/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I wouldn't mind having those things that splash your anus with water, actually.

I mean, if you dry it with dry paper you're not really cleaning it.

Yeah, I could use one, it would help me with my anal fissure.
But what I really want is the Japanese bath setup. Always thought that's one thing they do right.

>>7958210
You can buy a bidet attachment that fits under the seat.

>>7958239
I don't want to explain my suspicious toilet tube to my landlord if he ever comes over.

God damn water rape toilets, i was once a man worthy of wizard status before i had to use one.

I should never have pushed that red button, if i had only known that was for the "ungodly water beam dildo up your ass" and not flush..

>>7958282
Well, if the crack of your ass was covered in manly ass carpet, you wouldn't have to worry about being raped by water.

>>7958280
I bought a house. Renting sucks.

Besides, if I get tired of living here, I can charge someone too much rent to live here.

damn those japanese toilets..
some even come in built in heaters so they are smoking hot during the winter..

but they are really unnecessary.. just wash your crack everytime you take a shower

>>7958384
That means I have to take a shower after every time I shit.

>>7958401
just.... wipe after you shit.. and wash only during shower..

>>7958384
I poop much more often than I shower though, and sometimes when I wear no underwear I catch this hint of a weird, but not necessarily bad, smell escaping from between my cheeks.

A bidet would stop that.

>>7958410
Wipe? You mean "slather the shit all over my asscrack with paper"? Jesus Christ, you're fucking nauseating.

>>7958417
well.. the bidet doesnt really do much either..
with that little water and pressure, there will still be some shit stuck in places such as your ass hair.. and how they would be wet, making your crack all moist and shitty.

the only way to thoroughly clean it would be with soup and your fucking hand. so if you are so sensitive about have shit on your crack you should just teach yourself to shit once per day and right before you shower.

>>7958417
So which do you have Downs Syndrome or MS. Sounds like you could also have a genetic disorder with your nerves system based on how bad your coordination is if you cant wipe your ass with out smearing it all over your ass. I suggest seeing a doctor.

>>7958431
I remove my anus hair with hair trimmers. If I clean with wet methods no poop particles are left on my ass-buzzcut.

>Ass hair
What sort of barbarian does not shave these days?
You people make me sick.

>>7958436
Be however hostile you want, but fact is that a dry wipe doesn't clean well.

It's similar to how you can't clean your kitchen utensils to hygienic standards with a dry towel.

>>7958438
Hostel? No, im thinking about your health. Its unnatural that you cant wipe your own ass properly. 4 year olds can wipe their ass with out making a mess. You're going to be wearing diapers in a few years unless you get help.

>>7958438
Yeah, but I don't eat out of my ass, so it's fine that my standards for kitchen utensils are a bit higher.

>>7958431
>with that little water and pressure,

I live in a country with a civilized water-pressure. You must live in Mexico or something where you can't flush toilet paper.

>>7958436
All paper does is spread it around, not clean it up, you lazy disgusting shitpile. Bathe, and use soap this time.

Getting damp in the shower isn't "manly".

>>7958448
you've obviously never used a bidet

>>7958463
>another person who cant wipe his ass properly

Now I see why /jp/ never leaves the house.

>>7958467

...says the Mexican.

Bathe, you greasy wet-back.

>>7958463
Protip: Wipe toward your anus, not away.

>have a healthy diet
>never get shit stuck on my crack
>toilet paper is always clean when i wipe

>>7958478
But you still don't clean it up... Most of it gets stuck on the paper, but there's still significant levels of poop on your butt.

>>7958473
Coming from the guy who smells of shit, you sure can project your problems.

You SHOULD stay home. It's great that you don't care that you smell like shit when go out, but us normal people hate having to be polite at you.

>>7958486
At times I wonder if /jp/ gets enough fibres.
Eat your oats, courtesy of /fit/.

>>7958486
I don't even eat OR shit.

I'm fucking perfect.

>>7958491
dont forget your squats faggots

>>7958491
I like my raisin bran.

>>7958493
Psh, I'm not even material. Us Photon posters sneer at you and your "perfect" organic matter.

This thread is pretty shitty.

>Claim to be little girls
>Wont even shave your ass so your boyfriends can eat out of it.

You people are the worst.

Some of us have to wet toilet paper in the sink before wiping.

Thank god the sink is within arms reach of the toilet.

>>7958487
You seam to be missing the big picture here. The idea is not to wipe it all over your ass but to contain it to hits source, the anus. With just a little coordination one can do this with little effort.

You also dont want to reuse the same paper that has shit on it, this will also lead to smearing. Start from the outside and move the paper towards your anus then dispose of it. With as little as 2 strokes you could be done.

Of course if you already have hit all over your ass crack before you start wiping then you have even more issues, like the inability to control your bowl movements. This is not natural either and you should seek medical attention. After a normal one, your shit should be located only on the rim of your anus.

If wiping with paper is causing you to have anything but a clean ass until you get around to daily cleaning then you have bigger problems than the need for a bigot. Bigots are fine but certainly not mandatory. Unless someone regularly eats your asshole, which is disgusting even with a bigot.

>>7958522
>Some of us have to wet toilet paper in the sink before wiping.
im pretty sure you are the only one who does it cause that's fucking nasty

Shit stained assholes is for people with class.

>>7958528
I'd prefer if it was natural be it naturally hairy or not. I like it to be untouched.

I also like it if that person dint wipe beforehand so I can clean out their filthy little anuses~

Alternatively I hope that the stimulation of my tongue licking and pressing in their anuses would stimulate them to poop on my face so I can take in their concentrated love and smear it all over me :3

I wonder if it's awkward at executive-level meetings for toilet companies where they discuss why some toilet design is superior to another.

Do they calmly sit there in their 500$ suits while some dapper careerist describes the optimal movement of poop rushing down tubes?

>little girls
>ass hair
>boyfriends
>not having a scat fetish
>greentext

>>7958533
Get ready to chew and swallow anon!
H-here it comes!

>>7958553
Imagine Chen going to the bathroom really badly because she had some spicy tacos the other night. She sits on your face with your mouth eagerly awaiting your delicious meal she is making for you. She squirms and strains and struggles as her cute little pink anus is flexing and twitching open and close. she lets out tiny little farts that are quite strong and smelly as she giggles and apologizes for them sinking so much. But this only gets your mouth watering for what is to come. she give one more good push and lets out a little cute brown bud that slowly emerges into a thick long and delicious poop log. As she is getting more aroused from the sensation of someone serving as her loyal toilet she says in a lustful yet gingerly manner "itedekimasu unko-san~" As your long awaited meal that has been slow roasted inside her you began to eat gingerly. You can hear Chen breathing heavier as she is about to cum from this ecstasy of pooping in someones mouth. As you chew on the warm delicious product of Chen more comes from her cute butt and plops on your chest. She steps off of the seating apparatus and looks at you eating with lustful eyes. "Mmm that looks tasty~" She slowly encroaches on top of you and takes a deep smell of her meal and starts to slowly rub it all over you while taking the remaining pieces and eats some herself. "I-I can't take it anymore unko-san! I'm g-going to cum~" She then squirts quarts of her female cum juice and coats your entire body with it as you cum in sync to her cumming. She plops on your shit smeared body in complete exhaustion from the immense orgasm as the both of you bask in the afterglow of such a wonderful event. Fancy that.

>Sitting or squatting
Typical barbarians, cant even use a toilet properly.

>>7958540
I don't see why not. It's not like shit is something out of this world.

>>7958563
god thats hot...

i wonder if it smells really bad. would love just a little taste...just a little

This rich family I know had one of these.

>>7958527
A butt wiping artiste` describes how to wipe your ass so that all the wiping point to your anus, but he still has a layer of shit on his cheeks.

"It's a French thing, like using perfume instead of bathing."

>>7958585
Wash cloth. Everyone hygienic uses one. Specially girls these days.

>>7958585
Guess what, there is a layer of shit all over your bathroom and probably your entire house.

>>7958587
Unpossible. I blast everything with piss.

>>7958587
dont even get me started on those fantasies again.

>>7958591
You use the cloth for drying your hands on your ass?!

<HEURK---BLEEEEH!>

>>7958593
Excellent 5 star post /b/rother

>>7958572
P-please dont stare so much!..I.It's embarrassing..

>>7958601
Im not that filthy bastard but I use my washcloth to wash my cock after sitting down at a toilet. That way when I start precumming from looking at porn I an lick it up with out fear.

>>7958572
Just a little taste okay!

>>7958611
Simply wonderful...

Looks like im going to have to fap again after already fapping to this shit a few minutes ago.

God damn, I'd love to masturbate while something is licking my ass.

>>7958706
I'd prefer to lick the ass of a little masturbating girl.

I use baby wipes. They're gentle and offer the cleanliness of a bidet.Toilet paper is disgusting.