/jp/ - Otaku Culture

like freedom

Like a bag of sand.

Imagine a giant cock flying towards your mouth, and there's nothing you can do about it. And you're like "Oh man, I'm gonna have to suck this thing", and you brace yourself to suck this giant cock. But then, at the last moment, it changes trajectory and hits you in the eye. You think to yourself "Well, at least I got that out of the way", but then the giant cock rears back and stabs your eye again, and again, and again. Eventually, this giant cock is penetrating your gray matter, and you begin to lose control over your motor skills. That's when the giant cock slaps you across the cheek, causing you to fall out of your chair. Unable to move and at your most vulnerable, the giant cock finally lodges itself in your anus, where it rests uncomfortable for 4, maybe 5 hours. That's what autism is like.

salty milk and coins

>>7773975
This sounds like a wet dream I once had

That's a bit concerning.

>>7773975
Holy fuck. You guys deserve that autism money. That or some good ol' euthanasia.

>>7773979

You wouldn't happen to be typing that from a Mac, would you?

>>7773980

You actually read all that? That's an old copypasta.

Get out.

>>7773975

So that's what it means when someone says that it's your turn to have autism. I hope it's never my turn.

That feel when they discontinued Bionicle

>>7773986
M-make me, bitch!

feels homu homu man

i dunno. i dont got it. i am either a genius or have ADD though. I'm pretty sure I am a genius however. U guys jelly? I never get lonely. Also as genius I have to say. Touhou sucks.

Good day.

If you watch this .gif then you'll be infected with autism.

You will never sniff Homura's pantyhose ;_;

>>7773979
>>7773980
>>7773985
/>>>/a/

That pasta is stale as fuck.

>>7774017
suck my cock dude

>>7774019
Could you be any madder?

>>7774010
Your face sucks.

Also, you probably have ADD.

>>7774012
K-ON is such a high budgeted animu, but looks like they used most of it to wipe their asses.

This is why meduka is superior

>>7774017

Listen fucker. There's nothing in post that suggests I didn't already know that. And that pasta isn't even from /jp/ to begin with; it's from /g/. Why would anyone have to leave if they didn't recognize pasta from a completely unrelated board? That just isn't right. You can take your snide elitism and reaction images and go fuck yourself with them. I am sick to fucking death of you week-old pseudo elitists trying to drive legitimate posters like myself to your home board. Fuck you. I'm not from /a/ and I'm not going back there, and you don't contribute anything worthwhile yourself apart from meaningless bile and unwarranted shitposting to an otherwise orderly and even-tempered board. People like you are the most stagnant, runny type of shit in this gaping cesspit of a website and nobody likes you. Just fuck off already.

/jp/, I am posting this to you in extreme agony. This is no copy pasta, this isn't a stupid post trying to get attention, this is a serious cry for help. I have been faithfull to you, /jp/, for many years, and now I hope you can help me.

I was trying to shave my genitals today, to make them a little more comfortable for summer. I had no razor, so I was using some titanium scissors. Needless to say, I missed and accidentally removed a sizable chunk from the head of my PENIS. I passed out at first, but I woke up an hour or so later, covered in blood. I was able to stop the bleeding...but I wanted to put it back on and hope it would all be better.... I used super glue. It's holdong on there, but theres still blood, and a really bad line around the chunk, and it hurts oh god so bad... I have no medical insurance so I can't go to the doctor, and I live by myself so I can't get anyone else to help.

I need someone on /jp/ who knows something about medical stuff. What can I do? I don't know, if I leave it on there with the glue will it heal itself back on? Help me please, it hurts a lot. I've already taken 4 extra strength tylenol and its not helping...

>>7774068
Oh my god! You need to go to a hospital right away!

Dear /jp/:
I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode.
Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere. I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison.

Dear /jp/, the worst thing has happened just yesterday.

I was sitting there in front of my PC, pants down, fapping to one of the hottest hentai pic I could've ever found on my hard disk, when my mother walked in.

Normally, I would've just tried to hide my erection by pulling my pants back up and pretending to do something else, preferably the least suspicious possible, but not then.

As I was nearing the end of my masturbatory session and couldn't hold it back anymore, I closed my eyes and let myself overwhelm to the orgasm just at the same moment she opened that damned door. I knew I should've locked it, but I believed nobody would've ever bothered entering without asking beforehand.

Thus, being unable to see anything for all the time I enjoyed the, let's say, "warm feeling", I couldn't have noticed she was here since the beginning.

So, yeah, my mother saw me ejaculating till the last drop of semen, and in the lewdest way possible, even.

It was only when I was finally done and did a swift peek to see if I had done any mess on the floor, that I realized her presence.

My heart went right down my stomach at her sight: she was just standing there, staring at me with dismay, then left the room without saying anything. I'm not lying if I admit that, then as now, I just wanted to die due to the huge embarrassment that followed.

My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like shit me. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery shit. One night she pushed me to far.

She was drunk of course and felling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex.

After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea.

I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. i then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in. About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.

The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made allot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip.

She dam near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still shitting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the ****" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left.

I really do kind of miss her though.