/jp/ - Otaku Culture

What's the catch?

I can't, I'll die.

No really I have a heart condition.

No thanks, I'm gay.

Gay marriage is ban in the US.

>>7037720
>What's the catch?
He's a man.

No Mio, no deal.

>>7037715
But I want to be the one to do that to anon-sama. I want to be his maid.

Sure I guess, just wait for me to get my degree so I can become a teacher. Then we can become roommates.

>>7037720

I'm not male. 3D pig disgusting.

>>7037733
As long as he looks like a trap, I'm down.

I love everyone, but not in that way. I must not love anyone in that way.

What happened to that girl who wanted to be a maid a few months back? The one that Fujiwara no Mokou was talking to?

If you look like Yin you've got a deal.

>>7037747
fuck, now i'm curious too

>>7037715
*disguised as a normal person, not a maid*
Ok then

Finally, someone who will eat the other half of my shin

>>7037747

Are you talking about the one that was going to apply for the maid cafe, or someone different?

Fuck. I want a loving maid, where do I sigh up?

>>7037779
He is talking about the one that said they would live with someone and be their maid. I don't really remember too well, but I do remember the thread. If you check Fujiwara no Mokou's posts, you should be able to find the thread. I believe the OP of the thread had a picture of Sakuya too.

>>7037779
it was a girl who wanted somewhere to stay and said she'd be a live-in maid in return. i don't remember if she said she could cook or not.

>>7037715
Only if she's pretty.
If only this was how real life worked too.

>>7037785
yeah
only rich people can afford pretty maids
all the other maids are mexicans or filipinos in their 30s and up

There are no decent traps on /jp/.

Why would you do that to Hei, you cheating whore?

>>7037789

Honestly, if I got a place to live and the person wasn't a jerk, I would stay for free and be their maid and cook for then and what not.
I don't have any friends, so it's not like I have much to lose...

>>7037803
Azunyan's lip could use some lipstick in that picture.

>>7037803
but are you pretty?
no one wants a live-in maid who isn't pretty.

>>7037811
an average girl would be fine as long as she would put out on a daily basis and then clean up and make a sandwich.

>>7037819
the sex part would put off most of them

>>7037824
I would be happy with just someone to do all the cooking/cleaning for me.

>>7037824
I get told I'm cute or adorable more than anything.

>>7037811
If you're applying to be a live in maid, and don't expect to not have sexual relationships with your master, you're doing it wrong.

>>7037824
I get told I'm cute or adorable more than anything.

>>7037811
If you're applying to be a live in maid, and expect to not have sexual relationships with your master, you're doing it wrong.

I want to choke you with my dick.

i want a slave, not a maid.

I wish I could love someone and live with them too but the only people I've felt a connection with were all on the internet and they were the wrong gender.

Can you cuddle a live in maid?

If I made about 100k I'd get a live-in maid. I'd make her go to conventions with me.

But I don't.

>>7037715
ARE YOU WILLING TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS WITH ME? IF SO, THEN I NEED YOU TO ASSST ME IN PUNCHING UNHOLY DEMONS IN THE FACE WITH NO HAND PROTECTION (DID I MENTION THAT THEIR BLOOD IS ACIDIC?)!
AFTER THAT WE MUST SLAY DARKDEATHEVILMAN IN HIS FORTRESS OF DARKNESS AND SPIKES. ARE YOU UP TO IT?

>>7037851

What the hell?

sure why not

>>7037854
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY REQUEST? IY SOUNDS REASONABLE TO ME. WHY AM I SHOUTING?

I'm a little conflicted on maids. I really want one, I love their elegance, I love their courtesy, I love their practical skills, I love their uniforms, I like the polite way they're trained to speak, I love their loyalty, I love their obedience, but.... I'm also a hard M.

>>7037854
MY REQUEST IS REASONABLE. SHE SHALL BE MY BATTLEMAID.

>>7037872
a faithful maid could be hard S for her master, I don't see the problem. Actually the gap would be pretty arousing.

>>7037872

Hard M?

>>7037895
master/slave I think.

>>7037898
maso/sado actually.

>>7037872
>I'm a little conflicted on maids. I really want one, I love their elegance, I love their courtesy, I love their practical skills, I love their uniforms, I like the polite way they're trained to speak, I love their loyalty, I love their obedience, but.... I'm also a hard M.
Does everything have to be about your fetish?

>>7037879
S maids really get me off for that reason. But usually it's when you're taking in as a lowly slave by an ojousama, so your status is below that of the maid, and she orders the maid to molest you as she wants. Still very arousing. Pure S maids are such a rare delicacy. I guess someone who chooses to be a maid in the first place have certain expectations of being molested by their master, so I'd probably be considered a failure as a master if I suddenly told her to have her way with me.

>>7037903
Well, when you're truly a hard M, it kinda does.

That would be pretty damned awesome, I think.

Even though I live in a dorm apartment with a shared kitchen, I'm sure it could work out.

I won't let her help with the other people's kitchen cleaning duties, though. Unless we're away on my day and we therefore owe a favor, of course.

I'd have to make it seem like a little bit more "fair" relationship, though, so I'd help out with some of the cooking and such.

A student with a silver-haired girlfriend who happens to like acting as a maid?
The status of the other people in the shared kitchen would probably be MAD JELLY no matter what.

It hurts to know I'll never have anyone like that ;_;

>>7037910

I've always wanted to live in a dorm.
The college I went to doesn't offer rooms, because of its location, so I had to commute. I never got to live out of my parents house.
I went to a culinary school though!

>>7037910
especially not in a dorm

>>7037905
it is meidos job to keep you in line too

i mean how would you get any work done if you had to do chores and someone isnt on your case all the time

>>7037928
It kinda sucks that I can hear my neighbors through the wall and I wake up when people shout in the yard at 4AM in the weekends, but apart from that it's pretty nice.

I ride my bike for 10 minutes through town to get to class.

And it's cheap to live here.
Just short of $400/mo. while I get $1000 from the government because I'm a student.

Because I don't go out and spend money on drinks and clothes all the time, I can actually save up money from this to buy stuff form Japan, computer equipment, etc.

A maid might be nice to have. I don't want to have to love it or give it attention, though.

How good are you at being cold and condescending while still polite and elegant? I want someone to speak on my behalf when strangers try to address me directly.

>>7037944
You're looking for a secretary, not a maid.

>>7037946
More like a stand-in/bodyguard type of spokesperson from the way he makes it sound.

I'd like to have such a person as well to accompany me around.

If the maid could do that, I'd put her in one of those business suits with a skirt and such.
She could be my driver as well.

Maybe I'd actually like being that person who could do everything for another person.

I swom your eyes .

OP, inform >>7037946 of the distinction between an attendant and a clerical assistant.

>>7037975

I... guess? I'm not looking to be either though.
I was looking to just do typical maid stuff. Not really leaving the house to much, unless it was on an outing with you.
N-not that I w-want to go out with you or anything, idiot...

>>7038004
h-HNGHH

>>7038004
... Well, there goes my heart.

>>7038004

It feels...like magic.

OP is a faggot

>>7038004
Well, you're hired. Now do something about my nosebleed. ;_;

>>7037715
Where do you live?

>>7038132

East Coast.

>>7038150

Well, New England to be more exact.

>>7038152
Well, wrong continent. Damn...

>>7037872
Go watch Chocotto Sister and/or Maria Holic, I don't think you'll regret it, they both have assertive maid characters and MH is getting a second season soon.

>>7038187
Actually, I'll go download them right away. I've been wanting something new to watch, and the maid in Maria Holic has interested me greatly from some of the porn I've seen her in. Never heard of the other one, but I'll take your word for it.

I'm left wondering how many of you anons would really try something like this and how many are just playing around on /jp/.

How many would be able to make the leap of faith, trusting in another anon? Perhaps this is a means of breaking the mundane cycle of disappointment, getting one step closer to the craved fantasy by breaking from everything with an act so unusual, something a normal would never manage.

Is the unwillingness to risk the unknown what keeps us from being happier? How many of you would really risk something like this. How many of you would be loving enough to support each other?

>>7038411
One thing I've learned throughout all the years I've lived is that good things don't happen. Things either stay the same, or they get fucked up and drastically decrease the quality of your life. That's why they say you need to appreciate what you have, because that's all you'll ever get. I certainly became much happier once I learned to appreciate what is rather than getting worked up over what should be.

>>7038427
>appreciate what you have, because that's all you'll ever get

But surely that's a self fulfilling prophecy. Doesn't that lead to a life that, many anons, will be denied happiness in, a life only a normal could be satisfied with?

>>7038490
From what I've seen, only normals strive for the happiness that doesn't exist. They're the ones who insist that there's a girl out there for everyone who will be perfect for you and grant you eternal happiness as soon as you find her. Personally, I deny that convenient delusion. It serves no purpose, the people chasing it are not happy. I wish to rejoice in what's before me, not some vague promise of happiness that you're only able to believe in because you've repeated it to yourself over and over until it seems real. I don't see why people think this is somehow unfulfilling, it's the exact opposite, you get exactly what you're after, instead of condemning yourself to eternal frustration in some fruitless pseudo-metaphysical chase.

>>7038499
Oh I'm by no means saying you're living an unfulfilled life, if you're happy, that's dandy. But being lucky enough to have something to be content with isn't universal, nor do people often deserve what they get. If you're lucky enough to be content with life, I'm not arguing you shouldn't.

I'm just curious as to how many anons would be willing to risk breaking the cycle of mundane hell for something more satisfying, and how many are just playing a part in the boards fantasies.

How we got to talking about
>strive for the happiness that doesn't exist. They're the ones who insist that there's a girl out there for everyone
Is bemusing me, It's painfully obvious every day that that's not the case.

>>7038411
>>7038427
>>7038490
>>7038499
>>7038525

What did this thread turn into...

>70+ replies
Seriously, guys.

/jp/ needs LOVE.

>>7038588
Don't worry anon, I love you.

>>7038525
I guess I interpreted your points quite liberally and made too quick conclusions about what ideas you were trying to spread. And it's not like breaking the circle is bad, sometimes you need to jump into something that will most likely be a horrible experience so that you can realize how much you really loved what you used to have. For example, join the military trying to become normal, and then realize how horrible it is to be in the military and how much you loved just living a worthless existence as a NEET and that you're willing to shoot yourself in the leg in order to return to it.

>>7038595
Oh I can wholeheartedly agree with everything there. I was solely referring to doing something completely out of a normals scope, in this case living with another anon as a maid or otherwise. The idea of two broken anons using each other as support to live a quality of life mildly above that of going it alone is just interesting.

>>7038607
Well, I doubt it would ever happen. It's a nice fantasy, because you can imagine imagine anon as a cute and shy boy who was always rejected by society and thus quickly grows dependent on you, the first person in his life to show him true affection, and who looks extremely adorable in a maid uniform. Since this is a very appealing fantasy, people might entertain the thought for a while with some skepticism, figuring it wouldn't hurt to inquire a little further, but the whole delusion is destroyed long before it goes anywhere. After all, there's no way my anon could be that cute.

>>7038637
Indeed, hence the (probably warranted) fear to risk it and continued cycle of mundane life. Is a fantastical life denied by an inability to believe in any fantasy.

It bemuses me that anons refuse to gamble a life that they'll joke about throwing away in portal threads.

Alas, I'll always love you anon.

Who is the girl in the OP's pic?

>>7038682
Yin from darker than black.

We had a maid when I was little.

She was ugly. They all are. It's just like any other fetish -- the ugly reality is made pretty. See also: nurses, most secretaries, most teachers, really any "smart" professional (ESPECIALLY LIBRARIANS). All fetishised. All ugly.

Reminds me of this but ronerier

http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/jp/thread/6456190#p6456502

I just want someone to cook and clean because I have to move out soon and I don't wanna do that shit.

>>7037837

>i want a slave

Cut that shit out.

>>7038866
Back to my plantation, Sambo.

>>7038875

I like these doubles I got too much to go anywhere.

>>7038892
Guess I'll have to take out the cat-o'-nine-tails.

>>7038903

>slow day on /jp/
>interracial BDSM fantasies.

I admit to some bemusement at this turn of events.

There are probably no german maidos around are there? No?

>>7038966
The Herrenrasse does not become your maid, puny jew.

>>7037720
rhe catch: she doesn't exist

>>7037715
but will you love me in return?

>>7038980
no you're fat

>>7039058

I wish you guys would take me seriously. ;_;

I'm not even asking for money.
I just want to be with someone and live with them. I'll take care of them, and in return I want them to... well, treat me nicely...
Someone who can appreciate a good maid, and someone who has the same interest and hobbies as me.

>>7041080

But you're a guy and 3D.

>>7041091

But I'm not.

>>7041099
You're a 2D girl?!

>>7041080
I can hardly support myself anon, what makes you think I can support you as well? I live in a small studio apartment, I live off two small meals a day, and had to really cut back on heating this winter to save money. I know you say you'll pay for yourself, and even though my place only contains a bed and a computer desk, there is hardly any space for a second bed or any of your belongings. There is hardly anything to clean or cook either, I've not watched anime in a while, so the only thing to do would be read eroge all day.

If you can find ways to bring my grocery bill down enough to cover two people without a serious decrease in quality, be my guest.

OP how about you support me morally online instead?

I have no idea what is going on but this thread seems fun. Please do continue~

>>7041080
This is killing me..please ..stop..or I'll die..again

>>7038972

>The Herrenrasse does not become your maid, puny jew.

But you were maids to SOVIET RUSSIA and the so-called inferior Slavic races.

How did it feel to have Soviet tanks and boots stomping on your precious Vaterland? Did you enjoy watching the Red flag fly over East Berlin?

>>7041080

The last thing anyone wants is a burden.
Even if you're trying it for good intentions, it won't last.
You're best off inviting people to your home, instead of having someone invite you.

>>7041127

I worked a fair amount, I was planing on paying for myself entirely. If anything, I'd be buying the food everyday for the both of us.

>>7041219
I'm not seeing why you would want to live with someone then. Living with random people is not how love works.

>>7041226

I'm not OP. I'm not talking about love, I'm talking about not being alone.

>>7041266
Oh. Carry on then.

But honestly I wouldn't just invite some randomer from the internet to live with me. Getting to know someone online is fine, and (I guess) meeting them once or so could be thinkable under the right circumstances, but just living with them without knowing them is absurd.

>>7038637
massive self-esteem issues would be a much bigger issue than looks--it would be really distressing to have someone place their trust in you only to end up hurting them. it is one thing to be self-destructive but wholly another to ruin another; i think i would be worried about lacking some human component necessary to really care about someone.

i am quite afraid of finding such a cruel and ugly side of myself so it makes sense to avoid everyone, even though it seems so tempting.

>>7041291
but when you talk to them online first you generate assumptions so later on when you meet them in real life..everything crumbles.

so wouldn't it be better to just meet them irl first?

don't take my word for it, just a thought

>>7041291
But anon, couldn't such an absurd action be the gateway to a better life, breaking free from the mundanity?

>>7041504
Oh anon, I really do love you. How wonderful you are, so loving that you'd care about ruining someone else, surely that makes you worth more than any normal, how many of them care about the hell they make life for others? If you ever end up desperate enough to gamble everything you have, I'd let you ruin me. I love you anon.

>>7041539

Actually I like this idea. Meido, are you still here? Where in New England do you live?
If you live anywhere near CT, let me know.

>>7041080

Ok.
>captcha ainitity BELIEVE

I'd... actually love to have an Anon live with me in this sort of way.

>>7041197
Oh Arc, there's always room for a Soviet maid in my house!

Even though it's trolling I'd be curious to see how this worked out. I imagining a few different possibilities...

1. One of them is just a dick and trolls the other one, everyone on /jp/ laughs and forgets within the week.

2. One (or both) of them is a fucking psycho and kills the other, the victim is found dead a few days later. In 5 different locations.

3. They live together for a while, never speak, and give up since they're both so ronery and socially screwed that it doesn't work out because one of them freaks out when the toilet seat is left up or something.

4. They don't totally fail, share an ENTIRELY awkward fuck, then feel extremely weird and guilty about it, giving up.

Oh and I guess it might work out, probably not.

>>7042173
It'd be an interesting experiment. My curiosity now wants to see it play out.

>>7042145

I live in the city currently (NYC). I actually just moved from Mass, so I'm not technically in New England.
It's only about a little over an hour train ride to Connecticut though.

Haha, this sounds like an incredible deal. If only it was real.

>>7042173
Or anon and anon lived, not happily ever after, but happier than they were. Supporting each other, giving each other the love they never had, never hating the other, despite their faults, due to their own self loathing.

Wouldn't it be beautiful anon?

Be careful guys, last time I was offered something like that, it turned out to be an ordinary looking guy who refused to admit he wasn't a girl.

>>7042212
How do you optimists deal with the soul-crushing disappointment whenever you set your hopes THAT high?

I mean really, that's beyond a good outcome. It's just silly.

>>7042212
It'd be so beautiful.
But then you wake up.

If anyone lives in the shitty area of central valley, CA, you can be my meido.

inb4 meido hookup thread

>>7042247
>meido hookup thread
Murders, murders everywhere.

I have a similar but unrelated offer to /jp/. I don't have the time to give you attention, provide for you, or clean up after you but if you need a place overseas to hide out with no questions asked, I can lay a mat down in the guest bedroom.

>>7042261
This sounds like a quick way to get murdered.

>>7042271
Or arrested.

CAPTCHA:needed asidh

>>7042271
He'll murder you, or will someone murder him? Why murder always involved with that sorta stuff?

>>7042275
A little of column A, and a little of column B.

>>7042275
Everyone on /jp/ are either elegant loli ojousamas or yandere meidos.

>>7042212

>and then they went to Gensokyo together, FIN.

>>7041597
undoubtedly coming from such a sheltered background it is easy for me to say this but you shouldnt feel as though you need to cook or clean or do anything for someone for them to love you--as long as you can convey your feelings and emotions just like youre doing now im sure theyll be warmly received. i cant imagine many could be cold to such a cute maid waiting on them.

normals are probably just caught up in living and trying to protect the things dear to them, so dont think too badly about them: i do really think that because of other people we can get caught up in things--which i dont think is a bad thing, it makes life interesting--and that other people keep us in check so we dont get too carried away. so even if youre a bit selfish im sure everyone will graciously accept your feelings.

it does baffle me a bit that one could care for something at the detriment of ignoring all else, but i guess im not particularly attached enough to anything or anyone to feel that way.

i dont think it would be desperate at all, you should think more highly of yourself! although it is a bit out of the way since im in socal on the west coast but id be glad to chip in for airfare if you ever want to visit. i sort of miss new england since i havent gone back for years.

>>7042285

>Gensokyo

;__;

I wouldn't want a 3D maid anyway, if they live with you you have to take care of them as much as they take care of you.

But can you cook?

>>7042418
That's not necessarily true, most normals are just idiots led around by appearances and everyone else.

I'm a sort of wealthy NEET, used to work as a software developer, but now I spend my time alone with my games, visual novels, and programming projects. I had a nervous breakdown from the stresses of work and became a shut-in. I'm mostly recovered now, that was a couple of years ago, but I'm still taking it easy and plan to do so for the foreseeable future. Occasionally, I hang out with my brothers or sister, but I don't really have any other friends.

You can stay at my place, it's a 2 bedroom condo on the 16th floor of a 22-story sky rise. I'll even pay you a modest salary and travel expenses.

However, I do require that you post a picture of yourself.

>>7043011
I want to see this. Bump.