/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I fucking love pasta!

I'd kill to have that problem. Cool story, bro.

resistance is futile

rape while she's in the shower, she'll leave you alone

cool story bro

LIVING THE DREAM

Well, try your hardest to like her, and avoid any bad end flags you may see. Good luck.

Touch her tits.

>>5357358
Not fucking pasta. You can run searches for this, I just typed this shit out now. You won't see this anywhere else...

she hot?

ITT: Hikkis who ignore their own problems and point to other peoples instead.

Stop living in denial! That is all :3

>>5357362
well that's sound advice.

what if she likes that kind of thing? his problems would multiply.

I know this is pasta and probably fake even, but I would make her become my waifu. I shall sculpt her into something lovable.

Penis in pooper, it's your only option

Like I said resistance is futile. I have experience with this.

>>5357365
I'd be cheating on my waifu then. I can never love her as much as I love my waifu, and I've never liked her anyway. She always tries getting into my interests so she can gave common stuff to make conversation about. To mess with her, I gave her a bunch of galge to play when she asked for crap I like. I was expecting her to lose interest in them and not finish more than one, but she fucking read through them all and asked me about my choices and why I picked them first. Then she tried to do that "tickle" crap from Kira kira. I'm pretty ticklish, so she did get me, but I never tickled her back like she hoped. I only figured out that's what she was going for when she mentioned it a few minutes after.

Fuck. You guys think you want this, it's so fucking annoying. I'm not even creeped out or anything, I'm just annoyed.

ya this screams fake.....

Just fuck her then dump her

>>5357421

>Ugh

That's not a good way to start off a thread you know.

>>5357407
Oh god, lucky bastard.

>>5357407
I bet she's not even real and you're just mentally insane from locking yourself in the same room for so long.

Enjoy your imaginary stalker.

>>5357407
Just tell her to get the fuck out or you'll call the cops.

fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake

>>5357446
I'm so lonely I'd pay to become schizophrenic.

I wouldn't mind having a stalker. At least it would mean that someone cares about me.

Similar experience to OP:

The girl wasn't a childhood friend or anything. We met in highschool, and were a bit friendly, but apparently her family was shit, her financial situation was shit, she was insecure as hell, and nobody aside from me even talked to her. We were both introverts, and only really talked to one another, and nobody else.

I was happy when we got together, but she got really obsessive after a while. She couldn't go 5 minutes without asking me if I loved her, because she was so insecure. She would always worry about how I feel about her, and worry that she was leading my life to hell. She was super clingy. In the end, I didn't break up with her.

We've been together for about a year, but she's getting more and more like OP's friend. She sneaks into my house with a copy of my key she made. She calls me constantly. She needs to be around me all the time. She doesn't ask much of me other than for me to just tell her that I still love her...

I mean, I do...but, I don't like what she's doing.

>>5357459

>>5357461
You lucky bastard.

ITT: clever setup for a ronery thread

inb4 300+ posts

>>5357437

Bible Games 2?

>>5357439

First thing that came to my mind. I just typed it out quickly. She's getting out of the shower in probably a minute or two, so I'll just have to check up on this thread every few minutes and hope I can read through responses if I distract her with something.

>>5357447

I would, but it seems my mother is on her side and is rooting for her and me to get together or some crap. Since I'm just a NEET who leeching off my mother, I don't exactly want to bite the hand that feeds me.


>>5357461

Exactly. It's one of those things that look good with 2D, and the idea sounds nice. Yeah, having someone who loves you to that extent, but in reality it's annoying as fuck. There's no end to the scenario. There's no scene skip button. There's no magical happy ending.

Just.
Fucking.
Annoyance.

>>5357344
ball up and tell her to fuck off
>>5357461
tell her your problems and ask for understanding. tell her you're her's and only her's. you won't go anywhere but you need your own personal time.

>>5357501
Who is your waifu anyway?

Just do it and leach off her instead of your mother. You can stick your dick in a real vagina and imagine your waifu!

>>5357508
Believe me. We've talked about it. But then she starts crying and thinks that I don't love her. I tell her that's not what I'm getting at, I just don't want her to be obsessive. Not in those exacts words, she's pretty frail so I try to be as nice as I can.

It's kind of a personality issue she has or something. She was like this a bit before we were dating, but I found it a bit cute then that she wanted to spend so much time with me.

>>5357501
get with her. I'm sure your waifu wants you to be happy, or at least in a physical relationship.

>>5357344
Pretend to have some interest in her.
a) Use her as an ona hole, continue on with 2D life.
b) Persuade her into kigurumi or other personal fetishes.

>>5357407
>I'd be cheating on my waifu then. I can never love her as much as I love my waifu, and I've never liked her anyway.
Then I guess either you or your waifu (or both, most likely) are going to die eventually.
Have a nice day.

I feel a pain in my chest.
You guys are lucky.
I want someone who cares for me.
You have everything.

Why don't you just tell her the only way you can love her is if she does ( insert freaky fetish here)
If she doesn't, and you freak her out, it's win
If she complies, it's still Win.

I suspect she might be a whale, or her physical appearance isn't too pleasing. Why else would you be acting like such a pussy. A real NEET/Hikki spends hours and hours thinking about fucked up shit they'd want to do with a 2D girl, here's your chance to get the next best thing. This is another reason i suspect you're full of shit, op.

>>5357468

>>5357553
I care about you.

>>5357562
As do I.

>>5357562
I love you.

>>5357565
You too.

>"I'll go out with you for 1 week if you take me to japan for the duration of summer"
Free vacation

>>5357568
>>5357566
>>5357565
>>5357562
>>5357553
Samefag

>>5357562
>>5357565
>>5357566
>>5357568

>>5357573
>going outside
I don't think so.

>>5357553
I kind medium wish you would die.

Reported.

>>5357573

Leading on a yandere is like leading on a bull. He's going to get brutally raped in that one week.

Do you really want copypasta-tan to experience this bad end?

>>5357581
I wish I would die too.
I'm too much of a pussy to suicide.

I went against my better judgment and read this whole thread.

I regret it.

>>5357501
Not sure if OP is lying or not, but he is right. My bro had a case similar to >>5357461 except all the problems were one-sided. She stalked him to ridiculous levels to the extent that the police were going to get involved (to arrest him thanks to her stupid fucking parents and the chance their sweet little child was being endangered by the only guy who actually defended her on a daily basis). After that she still stalked him up until the point that we moved (not because of her, that was a plus).

You guys are probably the same type of person who would win the lottery and then bitch about how you don't know what to buy first.

My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's an anime faggot like me

The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the fuck on

so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother)

so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was fucking hot

>ask to give you a footjob, wearing stripped knee socks, and cosplaying hatsune miku.
>she must call you oniichan the whole time.
>cum on her feet
>post pics

>>5357610

I know what to buy.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

As a matter of fact, i'll be going on the internet and NEETing it up, because i'll never be working again.

OP is a faggot.

>>5357617

OBJECTION

SHE CALLED YOU OLDER BROTHER
YOU CALLED HER OLDER SISTER

!!!

TIME PARADOX

>>5357554
Because I don't know, she'd probably do whatever fetish I tell her. I thought I could throw her off with a similar stunt by giving her galge when she bugged me to give her stuff I liked (expecting anime, I guess), but she proved my expectations wrong, and in the end it helped her get a better idea of the characters I go for.

She's not fat, and not ugly. Not attractive either, at least not to me. She's probably what most people would call average. I've never been attracted to a 3D girl in my life though. My first crush was Sailor Mercury, and from then on I've only liked 2D women.

Responding to more later, I guess.

>>5357617
Mega-cool story that is totally fictional, and never happened,... Brah.

>>5357629
You lucky bastard.

>>5357617

I bet you don't even know what older brother is in Japanese.

Ah, fuck. I thought /jp/ers were like me! Useless individuals that were ignored by everybody? Fine!! I don't need you guys, I'll be just fine playing games all by myself!

;_;

>>5357629
Does she have a big Jewish nose?

OP, give her a chance. You're knocking off what you haven't even tried, man. Tell her you'd be willing to give her a trail period. See if she'd actually get into your wildest fetishes. Tell her your most bizarre fetishes. If she thinks you're a creep, then good, she'll get over you. If not, then good, she's willing to do things a majority of other girls would never do.

You're on /jp/, so I know you have some sick or odd fetishes.

Tell her you've been fapping so much to 2D porn that you've developed erectile dysfunction. All she wants is sex so the solution is to claim you are incapable of the sexual act. She loses you win.

OP, I'm actually convinced there's some truth in there, even if you're exaggerating.

Seriously, go for her. Even if you don't actually like her. You're not disgusted by her, are you? Like, gag at the thought of touching her?

If you're just picky and don't particularly like her sexually, but at the same time don't find her unattractive, then just do it anyway. You may find yourself getting into her when your body naturally realizes that she's an okay looking female, and she does indeed want you.

i find it hard to believe that one would be so "in love" with a "waifu" to turn down a real girl.
i mean, not being interested in 3d is one thing, but being madly in love with a waifu? i think that is limited to 2chan/futaba

>>5357644
Actually, I'm some what of an attractive person, and i have a outgoing and very funny personality. I had many girls in high school. I knew i was always different though, inside I somewhat hated everyone around me. The contradiction, the hypocritical things they would say, being belittled by people that i knew didn't deserve the respect, the monotony of just waking up every morning and doing the same task. Needless to say, I sort of hated my life, but i couldn't figure out why! My life was great.

Well in the 9th grade i got addicted to an Eroge/anime/manga. I had finally found an escape from reality! And from there my transition from normalfag to NEET started. Slowly stopped going to public school, cut all ties, burnt all bridges,etc. Due to me being popular in high school, my girl friend, friends, parents, teachers, made it difficult. contently visiting me, trying to "talk with me," I guess they thought i had some mental problem(I probably do)? Took about a year, but now they don't fuck with me anymore. I'm home schooled. been hikki for Four years. FEELS GOOD. Living the DREAM.

OP, the reason why I can tell this is a terrible troll is because you haven't even expounded on your wondrous waifu AT ALL, or even mentioned who she is! If you really were that blindly in love with one you'd be splurging adverbs of her radiance and expounding on how awesome she is for more than twice your original post.

Nice fail, try again some other time.

>>5357682

You couldn't even graduate high school? Seriously? You really do have a mental problem if hating people was so bad you can't even deal with it till graduation.

Well, it's not like you're going to ever have another occasion, if she's fine with it just take the sexfriends route.
If you ever change idea she'll be there.

>>5357646

No. She's Filipino.

>>5357661
>>5357674

I'd rather not give her a try.

>>5357675

2D love is pure love. I don't long for my waifu, I don't need to physically be with her. I love her for who she is, and I'm happy loving her for who she is. I love everything about her. Nobody can ever take her place in my heart. I love her like nobody else.

I say "cheating on my waifu," but I mean it more in the sense that I could never forgive myself for being with someone regardless of the circumstance. It's as if this is a fucking trail to test my commitment to my true love.

Do I just fucking give in and let her have her way just so she can stop bothering me? I can't even imagine what I would do if she turned out to be like >>535746 's girlfriend. No offense, Anon, but I wouldn't be able to deal with that at all.

She's sleeping right now, thankfully, so I actually have time to look through posts here again.

It's deep love

ITT: /jp/ 3D lovers come out of the closet. More at 11

>>5357706
>Filipino

Well fuck, I don't blame you for not wanting to touch her then. Better hide your dog before she eats it too.

>>5357706
Fuck her
Pretend it never happened.

>>5357711
>More at 11

>>5357686
I've no reason to name my waifu, If I did, I'd probably just get a "shit taste" repose or something. I already explained I didn't have time to fuck around. I needed to get my post out before she was in the shower. My waifu isn't the problem here. It's some girl who's obsessing over me.

>>5357706
>No. She's Filipino.

aw hell naw.
i fuckin' lol'd

-and on that note i am out of here

This thread amuses me so...

why can't i get a girl interested in me so.....

>>5357724
She's still in the shower?!

>>5357724
A real waifu lover loves waifus regardless

>>5357734
No, if you read my past posts, she got out of the shower for a bit. She came into my room and bothered my a little, then she decided to head off to bed.

This girl probably only likes you because you aren't giving in. Basically you're not acting normally. If you switch to acting like a normal person for a while she'll prolly back off and go away because you won't be interesting anymore... or something like that.

Just lost what I was writing because of shitty unstable connection, so here's a short summary.

It'll be simpler, easier, and just plain better for you if you either fall in love with her, or take advantage of her love for you. You're a NEET so I don't see you having any problems with your yandere any time in your life.

I'm not really into 3D but I'd probably go for it just for the osananajimi+yandere combo.

>>5357724
>obsessing over me
You're probably some greasy fucking neck-beard, there must really be something wrong with her.
You prefer 2D over 3D there is something obviously wrong with you.

Make up some crazy person logic to justify cheating on your waifu - "telling her the only way i would love her is if she fucked me in the ass with a dildoM it had to be done or she would not leave me be!"

if she's stupid enough to obess over you exploit her retardation to your benefit that's all i can really tell you.
That or just tell her to get the fuck out

tsundere > yandere

OP, why don't you just barricade your self in your room, blast some music on your headphones so you don't have to hear anything. eventually she will go away man.

She's sleeping? Cum on her face. If she wakes up during it, tell her you're doing it because you hate her. Cumming on someone's face doesn't have to be sexual, it can be disrespectful as well.

>>5357756
But she also has the childhood friend attribute, which trumps all.

What's wrong with Filipino girls?

>>5357344
Super awesome cool story bro.

Even I am not such a faggot to not even at least TRY and she what happens if you go for it.

>Cumming on someone's face doesn't have to be sexual, it can be disrespectful as well.
wut.

Why don't you just put a "keep out" sign on your bedroom door? She annoys you right? So why are you even giving her attention?

There are only two solutions here: Fuck her or fuck off. Choose whatever you like.

>>5357758

>Cumming on someone's face doesn't have to be sexual, it can be disrespectful as well.
wut.

>>5357766
Short, stubby, hairy, Mexicans with slanted eyes.

>>5357757
I think this is actually a good plan, op. Does your door have a lock? If you lock your door and ignore your problem, in this case, i think "it" might go away.

Hug her tightly

>>5357775
It's like spitting on someone with your dick.

if you don't give in she'll either kill you or kill herself. at the very least she'll end up with a drug problem and an abusive relationship.

Those deep love types will usually accept anything that the other person does.

Rape/cumming on her face/cumming inside will probably only make her more determined, because you're giving her attention. Leaving her be will probably be the most sure-fire strategy (given that calling the cops is not an option), but it will take some time (probably a couple years). She will increase her efforts to get you at first, so be prepared.

>>5357784
Unless he's a floorshitter, he'll have to leave his room at some point.

>>5357784
She has the key to my room. My mother doesn't like me being a social outcast. to my mother, my friend is the only hope I have left of getting out of my room and quitting the NEET lifestyle. So my mother trusts her or some shit. She told my mother how she feels about my before telling me how she feels. My mother has been hiding it for years, apparently.


Most people seem to say to just take advantage of her. I'm probably sleeping in a bit, but I probably won't be able to sleep anyway since I'm pretty agitated right now.

There's this guy who used to start regular threads about yandere ownership and maintenance. You should try to find them on the archive, they might help you out.

>>5357788
Or saying hello with your dick.

>>5357798
I've shit out my window before. I didn't want to leave my room and the toilet was too far.

True story.

>>5357804
No it's not.

Damn, OP. You really need to fuck her.

>>5357809
That's somewhat impressive. I've heard of people pissing out their windows, but not shitting.
Were you up several stories, or was this on the ground floor?

>>5357706
Do you live in the Philippines? If so and this girl is really in love with you, I think you should take her, you'll have a loyal wife and mealticket for life. You can continue being a NEET while she go work for both of you. She'll never leave you even if you beat her or whore her out.

Dunno if it's the same for Filipino girls in other countries. Probably not since most of them I met turned out to be massive sluts.

She's Filipino? Isn't that like, half Asian half some other shit? I know there was this Filipino girl who looked like she was Chinese. I can usually differentiate between Korean, Japanese, and Chinese, so I'm not the "ARR ROOK SAME" kind of person.

>>5357831
They're like Chinese niggers.

>>5357835
they're more spic than nigger