/jp/ - Otaku Culture

HOLY FUCK OP!!

Did you get the tooth out?

I dreamt that while doing a pokemon adventure, I would be catching touhous and naming them and go off to defeat the bosses.

>>5033216
No, it turns out anal cured it just as well. in fact, there were medical studies proving it as well

>>5033208
>>5033216
Go away.

>flailing about with a knife and gun in hand.
Anonymous, do you want me to teach you about CQC?

I had a dream I was a panda in the airforce

never had touhou ones before.
instead, i see many realistic 3D fantasy dreams
like, im in a forest and there's bunch of animals and i suddently started to scream "BANZAI" and the animals starts screaming it too.

>>5033222
Bosses of what?

OP confirmed for weeaboo faggot

I dreamt I was a bear. It was quite cool.

I daydream all day about them Touhous.

So when I go to bed there is no imagination left.

So no.

>>5033278
Who did you maul?

>>5033286
This.

>>5033278
This bears repeating.

>ghost girl
>trying to kill herself

wat

>>5033310
I dunno.
But I failed a few times and the blood spatter was horrific. So naturally next time I tried I had sex with her.

>>5033208
I dreamt once that Yukari was following me around in her gap and just watching me. It was fucking creepy.

Well I'll make it brief: I had a dream once that I was in Alice's house and did something that made her mad (don't know what though), and then feeling guilty and crafted some dolls and made them do some kind of show for her and with tears in her eyes she looked at me and said something like "You didn't have to" and smiling at the same time.

The thing I remember the most is that I wake up and start to feel really, really down because it was a dream.

>>5033222
Touhoumon?

/jp/, how amazing would it be if they invented a device that made you dream whatever you wanted? Think about- you could live in Gensokyo and live out any fantasy and the best part about it is that it will be completely realistic and feel just like the real thing.

And you could go online and download other people's versions of Gensokyo., like in one of them Sanae will be a good girl and then in another Sanae will be a slut. What do you think about that?

>>5033426
What if someone makes a Gensokyo where KoG has eradicated everything, and you download it?

Enjoy the nightmares.

>>5033426
There's always lucid dreaming.

I don't know if I'd want to lucid-dream of Gensokyo though. I mean, it is supposed to be a paradise existing through disbelief, a dream-like world. Call me a wuss but to dream of something like that would be too... real, too scary.

/jp/ will burn me at the stake for bringing up this other franchise, but:

I dreamt I was Iku at a university campus filled with Hetalia characters. It was a pretty uncomfortable dream since Iku, being a magical loli with a pink frilly dress and a silly hat, didn't at all fit in with a group of anthromorphized gay male countries. Everything was just awkward.

Man that dream was a disappointment. Finally I was a Touhou and I didn't even get to fly. ;_;

>>5033453
>Gensokyo
>Nightmares

This sounds about right to me.

>>5033310
Bitches don't know about Yuyuko's backstory.

h + + P : // @ t . k í m M 0 à . $ 3 /

>>5033466
How ironic, because Iku's power is to fit in with absolutely any situation.

>>5033498
Not so much. It's all OP's fault for not clarifying.

Also Yuyuko suicided because of toothache.

>>5033545
>Yuyuko suicide because of toothache

Hahaohwow.jpg

>>5033545
how is that my fault
what needed clarifying

H t t p : // @ + . K í M M O @ . s 3 /

I had a strange touhou dream last night, actually. I dreamed about talking about it IRL...

For some reason I was back at college and it was Halloween, and around this random dorm door I see pictures of Marisa and Meiling posted, and instead of normal Halloween "ghost" decorations, there were little Shanghais hanging up.

This scrawny looking girl comes up the steps and it looks like that's her room. I go "Hey, Is this your room?" to confirm, and she says yes and looks at me expectantly. I sorta grin like a jackass and say "So what's with all the Touhou?" and her eyes bug out. She says something like "oh my god you know about it!" and randomly hugs me. I then realize that she's socially awkward as hell, and as I say something about Marisa she tries to kiss me. I pull away, and then she just flips the fuck out apologizing and being all embarrassed and saying things like "I should have known you wouldn't like me..."

Finally I just say "Chill the fuck out, I just wanted to talk to you about goddamned Touhou!" and walk away.

It was weird.

>>5033545
>Yuyuko suicided because of toothache.

Has ZUN confirmed this?

>Develop the ability to lucid dream
>Live with waifu

You guys should really look into lucid dreaming. Do it properly and you'll go to gensokyo while remaining conscious.

>>5033632
>In the beginning, Yuyuko was only able to control some dead spirits. Unconsciously, that power grew stronger, eventually becoming the ability to invoke death. Terrified by her own ability, she commited suicide.

From Yuyuko's official PCB profile

I haven't had any dreams about Touhou, but I did have a trippy-as-hell dream in which one Touhou briefly appeared. Here's how it went:

I dreamed that I was walking through Times Square when some creepy old guy burst out of a manhole and insisted that I take the burlap sack he was holding. I reluctantly agreed, and looked inside it - it was filled with about 30 copies of Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. At this moment, all the monitors in Times Square shifted to a government announcement stating that Tatsunoko vs. Capcom was now outlawed, and any copies would be confiscated. Then the Power Rangers theme started playing, and Freddy Krueger, Dio Brando, Spengbab, the War Machine, and Komachi Onozuka started chasing me through NYC trying to recover the games. After a frantic, Scooby-Doo-esque pursuit, Spengbab said, "Look's like it's time to call in the big guns! Dio, get back here!" Dio did his trademark "ZA WARUDO - WRYYYYYYYYYY" combo, and Kermit the Frog was driving the steamroller that fell from the sky. They all climbed in, and ran me over (at which point I woke up).

Feels... conflicted, man.

>>5033657
Maybe ZUN was lying, and OP was seeing what really happened.

>>5033722
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you are right.

>>5033208
Eiki-sama was in a dream of mine about 3 weeks ago. It was so long ago that I can't remember what she was doing in it.

>>5033737
Probably preaching at you

>>5033609
Sounds like you dreamt about the average /a/ poster.

I dreamt Yuyuko was not fat.

>>5033804
Behold, the world's only 1 ton plush doll.

>>5033804
can't read shit in that pic, captain. But those plushies must be really light.

i had a dream my head was on patchys lap. It was soft and warm. I think she might be even softer then yomoe just because of the lack of muscle tone.

>>5033804
Okay, that plushie is fucking adorable.

I got dominated by Yukari in my Touhou dream...

For some reason she was sitting in my room next to me, eating a popsicle. Out of nowhere she jabbed me in the shoulder gently and said "Hey, turn on the a/c. It's too hot in here." I didn't feel like it, so I protested. I turned around to face her- and saying nothing, she started sucking on her popsicle in an extremely suggestive manner, staring at me unflinchingly. I immediately became aroused and, foolishly, let my raging hard on get the best of me. I said something to her along the lines of how the a/c would get turned on a lot faster if she'd suck on something other than her popsicle.

She slapped me. Hard. It stung like mad, and tears welled up in my eyes. All of a sudden I just felt so violated, so dirty. "Don't talk to a lady like that." she said gruffly, and shoved the popsicle that was slick with her spit into my mouth. Suddenly instead of humiliation, all I felt was an overwhelming sense of desperation for her approval. I guess she was toying with borders somehow to do this. She got up and opened a gap and told me she would leave me for good. Teary eyed, I blubbered that I would turn the a/c on for her. She turned around and grinned at me smugly.

"There's my boy." she said warmly, and I obediently set the thermostat lower. She brushed her hair aside and approached me, embracing me. "See," she whispered in my ear, "It's so much nicer when you listen to me." She pulled back and looked deep into my eyes with a mischievous grin.

I woke up cumming in my bed. I've been made into her bitch. ;_;

I had a dream that I was in a classroom full of Touhous.

The teacher said we had to get in groups of 2 to do some work, so all the Touhous were scrambling to get in groups.

There was an odd number of students in the class, and I ended up alone.

Fuck my life.

>>5034116
Write more.

>>5034116

>>5034132

That was the end of my dream! I wish there was more!

>>5034225
You disgusting masochist.
Make something up, then.

>>5034116

>>5034252

alright alright, I'll writefag it up. It'll be a continuation of my first post.

I'll bump when done.

>>5034312

>bumpity bump bump

"I'm not stupid," Yukari says, "I know exactly what you want... you haven't touched yourself since I started living here, and you must be SO frustrated." You realize you're literally trembling with anticipation, hanging on her every word. Is she finally going to get into your bed with you? You start to drift off in thought, thinking about the sensation of her silky smooth skin against yours, and...

"Ran-saaama!" Yukari shouts playfully. Out of nowhere, her nine tailed shikigami appears, looking calm and collected as ever. "Yeees?" Ran replies, mimicing Yukari's playful tone. "Look at this boy," Yukari starts. "I've been a bit mean to him." She bites her lower lip and begins to walk around behind you. "He hasn't been able to find release in such a long time, because of me, and he's all... congested." She reaches around your waist and grabs a hold of your crotch. You flinch slightly and Yukari giggles. "Ran, show this little boy the best release he's had yet."

Ran blushes slightly, looking you up and down. You turn beet red with embarassment and start to stammer "I- I- well, I, uh..." Yukari vanishes into a gap and you're left standing there with Ran. Completely cool as ice, she unfastens her robe and lets it drop to the floor, standing in front of you in nothing but lingerie now. Her body is incredibly fit, and you find yourself standing there, mouth agape, with a catastrophically large erection. Ran slinks up to you and drapes her arms around your shoulders, wrapping her tails around you as well. You're absolutely speechless, but Ran breaks the silence. "My only rule- you don't get to pull on my tails." she says.

>>5034607


Totally taken aback, you have no idea where to even begin. Ran notices this, though, and has no problem taking the lead. Grabbing your one hand by the wrist, she places it on her large, ample breast. You're still blushing like mad, it doesn't help when she eagerly says "It's not often I've been allowed to make love to a human..." You regain your composure, though, and begin to massage her breasts with one hand as your other hand slides down her midriff and into her panties. Her face flushes and she leans in eagerly to kiss you. "Take those off," you tell her, gesturing towards her bra and panties. She obediently does so as you also strip and sit down in your chair. She sits on your lap, straddling you. Her fuzzy tails feel incredible as she gently tickles you here and there on your bare skin.

As you start to thrust up into her, her eyes briefly roll back for a split second and she gasps for breath- she's clearly enjoying this as well. You stroke her tails gently and she blushes hard, increasing the rate at which she is riding you. She's unimaginably tight, and it feels nothing short of incredible every single time you push yourself into her. You hadn't noticed until now, but she actually has a cute little pair of fox ears atop her head, and just to see what she does, you gently scratch behind them. This drives her up the wall with pleasure and she blurts out "Oh god, fuck me from behind!" Suprised by the sudden dirty talk but not at all interested in protesting, you both frantically stand up as she leans over the bed, lifting her tails up and exposing her ass.

As you hump into her from behind you find that her tails are providing a bit more of a distraction than you would hope. Careful not to pull them, you try to arrange them in a way that is comfortable. Despite your best efforts, though, her hairs are still going up your nose and in your mouth. At this point though, you could hardly give a shit.

>>5034616

Eventually you realize you're not going to be able to stop yourself from coming very soon, so you balance Ran on the edge of the bed and thrust into her at a breakneck pace, almost at climax. She scratches at your back hard, leaving criscrossing lines of crimson all across you, but whatever pain you feel is completely washed away by the incredible pleasure of fucking Ran. She grits her teeth and grunts, panting and moaning like an animal. Her eyes roll back once more and you climax inside of her, gush after gush. Absolutely breathless, you roll off of her only to realize that Yukari was sitting there the entire time, watching you.

Ran is still laying on the bed next to you, chest heaving with every breath, slightly glistening with sweat. However, Yukari seems to not even notice her presence as she talks to you. She fans herself brisquely before snapping the fan shut. "My my," she says, "that was quite the performance! I must admit, I was very... Impressed." The faintest hint of a blush dances across her face and is gone. "Now," she huffs, "Put some pants on. It's inappropriate- I'm a lady, remember?"

>[fin]

b to the u-m-p

If we're swapping masochist Toohoo dream pastas I've got an old one saved here.

Dreams, /jp/, dreams. Always abnormal, except when they're not, dreams can speak volumes about a person's inner workings. Mine tend to be weird, even when they don't touch on my current personal issues.

Last night, however, I had the strangest dream of my life. There was several hours of irrelevant madness, the crap that usually occupies my dreamscape (wars, urban combat, fighting scenes, crazy space battles, etc). None of that seemed strange to me, until at one point, I remember everything fading into darkness. It was like being blind. But then, a voice began calling out my name, at first the voice was all around me, but then as I focused on it the voice began to become more centralized, until I finally realized the voice was IN MY OWN HEAD. It was a very smooth, silky voice, but there was an unnerving quality to the emotions behind the words, something of a cross between malice and twisted pleasure. I collapsed to my knees and covered my ears, to no effect. The voice laughed at my futility, and then the darkness around me began to brighten, until my world was a strange hue of blue. Almost as if someone had tinted my glasses blue, except even when I took them off, the color remained.

A figure emerged from the blue, at first it was just a dark silhouette, but soon it was close enough that I was able to discern details about it, or should I say, her. She had short, purplish-pink hair a blue dress with purple trim, a long purple skirt, and eyes that could stare into my soul. That's when it hit me, EYES! She had a 3rd eye, contained within a red series of tubes connecting into various parts of her body. That's when I realized I was face to face with Satori.

Oh. Shit.

>>5034841
((No more satori pictures. I don't collect any Satori. Sorry.))

As she approached me, I tried to back away, but I found myself unable (or unwilling..?) to move. She walked up until we were face to face, our noses almost touching. Staring into my eyes, she began to recount every last regret I've ever held in my life. She listed off the thousands of mistakes I've made that have resulted in another person being hurt, physically or emotionally. She plunged even deeper into my soul, tearing out my darkest secrets, things that shame me so much I can't even share them here, with Anon. Things that are so deeply buried in my psyche that even I often forget their presence, until a reminder like this comes along.

Then, as if adding insult to injury, she suddenly shoved me onto the ground. Except the ground wasn't there anymore, everything but Satori and myself had vanished. We were floating in a strange world of blue. Occasionally bubbles would float past, giving me some sort of sense of direction, but there was still a complete lack of anything. Just two people, alone in a void, nobody to hear my cries for help.

Satori tore my clothes off, and I couldn't do anything to stop her, she overpowered me at ever turn and before I knew it, she had removed her own clothes as well. She shoved me inside of her and began pumping and gyrating wildly. It was the worst sensation I've ever felt in my life, it was blinding pleasure mixed with extreme disgust, anxiety, and self-loathing. I felt like I wanted it, but at the same time, I felt that EVERYTHING about that was wrong, like I was betraying my own moral code, the very fiber of my existence.

>>5034858
As she pushed me closer and closer towards climax, she began to repeat my darkest secrets, and even began to speak of events that had yet to happen, things so evil that I fear that if they come to pass, my world will be changed forever. Eventually, she stopped talking and just stared into me, taking pleasure in (what I assumed was) the terribly delicious cocktail of emotions pouring through me.

Knowing my climax was seconds away, I tried to pull out, to get away in any way possible. She must've known, even planned for my attempt at escape, because she waited until I had almost gotten myself all the way out, and then her hips clamped down on my tip so hard that I could've sworn she had grown a set of teeth down there. I came, cum pouring into her, and I had never felt so disgusted in my life. It felt like I had been raped.

I woke up, got dressed, went to work, came home, and I STILL feel like shit. I loathe going to sleep tonight, I'm thinking about pulling an all nighter, just to get out of it. I don't want to face her again, I don't want to be violated like that.

Anyways, Satori thread.

I had a dream where I was mining in minecraft, Chen and Ran appeared behind me, then a creeper showed up. I caused a cave in, trapping the creeper in there with me, so that Ran and Chen could escape.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>"My only rule- you don't get to pull on my tails." she says.
Stop right there. Just handcuff me to the bed right now or else I'd do it on accident.

>>5034891
>Chen and Ran
>Extra Boss and Extra Midboss when together
>implying they need your help to escape a measly bomb
>implying you can cause cave-ins in minecraft

I had some kind of retarded ATHF/Touhou crossover dream recently.

From what I can piece together, Shake and Mokou set the town on fire, and Carl was in his house with Cirno, trying to keep cold. I think Senor Cardgage was in it at one point.

>>5034927

It's better when she trusts you not to do it.

>>5034607
>"My only rule- you don't get to pull on my tails." she says.
Son-a-bitch read my mind.

Seriously, I've always wanted to do this

>>5034624
>>5034616
>>5034607

god dammit, now I really need to fap again.

>>5034962
>>5034964
I don't feel the need to pull her tails but they're soft and cuddly and wrap around you and you never know what'll happen on accident.

Aw hell, I know what'd happen. I'd ejaculate prematurely without orgasm.

Well there I was one morning, just woke up and I noticed I was in Gensokyo when I felt something come over me... I felt it all around me... I've been waiting for this moment all my life, it's my destiny! There's a fire inside of me, it's waiting to come out now. No matter what, no matter how, I know I'll make it through somehow! Cause when the road feels too long, I'll still be holding on. I'm gonna keep on going, I know I'll be strong YEAH!

INDESTRUCTIBLE
I WON'T LET NOBODY BREAK ME DOWN
INDESTRUCTIBLE
NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME NOW
INDESTRUCTIBLE
GONNA, GONNA MAKE IT GONNA KEEP ON COMIN'
INDESTRUCTIBLE
THE LAST MAN STANDING
I'M WAITING FOR WHATEVER
I'M NEVER GIVING UP
NOTHING CAN BREAK MY SPIRIT
CAUSE IT'S INDESTRUCTIBLE

Fuck yeah, copypasta time

The first rays of the sun peaks in through the window. You sigh. Morning already? What the hell is she thinking? You bring the glass to your lips again, letting your tongue revel in the red, bitter liquid, though your mind takes no note of the taste. It stopped paying attention to it the moment you understood what you would be doing all night. The drinking process seemed to serve no other purpose than to reassure you that time wasn’t standing still. It was then you heard a faint noise from outside. Somebody ...singing? You could make out some words.
..the roughest, toughest ….…but Minnie ……….. big as a whale..
Suddenly the door slammed open.
“Hi-di hi-di hi-di *hic*”
You get up from your chair slowly, before exclaiming loudly; “Where the hell have you been, Suika?!”
She stops, looking at you confused for a second before replying “what’s it to you?”
“I’m your husband, goddamnit; I have the right to know what you were up to while I was sitting home all night waiting for you!”

“Well, for your information, I was ju- Hey! Why aren’t you making breakfast right now?! The sun is up, which means that my fucking bacon should already screaming for mercy in the frying pan!” she said, forcefully shifting the course of the conversation.
“W-what?! You haven’t even slept yet!” you answer defensively.
“You’re such a lousy husband” she says while picking up a bottle from the kitchen-counter.
“And you call yourself a lady, drinking whiskey for breakfast?”
She doesn’t reply, but walks slowly towards you, raising the bottle. The bottle flies through the air, and you acknowledge in your last conscious moment that you were wrong to assume she was going to drink that.

>>5035037
You slowly become aware of the fact that something is licking your forehead. You smile to yourself, knowing that it’s just your dog’s way of showing his love for you. But then you suddenly realize something. You don’t have a dog. You slowly open your eyes to meet the sight of your wife’s bosom and her arms at both sides of you. What the hell could she be doing? You move your arms to push her off, only to realize something is holding them together behind your back, by your wrists. You struggle against it for a second, before realizing your wife was looking at you, having noticed from your jerking motions that you were awake.“W-what the hell are you doing?!” you say.
“I couldn’t let the whiskey go to waste” she answered innocently.
“No, I mean, what did you do to my arms?”
“Oh, that. Well, if you’re not going to use those arms to make me breakfast, then you won’t need to be able to use them.”
“B-but..” you start, but pause, knowing even in your dazed state of mind that your wife was impossible to argue with when drunk.
“In fact, you have a little lesson to learn” she said, while moving down and starting to unbuckle his belt and taking his pants off.

>“In fact, you have a little lesson to learn” she said, while moving down and starting to unbuckle his belt and taking his pants off.
>his
sage

>>5035071
You smile to yourself, until you get pushed unto your stomach, and you realize your wife wasn’t really interested in your cock which was now pressing against the cold, wooden floor. A moment of inactivity gives you a chance to acknowledge how exposed your buttocks now are. But the awkward silence didn’t last long, as it was soon interrupted by the sound of a smack and a surprised yelp. Your belt had left a mark over your own ass. You are left with little time to brace for the next strike, as your wife wasn’t the kind to stop to savor the moment while drunk. For some reason, you imagined it would be more bearable if you counted, so you did. *smack* Two. *smack* Three. *smack* Four. But the stinging pain from each smack made it hard to concentrate on a simple task like counting. *smack* Five. *smack* Six. As the strikes continue, your will to count doesn’t. The last number you counted was eight, as the strikes continue to rain down uncounted. You were just barely aware of the tears escaping your eyes, as all your attention was focused on the unbearable pain of your ass.

>>5035037
>find and replace 'Suika' with 'Yuugi'
Now I'm not a pedo.

>>5035071

>change of narrative tense

God, I'm hard already.

>>5035095
Your perception of time was lost, so you had no way of knowing how long the torment had gone on when you notice she had stopped, and only the resulting soreness remained. She pushes you over on your back again, and you yelp as your sore bottom touches the floor.“See? That’s what happens when you don’t act like a good husband,” she says to you angrily, but with an expression to suggest she’s also pleased.
“B-but you didn’t even ask m-“ you start, but decide against it as you see her raise the belt again.
Satisfied with your silence, she decides to move on by lifting her dress and removing her underwear.
“What? You want to do that, here, in this position?” you say, despite knowing how straightforward she is when drunk.
“Shut up!” she answers, while bending down and holding your nose, forcing you to open your mouth to breathe, and then stuffing her underwear in your mouth. “You should know it’s your responsibility as my husband.”She moves down to your crotch, and gets down on her knees, looking in disappointment at your flaccid cock. She wraps her hand around it and tries stroking it, but finds that it’s too soft. After a few seconds, her face brightens up. She puts a finger in her mouth, coating it in her spit, and places her hand below your ball sack, causing you to gasp nervously. Her finger finds its way through your butt-cheeks and quickly locates your anus, letting her finger slip in, without hesitation. She completely ignores your muffled squeal, and finds her way to your prostate and rubs it gently. She looks at your member with joy as it slowly rises to its full glory.

>>5035111
“That’s more like it” she says, as she gets up again, only to straddle you, leading your cock into her pussy. Quite too fast, you enter her. Quite too fast, she continues riding you. While she seems to have some enjoyment, you don’t. It just doesn’t feel good at all. Not anything like the idealized mollusk sex. Much too quick, no passion, no excitement. You find yourself just waiting for her to finish, but you’re also starting to build up to an orgasm yourself, without really finding much pleasure in it. Suika finally starts showing signs of approaching orgasm. She’s quite the inelegant sight as she greedily tries to stimulate herself more with your cock, and as you focus on getting your own orgasm, you see her body stiffen up for a few seconds, and feel the contractions of her vagina around your cock. And after that, all consciousness escapes her.
“Mmhf?!” you try calling out to her, but you get no answer but the sound of her soft breathing. You sigh in immense frustration, realizing that reaching your own orgasm would depend on either one of you being able to move, which wasn’t going to happen for a while. But for a moment you are filled with hope as you hear her voice, though quietly.
“..really need to pee..” is all you can make out. She doesn’t move or say anything else.
“Was she talking in her sleep?” you think to yourself. “Oh, yes! She usually waits really long before she bothers going to the bathroom, and tonight she has been drinking a lot. She’ll realize she needs to go to the bathroom pretty soon, and that should make her wake up and finally get off me”.
You wait for her to wake up, but you don’t see her move at all. While pondering how long it should take her to realize that her bladder is full, you feel your stomach getting hot. The sensation quickly spreads and you notice that it also feels wet.
“..goddamnit.”

>>5035111
I REMEMBER HOW THIS ENDS

GET OUT OF THERE! RUUUUN!

I once had a dream that I hugged Yuyuko, and then I woke up right afterwards. ;_;

>>5035137

Yuyuhugs: almost as soft as Youmu.

;_;

I dremt that I was in a sauna with Cirno

>>5035164
The worst part was, after the dream, I could still feel her arms wrapped around me, as if I was still being hugged.

>>5033426
Dreams have infinite time. Some troll could drive you insane with that machine.

>>5033636

Feels good man.

I had a dream involving Bern. She was...pleasant. Nice and everything. I ended up accusing her of being a fake and that the real Bern would never act like that. Then she laughed and said that she was indeed the real thing, but wanted to see what happened if she acted sweet. She said it was fun watching me troll myself and not enjoy her pleasantness.

>>5034116

Replace "Yukari" with "Bernkastel," add in handcuffs, and you have my recurring dream. Bern makes me explicitly admit that I'm her toy.

Best dreams I've ever had.

One time I had a dream that I was living with Komachi and I for some unknown reason had to fulfill a titfuck quota with her, but I was behind for the month because I didn't find out till the last minute that it doesn't count when she's actively rubbing her tits on me, it only counts when she's passively letting me thrust.

It was weird.

>>5034616
>begin to massage her breasts with one hand as your other hand slices down her midriff
Now we're on to something.

>>5035565
That seems reasonable enough to me. It's like the difference between fellatio and irrumatio.

I once had a weird dream where I was having sex with Suika, then for some reason, she become a giant and was fucking shit up everywhere.

So I piloted GaoGaiGar to combat her. After defeating her, the dream ended with Giant Super Robot on Giant Oni Loli sex.

If I could draw, I'd definitely create a series of artwork based on that one dream.

Unfortunately for me, nothing beside appealed to my submissive desire to be owned as well as >>5034116 did.

>>5037187
That still doesn't explain why I had to fill a quota.

>>5033208
I had one a year ago. It was at one moment I had sex with Remilia in the bath and then I found out that I became infected with porphyric hemophilia

I never have sex in my dreams. Don't know why I'd want to anyways, I imagine having dream sex would just feel like fapping.

Dear /jp/, last night I had a dream.
A dream where something, somewhere, fucked up.
And due to that fuck-up, Youmu & Yuyuko somehow ended up at the place I work at.
Being the only person who knew who they were, I pretended they were foreign relatives of mine and had to convince them to come with me to my place so my boss wouldn't flip.
Youmu was EXTREMELY reluctant to trust me, but Yuyuko apparently felt I was trustworthy and made Youmu comply.
We had to walk across town to get to my house, unfortunately the trip took longer then expected because Yuyuko was constantly stopping at various restaurants and ordering food. But, being a resident of Hakugyokurou, she had no monies and I was forced to pay all the bills.
Eventually we reached my place and as the two of them settled in it became readily apparent that Youmu did not approve of her surroundings. She began re-arranging all my furniture and shifting stuff from room to room, much to my disdain. I followed her around the entire time, trying to get her to stop but in reality I was only exasperating things. Meanwhile, Yuyuko seemed unbothered by my furnishings and proceeded to wander around my house with her ever-so adorable airheaded complexion. Eventually she settled for snoozing on my bed.
This was where Youmu & I discovered her, and we agreed (for once) it would be best if we let her sleep.

By some miracle I convinced Youmu to help me with dinner (because how the frack am I supposed to know what daily cusine in Hakugyokurou is?) and, following her instructions, we made a meal that I would liken to an expensive lunch at a fancy restaurant. (Y'know, in the $50-$80 range.) Hell, I didn't even know we had some of the ingredients used. Youmu became a little less hostile towards me and we actually began to talk like we were friends. She told me about her family lineage (Konpaku powah!) and how she was the gardener of the Netherworld and personal attendant to Yuyuko and I pretended this was all new info to me (even though it obviously wasn't) and told her about myself and my occupation, family, etc. By the time we had the meal prepared I had even managed to coax a small smile out of her, which no small feat from my perspective. (I've always viewed Youmu as a VERY serious, almost emotionless person. My mental image of her is very close to the attached pic.)
Anyways, about the time we finished the meal, Yuyuko had woken up and made her way back upstairs to my kitchen, and we sat down to eat. (Youmu served the food, even though I protested that the host be the one to perform that duty. However, she insisted so I eventually gave in.) Yuyuko sounded quite pleased with the meal and during the course of our dining she told about herself and how she found my house and indeed, this whole city quite fascinating. After the meal Youmu & I put away the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen while Yuyuko began browsing my bookshelves. SHe would pick up a book, open it, skim the pages for a while, and I got the distinct impression she was only looking at the pictures because whenever I tried to ask her about something that she would've read in the book, she look at me with a puzzled expression and say "What's that?"

I would just sigh and say "nevermind" and continue with my task of cleaning. Boy, am I sure glad Youmu was there to help! She insisted that her Mistress couldn't live in such an unclean residence and eventually convinced me to go on a cleaning rampage throughout the house. We tossed out old junk, dusted everywhere, washed the counters and scrubbed the bathrooms. While cleaning one of my upstairs bathrooms I was getting bored and began sneaking little clumps of bubbles from my soap into Youmu's hair. By the time we finished the bathroom floor she had a full-fledged afro. She didn't notice it, and wouldn't have either, except for the fact that Yuyuko nearly died laughing when she saw it. (No pun intended)

When we were finally finished with the cleaning I plopped down in my armchair and was getting ready to doze off when Yuyuko came zipping into the room holding what appeared to be a laptop. (In hindsight, I think it belonged to a friend of mine, not really sure.) She pointed to the screen and said "Watch this!". She then slid her fingers across the touchpad and the cursor on the screen would track her movements. Each time it wiggled around she'd giggle, and the increasing adorability of the scene was almost too much to bear. I asked her if she would let me see the laptop for a moment. She rested her head on the arm of my chair as I fiddled around with the laptop, getting it level on my legs so she could see properly. I opened up firefox (fuck yeah!) and went to Google and then asked her if there was anything she'd like to know. I half expected what she said next. "Where do you keep the good food?". I laughed and told her "At the Food Court of course!". She replied, "Court? So it's across the Sanzu River?". I laughed and pulled up Googlemaps. I located my house and told her that's where we were that very second. She had the expression of a young child making an amazing realization, like the first time you wanted to go play outside with other kids, or the first time you looked at the sky and understood it was more then a big blue blanket. (All I can say is D'AAAAAWWWW SO ADORABLE!) I then located one of the large Malls in my city and told her that's where the foodcourt was. I was too engrossed in seeing her happy to realize the impact this would have on my wallet, and infact I nearly forgot it as Yuyuko dragged Youmu and me out the door.

>>5038178

So...by dreamfucking a vampire you contracted vampirism?

After another quick jaunt across town (this time only 3 miles though, so not that bad. And luckily, no restauraunts along the way!) The three of us arrived at the mall. If you must know, it's Fayette Mall in Lexington, Kentucky. It's a very large place, with a Dick's Sporting Goods, a Cinemark, Sears, Macey's, and a plethora of other shops and stores of all kinds. And need I mention the people? Swarms of the best and worst this country has to offer! Hundreds of mall patrons, of all shapes and sizes. Scene kids, goths, and emos mixed in with jocks, preps, and douches. There were rednecks & gearheads, geeks & NEETs. There were old couples and young flings. Every social cliche you can think of was present. The look on my guests faces was one of sheer amazement. Yuyuko said she'd never seen so many people or such a large place. (Coming from Hakugyokurou, you'd think she'd be used to large crowds, what with al the innocent things Reimu's always murdering.) Even Youmu was slightly intimidated by the number of potential threats.When you're new to the human world, you never know what to expect from large crowds. It was about this time I noticed she had brought her swords, and ever since we entered the mall she'd been gripping the hilt of her blade in preperation for any kind of trouble. And it wasn't long before trouble found us. It wasn't long at all.

A shady group of scene kids, most of em I knew from a bad phase of my past noticed our approach and took interest in my new friends. They stopped us as we tried to make our way past and one particularly dickhead-looking punk stepped up. As it turns out, this was a guy who I dislike very much and I would no sooner sock him in the jaw then say hello. But I wasn't going to give in to those temptations, not just yet anyways. With a stupid smirk on his face he said, "Yo Dave, who're they?" He looked them over. "Hookers? Cheap whores?". Youmu began to tense up and I could tell she was in the mood to slice first and ask questions later. Yuyuko seemed oblivious to what was going on, she was still too interested in observing her new surroundings to pay any attention to the situation at hand. Youmu began to move towards the punk, as she did she said "How dare you insult my Mistress! I'm going to c-" I stepped in front of her, cutting her off.
"You're going to what? Hit me? Oooh, I'm soo scared! Whoever will save me from the flatchested bitch?" The punk began laughing, and as if on cue, his posse began to laugh as well. And to top it all off, Yuyuko began laughing too. She's always so easy going, even in bad situations. If she sees others laughing then she laughs too. This was the point where I began to worry. Not for our safety, because I knew all to well that they wouldn't be able to lay a finger on any of us, no. I was worried that Youmu would snap and cut them to pieces. Things weren't looking good and I was running out of options.

I tried to defuse the situation. I told the punk to just back off now while he still had the chance. He simply laughed and said, "Or what? You and the flat bitch gonna try and take us all on? Incase you haven't noticed, you're outnumbered. A LOT. But then again, you never were good at math." This one struck home. I'm very intelligent, one of the top minds in the state according to my test results, but I suck absolute balls at math. I just don't like to do it, so I don't. And my grades have always suffered accordingly. I barely graduated highschool, I passed my algebra with a 64.5%. I came inches from snapping and I was ready to say "Frack it" and start swinging when something white caught my eye. Mall security was on their way, several uniformed officers each armed with a stungun, mace, a police baton, and of course, their reputation. Rent-a-Cop or not, this triggered a reaction in the punk's group. He decided it was now or never and threw the first punch, a solid hit to my gut. His buddies all lunged towards the three of us, and I knew we were in trouble.

SNAP.

Youmu lunged forward whilst drawing her blade. In one swift movement she had closed the gap between herself and the punk who hit me and cracked his nose with the hilt of her sword. Thrusting the blade down into the ground, she used it as a support to laucnh herself at the next closest punk and proceeded to deliver a powerful kick to his skull. I didn't get the opportunity to see her next attack, because that's the moment when the rest of the punks reached Yuyuko and myself. I knew Youmu was busy and might not be able to reach us, so I took it upon myself to keep Yuyuko out of harms way.

>>5038214
>>5038208
>>5038203
>>5038201
>>5038196
sage this shit

Now before I continue, let me tell you something about my fighting ability. My combat experience totals to a couple schoolyard fights with bullies back in the mid 90s, and a few scuffles at a mental institution. (That's another story for another time.) Now sure, I've been through hell & back when it comes to dreams (I've fought alongside the Terrans against the Zerg, I've stormed the beaches of Normandy, crossed the blazing deserts of El Alamein alongside Rommel's Afrika Corps, and once even helped James Bond kill Oddjob.) but fighting in dreams is a mixed bag for me, sometimes I can fly and shoot lazers, and sometimes I'm limited to my actual physical abilities. Unfortunately, this was one of those situations where I only had my own abilities to rely on. I throw mild punches, they do little damage. My kicks are another story however, and I'm one agile sunuvabiznitch. I can dodge, block, and counter any strike made by an unexperienced combatant using "street-style" martial arts. Now, back to the dream.

>>5038210
The details were hazy to me, either my dick was bloodied from ramming into her or she bit into my neck really heard.

Yuyuko chose this moment to notice the big sign that pointed the way to the foodcourt, and she began lazily wandering over in the direction it pointed. "Great, I have to do an escort quest." I thought to myself. I spotted Youmu's sword, still embedded into the ground and realized this was my only chance to keep Youmu from murdering anyone. I tugged it out and used it to hold the punks at bay as Yuyuko continued on her merry, oblivious way towards the foodcourt. Several of the punks tried to outflank us and I had to fight a two sided battle, jumping from one side of Yuyuko to the other to hold them off. They quickly wisened up when they realized they couldn't fight a swordsman with their bare hands, and so the punks began picking up objects they could use to their advantage. One guy grabbed a chair from a nearby shop and tossed it at us. It spiraled towards Yuyuko. I barely managed to jump in it's path, and the impact sent me sprawling onto the floor. I went sliding past Yuyuko and as I did I saw another punk was coming up behind her, intending to do God-knows-what, but it couldn't be anything good. By some miracle, Yuyuko saw me slide past and it must've looked like fun to her, because she ran and dived onto her stomach, sliding even farther then I did and giggling all the way. "Thank goodness for her childishness." I thought to myself. It was about this time a new problem reared it's ugly head. Mall security had showed up en-force.

Apparently the original trio of rent-a-cops had called for backup, and now there were 16 of the buggers, stunguns drawn.It was about this time Youmu made her re-appearence. Yuyuko and I were cornered in a small clothing store and the cops were blocking it off. Yuyuko was playing around with some of the frillier clothing accessories (go figure) and I was trying to keep the cops from getting a clear shot at her. Right as they were about to stun us both, Youmu comes up from behind and knocks the group of officers down. I yell that we need to get outta here and she agrees. I grab her by the arm and start to run towards the exit, but Youmu stands fast and refuses to budge until I return her sword. I plead with her to just go, but she refuses and we argue like this for several minutes, me refusing to hand over her weapon until we're off the premises and her refusing to leave the premises until I hand it over. Yuyuko takes this opportunity to wander off and it's now that I realize we're actually in the food court.

Yuyuko heads straight for the asian cuisine section, and returns with multiple large takeout boxes loaded with noodles, rice, chicken, and all kinds of other goodies. My jaw would've dropped in envy if it weren't for our current situation. The rent-a-cops have us surrounded at this point, and I resume pleading with Youmu that we leave before they catch us. I know that if I give her the blade there will be casualties (if there weren't any already, just because she's unarmed doesn't mean she can't kill.) but if we get caught then there'll be even bigger hell to pay. By some kinda miracle, at the last. POSSIBLE. SECOND. Yuyuko asks that Youmu carry the take-out, dumping it all into Youmu's arms before she can protest. With her hands full Youmu can't handle a blade and she knows it, and defying her mistress's will is against all she stands for. I've won. I ask Yuyuko if she can take us home, and next thing I know she's lifted Youmu and me onto her shoulders, and we go crashing through the glass roof and fly off to my house, leaving behind a shattered mall and a whole lotta stunned bystanders.

(AUTHORS NOSE)
[This last bit isn't relative anymore, cause I had to leave for work before being able to post it, but I didn't type up my dream just so that parts could go un-posted!]

It was here that I awoke from the dream. I don't know what happens next, but I can only imagine the three of us went home and enjoyed a great oriental dinner together. I could probably turn this into a crazy story, heck, even a series, though I need to get ready for work, I start at 2pm. Enjoy your reads /jp/!

{THE END}

I've had some other interesting Touhou dreams, but nothing as epic as that. The only thing that comes close was the time that I essentially relived the events of EoSD. In that dream I had the powers of a WoW frost specced mage. It was pretty badass, but I don't know if I'll ever retype it.. It had Koakuma in it, and I somehow managed to dick around with Sakuya's time manipulation crap. I think I might've burnt down part of Patchy's library too..

>>5038248

LOLDREAMLOGIC

I'm wondering why a) nobody noticed Youmu's swords b) even after noticing, the stupid punks still tried to fight c) their manner of dress didn't attact attention. It's not every day that you see a pink-haired woman wearing a blue hat-thing and a blue kimono wandering around in a fucking mall.

>>5038192
Me too. I'll even have naked bitches all over me in some dreams, and I just shove them off for some reason.

Well, that's not even really accurate. For some reason, I usually see myself in third-person, and everything plays out more like a movie than anything else.

This is the first time I find a wall of text to be... arousing...

>>5038376
Draw us a picture now!