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/jp/ - Otaku Culture


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6783717 No.6783717 [Reply] [Original]

Gomenasai /jp/, my name is Ken-Sama.

I'm a 36 year old American Otaku. I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, God Hand)

I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer for Square Enix!

I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in Japan!

>> No.6783723
File: 74 KB, 446x500, american ninja.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6783723

>>6783717
Sayonara...Ken-kun.

>> No.6783724

Shouldn't you be 37 by now Ken-sama?

>> No.6783725

Stopped being funny months ago.

hidden.

>> No.6783728

... this still makes me laugh after all these years... one of the best copypasta ever...

with that said.
hidden.

>> No.6783780

>>6783717
i just noticed the subtle updates, like "on my tablet"

>>6783725
>>6783728
whatever you guys did it didn't work, because I still see this thread

maybe you guys canceled each other out

>> No.6783787

You will never be as disciplined as Ken-sama.

>> No.6783801
File: 6 KB, 251x201, Myself.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6783801

Howdy Ken-Sama, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting my craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks)

I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch emblem on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both Texas and the Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil!

I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

>> No.6783816
File: 84 KB, 300x428, 165456465.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6783816

>>6783801
Welcome to America!

>> No.6783820

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

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