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/jp/ - Otaku Culture


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6475248 No.6475248 [Reply] [Original]

"Rumia-cha-aa-n... Nngh..," Mystia said breathlessly as Rumia used her teeth to tease the sensitive skin on her wing joints back and forth. Mystia's wings twitched with every nip and suck applied to them. She had only wanted Rumia to check for ruffled feathers back there, maybe fluff them up. Rumia pressed her face into Mystia's down, inhaling her scent and savoring the soft, warming feeling as her breath moistened the feathers. Little shivers ran up Mystia's back as her little friend stroked up and down her shoulder blades, pressing her fingers gently under her wing joints and massaged bare skin. Mystia gently rubbed her thighs together, trying to hide the sight of the spreading wetness on her pink laced panties.
Does Rumia:
[ ] Sex Mystia
[ ] Tease Mystia verbally
[ ] Tickle Mystia
[ ] Scream like a little girl
[ ] other

>> No.6475261
File: 8 KB, 400x370, aikido.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6475261

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

>> No.6475257

>>6475248
ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME WE HAD A CYOA ON THIS BOARD! THP CAN'T HOG ALL THE RIGHTS!

[x] Tickle Mystia
Eh. its cute.

NO RETARTDED WRITE INS

>> No.6475276

Everyday I look at /fit/ and laugh. They are so pathetic, wasting there time in a hot stinky gym lifting weights.

I just do Aikido and I look twice as aesthetic as the best looking /fit/ poster. I'm probably twice as strong too, strong enough to compete competitively as a strongman or Olympic lifter.

But I can actually use my strength to defend myself, I can probably take on four Brock Lesnars.

At once.

>> No.6475275

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>> No.6475285

Aikido spam is here. Shows over.

>> No.6475287

Have you ever been in love, OP?

I haven't. Not with another human being at least. After dedicating my mind and spirit to Aikido I haven't found much room for anything else.

Sure I've been on dates before with beautiful women, but whenever they find out that I am a student of the world's strongest martial art, the dinner always ends there. They sometimes even offer to pay, in fear of their lives.

>> No.6475290

Its lunch, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, got a delicious veal sandwich and was on my way back home. There was this thuggish "Nigga" style black dude, he was behind me, I stopped, because he was walking quite fast, and I didn't want to be in his way.
He comes up to me, and asked, “Do you have any money?”, I knew where he was going with this, so I said, “Yeah, but you’re not getting any of it.”, and I walked away. I suppose it’s in his blood, he was going to punch the back of my head but I quickly grabbed and threw him over my shoulder, he fell down and became unconscious. I checked if he had any drugs/money, found cocaine in his jacket and called the cops.
I guess it wasn’t really a fight since it lasted less than 10 seconds, it really shows how effective Aikido is in real life situations.
It feels good to help the police catch drug dealers/druggies.

>> No.6475295

I imagine Akido guy constantly scans /jp/, 24/7, ready to do his duty and spam threads he doesn't like.

[x] Tease Mystia verbally
[x] Tickle Mystia

>> No.6475296

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT im tired of your shit about aikido being a powerful martial art. its not even a fucking real martial art you fucking dumb weeaboo shit. all those fancy throws and submissions are the exact same bullshit you see in fake american wrestling shows. you use aikido in a fight against any real professional fighter you'll get your ass kicked. period. fucking stupid weeaboos

>> No.6475310

I know you guys are new here, but fanfiction is banned in this board. Yes, that includes CYOA.

http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/jp/thread/360493

>> No.6475307

Years ago, I was a Gap youkai, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I manipulated the boundary of life and death, he reversed it like I was a mere Rumia. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing Danmaku Bounded Field, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>> No.6475306

Have some love handles that you would love to get rid of?

There is a way. A quick way.

Aikido.

You will be down to 10% body fat by the forth month, while learning the most effective martial arts at the same time. I used to have fat around my stomach area, did Aikido, now my six pack can be seen by all the ladies.

Become fit and kick ass at the same time.

>> No.6475316

For real, what does an Aikido practitioner do against a trained wrestler?

The way I see it, if a wrestler is careful and gets into grab range he will have an advantage.
As far as I know Aikido isn't about throwing punches, and that's just great for a wrestler who's main objective is to get a superior position.

And if the wrestler would get into a superior position, then it would be over, all of wrestling is to get into the superior position and maintain it.
All of the wrestler's training would have gone into it, wheras the aikido practitioner wouldn't be trained for the same situations.

What would an aikido practitioner do?

>> No.6475317

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.

>> No.6475321
File: 38 KB, 963x540, 122818994152.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6475321

>>6475248
[ ] Post the lyrics of "Dirty Sexy Girl"

>> No.6475324

>>6475310
>fanfiction is banned in this board
Unless /jp/ likes it, of course.

>> No.6475325

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

>> No.6475328

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

>> No.6475330

>>6475328
My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

>> No.6475335

This one day, I decided to go to the mall to stare at all the preppy mall kids and make them question their own existence and perhaps even turn to Satan. But despite how totally kvlt I was being, everyone was ignoring me. So I went to that retched food court and sat down to contemplate the Burzum song stuck in my head.

And that's when your mother came up to me. Well, maybe not right away. I kind of stared at the back of her head for a very long time. She was dressed in this ridiculous pink dress and I assumed she was a happy person.

Then at some point, some dork with spiky yellow hair came over and talked to her for a while. She seemed to be enjoying herself, so I just stared harder. But then a few of his friends came over, and they all started laughing at her, and she started crying. I kept staring at her.

Later on, she turned around and noticed me staring. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and came over. She asked me who I was dressed as.

I laughed at her and told her that just because someone is dressed to reflect their inner cold dark soul, they are not "dressed as someone". But then I told her my corpsepaint was loosely modeled after Abbath.

She asked what show he was from.

I didn't understand the question.

>> No.6475343

Stan Lee was on top of her, his tongue in her mouth.

The small girl felt bile rising in her throat as his thick coffee breath seemed to choke her. She felt him swirling his tongue around her own, and desperately tried to pull away, but to no avail.

"Accelerator...don't fight me. I'll scald you right in your ass...well. I know I'll be scalding you with my willy, but after that..." Stan Lee whispered, breath hot in her ear. "Let's get you out of those clothes...I've got to discuss an X-Men and Yotsuba&! crossover with a good japanese friend of mine..."

Mugi couldn't move as she felt her top being slowly pulled off. Her burns ached horribly, and him straddling her like that wasn't helping...oh god, why her?!

The seconds seemed to last years as she was slowly stripped naked from the top up. Openly crying, her body was heaving with sobs.

"Oh, Accelerator...it's okay. I know it hurts, but soon enough you'll feel all better..." his tongue traced her ear, before suckling on the lobe gently. His hands were gently rubbing her sides, before going up to her chest.

"Wha-...my dear, when on earth did you get breasts?" the elderly man asked, confused. Mugi screamed in protest.

"I'm Mugi! Tsumugi Akiyama! I play the keyboard! I'm in a band! I'm in love with Mio-" a hand down her pants. He gently stroked her pubic hair, before beginning to rub her slit.

>> No.6475339

Mugi awoke in a small room. This was not home. There were no keyboards. No Afternoon Tea Times. She was cold and alone. Terrified, she attempted to get to her feet, before realizing she was chained by her ankle to the wall, and she was in a strange set of clothes. A hand going to her head, she also realized that her hair had been cut short. Tears forming in her eyes, she felt a sickening fear in her stomach. The door suddenly opened, bringing with it an overwhelming stench of brewed coffee.

"...Is my darling Accelerator awake?" Stan Lee asked, standing in the doorway.

"A-Accelerator...?" Mugi asked, confused. "I...my name is Mu-" she screamed. Stan Lee, in an instant, had thrown a cup of something scalding hot onto her. It had gotten all over her thighs and forearms...coffee. She wasn't surprised. Tears freely falling, she struggled to get up once more, chain clinking in resistance.

"Accelerator, you know I don't like it when you struggle!" the man shouted, pain audible in his voice. "...don't be upset. I'll make it all better. I'll get Joey to make me some more coffee after we're finished..." he said, facial features contorted in a manic smile.

Mugi felt a sickening fear in the pit of her stomach. What did he mean by that...? "Please, you have the wrong person! Who am I dressed up as!? My ha-"

>> No.6475350

A low moan escaped her, just barely. "St-Stan Lee..." she whispered, trying to fight her natural urges.

"...Yes, Accelerator?" he asked, crazed passion in his eyes. His erection was creating quite the bulge in his pants, and it was clear the comic writer was packing heat.

'No!' she thought to herself, before catching a faint glimpse of herself reflected in his glasses. Oh...oh god. She was...she was dressed up like this...Accelerator thing! What was an accelerator anyways? A car part? Why would a car dress like this?!

"Get off me!" she yelled, slapping at his face and neck.

"Shut the fuck up, Accelerator! I've spent thousands of dollars trying to find you, and you're going to love me whether you like it or not!" he yelled back, tears in his eyes. He wasn't even making sense...a single finger slid inside of her.

"St-Stan! Stop it now!" she said, cheeks growing hot as he began to suck on her collarbone. Mugi couldn't enjoy this...not with this man. Not as some 'accelerator'...she continued to sob as he pulled her pants and underwear down to her ankles.

"Oh, how I've been waiting..." he moaned, unzipping his pants.

>> No.6475355

He was...he was going to have sex with her. Mugi knew it was going to happen, and she only began to sob harder as the man took his shirt off. "I'll make you feel...incredible." he said, removing his finger from her vaginal orfice.

She shut her eyes tightly, hoping to god this was a nightmare...her eyes snapped open as his finger began poking at her anus. "Nooo!" she shouted, flailing as best she could. She tried to push him off, desperately, her burns absolutely screaming with pain.

"Shh...shhh..." he cooed, before another figure entered the room.

"Ah, Joey!" he exclaimed, grabbing the fresh, steaming cup of coffee from the boy's hands. He was missing his fingernails.

Taking a swig, he used his free hand to slowly probe Mugi's tight ass, getting it in to the knuckle. She was in utter agony.

"Oh...we'll need some lube, won't we..." Stan said, thinking for a minute. "I didn't have any prepa..." he trailed off, looking at his half empty cup of coffee. Mugi's eyebrows raised in absolute terror.

"It'll only sting for a moment..." he muttered, removing his finger from her anus. Placing it and another finger into the steaming coffee, he winced a little at the heat. "This'll let me slide into your fine ass just fine..."

>> No.6475360

Two fingers slid into her so quickly it was like someone had fired a bullet straight into her butthole. "Fuwaaaaa!" she screamed, frantically trying to crawl backwards to get his elderly fingers out of her anus. It was so hot...and two fingers was painful enough already...his entire dick would absolutely kill her!

"P-please stop..." she cried out, as he fingerfucked her whimpering ass.

"Accel, listen...I need you. I love you more than anything I've created. I love you more than coffee. More than the moon, the sky, the earth...more than Spiderman and the X-Men. You're the only one for me." as Stan Lee placed a gentle kiss on her lips, Mugi found herself unable to fight back...

Stan Lee lowered himself, gently grasping her reddened thighs and placing them on his shoulders. "You ready, darling?"

Without thinking, she nodded.

He poured more of the coffee on his raging boner, moaning as it audibly scalded his tender dick flesh. A split second later, he slowly prodded the tip into her ass, moaning out Accelerator's name as he fit half his cock inside.

>> No.6475369

"A-Ah...Stan..." Mugi moaned out, as she felt him begin to play with her breasts, gently squeezing her nipples. "Ah...Stan...let me be your Accelerator!" she shouted, hands grabbing the sides of his face, pulling him closer. She licked at his lips like a wild animal until he responded with his own tongue. They entered a small tongue war, until their lips finally connected in a deep, wet kiss.

Stan Lee slowly eased the rest of himself into her, and slowly started pumping his hips. "Accelerator, you're so god damned tight...ahhh...my balls are racing to the heavens..." he cried, breaking away from their kiss for a minute. Mugi began to kiss his adam's apple, and sucked on his neck. "Fuck me, Stan Lee. Fuck me like you've never fucked a japanese high school girl before..."

"I didn't know you were in high school, Accelerator!" he said, astonished, as he started thrusting harder, voice swarthy and filled with lust.

"I-I am!" Mugi replied, before kissing him once more.

There was no longer a need for words. They kissed endlessly, deep at first, then butterfly kisses, then deep once more.

Stan Lee was absolutely ramming her ass now, balls slapping against her ass audibly. It only aroused her more. Her pussy juices trickled down to her ass, providing further lubrication as it mixed with the coffee.

He felt as if he were fucking something sent by god, made of pure ecstasy, molded for his cock and his cock only...like one of those flashlight vaginas, only it was his most beloved Accelerator.

>> No.6475373

"Faster!" she moaned between kisses. "So hard...need...you...ahh!" Mugi had just experienced her first orgasm not brought on by masturbation. It started in her abdomen, like a sickening sticky heat rising up through her whole body, sending a tidal wave of ecstasy through her brain. Only Stan Lee could make her feel like this...she knew it.

"Anything...ahh...anything for you, Acc...Accel!" Stan Lee shouted, his body dripping with sweat, as was Mugi's.

Realizing she was the only one who'd come so far, she clenched her anus at precisely timed intervals, the inner walls of her poop tube grasping as his cock.

"Ahhh...Accelerator...you feel so gooood!" Stan Lee shouted, pumping so fast his heart was beating out of control...his blood pressure skyrocketed. Stan Lee couldn't feel his left arm, but ignored it.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able too Accelerate for a week!" the man shouted.

"Fuck me, Stan! Fuck meee!" Mugi felt his dick grow hotter...he was going to...!

"Come inside me, Stan Lee! Come right in my quivering anus!"

"It's fuwa fuwa time!" the man shouted, thrusting so hard he felt as if he'd just hit her tonsils. His sweet seed exploded from his tip, filling up her ass.

>> No.6475378

"I...my heart..."

"...Stan?!" Mugi whimpered, hand going to stroke his cheek. "Stan!? Are you...Stan!" Mugi sat up, letting his head rest on her small breasts.

He barely managed to pull out of her, his semen mixed with the coffee now dripping out of her onto the floor.

"...Acceler...ator...I...I love you... HHNNNNGHHHHH" Stan Lee had just experienced a heart attack. He lost consciousness in his sweetheart's arms, as she rocked him back and forth, openly weeping for the man who had only loved Accelerator.

"Stan...oh Stan..." Mugi whispered, gently stroking his hair. She sobbed. "I'm glad...I could make your final moments happy..." She took the cup of coffee...mere drops left. Tilting the cup to get those last drops, she held the liquid in her mouth...it was barely lukewarm.

She kissed him, gently prying open his lips with her tongue, letting the small bit of liquid flow into his mouth.

"...Goodnight, sweet prince." she whispered in his ear, embracing him, before slowly humming Fuwa Fuwa Time to his motionless body.

>> No.6475406
File: 375 KB, 1400x1264, 63ace94a48ef17d2043340425cd13bee.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6475406

lol, spam
Rumia lifted Mystia's arms, exposing her soft, hairless armpits. She dragged her sharp claws over the skin gently, goosebumps immediately springing up as soon as she made contact with a patch of skin. Mystia wriggled around, stifling pained giggles as Rumia drummed on her skin with her nails. Mystia's nipples flushed and hardened, Rumia didn't overlook this. She slid her hands to cup Mystia's small breasts. She rolled them around in her hands, then squeezed those little red nipples gently. Mystia jumped in Rumia's lap, a choked moan drawn out of her as Rumia tweaked her nipples back and forth, sending shivers up and down her spine. "Oooohhh... Don't pinch them! Aa-ah..." Mystia's wings lowered down, her feathers stood up on end, Rumia once again buried her face into the softly scented feathers, pressing them apart, licking the pale skin underneath, savoring the oils and taste of her lover. She quickly nipped at a piece of skin, drawing a drop of blood, scooping it up with her tongue. The taste was fantastic..
Does Rumia:
[ ] Fuck the hell out of Mystia
[ ] Go freakin' insane and eat out Mystia in more ways than one
[ ] Scream like a little girl
[ ] other
If anyone gets the song reference here, you get a guaranteed suggestion acceptance.

>> No.6475411

>>6475406
I lay hidden in a crater about 15 meters away from the Moon King. His guards are no where insight, so I seize the opportunity by dashing foward at speed only known to the cheetahs. I swiftlly pull out my hidden blade which is the same kitchen knife my father used to murder my mother when I was 8, he proceded to give me this knife as if it were some family heirloom. Which I obviously kept for that was the only father son moment I had with him before he went to prison. Anyways with the kitchen knife quickly at the throat of the Moon King, I begin cutting at it very slowly as I show him his printed post history. Seein his life flash before his very eyes. As he bleeds out I use the remainder of the time to give him omega wedgies and when he dies he poops two turds out, but since I gave him such great wedgies it was like he was wearing a thong so when he pooped his turds split in half so it looked like he pooped four turds in total. I then update my facebook to "I'm the new moon king" and fart while doing it because its microblogging.

such a muderous era of kings and queens.

>> No.6475413

christ what is this?

rule 34! rule 34! get some proper porn in this thread!

anyway i was playing the game and i first saw this loli when her dad went into his home and i went in with him (otherwise the door is locked and i didnt have much lockpick). i was surprised to see a child sleeping in the game, the first one i had seen since the beginning of the game! and im afraid to say my dick got hard. she layed there sleeping on the bunk bed and her father had locked the heavy steel door to the room in the ship sealing us three in there. and i had heavy armor and a chinese assault rifle. i tried waking her up and talking to her, but she said she werent allowed to talk to strangers and went back to sleep. aww. <3 i turned to her father and took his life quietly without waking her up. now she was in there all alone with me. i gently shook her shoulder, "wake up honey". she turned and saw the remaints of her father, with a stunned look in her eyes. quickly i put my hands over her soft lips before she could make a sound that would reach outside the thick walls. i checked my inventory, indeed i had a ballgag in there. her eyes quickly went from her father to my eyes as she struggeled to get loose from my grip fruitlessly. i tightened my grip and whispered, "now you be quiet or you'll end up like your father". the pixeled tears ran down her cheek, bethesda really made them look good. i used the ballgag on her, now she could try to scream all she wanted. it was made for adults so it doesn't look too comfortable but that doesn't matter.

>> No.6475421

she pushed her back upwards from the pain. i felt the tears running through her hair and onto my hand, but that was okay. i worked her fast, adding another finger, then another... i stopped, allowing her to catch her breath a little. she tried throwing her head back and forth but my hand stopped her from moving much. there was blood between her legs and she was shaking all over. then i remembered i hadn't checked if there was any interactivity with her ass, and indeed there was. unfortunately i had sold the dildos i had found earlier in the game but luckily they hade made it so that you could use pretty much anything in there. i used a motorcycle handle on her ass, her eyes went back, almost looked like she had only white as eyes lol. placed a pilot light in her cunt, and believe it or not but there was an option to hit her clit so hard that the pilot lite would break! i didn't do that though, i did play a little with her almost-hidden clit though using some scrap metal. the sound effects were amazing, the kid they got to do her voice did a heck of a job, the muffled screams of "STOP STOP! PLEASE!" - very realistic. well enough play, i flipped her over on her stomach, she placed her head in her armes and continued to sob into them. i gave her a hard smack on the ass and told her to get up on all fours. she didnt do it so i gave her another one a little harder. she made an effort to get up so i smacked her again. she struggled to get on all four while i continued to beat the shit out of her ass over and over again. had to use two stimpaks on her unless i wanted her to die. eventually she made it to a doggy position, god it was a beautiful scene wish I had taken a screenshot. she was glowing red on her butt and also in her face. she was very warm i could tell.

>> No.6475417

i bent her over my lap, pushed her down as she struggled. with one hand holding her arms tightly behind her back, and the other giving her the beating of her lifetime i watched as her beautiful freckled face turned red and the tears started forming a small pool on the floor. enough is enough, i layed her on her back and started tearing of her clothes. she tried desperatly to hold on to her clothes so i started slapping her face, again and again. i used up two full rounds of action points just on slaps (and i have the action boy perk and 9 in agility). after that she didnt resist no more. I moved all her clothes to my inventory, they could be useful in repairing my power armor later on. i stroke the back of my hand down from her throat to her legs, which she had crossed. she shivered and made all kinds of wonderful noices as i passed her nipple. i bent down and licked the place where one day many years from now there would be full breasts. she lift her head up, with panic in her eyes. she started struggeling again. not stopping licking i simply used my left hand on her throat, shutting off her air for a couple of seconds. she seemed to get my point and calmed down a little. i grasped her hair tight with my right arm holding her head down against the bed. she shut her eyes hard for a while from the pain, the poor angel must be sensitive in her hair. i moved my left arm, still licking her body, to her legs and separated them. she started making different noices from before, a little more high-pitched and almost pleading. maybe she anticipated what was about to happen. i jammed a finger into her tight pussy, opening it for the first time. the sound effect for that wasn't 100% accuret but it was pretty acceptable.

>> No.6475425

she didnt look at me, her head was turned downwards like she was looking at her hand that was closest to the wall. i grabbed her head and forced her to look straight in my eyes. i whispered, "you are doing so well, it's almost over. i love you. dont you love me?". the way i looked her mustve made her realize that if she did not respond to that there would be nothing good to follow. she nodded slightly and looked up at me with her puppy eyes. i kissed her forhead. she closed her eyes, tears still flooding out. using my tongue i foced her eyelid open and licked her eyes. she paniced and tried to retract but i held her head too hard. she put her arms on my biceps. i pretended that she only wanted to hug, so i hugged her for a while. "you just want to be held isn't that it? you just want someone to love you." a moment of silence only broken by muffled sobs followed. then i threw her face down on the bed, continuing to push her upper back down with my right arm as i repositioned myself behind her raised behind (hehe). it was a little hard to fit back there, but it's a game so it worked fine. i rammed my cock in her tight little honey-pot, opening her red strained eyes wide. my in-game cock, like my irl one, is long and thick; luckily i used CHR as a dump stat in the beginning so i could spend a lot of points on DCK.

>> No.6475430

i jumped right to it, moving in and out as fast as i could. she seemed to be in a lot of pain. i used a lot of drugs ("chems") to increase my performence: buffout, jet, med-x. i stuffed my little play thing full of mentats too, so she would be more aware of whats happening and all the feelings rushing through her head. then i was really glad i had gagged her, without supression those screams would have been heard through a lot of walls. i pulled her head up using her hair, forcing her to take the doggie position again. my left hand had a hard grip of her left butt cheek, the shaders did a good job telling me just how extremely hard I was gripping her ass. A nice feature, as i was going i could control my left thumb somewhat freely and managed to stick it in her ass so i could play with that too. eventually my LCK ran out and i came buckets inside her, some of it dripping out onto the bed, some of it going down her leg. i let go and light up a smoke. she fell over on the side, turning over in pain putting her hands over her croch as she took on the fetus position. i chuckled a little and kissed her on the shoulder. i sat down beside her dead father leaned against the wall at the opposite end of the room, just looking at her small bodie for a while. Even now after i came i still thought she looked good, i still wanted to play more. i got up and took her left arm and lifted her up, almost making her hang in the air with her feet barely touching the floor.

>> No.6475433

she had no strength to support herself right now. with my other arm i lifted her chin and looked her straight in the eye, "if you make any noice at all i'm going to kill everyone on this ship and then burn you alive, you got that?!". she became silent, only breathing heavily. "well??", i asked again. she nodded. I took off the ballgag, keeping it in my inventory until the next time i had need for it. i let her go, her knees hit the floor hard as she fell down like a pile of ropes dropped from height. she must be low on hit points by now. no matter. she slowly looked up at me, her lips shaking. she opened her mouth like she was going to say something but it appeared as if the words just couldnt come out. she breathed havily. i pointed at my cumsoaked dick, "you are going to clean this mess you did". some blood were there too. she didn't want to of course but had little choice, she started licking my limb dick. as she went on, it quickly became hard again. this surprised her a little, she looked at me then quickly went on her business. i layed down on the floor with her ontop of me, i bet it must be cold in this steel room if you're naked like her. i instructed her to stop simply licking and start sucking. she did it the way you would expect a girl in her age to do it. another beautiful scene formed with light reflecting her tears streaming down her chins then onto my dick, before meeting her lips again as she came down on my shaft again - and again. i grew tired of her wimpy ways and put my both hands on the back of her head and pushed her head down. surprised she moved her hands a little, but by now she had learned not to anger me. i jammed my cock down her throat faster and faster, making it hard for her to breathe. she gagged a little but didnt throw up. lucky for her. thrusting, thrusting, harder and further until finally... i pressed her against my stomach, bending her nose sideways.

>> No.6475434

>>6475406
[x] Bite Mystia arounf the neck and nipples enought to draw a little bit of blood watch as if flows down her petite body with a seductive smile proceed to lick/suck it better and work your way down to the vaginal area the neat mystia out.
[x] Ask mystia to take off your ribbon (no i am not bad ending this but in some fanon EX rumia ages when this happens so lets have some mature on loli that and rumia can use her abilitys to add to the moment like making the shadows fondle mystias as she is eaten out.)

>> No.6475437

her arms were going all over the place as i pumped my silver flow into her person. there were so much quite much even came back out through her nose! her legs started twitching too, it was clear she was suffocating. i finally finished, looked up at the roof and relaxed a little. that was great. then i pulled out, she fell over on the side coughing and coughing. if i didnt know better i would say she cough up all the sperm but that would have been impossible. she had probably gotten a third of my load in her lungs, haha she looked so silly. but that coughing could become quite loud so i silenced her by placing my hand over her mouth. she continued to cough through her nose for a while. after a while when it looked like she had gotten most of her airway free i let her go. "you naughty little girl, you made me dirty again!". She looked terrified. "but.. but...". she started crying into her hands. "there there", I said. "now you must clean up the mess in here". "what do you mean?" she whispered with what little voice she could muster from her sore throat. i grabbed her face and shoved it into the blood-cum mixtured puddle on the bed. "this of course you little bitch! trying to sneak youself out of your work huh?". "n-no, i-i.." i repeated what she had just stuttered with disgust in my tone. "get to it missy!" She started licking the puddle up. Half-way through she threw up. "Oh now you've done it!" I thrashed her around, making sure she remembered to not scream while I did it. When I grew bored of it I made her eat what was left of the puddle, including what she had vomited up. And of couse she had to clean the floor too where we had made love.

>> No.6475442

Looked like the area closest to her father's corpse was the hardest to clean, wonder why? :) After she was done i had her try out some jet. Well, not some - a lot! i had over 100 in my inventory, she had to keep going until I noticed she had gotten addicted. then i simply used my doctor skill on her to remove the effects of the jet, but not the addiction, and watched her having her withdrawals. She looked like she wanted to die. I played with her for a few hours more and then i noticed that it was almost time for the ship to start waking up. Looks like it was time to grant her wish of death. I cleaned myself off with purified water and zipped up. I grabbed my chinese assault rifle and aimed at her. although there was much scare and pain in here eyes I was uncertain if she knew exactly what was going on anymore? she really looked filthy. "you disgust me, look at yourself" i said. "there is no way of fixing you now is there?". I smiled and enabled my VATS. one quick burst to the head will be enough, i crit on almost every shot anyway and always make the head fall off. i would be out of and war away from the room before anyone could figure out that i was the one that pulled the trigger. i shot. i hit. "I'm getting out of here!" she started shouting. "What the hell?", I thought to myself. she now ran back and forth in the room with her hands above her head. she couldn't get out because i hadn't unlocked the door with her father's key yet. i must've missed, i went into VATS mode again and shot two bursts, one in her head and the other in her little body. i know i hit! "I'm getting out of here!" she repeatadly taunted me. screw the VATS, i went free-hand and emptied two clips in her -- she still runs around like an idiot!

>> No.6475450

i cant even interact with her anymore! i mined the whole floor, she just walked over them without setting them off! i heared there were now people outside that wanted in. screw it, i positioned myself in the opening of the door, opened it and swiftly ran out. she followed, ran fast to the end of the corridor and disappeared around a corner. a whole bunch of angry adults, seemed like the whole ship, was path-bound to the now unlocked room and all ran into it like lemmings setting off the mines, dropping like leafs a cold winter night. wtf is wrong with the AI? the whole ship is dead, now i have to reload! god damn it Bethesda you have extremely detailed and well-made child rape scenes but you won't let me kill even a single one of them?? FUCK THIS GAME!

>> No.6475451

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

>> No.6475455

>>6475248
>>6475406
When i get the resourses again i will turn this into a 3d custom girl comic.
IT IS THAT GOOD.

>> No.6475457

Fedora Air: You fly for free in an experimental jet with parts being manufactured by a large corporation. Not everything works properly and sometimes your chair will break. The corporate backer doesn't really care since you aren't a paying cutomer.

Debian Air: It's a smooth flight on an old plane. You've got the option of having a basic chair right away or building it yourself. You've got the choice of an attractive stewardess that will offer you suggestions, or a plain stewardess that will do what you say quickly, while reminding you of things you need. It doesn't work on new routes and airports, but it's got a wide array of destinations that many other airlines don't bother with.

>> No.6475456

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/upgrade/4243994.html?page=3

>MythBusters: 7 Tech Headaches—and How to Fix Them Innovation is meant to make life easier. So why is this TV geek so annoyed? (Click here for more PM stories by the MythBusters, and watch brand-new episodes starting Jan. 16!)
>By Jamie Hyneman

>In the tech world this phenomenon is known as “software bloat” or “feature bloat.” It's a well-documented problem and a frequent complaint about Windows OSs—Vista in particular. In addition to being buggy, the extra features tend to bog down your system by demanding more processing power and memory. Computer-makers: Don't load up operating systems with features and then make us sweat to figure out how to get rid of the fat.

>Most features can be set up as options. Why not start with a computer loaded with basic stuff that works 100 percent of the time? Then, give us the option of adding the bells and whistles. There's another solution available to consumers: Switch to a Linux-based OS such as Ubuntu. Since most Linux OSs are free, there's no business reason to bloat up the system with feature frills.

Myth: Fags Got Told
Status: Confirmed

>> No.6475459

>>6475455
Why, thank you sir. Still waiting for suggestions.

>> No.6475465

Do you need CP?
Do you need to download everything as fast as possible for some unexplainable reason?
Do you have a shitty ISP that forcibly rapes you for exceeding bandwidth usage?
Are you paranoid and delusional?
Do you want people to think you are a hacker?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, usenet is for you. otherwise just use torrents.

>> No.6475466
File: 43 KB, 174x157, 1273613259858.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6475466

How do you avoid the flood detector dear spammer?

>> No.6475463

Ubuntu Air: Uses the newer planes with a new paint job from Debian Air, which still experience a bit of turbulence. It's the busiest airport and is funded by a millionaire who used to work at Debian Air. You have a choice of an ditsy blond stewardess who just brings you what you ask for, or stewardesses just like Debian air had, but there are a lot more annoying teenagers on board.

Slackware Air: Gives you a nice, comfortable seat, but there's not a full time stewardess and she makes you get all of the parts yourself if you want to make changes. Doesn't utilize the turbo jets on newer airplanes, but it's fast enough that most passengers don't complain.

Arch Air: Gives you a pile of parts and a stewardess to help you sort through them. Also, has a thick manual for any questions you have. Any time you want, you can update your seat to use the newest parts.

Gentoo Air: You are given a given a block of metal, an even thicker manual, and a blowtorch.

Mint Air: Similar to Ubuntu Air but the aircraft is styled differently. Also halfway through the flight a group of terrorist hijacks the plane and screams "ALLAH ACKBAR!" and demands the flight be diverted to Palestine. A struggle ensues between an undercover air marshal and one of the hijackers who happens to have a bomb strapped to his body. The bomb goes off accidentally, tearing the jet in half and suddenly you find yourself tumbling through the air. You wake up suddenly from your nightmare, realizing you're safe and sound on an Ubuntu Air flight. The stewardess serves you green tea and mints, winking.

>> No.6475467

Installing GNU/Linux won't solve your computer woes. It's not going to magically remove the anguish of being a non-technical person in a technical world.

Although neckbeards give the impression that GNU/Linux "just works," it's not quite as simple as that. You'll still experience incompatibility and those irritating nuances associated with all forms of desktop computing.

What you won't experience, however, is a lack of attention to details with the user in mind.

If you're switching to a GNU/Linux solely because you're ticked off with Windows, no desktop environment will please you.

However, if you're willing to make a change that will first be bumpy, but will eventually pay off in terms of overall satisfaction and enlightenment while computing, then you're ready for GNU/Linux. You can even use your existing computer without having to buy additional hardware.

You have to be willing to change your entire perception of how desktop computing should be.

>> No.6475468

I go to the store just to organize the shelves.
Always the grocery store, they are way more fun and in my opinion more "strictly" laid out so it's easier to work in groups if that's what you want to do. it's just fun and i suppose i'm doing people a tiny little service by doing it and that's cool too. this is literally what i do instead of play video games

my favorite aisle is breakfast, the whole thing with the hot and breakfast cereals and the poptarts and oatmeal. it's the most colorful aisle and it's easy and fun to stack and look at things. second favorite is either the other boxed good heavy aisle where they keep the hamburger helper and stuff or the sauces section with ketchup bbq etc. juice aisle is colorful but usually doesn't need much reorganization and most of the items are really heavy

i don't think any of the employees have noticed i do it semi-regularly, but i do get thanked often when they notice me moving things.

>> No.6475472

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

>> No.6475473

JESUS TITTYFUCKING CRACK SMOKING CHRIST ON A MOPED WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THIS SAVED?!

SERIOSULY WHAT KIND OF PERSON SEEKS OUT, DOWNLOADS, SAVES AND REPOSTS AN IMAGE, AN ANIMATED IMAGE, OF A DEER FUCKING A CRYING SCHOOLGIRL?!

LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE BIZZARE FETISHES AND WEIRD SHIT THAT TURNS PEOPLE ON, AND YOU KNOW I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT, I JUST DON'T LOOK AT IT. BUT THIS.
FUCKING THIS.

THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO SAVE THIS...THING, AND THEN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTED TO SEE IT JSUT BOGGLES MY MOTHERFUCKING MIND. WHAT TYPE OF A PERSONA RE YOU? SERIOUSLY. DO YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELF OR DO YOU ACT LIKE A CREEPY FUCK IN PUBLIC TOO?! DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS AT ALL? I SURE AS FUCK HOPE NOT.

AND THE WORST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THAT IN ABOUT 30 POSTS THIS WILL MORPH INTO A LUCKY STAR PORN THREAD WITH ALMOST A HUNDRED IMAGES OF SIMILAR SITUATIONS DEPICTING CHILDREN BEING HORRIBLY MOLESTED THAT NEARLY A HUNDRED PEOPLE ALL HAVE SAVED TO THEIR HARD DRIVES TO JACK OFF OVER AS THE HELPLESS LITTLE GIRL SQUIRMS IN PANIC ON THEIR SCREEN FOR THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT.

JUST WHAT THE FUCK. I KNOW THIS IS HOW THE INTERNET WORKS BUT
WHAT
THE
FUCK

TOO MUCH. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

>> No.6475477

Okay listen you fuckwit, I'm tired of seeing your shitpost all the time.
FIrst off, you fucking twerp, it's konnichiwa, not Gomenasai.
KO NI CHI FUCKING WA. Gomenasai means sorry.
Second, you're a fucking retard for thinking japanese games are superior in any kind. They're as good and bas as american ones. I also bet your drawings look like shit.
Now, you fucking faggot, let me teach you something about swords.
The best thing your glorious Katana can cut through is a bamboo straw, and NOT FUCKING STEEL. LEARN THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE.And it's folded about 10 times, for a total 800 kayers at fucking most. Nobody's gonna sit 5 years in his room and polish a rod, exept you maybe because you can't get any pussy.
Now, you're telling me that you know stuff about japanese history. HA HA FUCKING HA FAGGOT. You couldn'T even get a proper Kana if your life depended on it, not like it's worth anything. No fucking one wears a goddamn Kimono in the streets, you retarded fuckwit.
Go on, move to Japan, get laughed at by fucking everyone, I might just fly with you to have a seat in the front row when your spirit is shattered to a thousand bits. No one is gonna like an acne-ridden wannabe-japanese who doesn't know shit about the culture he so disgustingly admires.

Now, kindly fuck off and die, you scum of the earth.

>> No.6475478

She began to kiss me through the cloth. Her left hand reached up behind me and slipped in through my left leg hole.

Frost and winter return to my eyes
The call of the wintermoon

I was beginning to have trouble concentrating.

The call of... the call of the wintermoon

She pushed me backwards onto the bed, and began to climb up on top of me.

Nocturnal clouds blows freely in the distance
In the grey mist of deaths horizon

She pulled my shirt up over my head, rubbing her body along the length of mine.

My winterwings of evil sleeps
In deaths cold crypts of snow

She bit my ear. I hesitated for a moment. "Keep singing", she said.

Buried beneath the mountains of frost
Years of silent sorrow grim and dark

By this point, we were both completely naked. I couldn't recall how this had happened.

Into eternal nights
Hearing the call of the wintermoon

Suddenly the door swung open and some girl in a white shirt and black mini skirt and suspenders and another in a green top and short shorts burst in, talking and laughing. My girl screamed and fell off the bed.

Hearing the call of the wintermoon

the call of the wintermoon...
And that's how Curry was born

>> No.6475489

I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH PUSSY.

>> No.6475490

Catch the girl with a net spread up in the forest canopy. Take her alive. Take her home. Poke out her eyes and put her in a small cage. Force-feed her oats and millet and figs until she has swollen to four times her normal size. Drown her in brandy. Roast her whole, in an oven at high heat, for six to eight minutes. Bring her to the table. Place a cloth—a napkin will do—over my head to hide my cruelty from the sight of God. Put the whole girl into my mouth, with only the beak protruding from my lips. Bite. Put the beak on my plate and begin chewing, gently. I will taste three things: First, the sweetness of the flesh and fat. This is God. Then, the bitterness of the guts will begin to overwhelm me. This is the suffering of Jesus. Finally, as my teeth break the small, delicate bones and they begin to lacerate my gums, I will taste the salt of my own blood, mingling with the richness of the fat and the bitterness of the organs. This is the Holy Spirit, the mystery of the Trinity—three united as one. It is cruel. And beautiful

>> No.6475498

i have been hacking seince i was 7 (im 13 now) my parents supported it, and it has helped many people, i have helped add security to sites by testing security, and there is a whole group of hackers im a part of at hackthissite.org hackers arnt bad, those are "crakers" who are mindless morons, you sir are the idiot, you trust the media, you didnt research you are the bad one. i have hacked many things but, for good. are you saying a site about killing people becuse of there race and supports it should stay up?? is that better than hacking?? i have hacked a site like that and shut it down. think im bad? F*ck you!!
i have broken some laws but, for good reasons, the government makes you think hacking is bad because the govrnment fears us, but us hackers dont fear them, so the government uses people whot think there hackers and shows them on tv then, people think thats what a hacker is. hacker acually means "one who is experienced in computers and problem solving" i think i have done good, and that i dont hack like black hats who are morons (pretty much "crackers") i hope i will change your opinion.

>> No.6475499
File: 183 KB, 480x601, 1235808748264.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6475499

I understand the rationale behind the spam, but it makes me a little sad. Couldn't we have used Rumia + Mystia pictures instead?

>> No.6475500

IF U WERE FLAMED FOR USING LISP TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR SUICIDE CUZ ID B N DAT CUNTS HOUSE N SHOVE SICP DOWN HIS THROAT!
//`'''```,
o // LISP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co
WE TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIES
WE READ SICP TOGETHER
WE COUNT PARENTHESES TOGETHER
send this SUAVE SPACE TOAD to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6001 your A TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIE

>> No.6475502
File: 30 KB, 1218x737, akido.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6475502

Fuck off this board akido

you infinigger.

Thats it. there is nothing else to say to you you are so bad that only using a rasict term can described my hatred for you.

Get out of /jp/
no wait better.
get out of 4chan.

We need a mod perma ban this prick.

>> No.6475507

Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Opening up the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued smiling as usual. The Sussman raised his wand and pointed it directly at the ceiling, not taking his eyes off Asakura. The wand released a wave of glowing white parentheses and the space around The Sussman began to distort.

"It's time for some ENTERPRISE QUALITY!" Asakura cheerfully cried as she conjured the spirits of the JVM, producing a flood of boiling-hot coffee that rushed its way towards The Sussman, who stood motionless, parentheses continuing to issue from his wand like electromagnetic radiation.
"You think your turkey solutions can stop me?" The Sussman said calmly before lowering his wand, forming the pool of parentheses now gathered around him into a sharp pointed cone aimed at Asakura. Suddenly he shouted "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISP!" and the parentheses shot forward into the waves of coffee, pushing the boiling hot liquid back towards where it came.

"Nooooooo....." her cries became weaker as she became engulfed in the dark brown liquid. Everything turned black and I felt as though I had fainted. I awoke to a familiar voice.

"...before we do that for the next couple of lectures we're gonna be talking about..."

I opened my eyes and raised my head to find myself seated in a lecture theater. I glanced at the clock and found that I had missed most of the lecture. "Damnit! I was looking forward to the first lecture of the last semester of 6.001!" I thought to myself.

>> No.6475509

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

>> No.6475513

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Azaka-chan and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ brothers <3 and my fav is nis-san!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband mikiya!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN TABOO IN PERSON!!! Supa taboo desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^ When I walked into the room =^____^=I looked up and saw…MIKIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333!!!! “NII-SAN I'M HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a cafe o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE HAAGEN DAAZ!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw Shiki, that baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO SHIKI I'M NOT DISTURBED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVE MY OWN BROTHER WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH FUJINO CAUSE NII-SAN LOVES ME!!! (o_o)” then mikiya held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became retarded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!!*^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*(^o^)(^o^)(^o^)

>> No.6475518

Omg hai ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @_____@ Touhou<3 and my fav chara is Flandre!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu flandre!! <333333333 OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked into Scarlet Devil Mansion =^____^=I looked up and saw…FLANDRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII FLANDRE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then she turned chibi then un-chibi!!
she looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then she saw how hot I am *___* she grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a yakitori stand o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE BLOOD!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat *%%!@ watching us and I could tell she was undressing her with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY GIRL WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH YUKA CAUSE FLANDRE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! ” then flandre held me close =^____^= and said she would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to her basement and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became vampires!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

>> No.6475521

I am a computer programmer, which means I'm fat, nerdy, and have a tiny cock. I got AIDS from paying a cheap whore to fuck me, since I have no love in my life.
When the doctor told me, I went to the only thing I knew -- SICP.
I slammed my penis between two copies of SICP. It swelled up to twice normal size and fell off. I was worried.
I woke up the next day with incredible abs, a 14" rod of steel, and no HIV. I'm now an adult movie star, banging porn stars.
Thank you, SICP!

>> No.6475524

Omg hai ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is touhuo!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband rinnosuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked into Kourindou =^____^=I looked up and saw…RINNOSUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII RINNOSUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!
he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a yakitori stand o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE ANTIQUES!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat *%%!@ watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH YOUKI CAUSE RINNOSUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! ” then rinnosuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became youkais!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

>> No.6475527

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

>> No.6475528

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

>> No.6475530

VIDEO OH SO RELATED.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIqRxBtNrFs&feature=related

>> No.6475543
File: 54 KB, 600x450, deletedautism3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6475543

>>6475502
After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

>> No.6475545

I hate every touhou you like, that's how I roll,
I post Korea everywhere, that's how I troll.
Another 3D thread, that's why I sage,
Some fag's shitty /b/ thread, that's why I rage.

"Japan haet gaijin", that's how I post,
I know fucking Japanese, that's why I boast,
Someone posted futa, that's why I hurl,
I browse /jp/ everyday, that's why I can't get a girl.

I'm gonna shitstorm your thread, until you go and cry
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
You asked for kanji advice, and I told you to go die
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
A hundred posts in your thread, and not a single good reply
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
But I'm back on /jp/ again, and I still have no idea why
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY

>> No.6475550

I fucking love you copy/pasta Spammer-kun

>> No.6475556

Today's lesson: The true power of Shirou Emiya.

You see, Shirou isn't your average protagonist with one trump card that appears out of nowhere. He is a seasoned fighter, who fights and dies throughout time for his ideal. He has seven different paths he takes. They are:

Archer: Fighting for his friends and the innocent. Ends up as a janitor of sorts to clean out the filth of the world, without glory or any form of gratitude from those he saves. Dies as a scapegoat.

Berserker: Shirou fights for the ideal until Ilya betrays him. She uses his life force to survive past her eminent death, and then leaves him for dead. He is saved by a traveling swordsman who he eventually fights Rin and Ilya against. The entire concept of the battle, fighting with either the man who is exactly like his father or with his dearest friends causes his mind to break. He dies of exhaustion in this world after untold power rises in him, and he slaughters everyone in miles. Disgusted with himself, as a servant he never reveals his face, even when he is commanded by seal.

Saber: After the 5th grail war, Arthur stays with Shirou. They decide to journey across the world together. Shirou develops his swordskill tremendously, to the point that he can out-fence Arthur. When catastrophe strikes, they fight together as lovers bound by the sword. They die in each other's arms, and as his last promise Shirou states to always be true to the King of England.

>> No.6475558

Assassin: After the events of Heavens Feel, Shirou finds Sakura is dying slowly of a magically-induced illness unrelated to the Matous. He finds out the only way to cure her is to infiltrate the Church. He then teams up with a former church assassin who is looking for the same remedy, if for the opposite reason. They fight against some of the Churches strongest magicians, and eventually face an hitherto unknown wielder of True Magic, stronger than Aoko and even Zelretch. The only way to face him is to keep out of sight and attack from behind. Shirou finds a new phantasm in this state, Perfect Distill. It is a all-or-nothing move that either separates the enemy from his mana and oxygen or leaves you wide open. It causes the enemy to spasm from a lack of air until he can take several breaths, and completely disrupts a mage's ability to fight. With this attack he defeats the mage, saves Sakura, and is later killed in his sleep by the church as a heretic.

Lancer: During the events of UBW and his fight against Gilgamesh, he notices a glimmering light in the edge of his field. It is Gungnir, the lance with infallible aim. When he picks it up he suddenly has the speed of Arthur and the strength of Hercules. He is able to defeat Gil on his own, even after Gil gets serious and starts spamming Ea. He discovers Gungnir wasn't a replicated item from Gil's vaults, but a gift from Odin himself. He trains with it, defeats many enemies, and dies at the hand of his and Rin's daughter in his late fifties as an accomplished warrior.

>> No.6475562

Unnamed Anonymous Youkai

Best if you let this thread die first man this prick won't let up Post again when this mental escapee shouting obscenites has been tazered and visited by the party van

Till then i suggest to take it easy an we will wait warmly.

>> No.6475565

Brawler: Shirou saves Caster after Rin kills her master, and she falls for him. Caster likes her men...physically fit, so she teaches him some spells to enhance his strength. The nature of the particular spells Caster uses allow a bit of the residue to remain after each incantation, so the more Shirou trains with her, the more inhumanely strong he becomes. This is shown especially in his sparring sessions with Saber when he puts down the training sword and holds his own with his bare hands. He learns to reinforce his own body and even manages to take that to a new level, with fists that can punch past walls of solid titanium and disintegrate skin without contact. In this world he fights as a defender, who doesn't even kill his enemies, just disables them. The future of this world isn't as dreary as many other worlds, mostly because Shirou doesn't make more enemies by killing their family and friends. But in the end, it is Taiga who kills him in his own home, for sparing the murderer of her newborn son.

>> No.6475566

Shirou Emiya: The seventh path takes place before the Grail War. In fact, in this life the Grail War doesn't exist. Shirou has these strange dreams about living and dying, servants and masters, love and war(Also, in this life he didn't learn any magic from his father). He tracks down Rin Tosaka, And discovers she's just a spoiled girl from a distinguished family. He finds Ilya and sees none of the mature woman he discovered in his dreams, just a playful child happy with a handsome stranger to speak with. Sakura isn't related to Rin in any way, just a cheerful and shy girl who loves her family and has a crush on her sempai. But Shirou is just glad to see them, and feels a bit incomplete without Saber.

Timeskip, and Shirou is 25. Life has been normal, except he has been training in secret to uncover his skills he found in that endless dream. For the first three years, nothing. But eventually he succeeds, and learns everything again. And with this past knowledge comes something new, a portal into the realm of the gods. And Shirou's manifest link to this portal has a proper name: The Will of the True Hero. The only Reality Phantasm possible to mortals.

And then he goes on to face the true evils who invade his dimension: the God of Death, the Queen of Souls, and The Ultimatum.

The solitary past wielder of the Will of the True Hero had a code name. he was a mortal from a distant planet in another galaxy, and unknown to all but the gods now. He was known as Type Solar.

Fate/Legend Solar. The last visual novel of Fate series.

>> No.6475570

>>6475527
>world4chan
so that meme really is that old?

>> No.6475575

I once caught my physics teacher, quite a hot MILF actually, saying some really harsh stuff to another teacher about one kid that sucked at her subject. (Didn`t do his homework, general misbehaving, etc.) I mean REALLY harsh stuff. She and that other teach must`ve been huge friends, because she was openly telling her all that shit, but when she found out, she totally flipped.

I hinted very subtly after one of her lessons that I had overheard her little rant and she got so nervous. I mean, I didn`t even care about that kid she slammed, but she was so sure I was going to tell on her.

We were alone in the classroom (I had waited until everyone left so I could tell her that I knew about the incident.) so she quickly ran for the door and locked it from the inside. Then she grabbed me by the shoulders and asked in a panicky whisper whether I was going to tell on her. "No, of course not!" I said, but she just blurted out the good old "I will do anything, just please don`t tell!”

Oddly, I didn`t even think of sex, but she grabbed me even more tightly, and kissed me. I was totally taken aback, but she was already unzipping my jeans. She didn`t blow me, a quick hand job and a 10-minute doggy-style (thank god I wasn`t a virgin back then) with her bent over the desk. She actually moaned a bit, but I think she was more concerned with getting her name cleared. (Oh, the irony.)

Needless to say, I came all over her naked back.

I think she realized quite quickly that I was never going to tell on her in the first place, because she was a bit cloudy during the following days, but I still got along with her fine until I graduated.

>> No.6475578

The secret of Evangelion is that they took super robot pilots and reversed their genders
if Rei was male, he'd be the awesomely silent/cool/calm guy.
When he rushes that angel with an N2 mine under his arm sacrificing his life ... that is the scene where MANLY TEARS flow for A MAN'S WAY OF LIFE AND DEATH.
Asuka, if a man, would be an awesomely HOT BLOODED pilot. And pervy with his advances on Shinji, but a little tsundere.
And Shinji, as a weak little girl, as a girl, puts it into context. You'd be fapping furiously to Shinjiko every night because of her shy demeanour
And with girl Kaworu, Shinji x Kaworu would be amazingly hot.

Shinjiko has been called to NERV by her estranged father, called to pilot the EVA. She is reluctant, lashes at her father and says why had she been abandoned. Gendo silently orders ManRei to resume piloting. Manrei comes out, arm in cast, bandage over face. He stoically lifts himself from the hospital bed, ready to fight on.

This is the part where your eyes moisten, for this MAN OF MEN will FIGHT TO DIE, Silent to Death, bound to duty

And yet... only a weak little girl abandoned by her father can face the killer angels in his place.

And imagine the reaction to star HOT BLOODED pilot Mansuka, kicking ass and ass kicking angel killer, saving Shinjiko's ass here and there, but she's catching up.

>> No.6475582

SHIKI...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. Tsukihime is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Kohaku and stole Shiki’s life force?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Kohaku. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Kohaku.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK KOHAKU? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. SHIKI knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Kohaku want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Shiki’s life force.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from family problems so wrong? When Akiha does the same thing to Shiki it's like 'oh she's so womanly', but when SHIKI does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Akiha. He probably was going to use his Tohno Inheritance to tighten Kohaku’s cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shiki look good. Objectively, SHIKI is a far better character than Shiki. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shiki, and if he weren't stuck with that weak ass Blood Swords power of his and no Mystic Eyes of Death Perception plothax he probably would have won the fight.

>> No.6475583

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

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