/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[x] accept

my body is ready

>-You will be lumped in with team ⑨.
>cons

>first stage boss

That's bull. I wanna hang out with the cool ladies at the extra stages.

I'm going to be a little girl, right? Most of the stage one bosses are little girls except one or two, like Letty.

[x] genuflect

>>6386489
None of your cons are cons.

>>6386504
You can be extra stage midboss for the lulz. Just don't complain when Reimu goes into I am a motherfucker mode on you.

>>6386489
No problem. Where to sign pact?

wait wait wait.. i cant choose to be my human self

BRB Just minding the shop ok

BRB Just minding the shop OK.

>>6386516

Pff, fine.

But I want a silly hat. Surely that's part of the contract?

>>6386489
Humans are a type of animal, right?

Do I get to be female, and is that a pro or con?

First, I ask her if there's absolutely no other way for us to reach the place.

If she replies yes, there is, I tell her to fuck off.
If she replies no, there isn't, she obviously doesn't know humans. I tell her to fuck off.

You can choose between a standard-issue ribbon or cloth cover like most Touhous wear, or you can opt to provide your own.

I can be any kind of yokai?

>>6386533
>portaltogensokyo.jpg

☑ YES

If I have to become a female, then I choose to be a hyena yokai. Hyena females have bigger dicks than their males.

How are your cons bad?

Also, YES

>You will be lumped in with team ⑨.

With cons like that, who needs pros.

YES. Do it, Yukari, please!

>become a tanuki youkai
>team up with coon marisa to cause an incident
>get promoted to stage 5 boss as her assistant
>candidate for playable in next game like a boss

Of course I would take it. The only real loss is the internet. Being a cute lesbian touhou more than makes up for it, though.

>>6386581
>youkai
>playable

So you're expecting 13.5, eh?

To be frank, so do I. Along with 13.1, 13.2, 13.3, 13.4, 13.6, 13.7, 13.8, 13.9 and 13.999.

>>6386593
>13.999
FAIRY WARS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
It will be magical.

The internet sucks, living as a ⑨ would be a lot more interesting as long as finding food and keeping warm in the winter aren't too difficult.

Can I be some kind of insect or flower related fairy? So that I can go and live in the Garden of the Sun with Yuuka? :o I'd do that!

>>6386609

All the fairies hang out in her garden and listen to music, most notably the Prismriver sisters. It's mentioned in one of the print works, and directly shown in a PoFV ending.

Fuck that, I'd rather stay here. thanks for the offer anyway.

>>6386603
As a fairy, you don't need to eat, period. As a youkai, you can just go scare some humans. Not a problem.

Shelter would be harder, but hey, you have all the time in the world, all the necessary materials lying around, and some magic powers to help you, you can build yourself a home in no time. And then you're set for life.

>>6386489
I'm_Ok_with_this.mkv

Kirin youkai reporting for stage 1.

DO WANT!

I wish to be a pretty little flower youkai

>cons

>>6386489
I would do anything just to do it ;_;

i wan't to bee a tohou

>stage 1 boss welcome party

I'd be a fairy so I can whore myself out.

>You gonna get master spark'd.

YES YES YES

I see no Cons here

>>6386674
>fairies have no reproductive organs

Better hope ZUN draws you with a purty mouf.

>>6386667
Cirno, Mystia, and Parsee are not stage 2 bosses. Shizuha isn't even a boss.

>>6386686
citation needed, etc.

>>6386689
Cirno is also a Stage 1 MID BOSS on PCB.

⑨ thread?

⑨ thread.

Become an immortal fairy in an interesting world with beautiful and awe inspiring locals where literal gods and goddesses walk amongst man and humans with enough hard work and tenacity can challenge the gods themselves, associate with a lively bunch of misfits and actually have REAL friends or at the very least relationships or miss the next shitty VN game and stop coming to the internet where there are random trolls and idiots.

THIS IS THE HARDEST DECISION I HAVE TO MAKE GUISE?

>>6386689
>Cirno, Mystia, and Parsee are not stage 2 bosses.

You meant to say they are stage 2 bosses.

Parsee may not belong, indeed, but Cirno and Mystia are stage 1 bosses in PoFV.

>Shizuha isn't even a boss.

That's discrimination.

I don't see any Cons.

>stage 1 boss of TH13
>lumped in with team ⑨

One can only hope.

You know, my biggest grip with the fandom as of late was that Kogasa was not. She's a perfect fucking fit and a great addition, faggots, stop making her having lesbian sex with Sanae. Goddamn. I mad.

I'd do it.

On a side note, would I have to become female?

>>6386896
>would I have to become female?

I wouldn't take the deal if I wouldn't become female.

Sounds like a good deal.

>>6386881

>captcha: Annual trancest

The only real con here is getting master sparked. But no one ever dies in gensokyo, so it's not like it's that big of a deal.

>-You will be lumped in with team ⑨.
What if I start my own team, one with demure, respectable people like the Aki sisters, Yamame & Bucket and Nazrin?

>fairy or animal youkai

This is too hard to choose. There is a certain midge, Serromyia femorata, of which females "kiss" the males after mating to deliver their digestive juices and suck out the male's digested innards back through the mouth. Further, the male's penis usually breaks off at this point, still attached to the female. On one hand, you could be a youkai version of this midge and seduce lolicons as a cute young girl, only to suck out their liquefied innards while their disembodied dicks are still cumming inside you. On the other, a warm and pure yuri romance between two fairies is the perfect relationship.

>Pros
>-You become a fairy or animal youkai, your choice.

I'm not seeing the pro here, chief.

>>6387069
You just made my vodka gut start aching more, fuck you.

Yeah, sure.

Nothing better to do than smoke some weed with team ⑨

> Lumped with Team ⑨

Feels good bro, where do I sign up?

How would I be lumped with ⑨ when I'd go underground to fuck my waifu as soon as I reached Gensokyo?

>>6387137
Underground is dangerous and filled with hostiles. Wait it at the hakurei shrine

>Become an animal youkai
>Find Ran or Yukari
>Become a shikigami
or
>Become a fairy
>Embodiment of nature
>Never die unless nature dies
>Team 9

[x] Sign and Deal

>CONS
>You will be in th13
>You will have at least 4 more friends than you have now

I don't think those are cons.

Anyway, I Can't accept right now cuz I have a debt to pay. in a few years I'll go. say goodbye to my family and stuff.

>>6387142
I have no business with the shrine, my goal is Chireiden.

>>6387137
Who's your waifu?

>>6387181
1. Become a fairy
2. Pretend your a zombie fairy
3. Follow Rin underground
4. ????
5. Profit!!

You're Welcome

>>6386944
npnp because of SSiB

>>6387196
I guess the animal youkai choice would be a good pick.

Can I still be with my waifu? I wonder if she likes stage 1 bosses

I'll earn her love even if it kills me

>>6387246
Well, we know she hates Yamame and is pretty xenophobic in general.

>>6386593

Touhou 13.999... == Touhou 14.0

Discuss.

>>6387229
Eeeeh...I don't think showing up at her saying/thinking "HEY SATORI LETS FUCK" would work out very well.

>>6387263
the problem is, there won't be a touhou 13.999...
there will be touhou 13.999....9 and than 13.999...99
and so on but only a finite number of nines.

...Than again, even I don't know how drunk can ZUN get.

>>6387282
Well, of course, it wouldn't turn out like that right off the bat. We'd have to get to know each other first and build a relationship and not rush it too quickly. I don't just want sex, that was more of a figure of speech. If that was the only thing I wanted could hardly call her my waifu.

But even then, maybe she wouldn't even like me and I'd end up not being with her at all. That would suck.

QUALITY THREAD­

>>6387333
I'm actually kind of surprised to hear from someone who thinks the same as me, and from /jp/ no less

>>6387402
Actually a couple of people on /jp/, including me, don't want to have sex with their Waifu(Unless she asks or begs)

>>6387333
>>6387402
You are both good people. I'm sure your waifu's would at least like you.

>>6387416
Its just that I love her too much to push the idea of it on her, I just want to be happy with her

sure I get looked down on for this by others but that won't change how I feel or think

>>6387416
I never said I don't want sex with her, in fact I would find that highly agreeable. But I want it to be in the context of a serious relationship which has to be built up with time and not just because I lust after her (and I do!).

>Monkey youkai = human
>Don't be ashamed of being a furry or a weak little cannon fodder

>You will have to live with the knowledge that you'll be sexualized and spammed incessantly on the internet, as well as having a stupid meme attributed to you, which will also be spammed incessantly

Added another con for you, no need to thank me

>>6386945
Nazrin's already part of team Myouren.

>>6387543
Yeah but only 2 places have internet in Gensokyo. As a member of team9, I don't think you really have to worry about seeing it. Unless Yukari decides to taunt you with it.

>>6387543

Even with that I wouldn't mind. Hell, I'd like to inspect a bit of it. Only the yuri doujins though, everything else I'd rather ignore.

>>6387543
I dont care. I just would like to be youkai.... (just not animal one, because being animal youkai doesnt suit me)

I'll become some sort of beast youkai, it doesn't really matter. The DBZ clause of

>If you work hard, you can become incredibly skilled in anything you choose.

is what makes this awesome, since everyone in Gensokyo is lazy and never trains. I'll adapt my already tuned shmup skills and train at danmaku every day. I'll hold back for Stage 1 then come back as the EX boss.

Am I still a male and do I retain my age? I almost don't want to become a little girl in this case, unless magical penises are readily available outside of Yukari and Eirin.

>>6387565
at least being a youkai lets me have the same lifespan as my waifu

I also wish to have half-youkai half-kappa children one day

My fetish is to be attacked by Reimu and scolded for being a bad youkai who does bad things who needed to be punished. I'll gladly throw my little panda-girl body in her way.

I wonder if Nazrin would take a weak little mouse youkai under her wing and teach it to be a great dowser some day. And then hopefully there could be a student/teacher romance between us.

Do I get a big warm onee-san to get me through the hard days?

>>6386489
-You will be the stage 1 boss of TH13.
-You will be lumped in with team ⑨.

I sends my life in your hands, Yukari. Send me there, no matter of cons!

>>6386581
Wait what. I assume that's from the three fairies manga. Why is Marisa a tanuki?

I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I'm having trouble choosing between fairy or animal youkai though, so I'd just flip a coin beforehand or something.

In respective hyphens:

Pros:
- I'll have to go Tengu here. I'd go with Nekomata, but I don't want barbs on my penis.
- I'll just hang with the human village and be a Stage 1 Boss for a living.
- And I'll piss it away the same as I am now.
- With no responsibilities, I can get right on that.

Cons:
- I'll work something out. Marisa or Rinnosuke must have at least, like, an old IBM. I'll manage somehow.
- Sounds pretty badass to me: naive newcomer manages to be considered a stage boss, bitching.
- And I'll enjoy every moment.
- I get all this AND daughters to raise? This is the greatest deal ever ;_; Or maybe that just means I can become their leader and be the star of TH14.

[x] Accept
See you on the other side, /jp/.

>>6387869
>penis
>daughters
Silly anon, you will become a little girl.

I wish this actually happened....
;_;

>>6387885
I swear to god, the only way for this deal to get sweeter is if the Buddha himself appeared and gave me paizuri.

Pros:
-Solid, solid. Something that involves fire to reflect the BLAZING SOUL WITHIN.
-This is -the perfect life-. Seriously.
-Nice, I love living.
-HARD WORK AND GUTS.

Cons:
-Everything else will be significantly more exciting than anything the Internet or any VNs could offer.
-I'm a boss? That's already a pretty awesome role. Way better than being one of those derpy things that fires one bullet and dies before it leaves the screen. No issues here.
-This is me giving a fuck.
-This is perfect. They're the ragtag band of misfits I need for my hotblooded squad of heroes, living day to day on the ragged edge of disaster. We'll take down Reimu and make her stop ruining everyone's plans for parties and resurrections. Cirno will be my second in command.

Yukkuri offers to transport you to Gensokyo.

Pros:
-Easy

Cons:
-None

>No more internet or VNs.
But, but... The best part about going to Gensokyo isn't becoming the little girl - it's showing everyone online that I did!

>>6387969
>Team ⑨ steps in and beats up Reimu because she's a bitch to absolutely everyone
Why is this not a game yet?

>>6388050
Reimu could take all of team 9 firing spellcards at her at once.

>>6388050
Because it's stupid, just like you.

- Immortal, or rather last as long as nature itself
- Zero responsibilities other than existing... you don't even have to get involved in youkai/human affairs

Being a fairy really wouldn't be so bad.

Do I get to choose which power I get?

Also, I can probably bypass the internet thing by befriending the moon people or the kappa.

>>6388027
Look, just make your disappearance into a big news piece complete with a note stating that you have ascended to little girlhood.

Sign me up.

I'd be a Tiger Tank Youkai

No genderswap, right?
I'd be the first man-fairy then.

I'm surprise people want to be fairies. You do realize they don't have vaginas, right?

>>6388101
But then you'd get all the Tiger's horrible technical problems.
You'd be pissing all over the place, constantly.

Very well.

Can I work hard enough to also be a higher-level boss? Stage 5, 6, and so on?

>>6388146
You'll have to make friends with a stronger, final-boss worthy youkai who's apt to start an incedent. The upper reaches of bossdom are reserved for plot-relevant characters.

This would be difficult, considering you're part of team ⑨.

>>6388134
At least then it's impossible to get dicked. Assuming that mentally I'm still the same as I am now, that's ideal.

I guess I better I hope I don't end up with a mouth like Luna's then..

>>6388202
three invisible dicks.jpg

Hey Luna, what's "sex"?

>>6388220
lol'n

Pros:
-I'll go will a snake youkai
-Sounds cool
-Hells yeah
-Awesome

Cons:
-Fucking finally. The internet started sucking during 2005 anyway
-Can I come back in the last stage?
-wat
-shit

>>6388134
>[citation needed]

>>6388134
Stop trying to bait us into filling this thread with 3 fairies porn.

I see no cons here. Be an animal youkai and get to hang out with the 9 squad, get master sparked and make friends!

Sounds like heaven.

>>6388304
>animal youkai

Good luck having sex with a man when you're in heat.

>>6388310
or be a man and rape everything

>>6388310
So, you're a girl now, act like one. What's the big deal.

The only problem is selecting what kind of youkai to be...I could be a fairy too...Mantis youkai? Hawk? Gargoyle? Are gargoyles even allowed? So many possibilities...

>>6388310

>>6388310
that won't be a problem, gensokyo is infested with hordes of faceless men who exist solely for that one reason.

>>6388310
TO THE RESCUE

>>6388139
>Implying that without proper grade equipment, that Tigers were prone to mechanical failure all the time

>Implying that Tigers even though they had some problems due to sub standard equipment late in the war that they still weren't feared by the western Allies.

>you gonna get maser spark'd
best con EVAR
COME AT ME SIS

>>6388353
Well, who's gonna maintain you?
Cirno?

Adelle leaks oil, ze.

>>6388475
who do you think

Stage 6/EX bosses may get more respect, but everyone gets to see the Stage 1 bosses! This is the only pro necessary!

I don't want to be a fairy, getting raped by mikos and witches all day.
Fuck Animal Youkai as well, Tengu is where it's at. I'd go for Bear Tengu at that.

>>6388656
I don't think tengu are allowed to be Stage 1 bosses.

>>6388656
When I heard there was an official manga about fairies I hoped it was just about them hearing about something fun happening, going there, and then getting freight trained by a player character.

>>6388687
Glorious.

>>6388282
Google it, bitch.

Me holding the camera.

This thread stinks of pooshlmer/CYOA bullshit. Reported.

>>6388706
There hasn't been an ounce of CYOA content in here. Are you retarded?

>>6388706
Yeah, but it was approved by a janitor the whole day. Sadly.

but what kind of animal youkai? the high level human shape ones, or the low level animal shaped mindless beasts?

i'd rather be a fairy if the second one's the alternative.

>>6388716

Read the thread faggots. Assuming shit is for lesser posters from lesser boards.

>>6388716
Fantasizing about Touhou keeps our autism from going into the red zone and overloading.

>>6388749
There are no mindless beasts. That's just what humans told themselves while patting themselves on the back after a long day of youkai slaying.

>>6388757
I DID read the thread, anon. This thread is really horrible in my opinion.

>No more internet or VNs.

Fuck this. If this works, we'll get like 40-50 Anonymous fairies/youkai in Gensokyo. All we need to do is spreading around the place, conducting regular searches for computer parts passing in from the border and putting them together. As for electricity, out of 50 people at least someone is bound to have an ability able to power a computer.

Afterwards, all we have to do is finding valuable items and trading them to more powerful youkai (if they don't beat us and take it first) to take the computer (a laptop would be preferable but most youkai can lift a computer of any size no problem, they may break it in the process though. ) to the outside world, torrent the latest VNs and comiket bounty and get back into Gensokyo for the eager team Anonymous to read.

I have a five-stage plan ready in case /jp/ ever ends up in Gensokyo. A meeting place should be established though.

>>6390016

Hmm, a meeting place? How 'bout the Hakurei Shrine? We need Reimu's permission first, though.

>>6390016
No offense to /jp/ or anything, but if I made it to Gensokyo, the last people I would hang out with are fellow transformed /jp/ers.

>>6390037
Hell no. Reimu's response will be "Awesome, a youkai gathering! I'll exterminate all at once and save myself the effort of hunting them down! "

>>6390089

Of course, someone needs to talk to her, that /jp/ just needs a meeting place then move on.

Or we could just use another meeting place? Perhaps near the bamboo forest of the lost, or near Byakuren's ship-shrine thing.

>>6388220
Best line in fairy wars.

>>6386489

>Yukari offers

I love Madame Yukari to bits, but I wouldn't take any of HER offers, before she gaps my private parts all over my body.

>>6390127

But Yukari's a lady, she wouldn't do that.

Unless you fuck with her.

None of the pros are pros to me.

>>6390138

Yukari enjoys ruthlessly pranking even her closest friends and allies, like Reimu, for little or no reason.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what your chances are there.

>>6390145
I'd still take those chances. But if she were to drop me near Keine, Mokou or near Eientei I am screwed.

I would agree to it. I will do anything beautiful Yukari says.

You now realize that the food source of predatory youkai consists entirely of outsiders who were dumb enough to take Yukari's deal.

>>6390206
Getting eaten by Yuuka; not so bad end anyway.

>>6390206

If they're trying to eat me, they're clearly hostile. I feel it would be well within my rights to employ deadly force in my defense.

(Only fancy stocks work in Gensokyo.)

>>6388134
what in the frozen rage lakes of firy'guth makes you think that's important?

>>6390206
>outsiders who were dumb enough to take Yukari's deal.
>dumb
If we were dumb enough, we'd be dead already.

>>6390222

That is one small rifle.

>>6390415

It's chambered for the .30-06. That'll take down a bear.

>>6390451
Most Touhous could take down a dozen bears in hand to hand combat. The ones who would actually going around eating people, probably a thousand. A direct hit from a recoilless rifle probably only do minor damage to Yuka.

>>6390461

If Yuuka wants you dead, you're dead. If random fairy #24601 or someone of Rumia's level thinks you'd make an easy late night snack, it might be enough.

>>6390451
>>6390461

Bear youkai!

>>6390490
>>6390451

>>6388084

If I can choose, I would be the fairy of TECHNOLOGY.

While they are using spell cards on each other, I'll be pimping with my BFG9000.

>>6390504
Faggot.

>>6390506
Technology isn't a force of nature.

>>6390511
I'm sorry.

>>6390506
You can't carry that over.

>>6388056
>Reimu could take all of team 9 firing spellcards at her at once.

Cirno and Mystia already beat Reimu. Alone.

but will i become 2d in a 2d world?

if yes cont me in,

if not, not interested

Posting ⑨ in a ⑨ thread.

>>6390536
PoFV isn't canon.

>>6390941
buttfrustrated miko lover detected

Can I be a ⑨ too?

God, yes! I would kill to get into Gensokyo!
>My reaction if it would happen

>-You will be the stage 1 boss of TH13.
>-You gonna get master spark'd.
So long as I don't die I'm okay with this.

>>6390941
That's not funny...

-You will be the stage 1 boss of TH13.
-You gonna get master spark'd.
-You will be lumped in with team ⑨.
not cons

Also I accept, I will be a fairy who is actually in a relationship with Cirno, my magic is based on wind

fuck yeah being a cuelebre

Cons:
- You'll be a target for thousands of fap sessions and you'll be sexualized to no end.

Nah, kidding. It's a pro, we all know we would love it.

>>6391070
Will you have a sheltered Xana imouto whom you jealously guard from the harsh outside world, working hard every day and fighting valiant knights (if there's a vampire mansion in Gensokyo, knights wouldn't be out of place either) seeking to kill you so that you can feed her properly and give her the happiest life you can? Obviously, being on /jp/, you'd also be a perverted elder sister and molest her during the night, telling her it's the natural thing for sisters to do.

>>6391096
that kinda goes with being a cuelebre, doesnt it?

the question is how many times i will have to say "i am not a dragon!"

Please don't rape me Yuka-oneesama♥

>>6386489
I wish so much that master Yukari could appear and do it ;_;