/jp/ - Otaku Culture

The food tastes good because it was cooked with love.

>>4968414

Don't care. I just yell " WHERE IS MY DINNER BITCH!?"

brb stroke

I would cry manly tears because this would be a dream come true.

and I wouldn't care if the food didn't taste good. I would eat it since she cooked it with love.

>>4968417
>>4968429
What they said.

Thank you patchy

say Mukyuuu and hug her

>the content of this thread
i lol'd

I"m sure it would be very by-the-book cooking. No snaz or anything, just generic food.
I'll eat it happily, though.

Despite following the book word for word, the food would be disgusting, as all of the ingredients are as old as the cookbooks themselves. So long has it been since patchy cooked....

It tastes like SHIT! What did these eggs come out of, a tengu? It tastes like someone gapped a sewer into my mouth. Not even Youmu's blades could cut through this burnt mess.

>>4968561
You're not a loli! Get the fuck out of my gensyoko!

>>4968561
What the fuck are you

>>4968561
Is that the Hell Kitchen holier than thou fucker?

>>4968430
>>4968429
>>4968417

>>4968561
What he said.

>>4968414
The food is very standard, with no improvisations or anything.

It's good though.

Patchouli is the perfect waifu, so it would be excellent.

I wonder when the fuck we got married and then promptly leave her.

Sorry Patches but you're not my waifu.

>>you come to patchi cooking for you as your waifu

/thread

>I would eat it since she cooked it while making love with me.

>>4968414
It's horrible. too salty, soggy and not well designed.

But ahh... If this is love, than it might be the best dinner i've eaten in a while

>>4968535
Except for the fact that it was made with MAGIC!

>>4968535

I'd rather eat generic meals than having shit-tasted food.

Something in me is tingling... Wait, you got Sakuya to cook this, didn't you? You just dressed up and pretended to move, while she probably came in and timestopped, replacing your FAILURE of a "meal" with something decent.

There are several dishes that just following a recipe will suffice to make something nice.

>>4969394
Genderswapped Kaworu???

Patchouli is diligent at everything she does. If she makes something, it is bound to be good.

You guys are not getting laid

>>4971104
I lay myself, so I don't care.

>>4971104
Oh hey, I remember my first day on /jp/.

But for me, it was the first day the board existed, not today.

I help her cook.

I'm thinking Patchi could whip up a pretty mean quiche. I'd eat her...

It.

She probably coughed all over the food, but that's ok.

i eat it because it was made with love look that heart

>>4971269
>i eat it because it was made with love look that heart
that heart, man. that heart

There's probably traces of blood mixed in when she got another one of her coughing fits.

Since I'm the better cook, I push her away, throw what she was doing to the dog and start making real food.

Man, I smiled imagining this. I was daydreaming for about 20 minutes. I just now snapped out of it long enough to inform you that you've made my day, OP.

>>4971392
But that's ok.

>>4971392

That's hot.

>Smiling Patchouli
...My heart.

>>4971504
>Smelly Patchouli
...Her fart.

>>4971546
>>4971504

>>4971546
Must you ruin everything Anonymous?

>>4971546
The smell of love.

>>4971546
Patchouli's farts are a miracle of the universe.

>>4968414
You will never have your waifu appear and make you a meal out of love. ;_;

>>4971592
YOU CAN'T KNOW THAT!

I'd ask my 3d custom waifu if she likes cosplaying as patchi. she'd say yes and her food would taste awesome.

>>4968414

Go back to the library!

Geez! Since when does girls work in the Kitchen??

>>4971592

You will never have your waifu unselfconsciously fart in your presence because she feels completely comfortable around you. ;_;

>>4968414
>A girl who knows a megaton because she reads all the time
>Can't cook well because she lacks experience, rather than knowledge.

>>4971811
Narcissist.

>>4968414

Her food smells awful.

I want to feel her up from behind as she's cooking ;_;

I don't care if it smells bad. I don't care if it tastes bad. I don't care if it makes me vomit blood. I'd still eat it because it was made with love.

dat healthy patchy

whats wrong with cooking by the book?
I've cooked some really good dishes
and I attribute my success with them due to my precision.

>>4973260
>precision

BOOM HEADSHOT WHOS THE MAN WHOS THE MAN

The food smells good, like Patty.

I would step up behind her, and hug her gently. Give her a peck on the cheek and ask how the food is coming along. She would drone on a bit about how she is roughly 5/6ths through the cooking process, and that some of the ingredients were mediocre at best. I'd laugh and squeeze her again, not too hard though. I don't want to hurt the baby.

I close my eyes and get a whiff of Patchy's hair, and the food she's cooking. My hands make their way around to her stomach, where the little bulge is growing. Neither of us have felt a kick yet...but we know we will one day soon. I kiss her cheek again, and help by setting the table.

You see, Patchy has been my waifu for many months now. This miracle is proof that fapping into my Patchy onahole is enough to make wishes come true.

I live happily for a long long time, with my waifu, Patchouli Knowledge.

>>4973332
Then you wake up and start crying.

>>4973332

>>4973332
At first I d'awwed. Then I cried. ;_;

>>4973332

Wish I had the effort and bravery to write a story like that.

>>4973332

>>4973332
>patchy onahole

They make these? Or do you just leave a regular onahole outside for a while?

>>4973332
That's very interesting.

Patchy is no waifu material

>implying toohoos like men

Patchy would make the best housewife ever. I fucking hate kids, but I'd have babies with her, just to spread her hikki genes onwards :3

>>4973572
>implying I am not the little girl

>>4973476
if you use a few times without cleaning it, it will start to smell a little like patchy.

Patchu seems like type that wouldn't mind you quietly laying around. If she did say something i'd just yell "quietto!"

TEH CHICKEN IS RAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

I'd be okay with it I guess. If she'd let me I'd help, since usually I do the cooking.