/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Spinnerets.

Spinnerets, duh?

I don't feel like getting banned. Go find your own Yamame webspinning porn.

I don't care as long as it's not from where I'm going to put my dick in.

>>5493633
you face is looking a little concave.

ugaa ich bin jetzt suss

it's like thick cum that she takes out from her womb

Now you've gone and done it Anonymous.

>>5493639
Yamame webspinning porn? You know i dont enjoy that kind of stuff sexually. It is similiar to watch car crashes and i enjoy to watch car crashes. So give me hint where to look?

>>5493661
Is that a spider on a spider?

>>5493628

Spiders don't urinate, so assuming she looks human down there, the urethra is a good bet.

>>5493639
>He thinks people get banned on /jp/

>>5493672
Fascinating... It would be cool to make web from my cum. Just imagine... Leaping from roof to roof...

Bad end.

>>5493704
swinging in every direction

>>5493719

>>5493711
Woah! Just what did she pull out!

>>5493704
Jack off on top of skyscraper and shoot web around. ...Fuck

>>5493672
>>5493704
>>5493719
yeah something like this, it would be fucking awesome to wear clothes made of cum don't you think?

Touhou=Fetish fueller

>>5493818
Yeah, i would actually have career! Tailor.

>>5493818
I can't recall any animal that slings on cum or weaves using it offhand, but this fruit fly produces sperm about 20 times longer than its body length (that's one of his testes coiled around him. ) and about 10000 times longer than human sperm.

>>5493911
... what kind of enviroment could have produced the need to have extra long sperm?

Fuck this shit. I'll just assume the gods are trolling me again.

>>5493767
Like Spider-Man but less practical

>>5493937
When you have no idea how a feature could have evolved, default to sexual selection.

This has a long tradition dating back to Darwin himself (it was his answer to why humans have less hair compared to great apes. )

>>5493940
What you mean less practical?? I could catch criminals just by dropping pants down and fap away. Then some newspaper corporation would always be after my pictures...

>>5493626
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dwvrsvxd sbuef pb apllhnjr dk n uxrvdbflwnfwokmsu

>>5493953
Still makes no sense, bro.

>>5493969

That's the point. Sexual selection doesn't make sense - it just happens because individuals are unpredictable.

>>5493969
Female wants healthy sperm (since that's produced by healthy males), her genital tract gets longer (or rather, females with long genital tracts get selected for since those get produce greater number of fit offspring), selective pressure for long sperm goes horribly wrong, this happens.

Kind of like with the farce that is duck genitals (in some ducks those are so large that the male apparently has to turn around and stuff his penis back into himself. ) but with less rape.

>>5494007
>(in some ducks those are so large that the male apparently has to turn around and stuff his penis back into himself. )
Wait, what?

>>5494021
Ducks have extra long penises, and are know for their rape-flights.

They will even fuck the dead, if available.

Somebody should find a way to transform sperm production into web production, so all of /jp/ could be put into use of society. The glorious spider-men.

We might not even be so far away from that dream.

>>5494046
Somebody has been reading article about necrophilia on wikipedia. You got caught you odd fuck!

>>5494021
>The Australian blue duck, for example, has a penis so large that when it finishes copulating the bird has to turn on its back and stuff its penis back into its cloaca.

And cassowaries are even worse. In addition to berserk tree-smashing modern Velociraptor behavior cassowaries are known for, they're also an entire species of dickgirls. The male has an organ that normally rests within the cloaca, but can invert and function as a penis. The female has the very same organ, albeit smaller.

>>5494046
Does this behavioral pattern apply to some other birds? If so I know why Okuu acts like she does in that one doujin....

>>5494098
Say which was it.
Extra long penis, Fucking dead, Rape.
Or all of above?

>>5494124
The extra long penis, rape and having sex with unconscious beings.

>>5494133
Good, enough. I am the guy who liked car crashed and you are Hong. So i trust you know where i can check that doujin?

Wｗw.ａｎＯｘNtxAlＫ.sE RＥＭｏVe_alｌ_x_thEre_AND tＥＬｌ_moot_TＯ_EａT A_BUCKEt OＦ_NＩＧｇEＲ dｉCkｓ
vi w uklz q dzf uy soyg xlch ajcno

>>5494163
You'd probably rather see it translated, so you will have to wait a bit. Even though I'm finished with it.

>>5494133
Very few birds have a penis, and the females usually choose their mates after displays. Ducks just evolved the same deal in a different way (normally displays and such show the the most fit male, which gets to reproduce, in ducks the male that can stay on the female long enough and handle her labyrinth of a reproductive tract gets to reproduce. )

Though when it comes to rape, I'm fond of those fellows.

>Research suggests that the only way that male Acilius diving beetles can become fathers is to abandon any attempt at courtship and rape any passing females.

>The female has a variety of furrows, ridges, hairs and pitted dents on its back, developed through time to loosen the male’s grip when it tries to grab hold. Males have suction cups, which work best on smooth surfaces. In order to counter the female defences they have evolved a range of suction sizes.

>“There’s no courtship for these beetles. It’s a system of rape. But the females don’t take things quietly. They evolve counter-weapons.”

>Any foreplay between the beetles is limited to the female desperately trying to dislodge the male by swimming frantically around the pond.

>Males that manage to hang on wait until the female is exhausted by the underwater struggle and then mate.

>The male will keep hold of the female, occasionally allowing her to the surface to breathe, for up to six hours to prevent her mating, however unwillingly, with any other beetles.

>>5494179
A-all right...! Im not in hurry. So take your time.

What is all this talk about ducks and rape? I want more talk about web and cum.

>>5494180

The crazy part is that even if their entire species seems engineered for self-destruction, that "the only way to mate is to rape, and the females will do anything they can to prevent it from happening" thing is an evolutionary advantage for the species. It ensures that only the best rapists get to breed.

>>5494211

>It ensures that only the best rapists get to breed.

I'm going to go ahead and use this single line to summarize sexual selection as a whole.

So what is this thread about?

>>5494455
Rape

>>5494463
That's just fantastic

>>5494441

Me too. It's so elegant in it's conciseness.

>>5494441
But you can't fit "Oh Jesus fuck you have huge horns/tails/non-Euclidean spirals on your shell/chainsaw teeth/collection of blue objects I'm cumming already" into that line.

You get a prize if you can guess every animal referred to!

Yamame's opisthosoma is a miracle of the underworld.

I believe that not all got the idea. So i decided to provide visual aid.

>>5494508
Ohoho~ Arent you naughty...

>>5494572
brilliant

So to impregnate Yamame,we have to jizz in our hands and then fist her, right?

>>5494484
Whattha'fuck you are talking about?

>>5494712
And excatly what is the logic behind that?

>>5494737
Spiders' syringe hand teeth (palps) I assume.

>>5494737
Spiders jizz on their palps and then stick them into the women. The palps become the arms/claws on scorpions so I'm associating them with hands here.

>>5494783
>>5494758
Well... Maybe so... Then... Nature sure is complicated.

>>5494712
I don't care as long as she doesn't eat any of our children.

>>5494906
i belive it's the children that eat's the parent(s)

That would be kinda freaky... /jp/ dweller's basement would have web everywhere, like in movie arachnophobia. NEETs would be laying on their net's, surfing web, spinning web...

We should be spiders. Lay around web all day and then maybe one day wake up, go work for that one lady and then she'd eat you. And all this started from masturbation.

The closest I can come to weaving with sperm is the mating of certain mites.

>The males release their sperm on small twigs or stalks, in areas that Heneghan likes to refer to as "love gardens." Hammond likens them to an array of tiny golf balls on tees.

>That ritual is followed by the male laying down an intricate silken trail to the sperm. Females spot these "artistic" trails, then seek out the individual artist. If he's to her liking, she sits in the sperm. But, warns Heneghan, it's a brutal world out there. If another male spots one of these love gardens, he'll promptly trounce it and lay his own.

There are animals that launch fleshboring sperm, produce edible sperm cases and a whole bunch of other oddities, but hanging by it is an unlikely find.

>>5494937
Yeah, that happens sometimes. ZUN even directly references it in one of Yamame's StB cards (the Japanese foliage spider one with bullets spiralling in and exploding, I think. )

>>5494948
And by StB I mean DS. Sorry.

>>5494937
And female often eats the male.

>>5494948
"fleshboring sperm" That doesnt sound good. Human sperm sure is lame.

>>5495009
Maybe, but theres nothing stopping you from making an artistic "love garden" out of your sperm.

>>5495023
That sounds like something a yandere would do. Her poor unsuspecting love interest would enter her room, only to find portraits of himself painted exclusively with the yandere's vaginal fluids.

>>5495023
Oh sure... But i wish i could make it look like this.

>>5495051
That web had like a million spiders in it.

You just need to get people willing to contribute to your cum garden.

>>5495058
/jp/ meet up activity?

>>5495063
But we cant cum web. Yet.

>>5495071

one day, an anon will be born with that ability.

It will be our solemn duty to make sure he does not become a floorshitting NEET, and cum-slings his way into the wombs of as many women as possible.

I could begin to jack off in dinner table and when somebody would ask what the fuck i am doing. I could answer, im just weaving web mom.

>>5495087
>>5495071
What if we all cum into some sort of vat with a funnel? Like silk-spinning but with sperm

>>5495121
Oh god... Like bukkake with a barrel and then weaving.

>>5495044
Arent spiders like nature's own yandere already?

>>5495202
Not really for females, they're mostly sluts. You can count redback males though, those somersault into the female's mouth in a willing attempt to get eaten.

Humans are boring. Getting to rape women by sticking your penis into their abdomen and having your flesh tunnel right to their ovaries is awesome. Instead, the only reproductive things humans do of note is bleed for several days.

If they're going to bleed, it could at least be from the fuckering they got.

This made me think. If we could produce strong web from our genitalia, we still might not be able to leave our full body weight on it. Because this might occur.
>>5493711
Also dick might snap off.

>>5495308
What is a bed bug doing on /jp/, don't you have people to parasitize?

Unless bed bugs all secretly browse 4chan while they're hiding in crevices during the day.

>>5495308
Yea, why cant i weave my web cum love garden, use it to attract hot spider chicks and do the flesh tunnel rape thing.

Thousands of spiders spun giant web in texas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnO_QAqq8W8
"Nobody knows why spiders have joined forces"

When we are all done with parasiting, masturbating and learned how to spin our own web. We should join forces like them and cover San Fransisco under wide /jp/ web.

>>5495311
Left hanging from one's balls. Ouch.

Y'all ever heard of Machiavellian Intelligence Hypothesis?

Basically, we didn't evolve our renowned intelligence because that helped us build tools.

No, we evolved our great intelligence so that we could outfox other humans in getting mates.

>>5495722
Bah, that is false. All intelligent people are those who get laid the least.

>>5495202

They prefer the term "Yamdere", named after their newly-discovered queen.

>>5495722
I'm sure having a need to hunt for food had a hand in it too. All the predators in the animal kingdom have to be smarter than their prey after all.

>>5495087
Noo... We would crucify him in jealousness. Then make him somesort of saint.

>>5495722
But Africans never evolved the making tools point and they have more babbies than anyone else. Granted most of them are products of rape, but still.

>>5495846
>rape

Rape is a valid choice!

>>5493652

Why does this turn me on so much.

I want to find out what it tastes like.

>>5498524
No idea. Never yet tasted spider web. Should i give it a try?

Who even thought in first place that Yamame would make web from there. I dont believe that is because it would be the most natural choice.
Touhou's fanbase sure is perverted.

I remember that one short comic with Wriggle pulling Yamame's web out of her and accidentally taking her spinneret out.

>>5498800
Mean this?
>>5493711

>>5498840
It had a second part I think.

>>5493627
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vczksvdyzpyel m phis hpro ixegwahl u

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rbfv achkawdui l il oovbh gaj q qctv d

>>5495202
>>5495753
Did you mean: Yarndere?

>>5498845

>>5498699

If you've never yet tasted spider web by accident, you need to go outside more often. Spoiler: it is not pleasant.

pic related.

>>5499089
Oh, right. But i dont really have tasted it. Or at least i didnt taste anything.

>>5499089
Heh, troll is redback.

this thread is strangely educating and arousing

This thread is still on so. Have more visual aid.

>>5499398
Got to admit. This is quite unique thread on /jp/

>>5499530
It's why Yamame threads are so seldom. We wouldn't want to over indulge ourselves and spoil this delicacy.

My, this thread is still alive?

>>5495688
In some wasps, the female is wingless, so dispersal becomes something of a problem. The solution comes in form of the male, who does have wings and flies while carrying the female around during mating using his genitals. While not exactly hanging by the balls, carrying someone else using them (well, the penis rather) looks possible.

>>5499109
It is believed to be something of a cure though, used as natural gauze. Tasmanian cave spider makes a two-layered thermos for its eggs to resist fungal and bacterial attack (the eggs take forever to hatch, so they need that, the animal itself also lives to record ages, I remember hearing 40 years. ) It was also used to patch up nerves, since spider silk is readily taken in and do not cause immune response. Here's the link, if anyone's interested.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16989736

And sorry for forgetting what should've been the first thing to come to mind about web and weaving, there are (partial) spider silk clothes.

>Researchers, lead by Masao Nakagaki, at Shinshu University, Japan have succeeded in creating a silk thread that is stronger, softer and more durable than conventional silk by injecting silkworm eggs with genes of the spider. The silkworms that hatch weave cocoons containing 10% spider protein. The dragline silk is said to have many uses, such as: bulletproof vests, sutures after an operation, tennis rackets, fishing line, and nets. A Japanese manufacturer named Okamoto has begun developing commercial applications for the spider silk, and plans to release extra-thin, durable spider socks by year 2010.

>you are now aware that spiders spin their webs from their ass

Oh, and I forgot those.

http://www.physorg.com/news194539934.html

It's perfectly possible to swap some protein found in cum with a silk protein gene so you produce web/cum. Wouldn't be durable enough to swing around with, though!

>>5499814
So it is already this possible to cum web! Neet's lair is gonna get new look.

> extra-thin, durable spider socks by year 2010.

What about spider pantyhose?

lol it would be official /jp/ attire, shave your legs and get your Yamame pantyhose on.

>>5499814 wtf? I wonder what kind of creeps we get to have on earth when people keep messing with those genes. Spider goats... Goddamn it science!

>>5501195
More like Hatsune socks.

Hatsune's design borrows from golden orbweavers (which were used for the spider socks), for Yamame I remember reading she's similar to a cross spider.

>>5501195
Hrhh.... So very creepy...

/jp/ tailors general

But if you turned your sperm into web. That would mean you couldnt have babies!

>>5503090

Why is Yamame so cute?

>>5503586
Because spiders tend to be that way. Hairier the better.

>>5493627

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bnrnjltm p ip jegh h aowhgvgy ut zswm

Archive?

>>5503992
http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/jp/thread/5493628

/jp/ autoarchives.

>>5505179
Stop being a dumbfuck.

Thread-saving bump　　　　　　

Good heavens, how many bumps do you intend to do?

Oh well, since this thread is here, here's Fabre making fun of spiders. It's kind of cute.

http://www.efabre.net/chapter-iii-the-narbonne-lycosa

Fabre is a great bully, though. You see, some insects follow a very strict set of movements during events as mundane as delivering a prey item to the nest, as is the case of a certain wasp, who drops her cricket quarry to burrow into her nest, only to reappear a bit later to pick the unmoving prey up.

If the prey does move, however, a fatal exception error occurs. After reappearing from her nest, instead of picking up the cricket, the wasp aborts her actions, moves the cricket to the "correct" position and burrows back to inspect her nest again.

You can repeat that as long as you want, and apparently Fabre did it about 40 times.

Picture is a wolf spider sunning her eggs.

>12 years old
>See massive spider running across kitchen floor
>Stab it with pencil or something
>It explodes
>Baby spiders go running everywhere
>Most of them die within a few feet
>My face

>>5509613
Why the multiple breasts?

>>5509518
That is what you get for being child psychopath.

Thread-saving bump　　　 　

I like to see that you are taking good care of my thread.

How do i cummed web?

>>5494179
Link to raw anyway?