/jp/ - Otaku Culture

It's pretty horrifying, the whole thing is a ticking time bomb until she realizes how you tricked her into going out with you and attempting to get sex in then before she realizes how socially awkward you are.

Kind of like having a moody, needy parasite draining you of energy and money.

It feels good for like 10 minutes everyday.

bag, sand, etc...

Feels like getting your dick rubbed while riding a bike.

Probably really annoying, unless the girl was somehow actually an okay person. Then I imagine it being quite nice most of the time. Sure, you might fight but you'll still have fond memories to sleep by.

>mfw I realize that's HIS hand

>>7969722
Why did you have to break my illusion?

>>7969702
That about sums it up. Is occasional sexual gratification and better social status worth sacrificing the vast majority of your happiness? Your choice to make.

Not every person is the same, so you can't speak for every one of them. If you believe in all girls are the same backstabbing sluts/whatever negative notion 4chan created, just because everyone here says so, then you're just a hopeless sheep and deserve to die alone.

>>7969738
>just because everyone here says so

I've hated women long before I started browsing /jp/. Fuck off you pretentious cunt.

>>7969738
NAWALT

Like a bag of sand.

>>7969738
I believe this is a fact because every "good" girl I know/knew turned into one. I don't blame women for being sluts/bitches/etc. I blame everyone equally but since I can't do anything about it I will spend my time alone on /jp/.

>>7969751
Oh really? Then you're just a closed-minded faggot that deserve to die alone anyway.

>>7969738
I used to think this isn't true but then even my closest female friend who was pretty much the kindest person on earth turn into a complete whore.

>>7969738
>deserve to die alone
I didn't know this was a privilege, but I can't complain since it was so easy to earn.

>>7969762
Enjoy dying at a party or wherever you plan to kick the bucket.

>>7969762
You say that as if I give a fuck about the opinion of some dumb whore.

>>7969766
I never went to highschool, nor have I ever participated in parties, clubs, or any "normalfag" stuff. I also do not drink and highly against smoking. Go fuck yourself you intellectual flea.

>>7969762
Only a girl would defend other girls. And it would be fine if you were a girl...only, you're still not acting like you even belong on /jp/ so kindly get out of /jp/.

Girls are disgusting.

>>7969776
I've probably been a part of /jp/ a lot longer than you. I've been "/jp/" even before the split. Remove yourself from this board, you camouflaging newborn.

>>7969788
Then you should know this board is full of people who despise 3D women, so posting things like that make you seem like an idiot, oh wait, you are. Take your 3D love to /soc/.

I find it hilarious that the only insult women can come up with is something relating to sexual or relationship experience. Even when relationships are the #1 cause of misery.

>>7969791
No, life is the #1 cause of misery.

>>7969793
Nah brah, you're the idiot. And just goes to show how new you are. After all, you still don't get it.

>>7969776
I was unaware that coming to /jp/ meant that you had to agree with majority opinion in all instances.

>>7969791
I would rank poverty and financial hardship significantly higher than that.

>>7969788
I don't care which of you came here first (though there's a 99% chance you're lying anyway, especially given that you're a female), the point is you're another retarded feminist that belongs on >>>/adv/. I think you should go.

MOST PATHETHIC BOARD IN ALL THE INTERNET

>>7969800
Google it, shmuck. There's really no reason for a man to enter a relationship unless he's deperate to get laid. Even then he'd be better off with a hooker that consumes much less time and money.

>>7969803
Do you honestly believe that most people here like 3D women? Really?

As if I'd ever be around someone like that, nevermind all the backstabbing, the mind-games, the mental gymnastics to justify cheating, etc.

Pic very related.

But most of the girls whom I knew all throughout school ( I was with the same group of kids through kindergarten to senior year in HS) turned into bitches and whores. Married with kids and or divorced and single mothers.

>>7969805
Why should I? I speak fairly for all and /jp/ labels me as a woman/feminist/etc when I only say the truth. At least one of you guys believe in space aliens and ghosts don't you? There's no reason not to keep an open mind that the "right" girl does exist out there. I doubt any of you have ever tried noticing them, you being here in /jp/ already speaks for that.

>>7969813
Ah, this pic again.

Thanks /cgl/ for making me want to stay a perma-virgin. I will NEVER perform oral on a female.

>>7969805
She is probably the same one that is always here, and keeps posting till threads get deleted.

>>7969818
http://www.google.com/search?q=cause+of+misery

Sorry, didn't find it.

>>7969813
I don't even need to open the open to feel the need to throw up from that image anymore.

If you don't see that girls have carte blanche to do pretty much whatever they please, you're really unobservant.

A girl can get away with anything, up to, including and beyond murder. There's always some excuse that they can pull out that exonerates them. She bitches you out for no reason? Well, clearly you offended her. She cheats on you? Well, obviously you aren't satisfying her sexually, or maybe she just had a few too many beers to think straight. She beats you with a curtain rod? Well, you pushed her too far, dogg.

Even in benign things they get away with everything. A female fetishist is exotic and sexy. A male fetishist is disgusting and pervy. A fat lady is curvy. A fat guy is fat. A skinny girl is petite. A skinny guy is a fairy. Hell, most of the foreveralones on 4chan want a "shy, nerdy girl". There is zero demand for shy, nerdy boys I'll tell you that for fuckin' sure.

>>7969823
I never read it because I didn't feel like disgusting myself by reading about vagina malfunctions and I'm not sure why you did.

>>7969810
Cool samefag.

Here's more truthful images about 3DPD.

I do not see what the big deal about sex is anyway. It in now way betters your life or makes you money.

>>7969818
>Do you honestly believe that most people here like 3D women? Really?
Yeah, in fact I do. You must be a part of those "3dpd" full retard movements. Just like a good little sheep that you are. There's been countless times where anons here have admitted to being able to appreciate real women and having the desire to be hugged by a real girl. And unless you're new, retarded and or blind, idol threads have long existed here since the early era of /jp/.

>>7969824
Dammit! This is why /jp/ hates girls. You're being an annoying, catty bitch, just because someone doesn't agree with you. The majority doesn't agree, deal with it or leave, preferably leave.

>>7969828
Morbid curiosity and boredom.

take it easy

>>7969832
Every poster in this thread is being a catty bitch.

We should just all move to /cgl/ or something.

>So, to men who have been through the wringer, when a woman says “not all women are like that,” what we hear sounds like “not all chambers in that revolver are loaded.” The suggestion, of course, is that because not all women are like that, we might as well give it another try.

>If somebody handed you a revolver with three loaded chambers and three empty ones and said, “go ahead and aim this at your head and pull the trigger — not all the chambers are loaded,” would you go along with the suggestion? Of course not. It would be sheer folly.

>>7969820
Yeah, I was thinking that too. There's nobody else here autistic enough to seriously try pushing feminist bullshit on /jp/.

>>7969822
>cause of misery
Do you know how to Google? Try using a more specific term.

>>7969824
Speaking fairly? You're the one that got butthurt and started saying everyone "deserved to die alone" because they didn't want a relationship. What the fuck do you care if we don't?

PS: I'm not claiming that literally 100% of girls are stupid whores devoid of all moral values, but 99.999% of them are. I'm not going to waste decades searching for a "good" girl when I barely even care to begin with.

>>7969826
SO FUCKING TRUE, take this pic for instance.

Abortions after partying, drinking while being pregnant, etc, and people are still nonplussed by it.

>>7969834
But there is something you don't get. Most people here want a 2D girl because of the degree of personality that 2D girls have. 3D girls have a completely different degree than 2D, which makes them basically unwanted. Wanting to be hugged by a real girl means nothing because they are projecting the 2D personality spectrum onto 3D, which cannot be done. IE, even if you meet the perfect 3D girl, they will never be as perfect as you can make them in 2D. It's a fact of life. I'm a girl and even I know this.

>>7969844
>If somebody handed you a revolver with three loaded chambers and three empty ones and said, “go ahead and aim this at your head and pull the trigger — not all the chambers are loaded,” would you go along with the suggestion?
Do I get a prize if the chamber is empty?

check out my image macro

>>7969832
You don't have power over me, over what I say, or what I think. How about, you kindly fuck off because I don't need to conform to what the "majority" of this board thinks. I go where I want to go. Also, here's a mindfuck for you: I am a man, and I am chauvinistic towards a lot of things. I simply enjoy watching your emotions being so easily played by a different mind.

>>7969844
But you can see the chambers in a revolver.

>>7969844
I''m considering writing this on my arcade stick.

>>7969834
>sheep

And you're a "fight the machine" hipster retard to boot. Nice. If it wasn't ridiculously obvious that you're a newfag, you'd realize that you're full of shit. Idol threads are barren wastelands compared to the rest of /jp/, getting a post once every few hours if that. Moreover, the rest of the posters here hate idolfags. But I'm sure they're just 'being controlled by the movement' or whatever absolute bullshit you believe.

>>7969864
>Idol threads are barren wastelands compared to the rest of /jp/.
Yes.

>Moreover, the rest of the posters here hate idolfags.
No.

>>7969865
>I AM A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE, WHY WON'T ANYONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME!? BAAAAWWWWWWW

>>7969855
I forgot to mention. Idols are completely fake, their lives are awful because they are basically a forced personality that Japan wants, which leads me back to the personality spectrum. But I'll agree 3DPD embodies Caucasian girls more than Asians, because Japanese girls are much more conservative sexually.

>>7969858
awesome man check this one out

*it being this thread

>>7969854
One of the empty chambers might contain some happiness. No promises.

>>7969872
>WHY WON'T ANYONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME!?
Except you're paying a whole fuckton of attention, but other than that, sure.

>>7969875
If I win, I become happy, and if I lose, I go to Gensokyo.

Don't tempt me with these sorts of things.

>>7969865
>I am a man

Not only are you lying again, but it would be even WORSE for you if you weren't. A man who advocates female supremacy is less than a man. He's less than a woman. He's basically a useless piece of garbage that white knights to get laid.

>>7969875
>Empty chambers
>Contain something
>EMPTY

Somehow I knew feminist-chan would derail this thread within the first ten posts. Not that OP's thread wasn't utter shit to begin with, but there's no need to turn a pile of shit into a shitstorm.

>>7969865
If you're a man than you're one of those idiots trying to project your ideal woman onto a girl who has none of the personality traits that you want, which will leave you uninterested in her after your realize it, and both of you hurt at the end after wasting tons of time.

>>7969885
>...is less than a man. He's less than a woman. He's basically a useless piece of garbage.
Not the person you're talking to, but that's me to a T.

>Women are always going to believe that they OWN men. And we OWE them. That is the bottom line. And as long as they have the vote, women (through the magic of focus group politics) will pass laws to harness male labour for their benefit. And the laws won’t even be logical or internally consistent. They will often be vindicative merely for the sake of being vindicative.

>If your are fighting a civil war it doesn’t do any good to point out that some of the people on the other side are actually not bad people, even if it is true. They are still passing ammunition to the ones trying to kill you.

>>7969892
>Somehow I knew feminist-chan would derail this thread within the first ten posts.
It's not derailed. The thread is still related to the OP.

>>7969894
Is that feeling derived from a desire to be sexually dominated by a woman?

>>7969905
Nah, there's nothing sexual about it. I guess that it could logically be one of my fetishes, but I don't have any.

It's pointless. Everything you can get from a girlfriend, you could get via other means only with little to no bullshit.

>>7969873
No they aren't, bro. Japanese school girls are just as 3DPD as the ones over here, possibly even more. Have you not heard of the enjo kousai problem they have there?

Not all 3D women are horrible, media and trying to fit in makes them that way. Some of you talk fondly of your childhood friends being sweet and pure, but then quickly turning to sluts. It's not entirely their fault, but what they do after that is.

>>7969855
What you perceive as "PERFECT" is not up to you, but to the individual. When/IF you find that person for you, and you truly end up loving them, you would never trade them for any 2D whore that you so much was fond of. The word "perfect" will either become obsolete or become something else. A lot of /jp/ users do not understand this because we have this "I dont give a fuck, its TOOOOoO hard to find that girl MAAAAAAAAAN. FUCK WOMANZ" childish mentality.

>>7969864
They're not baron wastelands. You're one of those faggots who say and honestly believe "its the same 1-2 people talking to each other in one thread lol." Yeah, I know the likes of you. It also doesn't explain all the ronery threads which have been suppressed by oppressive users like you who want to be a part of such childish mentalities. Soon as someone who speaks differently from you, an anomaly, appears before you. Your first instinct is to try and control them, try to eject them from your comfortable bubble. Just goes to show how closed minded you are.

>>7969908
I know that much, I meant that historically Japanese women are much more sexually conservative. But yeah, there is that problem in America too, we just don't acknowledge it.

>>7969911
Then why?
Females don't really offer any more potential.

>>7969885
Ah, another ignoramus. Since when did I ever advocate female supremacy? You don't want to hear anything but what you want to hear, that's why -- and that's a woman thing, so you must be a woman. Derp.

>You're one of those faggots who say and honestly believe "its the same 1-2 people talking to each other in one thread lol."
They are now. I'm pretty sure almost everybody besides ReiNya~<3 has already left /jp/ with everyone else by now.

>It also doesn't explain all the ronery threads which have been suppressed by oppressive users like you who want to be a part of such childish mentalities.
Ronery threads fucking blow.

>>7969915
It's oppressed because /jp/ is not /r9k/, and being lonely is not related to Japanese culture.

>>7969915
>What you perceive as "PERFECT" is not up to you, but to the individual.
That is exactly what I said, when you meet the perfect 3D woman, in YOUR OWN eyes. There will still be a 2D woman that is the same as her, and will be more perfect in YOUR OWN eyes if you are fond of 2D.

>>7969909
That's the dumbest fucking argument in this thread thus far. That's like saying it's okay that niggers kill people because they grow up in crime-ridden ghettos and were raised that way. It's not their fault, right?

>>7969915
So, your entire counterargument consisted of putting words into my mouth and a middle school-tier psychoanalysis that you pulled out of your ass? You really are a fucking retard. Especially how you're calling everyone else 'closed-minded' when you came in here trying to push your shit on everyone against their will. What the fuck?

I actually had some female friends when I was younger. Too bad they all turned into huge sluts.
Kind of sad really.

>>7969922
Oh, well, I'm not actually an advocate of female supremacy, since that would be fairly illogical, although I am sympathetic to the idea. Any sympathy for it resides in my personal opinion of my (male) self rather than any particular ideas about gender war. The focus was on the part that I quoted.

>>7969915
3D cannot be perfect by virtue of the fact that it isn't 2D.

Suck my cock dude.

>>7969931
It's a standard leftist argument. Victims are never to blame, and women and the poor are always victims.

What the hell are you people doing?

>>7969931
I said that it's not okay after they become like that. So it would be like saying that niggers kill people because they grow up in the ghetto, and growing up in the ghetto and learning to kill people isn't their fault, but them killing people is their fault.

>>7969923
Since you started posting. And you can drop the god-awful charade already. The only reason you're claiming to be a male is to attempt to give your terrible opinions more credibility. If you were really a male, you would know that not even the most retarded of them would get this asspained because some guys don't want a relationship.

Is someone on /jp/ seriously defending women?

/jp/, this is the lowest you have ever gone.

>>7969942
>you would know that not even the most retarded of them would get this asspained because some guys don't want a relationship.
You need to meet more guys.

>/jp/, this is the lowest you have ever gone.
We go this low all the time.

>>7969944
Participating in an astoundingly thread because we're shitposters.

Feminazi, you may be right, but let me pose to you two arguements:
1. This is not /jp/ related, you will find it should go in
>>>/b/
>>>/soc/
or
>>>/adv

2. Not all women are shitty cunts, sure. But, without a good amount of luck, you won't find one you like. If you do, cool, if not, well, just keep doing your thing.

Also, remember, most men are fucking assholes who suck too.

>>7969934
Well, cheer up. Nobody's worth a damn anyway.

>>7969931
>That's like saying it's okay that niggers kill people because they grow up in crime-ridden ghettos and were raised that way

I guess you don't understand how important the role of environment is to a child growing up. The reality you perceive isn't absolute and the same for all. A person growing in a deprived childhood and rotten area without proper guidance would actually develop a different set of standards in order to survive in their environment. It is human adaptation at its core.

I agree with what he said; that women aren't completely to blame for being 3DPD. It's our 3DPD world passing on such values to the youth.

>>7969942
Funny thing that you don't get. There is no charade. You just don't want to accept that reality. You also don't want to hear different thoughts from yours because you consider this place to be your "sanctuary" from different views. Start learning elementary english again bro, I never targetted my first post to anyone in the thread. You're the only ones with a problem.

>>7969931
Would you blame the Mongols for killing and raping people because they lived in a society where killing and raping was the cool thing to do at the time?

Everyone sucks, life sucks, you work and are unhappy until you die. Relationships are for normalfags who need someone's love and affection and sex and contact to become happy sometimes during their shitty work-filled unhappy lives. That's all. It's not /jp/ related and really has nothing to do with the 2D v 3D argument. 2D girls seem perfect because they are unreachable. What you
adore looks beautiful to you it becomes even brighter because you can't reach it. That's life.

>>7969969
Only the most weak-minded of people are unable to form their own lifestyles. By the time someone reaches adulthood, they should have their own seperate ways of thinking and acting based on what they see as right. Environment doesn't have as much of an effect as most people would like to think.

>>7969976
You targeted all of /jp/. God, you are most definitely a girl. Acting like you didn't do anything at all and you're innocent when really you're the root of all the problems. Your attitude is what gives it away.

>>7969834
>There's been countless times where anons here have admitted to being able to appreciate real women
Are you counting admitting to liking real little girls? Because I've seen that happen a fair amount. Liking real women, not so much.

>>7969976
More pseudo-intellectual psychoanalysis? I'm shocked, really. Do you even read what you type? I don't think you sound as "deep and wise" as you hope you do. Just the opposite, actually. You're just making random assumptions with no base or evidence in reality to use as petty insults.

And where is your proof that you're a male? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. Again, even if you were a male, you'd be an embarrassment to humankind.

>>7969976
>If you believe in all girls are the same backstabbing sluts/whatever negative notion 4chan created, just because everyone here says so.
>just because everyone here say so

You cover your tracks well. Looks like you through of everything.

>>7969982
Very well put. Being a product of your environment means that you are very prone to peer pressure. Most girls are very prone to peer pressure because they fear rejection and conflict. They want to be part of the group so they end up doing what the group does.

There's nothing great about 3DPD.

>>7969988
What? Even though you could've simply ignored what I said and moved on? You people say bullshit like "lol 1 gai dont want relationsh1t and u feminists gots a prob with et", no dude. No one has a problem with that. You just have a problem accepting other peoples views.

No Anonymous, you chose to be targeted.

>>7969993
It's because she's a girl, anon. She thinks she's being sly and acting like a dude, as if no one will notice. Something like this is typical of girls, the problem is, she's used to dealing with idiots because they are the people she can manipulate.

>>7970003
I don't think there's a difference in the amount of peer pressure that males and females face in their younger years. Peer pressure to do different things, sure, but not less than the other.

In the teenage years, especially, guys get verbally assraped if they aren't in a relationship. With girls nobody cares.

>>7969982
3DPD is less affected by environmental barriers than those in less fortunate circumstances. Even if a girl is told to be a whore when she's young, I agree that when she is an adult she should be able to form her own guidelines upon which to live her life (yet they don't, so really, what does this say about women?).

However, your analogy to those born in ghettos is different, as there are real, tangible limitations that keep them restricted within that area. It would be like giving a zoo animal a key and expecting them to get themselves out of the zoo. The zoo is all they've ever known and all they will ever know. Only in real life's case, they need to find the key themselves or someone to tell them where it is.

>>7969976
If you actually are male, then you are probably the most pathetic guy I've seen in a long time.
And that's coming from someone on /jp/.
White knights are almost as bad, if not worse, than normalfags.

>>7970009
>Anonymous, you chose to be targeted.
You're just fucking stupid.

>>7970014
It's not the difference in amount of peer pressure, it's the difference in the way they can handle it. Young girls are emotionally sensitive and care much more about fitting in with a group than boys.

There's no need to defend yourself when you're anonymous.

So please stop posting, because nobody cares and there's no consequences if you simply walk away.

Stop shitting up the board with your angry /v/-level shit.

The media feeding women bullshit and turning them to 3DPD is no different than the junk food industry. Sure, they're feeding people poison, but they're giving people what they want! You might cry, BUT IT DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS POISON but you sure enjoyed stuffing your face with it, and you even paid for it.

http://world2ch.org/wiki/doku.php?id=one_person

>>7970009
>Even though you could've simply ignored what I said and moved on?
You're the one who was unable to do this in the first place. You just couldn't accept that someone doesn't like women. Again, why the fuck do you even care? You'll probably never even see someone from /jp/.

>You just have a problem accepting other peoples views.
The hypocrisy is almost palpable.

>>7970021
>>7970019
Guys, this is a girl we are talking to, she will just drone on, shoving her point down our throats until we pretend to agree so she'll shut the fuck up. She has no sense of logic or anything.

>>7970015
They're worse. They're like eternally black sheep, not fitting in with the normalfags or the rejects and at the end of the day, despite all of their grueling work defending women, they will never get laid. ;_;

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

>>7970020
Get that feminist garbage out of here. That point of view was disproven decades ago.

>115 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>>7970040
Thanks. You actually improved this thread.

>>7970050
I'm saying that girls are stupider which means they care more about what everyone else thinks. If anything that's anti-feminist.

>>7970015
The entire act of whiteknighting has an underlying motive, which is to get pussy. There are no pussies to gain here. Actually, I have nothing to gain other than the pleasure of seeing you guys rage. I simply stated not everyone is the same person and your final conclusion is that I'm whiteknighting. I lol'd.

Hi ^____^ I just found this site on polish site with funny links and images :D And my name is Anna >___> Im 17 years old :D And I like animu very much ^__^ I liek Inuyasha, and Vampire Knight :))) And I know few japanese words like "BAKA" and "KAWAII"!!! Anime is very very cute :] Uhmm, thats all about me :D

But Its really confusing because I cant find where to register, and why all post with name "Anonymous". :S But still I dunno how to register :S >___< And I posted this on other forums (it was Random forums I think) but when I was on index I couldnt find my thread, do I need to wait for moderators to accept my threads???

My gadu-gadu is: 8534618 !!!!!!! ^_~

Ok!!! Hugz 4 all <3 <3 <3 And Ill post some funny pictures for you :)

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Anna\Moje dokumenty\funnycat.jpg[/img]

And special pictures with kawaii animes ^__^

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Anna\Moje dokumenty\inuyashia_kagome.jpg[/img]

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Anna\Moje dokumenty\inuyasha_dance.gif[/img]

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Anna\Moje dokumenty\chibi_fullmetalalchemist.jpg[/img]

>>7970051
Ah, the 'lol i trol u' card. I was waiting for it.

Of course it holds little value when you're by far the most buttmangled person here.

>>7970051
This slut is so visibly upset, that he needs to create a thread on our glorious board in an attempt to raise his self worth.

Come at me, whore. I am the fucking pinnacle of man, both body and mind. I attend an Ivy league university, completely payed off by scholarships, with the leftover money used to buy myself a luxury vehicle. My grade point average is perfect point O. After I finish my dual bachelors I will be accepted straight away into the doctorate program. I will have two doctorate degree's by age twenty-five, owe zero debts, and make more money a year than you will in a lifetime. The funny thing is, this is the average /jp/ browser. There are many who far surpass me.

Of course, knowing this, you figure the only way to attack me is the only way you know how, using words of which the meaning escapes you, insult some genre of game no one on this board plays, and using our own image macros to mock yourself.

You forgot your "My face when" by the way, the text suits you perfectly.

Go ahead and reply, doing so only proves my point to such an extent that you might as well just beg to suck my dick and eat my bodily waste, so that maybe an iota of my greatness could pass onto you.

>>7970051
HUUUUUR MAYBE IF I REMIND EVERYONE THERE ARE NO GIRLS HERE PEOPLE WILL THINK I'M NOT A GIRL!

>>7970059
He's probably laughing his ass off right now.

Well, no, because anybody who has spent enough time on /jp/ is a soulless husk incapable of laughter.

But he's probably having a good time.

>>7969824
>and /jp/ labels me as a woman/feminist/e

You guys can't spot trolls even after that?

?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained
in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>This entire fucking thread

Whatever happened to sage/ignore/hide?

>>7970059
Except I'm not trolling. Everything I say has been straight from my honest thoughts. I can still enjoy seeing ignorant people get upset over different opinions though. You're not as smart as you think.

>>7970073
Now trying to pull a ''loltwistXd''

what an autistic mongrel.

>>7970064
Did you even attempt to sound like somebody else?

>>7970070
74/133 are sages.

I want to smell each and every one of their farts. I bet each meguka has a slightly different smell. Then I would like their anuses and stimulate them to poop in my mouth. I would take in that distinctive strong smell and my penis grows ever harder from their waste. I would mash in their poop with my tongue and feel the consistency and compare it with the other and see if there are any food pieces that I could pick out. I would take the remaining poop pieces and ask them to rub it all over my body, combining all the megucas poop together to create a coat over my skin. Then they would masturbate my dick with their poop covered hands untill I cum all over their poop pile.

7970073
>Except I'm not trolling.
Exactly, you're just a girl who thinks we care about your thoughts, that makes you more pathetic than a troll. But then again, maybe you're telling us you aren't trolling because you're that much of a troll.
>>7970074
Not a troll, a girl.>>

>>7970064
Your butthurt samefag is showing.

I had a dream about Saten-san the other night. I was visiting her. The first few days were normal enough and I ended up sleeping on the floor. A few nights time had passed and she eventually invited me into her bed one night. I tried to keep my distance but she kept pushing herself against me, and I was unable to get to sleep so I left the bed.

The next day she asked me to get some things from the grocery store and when I returned I discovered her participating in a full gangbang. She was laid back on the couch legs spread, one cock in each hand, one in her ass, one in her pussy and one in her mouth. I immediately dropped the groceries in surprise and she simply closed her eyes and pretended I wasn't there. I left the apartment and went home.

>>7970073
Everything you just said was pure projection. You are the only angry one here, as well as the only person trying too hard to sound smart.

Imagine Chen going to the bathroom really badly because she had some spicy tacos the other night. She sits on your face with your mouth eagerly awaiting your delicious meal she is making for you. She squirms and strains and struggles as her cute little pink anus is flexing and twitching open and close. she lets out tiny little farts that are quite strong and smelly as she giggles and apologizes for them sinking so much. But this only gets your mouth watering for what is to come. she give one more good push and lets out a little cute brown bud that slowly emerges into a thick long and delicious poop log. As she is getting more aroused from the sensation of someone serving as her loyal toilet she says in a lustful yet gingerly manner "itedekimasu unko-san~" As your long awaited meal that has been slow roasted inside her you began to eat gingerly. You can hear Chen breathing heavier as she is about to cum from this ecstasy of pooping in someones mouth. As you chew on the warm delicious product of Chen more comes from her cute butt and plops on your chest. She steps off of the seating apparatus and looks at you eating with lustful eyes. "Mmm that looks tasty~" She slowly encroaches on top of you and takes a deep smell of her meal and starts to slowly rub it all over you while taking the remaining pieces and eats some herself. "I-I can't take it anymore unko-san! I'm g-going to cum~" She then squirts quarts of her female cum juice and coats your entire body with it as you cum in sync to her cumming. She plops on your shit smeared body in complete exhaustion from the immense orgasm as the both of you bask in the afterglow of such a wonderful event. Fancy that.

I didn't fight in the Gulf for 10 fucking years to be insulted to my face over the internet by some stuck-up brat.

Reported and called my buddies in the national guard. Prepare to be assraped - you fucked with the wrong guy.

ai­ki­do master here.

Yeah, it would. Let me tell you are story.

Last week I went clubbing alone, I'm a tall lanky guy, 6'2, 125lb. So here I am, grinding on this chick when this bulky black guy comes over and pushes me away from her. He probably thought I would leave and let him take her, wrong. I gently tapped his shoulder and told him to take his leave or he would feel the consequences. Of course, he told me fuck off, but I didn't.

I guess I irritated him enough and he tried to swing at me, I wasn't scared, my years of ai­ki­do training was more than enough for this buffoon. I simply grabbed his hand and reversed the force back at him. He punched himself out.

The rest of the night there was a 4m radius of emptiness around me. No one fucks with ai­ki­do.
Everyday I look at /fit/ and laugh. They are so pathetic, wasting there time in a hot stinky gym lifting weights.

I just do ai­ki­do and I look twice as aesthetic as the best looking /fit/ poster. I'm probably twice as strong too, strong enough to compete competitively as a strongman or Olympic lifter.

But I can actually use my strength to defend myself, I can probably take on four Brock Lesnars.

At once.

Little girls can improve everything. Take, for example, human innards. Normally, one wouldn't think of his spleen or kidneys as being adorable, but once you imagine them as cute little girls, even human viscera can be worth falling in love with. Your kidneys, for example, would be identical twins wearing the adrenal glands as their hats, gladly devoting themselves to their rather disagreeable job with a warm smile on their faces so that your body can be free of waste products. Your bladder would be a shy, clumsy loli under the kidneys' guidance, trying her best to hold in your urine but occassionally falling and spilling pee everywhere. Your liver would be a reliable onee-sama type who oversees the blood sugar levels in your body and detoxifies harmful chemicals, she'd always be concerned over your well-being and admonish you if you don't watch your food and alcohol intake; but despite being a strict, no-nonsense class president type on the surface (she'd probably wear glasses too) she'd secretly be a perverted lolicon in an incestous lesbian relationship with her little sister gallbladder-tan. Your stomach would be a womanizer despite being a little girl, frequently kissing both oesophagus-tan and small intestine-tan mouth-to-mouth with the excuse of "transferring digestive contents", but she'd do this even if you haven't eaten in days.

As the alchemists of old believed that gold was the ideal form of all metals, I believe the ideal form of humankind to be adorable young maidens. I pray that once we die, the afterlife awaits us will involve all /jp/ users turning into elegant young ladies and taking it easy until the end of times.

>>7970023
That's why I liked iichan's /b/, back in the day. Unfortunately it's small size was its downfall, which was quite possibly brought upon by a single shitposter, or at least catalyzed by them.

Also, how big is that guys collection of pictures of shii? I only have a couple.

>>7970082
It was pretty obvious from his second post.

>>7970078
Doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

>>7970083
>>7970077
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?

Tsumugi noticed Mio's open mouth, incapable of speaking. "Don't worry Mio," she said, slipping her cock into a quivering Mio. "You're scared now, but you'll enjoy it."

"No," Mio hissed back. "I'll never forgive you for this."

"Oh but you will." Mugi whispered. "For you see, OnLive is launching the world’s highest performance Games On Demand service, instantly delivering the latest high-end titles over home broadband Internet to the TV and entry-level PCs and Macs.

Founded by noted technology entrepreneur Steve Perlman (WebTV, QuickTime) and incubated within the Rearden media and technology incubator, OnLive spent seven years in stealth development before officially unveiling in March 2009.

OnLive, together with its Mova subsidiary, lies directly at the nexus of several key trends, all of which are reshaping the way we think about and use digital media:

* The shift to cloud computing, displacing the limitations, cost and complexity of local computing;
* An explosion of consumer broadband connectivity, bringing fast bandwidth to the home;
* Unprecedented innovation, creativity and expansion within the video game market.

Pioneering the delivery of rich interactive media to the home, OnLive will change the way that entertainment applications are created, delivered and consumed.

OnLive, the future of videogames."

>>7970089
>Exactly, you're just a girl who thinks we care about your thoughts

Keep the pasta coming, I'm getting some good material for my file.

Are you serious?
Top ten reasons why blacks are the master race:
1: We make better music. I'll take Tupac over your emo bullshit songs anyday.
2: We have more power. Now that Obama's in office, you honkies ain't gonna be hatin' much longer.
3: We're resistant to the sun. Have fun burning up every time you step outside.
4: We have bigger cocks. Face it- this has been proven by science. It's also been proven that women love huge

dicks.
5: We get all the women. Like it or not, no bitch can resist a black man.
6: Our women are better. Aside from being smarter, you don't catch black women cheatin' on every goddamn boyfriend

they get. Not that anyone would cheat on a black man.
7: We're just plain cooler. You always see the white kids pretending they were black, but you never see our kids

trying to be white.
8: We're more physically fit. We can run faster, jump higher, and do shit you fat cracker-ass white boys could

never even dream of doing.
9: We have more fun. Me and my brothers are always out partying, having a good time...while you pasty honkies sit

inside, jerkin' off and watchin' your shitty Japanese cartoons.
10: Blacks are better fighters. All of the famous UFC champions and boxers have been black. And you ever see a

white man that knew how to use a gun? Neither have I.

I love you, /jp/.

>>7970097
I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

　　　　　　　　　　　　｢/∧　　　　　　　　　　　　＿//|
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I just ate some fried chicken. The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm. Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my table and asked me how the meal was.I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apologized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it. He lead me to the back of the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror, the remaining sections of its body covered with festering sores and a froth of sweat. The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones. They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it. I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the diseased asshole puckering rythmically with terror, squirting pus with each convulsion. {We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?} I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect penis into the stallion's defenseless asshole. With each thrust, I donkey punched the horse in the back of the head, making it clench its ass even tighter. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer.

　　　　 ∧＿∧
　　　　( ´･ω･`) 　　 　∧＿∧
　　　 ／ 　　　 ＼　 　（´Д｀　） What the fuck is
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||＼　￣￣￣￣　　 ／ .|　　　|　|
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||.　 （ 　　　）　　　　 ~＼___＿_ノ|　　 ∧＿∧
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　　|　　　　　ヽ　　　 　　　　　　　＼/ 　　　 ヽ.
　　|　　　　|ヽ、二⌒) 　　　　 　　／ .|　　　|　|
　　.|　　　　ヽ　＼∧＿∧　　　 (⌒＼|_＿./　/

>>7970095
>>7970102

If I had a girlfriend she would probably just hold me down...

And you know...

That is not my STYLE!

Without one I can PARTY HARD on /jp/ whenever I want!!

u college jealous? gdi bitter because money mine? more strong, squat big?

jealous of my bitter babby beta? gdi scum frat castle jeans?

HEY GDI FAGGOTS WHY CRY? MAD THAT PUSSY NO GET? BITTER AT BUSINESS? CONNECTIONS? QUESTION ME, ANGRY?

just because i get party pussy means you mad alcohol!? beer bbq jealous at me?

u frat greek? money? get mad at money? i make more stuff better so i better than you mad!

make business connection make 4034K year/month? yeah frat jalous

legit no homo, business connections = party legit

>>7970106
I'll kick your ass faggot. You think you're tough? lets see how tough you are with a couple rounds from my .45 lodged in your skull. Kinda hard to talk shit when I've blown half your face off. You better watch yourself faggots, I work for the fucking CIA, if I want you dead, you are dead. Its that fucking simple. Watch your god damned fucking mouth. I have over 30 years military training, I would rip your spine out while raping your fucking mother up her dried up old skanky cunt. I would then proceed to bundle up what remains of your body and shove my 12 inch cock down your throat and skull fuck you till my cum oozes from every hole in your body. Watch your fucking back. I'm coming for you.

But who needs mature women when you can have a shy, flat-chested little girl with pectus excavatum lifting her pyjamas to reveal her inverted chest and telling you that it's okay to stick your penis inside it? Don't you want to feel a pure maiden's heart beating rapidly right next to your penis as you cum all you want in her ribcage-pussy, enjoying her body warmth with every thrust and feeling her saliva drip onto your stomach as she loses her chest cavity virginity to you, her small body overwhelmed from the pleasure of getting her concave chest fucked? And after you're done thoroughly penetrating her, she'd touch the grotesque, sunken cavity on her sternum with a smile, remarking how much you came inside her tight chest-pussy and how she can feel your warm semen deep inside her, and then she would rest in your embrace while giggling softly, overjoyed that you still love her despite her condition. If only I was a young lady with a penis, finding joy in a perverse relationship with another little girl with pectus excavatum and enjoying life together as sisters and lovers despite our deformities.

>>7970117
Pic related.

>>7970118
I love this one.

Right now the trolls are acting like if they were /jp/. You can see this by the way they have kiddie level rebuttals like whiteknight. Whiteknight is a term mostly used by wowfags or /v/ shitposters. /jp/ seems to not know their place when this discussions show up simply because they think trolls quickly taking the voice from /jp/ are them. You should realize there is no standards or cohesion to trolls. They just act retarded, like the shitposters on youtube.

>>7970078
I've been using nokosage, and I imagine many others have too.

Today was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Tomoka. She is really fucking hot and looks like a preschooler. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Mokkan called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my cock. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my cock. Booya.

Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch cock is going inside of her pussy, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my cock. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

I played diablo for like 12 hours straight on my couch, slowly sliding into a position that was almost parallel with the floor. At some point I realized my head was the only part of me still on the couch, and I decided that was a retarded way to sit, but by that point I couldn't move. I fell over and dropped my laptop. My back was spasming so bad I almost pissed myself. In a vain attempt to alleviate the pain I crawled into the shower and turned on blasting hot water. That was no help, but it did soak my tshirt. After 15 minutes of crying on the bathroom floor wearing a soaked and freezing tshirt I found a pair of scissors in a droor and cut the shirt off. I passed out from pain in a bunch of dirty towels and q-tips. Never felt anything like that, not before and not after. Awful.

It all started off with a fart. He didn’t even understand what was going on or why he felt what he felt, but now all he could think about was being dirty with a teacher who was in his late 40s. The white rat was just standing in the bathroom, peeing in a urinal when one of the high school teachers came inside and decided to piss next to him. Frisby didn’t pay much attention to the guy, at least, not until he started to pee. The rodent glanced over at the teacher—a chubby grayish-brown bunny with glasses on—and noticed that he wasn’t holding his cock when he peed. He was just standing there with his paws on his hips, letting his flaccid cock hang down as urine shot out of it. The teacher sighed softly as he peed, clearly enjoying his moment of relief. Frisby kept peeing, but he couldn’t help but glance at the teacher’s cock again, this time checking out its length and size. His cock was cut and quite long even when it wasn’t erect. Fris knew a horse cock could easily outshine the teacher’s, but his was impressive given his species. The 18-year-old senior sighed and looked away, but he just wound up glancing at it again and again and again, still wondering how the teacher didn’t notice he was looking at him.

>>7970119
you wanna fucking fight kid well guess what I just hacked your IP address. yea thats right you can't do shit you fucking pussy... if you try to start ANY MORE shit with me, I'll hack the shit out of your computer so be warned you terrorist piece of shit. and if you try to come to my house just be warned that I know Kung Fu and have a GUN so if you wanna start some shit I'll fuckin be ready to kick the shit out of you. You've been warned, motherfucker. don't FUCK WITH ME again.

Oooooooh I'm so scared, you think you're tough pussy? I'm behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy which I all keep up-to-date. THAT'S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME motherfucker. You can't hack me you little piece of shit. You're peeshooter and kung fu won't make a difference when my friend woh's a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard into a fuckhuge bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you're sitting there writing insults like the sad little nerd you are i'm having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that motherfucker, I dont think you've ever even held hands with a girl.

I'm done here, i'm gonna have sex with my bitches and leave you writing angry comments all day and night like the piece of filth nerd you are

>>7970127
Buttmangled.

ONCE UPON A TIME MARISA WAS TRAIPSING THOUGH THE WOODS WHEN SHE BEHELD TEWI AND REISEN DOING IT IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND (REISEN WAS ON THE BOTTOM) SO SHE CALLED OUT TO THEM, "HEY YOU WEIRD MOON RABBITS WHY ARE YOU FUCKING LIKE EARTH RABBITS DOWN THERE ZE" SO THEY REPLIED "WE'RE GOING TO WONDERLAND" AND MARISA SAID "WELL I HEAR THERE ARE GREAT MUSHROOMS IN WONDERLAND SO I WANT TO GO TOO" BUT THE RABBITS TURNED HER AWAY SO SHE WENT TO GO FIND SOMEONE WHO COULD HELP HER AND AS SHE LEFT THE FOREST SHE THOUGHT ALOUD "REIMU KNOWS A LOT ABOUT BORDERS AND I DON'T TRUST A WOMAN WHO CLAIMS TO BE SEVENTEEN DESPITE BEING OLDER THAN MOST OF THE REST OF US SO I'LL JUST STICK WITH REIMU" ALTHOUGH IN TRUTH REIMU HAD ANTICIPATED HER ARRIVAL AND ALREADY PREPARED A BATH AND TEA AND ALCOHOL SO WHEN MARISA ARRIVED REIMU ENCOURAGED HER TO DRINK AND PLAY AND RELAX AND WHEN MARISA WAS THOROUGHLY TIRED AND TOO DRUNK TO FLY HOME REIMU INSISTED SHE STAY THE NIGHT BUT MARISA REMEMBERED WHAT SHE HAD ORIGINALLY COME FOR SO SHE ASKED "REIMU HOW DO I GET TO WONDERLAND CAUSE I SAW THE MOON RABBITS FUCKING AND THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO WONDERLAND AND I HEAR THERE ARE NICE MUSHROOMS THERE ZE" AND REIMU REPLIED "GO TO SLEEP AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO WONDERLAND IN THE MORNING" BUT MARISA INSISTED "I WANT TO GO NOW" SO REIMU SAID FINE CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO WONDERLAND SO SHE DID AND REIMU POUNCED ON HER AND THEY HAD NOISY LESBIAN SEX AND AFTER A WHILE MARISA THOUGHT TO HERSELF "AH SO THIS IS WONDERLAND ZE"

I think the worst part about shmup fanboys is that they're basically /v/'s equivalent of hipsters. They come in here with their shitty obscure arcade games from 1995 that nobody's even heard of, and act as if they're the most epic games ever made. They talk about the forgettable music, horrendously outdated gameplay (there's a reason shmups aren't a big genre anymore), and DEEP scoring systems on games that nobody else here gives two fucks about. They'll use their in-clique terms amongst each other in a desperate attempt to sound sophisticated and leet to everyone else. And why? To be cool on the internet. Don't bother mentioning that shmups as a whole are terrible- this only makes them cooler for liking something so obscure and disliked.

Better yet, most of them have a severe case of unwarranted self-importance. Acting like you're superior over video game abilities is retarded in its own right, but they take it to a whole new level. They've actually deluded themselves into thinking that it takes far more skill to play the same level again and again against a predictable AI opponent than competing with other players on say, a fighting game or FPS. Once you get them mad by pointing out their faggotry, they'll immediately start rageposting about how you "can't handle the difficulty" and how their shitty genre is "too advanced for modern gamers". You'd think that these kind of retro-goggle retards would have died out a long time ago, but this sadly isn't the case. When you throw in their tendency to be headband-toting japanophiles, you get some of the worst posters this side of 4chan.

It's funny though, the only times they can actually spam this bullshit without getting banned is when threads like this show up.

IF U WERE KILLED ASHITA, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR
FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA BAKA THAT KOROSU U!

..._.....____________________, ,
`---/_ KAWAII GUN ---------_____] = = = = =(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_________.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE TOMODACHI
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER

That’s when he passed gas. The teacher was almost done urinating when he abruptly let out a short, but loud fart in the bathroom that seemed to echo off the walls. Frisby’s eyes grew wide. He never pictured teachers doing something like that in front of a student. He didn’t even bother covering up the smell or excusing himself. He just sighed and let the last bits of urine trickle from his cock. The fat bunny went over and washed his paws while Frisby just stood there with his phallus in his hands, still trying to fathom what just happened. He looked down at the urinal when the teacher walked past him and exited the bathroom before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The bunny sure did have rank gas; Frisby assumed he ate too many nachos at lunch today or too many sausage biscuits in the morning. Either way, his gas seemed to have stunk up the bathroom, almost to the point where it smelled like someone just shattered a dozen rotten eggs. The rodent suddenly realized that his phallus was fully hard now, and emitting a tiny bit of pre. Frisby knew the boner wouldn’t go away anytime soon so he promptly retreated into a nearby stall and jerked off until he came in the toilet.

IF U CAUGHT FIRE TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N SPACE KILLIN DA EXPLOSION THAT KILLED U!
.....__
.....\__\_________________
<<|__|________________|>
............./___________/
WE TRUE SPACEMANS
WE ORBIT TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
send this SPACE SHUTTLE CHALLENGER to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 1 your A TRUE ASTRONAUGHT

YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY THE

|^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
|KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
.”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@

MOTHERFUCKER ONCE U BEEN HIT, U HAVE TO HIT 8 FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE. IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOUR REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE
MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BRAKE DIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOULL BEE CURSED WITH UN*KAWAIINESS AND SHITINESS FOR 9000 YEARS
SO PAS EET; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII

How to get a girl in your ai­ki­do class to like you
Talk to her before and after each class. If she's just sitting in a chair, or standing somewhere, go up to her and talk about something interesting. But make sure she isn't already talking to someone else.
Ask her for her email address or her IM. Do this at least the fifth time you see her if you talk to her a lot, and if she asks why, you don't have to tell her it's because you like her, just turn it around and ask why not.
Don't make fun of her if she does sloppy push-ups, or a bad counter. You can do it once in a while, but not every time you go. Try not to be too patronizing, but it could give you the opportunity to show off and help her with her technique. However some girls might take offense to any form of criticism so be careful.
While sparring her, if you get to do so, don't go too hard on her, but don't go so easy that it's obvious.

Remember, she IS learning the same techniques as you, and may well feel you are insulting her abilities by going easy on her.
Compliment her on her ai­ki­do skills after class. Girls love it when they get compliments. If she's more advanced than you, ask her to help you with a technique. It'll give you the opportunity to talk to her while flattering her skill.
Saying Good bye. When you're leaving, or when she's leaving (which ever is first), say good bye to her. The best way to say it is see you later, so the girl knows that you actually want to see her later.
Make sure you don't have anything stuck in your teeth when you talk to her.
If there are any awkward silences in your conversations, quickly say something funny or interesting.
If you're talking to her, stare into her eyes and don't look around in different places in the room. It'll annoy her.
Check if your dojo has any rules about dating someone from the class. Some have rules like this to prevent both sexual harassment and interpersonal drama from cropping up in class.

YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY THE

|^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
|KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
.”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@

MOTHERFUCKER ONCE U BEEN HIT, U HAVE TO HIT 8 FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE. IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOUR REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE
MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BRAKE DIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOULL BEE CURSED WITH UN*KAWAIINESS AND SHITINESS FOR 9000 YEARS
SO PAS EET; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII

I like Konata because she is a otaku like me, except she has friends. Oh god I wish I had friends too ;_;

Konata also likes videogames and she is kawaii. And there are lesbians in the show and that's good because I like lesbians and I will never have a girlfriend. Why am I such a loser?!

Konata is like my dreamgirl she has a :3 face I love that. She is also nice why aren't real girls nice!? I got dumped a lot of times but I love konata and she wouldn't dump me because she's so nice and cool.

We would play videogames all day and read manga and other cool shit like that, and I would have sex with her because sex is so good. I wish I could have sex with a girl.

"W-Why on earth would you want to-"

Reimu looks at you with a mix of confusion and embarrassment. You cut her off sharply, reminding her that she'd agreed to this in return for a sizable donation.

"Okay, fine." she pouts, and lays down on the floor.

You gingerly lay on top of her, holding her down. She squirms a little under you, and looks away from you with a huff. Refusing to make eye contact, she extends her arm upwards, exposing her armpit. "Just go ahead and do it," she snaps. You admire the contours of her side, her barely visible ribs, the side of her breast wrapped in a sarashi, and finally the smooth valley of her armpit. It glistens slightly in the light from her sweat, and you lower your nose in and inhale deeply. Reimu's fragrance is magnificent, and you find yourself becoming hard almost instantly. Reimu yelps with surprise as you begin to lick her, the salty taste of her perspiration flooding your mouth and driving you wild with lust. She can feel your erection pressing into her thigh, and as you continue to lick her armpit she mutters "P-pervert..."

Frisby couldn’t concentrate at all for the rest of the day. He ignored the lectures in every class he went to and just scribbled random words down in his notebook. Even when his friend showed him a way to access porn sites on the school computers without anyone finding out, he still just remained quiet and daydreamt. That bunny he met was so chubby, and his cock was so fat. And that fart…it was like the teacher wanted Frisby to smell his gas, almost as if he was inviting him for something. He adored how subtle the teacher was; he didn’t even place the blame on Frisby or get rid of the smell. Frisby thought that fart was his way of telling him he had a fat, stinky ass, and was proud of it. But what Frisby couldn’t understand was whether or not he wanted the rat to invade that ass and do dirty things with it. Surely the teacher knew Frisby was a little turned on? Most guys would just laugh or plug their noses, but Fris didn’t do either. He got a huge boner, and wound up masturbating to the stench. The rat was so distracted by his thoughts that he wound up getting a boner in the middle of class. Lucky for him he was sitting at a desk so no one managed to see it.

>>7970132
Yeah right, always the same kind of shitty rebuttals. Way to go.

Dear /jp/,

It thought about the question of the ages while looking at the spaghetti
napolitain of the lunch. It is a question "Why is the napolitain red?". It
looks easy, and the problem with a deep interior.
It doesn't become an idea stop ..another.., and not exist excluding the
defeat of the intellect at all though arranges "It is red because it is red"
etc. and tautology and there is complacent superficial man, too either.
There is a phenomenon "Redshift". It is a phenomenon that the spectral line
changes red by the Doppler effect in the heavenly body that goes away from
the earth at high speed in space. In a word, if the napolitain goes away
from us at high speed even though what color, an original napolitain is sure
to look red glaring. Whether does the napolitain in the presence move at
high speed or not?It is understood from turning on the opposite side of the
napolitain. Blue one are sure to change, and to look blue the spectrum by
observing it from the opposite direction of the movement. When having turned
oppositely, the napolitain was red. Therefore, it can be said that this
napolitain will not high-speed move.

All this madness was torturing the white rat. He had to find out who this guy was or else he’d go crazy and spend the rest of his young adult years fixating on the teacher. He looked all around the school, searching for this one bunny that had a fat ass and tummy and wasn’t afraid to pass gas in front of students (or him at least). But no matter how many times he peeked into the teacher’s lounge, he never found the leporid. The rodent was about to give up on his search when he saw the teacher walking out of an office on his way back home. Even though he hadn’t passed gas again, Frisby could identify the teacher’s bunny scent with ease. The rat turned around and stared at the teacher as he began to walk away, fixating on his enormous behind. He looked so professional in his collared, beige shirt that was tucked into his brown pants. He looked like a nerd too with the glasses on, but something told Frisby that underneath all that teacher clothing and glasses was a sexy rabbit with an ass furs like him only dreamed about. That’s when one of Frisby’s friends popped up and noticed him staring at the teacher in the hallway.

>>7970155
Mad with excitement you withdraw your face from her side and greedily instruct her "Other side."

She sighs and obeys your command, extending her other arm upwards. You bury your face in her other armpit and begin to lick her vigorously once more.

"Oh god, Reimu," you mutter under your breath, and the excitement is too much for you to bear. As you lick the sweat from her other pit, you actually reach orgasm and begin to cum in your pants. "Mmmm, Reimu!" you groan. Realizing what is going on, she squirms and attempts to push you off of her. Having reached climax anyways, you relent and sit up, letting her get out from underneath you.

Reimu's reaction to you having cum just from licking her armpits is one of complete disgust. However, 100,000 yen speaks louder than words and she wraps her hand around yours, withdrawing the wad of sweaty bills.

She gives you a look that's somewhere between utter contempt and genuine thanks, and sends you on your way, looking for something to wipe your saliva from her underarms.

Weekend /jp/, man.

Brings out the dumb Anons of both genders.

Denial is the child of necessity.

∧＿∧　　　∧＿∧　　　∧＿∧　　 ∧＿∧　 　 　　∧＿∧
　（　・∀・） 　 （　｀ー´）　　（　´∀｀）　 （　ﾟ ∀ﾟ ）　　　 （　＾∀＾）
　（　　　　つ┳∪━━∪━∪━━∪━∪━━∪━┳⊂　 　 　つ
　｜ ｜　|　 ┃This thread has peacefully ended.┃　｜ ｜ ｜
　（_＿）＿） ┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻　（_＿）＿）

“Whatcha doing? Checking out someone’s ass again without trying to get caught?”

Frisby nodded and pointed at the bunny. His jackal friend noticed the bunny walking away and gasped with wide eyes.

“Seriously man?! You’re getting a hard-on from one of the teachers?”

The rat smiled softly and chuckled. He started to walk after him. “Yeah.”

“Mr. Saflyle? Dude, that guy used to be a marine or a tank driver or some shit. How do you think he’ll react when some gay rat walks up to him and glomps his ass? Even if the guy is queer, he’s a teacher. Doing shit like that could get you expelled! He could even press charges on you for violating him!”

“Calm down. I’ll just take it slow, then. Since we decided to stay after school, I can easily make up some story saying my friend won’t pick me up, my parents are on vacation, and I need to hitch a ride home. If he doesn’t make a move on me by then, I’ll go home and forget about it. But if he does…”

>>7970164
And women, who are trolls by nature.

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Lenin-san and I absolutely luuuv ☭_____☭ socialism <3 and my fav is october revolution!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot comrade trotsky!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN REVOLUTIONARY IN PERSON!!! Supa communism desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^ When I walked onto Red Square =^____^=I looked up and saw…TROTSKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333!!!! “доброе утро OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA SOCIALIST TROTSKY-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled `____´ then he turned menshevik then un-menshevik!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how marxist I am *___* he grabbed my working class and rallied them ~_^ then pulled me behind a soviet o_o and started to propagandize me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS PROPAGANDA TASTED LIKE PROLETARIAT!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat bureaucrat watching us and I could tell he was reforming him with his eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA STALIN THAT’S MY COMRADE WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH MAO CAUSE TROTSKY-SAMA STRUGGLES WITH ME!!! (o_o)” then trotsky held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever fight for the working class and propagandized me again!!!!!!! ** (☭O☭)/ then we got censored out by government officials all night long and inspired 42 theorists and they all became revolutionaries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YPAAAAA!!!*^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*(^o^)(^o^)(^o^)

The jackal sighed and rolled his eyes. “What are you gonna do?”

Frisby grinned. “It’s probably best you don’t know.”

The jackal knew there was no point in stopping Frisby whenever he saw something he desired, so he just sighed and went back to class to study. The white rat on the other hand sprinted out the high school and saw Mr. Saflyle walking down the stairs to the teacher’s parking lot. That’s when he decided to greet him.

“Hey! Mr. Saflyle!”

The bunny sighed. “I already explained it to you before: you can’t turn your project in two weeks late.”

Mr. Saflyle turned around and saw he was looking at a white rat only a few months into adulthood. He relaxed, knowing it wasn’t the troublemaking wolf who always turned his work in late.

“Sorry, I thought you were one of my students.”

“That’s fine. I know this a bit awkward, but, um…”

“You want me to write a letter of recommendation.”

How did this thread go from the worst on /jp/ to the best?

>>7970160
Thank you for proving my point.

>>7970164
>implying that you're not here every weekend
>implying that all /jp/ femanons aren't full retard
>implying that you won't take offense to that statement because you're a white knight
>implying that someone won't ask who I'm quoting

>>7970172
Who are you quoting?

thx op she hot in porn 10/10 i cum bucket, then i cum another bucket, then another. soon i have filled all of the buckets i own and i frantically rummage through closets and cupboards, my penis wracked with jizz-spasms, hoping to find a suitable container for my semen. the horror! bowls, cups, plates, and milk crates, all drenched in stinking cock goop. priceless victorian china forever defiled. my dick is a veritable fuck fountain. the cum, the cum, the cum, gushing and flowing from the head of my gay dong, a deluge of dude slime, a jism cataclysm. Cum Death. as a splooge tendril trickles down the side of a garbage can, i realize that i have filled every suitable receptacle with my skeet. there is nowhere for my jizz to go. unless... unless... yes it seems outlandish but... yes! fists shaking i grab a knife in one hand and my spurty weiner in another. i slice open my stomach and stuff my schlong inside. the semen pours into my abdominal cavity and courses through my bloodstream. it is invigorating. my body is growing heavy now and my mind clouded with cum delirium. i sink into the floor. i am no longer a man. i am a Cum Vessel.

Fuck man! I just realized that's his own hand touching his crotch.

>>7970168
I have to say I enjoyed that.

i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fuck this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass

Ado Edem > ORT (Type-Mercury) > Domination of the Draka = Chimera's Territory > Soviet Union (circa 2050, with Mecha Lenin) = Continent of Mu = Confederate States of America = European Union (Socialist upgrade) = The Empire of Japan (fused with Greater Corea) = Roman Empire (Caesar) > Minas Tirith = Holy Britannian Empire (Season 2) = Middle Earth (Second Age) = United States of America (Gilded Age) = Roman Empire (AD) = Persian Empire > Paris Commune (with maids) = Lemuria > Fascist Italy (with Egypt and Sudan) = That Island from Lost = Palace of the Earth Spirits = Heaven = Valhalla > Italian Social Republic (with Ultimate Mussolini) > Shangri-La > Duchy of Milan (without plague) = Berlin (Divided) > Azeroth (10,000 Years Ago) = Tenochtitlan (pre-sacking) = Russian Federation (without the nukes) > Lilliput = German Empire (Kaiserreich mod) = Nazi Germany (led by Rommel) = Manhattan Commune (with Difference Engine) > Mushroom Kingdom > Byzantine Empire (circa 800 AD) > Romagna (Strike Witches) > Umayyad Caliphate > New Schwabenland = Any of the Stans > Soviet Union (1988) > Helvetia = Switzerland > Kanto = Johto > Philippines = Atlantis (Drowned) > Weimar Republic > Sicily (Arab domination) = Aztec Empire (Ruins) > People's Republic of China (Modern) = European Union > The Moon (Light side only) = Mir Space Station > Dalmatia = Greece (Ottoman territory) = Antioch > Vatican City > Texas > Sarajevo > Confederate States of America (Timeline-191) > Siena = Florence = Genoa > Grand Duchy of Moscow = Novgorod > Puerto Rico = Haiti (pre-earthquake) > Cuba = Argentina = South Africa > The Republic of China (1912) = Airstrip One > Worst Korea > Corsica (Genoese territory) > Surrenderland (France) > The Emerald Isles > Greater Serbia = Best Korea > Cyprus (Greek territory) = Cyprus (Turkish territory) = Italy (pre-Berlusconi) > Dynastic China = Silla > Poland = Israel > Japan (Modern Day) = 4chan = The United States of America (Modern Day)

The last time I went to the movies alone, I nearly died.

It was about 30 minutes until my movie started, so I decided to wait in the lobby area where the movie certificate cashiers were stationed.

About 5 minutes after I sat down a bunch of teenagers walked in and sat down across from me. They acted like regular teenagers, joking, laughing, etc. Then, about 20 minutes from when the moving pictures were to start, the teenagers stopped talking, and started looking at me.

Right then I knew I was fucked. The Alpha Female of the group tilted her head and seductively yelled over the sounds of the cafeteria "Waiting for someone?"

I immediately became aware of my breathing, but I couldn't control consciously it. My brain told my lungs to shut down everything. I would take a short breath, hold it for 20-30 seconds, and then exhale. I was so focused on doing this that I didn't even think to respond, or notice that my arms were convulsing.

One of the teenagers immediately jumped from his chair and asked if I was having a seizure, and asked if I needed help.

I did the first thing that came to mind.

I jumped out of my seat, screamed "NOPE" and then passed out.

When I woke up, I was surrounded by the group of teenagers, all of them laughing. Evidently my zipper was down, and when I fell it jarred my fear boner loose, making it pop out of my pants.

That's about the time the EMTs showed up. They immediately put a towel over my dick, and they were pretty classy about it.

Then they started asking me questions, which I just played off as dehydration.

It was so traumatic that I had to leave before my movie started, though.

So guys, how long do you have to wait for a staff change at cinema? I'm pretty sure the current staff would be able to recognize me if I went back.

>>7970172
>>insinuating I even read this thread and know what you're talking about

Me - 1
Anon - 0

>>7970182

I want to hug a girl, but I can't. I try, and when I try, I am socially retarded. It's my curse, my eternal curse. I want to hug a girl, but I can't! It's my curse, it's my fucking curse! I want to be hugged! Please! Hug me! Pleeeeeeease!