/jp/ - Otaku Culture

No, because I want to learn the ways of immortality

3 days after my 153rd birthday I will be taken into a pool of molten metal and immortalized as a statue so that I may last for future generations to know of my greatness.

I have to take over the world first, then I'll consider going to Gensokyo.

2 years...

Maybe 3 if the money holds out...

I wouldn't know, really. Maybe one week, maybe a year. I'm just waiting to despair to take over me, because I can't do it by myself.

there's no way you go to paradise if you suicide.

>>7856538
Oh, I should also say I tried getting one leg over the balcony fence (3F). Scary as shit, as I expected. Could you do jump from 15F, anon?

>>7856541

>there's no way you go to paradise if you browse /jp/

>using a pic of Moemura for implied suicide
You filthy nigger

>>7856607

Forgot your pic, champ.

People who kill themselves are taken to Gensokyo to be used as food for Youkai and Vampires

Is this what you truly want your fate to be?

>>7856622
That is my fetish.

>>7856622
Heed this man's warning. Suicide is a dishonourable death and will only lead you to shame. Only by spilling the blood of your enemies in battle will you be granted safe passage to the human village where you'll be greeted as a hero! Do not die a coward!

you aren't supposed to say it involves death, that kills the mood, ruins the joke, and a real believer would never consider the path to Gensokyou to be fraudulent.

>>7856641
What kind of enemies should I kill? Is it little children? Are little children the enemies?

What if the Religiousfags were right and the afterlife does exist? You're going to burn in hell for all eternity, OP.

Or there could be nothing at all and you cease to exist forever. Death really sucks.

>>7856646
Your enemies are those who seek to rob you of your prize, so you must rob them of their limbs!

>>7856641
Please do not engage in any battles, /jp/.

Valhalla is not a place to take it easy

>>7856652
>What if the Religiousfags were right and the afterlife does exist?
What if the god that does exist thinks suicide is awesome and a cool thing to do? That's just as likely as the Judeo-Christian god existing.

>>7856641
Listen to this man speak! He know the truth, my brothers. SPILL THEIR BLOOD! Come join us in Valhalla, brothers of war! Fall in battle as a mighty warrior and you'll be granted passage to the human village where you'll live as a hero for eternity. They're youkai, demons, and witches trying to devour your soul. Don't be fooled, brothers.

>>7856663
Do they have lolis in Valhalla? What about touhous? How many people do I need to kill to obtain either?

>>7856662
True enough but still too risky. I rather just live a shit life on Earth.

>>7856652

Yeah, but what if they are wrong and in the afterlife those who commit suicide... err... take the portal... are given the greatest reward? Nobody knows! Except, maybe the zombies and vampires of Gensokyou.

>>7856663
>>7856677

I seem to recall a thread in which it was suggested that in Valhalla, the manly warriors become the lolis they had repressed deep down in their hearts and live an afterlife of gentle cuddles and girlish delight.

>>7856677
Anon! Quit letting yourself be bullied by these barbaric intimidating men. Valhalla is out of the question. They won't even let you have any time for yourself! It's all hard work for a battle you have little stake in.

Please think about taking it easy.

ITT valhalla recruitment.

>>7856702
/jp/ - Einherjar Culture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNU9oQWe7cc

>>7856725
I nostalgia'd.

I don't, I'm perfectly happy here. glhf.

I don't know. I wish someone would just do it for me.

>>7856695
Ragnarok is a thousand years away anyway, in between the bloodthirsty murder and rape practice I'm sure they'll let you have a couple of feasts and a few nights with loli valkyries.

I tried everyday, but people on this planet deny me of it. I swear, some day...

>>7856495
you get valkyria lolis in valhala

When my gravy train runs dry.

Women can become Einherjar under exceptional conditions, so chances are that you might become a loli valkyrie yourself and pick up corpses of valiant heroes with a gentle, mature onee-sama whom you look up to.

This is bad thread and OP knows about it.

I plan to open portal in next few months. But still no method.

Killing yourself is something that silly /r9k/ would do.

Maybe in 3 weeks, maybe in 3 months, but the despair is killing me. Also, I would like to cease to exist, not to reincarnate or something like that. Living is such a hassle.

Sometime soon. I'm not doing anything nor do I really want to. My parents should just throw me out already. I'm fucking worthless.

Once that time comes I'll kill myself rather than living as a homeless person. I mean, why be homeless and alive when I'd already be dead inside?
Of course, fortune may actually come into my favor and I'll land a job. Who knows. I doubt it, though. The job market looks more and more grim by the day.

>>7858623
Literally the worst poster on /jp/.

well i wanna stay alive long enough to see if they find some way to live longer or forever

but if i die then it'll be OK, life is hard as HELL and i just wanna sleep forever and do nothing

i wanna live forever but life is hard as HELL? i don't know what to think anymore really, i'm so confused right now. i'll just go where ever the wind takes me i guess.

>>7858647
Hey dude, do me a favor. Post a gif of something cute, please.

>>7858656
erushi is HELLa cute

>>7858664
Thanks, dude, seriously.

I would love to live "forever" and see the rest of the world live "forever". Preferably as substrate independent minds.

However, I don't even consider 'suicide' as a worthy activity because I think it's unlikely it would work from a first-person perspective (since I think MWI is likely true, some forms of quantum immortality can follow from it, although a lot of them are unpleasant in our current form of existence (neuro degenerative diseases are likely)). What I think would be more interesting would be if someone generated a very reliable suicide-like device so those that want to test MWI and use it as a "primitive wish-granting device" could try. However, no matter the type of suicide, it should never be attempted if there are people that still care for you in this world (there tend to be quite a few, even if you're an absolute loner) because you'll make them sad in many worlds (unless you're a psychopath who doesn't care at all about any else's happiness but yours, in which case, there's nothing I can say to that).

>>7858674
uhh ok...

Name is Hades, lord of the dead, your favorite God of the underworld here. I only need a few seconds of your time, I'm a fast talker. You see I got this major deal in the works, a real estate venture if you will. So /jp/, big A, anon, may I call you anon?

Tell ya what, forget that Valhalla business. Real gritty. Ain't good for ya bones, kid, they got you fighting up to the knees. Why not enjoy your mortal time here on Earth? Trust me kid, there's nothing but ghosts and tortured souls of the dead in the afterlife. Nothing pretty.

Alright, so, let's keep this short. I got this deal for you, see. Your..."why-fu"...oh, oh! Waifu, right, right, it's the translators.

Right, so this waifu of yours, I can make her real, turn a pile of dust into your beautiful dream girl, "loli" or older. Bada bing bada boom! Know what I'm getting at? But get this, this isn't even half the thing. She'll unquestionablly love you forever for the rest of your life, no fighting, no arguments, no sad endings, you'll be together, maybe make a baby or two, have the fairy tale life, boom, the end.

So anyway, it's a deal, so I need just a little something in return, nothing big, you don't even use it, you won't miss it, trust me. I just need the contract for the complete ownership of your soul, from death until eternity.

So how about it, anon? I'm breaking my limbs here getting this out to you.

>>7858686
uhh ok...

>>7856725
>Bathory

You have excellent taste in music. Here's another:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dsp0Q4mWAo


This brings up the question, what worthwhile battles are there left to fight in this boring, shitty world? Fighting and dying for jews in the middle of a desert does not count.

>>7858697
I couldn't grant ownership of something that doesn't exist even if I wanted.

>>7858699

>>7858697
What if my waifu is Persephone? Will you allow me to netori your wife?

>>7858647
You might be able to be immortal soon enough with a bit of biological engineering since they discovered the immortal jelly fish.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turritopsis_nutricula

>>7858713
Bang! You got a sharp eye, kid. You won't miss it if it ain't even real, right? You really outwitted me here. Alright, I let you go just this once, just sign the contract here and if you want, I can get you a harem of you sell me the souls of your family and friends.
>>7858721
Relax kid, she'll be made out of thin air just for you. If "net-oar-ray" is your thing, I can make her a non-virgin and you can enjoy her all you want.

>>7858724
It'd be boring if everyone could do it. I want to be immortal alone.

>>7858697
Uh... well I've already split my soul... 7 different ways currently. What can I get with an eighth of a soul? Do you take souls that aren't mine?

>>7858738
Why? It'd suck to see everyone dieing and ageing around you.

Most likely chance is that everyone would get immortality or nobody would get it.

>>7858745
Most likely chance is only select people would get immortality as the cost most likely wouldn't end up cheap. Then you have the matter of over population.

>>7858734
>trustworthy as hell.jpg

>>7858724
They will never reveal the existence of biological immortality. Now that the corporate dystopia is running the world, only the richest and most powerful will ever obtain it, if they haven't already. Our entire world is being fueled by the greed of money, and if you think the only thing that money can't buy is just going to escape to the plebes that easily, you are really retarded.

>>7858745
not >>7858738, but it would be my dream to get immortality and to waste it all as a hermit. A few million years of NEETing sounds very appealing.

>>7858757
see
>>7858749

>>7858749
The common options will likely be (as long as we don't kill ourselves off before inventing them):
1) Biological aging prevention, improved immune system. Not immortality, but at least no death due to old age. Likely doable through some forms of genetic engineering or later on molecular nanotechnology. Neither would be costly after the invention. If you inflate the price artificially it would get "pirated" (generics). Can't put that cat out in the bag. However, population explosions are a problem, but all that you have to do is industrialize the 3rd world countries and the growth will level off, maybe also do some population control like China does. Eventually go to the stars if living at home is too hot.
2)Substrate independent minds. Might be initially costly if molecular nanotechnology isn't developed (so sectioning would be used to scan), but after that your mind would merely require a bit of electrical energy: so little that anyone could get it from just solar energy or most likely how we get our electricity these days (nuclear, coal, water, geo, ...). You would also be able to experience subjective time some 4 orders of magnitude faster, which means much faster progress of society in general, and much faster technological progress.

Actually trying to actively prevent from 1 and 2 being actively deployed will cause huge outrages in society (which will likely end very badly for whoever is on the other side) and you'd have to be one cruel fuck to even attempt it.

>>7858757
No, because biological immortality will require a lot of testing. Besides, most research in both areas are done in the public view right now (mostly academic).

Killing myself is too boring, I'll rather wait to see what will kill me.

>>7858724
Immortality of the biological sort is actually easy on paper but virtually always comes with cancer in complex animals - in fact, immortalizing cells by turning them cancerous is standard procedure, because they don't otherwise survive the sort of abuse biologists regularly put them through. There are cell lines that have outlived their donors for a few decades and are still going strong.

Rather than that jellyfish, which might rather power iPS cell technology, I think turtles are more promising since they're much more similar to humans and their organs do not undergo senescence.

>>7856545
>Could you do jump from 15F, anon?

Are you kidding? I've willingly dove from much higher.
Ever been on top of the McDonnell Douglas offices? 180 feet with no rails fixing a security camera, and I had to climb on top of the stairwell housing at the edge of the building to get up there. I spit my chewing gum off the top to see what kind of weird splat pattern it would make on the ground.

If you're gonna jump to your death, at least reach terminal velocity. You'd never make it in Gensokyo if you're afraid of heights. How do you expect to fly around and danmaku?

I'll do it when I have the chance to make it look like an accident.

>>7856624
This too. But only the vampire part.

>>7856687
>Touhou_Remilia_Coffin.jpg
More, MORE!


And, trough my few years here in /jp/ I've seen uncountable suicidal posts, and now I suddenly wonder if some of those posters really killed themselves.

Sadly, we will never know because suicides are too mainstream to appear on the news.

R.I.P. my dear brethren.

>>7858916
It's sad to think about all the posters on /jp/ who just wanted to take it easy eventually committing suicide and sincerely thinking they were going to Gensokyo.

I would rather live for a million years than be immortal.

Is anyone near nc wanting to go through with it

charcoal/tent takes it very easy, like falling asleep

I'd rather spend my last moments with some bros who dealt with the same shit and want to show up in Gensokyo together. Not to mention I'd probably chicken out if I were alone.

>>7859179
Can I have your stuff?

>>7859149
I bet if they were alive right now you would be scolding them for shit posting.

>>7859195
I'd rather we live out this life of suffering through shitposting and chastising our shitposting together than to have us die alone in sadness.