/jp/ - Otaku Culture

You can delete your thread

before doing this >>7173141

post some HNNNG worth Cirno

>>7173141
i see

I'm doing homework.

>>7173148
FUCK, NO, DON'T SERIOUSLY NO THAT'S VERY BAD NO SHE'S GOING TO

>>7173143
but i really want to befriend with you anon

>>7173148
what kind of homework?

>>7173148
>>7173149

It's math homework.

>>7173163
meanie

>>7173133
I'm trying to draw stuff but I keep on getting distracted by 4chan, what do I do?

>>7173170
draw while browsing 4chan?

>>7173170

Well, I'm trying to program stuff but uninteresting threads keep distracting me.

I need to come up with a template for my TE stick, but I do not know how to use photoshop, nor have the artistic skills to make decent art.

If you can help me with that it'd be great though. I have some images on hand I'd like to be used.

I approve of this thread.

>Satorin !KOMEijI/Jg

>>7173201
you forgot your madotsuki or something?

>>7173195
>>7173195
let me ask a friend who is really good a photoshop

>>7173133
>hello /jp/ how is your night?
Pretty good.
what are you doing?
Not much.
can i help you somehow?
You make things nicer for me just by being you, Cirno.

>>7173216
really?

>>7173220
no

Reported. Take your roleplaying elsewhere, you fucking pathetic fag.

>>7173223
awww
>>7173231
i could but i dont feel like it, whats the matter of having someone who cares about you and wanna listen to your problems to make you feel better

is that something bad?

>>7173231
That's not being very nice....

>>7173133
My night is okay, though I have to go to bed soon since I have a feeling I will be called to go to work tomorrow early. Been looking at all the internet April fools jokes this years, some decent ones.

I think I am beyond help though....people here still don't forget me.....

My evening was marred by one Mr. Carl Pavano. Heading to bed in five, so at least the day is almost over.

Goodnight shitty thread!

>>7173245
i see, well rest a lot so you can give your best at work.

sadly im busy now and i will afk for like 2 hours
this is my msn

cirno-chan@hotmail.com

I was having a nice night until I saw this thread.

>>7173253
your bump really helps me
>>7173262
because being lonely is better than having someone who wanna be on your side?

/jp/ still hates these types of threads...

Maybe its time I get out of my hibernation and start posting again, its been too long.

Also, haters gonna hate etc.

　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧　　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　　　　 （　´∀｀）　＜　My head!!!!!
　　　　　　　　／　　　　|　　　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　　　　　/ 　　　 　 .|　　　　　
　　　　　　 / "⌒ヽ |.ｲ |
　　　＿＿ |　　　.ノ | || |＿＿
　 .　　　 ノく＿＿つ∪∪　　 ＼
　　　＿（（＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＼
　　 ￣￣ヽつ￣￣￣￣￣￣ | |￣
　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿__| |
　　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |

>>7173268
>>7173268
i wonder why anon hates being loved

Will you give me a hug, Cirno-chan~?

baka has nice ass???

　　　　 ∧＿∧
　　　　( ´･ω･`) 　　 　∧＿∧
　　　 ／ 　　　 ＼　 　（´Д｀　） What the fuck is
.＿＿|　|　　　 .|　|＿　/ 　　 　 ヽ this guy talking about
||＼　￣￣￣￣　　 ／ .|　　　|　|
||＼..∧＿∧　 　　(⌒＼|_＿./ ./
||.　 （ 　　　）　　　　 ~＼___＿_ノ|　　 ∧＿∧
　　/　　　ヽ　　Shut up man.　 ＼| 　 （　´_ゝ`）　Drunken bastard
　　|　　　　　ヽ　　　 　　　　　　　＼/ 　　　 ヽ.
　　|　　　　|ヽ、二⌒) 　　　　 　　／ .|　　　|　|
　　.|　　　　ヽ　＼∧＿∧　　　 (⌒＼|_＿./　/

>>7173267
No, because either your typing is terrible or your English teacher did a terrible job.

>>7173281
why not?

>>7173282
w-why would you ask that......
>>7173286
>he dont get it

　人　　　　　
　　（＿_）　　　　
　 （＿＿）　　　
　（ ＿＿ ）　　　　
　（　・∀・）　＜　Shit thread award!
　（つ　　 つ　　　
　｜ ｜　|　　　　　
　（_＿）＿）

[aa]
　　　　　　　 　 　　 　 ／｀＼_
　　　　　　 　　 _」､.-‐| |l.ザl| |''7､
　　　　　 ,..::'"´::::|　＼ﾊ| ナ l//:::::｀ヾ‐ｧ
　　　|｀ﾞく:::::::::::::::ﾊｧ‐'"ゝ-─ﾍ_こ二ヽﾊ
　　「｀ヽ!_7‐-‐'"´`ｧ‐-‐'"´￣　　 ｀i`'-‐ｧ
　　 `ｧ､_,. -=ﾆ＞'´　 i　,! 　 ,ﾊ 　 ,ﾊヽ/｀ヽ
　.／/　>r'´　! 　/._メ」/ !　/ _」メ.i 　 i⌒) ）
　!::::i　//i　　|　7'´i,ﾉ｀iヽﾚ'　'!ﾉ!`yi ,ﾊﾉイ-'　　　　It's healthy, not lewd!
　＼_`! ! ',. 　ﾚ'|`　ｉ__,ｿ　　　 り　'|/|　/|　　　_人_
　 　 ｀! !､ｿ＼ !⊂⊃　 ,.-‐-､　⊂〉ｲ./:::!/）')､　　 て_
　　　 ヽ/ .　　`! |＞, ､! _＿.ﾉ,. イｧｰ'´7iつ' 'く　　 (´　
　　　　 i　i　　八|ｧくi>凹ソしi' y' 　 　| |-r‐'｀´
　　　　 | ,ﾊ／ ,.く__7:::::o:::::::ﾍ.,_ｊ､.　 　! |::|!
　　　_ノﾚ'　_／　 /､:::::o:::::::::::::;| ｀ヽ､,_V_/
　 ＜__/　// 　 ,く::::::::o:::::::ｰ::'::::>､　|:::::|
　　　　　iゝ､__,／::＼::::::::::::;;::イヽ;::ヽ＼|
　　　　／´し'ヽ;::::/::::｀T"´:::::::';:::::∨
　　 ／　　/ 　 |＼:::::::::!::::::::::::::';:／
　　|　　__/　　 i'こ7ｰ-'--─＜,ハ
　　 ￣　　　　 |_,ノ　　　　　　 ヽ,_j

　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　　　　 （　≖‿≖）　＜ Ｈａｘ　ｍｙ　ａｎｕｓ．
　　　　　　　　／　　　　|　　　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　　　　　/ 　　　 　 .|　　　　　
　　　　　　 / "⌒ヽ |.ｲ |
　　　＿＿ |　　　.ノ | || |＿＿
　 .　　　 ノく＿＿つ∪∪　　 ＼
　　　＿（（＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＼
　　 ￣￣ヽつ￣￣￣￣￣￣ | |￣
　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿__| |
　　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |

Stop right there criminal scum! >>7173295

　　　 ∧＿∧ ∩　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　( ´A｀)/ ＜　Why are you on an imageboard?
　＿ / /　　 /　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿______
＼⊂ノ￣￣￣￣＼
　||＼　　　　　　　　＼
　||＼||￣￣￣￣￣||

>>7173300

I told you to stop! Pay me attention!

　　 　 　　　　　　 , '´ ￣￣ ` ､
　　　　　　　　　　i　r-ｰ-┬-‐､i
　 　 　　　　　　　|　|,,＿ 　 ＿,{|
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　　　　 　 　 　 　 ﾄ.i 　 ,__''_!
　　　　 　 　　　／i/ l＼ ー .ｲ|､
　　　　,.､-　￣/ 　|　ｌ　 ￣ / |　|` ┬-､
　 　 /　 ヽ.　/ 　 　ト-` ､ノ- |　 l　　l　 ヽ.
　　/　　　 ∨ 　 　　l 　　|!　 | 　 ｀>　|　　i
　 /　　　　 |｀二^>　 ｌ.　　|　 |　＜＿_,|　　|
＿|　 　　　 |.|-<　　　 ＼ i　/　,イ_＿__!／ ＼
　 .|　　　　　{.|　 ` - ､ ,.---ｧ^!　| 　　 |￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣l
＿_{ 　　＿__|└―ｰ／　￣´ |ヽ |＿__ﾉ＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_|
　　｝／ -=　ヽ__ - 'ヽ 　 -‐　,r'ﾞ　　　l　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 |
＿_fﾞ/／￣￣　　　　　＿　-'　　　　 |＿＿＿＿＿ ,. - ￣　＼＿＿__|
　　| |　　- ￣　　　／　　　| 　 　 _　|￣￣￣￣ ／　　　　　　 ＼　￣|
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￣￣￣　　　 |　　　 _ 二 =〒 ￣　 ｝￣ ／　　　　　l |　　　　　　!￣￣|
＿＿＿＿＿__l　　　　　　 -ヾ￣　　l／　　 　 　　 　l|　　 　　　 |＿＿_|

I want to be the best, there ever was
To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause!

Radiatore, Pipe, Barbina, Manti
Quadrefiore, Rigate, Fiori, Pici
Stelle, Orzo, Pearl Pasta, Ditali
Pastina, Mezzelune, Fregula, Ravioli!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

I'll search across the land, look far and wide
Release from my hand, the power that's inside!

We were talking about this with a friend earlier: WHY ARE HUMAN GIRLS SO ANGRY AT YOUKAI?

and we came up with this answer: they're jealous!

Let's see why:

* 1) They have awesome resistance to physical damage
* 2) They are more fit, they can outfly any human female anytime
* 3) They got waaaay stronger danmaku
* 4) They know how to treat a man better
* 5) They can take care of themselves. humans have forgot how to live without a society
* 6) They got specialities. They can gap, read minds, create universes, nuke things, you name it!
* 7) A youkai male wouldn't date a human girl. On the other hand, human men would drop their human girlfriend anytime for a youkai girl if given the chance
* 8) They're simply cooler. Admit it, maybe it wasn't the case some 2000 years ago, but nowadays being with a human gf sucks whereas being with a youkai gf is cool as hell
* 9) They got a sense of what family is about
* 10) They are amaaazing in bed

I could be going on and on and on but you get the point by now

We know we are not going back

this thread got really random, you guys are funny

∧＿∧　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　（∵∴∵(･) ）　　　　　　　　

　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（∵∴∵∴）　　　　　　

　 　
人∴∵Y　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 （∴（∵∴）　　　　　　　　　
＿＿＿＿∧＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
＿
今∴山●∵ﾐひど(･)tanasinnっ●∵す
(･)∵∴∵∵されく●ぁwせｄじこｌｐ；：「たり∵(･)∴●∵わ∵くぁ●wた

り
け(･)∵どtanasinn(･)∵∴∵●わヽ!∵∴∵ﾐ●ﾘﾉ!/ﾘま(･)ん、
∴人<・>女､●ぃの∵(･)∴∵(･)で●す、∵∴(･)∵∵/ﾘ●らがtanasin
nｆｔｇｙふじで●｡
でも●そ∵∴な(･)人メ●　∵∴tanasinnが定(･(･))しす
∵の名∵(･)これ●か | '`-イ∴(･)のイ●け<・>て●くメ∵(･)∵くぁ(･)wせ●ｄｒｆｔｇｙふじ

●こｌｐ；：「
でイ∵(･)●が変(･)どtanasinn∵(･)∴なこ　∵∴(･)
●の∴∵底<・>ｄi●i;|;_ﾞιｆ的∵●ぬ(･)tanasinn∵
こ∵まtanasinnばく(･)ぁw；：「い●∵∴(･)∵∵たてtanasinnし●(･)/ﾘらす
∵●∵(･)∴助●け●∵て∵(･)∵●し●∵
世∵のtanasinnの∵(･)∴れtanasinn<・>ら●を(･)tanasinnし∵∴●い∴(･)

>>7173321
In my home country, this is Gensokyo of japan, youkai student
1.stealing stuff everything
2.lyingto yama
3.spit to face when talking, mouth is bad smell
4.dont having money, many youkai student, hole in hats and dirty ribbons, old shoes
5.raping fairy because human gal say youkai boy no thanks, very ugly and fat
6.very smell of food eating by humans
7.very smell body, no bath long time, sometime 10 days?
youkai=monkey same same

>>7173325

Just get the fuck out if you really care about /jp/

No.

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

>>7173345
LOL.
>implying not shaving pubic hair automatically makes you filthy

Wow, someone spam bombing a thread that wasn't mine for once.

What a rare sight indeed.

>>7173356
this is normal for you?

>Scandaroon!/n8SKATORI
RIP

Captain: Our king is the god of war. He always stands on the frontline and does not know defeat.
Soldier 1: She, Sir.
Captain: What was that?
Soldier 1: Our king is a woman, sir.
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that.
Captain: He always stands on the frontline and does not know defeat! No one can stand in the way of-
Soldier 1: Forgive me for speaking out of turn, Captain, but that?'s definitely a woman.
Soldier 3: Though it might be a man with coconuts in his armor.
Soldier 2: Are you trying to say that our king carries fruits in her chest?
Captain: His chest! Look! Our king?'s dauntless figure has not changed since he-
Soldier 1: She, Sir.
Captain: QUIET! Our king has not changed since he pulled out the sword of selection! The king does not age, and he certainly does not walk around with coconuts pressed to his chest!
Soldier 3: So our king is a woman.
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that!
Soldier 1: I'm so glad that I?'m not the only one here that can see the blooming obvious!
Captain: Stop speaking of our king as if he were some common two-pence tramp! He, and I do mean he, is the incarnation of a dragon! He will lead us to victory against-
Soldier 1: She, Sir!
Captain: I've had enough out of you!
Soldier 1: With all due respect, Captain, you're a bloody loony! I am loyal to the king, but the king is a woman!
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that!
Soldier 3: I wouldn't mind having a quickie with her, if you know what I mean!
Captain: ENOUGH! Our king is the blooming god of war! He does not walk around with coconuts in his chest, he is not quite a looker, and there will be no having quickies with our king!
Saber: Is there a problem, Captain?
Captain: Your majesty, I-
Soldier 1: Your majesty, you're a woman, right?
Saber: Gender is meaningless. I am the wielder of Excalibur and the King of Britain.
Soldier 3: She's a hermaphrodite?

_、,_
　① （⊂_　　ﾐ　Invented by Korean
　↓
　 ② （ ´_⊃｀）　Commercialized by American
　↓
　③ ﾐ　´_＞｀） Invested by British
　↓
　④ ξ ・_>・） Designed by French
　↓
　⑤ （ ´U_,｀） Publicized by Italian
　↓
　⑥ （　´∀｀）　Improved & miniaturized by German
　↓
　⑦ （ ｀ハ´）　Pirated by Chinese
　↓　　　_,,_
　⑧ <ヽ｀д´>　Claimed its origin by Japanese

>>7173362
Well back when I used to create these types of threads often, I have several dedicated spammers that would do this, I even had a nickname for my favorite one.

I think one of the worst plagues to hit /jp/ is waifus. If /jp/ was once a place where only the Internet's finest would hang out and talk about VNs and idols, now all the waifu lovers who never had anything to do with /jp/ come here to post their "This is my waifu and I love her" waifu images. Just for the record, I have 2 waifus, and I take care of them very well, even though they're diametrically opposed which makes the task more difficult. It didn't bother me much when it only happened every so often, but when it happens daily and is constantly reposted is when it crosses the line. Take the maiwaifu.com site as an example. The retard who made it has nothing to do with /jp/, and neither do any of the fags who replied to him (f/a/ggots). /jp/ turned from the speakeasy club of the internet to a place where fags from G/a/ia and MySp/a/ce meet to talk about their waifu of the week. It gets worse when the waifu fags say stuff like this, and I quote:

>this thread will be up in both /a/ and /jp/ so play nice and have a fun Valentine's with your waifu.

/jp/ loaths anything to do with that shithole /a/ you idiots, get the fuck out.

Waifus are a reigning plague of faggotry that must be stopped.

♫ Dark night nothing to see
Invisible hand in front of me
Scared to death there's someone near
Scared to move but you can't stay here ♪

♫ You know me, evil eye
You know me, prepare to die
You know me, the Kujo kiss
Devil’s grip, the Iron Fist ♪

♫ Flying wheel don't make a sound
Flying fist don't touch the ground
Dodge in circle lose you track
Can't go on but you can't go back ♪

♫ You know me, evil eye
You know me, prepare to die
You know me, you can't resist
Devil’s grip, the Iron Fist ♪

♫ Move the ship and you know why
Shrine maidens in the sky
Summon you to nyuudo cloud
Smash your face and knock you down ♪

♫ You know me, evil eye
You know me, prepare to die
You know me, the gravel kiss
Devil's grip, the Iron Fist ♪

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to play Ar Tonelico about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the game, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last fight.
Then I played the game again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Jakuri every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Jakuri.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Jakuri. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Jakuri everywhere.
I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Jakuri dolls.. Jakuri is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Jakuri. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Jakuri. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So, this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Jakuri break free from behind her glass prison.
Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

Have a Cirno, Cirno.

It's not the best but I tried. If I wasn't half asleep right now I might have done better

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

Start with a cage containing five monkey. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, one of the monkeys will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, then, all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairs. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, and then a fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not?

Because Otaku Culture.

>>7173385
im not from /a/ silly, i just came here to have a chat or something.

/jp/ threads are on thursday and i will make one every thursday because everyone needs love and /jp/ is not the exception

and yes i know is friday today

One day, Mokou was out shopping with the neet. They drank a lot of lemonade and had to piss, so they went to the bathroom together. While Mokou was doing her business, the neet stuck her head under the stall divider.

"So what do you think of that new dress? Shit is so cash, right?"

"Kaguya, you can't do that!" Mokou screamed. "Get out!"

Mokou started kicking the neet in the face, but the neet braved the pain and slithered under the divider and into the spacious stall. The neet carefully squirmed her arm under Mokou's leg and began to finger her. This caused Mokou's piss stream to intensify, a golden torrent rivaling a fire hydrant. The piss was powerful enough to knock down the stall door, sending it crashing into the far wall. Picking Mokou up by her underarms, the neet carried her around as a mobile piss cannon, blasting holes in walls and ripping apart innocent shoppers in a wall of hot urine. When Mokou was finally exhausted, the pair stood in the ruins of the mall, knee-deep in a golden lake. Piss mixed with shoppers' blood rained down from what was left of the ceiling. Too embarrassed to even move, she offered no resistance as the neet shoved her head underwater and drowned Mokou in her own piss. The neet whipped out her cell phone and called Cirno, informing the fairy of a whole new lake that just formed that she can play in.

And they named it FINLAND

>>7173366
Don't remind me, I miss him already. Can't believe my friend is dead.

Thanks for teaching me that I am an purpose. We all know I like saten-san, I am not fooling anyone!

>This has got to be one of the worst daily doses ever.

Dinosaurs are one of the coolest things from my childhood, and I remember all the dinos-- MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL ABOUT THEM? MOTHERFUCKER, I WANT A CUTE LITTLE VELOCIRAPTOR AS A PET, TO CUDDLE UP WITH HIS FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING. I DON'T MEAN A JURASSIC PARK VELOCIRAPTOR EITHER, THAT'S A DIENONYCHUS, I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL VELOCIRAPTOR. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAT, AND IT'S A PACK ANIMAL, SO IT WOULD BE LIKE HAVING A TWO LEGGED DOG COVERED IN FEATHERS. I'D TOTALLY NAME HIM SOMETHING AWESOME, LIKE NATHANIEL OR SOMETHING, AND I'D CARRY HIM AROUND WITH ME, AND MAYBE TEACH HIM TO STAND ON MY SHOULDER, AND ALL THE GIRLS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT, THEY'D BE "OH, ENGARDE, THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE RAPTOR YOU'VE GOT THERE, CAN I PET HIM?" AND I'D BE LIKE, "WELL, SURE YOU CAN, NATHANIEL LIKES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN." AND THEN SHE'D BE ALL BLUSHY, AND WE'D START A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT RAPTORS, BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE DINOSAURS.
I'D HAVE NATHANIEL SIT ON MY DESK AND KEEP ME COMPANY ALL DAY.

>>7173394
at least you can draw on the computer

ITT: Brian samefags his thread

>>7173402
Hey Cirno, could you beat the Stig in your Cirnomobile?

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! did you leave the lists alone?
Chorus:
Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call.

We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! did you leave that source alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no side-effecting
We don't need no flow control
No global variables for execution
Hey! did you leave the args alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special-nodes
No dark bit-flipping for debugging
Hey! did you leave those bits alone?
(Chorus)
-- "Another Glitch in the Call", a la Pink Floyd

One day, Mokou was out shopping with the neet. Itt: the best quality /jp/ reaction faces.

I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

>this thread is still here.

>71 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

Seriously /jp/?

Hi, I'm here to troll the thr-

...
Well damn, someone else beat me to it.

>>7173426
get used to it
>>7173430
we can do better

>>7173434
funny, im liking what anons are posting

>>7173430
>>7173426

welcome to /jp/

>>7173412

I only started recently, bought myself a tablet to draw with so I wouldn't have to settle for permanent pencil mistakes and having to scan things in the dead of night so I wouldn't have my family bothering me as to what I draw on a regular basis.

It's a lot more convenient, given that I don't need to scan things daily and deal with nosy people.

I'll get better eventually, it'll just take a lot of practice and whatnot.

Silly question time; would there be a possible way I can talk to you regularly outside of the occasional thread? I'm kind of short on friends and you seem like a nice person to talk to.

>>7173439
You're completely right. I might have to bring out the big guns if you continue making these horrid threads like clockwork.

The way you see it there are three possibilities : I am samefagging, I am impossibly easy to troll, or I think I am counter-trolling or some ridiculous nonsense.

i was playing icewind dale II until I got to a part that just frustrated me to no end for 30 minutes and then quit. Which is just about every other battle in that game holy shit it seems so much harder than the first for some reason.

Omg (″･?_･?)っ-? Im Anonymous and I absolutely luuuv ?_? Fourchan ( ﾟ 3ﾟ)~♪ and my fav is the anime and yuri boards!!!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu illya!! ｷﾀ━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN moe IN PERSON!!! Supa moe desu!!!!!!!! ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━━━━ｯ!

When I walked onto Tokyo street looked up and saw&ILLYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ｷﾀ━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━ｯ!!!!

KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA MOE ILLYA-CHAN!!!!! I yelled then she turned tsuntsun then deredere!!

she looked at me (｡????｡) and then he saw how hot I am ( ???) she grabbed my hand and let me knead her delicious flat chest (´・ω・)つ|・・|then pulled me behind a coffee shop （￣へ￣） and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE SNOW!!! RLY!! ( ´∀`) （ﾟДﾟ;) ( ´∀`) \(°∀°)ﾉ \(°∀°)ﾉ\(°∀°)ﾉ then I saw some baka fat bastard watching us and I could tell he was undressing her with his eyes!!!!!!! （￣へ￣）; OMG I COULDNT BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! ?_? ?_? ?_?] so I yelled UH UH BAKA NEKO THATS MY GIRL WHY DONT YOU GO HOOK UP WITH TAIGA CAUSE ILLYA-CHAN LOVES ME!!! ?_? then illya held me close (｡????｡) and said she would only ever love me!!!!!!!! an guess wat!!!!!! she let me knead her again!!!!!!! ** (´・ω・)つ|・・| then we went to her apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became holy grails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━━━━ｯ

Blog and RP?

Needs more Aikido and hamburger.

>>7173447
>>7173447
already posted my msn and i dont think you would like going on with an underage girl
>>7173452
try harder!

>>7173445

>welcome to /jp/

Thank Kanako, I thought for a moment I was in /a/ again.

CHOOSING THE BEST GIRL
by Sam
Choosong the best girls for your larder is a rather complicated matter. First you must decise what recipe the girl will be used for, then the choices can be narrowed. Then you must prepare the body based on the use to be made of the meat. Different recipes and different cooking methods determine the age, size, and preparation method.
I know most of you were told not to play with your food, but girlmeat is an exception to that rule. Before butchering, you should put her to good use. Sucking your cock is always great, but fucking her and then stuffing her cunt with your cum still inside her provides an interesting flavor addition to the stuffing mix. Also a well used cunt will be more muscular and therefore more meaty.
The best girls are between 14 and 20 years of age, with proportionately developed bodies. They should be neither fat nor skinny, except in special cases.

Since the dawn of time
I've rolled across the earth
Spinning in the dust
Long before your birth
Eatin' tar and gasoline
Every light I see is green
Open pipes, my machine's
triple-plated chrome

Spirit of the wheel
Wheels of fire burn the night
Ride across the sky
Wheels of fire burning bright
We live to ride

Motors running
Now you're gonna learn
Waiting on the line
Make your tires burn
Fast, faster, faster, faster
Speeding always kills
Nothing else takes us to get these thrills

Spirit of the wheel
Wheels of fire burn the night
Ride across the sky
Wheels of fire burning bright
We live to ride

Blood and thunder on the road
My heart is pounding
My blood is nitroglycerin
I'm fire
Burning, burning, burning, burning
Ready to explode
Don't want nothing left of me to scrape off the road

Spirit of the wheel
Wheels of fire burn the night
Ride across the sky
Wheels of fire burning bright
We live to ride

Clouds of smoke
Tires screaming
Fire in my hair
Blown into a thousand pieces
Scattered everywhere
Fast, burn, burning, faster
Wanna take a ride
Spirit of the wheel
Wheels of fires ride

Spirit of the wheel
Wheels of fire burn the night
Ride across the sky
Wheels of fire burning bright
We live to ride

>>7173468

Oh, sorry. I didn't read very well. My bad. I'll add you in a few minutes.

>>7173461
>hamburger

You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only childrens laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.

Go to bed Persephone.
Sad that you attentionwhore so much I know you by first name.

I like how this thread has /prog/ in it.

You ask for a hamburger. All the molecules in the universe have shifted one inch to the left. The hamburger asks for you. Somehow you have appeared in soviet Russia. You start awake sweating in your own bed. I give you a hamburger. Shrieking, you stagger into the road in a daze. You ask for a hamburger. The ambulance does not arrive in time. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. As you take a bite you notice ants all over your skin. You ask for a hamburger. The children cry over their father's dead body. You ask for a hamburger. You are blind, but you can feel the worms writhing in your stomach. I am your father. I give you a hamburger. You giggle as I stumble. I ask for a hamburger, you give me a hamburger. You awake with a start in your own bed.

I give you a hamburger. The wizened meat explodes to dust and you realise eons have passed and you are alone in a desolate waste. You awake screaming.

I give you a hamburger.

You take the hamburger with trembling hands. Your eye twitches involuntarily. As you take a bite the ants crawl into your mouth. You look at me desperately. I give you a hamburger. You awake in the corner of your wardrobe in tears. I give you a hamburger. You notice the semitrailer bearing down on you. You try to take a bite but your jaws refuse to open. I give you a hamburger. Your children stop giggling as they hear the sickening crack of your skull meeting the pavement. I give you a hamburger. Collapsing, you vomit uncontrollably. You take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily.

I give you a hamburger.

I give you a hamburger.

>>7173497
I like how trash runs their mouth off without knowing of the SICP spam we used to do daily.

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.