/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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Go back to bed Ryan.

Hello, /jp/ poster that puts on a trip to act retarded on purpose.

I hate my mother. I wonder if I can get a restraining order against her? She's being such a passive aggressive bitch with her stalking.

Look who's back for another buttdevastating

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtfCRaNg5EU

>>7176073

Who is this "Ryan" person, and if you're referring to me, why should I go back to bed, when I just got up, and soon gotta hit the gym.

But I will, if you provide some answers to questions I asked in my first post.

Go back to bed again Ryan.

>>7176072
Didn't even read the topic but that haunter ASCII got my attention and is fucking awesome.

Reported for spamming though faggot

>then even your mother and your relatives are pig disgusting, and so are you in a way.
So?
Why don't you go back to bed, Ryan

>>7176077

Oh, I see.

>>7176081

I didn't like that movie, seems like Faye Dunaway appears in only utterly boring movies, such as Chinatown and Network.

Anyway, no more offtopicing, please.

Go away Ryan.

>>7176068
holy shit its a haunter~!

this new episode
http://qr.net/H84

>>7176096
>boring movies
Wow you're really uncultured. Leave the house mate.

>>7176097
>>7176096
>>7176088
>>7176073
>>7176068
What's with the samefagging though?

>>7176106
Go away Ryan.

>mfw I posted in the Subject field instead of Comment

Anyway, what's wrong bros, and who is this "Ryan" person you're all talking about.

>>7176106
Nope, no samefagging. And Chinatown was really boring, Network was okay I guess, but I'm more into other types of movies, that most of Americans aren't aware about. Ever heard of Fellini, Tarkovsky, etc?

Because.

>>7176081
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckfhhvoQjbI

gb2 bed ryan

>>7176132
Stop that OP.

>pig disgusting

>>7176123
>implying that all 3D girls are ugly fucking pigs.

I was once dating a fine looking girl, she was more cute than hot, and that's the type I prefer. She knew a lot about the animey, touhou, music, and we had a lot in common. I even got her into VNs.

Better than having a waifu that you can't even talk to.

I'm a 4chan level otaku. I don't talk with you chumps in anime club, I don't read your "anime magazine" with new releases I saw two years ago. I don't need to go to a club full of fat smelly people to watch Full Metal Alchemist all over again. I've got fuckin' live feed torrents of the newest animes you haven't even hear of, and figures from said anime being shipped to my house so I can masturbate on them. Go read your "yowie" on fanfiction.net, I'm downloading loli dojinshi and reading the fucking raws.
You keep wearing your naruto headbands and shit, socializing with your weeaboo friends. I'll be walking by, Anonymous. You'll never know that the master of anime had passed you by, because I suppress my power level.

This is NOT copypasta. I repeat NOT copypasta.

I know coming to /jp/ for advice is a top notch bad idea, but I honestly have no where else to turn because this situation directly involves my family, and friends.

Let me start from the beginning, I am 318 and my shikigami is 31. I just finished shopping and my shikigami is home from prowling. I guess this year her hunting started slipping or something, because I walked past her room and she was crying. I walked inside her room to ask her what's up and she hands me a letter - apparently she's up for review by my master for dismissal. I feel kinda sorry for her so I gave her a hug and one thing led to another and we started making out. This is really weird because I've made out with girls before, but my shikigami blows them all out of the water. In the back of my mind lies the fact that she's my servant and what we are doing is sick and wrong, but I guess my shikigami has more experience and it felt so fucking good.

Here's the dilemma - after making out, Chen started taking her clothes off and she started pulling my pants down. I'm like, hey, what are you doing? She's like, oh come on Ran, aren't you even a LITTLE curious? I felt bad because its true, my servant is a hottie and I always wished that she wasn't my shikigami. I've even gone as far as to shlick to thoughts of doing her. She then said "For tonight, let's not be master and servant. I really need this because I feel like shit right now and our master won't be back till late and we aren't going to tell anyone.

I pretty much just fucked my shikigami. No, to be more honest, I just lost my virginity to my servant. My question, /jp/, is WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?? What do people usually do after they fuck their servants?

Pic very related; that's Chen.

LOOKS LIKE /jp/ CAN'T HANDLE A LITTLE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

>>7176156
I agree. I only read lolicon manga for lolicons such as myself.

Wait. What I don't even...
What's inferior?? I thought the one with flaws were the 3D.

As for Waifus...Well Because no one will love you for who you are. And they most definitely exist! Such nonsense you speak of...Time for sleep?

Lastly..Just because you are born the son of the troll doesn't mean you will come to love being a troll right? And no Gensokyo exists. You really are lacking sleep.

>>7176164
>COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
And where's that in this thread OP?

>>7176148
what VNs?

Check my pic for more of Yran's faggotry.

>>7176148

ATTENTION NEWGROUNDERS,

FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS' LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY'RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED "GOOD SCHOOL" IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTIAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC "DEEP" FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUEMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN'T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.

1- Slug is so much light than snail who have shell to copy slug technology.

2- The snail use the shell because is a fucking faget.

3- snail got crush so easy, and you can give the slug to ur dog chew and it ll still eat lettuce.

4- shell is MORE heavy than no shell.

5- some slug have internal shell because more evolved

6- Your cousin will not want to stay on your house to play slug.

7- If you trow the slug on the wall, the wall will go up.

8- Trow both on water and watch which will come up first.

over 9000- slug at mate will make a slimecord. The snail will show dribble.

10- All slug are hermaphrodite. Snail is too but because faget

11 - slug is the name of a bullet. Snail means it is slow.

12 - Slug will eat carrion, slug dont give a fuck

13- slug didn稚 needed an upgrade. Slug is perfect

>>7176175
That's special.

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

>>7176169
Keep living in your dreamworld, you utter child.

Also, go fuck yourself.

>>>/g/
>>>/e/
>>>/t/

>>>/o/
>>>/u/
>>>/t/

>>>/o/
>>>/f/

>>>/jp/

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>>7176189
AWWWWWW R U MAD??? XD
I
SMEAL
BUTTHURTEDNESSS

GO CRY WIT UR PATHETIC GF LOL

>>7176175

>mfw posting some shit that occurred YEARS ago, like literally
>implying I wasn't just fucking around

>>7176189
You take a lot of time to answer to pretend you have a busy life or something?

Can't get worse than that weeaboo.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can
call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!!
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old
(im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind
(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its
SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random
ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! we also watch naruto bcuz sauske is sooooooooo cool!!!1
lol...neways i hope 2 make
alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

pic is soooooooo ment to be!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

* ~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

As for the waifu thing

i don't think this concept can get through your thick autism plated skull.

Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold. Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say...it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help. The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiian sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape.

>>7176201
lol i was fuking around with ur mom dis morning

with my dik lolmao

He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue. Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiian happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie.

Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope. He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body. Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in. "Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.

>>7176214
>>7176201
Samefag much?

Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)

>/jp/ meetup (excluding faggot OP who is crying tears mixed with my semen and his blood because he is a faggot from gayville and also a fart commander.)

xD

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I RECIEVED YOUR MEMO CONCERNING LAST WEEKS LUNCHEON, AND I MUST SAY I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF. YOUR SISTER, WHO APPARENTLY DECIDED TO ATTEND THE PARTY WEARING A STUNNING SILK DRESS, GAVE MY GARGANTUAL ENORMOUS PULSATING COLUMN OF FLESH NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO EXTEND AND ERECT TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL, THE SIZE OF WHICH I CAN HARDLY EXPRESS IN WORDS. AT THE SIGHT OF MY IMMENSE MEAT HAMMER, I FOUND YOUR SISTER BEGGING AND MOANING, ON HER KNEES, FOR JUST ONE TASTE OF MY ZIMMER SPECIAL. THE RESULT WAS INEVITABLE; YOUR SISTER WAS INSTANTLY BLOWN ACROSS THE ROOM AS MY COLOSSAL HOSE EXPLODED IN A TORRENT OF MY DNA PUDDING. IT TOOK HER 2 HOURS TO REMOVE THE THICK LAYER OF MY SPECIAL NUT BATTER FROM HER FACE, AND EVEN THOUGH I STRONGLY DISCOURAGED IT, SHE DECIDED TO CONSUME THE ENTIRE QUANTITY OF MY HE-SALSA, THE VOLUME OF WHICH COULD EASILY FILL A INDUSTRIAL SIZED FUEL TANK. I GUARANTEE IT.

I'm an alien who implanted a piece of metal in >>1's body.
The other day I visited the earth, abducted >>1 as a sample of the earthlings. I tampered with his body to gather data of the earthlings.
But I made a terrible mistake.
>>1's fat body is a nonstandardized article as an earthling.
He is unemployed, and on top of that he has no friends.
All day long he is sitting in front of the personal computer, clattering clattering, clattering the keyboard.
I am fed up with this job.
Boss from mother planet yelled at me for this failure.
He said, "Select your specimen more carefully!"
This is the first penalty I get since I have been assigned to The Earth Observation Party.
The human mutilation is not easy task.
Next year I am demoted to the charge of the cattle mutilation.
I am just about to go to The Area 51.
As for >>1, I leave him entirely up to you. Do as you like.

>>7176206
tl;dr, but I'll read it later. Also calling me autistic when you're the one who believes in waifus and Gensokyo. Kill yourself, cancer.

Also, I find it utterly hilarious how some people are wasting their time spamming my thread, is this because they're so autistic and don't have anything creative and meaningful to say... at all?

In AD 2008... bird was beggining
Anonymous-What happen?
Anonymous2-somebody set up us the bird
Anonymous3-we get spaghetti
Anonymous-what?
Anonymous3-main oven turn on
Anonymous-its penne
BIRDS-how are you Anonymous?
BIRDS-all your pasta are belong to us
BIRDS-you are on the way to coction
Anonymous-what you say!?
BIRDS-you have no chance to survive make your trenne
BIRDS-HA HA HA!

Sage your wiki spams, spammer-kun, we don't need this eyesore on the front page.

>>7176233
hey are you piting us with you so you can not be the only autist in /jp/?

plus, tripfagging up with /a/ shit makes your opinion irrelevant

y so buttmad?

Years ago, I was a karateka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw several punches, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing punch, and he grabbed it and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>>7176242
I'm nokosaging all the time, I'm not that stupid.

>>7176189
o_o Why yes I am a child. I'm forever 17 after all.
Geez...You really do need sleep. This isn't any dream land or anything like that. This is reality and I am living in it. And Phantasms most certainly exist here.

And how scary of you to use such strong language on a child like me.

Is it any coincidence at all, that this guy came back from the dead to post on Autism Awareness day? Seriously.

All too easy.

OP, you're smart.
You pretend to take time to answer to make it seem like you're very busy.
You samefag a lot as anonymous to pretend that /jp/ is really mad.
You pretend to talk about serious subjects so newfriends don't understand what's going on, thus forcing them to read the thread so they get the idea /jp/ is mad as fuck.

That's smart. But why are you holding so much anger towards an imageboard on the internet? I really wonder what's behind all that text.
Nevermind I don't think I wanna know.

Am I thinking too deep? Doesn't matter I have the time tonight.

>>7176243
>implying that I'm mad

It's the internet, fucking dipshit, weepy cuntbag.
How can you tell how the fuck I'm feeling like, just by the way I'm typing?

You should help your child climax and experience the joys and sensation and relief of orgasm. This is very important. You should teach them to help you climax and do the same for them. Explain orgasm to them. Tell them how good it feels to boys and girls to obtain release, that orgasm is a pleasurable feeling in their bodies that they need to understand & experience & that they need to know how to bring it about with a partner. If they already masturbate, show them how to complete it to climax if they have not discovered it yet. If they do not really know how to masturbate, show them how and demonstrate yourself doing it. Tell them it's normal and healthy and they should do it to relieve sexual tension. A child is not stupid-but often ignorant due to lack of information. Inform them! A climax can be scary to a child, it is a powerful experience they may not have had yet. You must guide them & explain that it won't hurt them, & is even good for them!

>>7176233
lol y u mad tho
ur butt is so hurt u need my dik to calm down xD

>>7176249
see
>>7176248

I lay hidden in a crater about 15 meters away from the Moon King. His guards are no where insight, so I seize the opportunity by dashing foward at speed only known to the cheetahs. I swiftlly pull out my hidden blade which is the same kitchen knife my father used to murder my mother when I was 8, he proceded to give me this knife as if it were some family heirloom. Which I obviously kept for that was the only father son moment I had with him before he went to prison. Anyways with the kitchen knife quickly at the throat of the Moon King, I begin cutting at it very slowly as I show him his printed post history. Seein his life flash before his very eyes. As he bleeds out I use the remainder of the time to give him omega wedgies and when he dies he poops two turds out, but since I gave him such great wedgies it was like he was wearing a thong so when he pooped his turds split in half so it looked like he pooped four turds in total. I then update my facebook to "I'm the new moon king" and fart while doing it because its microblogging.

such a muderous era of kings and queens.

>>7176253
by reading your text and laughing my ass off as i dick whip your mom's ass and release my my DNA load her mouth and ass.

buttmangled xDD

>>7176253
ur butt tears of hurt r delicious rofl
not as delicious as ur moms pussy tho, my dik loves it ;)

You will start pursuing Yukari, and she will be amused and go along with it and be all clingy and lovey dovey with you when the two of you are out in public. She will be constantly watching your face for sign of longing when other touhous are around in order to find out who your touhou waifu is.

Then before long, she realizes that she has becomes too used to acting like your waifu and have really fallen for you. Oh well she thought, maybe if she steals your virginity from you, you will break down and tell her who the lucky girl is.

So one night as you are about to doze off, Yukari slips into your bed, her silken gloved fingers running up and down your body while she whispers into your ear explicit things she will like you to do to her.

You suddenly turn around to face her, your face stormy. The two of you make love with a burning intensity until morning. Then, the morning comes and you're gone.

A few days later Yukari again appears in front of you, tears rolling down her face as she dives into your embrace.

"Idiot" cursed she.

My Aikido dojo is across from a Karate dojo. We usually get alot of rude remarks from them, such as Aikido being for weaklings.

Well, one of them challenged me, he was a white male in his 20's. I accepted of course, I never back down from a challenge.

He had really good form, but his Karate was no match for my Aikido. He delivered a great kick but it was nothing for me, I easily grabbed it and knocked him down with a kick. This went on for about 10 minutes until he got too tired.

He got frustrated and left, he was about to cross the street but I stopped him from getting hit by a speeding cyclist. He didn't say thanks but it still felt good to save someone.

By the way, in case you didn't notice

You know, I'd enjoy watching Teto-san practice her dancing. Everytime she'd dance it would be the highlight of my day. I'd watch her for hours, dancing under the bright lights, her skin glimmering from the ample amount of perspiration. I'd offer to shower with her afterwards, naturally. I'd lead her into the bathroom and help her undress, telling her to raise her arms while I lifted her damp shirt off her small body. I'd unbutton her skirt and let it fall to the ground, then slip my fingers between the smooth skin of her hips and the waistline of her panties and slide them down. That would be great. I'd have the water running luke-warm, because coming from exercising I don't think she'd want to take a warm shower. I'd get into the shower with her, both of us nude, and I'd help her bathe. The only soap I would ever bathe her with would be strawberry-scented. As I'd be running my hands over her small frame, feeling her modest breasts, thin arms, slim waist and legs, I would obviously become very aroused. Sooner or later, she would notice it and look up at me angrily, shampoo from her hair dripping into her eyes. That's when I'd dump the bucket of water over her head to rinse her hair. She'd open her eyes once again, not knowing what to say or react and still seeming a bit mad. Nothing would need to be said at all. Body language is able to convey much more than vocalisations ever could. She'd look into my eyes, I'd look into hers, and that's when she'd tell me, "I'm cold. Dry me off already."

Drying her off and what comes after is an entirely different story. You can rest assured knowing that we'd both snuggle up near the fireplace and watch a movie together, our sticky, damp bodies rubbing together.

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking threads about rape! RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT RAPE! Rape DESTROYS a woman, it STRIPS HER OF HUMANITY! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. RAPE IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WOMANHOOD BEING VIOLATED!

And no, I am not some lesbian dyke cunt, I am a woman. I was raped. My virginity taken from me, I can never give it to a man I love. I was raped again and again and again and again and again by a random stranger when I was 15, And between you and me something amazing happened...and now I can talk to animals! Its really cool! But totally a secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.

>>7176249
Most /jp/ knows that already, so why bother?

Last month, I went to a toga party where I made out with a bunch of girls, and two guys (one of them being gay.) My boyfriend made out with the same girls I did- one of those girls had a boyfriend.
The boyfriend took initiative and made out with me.
Since then there's been sexual tension between us since we were considering a partner swap.
His girlfriend decided not to since he was more interested in me.
Him and I have hung out once since the toga party, kissed a little bit in a coffee shop- nothing much.
Now, for the story that happened two nights ago.
>Meet at the mall.
>Talk for like, 6 hours about our sexual tension; but try not to make anything of it (since his gf and my bf are now against the idea of a swap)
>He very much still wants to fuck me.
>Walking around mall, he stops and makes out with me.
>I hate PDA's.
>Go to awesome secret area outside the mall to get some kissing done, nothing else.
>He starts pulling my hair while we're making out
>I go down on him
>Make out more
>Fucks me from behind.

I texted my boyfriend later on saying I was bored and asked him to come pick me up (this is still while we're outside)
Turns out he was waiting for me the whole time, but on opposite side of the mall.
He will never know.

>TL;DR- Meet guy at party, sexual tension after making out at party, we hang out; I get fucked.

Lol, I guess I made /jp/ mad, and it wasn't even my intention to do that.

You're all acting very childish with your spam, and lame copypasta, looke like I really hit the weak spot... so guess what:

YOUR WAIFUS DON'T EXIST

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

Maxim will die.

But his soul will chose to go back in time, the time when he was happiest, and he will be at Parcelyte.

Erim who loves Maxim want to be with him too and want to be in a time when Maxim'd love her, but since he already loves Selan it'll go in time when Maxim's decendant is born, and became Lufia

>>7176301
>your

>>7176302
I don't have any Keine but can I still help?

I bet this is as good a time as any to revel some info that will change your life.

I have mastered the art of hands free masturbating.

The countless years, the endless hours, all of it has gone into mastering this technique. It's so mindlessly simple I hate myself for not finding it sooner.

What you need:
-Laptop with mouse
-Bed and pillows
-NEW material (like, 30+ images of some new fetish you just found. Something you have yet to use)

First, lay down on your back and become as comfortable as possible. Take a long pillow and lay it next to you lengthwise and set the laptop on it so it's about a foot from your face and at a 45 degree angle. Take your right arm and put it under the pillow with the mouse. You should be flat on your back, pillow under head and your head should be tilted slightly right to the laptop monitor.

Next, start looking at whatever you want. Your right arm with the mouse should be at an angle you are comfortable with. About 5 minuets into a solid erection slowly start to vibrate your hips.

That's it. Shortly after you start to vibrate you will notice slight twitches and pre-cum flowing out uncontrollably. Soon enough you will be breathing hard and your body will start to vibrate harder and harder on it's own until you climax.

It takes practice, but the result is always one of those 30 second long pulsating super loads.

Tips for beginners:
-Be as calm as possible. The room must be quiet and you MUST be able to concentrate.
-Try moving your legs. Start with them straight and after a bit bring the bottom of your feet together.
-If you absolutely cannot do this at first, gently rub the underside of your penis with one finger for 5 seconds every 60 seconds. This will accelerate the possess.

I share this information for one reason, so it can be used. There are some things mankind should know.

>>7176314

Go ahead, I like Suwako. Maybe this thread could even be beneficial.

>>7176301
lol dont let the door close on ur ass xD
btw im buttfuking ur mom riete nao rofl

>>7176319
Awesome!

We are >>1 (OP) 's courtiers. We are sorry that our lord has opened such a stupid THREAD.
After the last war we had completely lost, our lord got mental illness.
Everyday, he kidnaps girls from the village. Every night he gets drunk and tries to chop courtiers with his

katana.
Now the lady of the house is ill in bed. The people in our country are suffering badly from famine.
The neighboring Daimyos is taking advantage of this situation, they try to pass across the border and take over

our land.
Quite a few of our fellow courtiers have intention to rise in rebellion.
We are now in dire straits. Our clan would be destroyed.
But, don't worry. We arranged that our Lord become a Buddhist priest.
In his way to the temple, our skilled assassin should take his life.
That is arranged perfectly. After that we will hail Master Monaminokami, the nephew of our lord, as our new

lord. We, all courtiers, would do our best to serve this new lord with faith.
We apologize for any inconvenience our lord may have caused you.
Pleas wait for a while. Pleas forgive the evil deeds done by our lord.

SORRY TO BREAK YOUR BUBBLES THERE, BROTHERS, BUT NO AMOUNT OF MOANIN' AND CRYIN' IS GOING TO CHANGE THE ONE SINGLE FACT THAT REALLY MATTERS IN ALL THIS: RYUUJI CHOSE TAIGA, BROTHER, AND WITHOUT CONSIDERING EITHER OF THOSE TWO LOSERS EVEN FOR A SECOND!

THE THING YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, DUDES, IS THAT TAIGA WAS THE ONLY CHOICE FOR HIM THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE DARN SERIES, BROTHER! THE FACT THAT THEY WERE GOING TO HOOK-UP WAS SHOWN IN THE *TITLE* OF THE ANIME! WHAT WAS HE GONNA DO? CHOOSE A SCHEMING, MANIPULATIVE JEZEBEL LIKE AMI WHO ONLY PRETENDED TO BE HIS BRO SO SHE COUD SINK HER GREEDY LITTLE HOOKS INTO HIM AND KEEP HIM AWAY FROM TRUE LOVE, BROTHER? WAS HE SUPPOSED TO MARRY A SPORTS-MINDED TOMBOY SPACE-CADET WHO SECRETLY HATES HERSELF SO MUCH THAT SHE REJECTED THE GUY SHE LOVED AND SHOVED HIM OFF ON HER SUPPOSED 'BEST FRIEND'? TO THAT I SAY 'NO WAY', BROTHER! CHOOSING TAIGA WAS AS SIMPLE AS CHOOSING MOM, OLD GLORY AND APPLE PIE, BROTHER! WITH A LITTLE LADY LIKE TAIGA AT HIS SIDE, BROTHER, RYUUJI CAN TAKE HIS VITAMINS, SAY HIS PRAYERS, SALUTE THE AMERCAN FLAG AND LOOK FORWARD TO A BRIGHTER FUTURE THAN HE EVER COULD HAVE HAD WITH EITHER OF THOSE OTHER TWO REJECTS!

WHATCHA GONNA DO? I SAY, WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN TAIGA-MANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?

I know coming to /jp/ for advice is a top notch bad idea, but I honestly have no where else to turn because this situation directly involves my family, and friends.

Let me start from the beginning, I am 318 and my shikigami is 31. I just finished shopping and my shikigami is home from prowling. I guess this year her hunting started slipping or something, because I walked past her room and she was crying. I walked inside her room to ask her what's up and she hands me a letter - apparently she's up for review by my master for dismissal. I feel kinda sorry for her so I gave her a hug and one thing led to another and we started making out. This is really weird because I've made out with girls before, but my shikigami blows them all out of the water. In the back of my mind lies the fact that she's my servant and what we are doing is sick and wrong, but I guess my shikigami has more experience and it felt so fucking good.

Here's the dilemma - after making out, Chen started taking her clothes off and she started pulling my pants down. I'm like, hey, what are you doing? She's like, oh come on Ran, aren't you even a LITTLE curious? I felt bad because its true, my servant is a hottie and I always wished that she wasn't my shikigami. I've even gone as far as to shlick to thoughts of doing her. She then said "For tonight, let's not be master and servant. I really need this because I feel like shit right now and our master won't be back till late and we aren't going to tell anyone.

I pretty much just fucked my shikigami. No, to be more honest, I just lost my virginity to my servant. My question, /jp/, is WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?? What do people usually do after they fuck their servants?

Pic very related; that's Chen.

i fapped so hard mine dong flew out da window i here its in china now
wow op i fap so hard my dick bigger 2 inches great vid
omg i coming cats and dogs thnx for pic!!
omg op i come so hard that I shot a whole in my wall. now my mom is angry and said i had a hug cock!
i came so hard im now a woman thx op
The hurricane winds generated from how fast I was whacking it knocked down my entire south wall of my house and now car alarms all over the neigborhood are going off.
I just shat my pants in class now i cant move or it will all squelch out and the girl near me is starting to notice the smell thanks op!
i know own a small fast food chain in rhode island thx op
thx op for share her exclusive move make sister grew dick to fuck my ass with
op i slipped on my own penis im calling the police fuck you op
WOW BITCH NOZE HOW TO SUKK GUD I CUM SO HARD MY BUCKET BROKE
super hot chick thanks op I came a whole mom
oh god all i have left to cum is bone marrow aaaah god no stop it hurts m bone marrow thx op 10/10
holy penis i shat pics of spiderman
epic win OP I cam shit and shat cum
I'm watching this now with my family and my granpa is winning the cumbucket challenge thx op 10/10
I came so hard my cum created a sonic boom and now I can't hear shit thx op 10/10
your under arrest op for make this such fantastic porno movievideo, I birthed several sperm childs
thx op i came so hard my dick split open and wasps flew out and stung my mom 9/11
thx op i cut dick off and threw my dick like cum grenade 10/10
op made me cum like a small turtle call me franklin
awesome porno op I came in a poor man's suit pocket.
I RIPPED MY ARM OFF AND CAME TO STOP THE BLEEDING THX OP
omfg my dick got so hard i could fuck my own asshole!

>>7176347
O wrong picture

Last pasta just to make sure the thread's dead
When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to use a diaper. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

It was a hot summer day and I was in my studio hitting 1200 notes. My fingers were flexing and niggers within a 10 mile radius were getting uppity. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour jam session I called one of the bitches I know, Sawa-chan sensei. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Sawa-chan sensei called me and said she wanted to dress me up. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari’s have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing keyboard. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my keyboard. Booya.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My Korg Triton Extreme is going inside of her house, hitting them walls. I’m holding my keyboard's entire body up with my left pinky as I’m playing it and she's hitting 30,000 notes on her guitar. She looks me in the eyes and she says “harder.” V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I hit my keys so hard she drops her costume. There had to have been about two dozen of costumes everywhere. People say I look moe in costumes, I wouldn’t disagree with them.

I throw her a sheet so she can read my new lyrics herself then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

>>7176359

>2.06 MB

Also, YOU MAD /jp?

so i was playin the touhou
and fiddy cent comes up to me and is like
"dmx why you play that dodgan bullet loli animu gaem"
and i said
"because fiddy i like ta dodge them bullets. unlike u."
"why you gotta do it with a loli"
"i dunno"

For the love of god

post some HNNG Ran/Chen.

>>7176382
Yeah, some have ridiculous resolutions.
It's ok. The servers can handle it.

>>7176398
That's funny

"Hey Sheldon, what are you playing?"
"Touhou 11, Subterranean Animism."
*crowd chortles*
"Oh yeah, isn't that the game where every character's a little girl?"
*Crowd oooohs*
"Leonard, i'll have you know that these games and the characters are based on real Japanese folklore!"
"But you're getting red blobs shot at you by a little girl in a bucket!"
*Crowd erupts into hysterics*
"Sigh, philistine."
*Crowd explodes into violent hysterics, laughing with such power that it knocks the earth off its orbit into the path of Jupiter*

>>7176402

Well, I guess that it's the hour of autism now, I'll post the same thread later, anyway, gotta go see my friends.

>155 posts and 94 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

NEVER CHANGE /jp/, NEVER CHANGE.

>>7176473
Eh, most of it is image dumps and samefag.
Doesn't matter

>>7176496
Yeeeeah

Yep, you are all very mad.

What do now, when you can't post pics?

>>7176518

I enjoy both 3D and 2D. I like 2D A LOT more because real women are obnoxious bitches, I'll admire them from afar and watch 3D lesbian porn but I want nothing to do with them.

Unless they're a fujoshi with whom I can relate and spend the rest of my life with. I'd very much enjoy having a meaningful relationship with a fujoshi.

hey spammers, stop bumping this shit

>>7176523
You're still here?