/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>/soc/

>too old imouto for anyone here anyway

God /jp/ is awful tonight.

That depends on how big your penis is

oh im sorry then.....

...

>>7005211

Anyone wanna make the too old joke or should I take this one

here's the mail it never fails it makes me wanna wag my tail when it comes i wanna wail MMMAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL

no need to make the too old joke, self esteem is already crushed.

>>7005225
Good. Now delete your thread.

hey kittles how are you?
omg is the blue hair real? do you know hatsune miku? XD
did you know that onii-chan means big brother in japanese?

>>7005225
Doing it anyway.

Too uh... heh heh... how do I say this... blah haha-- too old!

*wipes a tear away* Yeah, that's the good shit.

OP if you want a friend make a temporary IM account and post your contact info..just be careful.

Are we being raided again ? I'm seeing a lot of shitty thread right now, or at least even shittier than usual.
Well I was going to sleep anyway, just gonna report all that shit like the good /jp/ citizen I am.

I would cuddles you

I would cuddles anything ;_;

Hey Kettles, post your email address. I'll talk to ya if these chumps won't xD

i wanted to say oni-chan, but i was afraid someone would make fun of me... and ill just say im younger then you guys think, im below 18. And i cosplay hatsune miku.>>7005232
thanks for being kind

You look just like my sister. such is life.

>>7005244
thenaughtyapple@gmail.com
feel free to troll, too.

>>7005245
Cool. So how big's that dick?

Too lewd.

I have no dick. Sorry to break hearts.

>>7005267
Reported.

きもいだぜ

Delete this thread stay the fuck away from /jp/ it's for your own good.

theres a non perverted one.

This is almost heart-warming

But alas, I cannot place any attachment for fear that it is a troll. ;_;

>>7005267
Don't you fucking lie to me

>>7005277
what can i do to prove im not a troll? i dont have a camera....

>>7005273
I'm inclined to agree with this one, /jp/ would not be the best place to choose a surrogate older brother...

>>7005286
long as i get a wincest end later, i'll do it

>>7005285
I am not outright saying you're a troll at all, there's nothing to worry about there.

>>7005284
what? I fail to see what I said that was a lie.

This is a good thread.

There are no mods but I must report.

>>7005285
>i dont have a camera....

comeon ... at least troll better. i mean it is not like there are 3 pics of the girl in this thread.

Find a camera and take a picture of your dick to prove that you aren't a troll.

Oh no! A girl is in the clubhouse!

LET'S GET UPSET!

love,

an angry femanon


(Grow the fuck up)

>>7005285
You don't have a camera, yet you can take pics of yourself in a wig to post em here somehow. Gb2 /under a bridge/ troll.

why would i troll the people i like? and to drag it out this far... id be a stupid troll

Jesus christ why are you fucks even replying to this shit ?
Just report and move along for god's sake.

How old are you?

fine, report. i used to have a webcam on my last cmoputer that broke, the pictures are a year old.

>>7005322
>>7005322

wheres your sage, faggot

You can thank me later guys.

lol it's not a succesful troll thread if you're the only one replying.
You've been reported as you intended, now get out.

>>7005333
Right here, notice how my post doesn't bump the thread.

>>7005334
how do I got comic sans in box???

Heya Kittles. I'm here for you if you need me, remember that!

>>7005315
Well~

a little girl saying she likes all the same things /jp/ likes and says she wants to be the same object /jp/-ers fantasize in many ways, sounds too good to be true, and thus subject to scrutiny.

>>7005329
>implying you don't have a cell phone or any other type of camera

>>7005347
i sorta like being what a lot of otakus like. i dont like k-on though.....Ive based my existence on appealing to this culture.

>>7005272
Best comment in the thread.

>>7005307
Picture is for you, from a male anonymous.

>>7005343
Only true internet aficionados know the secrets of comic sans. I do not think you are ready to know just yet.

I will give you the link to the test board for comic sans, please use it wisely, maybe someday you will see the light

>>>/fk/5673

>>7005348
Not everyone in this world has a cell or camera sadly. Your talking to the person who has neither due to unforeseen circumstance. Give her a break, I can attest to her non-trollingness.

>>7005348
i dont have a cellphone, im poor.

>>7005365
>mwf /fk/ direct linking doesn't work

I'll be your brother if you learn how to spell correctly and use proper grammar.

>>7005367

If you were able to afford that outfit and some of the other stuff I see in these pictures you could certainly get a cheap phone.

>>7005360
I fail to see where k-on comes into this, i mean, I don't like it either...but that was rather out of nowhere

>>7005286
Anon, don't be silly, /jp/ is full of the most loving people around. Imagine all the pent up love, the altruistic desire to gift someone with the comfort that anon never had.

Alas, I don't blame anon for being too insecure to believe OP is real and not a troll, you've been hurt enough times by lies, right? It's hard to commit out of fear that you'll be let down again. But that's okay anon, it's to be expected and there's nothing wrong with that.

I love you /jp/

>>7005366
who in the tits are you

>>7005390
I'll do my best!

>OP's Face
>madotsukidrinkingmountaindewoutofherhand.jpg

If you're over 11 that's a no go.

>>7005360
>i dont like k-on though
girls like keion though. you arent girl

>>7005366
I might, MIGHT, have believe that until
>>7005367
The "I'm poor" argument isn't very good. And as
>>7005392
pointed out, there's no way you can't afford a cheap phone. How the hell did you take those pictures anyways if you don't have a camera?

>>7005348
I don't have either because what would I have to take pictures of and answering the phone scares me and it's not like I'd have anyone to call. So awkward having to tell normals you don't have a phone.

>>7005392
Ever heard of a gift? Cause I certainly recall seeing her open this as a present..

>>7005414
wow, i thought she was real until your insightful posting. thank.

>>7005414
as ive said, these are a year old. and i waited so long to save up that fucking money for what i have.

>>7005254
Is your email an MSN account too,
or just email? I tried both, but haven't gotten a response via MSN, so...

just email, and i have an aim, whenyoubinge.

>>7005414
Did she not just point out that the computer with a webcam installed broke? [such as my lenovo s10e, which DOES have a camera] vs a regular older computer, which often don't, which is what she's using, since she needed a new computer, and could barely afford it. Hence, the lack of phone. phone bills -> computer money.

>>7005367
I have money... BTW, how old are you?

>68 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

What the fuck /jp/ ? What the fuck ?

>>7005433
someone doesn't know what a prepaid phone is, do they.

>>7005315

It doesn't matter if you are a troll or not.... What I do find hilarious is that you're interacting with a bunch of people that Harry S. Plinkett material..

Troll or not, I'd be happy to be your big brother, father, or anything else you'd like... But you'd have to let me educate you.

OP won't say how old she is, so must be TOO OLD.

You do not enjoy these activities. your only reason for associating with them, is that it makes it simpler for you to reach males. You'd try anything as long as you could find a male to complete your worthlessness in life.

There are many female anonymous posters on /jp/, yet they do not feel the need to cry for attention as you do here. You are the typical 3DP.

>>>/soc/

If the janitor or moderator cleaning up this morning has any sense of duty, he will forward you to a permanent ban. I am ashamed to share the board with the lot of you feeding her primal urge for attention. Seems all that is left on this board are normals.

>>7005437
exemplar posting itt actually. good read.

>>7005434
Let this guy be your creepy uncle. He's got lots of money from his onion smuggling operation.

>>7005439
someone else obviously doesn't know that when your poor, even 40 dollars for a good one month plan makes a HUGE difference.

/jp/ meet up

Even if in the end it is a troll, it has been a good session, letting me imagine having a little sister I could relate to ;_;

>>7005395
/jp/ers would make terrible... oniichans because we can't even take care of ourselves, let alone other people (and a girl most of all)

also, you seem to have the wrong impression. Whether attention whores are legit or not is not the issue. God forbid she takes a picture with "<3 /jp XD XD" and the date written on it, the shit storm that would inssue. I simply would prefer that it is some some with pictures of his girlfriend or whatever trying to mess with me, because then who would give a fuck.

If you seriously are some lonely girl, please don't take this the wrong way and just leave. There is no possible way happiness will come from here. I'm sure there's a million guys that would love to hang out/fuck you whatever you want.

>>7005434

Now, now Mugen.... you have a wife and kid.

>>7005448
No really, there are phones you can get for $20 with a bit of time on them already, no monthly plans, no contracts, look it up.

/jp/

>>7005450
I wish /r9k/ was still around to contain desperate beta faggots like this guy.

>>7005456
too fat

>>7005447

Lots of money is an understatement...Onion smuggling? I thought it was printer ink.

Dear lord, and we say RP threads are bad?

>>7005469
good point. this bad thread means they are good.

>>7005468
It's all a front for his onion smuggling cartel.

im 15. go ahead and delete me.

>>7005464
Oh anon, I'm hurt, truly

In all honesty, I could be completely alone and still be perfectly fine with it, imagining things are just forms of entertainment.

More pictures please

>>7005448
Someone still doesn't know what a prepaid phone is.

>>7005472
LIKE HELL YOU ARE

>>7005460
Note here, those plans often have a bad phone included in them. Now, I also never said the word "contract." I DO recall saying "one month plan" though. one month plan cannot equal a contract. Not sure how/where you got that idea from.

>>7005472
...Well, 15 isn't TOO too old

I already have an imouto~ sorry.

>>7005481
and you need a good phone? the heck would you need one for, any phone today has a 1.5mp camera AT LEAST, and there's no plans, you dont even have to use a name or sign up to anything for fuck's sake.

>99 posts and 14 image replies omitted.

>>7005484

Yeah, only one foot in the grave.

I really hope kittles is a troll, otherwise I'm seriously disappointed. Actually, I'm disappointed either way. Take this to >>>/soc/

>>7005473
3D will never fullfill whatever things you're imaginning, even if you got yourself someone it wouldn't result in anything but disapointment since nothing can live up to the perfection that is 2D.
So stop fueling some random attention whore with what s/he's craving and embrace the omega male path, it will make your life better.

>>7005484
They're already too loose at that age.

>>7005496
and thus why I'm imagining rather than agonizing over not having a little sister.

>>7005452
Isn't that because anon is dissatisfied with life, maybe even hates themselves? It's a passive attempt to reach gensokyo. I'm sure if anon loved someone then they'd do anything for them, not that I'm proposing /jp/ should love OP.

>>7005500

Agreed... It's like throwing a dildo down a hallway.

>>>/soc/

If I were to have an imouto I would want to be able to hang out with them, but you probably live nowhere near me so I'll pass.

It's not hot if the imouto isn't blood related and over 10 years old.

>>7005512
This reminds me of an article I read somewhere that says otaku would make good boyfriends, it was rather amusing to read.

>>7005472

Delete isn't the word I was thinking...........

>>7005525
Oh but that's a gross misrepresentation, I don't like the sound of that at all. That might include /a/ and /m/, they're not cute. Not cute at all. /jp/ is mostly full of better people than that, excluding the normals.

>113 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

Anyway, im still here reading your comments. if anymore want to chat or see if im real, just find my AIIM and gmail in the thread.

>>7005552
That's just like your opinion, man.

Reported. Every last one of you.

>>7005553

night time /jp/ is the best /jp/

;_;

Don't you have a little sister or something, it's really hard for us pedophiles to find someone you know.

>>7005560
How observant!

>>7005570

>>7005201

Sorry, my sister has to be able to handle this, and I really don't think you're up for it.

>>7005576

>>7005571
You must be new

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

>>7005512
>>7005525
Can't love someone else if you don't love yourself. Or at least learn to like/tolerate yourself. If then, we would be overbearing and scare most people away. It would only work for girls that want a submissive husband, but that would just be another kind of hell.

>>7005556
What about IRC?

>>7005580

>>7005556

Do you really think we're that stupid?

>>7005589

>>7005582
what the HELL crawled up your ass?

>>7005598
My printer broke a couple of weeks ago. I didn't think much about it but finally I took it in to Geek Squad to have them fix it. They said it would take about a half hour so I left. When I got back the police were there. I'd forgotten that in the print queue were Naruto comics. It printed out a page from Naruto while I was gone and they'd seen it and called the police. So I said screw it and just left the printer there. What do I do now? Do they know it was me? What if the police show up at my house? Everyone would know I was reading Naruto? Oh god, should I destroy my harddrive?

Help me! Oh god, I don't know what to do!

lol

>>7005598
Welcome to 4chan.

>I want a big brother!
But who says we want you as a little sibling?

>>7005582

>Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey.

Yeah, everyone knows femininity travels via token ring.

>>7005598
can't get laid

Disegard that I suck cocks :p xD

>>7005609
I like to cut a holes in my jeans around the inner leg area and I like to do the old "sat on a gum trick" near my waifu that happens to be a Japanese exchange student that looks like a 3D version of Fuuka.

It goes like this, during class I yell out "Aww shit I sat in gum!!" and start pulling the skin of my sack out the hole. They've never noticed that it's actually my sack, hahaha.

She always tells me to be more careful and to look where I sit but she has no idea, poor 3D Fuuka.

>>7005584
I disagree, but I respect your opinion and I think I might have thought the same before, I certainly remember the idea, but I think I was just using it as an excuse for a relationship that failed almost before it got off the ground.

>>7005596

>>7005606
no, that's masculinity
femininity travels over 802.11

>>7005598
that's a copypasta.

I have a harness system with ceiling-bolted pulleys and a quick-release cable (got some inspiration from Mythbusters lol).

It sounds like a big production, but trust me it is not complicated. Just step into the harness, snap two buckles, sit on the toilet as normal, then give a few pulls to hoist yourself comfortably 4-6" from the toilet. You're in a normal sitting position, just kind of "levitating" above the bowl.

Anyway you just kind of push and as soon as it starts to poke out, you pull the quick release and you drop right onto the toilet seat, but gravity causes your poop to keep going. The extra momentum basically "pulls" your poops right out of you with kind of a vacuum sensation (you feel really empty and clean afterwards). The difference is like brushing your teeth at home vs. getting a dental cleaning.

This is how you shit like an alpha male. One warning though, 4-6" is the max I would try. I was being retarded and showing off for a Youtube demo, and I tried simulating from 1-2 feet off the bowl. I busted my ass so hard that I passed out and woke up on my cold tile floor all stiff and bruised.

>>7005623
That one was pretty stupid. Next.

>>7005614
That's not me by the way... Stop using the name...

>>7005609
HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

>>7005619

>>7005556
Try posting in this board. not trolling, they'll be all over you

http://tohno-chan.com/so/

>>7005578
You could always train her.

>>7005629
You seem frustrated.

>>7005630

So there I was in Little Ceasars getting some crazy bread and cheese sauce, when I look over at my girlfriend who's sitting down, apparently unphased by how much her shirt is hanging down and how much her titties are showing.

"Jesus christ, cover your tits up."
"I can do what I want."

Upon hearing this, the giant negra in line next to me turns to face me, makes eye contact, turns to look my girlfriend in the face, lowers her gaze to her tits, looks back at her face, looks towards me, I smile and nod, and he goes back to ordering.

She got offended I didn't do anything but hey, fuck that. I'll share.

>>7005636
I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to play Final Fantasy 4 about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the game, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last fight.
Then I played the game again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Rydia every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Rydia.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Rydia. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Rydia everywhere.
I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Rydia dolls.. Rydia is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Rydia. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Rydia. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So, this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Rydia break free from behind her glass prison.
Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

>>7005637

ahhhhh

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

>>7005641

>>7005602
>>7005616

>>7005631
>Tohno
When are they going to remove all those boards?
There's like 5 posts a day, it doesn't need so many sections.

We can have lots of fun okay? You, me, shower? :D???????????????????????????????????????? We can make sweet sweet fun togetherrrr i like touhou too, reading ecchi for the story, and cuddling with sisters.

>>7005638

>>7005644
My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

>>7005645

>>7005648
>Kuma

3d pig disgusting