/jp/ - Otaku Culture

But at the barriers of Barad-dur, he met the last enemy, the final confrontation.

The evil Zoken Mato.

archer035.jpg

ARCHER HAS LOLIS

Fortunately Saber defeated him and they all lived happily ever after.

Archer retired back home where he had unlimited Loli-fun every day.

One fine spring day, Archer and his Loli's, Sakura and Rin, were gazing at blossom trees.

Sakura asked 'Aacha, where do babies come from?"

Archer flushed, and after a moment's hesitation shrugged his heavy shoulders and replied "They are summoned by the holy grail, in fact."

Rin did not believe this, for she was not stupid.

One day, Archer met a little boy. His name was Shiro Emiya.

Archer talked to this boy and found that his personality was very queer. He suddenly remembered fragments of the future.

So, he brought him to a harbour where a giant ship was to set sail.

"Aacha-san!" The young Shiro asked with delight. "That's a big ship!"

"That's an astute observation." Archer said. "That ship will lead you back home."

The Titanic soon set sail afterwards with Shirou on board and Archer waving farewell.

Rin is amused by this story.

>>629714

I lol'd

>>629730
>Titanic
wrong era

>>629730
>>629743
Yeah, this is a whole different kind of time paradox.

>>629730
I fucking lol'd

One day, Rin fell sick.

Sakura was very worried and stayed by her side. That night, Archer visited them with cookies and milk.

"Aacha! Aacha!" The little Sakura cried out, tears flowing from her eyes. "Is rin-nee going to be alright?"

Archer looked at her for a moment. It was just a little cold he knew, but he smiled. "No. She has terminal ebola. SHE GONNA DIE!!"

Rin glared at him, because she had studied Ebola in class.

Sakura was not amused. She cried long hours that night.

>>629754
>>629730
>>629714
These stories amuse me, continue.

>>629754
I like how he's poised to fuck the loli in the ass.

>>629678
so I'm not the only one who thought that it like the tower of sauron

One fine spring day, Archer was sitting on a tree with his Loli's, Sakura and Rin on his lap. They were enjoying a fine picnic, and Sakura had on her special Sunday Hat.

"Ne ne!" Rin asked excitedly. She bubbled with joy. "Aacha! Can I wear the special Sunday Hat too?"

Archer looked at her, and looked at Sakura who was chewing absently on a muffin.

He shook his head. "No."

"Why not, Aacha!" Rin asked, with tears glistening in her wide eyes.

"Your head is too big." Archer replied as matter of fact.

"..."

That day Rin mastered her first offensive spell.

>>629759

>>629770
They are starting to get lame.

One fine spring day, Rin and Sakura were sitting on the roof of their house, enjoying the brisk morning sun.

As Archer returned from the market, the pair spotted him and waved. Suddenly, Sakura tipped in her excitement and lost her balance, bringing Rin and her both down.

Archer saw this and dropped the bag of groceries in his hand. The kiwis and bok-choy tumbled on the ground as he rushed forwards.

"LOLIIIII-CAAAATCHIIIII!"

They both landed safely in his arms.

Rin looked up at Archer, who was panting heavily.

"What did you just say?"

"..."

>>629759

>>629782
>>629770
>>629754
>>629730
WHAT HAPPENED ARCHER? YOU USED TO BE COOL.

>>629759

>>629782
>>629770
Well this thread died in a hurry.

>>629779
>starting
it was lame to begin with

This is almost as lame as those "Berserker has no feet" jokes. I couldn't stand that thread.

>>629823

Well, I agree that the thread started off on the wrong foot, but it got much better as it went on.

>>629823
At least that thread had some "so bad it's funny" jokes. This one just reeks of fail.

>>629823
>stand.
Don't start this shit again

>>629830
>on the wrong foot
GAAAHHHHHHH NOT AGAIN

>>629823
>>629830

I SENSE SOMETHING AFOOT HERE.

The berserker thread never stood a chance.

>>629840

I guess it just couldn't go toe-to-toe with the other ones.

feet

>>629823
>>629826
>>629830
>>629839
>>629840
>>629843

>>629823

Oh god, did that ever get archived?

One day while Archer was doing the laundry, priest Kotomine Kirei came to call to see how his ward was doing. Little Rin and Sakura were sat upon his lap as Archer was forced to continue his chores.

As he carried the laundry back and forth, he suddenly heard Rin shout, "I DON'T LIKE YOU, LET ME GO!"

He turned to see Kotomine frown and look puzzled while tears formed in Sakura's huge eyes.

Rin wiggled more and shouted, "Let us go! Let us GO!"

"Calm down, Rin," Kotomine began.

Until the loli exclaimed, "FALCON PUNCH!" and her tiny fist met Kotomine's face with surprising force, snapping his head back.

Archer found himself smiling as he stated, "That's my girl."