/jp/ - Otaku Culture

details.

>>5990097
Requesting details..

>>5990105
>>5990109

you fapped so hard you broke penis?

>>5990097
2/10

Why would you insert a bone into your urethra?

You're not gonna tell us what happened, huh?

Describe this "sexual move".

She hugged you, right?

Grab her breasts, dicknose!

Older or younger?

>>5990138
OP here. She was saying I looked handsome. I'm fucking ugly.

The only explanation is she's desperate and wants to fuck.

>>5990105
>reiserFS !Hc6EcVkstI
War klar, dass du beschissene Schuchtel auf so einen billigen Trollversuch reinfällst.

>>5990137
she said hi to me

>>5990156
je main pallo booky booky

>>5990148
younger.

>>5990152
She was just being polite, that's not a sexual move. Maybe you shaved recently or something and look better than you normally do.

Alright /jp/, so I was just sitting in my room browsing like usual, and she comes striding in my room without knocking. She's 12, and was wearing this ridiculously slutty babydoll type thing. She normally wears pajamas around at night and I have no idea where she got this piece of clothing at, hopefully mom didn't let her buy it.

Getting off track. Anyway she strides right over until she's leaning over my shoulder, so I shove her away like usual so she doesn't see my business too much. I asked her why she's here.

She giggled and says she had a surprise for me. She's holding her hands behind her back so after she says that, I try to look around at what she's holding. But I can't help but notice her butt sticking out just barely beneath the material of her way-too-short nightwear. It was flat off course since she's a kid, but really firm. It looked soft.

Almost out of text

guys, focus on the app issue. I really want to play super touhou sisters.

I think she noticed where my eyes were going and I just about slapped myself, you faggots made me into a pervert or something. But surprisingly she just laughed again and said it's okay. Then to my utter disbelief she asked if I wanted to look at her, and if I thought what she was wearing was cute. When she spun the lacy edge of her lingerie twirled around too and fluttered up for a moment, revealing a full shot of her little butt. My sister's ass.

My natural reaction of course was to pull back. I kind of started to yell "what the fuck? get out!" but it came out more like a mumble. She had this expression on her face like she really wanted to know my opinion.

I can't ever turn her down when she gives me that little girl smile of hers, so I sighed and told her she did look cute. I tried to ignore what she was wearing as my honest opinion was that it was too sexualized for her, but I just told her that her hair was nice tonight. She had it done up in twin pigtails.

She smiled and jumped up and down a little and gave me a hug. It was really warm, and it felt good because my room is really cold.

>>5990156
>War klar, dass du beschissene Schuchtel auf so einen billigen Trollversuch reinfällst.

i got in one little rape and my whistle was blown it said "YOU BRRRRRING WITH YOUR AUNTI AND BRRRNCLE IN BRRRRLAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

I was getting uncomfortable so I told her if she was done messing around I wanted to get back to my stuff. I lied and said I had homework to do. But she had this wicked little grin, kind of creepy for a 12 year old, and she said that she hadn't given me the surprise yet. I'm sure it was some prank, she probably had one of her friends outside the door and this was some stupid joke they'd thought up.

But I played along and said alright, let's have this surprise.

She told me to close my eyes, of course. And when I did, I felt her hands gliding along my cheeks. She took hold of my face and gently pulled it down. I had no idea what the fuck she was doing until I felt my cheeks smushed right up against something soft and kind of warm.

By this point I was freaking the FUCK out. I didn't want to open my eyes.

So OP's pic is what happens when you break your penis engine?

This is total bullshit but I'm totally getting a boner.

Captacha: whatever pardert

Whoa there. Penises got bones??

Calling in Penis Engine Mechanic.

>>5990254
>This is total bullshit but I'm totally getting a boner.
That's /jp/ in a nutshell.

Sex between siblings is the purest form of sex.

>>5990254
Quite.

Sugoi monogatari, aniki.

As if she was reading my thoughts, she told me to open my eyes. Tentatively I did, scared of what I would see. It felt like she had pressed her stomach up against my face or something. I wondered if maybe she had gotten ahold of some drugs from school or some shit, because she never acts like this.

It was dark and my mind was in denial, so I couldn't really tell. She then asked if I was ready for the real surprise. I kind of tried to pull my head back to get a view, but she shocked me by tensing up her arms and really holding me in place. She was unusually strong. So I just gulped and said I was ready, although it came out muffled because I was just talking into her.

Then all I hear is her laughing uproariously. The next bit happened so fast. I heard this little noise right in front of my face, and this smell like when the dog farts. Except it was her. She fucked farted in my face! My head was jammed right in her ass! All I could here was her laughing loud enough to wake the whole house up while I wrestled myself away from her.

I literally kicked her out of my room until she went scrambling down the hall, giggling like a fucking moron the whole way.

And that, /jp/ was how I experienced my first face-fart from a loli.

So did my imaginary sister last night. We had consensual sex in the missionary position afterwards.

>>5990244
So, that's it?

>>5990274
I totally, completely, entirely expected this.

Is incest illegal?

>>5990274
ilu

>>5990274
Did it feel good, man?

I'm telling you OP, go into her room tonight while she is sleeping and rape her.

>>5990279
It's illegal to marry a close blood relative everywhere, but second cousins are legal in some places.

My step-sister put her hands in my shirt the other day what is going on?

>>5990279
yes.

>>5990289
Who said anything about marrying?

>>5990288
Jesus Christ, you people need to stop lucid dreaming.

>>5990299
No, we were in the library and I fell asleep so she put her hand in my shirt. I don't lucid dream ok ;_;

>>5990274

>>5990289
First cousins are legal most places too.

So the other day I was walking by my sister's room and I heard her watching anime through the door. I listened in to see if I could identify the anime she was watching just from sound alone. I thought it sounded very familiar, but I was thinking that there was no way what I was thinking was what it actually was. After listening for a few more minutes, I was sure of it.

I dismissed it as just my imagination, even though I knew what it was. The next day she asks if I want to see anime with her. I ask her what anime she has in mind.

"I just downloaded some episodes last week. It's Kissxsis, ever heard of it?"

Since I already had the episodes downloaded and I've seen them already, I told her we could just watch it in my room.


Nothing happened. I just felt very nervous and awkward while watching the episodes.

I don't get it. What the fuck makes incest illegal? Does it cause damage to government?

>>5990322
It's icky and yech.

>>5990322
Causes birth defects after roughly two generations. People don't tend to like those, so it's illegal.

>>5990322
Genetic pool and all that stuff.

She turned up on my doorstep one night with a case of clothes, half drunk, she barges past and crashes on the sofa, I asked what she hell she was doing but she mumbled some crap at me and fell asleep. I phone mom, she tells me the full story and basically says "So you're stuck with her for the time being, make sure she's fed and watered", she had a big fight with them for staying out too late and my dad said "my way or the highway", she packed her bags and came to mine, but not before drinking in the cab over to mine apparently, that was the start of my problems.

She's an absolute layabout. her boyfriend dumped her about a week after she "moved in", and she didnt even flinch, she just pfftt'd and threw her phone on the sofa, the game was on, she didnt care.

I've caught her eating banoffee pie in the bath, it disturbed me as I didn't think anyone did that.
She steals my clean clothes and wears them all day.
She completely cockblocked me when I bought a girl home by walking in and sitting down and staring at her until she got uncomfortable and wanted to leave.
She ran out of clean underwear and started wearing my boxers around the house, claiming them to be "like mini skirts but with leg holes in them"
She's intercepted my pizza once, I ordered and paid online, and she caught the guy before he rung the bell and ate a good 2/3 of it before I came out of my room and caught her.
She's sold games of mine online to pay for new ones.
She refuses to get a job, and claims I should pay her to be there.
She's stolen my bed countless times, when the couch got too uncomfortable for her.

Need I say more?

>>5990322
Blame the christians and society.

>>5990334
Sounds like she got to make it up to you somehow, if you know what I mean.

>>5990321
By moving to your room, you shifted the initiative onto yourself. Then did nothing with it.
Btw, is KissxSis any better than its premise suggests?

>>5990334
>She steals my clean clothes and wears them all day.
She completely cockblocked me when I bought a girl home by walking in and sitting down and staring at her until she got uncomfortable and wanted to leave.
She ran out of clean underwear and started wearing my boxers around the house, claiming them to be "like mini skirts but with leg holes in them"

Sounds like she's trying to tell you something.

>>5990321
>"I just downloaded some episodes last week. It's Kissxsis, ever heard of it?"

Sounds legit to me

>>5990344
Sacrifice her to Moloch?

>>5990350
Yeah, to do her laundry.

>>5990334
Just get a large amount of oil and massage her inner thighs. Trust me. It fixes everything.

I'm a professional. You can trust me.

>>5990334
>She steals my clean clothes and wears them all day.
>She completely cockblocked me when I bought a girl home by walking in and sitting down and staring at her until she got uncomfortable and wanted to leave.
>She ran out of clean underwear and started wearing my boxers around the house, claiming them to be "like mini skirts but with leg holes in them"

Sounds like she's trying to tell you something.

Is it common for sisters to have an older brother complex?

I wasn't aware earlier, but having an older sister is awesome.

>>5990369
Oneechan............


DENWA

>>5990353
Why Moloch? He should try Barbas.

>He answers truly on hidden or secret things, causes and heals diseases, teaches mechanical arts, and changes men into other shapes.
This part in particular
>changes men into other shapes.

He can be a pure 2D maiden wearing a frilly dress.

>>5990381
You want her to do all the work?

>>5990388
It's physically impossible to have 2d shapes. Particles are 3d.

>>5990389
No, I just like having her around, I guess.

>>5990274
I came so hard. I wish a loli would fart in my face.

I wish I had a hot older sister. Maybe my NEET life would be less boring a depressing.

>>5990400
No it's not, there's even a 1D shape.

>>5990400
Carabia disagrees.

>>5990417
Can you interact with it?

>>5990346
Harem Manga/anime, nothing special. Too biased toward the older sister though.

>>5990369
I know mine did. She grew out of it at around 13-14.

>>5990423
You can hold it, yes.

>>5990440
Did you have sex? Or at least fondle?

>>5990388
Moloch likes being given children, so presumably he would also like this woman-child.

>>5990413
My neet life is still pretty boring with one. Although I've never tried to hit on her or molest her while she is sleeping so yeah.

>>5990435
There are no 1d objects. That's impossible. It would be nonexistent. In order to occupy space in the universe it must shift through 3 axises.

>>5990463
To be 1D, it only needs to have a single surface.

>>5990478
Then you're not talking about a real thing. It's only capable of being theorized but not made or seen.

>>5990486
Sure it is. A ball. It's only a single surface.

>>5990495

But it exists in three dimensional space.

You're dumb.

>>5990501
That doesn't matter. It is only a single surface, making it a single dimension. Its total size (in our three dimensions) can also be expressed with just a single value.

>>5990463
http://physicsworld.com/cws/article/news/5013

>>5990508
I think you may be retarded.

>>5990504
Quantum wires are approximately 1D, not truly so.

Cosmic strings are the closest thing I can think of, but they're more spatial fuckups than objects.

>>5990504
It's not a real one dimensional thing. It's an analogy to describe the interactions of electrons in a metal.

So many Alices

>>5990508

Existing in space time makes you three dimensional by nature idiot. It doesn't matter what "value" you reduce it to.

>>5990537
I'm Dollfagers, I just got tired of Sion using my tripcode.

Saying an object can exist without length or width means it doesn't exist physically. Quantum dots and wires are just really small.

>>5990554
He has a point. Even physical drawings aren't truly two-dimensional - they're as deep as their media, often a few atoms, on the canvas surface.

The closest thing to a 2D (though not necessary flat) depiction is something visually projected onto another surface.

>>5990595
And just as two dimensional objects cannot exist without at least a small third dimension, three dimensional objects cannot exist without a small fourth dimension that you do not see.

>>5990256

He's never coming back. He gave up that trip forever. But he still posts everyday, wishing for some of his former glory. ;__;

>>5990413
My older sister makes me food, and other concervative girly stuff. All the time. But I'm not a neet, we both study. She wouldn't respect me enough to make me food if I didn't do shit, other than shitting the floor. Go figure.