/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>because he was self identified as part of that society.

Because he never self-identified...

Sorry, typo.

this actually sounds pretty cool

It's a somewhat awkward mishmash of sci-fi, magical girl, and obvious audience hooks.

It would probably be better off as straight sci-fi, and also be more unusual amongst VNs that way.

>>618161
FUND IT!

Go ahead.

Can you draw?
Can you write?

It has potential, as either tragedy or good end.

>>618161

Anonymous will start by funding it with pictures of Saya.

Make the magical girl team a team of androids.

Try writing the NOVEL first, or as a screenplay, and then add pictures later

>>618177
But I /like/ genre mashing.

Besides, if we're not talking about HARD sci-fi, it's just "drama set in the future" anyway, right?

This kinda sounds like Planetarian, but that's not bad.

I liked it better when it was called "The City and The Stars."

Anyway, I actually want to make this sort of reflective and nostalgic. I've been in a sentimental mood lately and I expect to remain in this mood for a few months, at least.

>The City and the Stars takes place a billion years in the future, in the city of Diaspar. By this time, the Earth is so old that the oceans have gone and humanity has all but left. As far as the people of Diaspar know, they are the only city left in the world. The city of Diaspar is completely enclosed. Nobody has come in or left the domed city for as long as anybody can remember, and everybody in Diaspar has an instinctive insular conservatism. The story behind this fear of venturing outside the city tells of a race of ruthless invaders which beat humanity back from the stars to Earth, and then made a deal that humanity could live - if they never left the planet.

>All the currently extant people of Diaspar have had past "lives" within Diaspar except one person — Alvin, the main character of this story. He is a 'Unique', different from everybody else in Diaspar, not only because he does not have any past lives to remember, but because instead of fearing the outside, he feels compelled to leave. In the novel, Alvin has just come to the age where he is considered grown up, and is putting all his energies into trying to find a way out. Eventually, a wild character called Khedron the Jester helps Alvin use the central computer to find a way out of the city of Diaspar. This involves the discovery that in the remote past, Diaspar was linked to other cities by an underground transport system. This still exists although its terminal was covered over and sealed with only a secret entrance left.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_City_and_the_Stars

>>618229

Yes, yes, believe it or not, we've all heard of Gurren La-I mean, Wikipedia.

Sounds like a decent premise.
Hell, I'd write it, if I had a drawfag and programmer to help me.

>>618161
sounds like a good bawwww story
give it a try

>>618203
Just read the Wikipedia article. That's not really the angle I want to take.

I want to focus on the main character's internal world as he reflects on his connections and contrast his insular, self-centered world against the dying magical girl's life.

>>618243
Are you gonna fuck with the plot and give him magical healing semen?

It sounds like a good story on it's own, but can it really take advantage of being interactive? Especially with just two characters, you might do better as a manga. Just my two cents.

As long as you have at least 1 each of bad, good and true ends, I'd be content.

>>618250
Fuck no. Bad (but sentimental) End all the way. The magical girl might remind him of his young daughter that lives his his divorced wife, so he can't fuck her. Maybe. I haven't really figured this all out in my head yet.

No sex scenes, though, most likely.

>>618229

Either I'm crazy or this doesn't sound like the OP's idea at all.

>>618270
Good.

Give us a sample of your writing.

>>618265
Yeah, but I've been doing a lot of that (well, not so much lately) and I've been wanting to try my hand at prose.

Can a visual novel still be interesting without choices or sex scenes? ... Well, Planetarian was good without those two, but let's not kid ourselves: I don't think I can reach that kind of caliber.

>>618270

I've lost interest.

now all you need is a plot

and art, an engine and all the stuff inbetween

ganbaru

Sounds interesting enough.
Like >>618200 said it sort of reminded me of Planetarian, and I liked Planetarian.

The magical girl thing doesn't really seem to fit though IMO.

So, how do you intend to go around doing this?

>>618282
You never know unless you try.
That, and you'll get help from Anonymous (but probably only during nighttime).

>>618291
he doesn't

if he had any motivation, he'd at least have a plot, and be hard at work building a narrative, not posting on /jp/ about how his premise is familiar to the weeaboos

>>618287
Maybe she could just be a highschool girl who managed to get her younger sister on to the colony ship, but didn't manage to get on herself.

The important point is that the main girl is self-sacrificing and more "alive" than the main character, even if she's dying.

If you want help on something like this, come on /jp/ during the nightshift, all the highschoolers are asleep and the idiot ratio is pretty low. For an engine I'd suggest just sticking with ONscripter or something, it works for what it is.

>>618282

Without sex scenes? Why not?
Without choices? Sorry, but no.

Seems too adventurous to be a VN. There would be no benefit from interaction. A short manga would probably suit the work better. However, you could change the original premise(make it so multiple magical girls survive to provide more interaction) to make it more suited for a VN.

>>618275

John Smith waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were aliens in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Magical Girl Pretty Heart were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a hikki for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY ALIENS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space telescope base of the UN he knew there were aliens.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the aliens!"
So John gotted his chopsticks and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the aliens
"I will shoot at him" said the predator and he fired the rocket missiles. John chopstickd at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the aliens" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the aliens"
And then John was a xenomorph.

what the fuck is wrong with just writing a fucking novella?

>>618320

You have to make a VN to be popular on /jp/.

>>618320
not very Japanesu

want to make ADV game like Japanesu

>>618314

Oh lawd, I thought you were serious until I read the second half of the first line.

>>618314
Lol, Doom.

Well, the plot should be pretty simple.

The guy is living along on the island by himself, he finds the girl one day washed up on to the shore, after the disaster. She's sick, he tries to nurse her back to health, be is forced to venture into the ruined city to get some medicine or visit get some kind of important resource (gasoline, whatever). The girl reveals that she has some hidden knowledge about the space invaders, though, and together they manage to get hte important resource, but the girl still can't be saved. So the guy decides to abandon everything and make a one-way journey with the girl to find out if her little sister was able to make it on to the colony ship. They head the equator which is an icy death trap in this age, facing a storm and various aliens/monsters/machines/whatever.

of course, they don't survive, but the guy is able to recognize that he's wasted his life, not caring about anyone else but himself, never forming connections with other people. Although it's far too late when he realizes this but just realizing it is enough. Bittersweet ending ensues. Probably.

>>618300

sage for unmotivational.

I like the idea OP.
We believe in you.

Narcissu had no ero scenes, no choices and had bad end, but was still good.
The whole point is that the protagonist knows that she's going to die sometime, and him too.

However, this is not Narcissu.

>>618337

I came.

>>618337

I lol'd.
"Aight Imma make things straight from now on."
(later)
"Well...shit"

>>618337
Oh, the main character would have to discover (by himself) that the colony ship crash landed in the arctic, though, after they get blown off course.

And the girl would have to die while he's telling her (and lying to her) that he found the telescope and saw the colony ship well on its way to some distant star.

>>618337
Well, sounds like a premise, maybe you'll update us unlike the Paranoia VN that was around a few months back.

>>618337
>of course, they don't survive, but the guy is able to recognize that he's wasted his life, not caring about anyone else but himself, never forming connections with other people. Although it's far too late when he realizes this but just realizing it is enough

I'd like to live and care about my self. Not die for some random magical girl. He wasted his life on that girl. He could have instead tried to fuck the shit out of her so they can have babys and save humanity.

>>618357

;_;

>>618337

Remove Aliens unless they're a gigantic mish-mash of every insectoid/reptilian one ever (Xenomorph, the ones from Independants day, Zerg, Tyranids, tentacle monsters etc), and even then it'd be better if there were only one-three of them alive stalking the protagonists.

two pet hamsters living in her bra

looks like boobs until the sex scene and...

OH FUCK HAMSTERS AND DFC!

I liked it it better when it was called Planetarian.

;-;

>>618367
Actually, I was sort of considering that it'd be cool if the aliens were really grey-goo nanomachines... so I suppose it's more like an extraterrestrial environmental threat?

>>618380
CLANK CLANK CLANK

>>618368
oh no, I loled

Sure, whatever.

How comedic/dramatic is it gonna be?

>>618161

I think the concept is certainly unique and interesting, but in the end I despise it due to the fact that it reeks of self-insertion, pedo not cute and pretentiousness.

Work on it for a while, and after you realized that you've been wasting your life and decide to stop, give us the final product before you kill yourself.

>>618367

Continuing from where I left off, these things need to be fucking terrifying. They stalk. They leave behind traces of their existence (shell, scales, slime) and they make sounds almost every other the scene (cries, roars, screeches, clanking sounds, scratches, growls). They need to be characters in themselves. They're hungry. Starving. Their appearance and two wrong moves leads to an automatic BAD END.

You NEED to fear them. This introduces something more to an otherwise straightforward narrative.

>>618409
>it reeks of self-insertion, pedo not cute and pretentiousness.

fits right in with every other VN then

>>618411
Yeah, I'd suggest there being high tension in being stalked in the darkness, with a dead track for music and nothing but sound effects like clanging or scratching here and there.

>>618378

Continuing from >>618411...

Maybe these particular aliens came afterwords?

I mean, seriously... Walking down the hallways in complete darkness without much noise, only hearing you and the girl's footsteps reverberate and breathing resonate through the corridors. Then in the distance you hear a sound; not just a regular sound, but something similar to the screeching of metal against the floor, and the bloody cry of another girl as if in pain. It gets closer, no matter what the fuck you do. Going away from the source doesn't mean anything, as it somehow keeps getting closer. Then, it stops. Silence. Nothing happens.

THEN A GIGANTIC FUCKING CLAW SLAMS THROUGH THE WALL NEXT TO YOU. TENTACLES BURST THROUGH THE LACERATION. YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET RAPED. PRAY TO YOUR GODS.

>>618409
Really? How pretentious can a story with a magical girl be?

As for the self-insertion, yeah, you might have a point.

Maybe it's better flip things around?

Main character: dying, self important high school girl who is driven, but lacks a wider perspective

Secondary character: cheerful old man who has lived the full measure of his life and takes the end of civilization on stride

Maybe?

>>618440
It needs to be more pedo.

>>618440
I would make the character a bit younger or much older. mid 20s or 40s. Different dynamics can be worked out that 30 acts as a middle ground to.

>>618438

Holy fuck, Anon, you're making me root for the Xenomorph/Zerg/Tyranid here.

Better yet, the main heroine is blind, paralyzed from the waste down, is an android, a childhood friend, an alien and has Alzenheimer.

>>618477

Is she part ghost, too?

>>618477
Summer job as a maid

>>618480
Nope, but basically something like this.

>>618477
Yamazaki?

or Saitou?

>>618484
I'd hit that

>>618484
Fucking NICE.

Fuck the magical girl angle. Just make her a normal girl, I can never sympathize with robot or magical girl characters.

Better yet, make her fem/a/non.

>>618498
>fem/a/non

So we can rape and kill her?

>>618440
Don't do that, it seems more self-important to have the main character be the teacher. It's ok for a game to have you put yourself in the main character's shoes.. that's the point.

I think it would be possible to have different endings reading some stuff in this thread though. Like, one where you leave to look for a sister, one where you stay, whatever, each ending somebody dies, except for one maybe, still sad somehow though.

>>618498
Screw that. No one ever toys with the thought of magical-girl-failure.

I want to see where this goes, for better or worse.

>>618498

I'm the alien guy, and I think what you originally planned or this would be best.

>>618498
>fem/a/non

Even within fiction, there are things we won't believe. NO WOMENS ON THE INTERNETS

>>618509

Yeah, come to think of it, screw that, just go with what you originally planned. It's better that way.

>>618440
You know, anonymous has a shit ton of good ideas. We should write a story, not fanfiction, but an actual light novel.

What do you say anonymous/tripfags?

>>618530
Been suggested several times with several ideas. Nothing has materalized. I have no faith, no.

>>618346
Narcissu was not good. It had terrible, terrible dialogue, a boring story (they're dying, and the best thing they can come up with is steal his dad's car and drive around?), and mopey, weak characters. It's like bad end = masterpiece with you stupid fucks.

>>618530
Novel with more than author are almost invariable shitfests.

If there was one SUPER STRONG anonymous, though, that could establish some kind of world or framework in which to set stories (like Lovecraft or soemthing), I could see a collection of short stories getting made.

>>618530
No one actually does anything.

>>618546

A strong author... that would make it the strongest book!

>>618542

I'd be prepared to scratch up a basic outline of the plot in a week that we could all work on. I'm liking the sci fi angle - the idea with the old man who has 'seen it all' and the dying girl was quite interesting. I especially like the idea of collectively working on it.

Could be pretty cool.

>>618546

>>Nasu

>>618545
>It's like bad end = masterpiece with you stupid fucks.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE LOOKING INTO MY SOUL

GUYS

STOP THE INTNERNET

SOMEONE HAS INSIGHT, HERE

I MEAN HOLY SHITCOCKS GODDAMN

Not the OP, but I think I have a good idea of how the guy could be.

Basically an easy going guy that just wants an easy life.
Was probably homeless until he started squatting in the abandoned home.
Doesn't usually take things very seriously and would rather leave things to others.

Basically a Tylor'esqu character like from the show The Irresponsible Captain Tylor, except selfish and a bit ruder.

Or maybe not, I just pulled this out of my ass.

>>618559
Is that you, Sunohara?

>>618546
Well what kind of world do we want to create, a semi-fictionalized world of anon in a not too distant future? (20 years?)

>>618572
>semi-fictionalized world of anon in a not too distant future?

So we'd still be living in our parent's basements?

>>618572

20 years is pretty distant to me. I expect to be well and dead by then.

>>618579
He didn't specifically mention NEET anons.

>>618563
What the fuck are you talking about? It's like you've smeared a whole teaspoon of AIDS-filled niggercock precum into the textbox and pressed Submit.

The guy has to divorced, have a daughter he's never seen and be utterly detached from his own life. A guy who only reacts -- a jellyfish caught in an undercurrent. A guy who's sleepwalked through his life his he's watching a video of himself.

>>618599
He is the one anon that got laid?

>>618584
I can identify with this.
I take bad care of my body and eat a lot of garbage.
The only workouts I get is walking to a friends house once a week.

If I live to forty years I think I'll be really surprised.

Actually sounds interesting. I'd give it a shot, depending on writing quality.

>>618607

Alright, now this shit's just getting unbelievable. There's suspension of disbelief and all but come on.

>>618614
I've smoked 20 cigarettes a day since I was 16.

I really wanna give up.

>>618599
See
>Or maybe not, I just pulled this out of my ass.

20 years is actually not that long. Just seems like it when you are younger... later on you realize... Oh SHITS!!! I just worked for company X for 15 years!!!!??? WTF....
XD

>>618632
Gaia just called, they miss you

Call it
"Anon"

Damn, if I wasn't a massive flake, I'd so volunteer to do the art for this. At least once I saw an example of the writing. And if no one better volunteered first. Sadly, see item 1.

Hey anon, if you want some help with writing, come back with a good outline in a few days or so. I might help out.

OP, here.

I actually fully intend to do the project myself. ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL

Not that I would mind if other people picked up the project, though. Heck, that'd be great. I'd even set up a project page and set do the art.

>>618705

Light Novel with illustrations instead I'm thinking.

>>618530
Doesn't work. The only way anything will get made is if the person who comes up with the idea just does it-- asking Anon for help will get you ideas, but no useful help.

>>618705
So, what engine are you going to use?

Im suprised we dont have a team working on projects on a regular basis.

Fuck, we need to make this place a little more productive (though the level of productivity/quality/popularity will never be that of say...2ch)

>>618754
That's one things that's always bothered me about 4chan. Why can't we create cool things? No ambition? No ability?

Read somewhere that any project with more than 17 heads working together is a failure. So asking anon for help is guaranteed FAIL. Unless you pick the right people and keep the group small. At any rate, good luck, always good to see new work come down the pipes.

Anon was a quiet man, his 28 years of life spent doing who knew what, probably staring at a blank computer screen, his eyes focused on some word or phrase or dead-pixel that managed to catch his eye. The world had ended years ago, was it 7 or 8 years? Today was to be the anniversary of that dreadful day, when the skies turned a permanent grey overcast, when Apollo lost the reins to his flaming chariot. Yet, humanity had survived, clinging to each and every last, post-apocalyptic hope, haphazardly grasping at a rumor here and a bottle of magic-dust there, never truly finding a way in their empty lives. Empty, yes, worthless, no, they had a goal, they had a destiny that they had given themselves to fulfill; and that was to survive.
But Anon was different, he was an individual, yet unidentifiable, hiding behind a million secret, ever-changing faces in a desperate and long-forgotten attempt to make a name for himself, to be distinct and separate from his humanity. Sadly, humanity had ended too quickly, and he became something else. Secluded, narcissistic, demanding, self-loathing, hopeless, cowardly, and keeper to the everlasting dark: a veritable mirror image of the black landscape. Yet, Anon had not changed much during the fall, rather, the end of the world simply brought out the worst in him, epitomizing the traits that had been part of his psyche for as long as he could remember.
And so, he lives and dies in this secluded room, hiding amongst the tiered ruins of some broken apartment, amidst shattered steel and crumbling mortar, his world never changing, even with the onset of the tides, when the rest of the globe was covered with an endless seascape.
There were a few things he missed, though: the sweet smell of a ripe peach, the feel of someone else’s hair besides his own prickly bangs, and the flashing lights that would appear whenever magic began to dazzle even the sun and the sky.

>>618789
Too many children... I don't mean agewise mind you.... just too many people not willing to take up responsibilities and efforts to head projects.

>>618794
If you are OP, you are an average writer. I'd say pretty bad normally, but VN style is harder to judge, mainly from my lack of experience. Get a good editor (and I mean a really good one), or practice a lot more before attempting to write something serious, or even worse, something long.

Also, the writing doesn't fit the VN form. That kind of style would be useful for a summary of a story, but not for extended development.

Just sayin'.

>>618794

You're the guy who came up with it the concept, right?

Yes. Just stretch that out over awhile and you've got part of chapter, I guess.

I like this idea, OP.

I like it so much, I think I'll steal it.

But wait, if the world ended, how the fuck are people still living on it?

>>618795
Look, I'm prepared to go over any script/light novel chapter as an editor.

I'm also prepared to offer advice.

>>618982

DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO PROGRAM IT, ASSHOLE.

>>618986

I have scant programming knowledge. I'm a pretty decent writer though, I'm not going to have false modesty on that count.

>>618794
You know, it's not bad, but it's verbose at times and doesn't flow well.

Try emulating someone like Terry Pratchett's prose, it's simple yet witty and effective and quite eloquent at times.

Ever played Mother 3?

>>619038
forgot to quote >>618845

>>618794
Kinda bad. And not the OP.

The reason anon doesn't create things is the same reason that undead don't have babies death does not create life.

Twenty years.

On average, a human life is comprised of three.

Millions are born, and die, within this time.

Empires have risen and fallen in such a period.

Perhaps, then, it isn't unreasonable for humanity to have been snuffed out within such a timeframe.

...Sorry.

That isn't quite true.

If it were, I wouldn't be here to tell you my story, would I?

>>619902
Nasu, is that you?

The world is a living thing.

Did it grow from an embryo? Where did it come from? How do we know it lives?

We can only postulate on the origins of life and its true nature.

Humans can only do that much, anyway. We cannot gain an eye to see into the past, the future, or through all things, so we make assumptions based on what we do know. Theories are altered and change constantly, as new information comes into circulation. However, this means that anything unknown to humanity becomes known only through human perception, and this leaves anything outside of that narrow ability to perceive completely undetectable. After all, how can you comprehend something that goes against everything you’ve taken to be true?

It can’t be explained much more than that. Human imagination often fills in these gaps, so things that might have been completely, mind-numbingly alien are actually created in people’s minds before they can even present themselves. The ability to even have an imagination is one of the miracles that humans carry within themselves every day, whether it’s that of a small child or an aging grandparent.

>>620001

Children in particular have a kind of imagination that can only exist from the ‘blank slate’ they are given at birth. Because of the particularly human habit of building assumptions upon stronger ones into a castle of reasoning, an older human will reach a point where it cannot add or remove “laws” that it has learned in its formative years. When we reach this point in development, it’s nearly impossible to rewrite these “laws of the world” that each of us carry, as the builder of a castle will tell you that it’s impossible to remove the blocks that hold it up and then replace them all at once without the power to keep it from collapsing.

No one knew when the irregularity appeared. Ancient Greece, Babylon, China, the Americas, India – who was its the true cradle? It showed itself to humans who sat dumbfounded, their minds racing to analyze and rationalize its existence, origins, and purpose, as they had done towards themselves and the rest of the world since the beginning of mankind.
The only analysis that they could come up with was that it was not anything we could ever understand, and thus, it was in the realm of the gods, a previous idea that was already established in most human minds as a basic foundation.

>>619902

Now this is the story about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down...

>>618270
>>No sex scenes, though, most likely.

What's the matter, Anon? Afraid to use the word "penis"?

I'm betting you haven't written shit before in your life.

The world is a living thing.

Did it grow from an embryo? Where did it come from? How do we know it lives?

We can only postulate on the origins of life and its true nature.

Humans can only do that much, anyway. We cannot gain an eye to see into the past, the future, or through all things, so we make assumptions based on what we do know. Theories are altered and change constantly, as new information comes into circulation. However, this means that anything unknown to humanity becomes known only through human perception, and this leaves anything outside of that narrow ability to perceive completely undetectable. After all, how can you comprehend something that goes against everything you’ve taken to be true?

>>621948

It can’t be explained much more than that. Human imagination often fills in these gaps, so things that might have been completely, mind-numbingly alien are actually created in people’s minds before they can even present themselves. The ability to even have an imagination is one of the miracles that humans carry within themselves every day, whether it’s that of a small child or an aging grandparent.

>>621952

Children in particular have a kind of imagination that can only exist from the ‘blank slate’ they are given at birth. Because of the particularly human habit of building assumptions upon stronger ones into a castle of reasoning, an older human will reach a point where it cannot add or remove “laws” that it has learned in its formative years. When we reach this point in development, it’s nearly impossible to rewrite these “laws of the world” that each of us carry, as the builder of a castle will tell you that it’s impossible to remove the blocks that hold it up and then replace them all at once without the power to keep it from collapsing.

>>621954
No one knew when the irregularity appeared. Ancient Greece, Babylon, China, the Americas, India – who was its the true cradle? It showed itself to humans who sat dumbfounded, their minds racing to analyze and rationalize its existence, origins, and purpose, as they had done towards themselves and the rest of the world since the beginning of mankind.
The only analysis that they could come up with was that it was not anything we could ever understand, and thus, it was in the realm of the gods, a previous idea that was already established in most human minds as a basic foundation.

First-person active-tense story with loose dialog? Fuck you, overused plot technique.

and this is why I hate missing out on the night shift...

Awesome concept, feels like it can grow to be something really good.
I just hope it doesn't ends up abandoned like Project Insomnia...

Maybe I'll write a sketch for this universe in a dead hour. I'm itching for quiet reflection overseeing the ruins of man.

I've always wondered how you people can come up with such solid concepts, yet you never manage to flesh it out in any shape, form, or fashion, even with the collective anonymous to help.

>>621988
I'm not the OP, but if I knew how to use ONscripter I'd make one in an instant.

>>621988
Effort.

>>621988
same reason we're sitting here, every saturday night, with our dicks in our hands, downloading loli mangas

>>618337
>of course, they don't survive, but the guy is able to recognize that he's wasted his life, not caring about anyone else but himself, never forming connections with other people. Although it's far too late when he realizes this but just realizing it is enough. Bittersweet ending ensues. Probably.

I like it better when it was called the snows of kilimanjaro

>>621988
that's because it's hard to work on a concept as a hivemind. By definition, it goes everywhere at once. So, while we sit down and try to decide on common grounds; the shifting attention is lost, and the project stalls.
It would be good if, for example, you lay out the rules of the general universe in the starter thread, make a few short stories using the unique concept it provides, and then let the rest of anonymous jump in with their contribution.
A loosely conjoined collection of short stories, which is what they tried to do with the Death Machine Project. It works for this kind of thing, maybe not so much for crafting the next Tsukihime.

And that's why I'm the only writer in AND.

I liked it better when it was called Beowulf.

>>622035
Actually, I'm a writer, too.

>>622070
Yes, but you are not helping him write AND, dumbass.

There should be a rule that one is required to write 10000 words before posting about their visual novel idea, I hold myself to a higher standard.

>>622108
10,000? Are you joking? If that's your standard, give up now.

>>622113
According to lint, I am 22,633 words in. Though of course there are large blocks of text that get reused depending on the route. But I do not see the need to come here and brag about it while it is still grossly incomplete. Not that it will ever be good.

>>622124

Faggot. Script comes BEFORE game.

Finish story. Let sit a month. Re-read and edit. Repeat. Polish. IMPLEMENT, IMAGES, PROGRAMMING, ETC.

I see eminent failure.

>>622165
I agree completely when it's a group project. If it's a one man deal, though, I can see the author getting away with winging it. Some of the best shit I've ever come up with is from winging it.

>>618484
I would read your silly game, OP.

I have flowcharts and shit, so I did not see the need to write a text file first, and am instead working directly in the python editor.

Also, by not writing the entire script first, you gain motivation along the way, e.g. I can preview the prologue chapter, see that it works, albeit in a sucky fashion, and figure that maybe I will invest some more time.

But yes, it will still fail miserably. No argument there. Especially since I cannot write well, draw stick figures, let alone sprites, compose, or program.

become and epic porn writer first
study nasu's style until it becomes second nature

This reminds me, did anyone see the first blocks of Anon's Hatsune Miku VN? Prologue contains a line like "I was ready to put three bullets in her head, two in her chest and say something about Jesus Christ, if you know what I mean" or something.

>>622208

WANT.

>>622208
>>I was ready to put three bullets in her head, two in her chest and say something about Jesus Christ, if you know what I mean

Post it. Post it right now you fucking faggot.

Every time I see one of these threads, I think of the last amateur VN I read, remember the writing, and then curl into the fetal position and cry as I pray the evil doesn't assault my eyes again.

>>618794
If this was OP who wrote this.
You seriously not to learn to go easy on the commas.
Commas =/= Professional ?

>>622256

Seconding this.

People who use a lot of commas tend to not know how to fucking use them. They try to make their sentences long and fancy. In other words, amateurs use them as a crutch.

The truth? Short and sweet is better. A little goes a long way.

I'm not supported a fag-made VN, but I had to put in my two cents here.

>>622243

Did you read the one about the hostile guy going blind? That one was amateur made, pretty shitty quality, but the writing was tolerable.

>>622243
not as bad as my reaction to reading Bleedman webcomics.
I still shudder at the mere thought

>>622281

Don't force me to remember shit like that, Anon.