/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Reported

Go away you blogging piece of shit.

SJIShorse.txt

All these shitty threads are making me feel physically unwell.

>>7234582
Have you tried downloading a filter or thread hider?

>>7234582
I know what you mean.

I don't have enough money

I can't afford a figure coming out this month but I don't want to cancel it. My life is rough.

>>7234594
When you don't have enough money, the best advice is to try to see if you can replace activities that cost money with ones that don't.
What do you need money for?

I can't stop fapping.
That's not really a problem since it is just a matter of time until I will be able to stop, and yet it's my greatest concer.
I'm happy I guess

>>7234599
Try cutting back on some other things if you want the figure.

How does one take it easy? Amongst all the ignorance and immorality, how can I retain my sanity?

been NEET for a while now, might go to outside world...how the hell do i make friends again?

>>7234603
I know how you feel. Once I spent one month fapping no less than ten times each day. Then my dick started hurting so much I barely could pee. Tie your hands or something, who knows, you might even enjoy it!

I need to lose 5kg to pass as a believable "little girl" or at least to fit into that dress, but I can't!

>>7234607
One word: Apathy. Forget you belong to this world. Analyse everything from an objective point of view. It's like this world is a bad movie. Some call this escapism.

>>7234605
same here, i still have my forskin but now it's all shrivled up and theres extra forskin there, should i cut it off myself or is that normal for people with HEALTHY forskins...

Should I keep helping others and doing the right thing whenever I can even if I accumulate massive amounts of stress, or should I live a laid-back life at the cost of giving up my ideals? The paths diverge, and I'm not sure which to take.

>>7234613
If you really want it, you'll make do somehow. Once I really needed to get thinner, so I kinda became a vegetarian and basically stopped eating fat and other industrialized things. In two weeks I had lost ~3.8Kg with little to no effort.

>>7234617
well i like to help as much as i can, it feels good once you see them accomplish their goal with some of the credit going to you
(i'm talking about games though...)

>>7234608
The best way is through school.
Try taking a cheap class you're interested in at a local community college, and inbetween classes, find a student lounge. You can normally find some people there with nerdy habits. Magic card players, gamers, etc. At first, don't talk too much, just stand around, observe a bit and respond if people talk to you. Eventually, when you feel you're ready, initiate conversations, and from there, use the experience to become more confident and gain friends.

>>7234617
Develop a 2nd personality.
One is a white knight, one is a cunt who doesn't gives a fuck about anything

>>7234617
Helping others is good, but if you become too stressed out, you can't help effectively.
Go down the path where you will help, but remember to back off a bit at times to lower your stress.

>>7234617
Balance it.
Help people that you care about, but worry about yourself as a first priority. Dont worry about morals and that stuff. They are just random poopoo talk to keep people in order. Follow morals and rules that you feel fit. Take it easy when you can, live in the moment.

That sounds...awfully confusing.

>>7234614
I don't understand why people say that escapism is unhealthy.
I couldn't be happy without my own little world in my mind

>>7234617
So, you're basically asking what you should value the most, your ideals or yourself (as in egoism)? The answers are many. One thing is always true, though: Trust in yourself. Your instinct should help you when the shit hits the fan. Meditate for a while, take a nice bath, look at yourself on the mirror, and answer: What do I believe in? You will then know the path of your live, and you will have no regrets when you are dying.

>>7234617
Help others while being an uncaring asshole about it.

>>7234628
okay...i think i can do it! but that leads to the next problem: why can't i make eye contact

>>7234617
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.

>>7234648
"I-it's not like I wanted to help you or anything"

>>7234660
Bitches love tsundere.

>>7234608
Well, I always try to find someone with the same hobbies as mine. In college, for instance, I met my first friend through chess. I'm quite a good player, and he was reading a chess book once. I then timidly asked him if he knew how to play and if he would play with me. The thing then kind of happened.

20 years old living in my parents house and i keep on cutting days out of my work schedule because i no longer want to leave my room. It really sucks but i even started to tell my friends that i don't want to hang out and the only thing i wanna do is watch my anime and play my touhou's. Also my family thinks i'm gay because i'm not attracted to women.

Well thats my rant.

>>7234652
Everybody hates holding eye contact, just look at people but try to stare behind them. It's also okay to look around during conversations.

>>7234617
A comparison.
A combat medic sees many, many injured soldiers. He wants to help them all. However, there are too many for him to transport away in one day, and at night, a shelling will occur at the area that will certainly kill some of the more wounded soldiers, and incapacitate the medic.
The best solution in this would be for the medic to take some wounded soldiers one day, and then retreat, coming back the next day for the remaining survivors.
While some of the soldiers die because the medic was not there, more would have died the next day if the medic was wounded himself.
Use a good balance. Even if you have a "I want to save everyone" mindset and even if you don't care for your own well-being, make sure you keep in mind you can't help anyone in a bad state. For the sake of others, you need to take care of yourself as well. And in dire situations, always try to get help from others.

>>7234652
Try looking at yourself at a mirror. Talk to yourself for a while. You'll notice that, when you pay attention to someone, you end up naturally looking at their eyes. If you don't, pay attention to where you are looking at. If you look at, say, the floor, try to focus on your own voice like all your eroge saves depend on this one sentence. Give all your heart to the speaker.

I want to change the world for the better, but I can't. I always have to hide the kind of person I am because it hurts others but it's burning up inside me, sometimes I want to break stuff because of my inability to do anything, laziness and terrible personality.

>>7234652
Being someone who doesn't make much eye contact myself, let me tell you: While it does make a difference in the business world, as long as a person knows you're talking to them, you can break eye contact once you've established that you're talking to them. It may seem awkward, but most people catch on that you're not comfortable with eye contact.

>>7234671
Well, that's not that bad, but if you feel unhappy about those things what would you make happy?

It's really childish but I still just can't get over the fact that life is meaningless so I just prefer to do nothing.

>>7234672
i see i see! thats what my therapist told me too so it must be true

so i'm going to college soon to learn how to draw in my laptop, am i still NEET?

>>7234686
Nope, please return your /jp/ card.

I know some of you hate reading, but all of you guys should read Der Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse. Hell, if I could identify myself, I'm sure you all can. It's about a person that feels all alone on the world but still lives a bohemian life on bourgeois houses while reading poetry and complaining about our world and our society until something happens.

>>7234679
Don't try to change the world. One person can't do everything.
Instead, try to help the area around you in your own way. Even if the effect on the world at large is non-existent, you are still affecting those around you. Even if you can't fix the world, making those around you happy is still a noble deed, as no man is an island.

>>7234689
damn it i thought so

quick, what is the best UC melee weapon straight out of the shop?

>>7234690
It's not something stupid like "love" is it?

21 yold. I dont have friends because I apparently have some superiority complex and treat everyone as idiots.
I recently left university when I was a year from graduation because I was too scared to face the real world.
I spend my free time fapping and solving 3000 pieces puzzles, which is not bad at all, but still feel like shit and I dont know why...

I can't find the motivation to do anything. My life has been at a standstill ever since I dropped out of college after two semesters. That was six years ago. I find myself trapped in this box call reality where the fantastic and supernatural doesn't exist. I'm more interested in the fictional lives of characters that exist in the anime/manga/vn/game/etc world than living out my own life.

There have been nights where I cried myself to sleep wondering what the fuck I am doing. I wouldn't mind killing myself to relieve my parents the burden of supporting me, but the thought of death scares me. And the thought of my mom being depressed over my death scares me too, since I happened to be a huge momma's boy.

>>7234679
I know how you feel. I want to change the world, but I can't do that alone and no one wants to help a weirdo like me. What can I do, then? Help other people that want to change the world? But what if I want to change the world in another way? I just keep on, preparing myself for the revolution that will never happen. Maybe my life is meaningless. I don't know. I don't want to know.

>>7234703
Humans are social creatures. They need social contact to be happy.

>>7234699
It's, well, somewhat. It's a girl, but most interpretations see that as an escapist thought, much like 2D waifus. But please at least take a look at the summary:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steppenwolf_(novel)#Plot_summary

How do I go about acquiring autism checks from social security?

>>7234699
Not really, no.
This brings up a good point, Hesse is great and I think /jp/ should read more. Not VNs, actual books.

>>7234713
This is kind of bullshit though, not all humans are exactly the same. There are varying degrees of "social contact" that can keep different kinds of people happy and sated.

>>7234693

I still want to be an island. I can't work with others or I inevitably destroy something. I want to be strong enough to do everything on my own, I want to be good enough to shoulder everyone's burdens.

>>7234568
I have wasted 5 years on Touhou and haven't 1cc'd any game yet.

>>7234706
>I find myself trapped in this box call reality where the fantastic and supernatural doesn't exist.

Have you tried LSD or mescaline?

>>7234713
Humans, unlike all other animals, can counter their instincts with rational thought. Consider the implications of that for a while.

This is a VERY GOOD thread. I approve.

>>7234729
Gosh, I'm not saying that this thread is bad, but maybe you should browse /so/ instead of /jp/?

>>7234714
So right when he's at the bottom of his life, a woman pulls him up and helps him get back on track with life. The idea of meeting someone who can change your life so dramatically just isn't realistic to me, at least, so I can't identify with that.

Unless I'm wrong in how I interpreted the end of that summary.

>>7234568
I'm 26 years old, I lost my job 2 years ago due to not being able to keep doing it due to health problems while at the same time I couldn't face my chief and be honest with it about him, so I ran away and never gave them any news.

After that, I've been trying to get a job in any kind of business that I can apply to, but from the few interviews that I've been called to, no one picks me up and if this keeps going on, I'll be living on the street in a matter of months to a year. If that wasn't enough, I still have to do 3 surgeries to fix everything up while the hospital threatens to stop treating me if I don't pay the bills.

>>7234727
Posting on /jp/ is a form of social contact, whether you admit it or not.

>>7234729
Either you or me must get out of /jp/ right now and never return. Sadly, I think both.

>>7234727
Rational thought can lessen the effects of instincts, but for most, the instinct can still have an effect of a person's thought process, even while using rational thought.

I am me. Only I can help myself.

>>7234725
I've never done drugs and I don't plan to. I just don't want to go that route.

>>7234741
You're seeing things too concretely. Did you ever hear about the Anima and the Animus? Better yet, did you play Remember11? Every man has its inner woman, and the Steppenwolf meets his own inner woman that shows him how he really is inside himself through the Magic Theater. Keep in mind Hesse dove deep in psychology.

>>7234737
>>7234746

>>7234745
>>7234748
Exactly. Our instinct remains, but it's really small, so to us the social interactions that happen virtually, though the computer etc, are enough.

I am angry. I am angry because it is rain. This rain give me headache. Spring time bad for this one. I want it be Fall/Winter again.

>>7234760
Nope. I'm >>7234737 by the way.

>>7234727
Rational thought comes after "instinct" is felt, it can suppress it so you don't act on it, it doesn't somehow remove it. You can't really initially affect feelings or emotions with rational thought, only how you act on them.

>>7234745
So is reading a book. Some people can be satisfied with even just that amount of "social contact", not all people want to be social butterflies and in fact may feel unhappy when they try to force themselves into that position.

>>7234752
Why?

>>7234764
Damn, you just made me want to replay Symphonic Rain. It's raining here too by the way, so annoying. Can't the outside noises leave me alone?

>>7234752
Do you drink anything other than water? Congratulations, you take drugs.

>>7234773
I'm not him, but do you mean that pee = drugs?

>>7234741
Oh, I get it. Too bad my inner woman is a naive girl who surfs the skies on a spear saving a world she doesn't understand.

>>7234783
I'd say my inner woman is a timid girl that wants to help people but is too afraid of being rejected by our individualist society, so she strives to help everyone all by herself. The poor little girl. She isn't able to trust even on herself.

Whenever I feel depressed and think lack of social interaction is the cause, I volunteer somewhere. Being with humans for a few days fills me with such revulsion and hate that I can't return to my usual routine fast enough.

I think what happens is that I get a false perception of humanity from books, anime, or TV and then desire to reintegrate with society based on these erroneous beliefs. When I meet with real people the illusion is shattered and my urge to socialize is broken.

>>7234725
I think most /jp/ers would be the most likely people to do non-addictive drugs, if only they could afford them or find where to buy.

>>7234773
Haha, classy. Stop trying to create controversy. Someone might actually believe you here.

>>7234788

I don't know what mine is like. She may be the self loathing part.

>>7234769
I hold myself to this high moral faggotry. I know, not a strong argument, but that's about it.

I think I'm addicted to caffeine. If I spend a day without drinking coffee I can't stop walking in circles, and I'm not able to concentrate on anything, even entertainment is alien to my brain, it only thinks COFFEE COFFEE.

>>7234798
Maybe because this is one of the fews things you can be proud about in this society?

>>7234752
When you start entertaining thoughts of suicide I don't see how it could get much worse. That said, it would probably be impossible for somebody in your position to obtain drugs anyway.

>>7234797
You mean she's emo?

>>7234781
No, I mean that saying "I've never done drugs and I don't plan to" is stupid beyond belief since unless you only drink water and eat bread, you have infact done drugs before. Drugs is a word that people abuse like it means something far more specific than it does, it's only one step above saying "toxins" and "chemicals" like a hysterical soccermom.

>>7234802
I guess. I would think about killing myself, but I would never do drugs. Is that ironic?

>>7234798
How is drug use immoral? I'm genuinely interested.

>>7234798
I don't do any myself because of >>7234793
and that I've told myself I have to earn it first, by entering a stable lifestyle.

I don't know about you guys, but I don't do drugs because I'm afraid that I'll end up doing something stupid that'll make me regret it later. To have no regrets, I need to keep my lucid head and rational thinking at all times. I can't afford to not be sober.

I fell in love with a fujoshi.

Both our families are insane, I sort of got out of mine and tried to encourage her to fix her problem as well, being a little bit conflicting at that(read: I requested her to be honest)
Naturally she hates me now.

I know the solution is fall in love with someone else and I am doing my best to do so, but meeting her and seeing her being a bitch headed towards the inevitable doom of being the rich hikki fujoshi girl is awfully sad. She is starting to alienate her friends and getting new ones and I think it might be because the old ones are okay with me. I did all I could save for harboring her at my house and paying for her food. I don't think I can help her anymore than I did. How do I dealwithit.jpg?

>>7234805

She's more like a drama queen. Every little bad thing done is the worst thing ever and any good done didn't count because of some excuse.

I can't even take /soc/ and /adv/ seriously. This board is much wiser and more helpful.

I know this thread may be off-topic, but I believe it is for a good cause. Godspeed, friends.

>>7234820
Get out, normalfag scum.

>>7234820
>inevitable doom of being the rich hikki fujoshi girl
The problem in this situation is that you're a fucking moron and she has every right to despise you.

>>7234811
Pretty much this >>7234813.

>>7234752
Several drugs such as dimethyltryptamine, morphine and GHB are illegal to possess but are also inherently present in all humans as a result of endogenous synthesis. Since some jurisdictions classify possession of drugs to include having the drug present in the blood in any concentration, all residents of such jurisdictions are technically in possession of multiple illegal drugs at all times

>>7234830
Jealousy is a powerful emotion.

>>7234820
I (kind of) know how you feel. When I was younger, I had a friend that was also suicidal. After she tried to off herself and referenced me in her last will her family moved and prohibited any form of contact between us. I... don't even know where she is now. I've never loved her, but she's, in weeaboo language, my nakama. I, still, weep myself to sleep sometimes because of that, but the way that I've found to kind of get over it is to drown myself in entertainment. I don't know if it's the wrong path, but it's my life.

>>7234820
Compare your current life with the life you used to had while you were with her.
Are you more happy now?
If not, then why?
Do you want to a mere instinct to have such great influence on your happiness?

If you really feel like you can't live without it, then you should either try to win her back or search for a similar person

>>7234820

>fujoshi
>hiki
>old friends
>getting new ones

Good god of fuck where do you even start with this? You are either a tedious normalfag or an even more tedious normalfag-wannabe. Get out.

>>7234858
Why don't you get some friends, try to get laid, do something besides going on 4chan to try and act like a pretentious

shitdick. If you had anybody in your life who actually wanted to listen to what you had to say you wouldn't be doing this, and if

you weren't a complete piece of shit you would realize that nobody is going to read your point of view you faggot. Just stop

or kill yourself, either or is fine with me

Wtf is this topic doing on /jp/?

>>7234864

The weekend.

>>7234864
These are an every day thing really.

>>7234836
I don't give a shit about laws. That's not a part of my personal moral code.

>>7234833
>>7234830
Jokes on you, I believe I very much belong here. I have the unrequited tendency to close myself and if I wasn't forced to work for money through an forced psychological imperative, I would spend ALL of my time in my room, not just all the free time. The friends are also mostly internet-based and I don't see them that often either.

I don't mind being called a jerk, but I still feel pretty butthur over being persecuted for saying what I felt should have been said. It wasn't even much. She went after me until I said she had a problem.

The only problem with being a hikki is the financial problem. If she's rich, there is no fucking problem. Stop being an asshole and trying to fix something that isn't there, no wonder she fucking hates you, retarded whiteknights are fucking pathetic and annoying.

>>7234836
>morphine
>endogenous synthesis
retard detected

>>7234864
/jp/ is more like an isolated community inside 4chan. Here we discuss everything that we find relevant to ourselves, be it in-topic or not. I would never touch /adv/, for instance, but this thread kinda encourages me to share my feelings.

>>7234836
I'm sure you're a troll, but I'll bite. I'm sure that would never stand in all but the most corrupt courts. Simply because the amounts in your blood are nowhere near those needed to cause a change in conciseness.

>107 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

Nope. Time to bring out the tanasinn.

>>7234887

Where were you earlier?

>>7234885
You're a retarded, so is he though.

>>7234891
Care to explain why?

>>7234877
>I said she had a problem
There lies your problem. People usually don't like being told that their hobbies are a problem that need to be fixed.

>>7234858
There are pros and cons.
I was happier then. I am more competent now. I am not yet happy enough from my competency to make for the times when I was unloved and ALSO incompetent, but I might measure for it with time.

Yet, it's beyond my imagination how happy could I have been happy if I actually succeeded then.

>>7234854
I feel you, Anon.

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　　　　　　ヽ∴ ∵∴∵∴∵∴∵：./￣￣ヽ　　.　　tanasinn　　　lﾉ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(＿＿_..ノ.　　　　　　　　 　　　/
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ヽ　　　　　６　　

　 ／

Can somebody help me solve this math problem?

'Find the quotient and simplify the result.'

(x-3)(x+4) / 5x-15
------------- -------
3x^3 15x^4

>>7234900
It's a bad idea to expect a relationship to be succesful for the rest of your life

Picture yourself, in every moment of your life, passing from place to place and time to time. Picture those places and times and picture what happened to them. Has the past gone away when you left it? Is this true, can you not go back? If so, surely this can be the same way for places as it is for time. Imagine that when you leave a room, or simply turn away, a multitude of tiny organisms deconstruct the reality you can't see, and it ceases to exist. At the same time, the organisms weave together a new world wherever you go and for whatever you look at out of the material of that dead reality. This of course implies the back of your head does not exist either. So how does it seem familiar? Because when the back of your head does not exist, these organisms may restructure your brain directly in order to create the feeling of familiarity and of memory.
They do all this, without ever ceasing, out of knowledge passed down by instinct that when you cease to acknowledge reality, they as a whole will cease to exist, because reality is the knowing and they are the unknowing, both in mutual interdependence. In time they may attempt to rewire your brain or body to ensure this does not happen, but it is far more likely just one of them will realize that your brain is just a construct of your thought... and since thought is a product of your brain, that single organism, one of an infinite number of organisms will know it's true purpose is not in line with it's kind.

It's purpose is tanasinn.

Imagine you are reading a book. It is one of those heavy ones that talk about something deep, like social structure or philosophy or theoretic physics. It could even be a really boring novel. The thing is, it has really small letters, in fact they are so small that after some hours of boring reading, the endless series of lines of text start blurring your vision, causing you to skip lines. You try to get your mind together and try to read the next line, but you miss again, reading the same line again and again for two or three times. Getting annoyed by this, you try to look at something else for a moment and resume reading only to take it up at small letters, in fact they are so small that after some hours of boring reading, the endless series of lines of text start blurring your vision, causing you to skip lines. You try to get your mind together and try to read the next line, but you miss again, reading the same line again and again for two or three times. Getting annoyed by this, you try to look at something else for a moment and resume reading only to take it up at small letters, in fact they are so small that after some hours of boring reading, the endless series of lines of text start blurring your vision, causing you to skip lines. You try to get your mind together and try to read the next line, but you miss again, reading the same line again and again for two or three times.

This is tanasinn

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　t　

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　　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　 .＼　 ＼／　 ／
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 　 .＼　 ＼／
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　i　　　　　 .＼　　　　　　a　 ..　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　s　

I'm being very serious right now. I used to always feel depressed and angry, I felt like I was worthless and that everything was meaningless. But then, I heard about tanasinn. At first I thought it was just a joke, but the more I read and the more I learned the more I felt at peace. An inner calmness had come over me, realization, understanding. It was beautiful.

I urge everyone in this thread, yes, you, to read tanasinn.

>>7234877

Your "friend" isn't a "hiki" and neither are you. Stop throwing around terms you have zero fucking understanding of just because your Sankaku friends said it makes you cool.

I started to feel my connection to my body again, faintly, as if through a dark shrouded distant unreal dream, completely alien to me; my body started flexing back, my breathing built in intensity from very slow and very deep to hard, intense, forceful breaths, approaching hyperventilation, seemingly beyond my recognition to control rather than my ability. My body was alien. The physical realm was alien. I couldn't cope with it. I opened my eyes, I sat up sharply, I gasped. Everything seemed alien, but not because I didn't recognize things or people; it was as if I were seeing everything for what it _really_ was rather than how I perceived things as a human with human senses. Everything spoke to me on a different level. I started to panic, the physical realm was alien, my mind was alien, there was nothing of comfort, nothing I recognized as real and true as I'd always known them. I jumped up and accidently stepped on someone's foot. Empathy washed over me in waves, and I couldn't stop apologizing. The owner of the foot, took one look at me and gave me a hug, asked if I needed anything. Speech, words, ideas, I grasped for that part of my mind, struggled to communicate, fell into her eyes, her soul, saw her very inner being, felt her love and compassion wash over me.

I was tanasinn

tanasinn is very important to me. I am a big advocate of the feeling and feeling. I have studied tanasinn for about 6-7 years and am a proud member of the tanasinn-nnisanat Society of tanasinnvania. During my college program semester at tanasinn World, I passed the tanasinn Company's language assessment test, and received a language pin under my tanasinn to indicate that I was responsible and could assist tanasinn guests should they have any inquiries. I study hard every day in order to gain some insight on the lananguage and culture. I have dreams to become either a tanasinn language interpreter for business conferences (the person with headphones and microphone that sits in the little glass booth and simultaneously translates what the person is saying), 今∴山●∵ﾐひど(･)tanasinnっ●∵す
(･)∵∴∵∵されく●ぁwせｄじこｌｐ；：「たり∵(･)∴●∵わ∵くぁ●wた

り
け(･)∵どtanasinn(･)∵∴∵●わヽ!∵∴∵ﾐ●ﾘﾉ!/ﾘま(･)ん、
∴人<・>女､●ぃの∵(･)∴∵(･)で●す、∵∴(･)∵∵/ﾘ●らがtanasin
nｆｔｇｙふじで●｡
でも●そ∵∴な(･)人メ●　∵∴tanasinnが定(･(･))しす
∵の名∵(･)これ●か | '`-イ∴(･)のイ●け<・>て●くメ∵(･)∵くぁ(･)wせ●ｄｒｆｔｇｙふじ

●こｌｐ；：「
でイ∵(･)●が変(･)どtanasinn∵(･)∴なこ　∵∴(･)
●の∴∵底<・>ｄi●i;|;_ﾞιｆ的∵●ぬ(･)tanasinn∵
こ∵まtanasinnばく(･)ぁw；：「い●∵∴(･)∵∵たてtanasinnし●(･)/ﾘらす
∵●∵(･)∴助●け●∵て∵(･)∵●し●∵
世∵のtanasinnの∵(･)∴れtanasinn<・>ら●を(･)tanasinnし∵∴●い∴(･)

>>7234924
GUESS WHAT FAGGOT?

HIKKI MEANS SHUT-IN

THAT IS IT

IT'S NOT A SUPER SECRET COOL JAPANESE WORD NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF RETARDED DEFINITION THE GOVERNMENT HAS FOR THEIR STATISTICS REPORTS

EVERYONE IN JAPAN SAYS HIKKI AS SHUTIN BECAUSE THEY ARE LITERALLY THE SAME THING

­

tanasinn operates the whole world.
tanasinn is the soul of the universe.
tanasinn is the bottom of your heart.
tanasinn transcends surrealism and realism.
tanasinn is inherent in every self.
tanasinn is inherent in every structure.
tanasinn is inherent in every system.
tanasinn is decadent and may cause self-collapse.
tanasinn vacumeir alles
tanasinn plays with all elements
The Messenger of fear
The Child of darkness and confusion
The King of infinite decomposition
The Khaos

Ｔａｎａｓｉｎｎ

­

Imagine a giant penis flying towards your mouth, and there's nothing you can do about it. And you're like "Oh man, I'm gonna have to suck this thing", and you brace yourself to suck this giant penis. But then, at the last moment, it changes trajectory and hits you in the eye. You think to yourself "Well, at least I got that out of the way", but then the giant penis rears back and stabs your eye again, and again, and again. Eventually, this giant penis is penetrating your gray matter, and you begin to lose control of your motor skills. That's when the giant penis slaps you across the cheek, causing you to fall out of your chair. Unable to move and at your most vulnerable, the giant penis finally lodges itself in your anus, where it rests uncomfortably for 4, maybe 5 hours. That's what tanasinn is like.

­

­

>>7234924
>Sankaku friends
Wow, I don't even want to know what that's like.

Seriously though, this thread makes me feel like playing a little clearer and more easily readable role in the absurd theatre that is /jp/, so instead of hikki... let's say 'social parasite'.

­

Be sure to spam some of those touhou shitpost threads once you're done here.

­

>>7234947
I thought you said she was rich. Which one fucking is it? Stop switching stories, asshole

­

C'mon guys, this thread is good. Let's not go in the realm of ad hominem, shall we?

∧＿∧　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　（∵∴∵(･) ）　　　　　　　　

　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（∵∴∵∴）　　　　　　

　 　
人∴∵Y　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 （∴（∵∴）　　　　　　　　　
＿＿＿＿∧＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
＿
今∴山●∵ﾐひど(･)tanasinnっ●∵す
(･)∵∴∵∵されく●ぁwせｄじこｌｐ；：「たり∵(･)∴●∵わ∵くぁ●wた

り
け(･)∵どtanasinn(･)∵∴∵●わヽ!∵∴∵ﾐ●ﾘﾉ!/ﾘま(･)ん、
∴人<・>女､●ぃの∵(･)∴∵(･)で●す、∵∴(･)∵∵/ﾘ●らがtanasin
nｆｔｇｙふじで●｡
でも●そ∵∴な(･)人メ●　∵∴tanasinnが定(･(･))しす
∵の名∵(･)これ●か | '`-イ∴(･)のイ●け<・>て●くメ∵(･)∵くぁ(･)wせ●ｄｒｆｔｇｙふじ

●こｌｐ；：「
でイ∵(･)●が変(･)どtanasinn∵(･)∴なこ　∵∴(･)
●の∴∵底<・>ｄi●i;|;_ﾞιｆ的∵●ぬ(･)tanasinn∵
こ∵まtanasinnばく(･)ぁw；：「い●∵∴(･)∵∵たてtanasinnし●(･)/ﾘらす
∵●∵(･)∴助●け●∵て∵(･)∵●し●∵
世∵のtanasinnの∵(･)∴れtanasinn<・>ら●を(･)tanasinnし∵∴●い∴(･)

>>7234717
Hesse is my favorite author and I identified myself in Steppenwolf too. In a big way, it was almost creepy. I also identified myself with Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces too.

/jp/ should read more, especially Hesse.

­

>>7234960
>ad hominem
THAT IS NOT WHAT AD HOMINEM MEANS YOU FUCKING PSEUDOINTELLECTUAL IMBECILE

Picture in your mind a massive yellow phone book.

In this phone book is a name, number and address for every human being alive, that has ever lived, and ever will live, along with an equivalent number of pages in the business directory.

This phone book is on an old wooden table in a concrete room with no doors or windows.

You are trapped in the room and have a compulsion to read the phone book. You have now read through it cover-to-cover five-thousand, seven-hundred, thirty-one times. Your hands are pale from the lack of sunlight. Your hands are covered in scars from paper cuts. Your hands resemble the surface of Europa. You reach for the phone book one more time and flip through the pages like a picture book. As you flip through the pages at high-speed, the names and numbers form an image of yourself, staring back at you with a corrupted smile. The skin on your hands is now in shreds, the razor edges of the phone book having revealed bare bone, to which you are oblivious as you watch images dance on thin, colored-coded pages.

You have now flipped through the book eleven-thousand, eight-hundred, sixty-eight times.

This is what tanasinn is like.

I'm worried over whether or not I will be able to pass this shitty class that I fucking hate. It's not that the class is hard, it's that the teacher is a logically impaired, bleeding heart retard and sitting through the class for 3 hours of propaganda will probably cause problems due to my blood boiling. All I can hope to do is tell the bitch what she wants to hear on this obnoxious portfolio project and hope for the best.

>>7234960
In what way is this not the worst thread currently on /jp/?

>>7234972
lol irony

Picture, if you will, an infinite number of monkeys. Each monkey is seated at a typewriter. Row upon row upon endless row of typewriters, stretching out into an unfathomable white infinity. These monkeys will, at random, strike keys on their typewriter with their clumsy simian hands and feet for the rest of eternity or until they produce the complete works of William Shakespeare, which ever comes first.
Now imagine a monkey drinking it's own urine.

That is what tanasinn is like.

­

>>7234883
>It has been firmly established that humans excrete a small but steady amount of the isoquinoline alkaloid morphine in their urine. It is unclear whether it is of dietary or endogenous origin. There is no
doubt that a simple isoquinoline alkaloid, tetrahydropapaveroline (THP), is found in human and rodent brain as well as in human urine. This suggests a potential biogenetic relationship between both
alkaloids.

http://www.pnas.org/content/107/18/8147

>This finding adds information which suggests that morphine biosynthesis may occur in rat neural tissues, and that its biosynthesis pathway may be similar to that reported in the poppy plant.

Presence of reticuline in rat brain: a pathway for morphine biosynthesis, Wei Zhou et al (2003).

I want to be the best, there ever was
To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause!

Radiatore, Pipe, Barbina, Manti
Quadrefiore, Rigate, Fiori, Pici
Stelle, Orzo, Pearl Pasta, Ditali
Pastina, Mezzelune, Fregula, Ravioli!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

I'll search across the land, look far and wide
Release from my hand, the power that's inside!

­

>>7234963
Did you read Kafka too, by chance?

I actually made an acquaintance who's a decent person. He doesn't follow normals and their disgusting ways, and knows how to take it easy. It's a shame he has Aspergers and kinda tends to ramble on about things, and everyone hates him for it. At least it's easier for me to be a social retard and not have him care or judge me in the least. Holy crap, /jp/, I'm so happy I finally met a decent person. I had no idea they still existed. ;_;

­

You know, I always wanted a Cardcaptor Sakura parody with a scientific bend, where instead of a bunch of cards some pedophile wizard created for his twisted enjoyment (seriously, why does the card specifically designed to wash him look like a ten year old girl? And good heavens, Clow Reed, being too lazy to wash yourself is slovenly even by /jp/ standards.) Sakura/another magical girl accidentally the whole laws of nature, since the laws of nature are conveniently stored in a single book and put into the reach of a ten year old girl.

So instead of the Earthy, the Fly, the Jump and so on, she'll have to fight and subdue cards like the Thermodynamics (four little girls, one for each law of thermodynamics obviously), the Natural Selection, the Le Chatelier's Principle and so on. Of course, since those cards can freely alter the scientific law they govern, she has to pull Jojo-style elaborate plans to capture them, such as kicking the Thermodynamics to the space using the Gravity, where there isn't much heat for the former card to use. She is assisted in her quest by Newton and Leibniz, fluffy animal mascots who eventually turn out to really be those Newton and Leibniz. Unlike Cerberus and Yue, both of them serve her from the beginning, but they're not much help because all they do is bickering constantly about who invented calculus.

There should be yuri too, because it is an unspoken law that magical girl shows should have yuri, and both Newton and Leibniz's reactions to it should be gold since they're good Christians. I dislike how Syaoran turned out, especially since as of Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles there's a few hundred copies/reincarnations of him running around.

>>7234979
That wouldn't be ironic even if your horribly flawed understanding of ad hominem was true.

­

>>7234975
I know what you mean. I have a dynamics professor that's freaking retarded. It's like we can't even blink or else we're insulting his intellect and reducing his importance to the world of forming new minds. Egotistical prick.

­

Start with a cage containing five monkey. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, one of the monkeys will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, then, all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairs. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, and then a fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not?

Because Otaku Culture.

­

>>7234999
Yeah, of course. The time I spend when I am not on /jp/ or playing VNs, STGs etc is spent reading.

Waiting warmly for 1Q84 in October.

­

>>7234955
When you say "rich girl" then obviously you are talking about rich daddy's girl, not an woman at work.

In this case he is rich and happens to be insane so she isn't his girl, but still gets money from him, because why not when he gives.
He has two big houses and could feed two families and will be able to take care of her, but I still hate the idea.

>>7235002
It seems like most decent people are what the normals call "crazy". Funny, isn't it? Maybe we're kind of like it too.

>>7235023
1Q84 is already out over here

I hope OP makes another thread just to get under the spammer's skin.

Wow this thread is so good, I think I'm going to bump it.

The constant spamming made this thread even better!

>>7235010
>FUCKING PSEUDOINTELLECTUAL IMBECILE

How is this not an ad hominem?

>>7235030
Nice fucking word salad, is English your third language?

So, there’s a man crawling through the desert.

He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here.

He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he’d paid attention to the sun and thought he’d figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he’d be back to the small town he’d gotten gas in last.

He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he’s afraid that he’ll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So, he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication later, brings an umbrella he’d had in the back of the SUV with him to give him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the direction he thinks is right.

>>7235023
How nice. I thought I was alone. What did you think about The Castle?

>>7235043
He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he’s really thirsty. He’s been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He’s reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket

is really getting tempting now. He knows that it’s mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to

it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst.

He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark.

By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he’s been walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours. That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to the town. But he doesn’t recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn’t remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he’s close, and that after dark he’ll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills, and that’ll be all he needs.

>>7235052
As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things, he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights.

Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back up and turns all the way around. He sees nothing but stars.

He wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely lousy. His eyes are gummy and his mouth and nose feel like they’re full of sand. He so thirsty that he can’t even swallow. He barely got any sleep because it was so cold. He’d forgotten how cold it got at night in the desert and hadn’t noticed it the night before because he’d been in his car.

He knows the Rule of Threes – three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food – then you die. Some people can make it a little longer, in the best situations. But the desert heat and having to walk and sweat isn’t the best situation to be without water. He figures, unless he finds water, this is his last day.

̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏
̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏

>>7235060
He rinses his mouth out with a little of the windshield wiper fluid. He waits a while after spitting that little bit out, to see if his mouth goes numb, or he feels dizzy or something. Has his mouth gone numb? Is it just in his mind? He’s not sure. He’ll go a little farther, and if he still doesn’t find water, he’ll try drinking some of the fluid.

Then he has to face his next, harder question – which way does he go from here? Does he keep walking the same way he was yesterday (assuming that he still knows which way that is), or does he try a new direction? He has no idea what to do.

Looking at the hills and dunes around him, he thinks he knows the direction he was heading before. Just going by a feeling, he points himself somewhat to the left of that, and starts walking.

As he walks, the day starts heating up. The desert, too cold just a couple of hours before, soon becomes an oven again. He sweats a little at first, and then stops. He starts getting worried at that – when you stop sweating he knows that means you’re in trouble – usually right before heat stroke.

>>7235039
an ad hominem is when you solely base your claims on personal attacks, not when you do personal attacks aside from your claims.

tl;dr: someone can make personal attacks without it being an ad-hominem

    ̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏̏
̏̏̏̏ 

>>7235067
He decides that it’s time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can’t wait any longer – if he passes out, he’s dead. He stops in the shade of a large rock, takes the bottle out, opens it, and takes a mouthful. He slowly swallows it, making it last as long as he can. It feels so good in his dry and cracked throat that he doesn’t even care about the nasty taste. He takes another mouthful, and makes it last too. Slowly, he drinks half the bottle.

He figures that since he’s drinking it, he might as well drink enough to make some difference and keep himself from passing out.

He’s quit worrying about the denaturing of the wiper fluid. If it kills him, it kills him – if he didn’t drink it, he’d die anyway. Besides, he’s pretty sure that whatever substance they denature the fluid with is just designed to make you sick – their way of keeping winos from buying cheap wiper fluid for the ethanol content. He can handle throwing up, if it comes to that.

He walks. He walks in the hot, dry, windless desert. Sand, rocks, hills, dunes, the occasional scrawny cactus or dried bush. No sign of water. Sometimes he’ll see a little movement to one side or the other, but whatever moved is usually gone before he can focus his eyes on it. Probably birds, lizards, or mice. Maybe snakes, though they usually move more at night. He’s careful to stay away from the movements.

>>7235069
I might be mistaken, but a personal attack is not a counter-argument in any way. Arguing otherwise is what constitutes an ad hominem e.g. "He is young, so he doesn't knows what he is saying".

>>7235071
After a while, he begins to stagger. He’s not sure if it’s fatigue, heat stroke finally catching him, or maybe he was wrong and the denaturing of the wiper fluid was worse than he thought. He tries to steady himself, and keep going.

After more walking, he comes to a large stretch of sand. This is good! He knows he passed over a stretch of sand in the SUV – he remembers doing donuts in it. Or at least he thinks he remembers it – he’s getting woozy enough and tired enough that he’s not sure what he remembers any more or if he’s hallucinating. But he thinks he remembers it. So he heads off into it, trying to get to the other side, hoping that it gets him closer to the town.

He was heading for a town, wasn’t he? He thinks he was. He isn’t sure any more. He’s not even sure how long he’s been walking any more. Is it still morning? Or has it moved into afternoon and the sun is going down again? It must be afternoon – it seems like it’s been too long since he started out.

He walks through the sand.

>>7235069
i love this thing it is so great im mean great and naruto realy deserves sakura hes liked her for ever im mean the firs or seconed episode u can figer it out imean realy if u dont think this than u have no right to even whatch naruto he's so perfict for her ad i cant waight tell naruto is the sixth hokaga a looked it on google he will be thi sixth hokage and sakura's hi's wife thare so perficte imean naruto and he not are cute but naruto and sakura are perfict

>>7235076
>I might be mistaken, but a personal attack is not a counter-argument in any way.

That's why it's considered a fallacy

>>7235078
After a while, he comes to a big dune in the sand. This is bad. He doesn’t remember any dunes when driving over the sand in his SUV. Or at least he doesn’t think he remembers any. This is bad.

But, he has no other direction to go. Too late to turn back now. He figures that he’ll get to the top of the dune and see if he can see anything from there that helps him find the town. He keeps going up the dune.

Halfway up, he slips in the bad footing of the sand for the second or third time, and falls to his knees. He doesn’t feel like getting back up – he’ll just fall down again. So, he keeps going up the dune on his hand and knees.

While crawling, if his throat weren’t so dry, he’d laugh. He’s finally gotten to the hackneyed image of a man lost in the desert – crawling through the sand on his hands and knees. If would be the perfect image, he imagines, if only his clothes were more ragged. The people crawling through the desert in the cartoons always had ragged clothes. But his have lasted without any rips so far. Somebody will probably find his dessicated corpse half buried in the sand years from now, and his clothes will still be in fine shape -shake the sand out, and a good wash, and they’d be wearable again. He wishes his throat were wet enough to laugh. He coughs a little instead, and it hurts.

>>7235051
is so beatiful me encanta esta parejita is totalmente hermosa :') me hace llorar de alegria y me encantan las imagenes donde las conseguistes?? yo quiero tenerlas pliz me das la pagina porque estan simplente hermosas y el video sin comentarios no hay palabras de explicacion para este video maravilloso sasunaru ♥♥♥♥

>>7235039
An insult is not an ad hominem.

Here is an example of what is not an ad hominem: "Fred is a fucking asshole."

Here is an example of what is an ad hominem: "We shouldn't listen to Fred. He's a fucking asshole."

>>7235084
He finally makes it to the top of the sand dune. Now that he’s at the top, he struggles a little, but manages to stand up and look around. All he sees is sand. Sand, and more sand. Behind him, about a mile away, he thinks he sees the rocky ground he left to head into this sand. Ahead of him, more dunes, more sand. This isn’t where he drove his SUV. This is Hell. Or close enough.

Again, he doesn’t know what to do. He decides to drink the rest of the wiper fluid while figuring it out. He takes out the bottle, and is removing the cap, when he glances to the side and sees something. Something in the sand. At the bottom of the dune, off to the side, he sees something strange. It’s a flat area, in the sand. He stops taking the cap of the bottle off, and tries to look closer. The area seems to be circular. And it’s dark – darker than the sand. And, there seems to be something in the middle of it, but he can’t tell what it is. He looks as hard as he can, and still can tell from here. He’s going to have to go down there and look.

He puts the bottle back in his pocket, and starts to stumble down the dune. After a few steps, he realizes that he’s in trouble – he’s not going to be able to keep his balance. After a couple of more sliding, tottering steps, he falls and starts to roll down the dune. The sand it so hot when his body hits it that for a minute he thinks he’s caught fire on the way down – like a movie car wreck flashing into flames as it goes over the cliff, before it ever even hits the ground. He closes his eyes and mouth, covers his face with his hands, and waits to stop rolling.

>>7235088
He stops, at the bottom of the dune. After a minute or two, he finds enough energy to try to sit up and get the sand out of his face and clothes. When he clears his eyes enough, he looks around to make sure that the dark spot in the sand it still there and he hadn’t just imagined it.

So, seeing the large, flat, dark spot on the sand is still there, he begins to crawl towards it. He’d get up and walk towards it, but he doesn’t seem to have the energy to get up and walk right now. He must be in the final stages of dehydration he figures, as he crawls. If this place in the sand doesn’t have water, he’ll likely never make it anywhere else. This is his last chance.

He gets closer and closer, but still can’t see what’s in the middle of the dark area. His eyes won’t quite focus any more for some reason. And lifting his head up to look takes so much effort that he gives up trying. He just keeps crawling.

Finally, he reaches the area he’d seen from the dune. It takes him a minute of crawling on it before he realizes that he’s no longer on sand – he’s now crawling on some kind of dark stone. Stone with some kind of marking on it -a pattern cut into the stone. He’s too tired to stand up and try to see what the pattern is – so he just keeps crawling. He crawls towards the center, where his blurry eyes still see something in the middle of the dark stone area.

>>7235069
Wrong couple? me thinks you have the wrong vid. SasuNaru is so...Kya! Oh gawd, I hope noone thinks I'm a sakura fan now...-runs to wash out mouth with turpintine.-

>>7235060
I agree, totally. I can't prove this, but I heard somewhere that the creators are thinking about ending the Naruto series with a Sasunaru ending. can't provbe it, but that is what I heard. I hope it's true though cuz they are so great together.

>>7235092
His mind, detached in a strange way, notes that either his hands and knees are so burnt by the sand that they no longer feel pain, or that this dark stone, in the middle of a burning desert with a pounding, punishing sun overhead, doesn’t seem to be hot. It almost feels cool. He considers lying down on the nice cool surface.

Cool, dark stone. Not a good sign. He must be hallucinating this. He’s probably in the middle of a patch of sand, already lying face down and dying, and just imagining this whole thing. A desert mirage. Soon the beautiful women carrying pitchers of water will come up and start giving him a drink. Then he’ll know he’s gone.

He decides against laying down on the cool stone. If he’s going to die here in the middle of this hallucination, he at least wants to see what’s in the center before he goes. He keeps crawling.

It’s the third time that he hears the voice before he realizes what he’s hearing. He would swear that someone just said, “Greetings, traveler. You do not look well. Do you hear me?”

>>7235069
What other argument do you make aside from the personal attack?

I just want someone to love and someone to love me back!! I am so lonely!! Help me /jp/!!

>>7235086
I see. I can understand how this discussion didn't use it. Insults were thrown, but they weren't claimed to be valid arguments.

>>7235084
Hmmm I never thought about a naruto/sasuke couple... very kawaii!! although, it looks like the seme is sasuke.... hmmm... i think thats right, wonder if it was swiched.... i can see it both ways.

>>7235097
He stops crawling. He tries to look up from where he is on his hands and knees, but it’s too much effort to lift his head. So he tries something different – he leans back and tries to sit up on the stone. After a few seconds, he catches his balance, avoids falling on his face, sits up, and tries to focus his eyes. Blurry. He rubs his eyes with the back of his hands and tries again. Better this time.

Yep. He can see. He’s sitting in the middle of a large, flat, dark expanse of stone. Directly next to him, about three feet away, is a white post or pole about two inches in diameter and sticking up about four or five feet out of the stone, at an angle.

And wrapped around this white rod, tail with rattle on it hovering and seeming to be ready to start rattling, is what must be a fifteen foot long desert diamondback rattlesnake, looking directly at him.

He stares at the snake in shock. He doesn’t have the energy to get up and run away. He doesn’t even have the energy to crawl away. This is it, his final resting place. No matter what happens, he’s not going to be able to move from this spot.

>>7235102
Regarding your opinion, I think sasunaru is such a good couple...wait no...amazing couple. this video made me sad and happy. it made me wish i had a guy that would hold me no matter wat and that would kiss me even n public. I love this couple.

>>7235086
Naruto +Linking Park = Best Combo Ever O.o

>>7235104
Well, at least dying of a bite from this monster should be quicker than dying of thirst. He’ll face his end like a man. He struggles to sit up a little straighter. The snake keeps watching him. He lifts one hand and waves it in the snake’s direction, feebly. The snake watches the hand for a moment, then goes back to watching the man, looking into his eyes.

Hmmm. Maybe the snake had no interest in biting him? It hadn’t rattled yet -that was a good sign. Maybe he wasn’t going to die of snake bite after all.

He then remembers that he’d looked up when he’d reached the center here because he thought he’d heard a voice. He was still very woozy – he was likely to pass out soon, the sun still beat down on him even though he was now on cool stone. He still didn’t have anything to drink. But maybe he had actually heard a voice. This stone didn’t look natural. Nor did that white post sticking up out of the stone. Someone had to have built this.

Maybe they were still nearby. Maybe that was who talked to him. Maybe this snake was even their pet, and that’s why it wasn’t biting.

He tries to clear his throat to say, “Hello,” but his throat is too dry. All that comes out is a coughing or wheezing sound. There is no way he’s going to be able to talk without something to drink. He feels his pocket, and the bottle with the wiper fluid is still there. He shakily pulls the bottle out, almost losing his balance and falling on his back in the process. This isn’t good. He doesn’t have much time left, by his reckoning, before he passes out.

What is happening in this thread?

>>7235086
Some good action scenes in the vid ;) I rate the VID 3/5. I rate the song 5/5 of course though. ^_^ Practice makes perfect! But I liked it though. Naruto is awesome and as I said before, there were lots of good action scenes in your vid ^_^

Vid + song I'm gunna rate 5/5 because I'm a huge Linkin Park fan.

>>7235121
Shitposting. From the start till the very last post.

>>7235121
Spam and remains of a discussion.

>>7235121
didn't you read OP?
It's a group therapy. Folks are just letting out some steam, keeping shitposters away from serious threads

>>7235123
>>7235114

You are visibly upset.

>>7235117
He gets the lid off of the bottle, manages to get the bottle to his lips, and pours some of the fluid into his mouth. He sloshes it around, and then swallows it. He coughs a little. His throat feels better. Maybe he can talk now.

He tries again. Ignoring the snake, he turns to look around him, hoping to spot the owner of this place, and croaks out, “Hello? Is there anyone here?”

He hears, from his side, “Greetings. What is it that you want?”

He turns his head, back towards the snake. That’s where the sound had seemed to come from. The only thing he can think of is that there must be a speaker, hidden under the snake, or maybe built into that post. He decides to try asking for help.

“Please,” he croaks again, suddenly feeling dizzy, “I’d love to not be thirsty any more. I’ve been a long time without water. Can you help me?”

>>7235129
Kinda like bowels, am I right?

>>7235099
Whatever example:

Ad-hominem: "This VN sucks cause all its fans are shitposters"

Not ad-hominem: "This VN's plot is full of holes and sucks. [...] The fans are shitposters"

>>7235136
Looking in the direction of the snake, hoping to see where the voice was coming from this time, he is shocked to see the snake rear back, open its mouth, and speak. He hears it say, as the dizziness overtakes him and he falls forward, face first on the stone, “Very well. Coming up.”

A piercing pain shoots through his shoulder. Suddenly he is awake. He sits up and grabs his shoulder, wincing at the throbbing pain. He’s momentarily disoriented as he looks around, and then he remembers – the crawl across the sand, the dark area of stone, the snake. He sees the snake, still wrapped around the tilted white post, still looking at him.

He reaches up and feels his shoulder, where it hurts. It feels slightly wet. He pulls his fingers away and looks at them – blood. He feels his shoulder again – his shirt has what feels like two holes in it – two puncture holes -they match up with the two aching spots of pain on his shoulder. He had been bitten. By the snake.

“It’ll feel better in a minute.” He looks up – it’s the snake talking. He hadn’t dreamed it. Suddenly he notices – he’s not dizzy any more. And more importantly, he’s not thirsty any more – at all!

>>7235146
“Have I died? Is this the afterlife? Why are you biting me in the afterlife?”

“Sorry about that, but I had to bite you,” says the snake. “That’s the way I work. It all comes through the bite. Think of it as natural medicine.”

“You bit me to help me? Why aren’t I thirsty any more? Did you give me a drink before you bit me? How did I drink enough while unconscious to not be thirsty any more? I haven’t had a drink for over two days. Well, except for the windshield wiper fluid… hold it, how in the world does a snake talk? Are you real? Are you some sort of Disney animation?”

“No,” says the snake, “I’m real. As real as you or anyone is, anyway. I didn’t give you a drink. I bit you. That’s how it works – it’s what I do. I bite. I don’t have hands to give you a drink, even if I had water just sitting around here.”

The man sat stunned for a minute. Here he was, sitting in the middle of the desert on some strange stone that should be hot but wasn’t, talking to a snake that could talk back and had just bitten him. And he felt better. Not great – he was still starving and exhausted, but much better – he was no longer thirsty. He had started to sweat again, but only slightly. He felt hot, in this sun, but it was starting to get lower in the sky, and the cool stone beneath him was a relief he could notice now that he was no longer dying of thirst.

>>7235142
I don't think a VN is a person you can make an attack against. Unless my dreams about VN-tans were all true.

>>7235151
“I might suggest that we take care of that methanol you now have in your system with the next request,” continued the snake. “I can guess why you drank it, but I’m not sure how much you drank, or how much methanol was left in the wiper fluid. That stuff is nasty. It’ll make you go blind in a day or two, if you drank enough of it.”

“Ummm, n-next request?” said the man. He put his hand back on his hurting shoulder and backed away from the snake a little.

“That’s the way it works. If you like, that is,” explained the snake. “You get three requests. Call them wishes, if you wish.” The snake grinned at his own joke, and the man drew back a little further from the show of fangs.

“But there are rules,” the snake continued. “The first request is free. The second requires an agreement of secrecy. The third requires the binding of responsibility.” The snake looks at the man seriously.

“By the way,” the snake says suddenly, “my name is Nathan. Old Nathan, Samuel used to call me. He gave me the name. Before that, most of the Bound used to just call me ‘Snake’. But that got old, and Samuel wouldn’t stand for it. He said that anything that could talk needed a name. He was big into names. You can call me Nate, if you wish.” Again, the snake grinned. “Sorry if I don’t offer to shake, but I think you can understand – my shake sounds somewhat threatening.” The snake give his rattle a little shake.

>>7235099
>Cause/Effect.
"Its release schedule was rushed, thus it has been poorly tested. Consequently, the final version is full of flaws."
>Comparison
"Unlike anime, visual novels can be interactive, thus immersing its reader more and making him truly feel the atmosphere."
>Statistical/Example
"VNs such as Clannad can be adapted successfully to anime. Most of /a/ liked it, and some of these don't even know what a VN is."
>etc etc etc
As long as the reasoning makes sense, it's alright.

>>7235153
“Umm, my name is Jack,” said the man, trying to absorb all of this. “Jack Samson.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jack says suddenly. “What happened to the poison…umm, in your bite. Why aren’t I dying now? How did you do that? What do you mean by that’s how you work?”

“That’s more than one question,” grins Nate. “But I’ll still try to answer all of them. First, yes, you can ask me a question.” The snake’s grin gets wider. “Second, the poison is in you. It changed you. You now no longer need to drink. That’s what you asked for. Or, well, technically, you asked to not be thirsty any more – but ‘any more’ is such a vague term. I decided to make it permanent – now, as long as you live, you shouldn’t need to drink much at all. Your body will conserve water very efficiently. You should be able to get enough just from the food you eat – much like a creature of the desert. You’ve been changed.

“For the third question,” Nate continues, “you are still dying. Besides the effects of that methanol in your system, you’re a man – and men are mortal. In your current state, I give you no more than about another 50 years. Assuming you get out of this desert, alive, that is.” Nate seemed vastly amused at his own humor, and continued his wide grin.

“As for the fourth question,” Nate said, looking more serious as far as Jack could tell, as Jack was just now working on his ability to read talking-snake emotions from snake facial features, “first you have to agree to make a second request and become bound by the secrecy, or I can’t tell you.”

“Wait,” joked Jack, “isn’t this where you say you could tell me, but you’d have to kill me?”

“I thought that was implied.” Nate continued to look serious.

>/jp/ claims to hate blog and meta shit
>/jp/ replies over 200 times to blog and meta shit instead of reporting it

/jp/ - Hypocrisy/General

>>7235158
“Ummm…yeah.” Jack leaned back a little as he remembered again that he was talking to a fifteen foot poisonous reptile with a reputation for having a nasty temper. “So, what is this ‘Bound by Secrecy’ stuff, and can you really stop the effects of the methanol?” Jack thought for a second. “And, what do you mean methanol, anyway? I thought these days they use ethanol in wiper fluid, and just denature it?”

“They may, I don’t really know,” said Nate. “I haven’t gotten out in a while. Maybe they do. All I know is that I smell methanol on your breath and on that bottle in your pocket. And the blue color of the liquid when you pulled it out to drink some let me guess that it was wiper fluid. I assume that they still color wiper fluid blue?”

“Yeah, they do,” said Jack.

“I figured,” replied Nate. “As for being bound by secrecy – with the fulfillment of your next request, you will be bound to say nothing about me, this place, or any of the information I will tell you after that, when you decide to go back out to your kind. You won’t be allowed to talk about me, write about me, use sign language, charades, or even act in a way that will lead someone to guess correctly about me. You’ll be bound to secrecy. Of course, I’ll also ask you to promise not to give me away, and as I’m guessing that you’re a man of your word, you’ll never test the binding anyway, so you won’t notice.” Nate said the last part with utter confidence.

>>7235161
Jack, who had always prided himself on being a man of his word, felt a little nervous at this. “Ummm, hey, Nate, who are you? How did you know that? Are you, umm, omniscient, or something?”

Well, Jack,” said Nate sadly, “I can’t tell you that, unless you make the second request.” Nate looked away for a minute, then looked back.

“Umm, well, ok,” said Jack, “what is this about a second request? What can I ask for? Are you allowed to tell me that?”

“Sure!” said Nate, brightening. “You’re allowed to ask for changes. Changes to yourself. They’re like wishes, but they can only affect you. Oh, and before you ask, I can’t give you immortality. Or omniscience. Or omnipresence, for that matter. Though I might be able to make you gaseous and yet remain alive, and then you could spread through the atmosphere and sort of be omnipresent. But what good would that be – you still wouldn’t be omniscient and thus still could only focus on one thing at a time. Not very useful, at least in my opinion.” Nate stopped when he realized that Jack was staring at him.

“Well, anyway,” continued Nate, “I’d probably suggest giving you permanent good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you’d be immune to most poisons and diseases, and you’d tend to live a very long time, barring accident, of course. And you’ll even have a tendency to recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a request to me.”

“Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?” said Jack. “And keep me healthy for a long time? Hmmm. It doesn’t sound bad at that. And it has to be a request about a change to me? I can’t ask to be rich, right? Because that’s not really a change to me?”

“Right,” nodded Nate.

“Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?” Jack asked, hopefully.

“That takes two requests, Jack.”

Threads like this really detract from all the other quality threads on the front page.

>>7235142
I can appreciate the difference.

But look at your post:
>THAT IS NOT WHAT AD HOMINEM MEANS YOU FUCKING PSEUDOINTELLECTUAL IMBECILE

You don't provide any evidence (such as the correct definition) that his position is faulty, you just call him an imbecile.

>>7235170
wait, I didn't post that. I joined this thread after the spamming began.

(and there's at least another person discussing ad-hominems)

>>7235159
>he thinks that /jp is a singular entity and not a group of individuals with different ideas on what constitutes good threads

>>7235167
“Yeah, I figured so,” said Jack. “But I could ask to be a genius? I could become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?”

“Well, I could make you very smart,” admitted Nate, “but that wouldn’t necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you very athletic, but it wouldn’t necessarily make you the best athlete either. You’ve heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there’s some truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can’t make you work hard. It all depends on what you decide to do with it.”

“Hmmm,” said Jack. “Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request, after this one?”

“Maybe,” said Nate, “it depends on what you decide then. There are more rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second request. You know how it goes.” Nate looked like he’d shrug, if he had shoulders.

“Ok, well, since I’d rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent health doesn’t sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially. Do I need to sign in blood or something?”

>>7235192
I'm sorry then, I thought I was talking to the person who posted that this whole time.

I don't feel like I have any reason to be alive. I'm not a NEET yet, but that's because I'm only 19 and not in my mid-20s...it's probably coming in a matter of years though. I'm getting average grades in a liberal arts program, and I mean it's a top 100 school in the US, but only because the harder programs are hard...

In a few years I'll be exactly where most of /jp/ is, and to make it worse, I have a brother who's been living like a NEET for six or seven years now with no intent of quitting. He's not into anime or anything either, so he doesn't even have a hobby...and I just don't want to turn out like that because I live with that, at least when I'm not at school. It's pretty terrifying to see, really...

Furthermore with the way i act i have some symptoms of the aspies, but I've gotten much better with it since i'm younger. I still don't have a good understanding of others' emotions though, so I always assume people hate me because that's how people used to feel about me.

Also I wish I had a proper job that way I could buy figures and stuff, as it is I only have a summer job which goes mostly to paying for food at uni and stuff...

>>7235196
“No,” said Nate. “Just hold out your hand. Or heel.” Nate grinned. “Or whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said, that’s how it works – the poison, you know,” Nate said apologetically.

Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it didn’t hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot snake sunk it’s fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it wouldn’t hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn’t going to be easy.

“Hey, Jack,” Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind him, “is that someone else coming up over there?”

Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of nowhere? And did they bring food?

>>7235198
I'm the person who accused him of starting an ad hominem, and I'm likely the third person here. What the hell is going on?

>>7235142
No, an example would be:
ad hominem: You're a faggot for liking this VN
Non ad hominem: This VN sucks, you shouldn't like it

>>7235203
Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate…

Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through his jeans…

Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. “I would have decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn’t have to

hoodwink me like that.”

“I’ve been doing this a long time, Jack,” said Nate, confidently. “You humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you – especially one my size. And besides, admit it – it’s only been a couple of minutes and it already doesn’t hurt any more, does it? That’s because of the health benefit with this one. I told you that you’d heal quickly now.”

“Yeah, well, still,” said Jack, “it’s the principle of the thing. And nobody likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn’t you have gotten my calf or something instead?”

“More meat in the typical human butt,” replied Nate. “And less chance you accidentally kick me or move at the last second.”

>>7235204
lolwat. This has become too confusing, I quit.

>>7235196
You forgot to take off your name, shitposter.

>>7235206
“Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify to hear,” answered Jack.

“Ok,” said Nate. “Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to just start talking?”

“Just talk,” said Jack. “I’ll sit here and try to not think about food.”

“We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like,” answered Nate.

“Hey! You didn’t tell me you had food around here, Nate!” Jack jumped up. “What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically whip up food along with your other powers?” Jack was almost shouting with excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.

“I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife, that is,” replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.

“Ugh,” said Jack, sitting back down. “I think I’ll pass. I can last a little longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it is you find out here. And there’s nothing to burn – I’d have to eat it raw. No thanks. Just talk.”

“Ok,” replied Nate, still grinning. “But I’d better hurry, before you start looking at me as food.

Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued. “You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden.”

Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate sceptically.

“Well, that’s the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack,” said Nate. “Stand up and look at the symbol on the rock here.” Nate gestured around the dark stone they were both sitting on with his nose.

>>7235193
>He's trying to use the "/jp/ is not one person :P" argument to obscure the fact that /jp/ is, at its heart, a set of common values held by everyone on the board that isn't from /a/ and /v/, which therefore allows conclusions to be drawn about it!

>>7235221
Nope.

>>7235217
Oh no. How will I ever live with myself.
>>7235218
Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches left the truck to reach out across the stone. It was very well done – it looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and embedded in the stone than it did like a carving.

Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the setting sun. He wished he’d looked at it while the sun was higher in the sky.

Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another night out here! Arrrgh!

Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and stood next to Nate. “In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate,” said Jack. “Which way is it back to town? And how far? I’m eventually going to have to head back – I’m not sure I’ll be able to survive by eating raw desert critters for long. And even if I can, I’m not sure I’ll want to.”

>>7235226
“It’s about 30 miles that way.” Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to the way he’d been going when he was crawling here. “But that’s 30 miles by the way the crow flies. It’s about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head out early tomorrow, Jack.”

Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting stuff. “Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?”

“Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway,” said Nate. “He figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a ‘tree’, offering ‘temptations’, making bargains. That kind stuff. But he could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from across the ocean. He worried about that for a while.”

>>7235221
This is a ridiculous notion at best.

>>7235204
>>7235211
Well, being an anonymous board has some disadvantages after all...

>>7235226
>jp Kinectimal Control

Yes, Alex, I would like "People with severe autism" for $300.

>>7235238
“Garden of Eden, hunh?” said Jack. “How long have you been here, Nate?”

“No idea, really,” replied Nate. “A long time. It never occurred to me to count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it’s been thousands of years, at least.”

“So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?” said Jack.

“Beats me,” said Nate. “Maybe. I can’t remember if the first one of your kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant requests a ‘temptation’, though I’ve rarely had refusals.”

“Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out of the stone there?” asked Jack.

“Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake – much bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don’t remember if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I’ve been here ever since.

“What is this place?” said Jack. “And what did he ask you to do?”

“Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?” Nate loosened his coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but Nate was suddenly there in the way.

“You can’t touch that yet, Jack,” said Nate.

>>7235221
If that were true then we wouldn't have train wreck threads like these. Look at the first posts in this thread, both of them are people who expressed negative sentiments. Then look on to see numerous people contributing seriously to the thread. How can you account for such a divergence?

>>7235253
It's funny to see how he is posting all of it manually.

Would posting this story be considered spamming?

>>7235265
I also type it all out manually too. True fax
>>7235260
“Why not?” asked Jack.

“I haven’t explained it to you yet,” replied Nate.

“Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something,” said Jack. “You’d push it that way, and it would move in the slot.”

“Yep, that’s what it is,” replied Nate.

“What does it do?” asked Jack. “End the world.”

“Oh, no,” said Nate. “Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it ‘The Lever of Doom’.” For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and grinned.

Jack was initially startled by Nate’s pronouncement, but when Nate grinned Jack laughed. “Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it really do?”

“Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said,” smirked Nate. “I just thought the voice I used was funny, didn’t you?”

Nate continued to grin.

“A lever to end humanity?” asked Jack. “What in the world is that for? Why would anyone need to end humanity?”

>>7235265

It's funny to see how he shat all over your thread.

>>7235270
I'm not OP, son.

>>7235268
“Well,” replied Nate, “I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment. Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really bad, there should be a way to end it. I’m not really sure. All I know are the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it’s here. I didn’t think to ask back when I started here.”

“Rules? What rules?” asked Jack.

“The rules are that I can’t tell anybody about it or let them touch it unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human can be bound in that way at a time. That’s it.” explained Nate.

Jack looked somewhat shocked. “You mean that I could pull the lever now? You’d let me end humanity?”

“Yep,” replied Nate, “if you want to.” Nate looked at Jack carefully. “Do you want to, Jack?”

“Umm, no.” said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. “Why in the world would anyone want to end humanity? It’d take a psychotic to want that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too, wouldn’t it?”

>>7235270
Because the thread wasn't shit or anything.

Spamming this thread was the most futile, non-sensical and autistic thing ever.

>>7235268

>>7235285
“Yep,” replied Nate, “being as he’d be human too.”

“Has anyone ever seriously considered it?” asked Nate. “Any of those bound to secrecy, that is?”

“Well, of course, I think they’ve all seriously considered it at one time or another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and think, or so I’m told. Samuel considered it several times. He’d often get disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while. But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn’t be here.” Nate grinned some more.

Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at the same time. After a bit, he said, “So this makes me the Judge of humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?”

“That seems to be it,” agreed Nate.

“What kind of criteria do I use to decide?” said Jack. “How do I make this decision? Am I supposed to decide if they’re good? Or too many of them are bad? Or that they’re going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?”

>>7235292
“Nope,” replied Nate. “You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It’s up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you’re just supposed to know.”

“But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel horrible? Couldn’t I make a mistake? How do I know that I won’t screw up?” protested Jack.

Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. “You don’t. You just have to try your best, Jack.”

Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly getting dark, chewing on a fingernail.

Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. “Nate, was Samuel the one bound to this before me?”

“Yep,” replied Nate. “He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months ago.”

“Sounds like a good guy,” agreed Jack. “How did he handle this, when you first told him. What did he do?”

“Well,” said Nate, “he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and then asked me some questions, much like you’re doing.”

“What did he ask you, if you’re allowed to tell me?” asked Jack.

“He asked me about the third request,” replied Nate.

“Aha!” It was Jack’s turn to grin. “And what did you tell him?”

“I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you’ll come here and end it. You won’t avoid it, and you won’t wimp out.” Nate looked serious again. “And you’ll be bound to do it too, Jack.”

>>7235301
“Hmmm.” Jack looked back out into the darkness for a while.

Nate watched him, waiting.

“Nate,” continued Jack, quietly, eventually. “What did Samuel ask for with his third request?”

Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly, “Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him.”

“Ok,” said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, “give it to me.

Nate looked at Jack’s backside. “Give you what, Jack?”

“Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped him, maybe it’ll help me too.” Jack turned his head to look back over his shoulder at Nate. “It did help him, right?”

“He said it did,” replied Nate. “But he seemed a little quieter afterward. Like he had a lot to think about.”

“Well, yeah, I can see that,” said Jack. “So, give it to me.” Jack turned toface away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up.

Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now, Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both.

“You remember that you’ll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like it needs it, right Jack?” asked Nate, shifting position.

“Yeah, yeah, I got that,” replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate’s voice.

“And,” continued Nate, from his new position, “do you remember that you’ll turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?”

>>7235308
“Yeah, yeah…Hey, wait a minute!” said Jack, opening his eyes, straightening up and turning around. “Purple?!” He didn’t see Nate there. With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot in the rock without the snake wrapped around it.

Jack heard, from behind him, Nate’s “Just Kidding!” right before he felt the now familiar piercing pain, this time in the other buttock.

Jack sat on the edge of the dark stone in the rapidly cooling air, his feet extending out into the sand. He stared out into the darkness, listening to the wind stir the sand, occasionally rubbing his butt where he’d been recently bitten.

Nate had left for a little while, had come back with a desert-rodent-shaped bulge somewhere in his middle, and was now wrapped back around the lever, his tongue flicking out into the desert night’s air the only sign that he was still awake.

Occasionally Jack, with his toes absentmindedly digging in the sand while he thought, would ask Nate a question without turning around.

“Nate, do accidents count?”

Nate lifted his head a little bit. “What do you mean, Jack?”

Jack tilted his head back like he was looking at the stars. “You know, accidents. If I accidentally fall on the lever, without meaning to, does that still wipe out humanity?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it does, Jack. I’d suggest you be careful about that if you start feeling wobbly,” said Nate with some amusement.

A little later – “Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?” asked Jack.

>>7235319
“That’s the rule, Jack. Nobody else can pull it,” answered Nate.

“No,” Jack shook his head, “I meant does it have to be my hand? Could I pull the lever with a rope tied around it? Or push it with a stick? Or throw a rock?”

“Yes, those should work,” replied Nate. “Though I’m not sure how complicated you could get. Samuel thought about trying to build some kind of remote control for it once, but gave it up. Everything he’d build would be gone by the next sunrise, if it was touching the stone, or over it. I told him that in the past others that had been bound had tried to bury the lever so they wouldn’t be tempted to pull it, but every time the stones or sand or whatever had disappeared.”

“Wow,” said Jack, “Cool.” Jack leaned back until only his elbows kept him off of the stone and looked up into the sky.

“Nate, how long did Samuel live? One of his wishes was for health too, right?” asked Jack.

“Yes,” replied Nate, “it was. He lived 167 years, Jack.”

“Wow, 167 years. That’s almost 140 more years I’ll live if I live as long. Do you know what he died of, Nate?”

“He died of getting tired of living, Jack,” Nate said, sounding somewhat sad.

Jack turned his head to look at Nate in the starlight.

Nate looked back. “Samuel knew he wasn’t going to be able to stay in society. He figured that they’d eventually see him still alive and start questioning it, so he decided that he’d have to disappear after a while. He faked his death once, but changed his mind – he decided it was too early and he could stay for a little longer. He wasn’t very fond of mankind, but he liked the attention. Most of the time, anyway.

>>7235331
“His daughter and then his wife dying almost did him in though. He didn’t stay in society much longer after that. He eventually came out here to spend time talking to me and thinking about pulling the lever. A few months ago he told me he’d had enough. It was his time.”

“And then he just died?” asked Jack.

Nate shook his head a little. “He made his forth request, Jack. There’s only one thing you can ask for the fourth request. The last bite.

After a bit Nate continued, “He told me that he was tired, that it was his time. He reassured me that someone new would show up soon, like they always had.

After another pause, Nate finished, “Samuel’s body disappeared off the stone with the sunrise.”

Jack lay back down and looked at the sky, leaving Nate alone with his memories. It was a long time until Jack’s breathing evened out into sleep.

Jack woke with the sunrise the next morning. He was a little chilled with the morning desert air, but overall was feeling pretty good. Well, except that his stomach was grumbling and he wasn’t willing to eat raw desert rat.

So, after getting directions to town from Nate, making sure he knew how to get back, and reassuring Nate that he’d be back soon, Jack started the long walk back to town. With his new health and Nate’s good directions, he made it back easily.

>>7235334
Jack caught a bus back to the city, and showed up for work the next day, little worse for the wear and with a story about getting lost in the desert and walking back out. Within a couple of days Jack had talked a friend with a tow truck into going back out into the desert with him to fetch the SUV. They found it after a couple of hours of searching and towed it back without incident. Jack was careful not to even look in the direction of Nate’s lever, though their path back didn’t come within sight of it.

Before the next weekend, Jack had gone to a couple of stores, including a book store, and had gotten his SUV back from the mechanic, with a warning to avoid any more joyriding in the desert. On Saturday, Jack headed back to see Nate.

Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn’t unheard of, and shouldn’t really raise suspicions.

wow i come back and see the bar so small thinking it ghot that many replies but it's a niblet spammer

>>7235352
Jack had brought more books for Nate – recent books, magazines, newspapers. Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world, others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate, and then headed out again, telling Nate that he’d be back again soon, but that he had things to do first.

Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought a laptop with him – a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger, special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out its location to the satellite.

After that Jack could e-mail Nate to keep in touch, but still visited him fairly regularly – at least once or twice a year.

After the first year, Jack quit his job. For some reason, with the wisdom he ‘d been given, and the knowledge that he could live for over 150 years, working in a nine to five job for someone else didn’t seem that worthwhile any more. Jack went back to school.

Eventually, Jack started writing. Perhaps because of the wisdom, or perhaps because of his new perspective, he wrote well. People liked what he wrote, and he became well known for it. After a time, Jack bought an RV and started traveling around the country for book signings and readings.

But, he still remembered to drop by and visit Nate occasionally.

>>7235373
>wow i come back and see the bar so small thinking it ghot that many replies but it's a niblet spammer
I just ran that through google translate and I think it means
>Wow, I just came back and saw the scroll bar was small so I thought that this had thread got many replies but it turns out it was just a spammer.

>>7235380
On one of the visits Nate seemed quieter than usual. Not that Nate had been a fountain of joy lately. Jack’s best guess was that Nate was still missing Samuel, and though Jack had tried, he still hadn’t been able to replace Samuel in Nate’s eyes. Nate had been getting quieter each visit. But on this visit Nate didn’t even speak when Jack walked up to the lever. He nodded at Jack, and then went back to staring into the desert. Jack, respecting Nate’s silence, sat down and waited.

After a few minutes, Nate spoke. “Jack, I have someone to introduce you to.”

Jack looked surprised. “Someone to introduce me to?” Jack looked around, and then looked carefully back at Nate. “This something to do with the Big Guy?
“No, no,” replied Nate. “This is more personal. I want you to meet my son.” Nate looked over at the nearest sand dune. “Sammy!”

Jack watched as a four foot long desert rattlesnake crawled from behind the dune and up to the stone base of the lever.

“Yo, Jack,” said the new, much smaller snake.

“Yo, Sammy” replied Jack. Jack looked at Nate. “Named after Samuel, I assume?”

Nate nodded. “Jack, I’ve got a favor to ask you. Could you show Sammy around for me?” Nate unwrapped himself from the lever and slithered over to the edge of the stone and looked across the sands. “When Samuel first told me about the world, and brought me books and pictures, I wished that I could go see it. I wanted to see the great forests, the canyons, the cities, even the other deserts, to see if they felt and smelled the same. I want my son to have that chance – to see the world. Before he becomes bound here like I have been.

>>7235394
“He’s seen it in pictures, over the computer that you brought me. But I hear that it’s not the same. That being there is different. I want him to have that. Think you can do that for me, Jack?”

Jack nodded. This was obviously very important to Nate, so Jack didn’t even joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. “Yeah, I can do that for you, Nate. Is that all you need?” Jack could sense that was something more.

Nate looked at Sammy. Sammy looked back at Nate for a second and then said, “Oh, yeah. Ummm, I’ve gotta go pack. Back in a little bit Jack. Nice to meet ya!” Sammy slithered back over the dune and out of sight.

Nate watched Sammy disappear and then looked back at Jack. “Jack, this is my first son. My first offspring through all the years. You don’t even want to know what it took for me to find a mate.” Nate grinned to himself. “But anyway, I had a son for a reason. I’m tired. I’m ready for it to be over. I needed a replacement.”

Jack considered this for a minute. “So, you’re ready to come see the world, and you wanted him to watch the lever while you were gone?”

Nate shook his head. “No, Jack – you’re a better guesser than that. You’ve already figured out – I’m bound here – there’s only one way for me to leave here. And I’m ready. It’s my time to die.”

Jack looked more closely at Nate. He could tell Nate had thought about this – probably for quite a while. Jack had trouble imagining what it would be like to be as old as Nate, but Jack could already tell that in another hundred or two hundred years, he might be getting tired of life himself. Jack could understand Samuel’s decision, and now Nate’s. So, all Jack said was, “What do you want me to do?”

>You've reported enough posts already.

>>7235413
Nate nodded. “Thanks, Jack. I only want two things. One – show Sammy around the world – let him get his fill of it, until he’s ready to come back here and take over. Two – give me the fourth request.

“I can’t just decide to die, not any more than you can. I won’t even die of old age like you eventually will, even though it’ll be a long time from now. I need to be killed. Once Sammy is back here, ready to take over, I’ll be able to die. And I need you to kill me.

“I’ve even thought about how. Poisons and other drugs won’t work on me. And I’ve seen pictures of snakes that were shot – some of them live for days, so that’s out too. So, I want you to bring back a sword.

Nate turned away to look back to the dune that Sammy had gone behind. “I’d say an axe, but that’s somewhat undignified – putting my head on the ground or a chopping block like that. No, I like a sword. A time-honored way of going out. A dignified way to die. And, most importantly, it should work, even on me.

“You willing to do that for me, Jack?” Nate turned back to look at Jack.

“Yeah, Nate,” replied Jack solemnly, “I think I can handle that.”

Nate nodded. “Good!” He turned back toward the dune and shouted, “Sammy! Jack’s about ready to leave!” Then quietly, “Thanks, Jack.”

>>7235388
that

>>7235420
I know that feel.
Felt like a drunkard on a bar.

>>7235424
Jack didn’t have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then headed into the desert with Sammy following. Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few wild rumors and storied followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the newspapers or the public in general.

When they finished the tour of countries, Jack suggested that they try some undersea diving. They did. And spelunking. They did that too. Sammy finally drew the line at visiting Antarctica. He’d come to realize that Jack was stalling. After talking to his Dad about it over e-mail, he figured out that Jack probably didn’t want to have to kill Nate. Nate told Sammy that humans could be squeamish about killing friends and acquaintances.

>>7235433
So, Sammy eventually put his tail down (as he didn’t have a foot) and told Jack that it was time – he was ready to go back and take up his duties from his dad. Jack, delayed it a little more by insisting that they go back to Japan and buy an appropriate sword. He even stretched it a little more by getting lessons in how to use the sword. But, eventually, he’d learned as much as he was likely to without dedicating his life to it, and was definitely competent enough to take the head off of a snake. It was time to head back and see Nate.

When they got back to the US, Jack got the old RV out of storage where he and Sammy had left it after their tour of the fifty states, he loaded up Sammy and the sword, and they headed for the desert.

When they got to the small town that Jack had been trying to find those years ago when he’d met Nate, Jack was in a funk. He didn’t really feel like walking all of the way out there. Not only that, but he’d forgotten to figure the travel time correctly, and it was late afternoon. They’d either have to spend the night in town and walk out tomorrow, or walk in the dark.

As Jack was afraid that if he waited one more night he might lose his resolve, he decided that he’d go ahead and drive the RV out there. It was only going to be this once, and Jack would go back and cover the tracks afterward. They ought to be able to make it out there by nightfall if they drove, and then they could get it over tonight.

Jack told Sammy to e-mail Nate that they were coming as he drove out of sight of the town on the road. They then pulled off the road and headed out into the desert.

Everything went well, until they got to the sand dunes. Jack had been nursing the RV along the whole time, over the rocks, through the creek beds, revving the engine the few times they almost got stuck. When they came to the dunes, Jack didn’t really think about it, he just downshifted and headed up the first one. By the third dune, Jack started to regret that he’d decided to try driving on the sand. The RV was fishtailling and losing traction. Jack was having to work it up each dune slowly and was trying to keep from losing control each time they came over the top and slid down the other side. Sammy had come up to sit in the passenger seat, coiled up and laughing at Jack’s driving.

As they came over the top of the fourth dune, the biggest one yet, Jack saw that this was the final dune – the stone, the lever, and somewhere Nate, waited below. Jack put on the brakes, but he’d gone a little too far. The RV started slipping down the other side.

Jack tried turning the wheel, but he didn’t have enough traction. He pumped the brakes – no response. They started sliding down the hill, faster and faster.

Jack felt a shock go through him as he suddenly realized that they were heading for the lever. He looked down – the RV was directly on course for it. If Jack didn’t do something, the RV would hit it. He was about to end humanity.

Jack steered more frantically, trying to get traction. It still wasn’t working. The dune was too steep, and the sand too loose. In a split second, Jack realized that his only chance would be once he hit the stone around the lever – he should have traction on the stone for just a second before he hit the lever – he wouldn’t have time to stop, but he should be able to steer away.

Jack took a better grip on the steering wheel and tried to turn the RV a little bit – every little bit would help. He’d have to time his turn just right.

The RV got to the bottom of the dune, sliding at an amazing speed in the sand. Just before they reached the stone Jack looked across it to check that they were still heading for the lever. They were. But Jack noticed something else that he hadn’t seen from the top of the dune. Nate wasn’t wrapped around the lever. He was off to the side of the lever, but still on the stone, waiting for them. The problem was, he was waiting on the same side of the lever that Jack had picked to steer towards to avoid the lever. The RV was already starting to drift that way a little in its mad rush across the sand and there was no way that Jack was going to be able to go around the lever to the other side.

Jack had an instant of realization. He was either going to have to hit the lever, or run over Nate. He glanced over at Sammy and saw that Sammy realized the same thing.

Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone. Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, “BETTER NATE THAN LEVER,” he ran over the snake.

>>7235477

>>7235477
why is it that even stories like this get my attention more than all the shitty media today, including books.

>>7235492

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I'm high and don't give a fuck.

>>7235515
fuck off Kinectimal

Why don't you just delete the whole thread already, mod?

>>7235866
fuck off Kinectimal