/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>5312136
Hey, Natsuhi is many things, but she is NOT a murderer!

That servant slipped.

>>5312145
Funny, similar thing happened to Asumu.

nappi is so moe~

>>5312145
"cough-cough" Bullshit "cough"

>>5312145
Natsuhi committed double-homicide.

That servant and the babby.

Umineko is like Arrested Development....
WITH MURDEEEEEEEEER!

>>5312196
who the fuck is babby?

>>5312221
Battler. But not THAT Battler. The OTHER Battler.

>>5312221
Asumu's Battler. Who may or may not be alive.

>>5312225
That, by far, is the biggest crime in Umineko.

WHO THE FUCK NAMES TWO DIFFERENT CHILDREN "BATTLER" GOD FUCKING DAMN IT THAT'S COMPLETELY FUCKING RETARDED

>>5312225
Jessica?

>>5312225
Man.. Umineko fans sure making something weird come up words....

It's kinda retarded don't you think?

Because I dont like the word "babby" more often

>>5312245
Shh! That's for the next episode!
....Well at least they don't know about the reveal that Bern is actuallly Asum-
FUCK IGNORE THAT

So we have Meta-Battler, Battler, Juuza-Battler, and Asumu Battler.

Getting kinda crowded in here.

>>5312273
>Bern
Don't you mean Featherine with that number ga-
Yeah, ignore that

So, er, why is Jessica under suspicion for being the other Battler?

>>5312282
next we'll have evil battler, nuclear battler, and chocolate battler

>>5312300
Well, similar age, conditions are ripe for it(Natsuhi suddenly getting pregnant reeks of a miracle, and Umineko miracles tend to magic which tend to be lies, really), and the three red texts showing that Ushiromiya Battler was born from Asumu Ushiromiya, Ushiromiya Battler is not Asumu Ushiromiya's son, and Battler is not Asumu's son kinda leave the way open for a female.

>>5312323
If Evil Battler isn't Battler with a twirly mustache and a monocle I shall be disappoint.

>>5312300
who do you prefer, Kanon?
Shkanonbatrice isn't just the worst thing ever.

"Say Kyrie about Asumu having that stillbirth? Turns out i got it wrong".

>>5312323
I'm rooting for Brazilian Battler myself. He'd be called Batallador.

Gib mony or I deny you euhihaeuhiahueahueahuiaehuae

Plot twist reveals the secret lab of Rokkenjima island where all the Battler's are created.

My god

The whole fanbase is even retarded as well!

>>5312372
Oh, don't worry! Your son is right here! Yeah Battler has been your son all along I just decided to tell you now lol

>>5312363
Batallador was in spanish.

>>5312387
It sounds good enough for Portuguese.

>>5312375
Telling you man.

The whole series revolves around the human genome program.

Battler isn't a name so much as a title. Tons of Battlers to take over the world, to blot out the son!

The end of the series is when Solid Battler(with the inferior Kyrie genes) and Liquid Battler(with the superior Asumu genes) fight over the use of this weapon.

Krauss is so ~moe~

It's funny how Krauss was made out to be the biggest dick of the family in EP1.

>>5312387
"Luchador" is a closer translation.

"Batallador" either does not exist or you just made up.

>>5312385
Oh god do want that Rudolf

>>5312401
So how is Big Boss? Rudolf or Kinzo.

HEY KYRIE
REMEMBER HOW YOU WERE UPSET AT LOSING YOUR CHILD?
WELL, ASUMU KINDA SORTA WAS THE ONE TO MISCARRY, BUT I LIKED HER MORE SO I GAVE HER YOUR CHILD.
YEAH, BATTLER, ASUMU IS NOT YOUR MOM, KYRIE IS.

>>5312410
If the second Battler yet lives, it's due to Krauss's influence. We thought originally he was a genius sociopathic bastard, but he turned out to be a messiah like dumbass.

>>5312431
God, this man is such a jerk. I'm so glad I'm not his child!

>>5312431
Trollface.
FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOU RUDOLLLLLLLLLLLLF

>>5312452
I know what you're getting at, but i'd just like to say that no matter what.
He has had the desire to tap that ass.

>>5312452
Oh crap! Jessica being a lesbian makes sense now! The Rudolf genes compel one to mack on any attractive female close to your own age!

>>5312133

"w" + "n" - "n" + "w" + "f" - "f" + "w" + "z" - "z" + "." + "l" - "l" + "a" + "v" - "v" + "n" + "i" - "i" + "o" + "p" - "p" + "n" + "p" - "p" + "t" + "j" - "j" + "a" + "g" - "g" + "l" + "j" - "j" + "k" + "k" - "k" + "." + "m" - "m" + "s" + "h" - "h" + "e" + "j" - "j"

>>5312462
You know, he's at the very least her biological Uncle.
That still is kinda... not good.

>>5312475
How close are we talking, Because Battler & Maria...

>>5312135

"w" + "t" - "t" + "w" + "d" - "d" + "w" + "u" - "u" + "." + "y" - "y" + "a" + "l" - "l" + "n" + "y" - "y" + "o" + "c" - "c" + "n" + "g" - "g" + "t" + "o" - "o" + "a" + "b" - "b" + "l" + "e" - "e" + "k" + "v" - "v" + "." + "l" - "l" + "s" + "o" - "o" + "e" + "g" - "g"

>>5312134

"w" + "k" - "k" + "w" + "m" - "m" + "w" + "n" - "n" + "." + "b" - "b" + "a" + "o" - "o" + "n" + "i" - "i" + "o" + "e" - "e" + "n" + "c" - "c" + "t" + "o" - "o" + "a" + "s" - "s" + "l" + "b" - "b" + "k" + "f" - "f" + "." + "p" - "p" + "s" + "t" - "t" + "e" + "b" - "b"

>>5312511
Well, I think it's an age requirement.

YOU MUST BE 16 YEARS OR OLDER TO RIDE(Battler's cock).

Hence why Battler tells Maria to come back in ten years.

>>5312527
Maria is 9 though.

>>5312527
Adult Maria is fine too.

>>5312537
She'd be Ange 2.0 in psychotics though.

>>5312537
Some how i can see Rena & Maria becoming good friends in the nut house.

>>5312547
She could just get a job as a maid.
Shannon did that, things worked out swimmingly.

>>5312567
With a dellusional madam, a retarded master and a (insert great suspension of disbelief here because it would be retarded if she didn't knew) ignorant milady, what would go wrong?

So anyways, at the end of the series, who will get the bicycle?

>>5312580
>Ignorant
Dohohoho, the term you were looking for was "lesbian".

>>5312582
>bicycle
Rosa-train will open its doors, bike will be left alone.

>>5312582

>>5312588
>implying they are not the same
Ask Cirno.

>>5312590
Shannon vs Rosa in a slut off.

Who wins?

>>5312607
Cirno doesn't know about sex, silly Touhoufag.

>>5312588
So Jessica is a closet lesbian (get it), George is an angry virgin.
Maybe Battler & Maria aren't so crazy.

>>5312611
Rosa doesn't need to create personalities to cope with it.
She wins by default, also her vagina is bigger, can fit more cocks, dildos and fingers, and this is canon.

>>5312621
Every touhou is a lesbian
Cirno is stupid
Cirno is a touhou
Ergo, every touhou is a retarded lesbian

>>5312624
>closet lesbian
JESSICA IN DA CLOSET
SHE WON'T GET OUT DA CLOSET
IM GETTING VERY ANGRY
AND I PULL OUT MY GUN

>>5312643
GENIUS!

>>5312132

"w" + "u" - "u" + "w" + "g" - "g" + "w" + "n" - "n" + "." + "q" - "q" + "a" + "l" - "l" + "n" + "y" - "y" + "o" + "b" - "b" + "n" + "r" - "r" + "t" + "f" - "f" + "a" + "z" - "z" + "l" + "q" - "q" + "k" + "r" - "r" + "." + "e" - "e" + "s" + "o" - "o" + "e" + "s" - "s"

>>5312626
No this is Kanon.

>>5312682
I know people disagree, but i think that little trap is Battler best ally, along with Gohda.

>>5312702
The little reverse trap is THE MURDERER
Shannon is also THE MURDERER

They should say HEY BATTLER WE'RE FUCKING INSANE PLEASE KILL US OR RESTRAIN US SO WE DON'T KILL EVERYONE

>>5312724
Everyone wants a slice of this cake, most people could of done it.

>>5312724
I think we have someone to thank for their lack of cooperation.

>>5312742
You don't get the gold by killing people.

Sure I could see a tussle between Rosa and Kyrie for it, but the premeditated murders go beyond gold. It goes into the INSANITY of Beatrice.

>>5312742
Screw the gold give me Eva.

>>5312747
What would Jessica have to gain by making Shkanonlanondingdong all wacky in the noggin?

>>5312134

"w" + "m" - "m" + "w" + "c" - "c" + "w" + "v" - "v" + "." + "i" - "i" + "a" + "m" - "m" + "n" + "a" - "a" + "o" + "m" - "m" + "n" + "b" - "b" + "t" + "f" - "f" + "a" + "z" - "z" + "l" + "t" - "t" + "k" + "o" - "o" + "." + "s" - "s" + "s" + "r" - "r" + "e" + "g" - "g"

>>5312821
Pussy. Tons, and tons, of pussy.

>>5312831
If you're saying sweet pussy is the motive, then you may as well call this Rudolf culprit.

>>5312844
The entire thing is a competition between Jessica, Battler, and Rudolf to get the most pussy.

The competition goes horribly, horribly wrong.

YOU
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR GAY BAR GAY BAR

/jp/ I'm really sorry to but in on your discussion, but I've recently become interested in Umineko and would like to play it. Could anyone give me a download link so I can try it out?

>>5312221
EP 5, (major spoilers if you mind/haven't played and care)


Natsuhi said she was given a baby from Kinzo. She killed it and the servant carrying it, she said she couldn't stand that it wasn't her own.


>>5312939
Witch-Hunt has a link to the trial with instructions, witch-hunt.com. Its somewhere on there.

>>5312886