/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>go to school
>oh god it's penis inspection day and I haven't prepared my heart
>try to steel my will
>check my pants, I lost my penis
>Try to find it during class
>Dig around in my desk
>Spaghetti falls out of my desk
>Try to hold it back, but everyone sees
>Most embarrassing day of my life
>Burst into treats

>>7882329
Who are you quoting?

>play touhou all day living at home
>mom says to get a job
>get full time job going door to door for donations
>spit at, yelled at, attacked by dogs
>not a single person donated
>day finally over
>don't feel like playing touhou
>go to sleep
>wake up
>have to go back to work
>consider killing myself
>browse /jp/ instead

what the actual fuck? I thought the real world was fun like you guys said. I'd rather be a neckbeard who never leaves the basement.

>>7882324
>>7882329

Same fucking faggot OP.

>>7882333
Ronnie James Dio

>>7882329
I swear I've had that dream before.

>Playing Iris Online
>Hotglue member punches my character
>I feel it in real life
>Realize I'm not in my room playing Iris
>I'm at Gamestop
>Start to cry
>A young girl walks up to me
>Says she's my daughter
>I'm 35 years old
>Begin having a panic attack
>Female cashier starts slapping me
>Spaghetti falls out of my sleeves
>Start blushing
>Fallout: Black Ops display falls down on me
>Hits me in the balls
>Something bursts down there
>Blood on the floor
>I am the everything.
>I never lose my way.
>This is the Black Star kingdom.
>I never lose myself.

Oh wait.

>wake up
>make an awful greentext thread on /jp/
>proceed to go back to my home in /a/v/b/ so that I can wallow in shit some more
>average day as the OP

We're doing greentext threads now?

I first read the second line as "go to the farthouse"

>don't wake up at noon
>don't spend the next 7 hours F5ing /jp/ while considering if I should fap or not
>don't ultimately decide not to
>don't see this thread
>don't reply
>don't kill myself

reported

The OP looks pretty cool actually.
I like the combination of greentext and sanae~

Thinly veiled greentext stories thred.

fuck off

>>7882356

It's just the OP astroturfing his own thread using coppie. No true /jp/ers actually immerse themselves in this shit.

>>wake up.
>>have breakfast.
>>go work.
>>finish work tired and pissed.
>>socilize with other humans and have good time with them
>>that gives me force to keep doing this untl something better pop's up.
>>Do something with my gf until I'm tired or is late enought.

>>7882357
OP is a fart commander, after all.

>>7882324
>>7882329
>>7882336
>>7882350
>>7882364
>>7882374

Get out.

>Walk into gamestop with $60, looking for a game to buy
>While I'm browsing, I notice a fat neckbeard in the corner with a lump in his coat looking nervous
>Think it's just his boner, smile and keep browsing
>Hear the click of a gun, it turns out he's a fucking robber
>He tells everyone that he's gonna shoot up the place if we don't give him money
>The retard at the counter tries to run away, he gets shot at in the back
>The gunman starts shooting up the entire store
>Looking for cover, I jump behind the nearest game rack
>Four bullets hit me in non-vital parts of my body
>Bloody and almost unconscious, I look up to see why nothing shielded me
>"PS3 games and accessories"
>Fall unconscious, wake up in hospital

>>7882324

>call up my girlfriend have orgy.

Normalfags don't do this.

>wake up when my alarm goes off, instead of when I think somebody's hovering over me
>Get dressed, clip cell phone to my belt instead of gun
>Go to nice sane regular boring-ass job that doesn't involve bodachs, brownies, lycanthropes or a single. fucking. goblin.

pff

1. Wake up
2. Shower, coffee
3. Work 9 hours in office
4. Home, shower, dinner, watch TV
5. Sleep

Repeat.

>>7882383


Stop posting OP.

>Wake up
>Go do whatever normals do all day
>come home
>too tired to do anything
>sleep
>repeat

>football
you mean, handegg?

>>7882401
It's football, nerd. No one gives a shit about your obscure euro sports.

>Walk foodcourt for lunch
>See a cute girl sitting all alone
>Sit next to her
>Introduce myself
>Get my backpack
>Unzip it
>Pull a stick of butter and some bread out of it
>Start spreading the butter on the bread
>She starts looking at me weird
>Get really nervous and self-conscious
>Take a bite out of my buttered bread
>Shakily repeat to her "This is my meal that I have prepared for myself. If you don't like it don't be rude about it!"
>She starts laughing
>Get really angry
>Start tearing up
>Face turns red
>Get up
>Throw my butter
>Scream at the top of my lungs
>"THIS IS MY MEAL THAT I HAVE PREPARED FOR MYSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T BE RUDE ABOUT IT, OKAY BITCH?!"
>Turns out I accidentally hit some dude in the head with my butter
>He walks up and beats the shit out of me
>Lying on the ground crying
>Girl kicks me in the balls and calls me a freak

Report submitted! This window will close in 5 seconds...

>>7882383
I applaud you. That was actually funny.

>>7882408
I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.

>>7882408
This is as real as it gets

>wake up
>brush my teeth
>eat some cereal with milk
>go to university on a monday morning
>use the subway to go
>wait for the 7 train
>wait for the next train
>suddenly while waiting at the next platform a midget pushes me aside as the train's door opens
>am very self-conscious so when I am pushed aside I do nothing about it and take it
>girls laugh and point to me in the background
>I start tearing up and blushing
>at this point i'm redder than a beet
>pretend that nothing happened and do that haters gon hate pose
>I trip
>I fall into a puddle of water
>I start crying heavily
>I wet myself
>spagtthei drops out of my pants
>I try to pick it up but I vomit all over it as I hear everyone run away from me
>i look in the train that I missed reflection in the window as it leaves
>I am a bear
>mfw there was a dinosaur walking on the floor right next to me
>as i stop hallucinating the police come and take me away
>they want to fuck
>i think as i wonder what /jp/ is doing at that moment while I am being dragged away to jail
>i think this is owari da for me as I am in jailcell, but i am released the next day but they have sent me an order to go some hospital next week
>mfw I burst into treats as I read this
>mfw when I actually burst into teats when I find out it's the looney bin and not an actual hospital

>>7882445
oh god why

>>7882445
i think its time to stop posting

>>7882408
This actually happened, didn't it? You actually said that, didn't you?

>meet cute girl at the mall
>we make conversation
>shes not really good at it but we smile a lot at each other
>keep telling her about me for a while
>she laughs and I feel connected to her
>take her back to my place
>everything's going so fast
>I pull up her skirt
>start touching her
>take out my dick and put on a condom
>start trying to fuck her
>she's tight as fuck
>Shes loving it, tears of joy everywhere
>I cum
>She lets out a roar
>She's actually a bear
>I grab my shining knight armor on the coat rack and unsheath my sword
>"HAVE AT YE FOUL BEAST"
>I unleash a flurry of furious fury filled swipes
>It's no good
>I run outside my apartment to escape the bear
>I trip and spaghetti falls out of my pants
>The bear gets on the floor, opens the door, and walks the dinosaur
>mfw I look into a taxi's car that was passing by and see my reflection
>mfw I'm actually the bear
>I burst into treats

Why does Sanae look ridiculously appealing besides all this greentext?

Ever since I got a job /jp/ just doesnt make sense anymore, kinda like you guys are speaking another language... ;_;

>>7882479
n-no

This thread is becoming unbearable

>>7882483
>I grab my shining knight armor on the coat rack and unsheath my sword

MY LUNGS. MY FUCKING LUNGS.

>>7882488
Your mind tries to pull you away from the greentext.

>>7882491
Im fighting to stay a /jp/-er but school is changing me...

>wake up
>have IQ of 100
>watch reality TV shows

>wake up
>go to classes
>return to dorm
>do homework
>play video games
>browse /jp/
>report shitty greentext threads
>go to sleep

>>7882502
I still love you all and a part of me still wishes to be the little girl ;_; but...
I have to go to bed... So I can get up for work tomorrow

>wake up by alarm
>shower
>get dressed
>"You'll never guess what's for breakfast!"
>"Pancakes!"
>have breakfast
>go to factory
>do 9 to 5 job
>come back home
>watch tv
>sleep

>>7882507
That's miserable

>>7882516
It is, isn't it?

>>7882514

I don't usually report threads but, holy shit.

>go out to buy some shit for lunch
>walk through the park to get to the supermarket
>2 girls smoking sitting in the park
>1 is a slut I talked to once because she was with a friend
>she jokingly says "bye neighbor" in a sexy voice
>before they start laughing I take out my inner tiger and say "why bye, why not hello"
>sexy face.jpg
>"hello then"
>OH FUCK MAN IT WORKED I CANT BELIEVE THAT SHIT
>want a smoke?
>oh yeah
>I stay there for almost 10 minutes smoking
>I bareley answer yes/no to what they say
>only had 3 seconds of not being socially awkward
>fuck it up
>leave ashamed
>look at the floor every time I walk past one of those girls since then that day
>fuck nigger, I suck
>see them at uni again this week
>one of them goes up to me and tells me "Anon, why won't you look at us again? Are we ugly or something"
>I say "N-n-o it's just"
>"It's just...?"
>I say "It's just that-"
>in the next fleeting moment when I blink I suddenly see the black silhouette of a bear
>I blinkl a few times but it doesnt go away
>i hear a HUGE fucking roar
>i run away as fast i can but the bear is faster
>i fall and then i start to cry because i am about to die but i dont even know why there is a fucking bear in my uni
>as i am about to get slashed spagethhi falls out of the girl's pants as she tackles the bear out of the window in the 3rd story bridge and takes herself out with the bear
>as she falls she tells me I LOVE YOU ANON
>mfw i can't believe what just happened
>all i can do is cry in disbelief
>disbelief that she carried spagetthi in her pants all this time

What a freak, right /jp/?

This is the best thread so far tonight, lets keep it up /jp/

>wake up
>unrequited love
>take a shower
>no time for breakfast
>go to work
>eat on break
>unrequited love
>stop by friend's job
>go eat dinner/grab a few drinks with them
>go home
>unrequited love
>watch tv
>unrequited love
>go masturbate then go to sleep
>rinse and repeat.

Most people posting in this thread are Sudo's IRC friends right?

>>7882540
Even they have standards.

>>7882540
Probably just the same underage fag who thinks the bear shit is funny. Stupidest meme to date.

>>7882540
Nah, never used it.

>>7882543
I thought it was funny the first time I saw it.