/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I would wish for infinite wishes, duh.

You probably are lol. You're a lazy retard if you want to learn Japanese yet can't figure out Japanese on your own. 1 wish and you use it on doing something you could do yourself anyway?

Christ this is weeabooism on another level.

inb4QB

>>6935127
nvm i thought i was on /a/

>>6935117
Why would you not just wish all the Japanese wrote and spoke your native language instead?

>>6935124
Well after nearly 3 years I can hardly even read Yotsuba, and I'm not even lazy with my studies, I just can't retain information easily.

I would use my wish to kill OP.

>>6935155
That's not nice /jp/ Quality Control in his little autistic mind he probably thinks this is a great thread.

I'd wish to go to Gensokyo.

>>6935127
Why the fuck would he grant the wish of someone that doesn't have breasts for him to grope during the wish making process?

I'd use my wish to get back the foreskin that was stolen from me at a young age.

>>6935149

>After 3 years I can't read Yotsuba

I almost want to laugh but then I sort of don't. That's embarrassing.

You will never reach a near native level if Japanese comprehension, not even if your dreams.

>>6935172
Okay, I am over exaggerating a bit. I can read Yotsuba, but still have trouble understanding some lines every few pages, but anything above Yotsuba's level is something I can't do.

Not that it makes me much less pitiable, it's still disheartening seeing myself make almost no progress after focusing so much of my time every day on Japanese.

Why would you wish that when you could just make japanese become english?

>>6935186

There are times when your progress will plateau. Just keep plugging away and you should get past it eventually.

>>6935188
Because this way I'd have progress to show my mother so she doesn't think that all my leeching was in vain.

>>6935117
WHAT THE FUCK? I'd wish for eternal youth, what the fuck retard would wish for fluency in a language? I have all the time in eternity to learn that shit.

>>6935173
You can get close though, If you really want too.
After 2~1/2 years and studying there for a summer (Japanese summers can go fuck themselves) I am confident that, as long as people are not deliberately using strange words or talking unordinarily fast I can talk about anything I'd like. Reading (long works)is still slow as fuck though, fucking kanji. Thank you based AGTH Atlas.

Sadly every thinks it is funny to try and talk about Space exploration, nuclear fission, or my favorite, philosophy, because they know it is impossible for some one past their 20s to learn extremely concentrated random shit like that.
Oh well, not like I care.

Also garbage thread.

>>6935146
>>6935188

Germanic languages are substantially less kawaii by default.

Why do you guys want to learn Japanese? Is it so you can read/watch untranslated stuff, or because you want to go to Japan one day?

>>6935200
Reading this, I think I would use my wish to get my mother back.

>>6935219
Reading and watching stuff. Living in Japan would only have the benefit of less shipping prices and easier access to my hobby collecting, but it'd balance out with the fact that everything in Japan is expensive as fuck.

And if the time ever comes when my parents kick me out the house, I'd at least have the language to fall back on as something I might use to seek a job somewhere as a translator. Capcom was recently looking for one, if I knew Japanese well enough I might have actually applied.

>>6935164
This or eternal youth. That is if I can't have infinite wishes like the Fairly Odd Parents.

I'd wish for ten million wishes. If not that, then I'd wish for 100 trillion dollars. I'd give five trillion to my country so they could stop being so shitty, then use more of it to learn Japanese if I were so inclined. Then I'd donate a billion dollars to some anime studio to make the best anime ever, mostly likely involving a lot of zombies, tits, and lesbians.

I would wish to be the little girl.

Id wish to be a powerful loli and go to gensokyo


Everyone in this thread with a different wish is a heretic

Psssh, typical humans. You're all thinking too small.

Psssh, typical humans. You're all thinking WAY too small.

>>6935166
Haha, is that guy still running around? He's a real hoot.

>>6935324
>>6935317
Can I be a wizard?

>>6935317
I don't want much in life. I'm pretty content as I am, I'd just love a small tweak to make everything perfect.

3 wish standard, in the order I'd wish them:

1. Native level fluency in Japanese
2. Eternally young little girl
3. Enough money to just stuff into the bank and live the rest of my life off interest. That. or just have a monthly supply of funds added to my bank account or something that was enough to support me for that month. I don't need much as far as material goods go, I'd just like enough to survive off of and get one or two figures per month. But then I guess I'd need a bigger room for when I run out of space to put them. Oh well, not really necessary, I'd be able to work it out.

I'd like to be completely fluent in German, French, Japanese, Chinese, Italian, and maybe Russian

>>6935117
I wouldn't use it that way, no. I'd use it to replicate wishes as needed. Then I can wish for whatever, whenever, and have it work.

I'd do one better and wish to be fluent in all languages

I wish /jp/ was good.

Wish to go to Gensokyo so I can be Tenshi's servant, but only if she wants me to be her servant.

Either that, or OP dying a horrible death for making such a thread.

>>6935356
>I'd use it to replicate wishes as needed.
Human greed is unfathomable.

Guys, stop cheating. Everyone knows that the very first rule of wish granting is that you can't wish for more wishes. You're given a limit for a reason. Maybe it's possible the wish granting being CAN give you as many wishes as they want, but are purposely limiting you to 1 because of the possible disasters that can come from giving a human way too much power.

>>6935343
Yeah, and that means you're boring.

>>6935337
You're a lame copycat. But whatever, maybe I'll humor you if you tell me what a wizard is.

>>6935373
I never said I wasn't. Shouldn't you be off sucking Bern's tail or something?

>>6935117
>If you had one wish, would you use it to learn Japanese as fluently as a native speaker? I'm not the only one that'd use my wish on this, am I?
You're wish is small time.
I'd wish to become a polyglot, understanding and speaking all languages as a native speaker.

It's basically your wish, but better.

>>6935366
Yes it is. Discarding the previous, I would (like most of /jp/, i imagine) be the eternal loli. Of course, I must have nature-based powers. So specifically I'd end up as an ice fairy. In Gensokyo, obviously.

>>6935384
I'd probably wish for that too.

I mean really, you would be set for life in terms of a job. Unlimited Translation Works. Scientists will want to study you, countries will want to suck your cock, governments will consider you a national treasure.

Best of all? most of what you do as a translator doesn't even require going outside.

Living the life.

>>6935366
>Human greed is unfathomable.
This is because human desire is unfathomable.

My wish would be to have sexual relations with Lambda Delta for eternity

>>6935394
It would also automatically make you one of the worlds best computer programmers, musical composers, and possibly much, much more.

I'd wish for a save/load feature for real life... and a load screen upon death.

>>6935401
But music is a universal language. I mean, the sheets and all. (I'm not sure but it's probably the same with programming)

>>6935373
A Wizard is one who has become so bored of the mundane world and it's offerings that his desire for something greater, something truly interesting, surpasses all attachments and reason.

He is someone who cannot be understood, the eternal dreamer and gambler.

>>6935403
That's exactly why someone who speaks all languages would make an incredible composer.
A person with this ability would have total knowledge over anything that could be broadly defined as a language...and this person would be uniquely skilled at broadly defining things.

What language do you think in if you know all of those languages so well? Just thinking about managing all those different languages makes my head hurt.

...hmm. So you're not asking for any kind of power or anything, just a way of thinking?

Why do you want that? For someone who's still just a human, isn't that just a mental disorder?

>i wish the Human population of the entire planet all spoke and wrote English perfectly.

This actually accomplishes much much more.

>>6935470
My prose is wasted on one such as you, little girl.

>>6935123
What he said, first try to exploit the system with wishes like I wish I had more geneies or whatever. If that fails, a matter converter. So I can convert the same ammount of mass into a different substance, like ton of water into ton of platinum/osmium/paladium etc..., and be the richest person on this planet.

>>6935521
Where are you?

>>6935504
Hehehe, you're a hoot, even if you didn't pan out quite like I wanted. Okay, I think I'll grant your wish.

I wish to be Miku. That comes with Japanese fluency but it's only a side perk. I get to be a girl, I automatically have fans, and I might even learn English some day. Truly the strongest wish.

I'd wish to eternally be the little japanese girl.

>>6935504
...hehehe. You're sure a hoot, even if you didn't pan out quite like I wanted. Okay, I think I'll grant your wish.

Or you could wish for near infinite money and use that on hiring translators to translate whatever you wanted.

>>6935552
> Wish for infinite money
> screw over the world's economy
> ???
> Your money is worthless

She didn't even acknowledge my wish to have sex with her ;_;

I just want immortality, something along the line of Hourai elixir would be nice. Death scares me...

>>6935552
That's not only be useless in the long run because of how you fuck up the economy, but you'd still have to wait for shit to be translated anyway. Hiring a crack team of speed translators doesn't mean you'll get a next day translation patch. Unless you want a shit translation. Not to mention you'd have to actually find someone to take your offer.

>>6935508
You mean something like an alchemist?

>>6935557
Its only worthless if you tell everyone you have infinite money.

You could just hide all of it somewhere.

>>6935564
>Hide an infinite amount of money somewhere

>>6935563
Something like that yes.

Converting materials is the best way to hide and make a fortune. Just make some gold or platinum bars, or be ambitious and become the world leading Plutonium exporter.

i'd wish for warp reality powers.

If you were going to wish for the ability to understand Japanese, why not go a step above that and just wish for understanding of all languages or superintelligence with which to learn all languages and a bunch of other stuff?

no, because I don't actually like japan like you fucking weeaboos, I just like their products.

I would only wish for the ability to read touhou doujins in japanese as if it was my native language.

>>6935692
>no, because I don't actually like japan like you fucking weeaboos, I just like their products.

This never stops being funny.

>>6935389
Why does /jp/ want to be a little girl?
Do you mean you only want the physical body of a loli, and even then, why?

eternal youth (as a little girl/boy/trap?)
to be in some 2d series
to be with your waifu
maxed money
time / reality manipulation powers
etc a million better wishes
Why wish to be native when you only want to read manga and go to 2chan anyway. You can do that in a couple years of work.

>>6935389
Because their lives sucked as a little boy and they think being a girl will solve that problem.
Or they want to wear frilly things without feeling guilty or looking like a bear in a ballerina suit.
Or they want to be violated by dicks in every hole.
who knows.

Why would you use one wish on that?

The fuck is wrong with you?

Even without wishing for more wishes, you could wish for:

A perfect understanding of all languages

A super-high IQ so you can learn languages very easily

A fucking mountain of money, so you can pay people to translate stuff for you


I mean, are you a dumbass?

I'd wish for something I couldn't possibly do on my own. I don't know, like become IMMORTAL, know EVERYTHING, or FUCKING FLY.
How does knowing some language that's bound to die out compare to those?

>>6935720
>know EVERYTHING
After a bit of thought this is definitely what I'd pick.

"Everything" implies that you not only know all the encyclopedic knowledge that will ever exist, but that you know for certain what is happening everywhere on the entire planet and in the whole universe. You know what others are thinking, you could "see" any object through any other object, you would instantly determine the most efficient path to success in life. You could take over the world because you already know the path to that alternate future. Nobody could kill you. You'd see it coming right when the idea popped in their head. Instead of choosing to fly or choosing to be immortal you could make inventions to do that because you already know how. You know everything.

You'd be god.

>>6935739
Yeah omniscience is that broken.. But then unless you have the capacity of a God, you are fucked.

>>6935739

Knowing everything would be fucking boring. You could do something, but you would know exactly what happens down to the smallest detail. Whatever you do you will know what happens all the way to the end. Why even bother doing anything when you know how every possibility will turn out?

>>6935739
but everything would be boring because you would know exactly what would happen

After thinking about this in the past, the conclusion I came to for "best wish" was something along the lines of "the ability to create and enter a parallel world by specifying a purpose and short description, where the aspects of the world that I don't specify are matched as closely as possible with the purpose." Basically, the ability to have completely lucid indefinite length lucid dreams without aging in the real world. Wording it that way, its basically wishing you were insane, so if there were power restrictions on your wish, you might be able to get around them anyway. If necessary, you can make a slightly less powerful version of that wish to try to gain access to another world in which you have the ability to make the full wish.

>>6935117

You can always ask for all the knowledge of the world, so you can know everything about the world, including it's languages.

>>6935761
Thats a bit tricky if you think a little about it
Because together with all the "good" knowledge you would acquire, you would also inherit all the "bad" knowledge in the world, like all the bad things that people around the world have done
Which would probably make you kill yourself from not standing it

>>6935759
>>6935750
Well, you do have a 'spectator mode' that allows you to watch anything that's happening. That could be fun.
Also, you'd be able to troll people incredibly hard in a mind boggling number of ways. I think screwing with people would provide enough entertainment for eternity. If I got bored I'd just kill myself, thereby gaining the one piece of knowledge I was lacking: how does it feel to die?

>>6935777
I think it doesn't work that way.

Actually, you know about the athom bomb, and all the wars in the world, and all the murdering they commited and commit during them, but you still don't want to kill yourself.

You don't acquire personal experiences. You acquire knowledge.

Shouldn't the wish be used for something seemingly un-achievable.
LEarning Japanese is far from impossible.
Study it carefully and you should grasp things after 5 years ago or so even if it doesn't go well, and otherwise you might be able to progress faster.

Alternitavely, you could learn other languages as well in the meantime to become better at learning languages in general before taking on Japanese. Though taking on Kanji step by step during the years might be adviced.

>>6935793
Well... Just in case i would ask something a little more safer...

why would i? i can grant that wish myself easily, i'd rather ask for things like money or becoming a cute little girl.

>>6935798
Learning japanese takes effort, and people here don't like putting effort into something.

>>6935864
Wish for eagerness, then.

I wish to conquer Rome !

>wishing to speak Japanese because you like fucking visual novels

you do realise how much real Japanese people consider you a complete embarrassment to their country and - by extension - humanity, right?

>>6936030
Eroge/manga/anime are good for enlarging one's vocabulary. I imagine that most people who play eroge aren't going to speak Japanese anyway, so what does it matter.

>>6936030
that's just because japan hates foreigners
come to visit? sure
friends? yeah, that might be cool too for the younger crowd
live there? GAIJIN GET OUT

I'd wish for /jp/ to have their wishes granted

I'd wish for a self-enhancing friendly AI to be my servant.

That should cover most of the wishes here.

I'd wish to be five immortal little girls, who'd look like sisters but have different hair colors and personalities. The red-haired one would be tsundere, blue-haired one would be kuudere with glasses and large breasts, blonde one would be energetic and childish, black-haired would be a sadist loli (obviously with black thighhighs and foot fetish appeal) and pink-haired one would be an airheaded little girl with occasional genius moments. My consciousness would be seperated between them, and whenever I find thinking as five seperate people too confusing, we'd be able to combine into one gentle, elegant onee-sama type with all talents of the five.

I'd be an one-man Power Rangers parody and harem anime cast by myself, though obviously I'd be an elegant lesbian instead of falling in love with some spineless high school student.

You use your wish to learn ONE language.

I use it to learn ALL languages, and live wealthy as the world's greatest interpreter.

>>6936141
>interpreter
>wealthy
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>6936148

Really.

Let's say a government's Special Service wants things translated. Rather than employ an insane amount of people to translate, they have me soak up a large portion of all their workload. Furthermore, I can work on one case that uses ten or twelve languages and not have to have anything else explained, as I was the one who translated everything.

That sounds like something some organisations would pay a fair bit for to me.

If you wish for anything other than to be omnipotent, then you are an idiot. At least wish to be fluent in all languages instead of one language.

>>6936165
Right. So basically you're saying that you're going to be worked like a dog and do the work of several people all by yourself.

Knowing more than one language doesn't make translation go that much quicker.

>>6936200

This guy is right, though you won't have problem of no-work. Also you would be "invited" to shady deals, all the time. Should be good pay though.

>If you had one wish, would you use it to learn Japanese as fluently as a native speaker?

No, I want the ability to heal at will via non-invasive means, like for example, touching their hand and will the healing. The ability also can't stop aging and dying of old age so to no stopping the course of human cycle.

I wish I were a bird.

>>6936846
Would you cook spaghetti?

>If you had one wish, would you use it to learn Japanese as fluently as a native speaker? I'm not the only one that'd use my wish on this, am I?
It really depends on the wish system. There are wishes that could grant you that and so much more. For instance "I wish for all knowledge humankind posseses", or "I wish to be fluent in all languages" or "I wish for all knowledge that will ever be learned"

I used to wonder if the wish-granter would fuck with you if you asked to become a god. For instance, they'd make you nonexistent, and make millions of people worship you.

So /jp/, what's your wish?

>>6936899

I wish /jp/ was good.

>>6936917
To grant that wish you have to leave.

>>6936917
And then Anonymous was left in a board with no one but his own clones and then turning insane from it.

>>6936030
Do you think I give a shit what the Japanese care about me? I'll never meet them anyway, and they'll never meet me nor know I made a wish, so who cares.

The only way the "box" can grant the wish is if the person making the wish truly believes that wish is possible. Any doubts about whether the wish could actually happen in real life or whether wishes are real will have a negative impact on the wish.

Thus, wishing for something difficult but possible would be the smartest wish to make for someone that has common sense.

Or maybe I'm just reading too many light novels.

I'm Japanese, so I don't need to learn Japanese.
I wish I were a bird.

>>6936899
I wish that my wish will not be granted.

>>6938739
Why a bird? Why not a crocodile?

Learning japanese is doable. not perfectly, but still.


Anyone that doesn't wish for save states hasn't thought it through the way I did and I respect that

>>6938762
Ｗｈａｔ　ｇｏｏｄ　ａｒｅ　ｓａｖｅ　ｓｔａｔｅｓ　ｗｉｔｈｏｕｔ　
ａ　ｌｏａｄ　ｆｕｎｃｔｉｏｎ？

eternal life, so I'd have enough time to leatn everything I've always wanted to

>>6938739
go home norio

Id use it to fuck your mom bareback

>>6938725

These rules make Wishing alot more fun of a mental exercise.

With no rules except "no more wishes", there is no reason not to pick omnipotence.

Under these rules, I'd like to be happy about everything in my life, while being allowed to share that happiness with others.

>I'd wish to become a polyglot, understanding and speaking all languages as a native speaker.

I'd wish to be a babelfish in the ear of a hot girl.

I'd wish to be Good Smile Company's CEO

I'd wish to have ambitions and goals.