/jp/ - Otaku Culture

bad, except for the time I was asleep

I've been drinking since 9am. How about you?

Reported.

Spam incoming in some minutes.

It's fine, but I'm bored.

fucking sucky i'd kill myself if i felt any better.

The weekend isn't so bad, but the week was awful.

Yeah, considering that this thread, the meido thread and some anime crap being ignore "the" maid is clearly not here.

Gotta train these new janitors how to work.

>>6565007
You could always drift back of to sleep right?

>>6565011
Watching some PPD and waiting for some friends to get back so we can hang out.

>>6565015
Reported to who?

Have fun spamming the 5 or so threads that spawn from this too.

>>6565016
Just keep hitting F5

>>6565017
That doesn't sound very good.

only been up for an hour, and its 4:00

>>6565035
>You could always drift back of to sleep right?
I'm thinking about it, but I don't like being asleep for more than 20 hours a day.

I'm stressing over finals. I can't take it easy.

Got to sleep in til noon, which is always cool.

Just finished getting the video I need for a final. I've got about a half gig of footage for a three minute one-man-movie, so hopefully it'll work out. I was just about to choose the best shots and get them into Premier. I'm also going to take this opportunity to complain.

What the hell, Camelot? I waited seven years for this sequel; that's a third of my young life. I was expecting a lot more content. These aren't those tiny GBA cartridges, you've got more space now. I wanted one sixty hour game, not another two thirty hour games. I ground through the game thinking I had a lot left. Yet I didn't even hit 24 hours in play time. Bonus dungeons excluded, thankfully. My team was only in their mid-40's and we just curb stomped the final boss. Just...gah.

I mean, there're sequel hooks, but that? That was about half the god damn plot you left hanging. Psynergy Vortexes, those dark sky whatever people, what the fuck Arcanus is up to (well, no good, but that's beside the point), you even cut out on a god damn cliff hanger and had the gall to end it with "The End?". I was all right with the game playing so much like the original, but to advance the plot just like the original? C'mon, guys. I was fine with it back in the day because this was a new series on a small amount of memory.

Oh well. At least I got a waifu out of the deal. My wallet will see you again in 2013, Camelot.

>>6565021
Well try to make up for you bad weekend today, somehow.

>>6565036
No plans for the day then?

>>6565044
Whoa, 20hrs? That's quite a bit.

>>6565026
Threads like this one are always around so I wouldn't use that as a reason as to why "the" maid isn't here. I think any janitor would know that anime doesn't belong here too...

Fiddling around with my keyboard, you know, the instrumental kind.
Piano lessons for Christmas~

My weekend so far has been pretty shitty. Got into a fight with my parents last night.

Reported

>>6565069
"the" maid always deleted these on sight. Anyways here we go:

Anyways, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.

>>6565061
>Whoa, 20hrs? That's quite a bit.
Yeah, but at least my dreams are usually sweet and full of Touhous.

Anyways, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

Yoshinoya is expensive as hell.

­Anyways, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

>>6565061
prob gonna chat with a certain person for an hour an play some video games

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it's really related to this threa­d.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it's really related to this threa­d.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

I should have used another pasta. Oh well I think this one will do.

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it­'s really related to this threa­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

I should have used another pasta. Oh well I think this one will do.

I went to Yosinoya once. It was closed...

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it­'s really related to this threa­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a while ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

I should have used another pasta. Oh well I think this one will do.

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it­'s really related to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

I should have used another pasta. Oh well I think this one will do.

Woke up one hour ago, ate something and saw retarded posts on /jp/. Nothing different from the usual.

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it­'s really related to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

I should have used another pasta. Oh well I think this one will do.

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it­'s really related to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.­

I should have used another pasta. Oh well I think this one will do.

>>6565136
Sage bombing on a board as slow as /jp/ is kind of retarded.

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That it­'s really related to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

>>6565106
It already sank

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s really related to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s really relate­­d to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Thanks for taking care of it for me, random yoshinoya spammer.
------

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s really relate­­d t­­­o this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

The short, bearded figure stood on the stage, gesturing furiously as he declaimed on the evils of the RIAA and occasionally pacing around a bit.

"Richard, you've changed," murmured the balding, nondescript-looking man in the audience to himself.

After the talk, the bearded man strolled up the stairs, unconcerned by the train of scruffy-looking undergraduates following after. He was headed for the cookie table. As he began to shovel handfuls of madeleines and pecan brownies into his mouth, the bald, mustachioed man approached.

"Eric," the bearded man gasped, nearly dropping a handful of shortbread cookies (but not quite.)

"Richard," the bald man said firmly.

"What brings you here?" asked the bearded man. The undergraduates merely stared wide-eyed, knowing something special was happening, but not knowing quite what. At least, the ones who weren't also going for the cookie table.

"Well, Richard, you'll remember how we knew each other, seven years before you started the GNU project," said Eric.

"Yes..." Richard began to say, when he was interrupted by a particularly young-looking undergraduate.

"In the biblical sense?" taunted the undergraduate, as she adjusted her baseball cap and pulled on her red hair.

There was silence.

"Yes, young ladies and gentlemen, in the biblical sense," said Eric.

"I think we need to go upstairs, to my office," said Richard.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s really relate­­d to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

>>6565177
It's a honor to fight alongside you.

Together, they headed for the elevator as the crowd of undergraduates, graduate students, and administrators who had gathered (no faculty members, since they wouldn't have wanted to be seen at a gathering where students would be present) gaped speechlessly. They got off at the seventh floor and Richard directed them towards a corner office.

"Don't worry, Professor mumble mumble won't be here for the rest of the afternoon," said Richard, who still had managed to make those fudge wafers last for four floors.

As they settled at opposite ends of the black leather couch that occupied a small portion of the office, Eric looked at Richard.

"You looked better with short hair," he said.

"Well, you looked better before you gained that 30 pounds," said Richard.

"It's all muscle," he said, and they both laughed. Then they were silent.

Eric broke the silence. "Open-source software, free software, why did we let such distinctions of terminology divide us so? Linux has been such a huge success and we've both contributed to that. We have more similarities than differences."

"That's GNU/Linux, Eric, and you ought to know why as well as anybody. Why, the Linux operating system would be completely nonfunctional without the many software utilities contributed by volunteers for the GNU project, including--"

"Richard, Richard. You're not talking to a journalist. You're talking to me. The only man you ever loved."

Eric's arm extended across the back of the couch. Richard inched ever so slightly closer.

"Well, you have no idea what it's like to live alone in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with only my four honorary doctorates to keep me company while you and your open-source friends get all the glory. It's just so hard, Eric."

Eric's eyes sparkled, "Just so hard, eh?"

Richard squirmed. "Well..."

"It's been so long."

"Well, yes, that is how I remembered it..."

"So, you said that Professor cough cough wasn't going to be back this afternoon, right? Because if you wanted to, we could go find a place to stay for the evening..." (The professor's name was once again obscured when Eric had a brief dryness in his throat.)

"No, let's just make good use of the place we have for now. It's free, after all."

"Free as in freedom?"

"No, free as in love."

They embraced. Richard's shirt came off, knocking loose the halo made from a disk platter that was still attached to his head. Before too long, the two men's back hair became an indistinguishable thatch of dark curls as Eric's cathedral entered Richard's bazaar.

"Sometimes being open to the point of promiscuity can have its advantages," breathed Richard.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s really relate­­d to this thre­­a­d.
I went to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

"And you know I've always believed that there were some situations where tight control over the development process was necessary," sighed Eric.

Afterward, they lay together on the couch as the afternoon sun shone on them, stroking each other's beards. "You're even better now that you have a Jesus complex," said Eric.

"You certainly seemed to think that it wasn't just a complex!"

"That was five minutes ago, this is now."

"Oh." They cuddled some more. "I guess we'll always have the AI Lab."

"So, I have a date later on to play the recorder for some birds. Would you like to... come along?"

"Whenever I hear about you doing that kind of thing, I reach for my gun," said Eric.

"Ha ha!" they both laughed.

"Actually, I wasn't kidding."

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s really relate­­d to this thre­­a­d.
I went­ to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

_、,_
　① （⊂_　　ﾐ　Invented by Korean
　↓
　 ② （ ´_⊃｀）　Commercialized by American
　↓
　③ ﾐ　´_＞｀） Invested by British
　↓
　④ ξ ・_>・） Designed by French
　↓
　⑤ （ ´U_,｀） Publicized by Italian
　↓
　⑥ （　´∀｀）　Improved & miniaturized by German
　↓
　⑦ （ ｀ハ´）　Pirated by Chinese
　↓　　　_,,_
　⑧ <ヽ｀д´>　Claimed its origin by Japanese

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s really relate­­d to this thre­­a­d.
I went­ to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Imperishable Night sucks a fucking cock.
This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all beat the fourth stage boss and go to "Eientei"! Too bad Eientei isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get to play as a team! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Playing as a team fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you SHOOT FAIRIES, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting shot types in the game, such as Marisa, Sakuya, and Youmu. But guess what? You can use them on like 2 levels total, and if you later on you unfocus and get hit ONCE, you never use them AGAIN since you are afraid of dying again. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Imperishable Night may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to this thre­­a­d.
I went­ to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Super Mario Bros 3 sucks a fucking cock.
This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all get the warp whistle and warp to "big world"! Too bad big world isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get Kuribo's shoe on one fucking level! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Kuribo's shoe fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you JUMP ON THINGS, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting power-ups in the game, such as Tanookie Mario, Hammer Mario, and Frog Mario. But guess what? You can get them on like 2 levels total, and if you fuck up and get hit ONCE, you lose them, FOREVER. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Mario 3 may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to this thre­­a­d.
I went­ to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to this th­re­­a­d.
I went­ to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to this th­re­­a­d.­
I went­ to Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

JESUS TITTYFUCKING CRACK SMOKING CHRIST ON A MOPED WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THIS SAVED?!

SERIOSULY WHAT KIND OF PERSON SEEKS OUT, DOWNLOADS, SAVES AND REPOSTS AN IMAGE, AN ANIMATED IMAGE, OF A DEER FUCKING A CRYING SCHOOLGIRL?!

LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE BIZZARE FETISHES AND WEIRD SHIT THAT TURNS PEOPLE ON, AND YOU KNOW I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT, I JUST DON'T LOOK AT IT. BUT THIS.
FUCKING THIS.

THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO SAVE THIS...THING, AND THEN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTED TO SEE IT JSUT BOGGLES MY MOTHERFUCKING MIND. WHAT TYPE OF A PERSONA RE YOU? SERIOUSLY. DO YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELF OR DO YOU ACT LIKE A CREEPY FUCK IN PUBLIC TOO?! DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS AT ALL? I SURE AS FUCK HOPE NOT.

AND THE WORST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THAT IN ABOUT 30 POSTS THIS WILL MORPH INTO A LUCKY STAR PORN THREAD WITH ALMOST A HUNDRED IMAGES OF SIMILAR SITUATIONS DEPICTING CHILDREN BEING HORRIBLY MOLESTED THAT NEARLY A HUNDRED PEOPLE ALL HAVE SAVED TO THEIR HARD DRIVES TO JACK OFF OVER AS THE HELPLESS LITTLE GIRL SQUIRMS IN PANIC ON THEIR SCREEN FOR THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT.

JUST WHAT THE FUCK. I KNOW THIS IS HOW THE INTERNET WORKS BUT
WHAT
THE
FUCK

TOO MUCH. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

(inb4 capslock is cruise control for cool, fuck off pedophiles I can press any damn key I please, go rot in jail)

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to this th­re­­a­d.­
I went­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Bumpu~

I hit my girlfriend today, /b/.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the years.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I cocked my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor. She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. I washed off my hand, browsed /b/ for a bit, and took a dump. While I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go to the cops or anything.

I'm not too sure what to do next.

in all seriousness.
all complete seriousness, as in: no more memes or witty comebacks.
all of that shit aside, completely serious right now.
if I had a gun with one bullet, and you were standing in front of me.
but next to you, was Hitler, alive again and ready to kill another 7 million or so Jews.
Honestly, I would shoot you. I really would. Why you're even on /b/ is something I really would like to know. I want to know how you managed to stumble into this place, and who told you about this secret place of the internet.

Honestly, you're the sole reason /b/ is full of fail nowadays. It would give me great pleasure to know that before I left, I could at least convince one idiot to leave this place for those with a positive IQ.

So please, in all seriousness, just leave this place and never return

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to this th­re­­a­d.­
I went­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! did you leave the lists alone?
Chorus:
Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call.

We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! did you leave that source alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no side-effecting
We don't need no flow control
No global variables for execution
Hey! did you leave the args alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special-nodes
No dark bit-flipping for debugging
Hey! did you leave those bits alone?
(Chorus)
-- "Another Glitch in the Call", a la Pink Floyd

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

I'll tell you guys an experience of mine.

Earlier this year I got summoned for jury duty, it would be the first time I'd left the house in about a year.
Coincidentally, this is also my first time being summoned for jury duty, so not only would I be in a completely new environment, but I'd be doing so alone (father can't accompany me and it's also embarrassing to have your dad hold your hand through jury duty.) and with my problems as a Hikkikomori and NEET.

My dad dropped me off at a building where I was told to go (Civil affairs, I think it was...) and so I'm on my own now. I'm all dressed up, had my hair cut, shaved and everything for this. I stumbled into a lady (or did she run into me?) either way, she dropped coffee on me and I ended up having to quickly take off my outer shirt so that the one under it wouldn't stain. I ended up taking almost both off, the second shirt coming up enough that it revealed my nipples. I'm super fucking skinny and it's really embarrassing and I was about to cry right there , I'm sure my eyes had been real fucking watery. The lady noticed (I think) and she took me to another room to get cleaned up. Fortunately The t-shirt I was wearing underneath the long sleeved one on top, was black and it barely got wet so no one would notice even if it had stained, but either way I felt horribly about my skinny arms that people would now be able to see, combined with my pale skin and the bags under my eyes from staying up so late, I was now super anxious about people thinking I'm a drug addict.

Kopipe anon, I missed you. Where where you for that stretch of time?

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to this th­re­­a­d.­
I went­­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Okay, so now I'm more anxious than ever before and I go back to the room where everyone else who was summoned was waiting (and where the accident happened..), holy fuck. I sat alone in a corner in the FRONT (the only empty seat..) and waited, and waited.. for about 30 minutes that seemed like years to me, I was sweating through the whole thing, with watery eyes. I could fucking feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. (My eyes just got wet remembering it ;_;) Anyway, so from about 50 people that were gathered here, only 30 would have to go to the courthouse.. Yeah "go to the courthouse" FUCK ME. The whole fucking time I was under the impression that this was the courthouse, even though it didn't look like one. So I'm sitting there listening as the same lady from before is calling out the names. So I'd been keeping count, hoping that I wasn't one of them, we're at 29 and I'm about to scream inside my head with joy... and she calls out my name. A tear literally fell down my eyes and I walked out as fast as I could, only to have her call out to me and go.. hey! are you so-and-so? Then I remembered people answering "here" as if they were in school and I said with the shakiest voice possible "yeah" and she says to me, Here these are the directions on how to get there, and so I had to walk all the way back up there, get the paper and then go back out.. all while everyone else who wasn't called, but told to wait anyway, stared fixedly at my pathetic face.

Goodnight, Satori. It was nice speaking with you.

>>6565150
No, it still hasn't.

Okay so now I'm outside this building (I honestly don't remember what it was called, but Civil Affairs comes to mind.. anyone know if I'm right or wrong?) and I reach into my pocket for my cellphone so that I can call my dad and let him know that I need a ride to the courthouse (that is about 4 miles away)... Okay found my wallet, and some gum in one pocket let's check the other.. okay there's some cigarettes and a lighter, no phone. I finally broke down right there. Tears came down and I must have had that face that you would make if you found out your mother died (or someone dear to you). As I started walking to the streetlight so that I'd cross the street and make my way there on-foot, a lady called out to me from her car and asked me if I needed a ride. Tears still flowing down my eyes, I meekly answered "...yeah". I got in the car and she gave me a tissue and (thankfully) didn't say anything throughout the drive. When we got there, I quickly said thanks and got out of the car and went to a fountain that was near the entrance, I put a bit from the sleeve from my top shirt into it and washed my face with it and decided to wait until everyone else got into the courthouse (there was a line...).

Okay so I smoked a cigarette to calm down a bit and get that "buzz" so that I'd feel better, after a few minutes of waiting there was only about 5 people left waiting to go inside. I got in line and was quickly inside, there I was told by a security guard to take out everything from my pockets and put it in a tray, the whole time the guard was glaring at me (probably my appearance and the shirt hanging over my shoulder...) when I got to my cigarettes I swear he lifted one of his eyebrows and I imagined him going "hoh..."...fuck. I'm only 19 so I can't buy cigarettes combined with my addict appearance, ohhh dammit. So I put the tray into that machine that turns.. like the ones used in airports. And I had to go through one of those metal detectors, I wasn't worried, but it went off anyway. What the fuck could I have had that made it go off? Well another guard came up with one of those hand-held metal detectors and started looking for it. but it didn't go off. So then he just started feeling me up and said that it was probably just my necklace. So I turned to the other guard he's standing there with the cigarettes in his hand and he says to me "How old are you ,son?" 19 sir... And he just glared at me and put them back in the tray and gave me a frightening look. I was still feeling buzzed from the cigarette earlier so I didn't break down, but nonetheless it was scary.

>>6565359
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

I turned toward where everyone else was and wow, before me was this huge hallway absolutely packed with people, it was a hallway that lead into a bigger area, but the walls were packed with people sitting down in their chairs, it was a hallway of people some staring right at me, seemingly having watched what happened with me and the guards. So there I took what felt like a walk of shame down this looong hall. There were no seats left anywhere at all. Even there were, I probably wouldn't sit next to anyone else. So I found a stairway that lead somewhere below and hid there. I didn't know what to expect next since I'd never done this before, so I just waited. For about 30 minutes I sat on heels and waited until I heard a voice yell out, calling for everyone's attention. I went back up (I was only enough steps down so that no one would notice me) and listened to her instructions. She said "Okay everyone please pay attention, the people whom I call out are assigned to room 3B" and so again, like before, names were called out, but this time I was one of the first to be called, after finishing she said that anyone who was not called could go home and they wouldn't have to serve on a trial. A guy with a neckbeard (white from old age) and glasses patted me on the back and said " I guess we're the lucky ones, huh? Haha" I just did one of those awkward laughs and said "..yeah"

So now there was about 30 people I would guess (It was still a lot, but nothing compared to the seemingly hundreds from before). We were told to wait and that we'd be called into the actual court room for further instructions. I made my way to a chair off near one of those EXITs where you're not allowed to open the door, you know the emergency only ones? I sat down and closed my eyes relaxing in my new found solitude.. until I heard a noise right next to me, it was that same guy from before dammit. I wanted to get out of there and find a new seat, but I didn't want to be mean either, I felt trapped as he began to chat me up. He started asking me all kinds of things like my age and he'd reply with his own answer as if the question was for both of us. This guy had these really skinny pants and a yellow/orange navy shirt and he was old. I made my mind up that this guy was gay and was hitting on me (old guys are always gay). I wasn't going to hesitate anymore I was about to get up and leave to another area until the the bailiff called out for everyone from 3B. He told us all to take a seat in the court room and pay close attention to the Judge. So in we went. I walked quickly and even cut in front of some people so that I wouldn't have to sit next to the old neckbeard.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­d.­
I went­­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Okay so we're all sitting down and waiting for the Judge. I examined my surroundings a bit. (See picture for detailed description) So the two lawyers caught my eye, they were beauties, especially the one representing the people. I'm not saying 3D is good, but when faced with a real woman I couldn't help but admire their looks, especially the one representing the people, I don't remember her name, but she had long black beautiful hair which was the main reason I admired her, she reminded me of Kenshin from Sengoku Rance, so we'll call her Kenshin. The other one looked like.. well I can't think of anyone right now, but she was also good looking.

Enough about them, after like 3 minutes the judge came in and the bailiff said something like "The Honorable so-and-so has arrived please come to order." The judge thanked him and then started talking to us and I was amazed, this guy sounded so friendly. He talked to us so gently and just had this presence about him that made me feel comfortable. So he explained to us that this was a criminal trial and the defendant so-and-so was charged with driving under the influence. He then asked if anyone had a reason that they absolutely could not serve on this trial and people were quick to raise their hands. He said "Ah ah, yes, please lower your hands, we'll start with the first row." (A lot of people raised their hands...) I considered doing it, but what would I say? "I'm an introvert and I'm scared to death of leaving my home." I couldn't say that, not only was it shameful, but also unbelievable. It would just sounds like an excuse to get out of it. So I didn't, others did giving reasons like they don't have means of getting to the court or that they can't do it because they absolutely need to work. He dismissed everyone with an excuse with reasons like "Financial Hardship" (only one that I can remember right now..) So then he told us that out of the 20 or so of us there only 13 (I think) Would actually serve as the jury. I got called up first to take a seat in the jury stand and I was about to leave to my left side (see picture), but the bailiff said "Ah, please leave through the other side.. and so I had to make my way down the aisle where everyone else was sitting... I had all eyes on me and once again I was anxious.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­
I went­­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

So I took my seat (#1) and waited as everyone else got called up. In my seat there had been a paper with questions like (in no particular order); Have you served on a Jury before?; Are you employed?; Do you have a spouse or partner?; Is there any reason why you can't serve as a(some word that I forgot) Juror? So while everyone took their seats I thought over the answers that I'd give and decided that I'd just answer truthfully since I didn't want to get in trouble. The judge asks me all the questions, the last one being about employment. Then he adds an extra question "Ah, if you're not employed, what are you doing, son?" think... what could I say? I was definitely not gonna say that I'm a NEET so I lied and said I'd be going to college soon, and then he says "Oh really? What are you gonna be majoring in?" I must have sounded extremely pathetic when I said "uhh...I don't know yet" the judge must have noticed, because he looked me right in the eyes and went "Ah yeah." he had to have seen through me, and everyone else along with him ;_;.

>>6565373
What?

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

>>6564999
>mfw Satorin

WE ARE HERE TO TALK ABOUT OTAKU CULTURE, NOT OUR WEEKENDS. UNLESS WE WENT TO COMIKET OR SOME SHIT. FUCK OFF, BUTTSUCKER.

The defendant lawyer didn't ask me anything. Then the judge and the two lawyers exited through the door next to the judge's desk (see picture) and after about 10 minutes they came back. The judge says that some people will be dismissed and to not have their feelings hurt since it isn't a bad thing. Hope lit up for me, I was sure I'd get sent off. I must seem like a real sketchy guy, right? Well. I didn't get sent off. I watched as about 5 people got dismissed, all of them silently going "yes!". Then five more people who were sitting in the rowed seats were called up. They were asked the same questions by the judge, this time one guy broke down crying when it got to the question "Is there any reason why you can't serve as a (something) Juror?" When the judge asked him for the reason, the guy just shook his head in his palms, crying, and the judge said "Dismissed on personal (i think) hardships. The lawyers questioned them again and then they went into the door and came out and dismissed some more people.

In the next batch there was a guy who spit complete bullshit. When questioned, he said "YO! I think people should be allowed to drink and drive, HURRRR" Yeah, he got dismissed, the guy obviously said that to get off jury duty, I don't know if he got into any trouble or not, but he was dismissed either way. The same process repeated until we ran out of people to put up as jurors and then the judge said, Alright, you folks will serve as ours jurors, the trial will last from today (Monday) through Thursday, everyone please show up at this courthouse tomorrow at 9:00 AM.
So now I could finally go home, but I'd have to come back for the rest if the week, unfortunately. So I'm outside the courthouse and I realize that I told my father I'd call him to pick me up, but I don't have a phone. Ahhh, I'll have to ask inside I guess. I asked the guards up front if there were any phones I could use, "No." What about the one behind you over there? "You can't." All while glaring at me. "There's an airport across the street, why don't you go check over there?" Ah.. okay..
So off I go.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­
I went­­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshinoya?­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

I was about to cross the street when I noticed the the bus was here, I decided I'd try and overcome this tough day and ran over to the bus and got on. Payed my fare and I sat in front where there was no one else. I decided to relax and watch the road go by. I got caught up in it that I didn't notice If we were going in the right direction or not, to be honest I didn't know which was was right or wrong. I tried to pay closer attention to where I was headed, but I didn't know where the roads lead. I don't know how to drive and I've never traveled by myself, I have no sense of direction. I went into panic mode and decided I'd get off somewhere that looked like it might have a payphone.


Eventually we stopped in front of a motorcycle repair shop, I decided to get off here. (REALLY stupid) I decided to have a smoke and calm down and get that buzzed feeling again before doing anything else. So I'm riding my little buzz and walking towards the shop to check for a payphone and I notice some bikers, I ask them for the time (I was surprised by this myself, there was no way I'd do this without smoking a cigarette) The guy answers 6:30 PM.. and he asks me for a cigarette. So I give him and his friend a cigarette and they start chatting me up, but eventually end up talking to each other since I wasn't participating. I looked around and there was no payphone in sight so I decided to look for one (and get away from these guys), as I'm leaving they ask me where I'm going and I meekly answered "ah... home"
They just told me to take care, thanked me for the cigarette and went on their way. After looking up, down and across the road I couldn't see a payphone in sight, nor any place that might have one like a fast food restaurant or something. Then I noticed where I was at. I was somewhere in the neighboring city that's filled with gangs.

At this point I was afraid to cross the street since I could see bald-headed mexican gang members going in and out of the shops across the street. And this side wasn't really developed, I started walking north(in the picture, not sure if it was actually north) I passed a Subway and a Petshop (didn't go in since there were gangsters hanging out in the parking lot.. So I kept walking and I passed some closed off area, I think they were private apartments or something, you know those gated communities? Then there was a bridge that I had to cross, below the bridge was just desert. This experience was especially excruciating since there were so many cars passing by and the sidewalk was really thin, I felt Like I'd get run over at any moment. I considered going back and crossing the desert below instead. but decided against it.


So I crossed the street again and made my way to the gas station. A few cars there.. no gangsters in sight. There was a payphone here as well. I went inside and got change for some quarters, made my way to the phone and called home, nobody answers. I don't know my father's cellphone number. Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried home again, no one answered. After running out of quarters I went back in to get change (by the way the place is an AM/PM) , then I headed to the side of the AM/PM and I sat on my heels and started thinking about everything that's happened. I started crying. I was so damn frustrated that I just started crying silently so that hopefully no one would notice.

Someone did notice. Some mexican chick noticed me crying and came over to me. She asked what's wrong and I simply said "I'm frustrated that's all" and I dug my head into my knees and continued crying. She kept on trying to comfort me then a guy came over (her boyfriend?) he's like "yo what the fuck are you doing over here? leave this drunkie alone" she says that I'm not wrong and that "he needs a friend right now" .... So the guy was like "ora so what's wrong bro?" Nothing I'm just a little tired.. I'll be fine in a bit, but they stayed by my side and then some more guys came over. They brought me a beer to cheer me up and started talking to me. I began to tell them of my day and about how I'm currently lost, tried to call home to get my father to pick me up, but he's not home, how I don't know his cell phone number. And that I don't even know where I am, just what city it is. Then they say "Huh? This aint (city) bro, this is (city)" HUH? Dammit, I was further from home than I thought.


So they lent me one of their phones to try and call home again. No luck. My dad is ALWAYS out. I have his cellphone number on my own cellphone... but I don't have it with me. So then they offered to give me a ride home. Yeah. Gangsters offered to help me out. I was really hesitant to accept their offer, but they lifted me up and practically dragged me over to their car, actually it was an SUV... I think, I'm not good with cars but it was a big vehicle. So I told them where they could drop me off and that I'd be able to find my own way home from there, and the guy was like "haha that's good bro, never trust a gangbanger. That's some good instincts bro. But don't worry, we'll get you home" And so, by now it was night, looking over at the clock, about an hour had passed since the repair shop, it was almost 8 pm. By the time we got to a Circle K that was a few blocks away from my home it was like 8:10 pm. So I thanked them and they simply said "Don't get lost again, bro"

ITT: /jp/ - Otaku Copypasta

3 blocks from the Circle K and I was on my own street. I started walking down and toward my house, I realized that at some point I lost my long sleeve shirt and laughed. For the first time in this terrible day I laughed. When I got home my dad was pulling up into the driveway. I was anxious to get back inside the comfort of my own home, but I don't have a key. Yeah. At least my dad is here, but then I see him driving off. I was about to break into tears again, if not comforted by the fact that I was at least home. He took seemingly forever to get back (it only turned out to be 30 minutes) he said he'd forgotten his jacket at the sports back and talked to some of his buddies some more while he was there... Anyway, by the time I was back inside my house it was almost 9 pm.
My dad asked my how my day went.. I was about to scream, but I just said "It was really bad, and I have to go back for the rest of the week." Oh, did you just get back home? "Yeah, I was hanging out with Bikers and gangsters, dad." Hahaha, sounds like you had fun, huh? "Yeah, lots."

The rest of the week of my jury duty went by fine, without problems. I was even invited (and went) out to eat with one of my fellow jurors. Only thing that was awkward for me was the deliberations, since the neckbeard gay old dude kept putting me in the spotlight with question like.. "so what do you think, anonymous?"
About the trial, we found the dude guilt on both charges, 1. Driving under the influence, 2. Driving with harmful intent.

And so this was anonymous of /jp/'s day out.

>>6565359
>>6565406
You're so sweet.

I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

I think one of the worst plagues to hit /b/ is Caturday. If /b/ was once a place where only the Internet's finest would hang out and post the sickest images known to man, now all the cat lovers who never had anything to do with /b/ come here to post their "ZOMG SUPER KAWAII" cat images. Just for the record, I have 2 cats, and I take care of them very well, even though they're male and female which makes the task more difficult. It didn't bother me much when it took place during Saturday, but the "EVERY DAY IS CATURDAY" and Caturday "After Parties" is where it crosses my line. Take the lolcats.com site as an example. The retard who made it has nothing to do with /b/, and neither do any of the fags who replied to him (MySpace fags). /b/ turned from the asshole of the internet to a place where fags from Gaia and MySpace meet to make faggy discussions. It gets worse when the Caturday fags say stuff like this, and I quote:

>Yeah, because Anonymous knows /b/ hates cats.

Anonymous and /b/ hate everything and everyone in the world you idiots, get the fuck out.

Caturday is a reigning plague of faggotry that must be stopped.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­
I went­­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to play Final Fantasy 4 about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the game, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last fight.
Then I played the game again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Rydia every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Rydia.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Rydia. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Rydia everywhere.
I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Rydia dolls.. Rydia is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Rydia. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Rydia. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So, this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Rydia break free from behind her glass prison.
Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Opening up the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued smiling as usual. The Sussman raised his wand and pointed it directly at the ceiling, not taking his eyes off Asakura. The wand released a wave of glowing white parentheses and the space around The Sussman began to distort.

"It's time for some ENTERPRISE QUALITY!" Asakura cheerfully cried as she conjured the spirits of the JVM, producing a flood of boiling-hot coffee that rushed its way towards The Sussman, who stood motionless, parentheses continuing to issue from his wand like electromagnetic radiation.
"You think your turkey solutions can stop me?" The Sussman said calmly before lowering his wand, forming the pool of parentheses now gathered around him into a sharp pointed cone aimed at Asakura. Suddenly he shouted "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISP!" and the parentheses shot forward into the waves of coffee, pushing the boiling hot liquid back towards where it came.

"Nooooooo....." her cries became weaker as she became engulfed in the dark brown liquid. Everything turned black and I felt as though I had fainted. I awoke to a familiar voice.

"...before we do that for the next couple of lectures we're gonna be talking about..."

I opened my eyes and raised my head to find myself seated in a lecture theater. I glanced at the clock and found that I had missed most of the lecture. "Damnit! I was looking forward to the first lecture of the last semester of 6.001!" I thought to myself.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yoshi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.


//`'''```,
o //SICP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//

Well I was spending xmas all alone, feeling very depressed, not even a single phone call from my family. I looked through the window and basically all the lights were out in the other apartments. My neighbours were all speindg xmas somewhere else, having a good time. Then I decided to go for a walk. It was late night. The streets were mostly empty. As I walked by an alley I saw the image of Santa. Well it was a middle aged man dressed as Santa. And he was very drunk, I could tell because of the stumbling steps. He turned to one of the walls, and pulled his dick out to piss. I knew this was my opportunity. I walked to him, and got on my knees just before he started. In a few seconds I was able to feel that hot piss dripping, flowing... He was holding it for ages because when he finished I was soaking wet. When it was over, I kissed the tip of his PENIS, stood up and hugged him. He said: Merry Christmas, sonny...

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

So there I was in Little Ceasars getting some crazy bread and cheese sauce, when I look over at my girlfriend who's sitting down, apparently unphased by how much her shirt is hanging down and how much her titties are showing.

"Jesus christ, cover your tits up."
"I can do what I want."

Upon hearing this, the giant negra in line next to me turns to face me, makes eye contact, turns to look my girlfriend in the face, lowers her gaze to her tits, looks back at her face, looks towards me, I smile and nod, and he goes back to ordering.

She got offended I didn't do anything but hey, fuck that. I'll share.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; you know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

IF U WERE FLAMED FOR USING LISP TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR SUICIDE CUZ ID B N DAT CUNTS HOUSE N SHOVE SICP DOWN HIS THROAT!
//`'''```,
o // LISP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co
WE TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIES
WE READ SICP TOGETHER
WE COUNT PARENTHESES TOGETHER
send this SUAVE SPACE TOAD to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6001 your A TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIE

My stepmom had infantilism. If you don't know what that means, it's when you get off on diapers. When I was around eleven, she diapered me frequently, whenever she had free time, following an incident where I urinated in public. She never blackmailed me or convinced me that what she was doing was somehow an act of love, she was just physically stronger then me. If I happened to be particularly objectionable to this process, she would sit on my upper torso so that I could offer little in the way of physical resistance.

Along with this, she put a crib in our guest room and made me take naps in it. Of course, she also wanted to change me. If I tried to take a diaper off when she put one on me, I would be spanked. If I tried to talk when she put a pacifier in my mouth, I would be slapped. If I was not particularly forthcoming with urinating or shitting myself, but not disobeying her directly, she would forcefeed me this awful herbal milk stuff which made my body quite complicent of these functions even when I was not. In later occasions, she would give me the formula and then not do anything about it until I asked her, "Will you change my diaper please, mommy?". This probably had something to do with willfull submission.

Bottles were thrust into my mouth as often as cocks would be shoved into a whore's. For evening meals, I was pinned to a highchair and forcefed with a paper spoon while she made obnoxious sounds.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

She made quite sure my body lacked any kind of hair, excluding the stuff on my head. Some nights, when I got to wear what I wanted, she would come in as I was asleep, remove what I had on, and diaper me up, occasionally bottlefeeding me yet again. For a while, she took pills to make her breasts produce milk and breastfed me, although she stopped after they made her sick. She would take naked pictures of me, mostly of my ass as I lay down, and sometimes with a full diaper, or after tickling me to make it seem like I loved her or something.

When she spanked me, she often did it with my diaper on. When she held me in her arms, she often played with my ass. She frequently took my temperature the old fashioned way. I guess it turned her on.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up croma lisp* my name is patrick collison but u can call me t3h LiSpNiK oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very lisp!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet lispers like me ^_^... im 19 years old (im very lisp 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch sussman & abelson w/ my boyfreind (im web 2.0 if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favourite tv show!!! bcuz its so lisp!!!!! hes lisp 2 of course but i want 2 meet more lisp ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein lispy again ^_^ hehe...toodles

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Dinosaurs are one of the coolest things from my childhood, and I remember all the dinos-- MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL ABOUT THEM? MOTHERFUCKER, I WANT A CUTE LITTLE VELOCIRAPTOR AS A PET, TO CUDDLE UP WITH HIS FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING. I DON'T MEAN A JURASSIC PARK VELOCIRAPTOR EITHER, THAT'S A DIENONYCHUS, I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL VELOCIRAPTOR. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAT, AND IT'S A PACK ANIMAL, SO IT WOULD BE LIKE HAVING A TWO LEGGED DOG COVERED IN FEATHERS. I'D TOTALLY NAME HIM SOMETHING AWESOME, LIKE NATHANIEL OR SOMETHING, AND I'D CARRY HIM AROUND WITH ME, AND MAYBE TEACH HIM TO STAND ON MY SHOULDER, AND ALL THE GIRLS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT, THEY'D BE "OH, ENGARDE, THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE RAPTOR YOU'VE GOT THERE, CAN I PET HIM?" AND I'D BE LIKE, "WELL, SURE YOU CAN, NATHANIEL LIKES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN." AND THEN SHE'D BE ALL BLUSHY, AND WE'D START A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT RAPTORS, BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE DINOSAURS.
I'D HAVE NATHANIEL SIT ON MY DESK AND KEEP ME COMPANY ALL DAY.

Okay, I'm going to end every Elfen Lied thread ever.
First, its pronounced Elfen Leed, as in rhymes with "Reed".

Secondly, it has essentially no comprehensible storyline, ancient horned savants whose horns look like cat ears are awakened by a mad scientist, and intend to destroy the world.
Except the protagonist doesn't even try to stop them. So they basically do.

Before that, though, it tons of unnecesary gore, and poorly delivered fanservice. In fact, the fanservice is basically the only reason to read the manga. Don't ever, ever, ever watch the anime, as they took out or changed all the best fanservice scenes, and as I previously stated, this is the only reason to read the mango.
There is indeed a scene in which one of the love interests is on the protagonist's lap "Because it's cold and rainy outside," and whilst the protagonist settles into position, the girl slides down his leg and is stimulated. After this, she for some reason NEEDS to take off her wet panties just then, so she bids the protagonist to turn around, who of course turns back around only to see the girl fallen over accidentally, spread open. At that same moment, the other members of the harem arrive, wonders ensue, etc etc.

Rinse and repeat this harem fanservice cycle about 400 times with a shitty contrived 2-D storyline and needless gore. If this sounds awesome, then read the mango. If this sounds like a terrible waste of time, then skip on by.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Sometimes, she fondled me when she changed me.

She made me take baths with her as my arms were bound. In later years, when I was bigger then her, she would often bind and drug me, although I was still very small for my age and she was very fit, and she could still occasionally overpower me outright.

I'm probably missing some stuff.

All this continued untill I was 18 and went to college. My dad was pretty oblivious to the whole thing, and most likely still doesn't know, if they are still alive. I don't know where they are. I don't care.

What a fucking bitch.

CHARACTERS:

The worst part of Elfen Lied. The characters are garbage. They are so cliche and so overboard, they almost insult the intelligence of the viewer, as if we couldn't tell that Bando was short tempered and callous without either threatening the life or punching the faces of every single person he comes in contact with. All the characters are extremely unrealistic and act in ways no real person in today's society would ever act. Like a four year old girl who talks like a James Bond villain? Or elementary school boys who bully their classmates by smashing their puppies faces in with bottles? Teenagers who find naked women lying on beaches and takes them home to live with them without exchanging hardly any words? Besides all that, there weren't many cliches that weren't used in the daily dialogue from the characters. It was actually pretty painful.

At precisely 11:59 PM GMT, I press "play" on my sound system, a CD containing a masterful rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" prepares to play at ear-shattering volumes. I strip the glove quickly before the CD begins, throwing it hastily out of sight. Should I fail to throw it far enough, I must stop the CD player before the pre-arranged five second silence is finished. That day, there will be no pleasure.

Should the glove be out of sight and out of mind, all is well. I sit back, and let the vibrations of sound finish the job. I stare at the only image that has yet fulfilled my criteria for arousal, and a glorious geyser of semen erupts from my penis, splattering every which way in the room. I sit in a half-conscious daze of joy for nearly half an hour before I prepare for the hour-long task of cleansing my computer room once again.

Even as I finish up, I hear the fading whispers in my delusional mind from the image which I stare at so deeply.

Now if you'll pardon me, I shall take my leave and indulge myself in delicious pudding confectionaries before it is time for self-pleasure.

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

There are four engineers travelling in a car -- a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a computer scientist. The car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip
down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.

"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer scientist, who up to then had reading his first edition SICP, and asked "Well, what do you think?"

"..."

"Ahem, Dr. Sussman?"

In AD 2008... bird was beggining
Anonymous-What happen?
Anonymous2-somebody set up us the bird
Anonymous3-we get spaghetti
Anonymous-what?
Anonymous3-main oven turn on
Anonymous-its penne
BIRDS-how are you Anonymous?
BIRDS-all your pasta are belong to us
BIRDS-you are on the way to coction
Anonymous-what you say!?
BIRDS-you have no chance to survive make your trenne
BIRDS-HA HA HA!

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

I want to be the best, there ever was
To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause!

Radiatore, Pipe, Barbina, Manti
Quadrefiore, Rigate, Fiori, Pici
Stelle, Orzo, Pearl Pasta, Ditali
Pastina, Mezzelune, Fregula, Ravioli!

Cook'em, Cook'em, gotta' cook'em all!
Gotta cook'em all!
Pasta!

I'll search across the land, look far and wide
Release from my hand, the power that's inside!

My Aikido dojo is across from a Karate dojo. We usually get alot of rude remarks from them, such as Aikido being for weaklings.

Well, one of them challenged me, he was a white male in his 20's. I accepted of course, I never back down from a challenge.

He had really good form, but his Karate was no match for my Aikido. He delivered a great kick but it was nothing for me, I easily grabbed it and knocked him down with a kick. This went on for about 10 minutes until he got too tired.

He got frustrated and left, he was about to cross the street but I stopped him from getting hit by a speeding cyclist. He didn't say thanks but it still felt good to save someone.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Japanese Martial Arts, is really an art isn't it?

Lets check out Aikido for moment. A style that doesn't even use any strikes to beat down your opponent, sound pretty cool right?

Here is a video of Aikido practitioners demonstrating various moves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ8VLPPTuH0

Note how graceful they are, it's like you are watching them dance and not fighting at all, a beautiful dance I might add.

What do you think? About Aikido and Japanese Martial Arts in general.

After a long walk between the bookcases, she stops. And she starts searching for that book.
"May I help you?" you say already seeing the book, and that Koakuma searches at the wrong place. You get the book down from the bookcase.
"Oh, you've found it!" she says smiling. But why is she blushing so heavily? She steps closer to you. She hugs you, you try to push her away, because your first thoughts was Sakuya and her silver knives...
But, her pretty hands won't let go of you.
"Oh? What's wrong?" you ask her surprised.
"...you smell good." She stares you with dreamy eyes. "Awww...your scent makes me dizzy..."
"Whaaaat!?"
"Umm...milk...I want milk..."
"Are you alright, Koakuma?" Koakuma looks at you vacantly and puts her hands on your pants.
What the...wait a minute!!"

ZIIIIIIP...

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­­a­­d.­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

Patchouli looks at the two of you and drops the book from her hands.
"Koakuma...what the hell are you two doing?!" Patchouli asks shocked and she blushes and covers her face in her hands.
You bitterly smile as you look down at Koakuma sucking your shaft.
"Umm...mmm...CHAP-CHAP... his cock is getting bigger...it doesn't fit in my mouth...ummm...SLURP-SLURP." The enchanted Koakuma massages your abs and sucks on you like a kitten does to its mother's titty.
"She said something about my smell, and this happened..."
"Then...why don't you hurry up and cum?" Patchouli reddens and yells at you.
"Y...yeah, but...it's not that easy..." you say, but your shaft is only half erect because of the shock.
"...the milk won't come out...ohh, I'm thirsty..." Koakuma says. "SLURP-SLURP...MUMPH-MUMPH...I want milk now..."
Koakuma flails her legs. Then Patchouli walks up to her.
"Koakuma, you have to do more to have him make milk."
"Is that so?" she says.
"Uh-huh. You have to tickle the tip like this or lick the sack up...massage his balls and the shaft if necessary." Patchouli kindly advises Koakuma.
"I understand. Let me try now!"
Koakuma flattens her devilish ears and wiggles her tongue on your shaft.
"Umm...CHAP-CHAP-CHAP...ohh..."

"Ohh!! This is super..." The electrifying sensation further raises in your shaft upward. "Your advice is working, Patchouli...you're sure experienced." You bear the pleasure and tell Patchouli.
"What do you mean I'm experienced? I just read that in a book. I've never actually done it, myself..." Patchouli timidly tells you this and quiets down.
"Sorry, I didn't know you hadn't..."
"Hey, don't make me say something like this!" Patchouli looks away, but she doesn't stop peeking at our act.
"Ummm...SLURP-SLURP-SLURP...you taste thicker than before...ohh...I want to drink it...please...ummm..." Koakuma erotically twists her hips and clumsily keeps stimulating you and you see that her tail elegantly sways as she moves.
"Ohh...I feel good, Koakuma..."
"I'll serve you good, so...give me a lot of milk...MUMPH-MUMPH." Koakuma buries her face in my crotch and serves your dick. You see her ears are still fluttering.
"CHAP-CHAP...the extract is coming out...ohhh, it makes me feel dizzy...umm..." Her warm tongue entangles around your shaft. The softness quickly takes you up high.
"Ahhh...I feel like I'm floating in the air...ummmm..." Koakuma sweetly pats and touches herself.
CHAP-CHAP-CHAP...
You hear wet sounds.
"Ah, my tummy feels numb....ummm...!"
BRRRR. She trembles as her body flushes pink. She continues to massage your dick.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­­a­­d.­­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­­­­­
Well anyway­­s there w­­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

You are quickly reaching the edge:
"K...Koakuma, I'm...cumming...ohh..."
"Please...cum...cum a lot..SLURP-SLURP...ummm...." she strokes your dick with her hand and taps the tip with her tongue.
I feel a burning sensation inside me. The heat gathers at my crotch. Every time she moves her tongue, a hot pleasurable sensation seethes up.
"Ummm...ummm...CHAP-CHAP...cum, please cum now...MUMPH-MUMPH..."
She passionately pants and strokes you harder.
"...I can't hold on any longer!!"you say and after a moment later "I'm cumming!!"
Your groin tenses up and your concentrated extract rushes through your gun barrel and shoots out into Koakuma's mouth.

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!!
"Ahhh...umm...your milk...your thick milk is filling me up...GULP-GULP..."

"I will go and tell this to Miss Sakuya!" Patchouli says with a wide smile on her face.But probably because she sees your and Koakuma's shocked she changes her mind "Ah, alright alright. Then I won't tell her this. But I have one condition."
"What would it be?" you ask her, ready to make anything that she wishes.
"Then you promise me, that you will return to my libary!" her face reddens again as she continues. "you know.. to make me experienced, at those things..."
"Because you can't learn everything from a book." you say, helping her through to the end her sentence. "I think I can promise this."
"Okay, right... Koakuma please guide him out." she says and she disappears behind a bookshelf.

Koakuma looks at you blushed, and tired. She gives you a warm smile, then she speaks:
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist, your smell..." she turns away "I-I just... well where do you want to go?"
"I think..."

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them and stared menacingly. In a loud booming voice, it asked "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" and everything turned black.

When they woke up, they found themselves sitting in a lecture hall at MIT, amonst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the board. Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, wearing his robe and wizard hat.

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the strangely-dressed group, shocked and staring back at him.

"What...?" Patchouli managed to say, all of them confused and unable to understand what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

­­­Anyway­s, please listen to me. That ­it­'s rea­lly relate­­d to th­is th­re­­­a­­d.­­­
I went­­ t­o Yo­shi­­­noya a ­whi­­le ago; yo­u know, ­Yoshin­oya?­­­­­­­­
Well anyway­­s there­ w­­­as an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. ­Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy­'s gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great ­­about this place.­

"What's going on?" Koakuma whispered to Patchouli.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" Koakuma whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at her with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at her.

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, moving his hands in a series of complex movements as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Patchouli muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, retrieving his wand and pointing at her with it.

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," Koakuma exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"