/jp/ - Otaku Culture

ohboyherewego.jpg

So did nobody else read his stuff? Nobody on /jp/ reads any fanfic?

>>5502528

Fuck no. It's not what's poppin' in the streets, brah.

Reading fanfic is shameful, bro.

Does this look like gaiaonline?

>>5502548
The similarites are there

>>5502551

OH HELL NAW WHAT SET YOU CLAIM?

UsuallyDead is quite possibly the most pathetic author I've seen, fanfic or otherwise. His writing is emotionless, cliche, and painfully stiff throughout. His storylines (if you can call them that) are shallow and his complete lack of style is an insult to people who take the written word seriously. Frankly, I'd rather be vomiting than reading UD's crap - at least the vomit doesn't have an ego to shove back down my throat.

If you seriously think he's a good writer, then you need to read a book. Like, a real book. Any of them. God damn.

>>5502787
I enjoy reading real books. UD isn't that bad. It's not like I've read any better writing when it comes to touhou fanfic, apart from the occasional CYOA that goes on here.

>>5502427
>>5502528
Sup usuallydead. Go viralmarket your shitty site somewhere else please.

>>5506523
http://www.touhou-project.com/
You're welcome.

People who read or write fanfiction, or participate in CYOA faggotry, deserve to be permabanned from /jp/.

>>5506577

>fanfic

Yeah, fanfiction is terrible!
But doujins are GREAT!
Wait...

>>5502427
>He reads fanfic

No I do read the doujin manga and stuff, but Western written, NO. It's bad.

>>5506598
Wait for what? You nailed it.

So wait. All of the western fanworks are irredeemable shit, I agree, but why is Doujin shit considered "acceptable" when 99% of what's out there is shit tier DeviantArt/Fanfiction.net quality that's as bad as the trash being turned out by trash like anotherdream?

After a long walk between the bookcases, she stops. And she starts searching for that book.
"May I help you?" you say already seeing the book, and that Koakuma searches at the wrong place. You get the book down from the bookcase.
"Oh, you've found it!" she says smiling. But why is she blushing so heavily? She steps closer to you. She hugs you, you try to push her away, because your first thoughts was Sakuya and her silver knives...
But, her pretty hands won't let go of you.
"Oh? What's wrong?" you ask her surprised.
"...you smell good." She stares you with dreamy eyes. "Awww...your scent makes me dizzy..."
"Whaaaat!?"
"Umm...milk...I want milk..."
"Are you alright, Koakuma?" Koakuma looks at you vacantly and puts her hands on your pants.
What the...wait a minute!!"

ZIIIIIIP...

Patchouli looks at the two of you and drops the book from her hands.
"Koakuma...what the hell are you two doing?!" Patchouli asks shocked and she blushes and covers her face in her hands.
You bitterly smile as you look down at Koakuma sucking your shaft.
"Umm...mmm...CHAP-CHAP... his cock is getting bigger...it doesn't fit in my mouth...ummm...SLURP-SLURP." The enchanted Koakuma massages your abs and sucks on you like a kitten does to its mother's titty.
"She said something about my smell, and this happened..."
"Then...why don't you hurry up and cum?" Patchouli reddens and yells at you.
"Y...yeah, but...it's not that easy..." you say, but your shaft is only half erect because of the shock.
"...the milk won't come out...ohh, I'm thirsty..." Koakuma says. "SLURP-SLURP...MUMPH-MUMPH...I want milk now..."
Koakuma flails her legs. Then Patchouli walks up to her.
"Koakuma, you have to do more to have him make milk."
"Is that so?" she says.
"Uh-huh. You have to tickle the tip like this or lick the sack up...massage his balls and the shaft if necessary." Patchouli kindly advises Koakuma.
"I understand. Let me try now!"
Koakuma flattens her devilish ears and wiggles her tongue on your shaft.
"Umm...CHAP-CHAP-CHAP...ohh..."

>>5506598
>Buttmad fanfiction author.

You'd better stay on touhouproject. If your kind keeps coming over here and disrupting the peace of the board with shitty CYOA threads, we'll destroy you.

>>5506642
ZIIIIPPPPPPPP

And there goes your legs, they've been zipped off.

"Ohh!! This is super..." The electrifying sensation further raises in your shaft upward. "Your advice is working, Patchouli...you're sure experienced." You bear the pleasure and tell Patchouli.
"What do you mean I'm experienced? I just read that in a book. I've never actually done it, myself..." Patchouli timidly tells you this and quiets down.
"Sorry, I didn't know you hadn't..."
"Hey, don't make me say something like this!" Patchouli looks away, but she doesn't stop peeking at our act.
"Ummm...SLURP-SLURP-SLURP...you taste thicker than before...ohh...I want to drink it...please...ummm..." Koakuma erotically twists her hips and clumsily keeps stimulating you and you see that her tail elegantly sways as she moves.
"Ohh...I feel good, Koakuma..."
"I'll serve you good, so...give me a lot of milk...MUMPH-MUMPH." Koakuma buries her face in my crotch and serves your dick. You see her ears are still fluttering.
"CHAP-CHAP...the extract is coming out...ohhh, it makes me feel dizzy...umm..." Her warm tongue entangles around your shaft. The softness quickly takes you up high.
"Ahhh...I feel like I'm floating in the air...ummmm..." Koakuma sweetly pats and touches herself.
CHAP-CHAP-CHAP...
You hear wet sounds.
"Ah, my tummy feels numb....ummm...!"
BRRRR. She trembles as her body flushes pink. She continues to massage your dick.

>>5506639
Because most of the 99% isn't scanned and translated, so we're not seeing it anyway. Geez.

>>5506651

Good luck with that.

You are quickly reaching the edge:
"K...Koakuma, I'm...cumming...ohh..."
"Please...cum...cum a lot..SLURP-SLURP...ummm...." she strokes your dick with her hand and taps the tip with her tongue.
I feel a burning sensation inside me. The heat gathers at my crotch. Every time she moves her tongue, a hot pleasurable sensation seethes up.
"Ummm...ummm...CHAP-CHAP...cum, please cum now...MUMPH-MUMPH..."
She passionately pants and strokes you harder.
"...I can't hold on any longer!!"you say and after a moment later "I'm cumming!!"
Your groin tenses up and your concentrated extract rushes through your gun barrel and shoots out into Koakuma's mouth.

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!!
"Ahhh...umm...your milk...your thick milk is filling me up...GULP-GULP..."

>>5506609
>No I do read the doujin manga and stuff, but Western written, NO. It's bad.
>ORE WA NIPPON

Go back to /a/, please.

>>5506651
Not an author, sorry. I can't write.
Like you've destroyed the other CYOAs that have popped up lately? Ooooh yeah, /jp/ sure means business.

"I will go and tell this to Miss Sakuya!" Patchouli says with a wide smile on her face.But probably because she sees your and Koakuma's shocked she changes her mind "Ah, alright alright. Then I won't tell her this. But I have one condition."
"What would it be?" you ask her, ready to make anything that she wishes.
"Then you promise me, that you will return to my libary!" her face reddens again as she continues. "you know.. to make me experienced, at those things..."
"Because you can't learn everything from a book." you say, helping her through to the end her sentence. "I think I can promise this."
"Okay, right... Koakuma please guide him out." she says and she disappears behind a bookshelf.

Koakuma looks at you blushed, and tired. She gives you a warm smile, then she speaks:
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist, your smell..." she turns away "I-I just... well where do you want to go?"
"I think..."

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them and stared menacingly. In a loud booming voice, it asked "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" and everything turned black.

When they woke up, they found themselves sitting in a lecture hall at MIT, amonst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the board. Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, wearing his robe and wizard hat.

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the strangely-dressed group, shocked and staring back at him.

"What...?" Patchouli managed to say, all of them confused and unable to understand what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

"What's going on?" Koakuma whispered to Patchouli.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" Koakuma whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at her with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at her.

The majority of something is bad and/or low quality.
SHOCK AND AWE.

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, moving his hands in a series of complex movements as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Patchouli muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, retrieving his wand and pointing at her with it.

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," Koakuma exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"

"Now perish!" The Sussman shouted, conjuring a huge pair of parentheses from his wand, which surrounded the group and enveloped them in a closure.

"What do we do now?!?!" Koakuma screamed at Patchouli.
"I don't know!" she shouted angrily in reply as the both of them hammered as hard as they could against the invisible, unyielding walls of the closure.

"I hope you learned your lesson, freaks!" The Sussman exclaimed, as the closure rose up towards the ceiling with the two trapped inside, exploding into a shower of white parentheses as it hit the top. The Sussman returned the wand to his pocket and continued lecturing.

...

"Where... are we?" Koakuma whispered as she opened her eyes to find Patchouli lying next to her.

"I think that guy said something about the 'land of Java'" Patchouli said in a low voice as they both sat up to find themselves in an empty office cubicle. The sound of mouse clicks and typing could be heard coming from around them.

They cautiously walked towards the opening of the cubicle, which lead to a long, brightly lit hallway that seemed to go on forever.

"Let's find a way out of this place," Koakuma said.

They walked into the cubicle beside the one they respawned in, but it wasn't empty; there was a desk, a computer, and an expressionless, bald man with startingly white skin sat there, staring into the monitor and pressing the keys frantically. They could see he was playing Perfect Cherry Blossom.

>>5506660
It's still hypocrisy for people to so loudly proclaim that fanworks are shit and then to derive most of their interest in a series from the fanworks.

I'm not even talking about primary/secondary bullshit here. How many people here do you think would support the removal of characters from Touhou and replacing them with spaceships? No one--never mind that it's a perfect solution to the problem of IOSYS, meme-spamming retards, cosplayers and all of the other subhumans who latched onto the series because it's "so Kawaii with the frills XDD."

>>5506639
BECAUSE THEY CONTAIN DRAWING OF TOUHOUS DOING SEXUAL THINGS

"Umm... excuse me? Could you ---" Koakuma began.

The man remained focused on the game.

"Hello?!?!" Patchouli screamed at him while waving her arms across his eyes. The man remained undisturbed, and continued to graze with astonishing accuracy. Even when she covered her eyes completely he did not miss at all.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" she exclaimed, kicking him and then the monitor; but nothing refused to move --- it was as if there was a barrier surrounding him.

>>5506726
If that's their reason, they're sluts who are obsessed with sex who need to get out of my NEET board.

Seeing that nothing in the cubicle would respond to their attempts at moving or destroying it, they gave up and walked out into the hallway.

"This place sure is wierd," Patchouli commented sadly, "let's see what's in the other ones."

They visited several more cubicles, but the situation was the same; in each one was a man playing one of the Touhou series, and none of them could be disturbed by anything they did. After a while, it became apparent that almost every one of the cubicles was identical, and the hallway seemed to go on forever in either direction.

They continued to walk in silence, looking into the cubicles on either side for any sign of escape. One of them seemed to be empty except for a single purple book lying exactly in the middle, and aligned perfectly with the four walls.

"This one's different! But... what can we do?" Koakuma said as they entered it.

Patchouli reached for the book, and to their surprise it moved with her touch. She picked it up and turned it over.

On the cover was a picture of a wizard and the words "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs".

"Structure and Inter--- wait, is this the SICP that snake mentioned before we ---" Koakuma exclaimed.

"I think I remember now!" Patchouli shouted excitedly. "It said something about reading SICP!" She opened it and turned to the first chapter.

They started reading the first chapter, and just as they finished the first section, the lights of the cubicle flickered and the two of them were once again immersed in darkness.

"What now?" Koakuma asked, "didn't we read it?"

A deep rumbling sound was heard, and the floor began to shake. They held onto each other as they felt themselves falling through it, then fainting.

They woke up to find that they were back where they started, and the huge black snake head was still staring at them. Patchouli continued to hold the purple book tightly against her chest.

"You have read your SICP today", the head hissed before disappearing into the air.

>>5506722
>He thinks the spaceships wouldn't be redrawn as little girls
how cute~!

>>5506734
If you read fan-fiction, including the one posted in this thread, this ain't your board, boy.

>Most * is bad, therefore all of it is bad.

>>5506805
This is true. Good is only a matter of thinking things you like are less shit than the rest.

Spoilers: It's also shit.

So, did anyone else read UD's ibunshu? What was your favourite part?

>>5506819

I... don't understand...

>>5506837
You and everything you like are shit. It's simple, really.

>>5506849

So the world's full of shit and everything and everyone are shit?

>>5506849
Same goes for everyone, then.
All is shit and shit is all.

>>5506793
>He thinks doujins aren't fanfiction!

/jp/ hates fanfic

Uh...isn't that what doujinshi are?

>>5506895
Because it has pictures which I can fap to.

>>5506895
No, it has pictures.
Can't read books without pictures now, can we?

>>5506906

And you can't do that to written word? You have a terrible imagination.

>>5506889

I think fanfics refers specifically to purely written works. The english variant of doujins would be fancomics. (Technically the word doujinshi just means self-published, and there are doujin games and doujin other things, but whatever. We're Americans speaking American.)

>>5506895
>/jp/ hates fanfic

/jp/ also hates women (even though they buy prostate massagers, dress up as women and talk about how they want to be the little girl) and despises "normalfags" for being "obsessed with sex" (despite the fact that they spend several hours each day masturbating).

/jp/ - Hypocrisy/General

>>5506931

>/jp/ also hates women (even though they buy prostate massagers, dress up as women and talk about how they want to be the little girl)

They jelly.

>>5506921
No, after finding out the wonderful world of H-doujin, fapping to porn story is not as exciting to me anymore.

>>5506931
Pretty sure you're making a mistake in collectively grouping all of /jp/ together like that.
If you treat opposing statements from two different people as coming from the same guy, of course you're going to think he's a hypocrite.

>>5506895
Of course not. Doujinshi are self-released publications. Fanfics are stories written about a setting the author did not invent and is a fan of. That's quite a difference.

>>5506938
But that's no reason to hate them.

>>5506931
I think you're assuming those groups are all the same individuals, which is not correct.

>>5506953
While you're right that Doujinshi are self-released publications, the vast majority of said content is about a setting the author did not invent. I'm not sure about prevalence nowadays, but amateur writing and fanfiction was the original material published by circles. Not all doujinshi is fanfiction but all fanfiction is doujinshi. Posting on the internet counts as 'self-publication'.

Fanfiction: Stupid mary sue inserts into some story so the writer can pretend their part of the world.
Doujinfiction: Making fun of characters and events in the original works with silly jokes.

Fanfiction porn: Stupid immature yaoi shit.
Ero-doujinshi: Girls fucking each other with dicks without all the pretense and wordswordswords.

>>5506998
>they are part of the world.

fucking 4am.

>>5506994
Oh, and fanzines (what doujins are) in both Japan and the western world have existed since forever. Guess what the content is?

>>5506953
>Doujinshi are self-released publications

...almost all of which are

>stories written about a setting the author did not invent and is a fan of.

>>5506998
Ah, I remember what it was like being 15. What an exciting time.

>>5506994
>Not all doujinshi is fanfiction but all fanfiction is doujinshi.

No it's not. There's been fanworks that were adapted by companies.

>>5507011
It was like just yesterday, right?

>>5506994
Not all fanfiction is doujinshi, since not all fanfiction is released on paper. In fact, most of fanfiction isn't.

>>5507020
They cease to be 'just' fanworks if they're adopted into the canon. This is obvious.

Doesn't anyone read anymore?
And I don't mean fanfiction, just books in general.

Is fap-value all that matters?

>>5506998
Fanfiction: shit
Doujinfiction: unfunny shit that has the even worse side effect of creating memes like stuttering alice or hungry hungry yuyuko

Fanfiction porn: Flat-chested futa.
Ero-doujinshi: Flat-chested futa in a language you can't understand.

Generalization is fun, eh?

>>5507024
So you're saying that I could write a story with plot, characters and structure, only release it on digital format and it wouldn't be a novel because it's not on paper?

>>5507023
Seems like it. Time goes by faster and faster every year.

>>5506953

Most self-released manga publications involve...settings the authors did not create and are fans of. That would be "fanfiction." It just happens to be in a comic form.

>>5507032
Not canonized, just made into anime by companies.

>>5507037
If I wanted to read, I'd download a VN.

>>5507037
I still read books on science and history. But for entertainment I go full otaku media.

>>5507037
I do, but I don't really talk about it because if you have anything remotely resembling taste when it comes to books, you come off as being a pretentious pseudo-intellectual even when you actually know what you're talking about and have good reasons for liking it.

>>5507069
If you think taste means anything other than "things I like" then you are already pretentious.

>>5507069

This is, without a doubt, the most Autistic-sounding sentence on /jp/ today.

Also, you lie like a 7 year old. Just say you don't know any books.

>>5507082
No shit Sherlock. Can you explain your reasons for that deduction?

>>5507079
>there are no good standards for literary criticism
Somehow, I don't think Twilight and Chrisopher Marlowe are on the same level.

>>5507053
No, I'm saying that you could write a story with plot, characters and structure, only release it on digital format and it wouldn't be a doujinshi because it's not on paper?

Learn to read, seriously.

>>5507099
>I love house of leaves and atlas shrugged

>>5507094

-Fuckin run-on sentence
-Like one comma, batman. Srsly.
-"I don't even talk about it?" You just did, asshole!
-poor syntax

Can you even hear me through your autism?

>>5507099
Anything that's not a technical analysis (syntax, grammar and such) is subjective. Face it, people genuinely will enjoy Twilight even if they then read books with more complex or (to you) interesting plots and characters. There is no accounting for taste. Some people like complex motifs some like simple ones. Any media is only as good as however it makes you feel (and possibly those around you).

>>5507113
>non sequitur

>>5507131
>is not a good as comic as the far side.

>>5507128
As much as I hate to reconcile my belief in subjective art and arbitrary taste with fucking Twilight, this is true.

>>5507114
That's what I would call an idiot. And here's the criteria for autism by the way:
1. Impairment of communication
2. Impairment of imagination
3. Impairment of social skills

>>5507107
And I'm suggesting that a novel is a novel, and that a doujin is a doujin, regardless how it's published. I think you're beyond having to learn to read, you need analytical skills.

>>5507113

I read House of Leaves. The thing had an incredibly simple story that can be interpreted as being something it wasn't (the fucking thing was about some guy's issues with his childhood and mother, with the "house" shit being a framing narrative) and done in a way that uses the English language in a unique way, the likes of which hadn't been seen since Finnegans Wake.

There's a reason why any talk about Ayn Rand is banned on /lit/. She's a crazy bitch who doesn't know what she's talking about half the time...and apparently people who read books don't know any better, either. The Modern Library board rated Ulysses as the best book, with Gatsby in second. Readers chose two Ayn Rand books, with 3rd place being L. Ron motherfucking Hubbard.

Nobody knows good literature anymore.

>Nobody knows good literature anymore
>Arguing about stupid high school books as always
Please go back to /lit/, moot literally created a board just for you and only you.

>>5507160
No, this is simple semantics here. You're fucking it up again, too:

Doujin : (literally: circle) a group of people producing amateur work.
Doujinshi : a publication made by such group.

Learn basic terms before discussing them, please.

>>5507181

Nobody likes him on /lit/. He's an annoying little shit there, too.

>>5507191
Huh I always thought it was just a shortening of the word. TMYK.

>>5507191
>Doujin : (literally: circle)
>同人
>circle

>>5507181

Nope. I'm on /jp/ and the conversation went into literature. I wish to engage but it doesn't contribute that much to /jp/ as a whole, so I will post with a sage.

"Stupid high school books" qualifies as adult literature, since most people by that time should know how to read it properly. The last actual good book I read was Hyperion...and I'm surprised that people regard Atlas Shrugged as one of the greatest books of all time.

>>5507210
All right, not literally.