/jp/ - Otaku Culture

No chance. Humans with names are rather powerful in Gensokyo, and I have a name. I also have a penis, a commodity that could earn me much popularity in Gensokyo.

There's no way I wouldn't be granted extraordinary powers upon entry. That's how these things work.

>>6757962
Penis is quite the desirable commodity

I would find either the Hakurei Shrine, the Moriya shrine, or Keine's village. Any of those places would offer me some protection from the hungry youkai. From that point, I would either:

A. Find somebody to train under, gain mystical powers, become a badass.

or

B. Go work at Kourindou or some shit like that. I'm pretty handy with antiques and salesmanship, so I think I could impress him.

QUALITY THREAD

>>6757974
Very nice, A nice Rumia picture of her fangs. Thats picture #2 in my new fangs folder. Thats one cirno and one Rumia, Now i need a Flandre and Remilia.

Obtain immortality. Become a living text book.

>>6757977
You'd get escorted to the Hakurei shrine, booted out, and then the Japanese would deport you.

Actually, I posses a large amount of skills that would be in high demand in an agrarian, preindustrial society.
But I'd still try to get a job as a butler in the SDM first.

Listen to Keine's lectures.
Try to befriend Mokou.
Get tricked by the fairies.
Visit the shrines.
Possibly dedicate myself to the Moriya or Myouren.

>>6757962
But you're anonymous!
>>6757982
Here you go.

>>6757962

Name and title only takes you so far. Being Satan, Prince of Darkness undoubtedly takes you a lot further than being Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light.

>>6757986
I bet quite a lot of people in /jp/ would actually be pretty well off. I mean, most of us know how to make mustard gas.

Question: Does anybody here has the name of this Rumia doujin where she is adopted by a couple of old folk?

>>6757997
Remilia has such large man hands...

>>6757998

So would it be best to make up a silly name and title just in case of entry to Gensokyo?

>>6757979

QUALITY POST

>>6757997
A for detail, but F for accuracy, Those canine are shorter than my own. Heres my Cirno taken from the Goro thread last night.

>>6758010
Yes. Something like "Alister Montague, The Rapist"

You would have over 10 different spell cards revolving around hit and run rape.

>>6757983
>Obtain immortality and experience death countless times and suffer excruciating pain while having my entrails constantly devoured by hungry youkai for all eternity.

for my part I would just try to get to the SDM, and it doesn't matter if I get attacked on my way, as long as I can steal a kiss or a hug from a cute youkai before being murdered.

everything would be worth.

There are hundreds ways to become youkai. I'll become a cute girl one way or another and live by myself.

>>6758010

Tunat Muram Cuu Vauaux is however not a valid choice.

Don't kid yourself /jp/, you wouldn't last 5 minutes in Gensokyo.

>>6758038
Who are you fooling? I'm posting from Kaguya-hime's house.

I would go to Hakurei Shrine in hopes of finding a way to become Yukari's pet.

If not, being her meal is fine too.

>>6758028

That's such a bland title. If you're going to have one, it has to have style. The girls have more fascinating titles, such as the Shrine Maiden of Paradise, Perfect and Elegant Maid, hell even Ordinary Magician is better than that.

>>6757953
but I want to be one of touhous (you know one of youkai/fairy/god girls, and that includes me being girl with silly hat, but not as part of sick autistic logic that some of /jp/ has or seuxal desire).

>>6758042
I just took this video 3 minutes ago, I don't see you here

>>6758056
How did you get a hold of my video?

Yukari?

I would show everyone the pleasure of being cummed inside.

I wouldn't expect to achieve much. I'd probably just charge people large sums of money for entry.

>>6758050
>That's such a bland title
Well, of course it is, I'm no writer.

>>6758055
and my backup plan in case of waking up in forest and meeting minor youkai (stronger ones will be easier to deal) before I will get to some safe location includes fooling them by telling them that Im something (I will make up something that they wont understand) from outside world and playing it to get some time.

>>6758055
Except you can't.

Well, I guess you can, if surgery counts. Use your wits, man. Even if you managed to gain access to a magically-sealed region of space on your own, there's no reason you'd suddenly become a little 2D girl. That's not how life works.

>>6758086
portaling to gensokyo includes dying here right? So my body wont "work" any more and that would be reason.

>>6758073

But Anon, you're not even successful with real women. Why would you be successful with fictional women?

>>6758105
>portaling to gensokyo includes dying here right?

It strikes me that you may not understand what a "portal" might be. Gensokyo remains connected to ordinary spacetime. Crossing the border does not require one's soul to be separated from one's body, it's a perfectly ordinary act of moving from one place to another. You just need to circumvent the barrier.

Dying would, in the best of all circumstances, land you in Gensokyo, while dead, on your way to an East Asian afterlife.

On an additional note, it might help if your title has actually been bestowed somehow and not made up on the spot.

>>6758112
Because real women are not this cute or legal.

1.) Get to Scarlet Devil Mansion
2.) Apply for job
3.) Get hired as either toilet scrubber or Flandre's playmate #4876329
4.) ?????
5.) BREAK EVEN or get killed so quickly I never even feel it.

The way I see it, even though I couldn't be a maid, I'm still bound to be at least more useful than the typical fairies they have working there. It might not be a glamorous life, and it would suck not being allowed naps, breaks, or paid vacations, but it's still probably the best life I could hope to get in Gensokyo.

No need to worry about getting randomly attacked by wild beasts. No being cold or going hungry.
Plus, fairy maids. Fairy maids EVERYWHERE.

>>6758126

I got a title once when I used to play a game with some other guys online years ago, although I doubt it could be applicable to the world of Gensokyo in any useful way.

>>6758131
I know man. Its odd how living a life of servitude too loli vampires is so much nicer than living in the free world. Being Flandre's feet's personal assistant is my life's long dream.

>>6758124
But it seems as only way to become touhou, and I know portal doesnt mean death in most cases. Its just my hope for "rebirth" as touhou.

>>6758131
If you apply to the SDM and are a man, you get a big chunk of nature jammed into you and turn into a fairy. Think of it as PCB's plot, except instead of Saigyou Ayakashi, you are the one getting a faceful of spring, or whatever other immaterial concept they had handy at the moment. Don't apply during bad weather lest you could get the entire idea of blizzards shoved up your ass. Feels cold, man.

Other than that, enjoy your frilly dress and hat. I know I did.

You fagboats are all forgetting how Gensokyo works... on FAITH. If you can't exploit the shit out of that to give yourself MAD POWERS, then you fail at life.

>>6758196
What if I have severe self-confidence issues?

>>6758158
It's not that odd if you consider the alternative is trying to scrape out a living in a foreign land full of super-human beings and man-eating monsters, almost all of whom are insane, assholes, or both.

Compared to trying to survive in the mystical Japanese equivalent of the Australian Outback, a life of servitude under a vampire loli and her ticking time-bomb of a sister is Heaven. Either you'll be set for life, or you'll get a fast and relatively painless death for your trouble.

>>6758179
I am okay with this.

>>6758201
Believe in your self-confidence issues to the extent that you manifest as a youkai.

Why does Noko in email no longer work?

>>6758209

That's fucking weird. Same thing happened over on touhou-project, as well. Must be a firefox update, then, not server-side.

>>6758179
I see nothing but WIN and more WIN. Did you say Blizzards and Fairies?

>>6757953
At least there are no normalfags in Gensokyo

>>6758196
If it were possible to blindly believe one's way through Gensokyo, it'd be a much more unbalanced place than it is. There's a reason the Human Village is the Human Village and not the Demigod Village.

>>6758206
When I said free world i was referring to the United States. The only draw I have to Gensokyo is serving loli vampires. The rest of Gensokyo looks painful and primal.

>>6758179

>the entire idea of blizzards

Ever pleasured yourself with an ice cube?

>>6758233
Gensokyo is made up entirely of normalfags. The Human Village is largely composed of farmers and workmen.

>>6758250
Yeah but none of them have lines, or faces for that matter.

>>6758261
You should know that's no impediment to a healthy sex life.

I would immediately trek off to find the underground. Even if I have to get beat up by multiple Oni, or eaten by a stray above-ground youkai while trying to find the entrance, I will do everything to become Koishi's pet. Satori having two is not fair.

Failing that, if I just get lost, Yukari might be able to help me out.

>>6757974
Look at the perfect gap between those fangs! I would love a blow job from Rumia. This is the first thing im doing when I make my Gensokyo portal.

I would become a temporary servant in SDM and read the books in the library whenever I had the time to.

Do you think is it possible to become touhou after death or no? It would be unfair for people who died just for that reason, especially when "dying with single purpose in mind" should turn you into youkai.

>>6758280
You have to befriend Patchy before you get library permission. Why dont newfags ever know anything about etiquette. Temps dont even get to meet Patchy anyways. You are fodder for when Marissa shows up.

>>6758293
I'm sorry ;__;

>>6758297

>>6758297
Well the good news is, if you live through an encounter with Marissa you are eligible for full time employment. If you manage to prevent Marissas thievery and are not a vegetable or corpse then you pretty much automatically becomes Patchys friend. Just dont fuck it up, he Scarlets like fresh meat.

>>6758290
No, there is nothing after death.

>>6758290
Dying with a single purpose in mind ought to make you a restless ghost in the Western tradition. I suppose in that state you could make your way to Japan and try to get in, but that doesn't give you little-girl status.

And I'm fairly sure once you get there your purpose is complete and you'd pass on anyways.

>>6758340
>>>/sci/
They are atheists like you

Oh, and something tells me that killing yourself in order to become a restless spirit so you can go ogle teenage girls kind of doesn't count as enough of a reason to bind you here.

>>6758341
What if your purpose is to become a little girl. You could then wander endlessly until Judgment Day. Not sure what the point would be though.

I'd go to the village and offer to help Keine teach.

>>6758351
>>6758348
>>6758341
>>6758340
You are making my depression even worse ;___;

>>6758290
Dying with regrets or unfulfilled desire is not enough. Your regrets would need to be strong enough to anchor you to the world and skip judgement by the Yama. If your desire is not strong enough, then expect to be judged accordingly by the Yama. There is a very good reason the youkai are scared of the power of Eiki-sama.

>>6758351
It'd have to be one heck of a desire to be a little girl. I really don't think it'd work.

>>6758359
Why? We're freeing you!

>>6758364
freeing from what ? only hope ?
but your post was good hint... I should just ignore trolls and try to get into gensokyo anyway ;___;

>>6758224
>>6758247
It's worse than it sounds. Someone else I know got the idea of lily flowers punched into him. I think he (now she, naturally) browsed /jp/ too, but she's assigned to the library so I didn't have the chance to ask. What I do know is that she excretes lily bulbs instead of feces, made extra painful by the fact she's about a third the size of a human now. She does permanently smell like lilies though, so I guess that's a bonus.

You will create a portal to Gensokyo, but you will be forced to play virtual reality Highly Responsive to Prayers as a test.

>>6758385
Im a big fan of egg porn, the idea of shittin lilly bulbs is just more WIN.

>>6758385
I vote to have this Anonymous elected as God.

>>6758375
any final words?

>>6758462

"Now comes the mystery" would probably do the trick.

>>6757953
despite fapping it to catgirls and meido-sans everyday, I'm a Christian, so I'd be shooting holy beams or something upon entry into gensyoko.

>>6758482
No, you are fucked. 4chan embodies everything that is evil in this world. You are going straight to hell.

>>6758504
i wanna go first!

>>6758476
Seems so...
How long does bleach portal work? I inhale it for 15 minutes already and nothing happens ;_______;

I think having a silly hat would be just as if not more important than having a silly name.

>>6758548
I hate that picture with bleach portal... I inhale it for at least half hour and nothing happens... I wish person who thought it could drink this mixture.

Go to Hakugyokurou and help with the gardening and drink tea with best touhous

I've been seeing this thread around on the first page ever since it was created and only now just noticed that Mokou isn't wearing a shirt.

>>6758611
and Im going to try it again today...
>>6758629
At least its one of few places that if you act well you might be safe for some time.

>>6758629

What is this? Youmu the gardener... gardening?

bumping for more gensokyo discussion

It wouldn't be too hard to survive, since we're obviously aware of the spell card system. Just prepare a few (copy some stage 6 boss spell cards) and you'll decimate the weak youkai.

"That there are no things superior to beauty and thought."

>>6759017
Just being aware doesnt mean you can make one. If we knew how to make them than Anonymous would be lords of the realm.

>>6759046
We would have /jp/ meet ups were we did battle and laid waste to cities and made the Grail War look like a school fight. And then, we would realize that reality is far more awesome than Gensokyo and that we are proud to have penises.

I have a name, I am a man, I know the spellcard system and I know all the character backgrounds and other pieces of info.

So, I obviously take advantage of those things in addition to my knowledge of the outside world to make myself into a halfway powerful figure in Gensokyo.

That or prepare French Toast for Remilia every morning.

I went for Touhou OpenWorld last year. Pretty nice place. With the exception of the youkai, it's like any other big city.

>>6759068
>I have a name, I am a man

>>6758611
I did try it and... nothing happens, smell is terrible (you feel like it was blocking breathing and makes you "dry" inside) and you feel need to cough all time... I did try it for around 2 minutes, but nothing happens... Now eyes feel like I was playing for few days, and I need to cough all time and dry mouth but nothing really happened ;___; Is there any better version of bleach portal?

>>6759225
if you are going to bump, at least add something to the thread so others can also bump.

>>6759230
I did bump instead of him ...

>>6759258
yes but im not in on the portal creation, Science and Gensokyo dont mix.

>>6759266
I did put a lot of feelings into it ;____; I did thought and repeat all time "gensokyo gensokyo" in my my mind waiting until I will see white dots and wake up on green grass in gensokyo ;_;

At the very least, In Gensokyo people don't judge you based on whether you are "economically viable" and bullshit like that. If you aren't retarded and can handle tools, you got a job. Fuck Adam Smith.

However, being a IT guy/Mechanic, I'm not sure if my special knowledge would be much use. Maybe I could show the blacksmith how to make bicycles, then give one to Suwako since she loves anything made out of steel. Then one to Chen, because you know, honkers got to honk.

>>6759287
with silly hat and dress.. After I notice that Im in gensokyo I will go and meet some one who could help me in beginning of my life there (learning how to fly, how to check what kind of youkai Im, how to get my own house and clothes and such).

>this thread

I would masturbate onto shrubs, for the fact I am even in gensokyo would give me a massive erection.

>>6759294

Create stainless steel weapons, overthrow Kanako.

>>6759294
as long as you could produce electric energy you could just take items/machines/computers from Rinnosuke shop

Go to Nitori.
Exchange knowledge about technology for amnesty with the yokai mountain.
Become a valued member of the mountain for all I've done.
Roll up on waifu via kappa powered palanquin.

>>6759309
Basically this, Except for the getting killed by monsters/youkai, gensokyo is basically a perfect utopia.

dat sunflower field

>>6759309
Shrubs in Gensokyo eat people. That's why Yukari sealed them off with Gensokyo.

>>6759368
Shrubs dont eat people, youkai eat people, the youka in the shrubs that guy is fapping on smell his semen and they are hungry.

>>6759309

So now Yuuka is smearing pollen in the wounds she just gave you and going "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, MOTHERFUCKER?"

What's next?

>>6759379
Fertilizer end.

Directly to Moriya Shrine or bust. Once established, go find Rumia (Still not too sure what to do about her eating me.).

>>6759386
Simple, bring your friends...

>>6759386

>many youkai eat humans
>this Youkai Mountain place seems legit

>>6759358
Producing electricity is easy. regulating it is a bitch. Remember, most devices run off 60 hertz AC at 120 volts. I can make electricity, but can I generate it to those specs? Not with my knowledge or Gensokyos tools. Maybe if I got tremendously lucky, Kourin would have a diesel generator. I could convert it to use bio-diesel and use whatever veggie oil is available.

>>6759310
Stainless Steel requires chrome. I don't think there is chrome in Gensokyo unless Kourin's hiding some in his shop.

>>6759402

The kappa and tengu actually have enough technology to support a bustling trashy journalism industry. That's a trait of a fairly well industrialized people.

It would be fun to hang out with Chirno, she seams like a fun person. Its just a pity she lives in the woods and does not have a house. Also fairys like to play pranks on humans so i doubt she would accept me.

>>6759412
that's true. Of course, I'm working from the Human village. Getting in with Youkai mountain as a tasty human seems risky.

>>6759417

Cirno is the last person (youkai?) I want to see when I go to Gensokyo. If she doesn't outright attack you, she'll irritate you until she sees something shiny and floats off.

>>6759391

Oh pffft, Suwako wouldn't eat you. She's just a lil' froggy.

I don't think Kanako would either. As gods they'd probably expect you to bring an offering or something though. And of course the only thing Sanae would eat is your dick.

As for youkai you encounter along the way to the shrine though, that might not be so good.

I live in New York. If you can survive here you can survive anywhere.

I might even be better off there because I highly doubt they charge rent in Gensokyo.

>>6759420

Actually, the kappa are on fairly good terms with humans and the tengu seem to have capitalist spirits that would give you an "in" if you had something they wanted. After all, they traditionally lived alongside the oni, who would allow themselves to be killed by a weaker human if they lost a bet. Tengu would probably be willing to bargain if you had something to put on the table.

>>6759402
>60 hertz AC at 120 volts
>mfw 50Hz 230V is superior standart

enjoy your housefires

Go cuddle with mai waifu.

>>6759421
Cirno wouldnt attack a weakling. You are mistaking her for that other trouble maker that would attack you, rape you with a hot poker then leave with all your belongings.

>>6759429

Eeh, I don't think rent can get much worse than San Francisco.

Here it's usually like 13-1500/mo to live in a hollowed out piece of shit, and 2-2500/mo to live in a ho-hum (probably still pretty crappy) area, and 25-3500+ for an actually swanky spot. No wonder there's so many homeless here.

>>6759421
Maybe if you flatter her enough and lay off the insults she won't attack. She seems like the type that would be extremely susceptible to flattery.

>>6759449
Im pretty sure if you swore to be her servant she would become your best friend. Of course that would mean preforming embarrassing work probably involving frogs but the job would have its benefits.

>>6759449

I'd be hesitant to try it. I doubt she gets a lot of compliments, she might not leave you alone if you massage her ego.

>>6759432
um, ok? was I suppose to get mad?

>>6759430
Hmm. What you described also perfectly describes the Mafia. I had a friend who is/was 'in'. I guess I could handle that, at my old job I was pretty much surrounded by suspicious people.

>>6759464
You make it sound likes its a bad thing.

>>6759482

It might be fun until you're dying of pneumonia.

>>6759485
I don't think its -that- cold around her. Some fanon exaggerate her ambient coolness. In the winter the outside temp is as/lower anyway and the summers would be pleasantly cool.

>>6759485
I dont think Cirno's body is actually cold or made of ice. Pretty sure thats a Myth made by Cirno fans to ward off newfags. Second, shes does have a degree of control over her powers and I doubt it would be 0 around her all the time. Lastly, I enjoy the cold.

>>6759490
>>6759501

Even if the gradient were only cold enough to just be noticeable, its persistence would fray your nerves eventually. "A chill that won't go away" is usually a prelude to dire illness for humans.

And I wouldn't rely on her to regulate the temperature. She has a pretty short attention span.

>>6759515
So I would die in Gensokyo, next stop, my new life as a Youkai.

Also, its not like Cirno would be riding on your shoulders all the time. Even as a master servant relationship, you are not next to each other for 10 hours out of a common day.

>>6759446

Rent really is too damn high.

>>6759515
Actually she doesnt seam to bother the Shirine Maiden either. So that implies that either her coldness doesnt emit at the range you think it does or a simple charm cancels it. Either way, you got nothing and I got these feet all to my self.

>>6759523
where does this "I die and become a Youkai" stuff come from? Other then Medicine (who died under extraordinary circumstances) most people who die become either evil spirits (Mima), food for Orin (mm fuwa fuwa), or get a free ride on the TITanic.

Now getting back to the bigger problem. Cirno doesnt have a house. This is a much larger issue from a health perspective. How interested would Cirno and perhaps her (sisters?) be in having one? Im pretty sure that with a little time and minor help from the local fairies I could erect one.

>>6759541
>youkai
>evil spirits
Its all the same shit.

>>6759541
If you use the wider definition of the word, Anonymous is already youkai. Besides, becoming one is almost trivial.

>>6759543
Pretty sure the entire plot premise of 12.8 is her house getting trashed.

>>6759422

bumping

>>6760049
A toad with fangs, hot

sweet self insert fan fiction thread bros. Care to get anymore pathetic?

>>6758009
>>6757982
I'm so late, probably not even still here, but the title is 宵闇の少女
Posted http://danbooru.donmai.us/pool/show/2202
And here's another Remilia picture.

Oh right, and I'd probably hang outside of the Scarlet Devil Mansion talking to Meiling

>>6760049
Is that... A frog with fangs?!

>>6761147

Seems like it.
Nothing unusual. Monstrous humanoids tend to get fangs regardless of logic. Even Nazrin usually gets fangs despite incisors being far more proper.

I'd probably make some spellcards before travelling to Gensokyo. Then once I got there I would learn magic from Patchouli and eventually work my way up to Youkai status. And from there the sky's the limit.

>>6759294
>Maybe I could show the blacksmith how to make bicycles, then give one to Suwako since she loves anything made out of steel.
Surely you mean Kanako? Giving Suwako a steel present would seem kind of rubbing it in. "Oh, someone took over your country with steel? Well, here's a steel bike, you can go find a new one".

>>6761077
which picture is it, your link goes to 20.

>>6761376
The Remilia picture is posted here, the link is for the person asking about Rumia getting adopted

i want to live in the scarlet mansion and help patchy in the library. i think we'd get along well since we both enjoy reading.

>>6761390
Well thats a pity, I thought you were posting two.

>>6761411
I posted the one right after as well

>>6761299

I actually imagined the Suwa War to go more like this:
>Suwako: Nyahaha! Prepare more fireworks and square dances to dazzle our enemies!
>Kanako: *waves twig, all of Suwako's soldier's weapons turn to dust*
>Suwako: *shoves helpless mikos in front of her* OH GOD DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THEM, JUST DON'T HURT ME

>>6761430
Second one is a bit fucked up. Remillia looks odd and her teeth appear to be getting knocked out. That kinda takes the beauty out of teeth.

>>6761447
Suwako is not a dirty coward who would betray those who placed their faith in her.

Dat Expression

>>6761474
I was just wondering, who keeps Rumia clean when shes such a messy eater?

before getting to gensokyo, I'd get a Fedora. there's no way I'd be in gensokyo without a hat.

second, I think myself a good title... something in the lines of "Ryusei the eternal wanderer" or something funny... third and most importantly... I go straight to the human village and engage with either Keine, Sakuya or Eirin who are known to go there often... be a good friend, gain notoriety and hope ZUN makes me the first male character around that is not MANnosuke. Else case, go to the moriya shrine and give my life for one night with Kanako and die a happy man.

>>6761447
It's really kind of strange Suwako seems to have gone "You did what? Fair enough, you seem to be keener on this whole 'god' business than me, I'ma retire to be a loli frog".

>>6761460

Yeah, but she is an ignorant bumpkin who probably thought war was some kind of festival when she asked someone to define it for her.

She looks like a loli because to a farmer, a nubile young woman who will live a long life of domestic chores and child-bearing is the pinnacle of sexy, feminine power.

>>6761496

In my personal version of Gensokyo black Tewi said it was okay to pull out of my ass, Suwako surrendered to Kanako because Kanako threatened her worshipers directly and Suwako was unwilling to harm humans.

Grow opium with Yuuka and hope she doesn't kill me.

>>6759310
>Create stainless steel weapons

Screw all the autism and QUALITY, this is the stupidest thing I've ever read on /jp/.

>>6761524
yeah but keep it to your self faggot. its not worth derailing a good topic

If I somehow stumbled on to the formula to make a portal to Gensokyo I would immediately leave the way I came.

Back in the mortal world I would go tens of thousands of dollars in dept to get my degree in Gynecology, Pediatrics and Podiatry before returning.

>>6761587
Two left feet

I practice and practice and practice and practice in order to become as powerful as possible!

MY WILLPOWER SHALL PREVAIL

>>6759541
Medicine is a doll. Dolls don't die.

>where does this "I die and become a Youkai" stuff come from?

I think it's patently ridiculous. Imagine a world where everyone who died with the slightest regret became a wandering ghost. Imagine how crowded that would be.

And most youkai aren't former humans at all.

hmm...1st i would try to get to know them and get closer after a while or years and then pick which path would i can still be a human or become a Yokai, Ghost, etc,etc then make the final choice

>>6761829
Get to know who? How do you survive long enough to get to anyone to even know? I dont think you have thought this through bud.