you realize how you'll never be young enough again.

>You have no idea what to order at a fast food restaurant so you stand as far away from the counter as possible but accidentally make eye contact with a clerk and they start asking you if you're ready to order

I removed the battery. Problem avoided.

>>8126258
>It has always depressed me
Don't be depressed. You won't become a little girl, but you have a shot at becoming a wizard.

>>8126261
I still remember this one time I was buying eggs, and there was this guy stacking the shelves there, and I was just going to ponder for a long time whether to buy an economy pack with 1.5 dozens egg, or half a dozen. Then the guy moves away, assuming I was trying to reach the eggs, and I just have to hurry up and pick some eggs because I can't let him keep waiting while I ponder what to pick. Bastard forced me to make an uninformed choice.

>>8126275
Not me, I've sucked a dick once

I don't regret it though.

>>8126261
"Wh- N- S- Yes, I'd like to umm-"
*Gets closer to the counter as slowly as possible to gain a few milliseconds for the unconscious AutoPilot_Social.dll to kick in*
*Puts on a confident expression*
"I'll have [whatever first comes to mind, disregarding price or taste]".

>>8126288
Blowjobs don't count.

>>8126292
yay

>Thanksgiving
>family members asking you nothing but personal questions
>"Do you have a girlfriend or you just playing the field? I bet you have all the girls chasing you"

SUCK

MY

COCK

DUDE

>I can't find this fucking rar of manga I want, I'm going to have to read this one chapter online, dear God I want to strangle this fucking 'scanlator' for only using one shitty upload link for this file.

>Why is /jp/ so shitty dammit? I just want to post cute Touhou images ;_;

Sometimes the advertisements on TV are louder than the actual program.

These people keep misusing the quote function on a website I frequent, I'm seriously losing sleep over this.

>>8126309
Sometimes? They always do that. It's to get your attention up. Wouldn't want you to just ignore those advertisements.

>>8126302
This is the worst.

>The torrent for the VN I'm interested in took an hour to find
>The download speed doesn't exceed 100kb/s

>The DDL for the VN I'm interested in took an hour to find
>I have to enter the captcha in JDownloader every time after a part is done

>>8126320
I haven't slept in weeks because of this.

>in the bookstore with friends
>they find the manga section and start making jokes about "Japanmation" and cartoon porn
>laugh with them, dying inside

>>8126302
This was just moments ago:
>At grandparents' house
>Grandmother wants to talk
>"Y'know, that cashier girl from the corner store asked me whose the car was. I told her it's just the family's. She then asked me if you [I frequently go to that store when I'm here] would take her for a ride. Of course I didn't tell her you can't drive. Instead I said you... don't go out much. Maybe you should go buy some water. Be sure to tidy up your hair. Those girls from that store always watch you".

I honestly don't even know if she's making it up. It's sad either way.

>I love drinking tea and playing games, but I have to get up from my games to get more tea and use the toilet
>I keep wanting to exercise but then I'd have to stop playing games
>I want to play games but shitty little interweb forums full of normalfags and shitposters and DEMONS DON'T INTO REAL are distracting me.
>I want to make a game but I don't think I know enough about games to make my own game so I just play more games.
>My headphones don't work sometimes. I need to buy new ones but no job, no money.
>I haven't properly covered my window to keep the fucking sun out
>faggot boys on the internet keep calling my problems first world problems. I'm terribly sorry your faggot ass has to pay child support for shaniqua's 12 children, but see...my problems are the only ones worth me caring about.

>>8126356
At least you have 'friends', dude.

>>8126215

>/jp/ has no real Japan-related content. This enrages Japanophiles who, after looking at the board's name and its rules, believe /jp/ should be about pinku bento boxes. When they realize it's filled with animu, ronery, Visual Novels, Touhou and TYPE-MOON, they proceed to collectively whine about how much the board sucks because no one wants to talk about the glorious country of Nippon.

Can you spot the contradiction?

>skipped lunch to keep working when the office is empty
>load up the ten desires songs on youtube
>work in an almost frenzied state to true administrator
>suddenly my boss comes back from lunch
>"what the hell are you listening to?"
>"it sounds like a manga movie soundtrack"

Why is /jp/ such a pathetic fag circle jerk? You guys are such whiners but you don't do anything about your problems. That's all you do, all day long. I don't care if you aren't normalfags or whatever, thats for the best, but whining about everything all day long every day is just annoying.

>>8126432
>manga movie soundtrack
>>8126256

>>8126462
You're whining right now faggot.

>that feel when you drank a whole 12 cans of soda without noticing when watching your anime

>Run out of soda and your dad buys you a new one, but it's diet.

>>8126503
>>8126523

Fuck holy fatass.

The pizza tracker complaint is actually pretty legit.

>>8126523
What is it with parents and not being able to see the difference between diet soda and normal soda? The labels are completely different, there's no way you just can't see the difference.

>>8126523
fucking dad

>>8126503
People still drink soda?

>>8126292
Do they count as one of your recommended servings of fruit and veg though?

>>8126546
I'm not sure why you think I'm fat just because I drink soda. I'm 130 pounds & 5'11".

I can't taste the difference between diet and normal.

I can't be bothered to do the washing up, so I'll just have a few bags of crisps for tea today.
I've got 14 half-finished VNs and I'm downloading more.
My online friends want me to play games with them that I don't want to play.
I need new batteries for my controllers.
Our fucking team project bacame just me and 4 designers, since the rest of the programming team quit. And they didn't give me their code either, so I'm having to do the whole fucking thing from scratch.
That dude downstairs is playing drums loudly and someone down the hall is playing loud dance music.
I caught a cold. I have a headache and runny nose.
I can't play skyward sword because I don't have wii motion plus.

>>8126304
http://www.mangatraders.com/

I'm live in a third world country, be glad you're not me.

Maybe the rest of the world should stop being so nigger

>>8128904
There are more niggers in north america than in all of south america and middle east combined.

>I would give everything I own and sell myself into slavery if it meant I could be female.
>mfw this isn't even an option because war funding and corporate bullshit take priority over medical research.

The second one should say, "my life isn't terrible so I have to feel bad when people make stupid image macros about how it isn't."

>>8128937
How about this.
You become my slave and i drug you to the point where your mind breaks and you think you are the little girl?

You will never return to normal and live the rest of your life in a dream state.

>find a fantastic doujin/eromanga while fapping
>download it and have to wait 5 minutes
>it's not translated
>either fap to it without understanding it, search for another download and wait another grueling 5 minutes, or use exhentai and deal with every page loading slow as hell

>>8128943
Not that guy but..
If you let me wear a skirt i would gladly accept such a fate.

>burn tongue on hot tea
>thirsty but have to wait for it to cool
>can't taste it well anyway due to burnt tongue

>>8128943
How would a NEET have the kind of connections needed to get such heavy stuff? How could you be sure of how I'd feel under that shit?

Meds alone won't fix me and I'm pretty certain that they can't even make me believe either.

But god damn do I want to believe. If I was shorter, younger, had access to hormone pills and short skirts I'd go for it in a heartbeat.

>>8128943
tehe~
i would love that..
my fantasy has always been for a nice strong onii sama to lock me up in his basement and give me female hormones..

I have an erection and want to masturbate but I have to pee really bad so I have to wait till my erection goes down so I can pee and get back to this. Why is life so hard?

>>8128993
you can stand about 1 metre away from the toilet and then pee like that when you have a boner. It's pretty cool..

>>8129001
My penis stands 90 degrees up when erect, so then I would pee on my face and chest.

>>8129001
>>8128993
You can also sit down on the toilet to pee and not be a barbarian.

I wouldn't mind training a /jp/er to be my little girl, but I would probably throw her away when she gets too old to be cute in any way.

>>8128990
You really need a doctor to monitor you on hormones or you will die

>>8129013
Am I the only one that does this? Or is there others who do this because standing up and peeing can lead to you peeing outside the toilet pan?

>>8129013
You can sit and pee with an erection? How small is your penis?

>>8129019
I never stand up and pee. I like having a cozy moment of rest on my filthy toilet.

>>8128993
I hate that. Sometimes I even have to pee 3 times before it's safe to finish (I don't dare to finish if I feel any kind of urge to pee, I don't want to experience that pain ever again).

>>8129019
Stop peeing in pans. That's silly.

The lolies are scared of me and my 7yo cousin told me that she thought I was weird and that she hoped that I died. I didn't even do anything weird. She was crying and I offered her a dollar.

My existence is awful and an affront to all that is holy. Fuck /jp/, I'm going back to my VNs.

>>8129019
Unless we are a samefag there is at least two people.

>>8129020
How much a fatass would you need to be in order to not angle your penis downwards while sitting?

>>8126220
>>I'm balding pretty badly, I'll have to order a wig to crossdress now.

Ahhhh, fuck I've actually looked for wigs for this very purpose. Now I feel bad.

>>8129021
It's nice to see that I'm not the only one that does it. If it weren't for a certain incident back in the day, I would still be standing up and peeing like any other guy. But it's nice to sit down while doing it... makes me nice and comfortable.

>>8129027
No, I'm a different anon. But I had to ask because it was stated earlier and I thought I'd never be alone again.

>>8126209
>around 18
You mean mid-to-late 20s. The shitposters are around 18.

>>8129020
This. If I sit down and pee with an erection, I have to jam it under the lip of the bowl, which causes it to be at such an angle that I can no longer pee.

>>8129028
Jesus christ.

>>8129028
lmao

>>8129027
I don't think it has anything to do with weight. The distance from your sitting position to the tip of your erect penis should remain the same regardless of your weight.

>>8129036
Shitposter here!
I'm 46 years young and lovin' it. I'm 18 at heart though!

>>8129036
Yeah, I'm 24.

At least 18 months or so ago it was more or less confirmed most of us were around this age with a few younger people. Not so sure about now.

>>8129045
Unless your thighs are too large to allow for that kind of movement. You'd need a really flat toilet (or a tapeworm for a penis) for it not to fit if you angle it down.

But to be honest it is one of the reasons in general why I hate having a penis. Always in the way.

I pee too often to ignore the convenience of standing while I pee, but sometimes, especially if I have a lot saved up, it can feel really good to just sit back and let everything go. Only complaint is that I can't lean back on the toilet, that would complete the experience.

>>8129056
>I can't lean back on the toilet
Sounds like a shitty toilet.

Am I the only person here who pisses in the backyard while smoking a cigarette and listening to music? That is the way gods must piss. Especially when drunk. It is the best.

>>8129028
>I didn't even do anything weird. She was crying and I offered her a dollar.
Offering children money to alleviate their emotional issues is typically classified as "weird", Anon. You should probably rethink your actions.

>>8129062
I do that as well, but not while drunk. If I'm going to get drunk, I'm going to get so drunk that I can't walk, so I just stick the whiskey bottle up my ass and be done with it.

>>8129065
Offer her candy and an inappropriately long hug instead.

>>8129062
I don't like peeing in public

>>8129062
I wish I had a house. I wish I could have a job and pay for my own apartment.

My problems consist of money but I would be happy if I could just have my own apartment and internet.

>>8129062
Mr. High-and-Mighty with his fancy backyard. I barely have a window.

>>8129053
I think you underestimate the size of my fully erect penis. I have to lift my ass off the seat if I want it to fit in without touching the bowl.

>>8129071
I would, but my family doesn't allow me around them, adults included, anymore. I think they are ashamed of me.

Life is so sad.

>>8129081
Don't worry anon, it's probably more about who you are than what you do, so you can't really fault yourself for it.

>>8129075
Well, I live with my parents. As an alcoholic, at 27 and I haven't had a job in 11 years. So it isn't "all good" so to speak.

>>8129081
You must have done something for people to react that way, and you're probably too autistic to realize what creepy things you've done.

I need to wake up at 6am every day, because there is no other way to get to my 10am classes unless I carpool with my stepdad.
I took out loans instead of using federal aid money, because I was too scared to talk in the financial aid office for help processing.
Since I still owe money, I can't register for next semester and the deadline is the end of the month. Won't be able to attend next semester probably. Even if I did graduate and got a 2 shitty 2 year degree, I'm terrified of actually going out and working. Wish I could just stay at home and do someone indoors and never having to leave. Only solace I have is empty labrooms early in the morning, and everyone that was in my program dropped out, so classroom is only 7 people myself included.

>>8129093
I'm pretty sure that it's because I accidentally left my computer on one night, with irfanview slideshowing it's way through my toddlercon folder, and my father came in and saw it. Things got pretty awkward after that.

This sounds like a stupid trivial shit, but yesterday I accidentally slam the door on my face and the nose frame on my glasses was bent and now the fitting is driving me crazy. It's 4am here and I can't sleep because of it.

Do the shops fix that for free? I'm thinking of buying another pair, but they must be exactly the same as this one.

>>8129121
Normals are so judgmental about shit like that. Fucking prudes.

>>8129117
I'm going for 4 years (no major declared, in my third year but behind a few credits and failing) but, are you me?

>>8126410
>animu not Japan related
>implying there's a lot of anime threads on /jp/
>learning Japanese unthinkable when you play visual novels every day

>>8126503
high fructose corn syrup
phosphoric acid
Why do you hate you body?

>>8126410
>animu not Japan related
>implying there's a lot of anime threads on /jp/
>learning Japanese unthinkable when you play visual novels every day

>>8126503
high fructose corn syrup
phosphoric acid
Why do you hate your body?

>>8129117
That sounds like a very bad idea. What will you do when you can't repay the loans? Default/declare bankruptcy? Surely you haven't mortgaged your house or something like that that you would stand to lose it if you can't pay your debt?

>>8129149
I don't own a single thing. There is absolutely nothing they could take from me if I default. I'm already 3 months late on some deferment plans too. They haven't done anything, so I haven't worried about it.

>>8129121
>I'm pretty sure that it's because I accidentally left my computer on one night, with irfanview slideshowing it's way through my toddlercon folder, and my father came in and saw it. Things got pretty awkward after that.
>irfanview slideshowing it's way through my toddlercon
Yup, that'll do it.

>>8129154
Bad idea to consider defaulting on student loans - you cannot ever get rid of them even through bankruptcy. Even if you have nothing now, they can (and will) garnish future wages and/or social security.

>>8129222
>you cannot ever get rid of them
WRONG. Break your spine and become permanently disabled and they will forgive them.

It isn't as if you used your body much anyway.

>>8126209
>The users on /jp/ are around 18

Wrong, little boy. /jp/ is 3 years old, and everyone was 20 back when /jp/ was made. /jp/ers must be in their mid-20's by now.

>>8126224
I was the one that wrote that. I'm glad to know that people read it.

>>8129282
They will secretly be making /jp/ a better place, while thinking they're trolling.

Wonderful.

>>8129154
You can prolong it for a very long time, just expect to be hounded, have your neighbors called, any family, etc. Also, the interest will be insane and over a number of years will multiply how much you owe ridiculously until you probably will never be able to pay it off, and as mentioned already, garnishment of wages/social security/tax refunds will be the norm.

If you can get yourself declared permanently disabled however and pass 3 years of scrutiny/doctor's evaluations, etc. it can be wiped.

I remember there was a time I went into these threads just to feel better about myself.

Now I relate all too well.

>>8129262
Last night there was a thread full of people claiming to be 19-20. It shocked me, but it seems we have some youngsters in our midst.

No, the federal goverment can consolidate your loans into one even after you've gone into default. Then you choose the income sensitive plan and keep going to school. If you're in default on another (private) loan, never talk to them or their collection agencies until you can pay the entire amount. If they call, hang up. Give them the number of a $20 disposable phone if they ever need a number. They will be able to garnish wages eventually so you don't need to pay extra.

>>8129291
Announcing your reports is hardly the key to improving the board.

Are longnecks or 2L softdrink bottles superior to piss into?

OP's pic is an edit.

Here is the REAL one.

>>8129356
Any wide mouth bottle you can reseal, I would think.

>>8129366
haha, oh wow

>>8129366
'sup KoG?

>>8129366
protip: any piece of material whatsoever that mentions kog in any fashion or format is automatically kog regardless of the circumstances.

sup kog

>>8129397
I find it frightening that KoG knows /jp/ so well.

>>8126193
If you have a child, in the future when you're old at least there will be someone who MIGHT take care of you.

What are you faggot going to do when you're all old and wrinkly and need someone to help you bathe and walk you to bed. If you have no kids you're going to be fucked like a $10 prostitute.

>>8129403

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9Kf0Cft2oM

>>8129408
Who the hell would want to live that long?

>>8129408
I won't live long enough to be old and wrinkly.

>>8129408
Why would I even want to live if I can't do what I love anymore?

>>8129408
Shut the fuck up.

>>8129411
>>8129412
>>8129415

>implying any of you autists have the balls to off yourselves when you get old enough

>>8129418
>>8129423
from now on, anybody not saging this thread is kog. if you see a non-saged post, please don't reply to it, kthx.

>>8129423
You're right. I'm too busy using my balls on you're mom.

>>8126280
Why you so beta?
Next time that happens to you, let the guy get away so you can choose, get close as to make your choice but then back away and leave, then come back a minute later while he's stacking the rest and ask him to move to let you make your choice. LIKE A CLERK BOSS

>>8129408
Keyword: MIGHT

It only depends if you do a good enough job which most parents do not do. You'd be lucky to get sent to a retirement home. And in that case you can just pay for it yourself and if you can't then you must've been wasting your money and you wouldn't even be able to support a child anyway.

>>8129423
Some other board is apparently missing their local idiot.

>>8129433

I live in a truck, and I park it wherever there is WiFi

>>8129431

>>8126302
Tell them that the field is too ripe and you're looking for something less mellow.

>>8126391
>sure shitting on floor is convenient but the stench after a week or two becomes quite unbearable and all these maggots crawling on the floor are becoming a nuisance and make me slip when I want to go to the kitchen for some hot pockets

>>8129430
Also you're more liable to get fucked over even if you do care about you child. If you fuck even a little you might not even get a retirement home. You'll end up paying for you child for it's fuckups and if it ends anywhere remotely like us then we're even more fucked than not having a child.

>>8129374
>wide mouth
>reseal[able]

You piss like an old lady. I piss into unsealed narrow mouth bottles.

Only one more hour until the best moment of the day, then I can finally get some sleep.

>>8129452
And not only that, this would imply that you have got together with a female out of desperation. This is even worse than being with a female under the guise of love because she knows she can use you if need be. Face it, it's no longer an era where simply having a child means an extra farmhand and almost guaranteed caretakers when you are old. You'd actually pretty stupid to have a child unless you're really, really financially stable which many of us are not. And if you are financially stable there's no goddamn point in having a child to take care of you when you could pay other people to do it.

>>8126704
>I can't play skyward sword because I don't have wii motion plus.
I know that feel. I could just go to the store and buy one but even though I have a steady income that I don't spend on anything I'm so used to pirating everything that I'm hesitant to pay to be able to play a video game. I'm thinking of getting it online for a lot cheaper but then I'd have to wait for it to be delivered. I don't know what to do.

>explain my sister about the mlp following as of late
>she ask me whether they're pedophiles
>"IT'S A LITTLE GIRLS CARTOON, NOT A CARTOON ABOUT LITTLE GIRLS! FUCK!"
>she doesn't buy it, infers that I watch the show too
everything has been awkward ever since. Funny thing is, I don't think I'm a pedo at all.
:(

>>8126552
Seriously. They do it on purpose.

>>8126552
>>8130471

It's their subtle way of telling you that you're a fatass and you need to lose some weight.

>>8126432
best pasta ever

>>8129491
Who are you quoting?

>>8130721
I have no idea dude

Really

>>8129491
Your sister is pretty fucked up.

I don't understand why won't meido erase this shitty thread

I know he is here right now.